It’s Strange: Doctor Strange (2016)

It’s Strange.

Maybe. Who am I to judge?

So I was never super into the Doctor Strange comics. The only time I ever encountered him was through his interaction with Spider-man.

I wasn’t planning on checking it out, but then I had some friends want to watch it and we did. Let’s see, what did I think of it:

First of all let’s talk about the most awful thing in the film-Benedict Cumberbatch’s American accent.

Ugh.

It was so weird. I mean I know what he really sounds like from his other shows, so hearing him try to be “American” was so hard and made it impossible to get into the film fully.

The other issue I had with the film was the visual effects. I know everyone loves CGI and they love the crazy things they do in her. But I have really bad vision, really bad. So whenever things get blurry or moving everywhere it gives me such a bad headache and makes it difficult for me to get into it.

Then we had the character.

I felt the story was really boring and something we’ve seen again and again. An egomaniac who has no time for anyone and does all kinds of great things; then he gets injured and can no longer do what he did before; he goes on a big journey of self-discovery; and becomes a new person. It wasn’t bad, I just felt this plot was overdone.

For me I just found the whole thing to be:

Meh.

It’s not the worst Marvel film, but definitely not one of the best (to me).

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to Sometimes, Dead is Better: Pet Sematary (1989)

For more superheroes, go to The Cruel Giggling Ghoul: Teen Titans Go (2016)

For more on Benedict Cumberbatch, go to Fan-do or Fan-don’t. There is No Fan-try

For more on magic, go to Those Aren’t Men They Are the Living Dead: White Zombie (1932)

Fan-do or Fan-don’t. There is No Fan-try

So you all know how much I love Star Wars

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But I will not be taking about it today. Instead I will be talking about things I fandom over. Maybe this post will induce you to join me.

If you only knew the power of the Fandom!

If you only knew the power of the Fandom!

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7th Heaven

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What can I say about this show? Out of everything I ever watched or grew up watching; this was one of my favorites.

I love it

It is the story of a minister’s family, Reverend Camden, in small town Glen Oak, CA; and the trials, tribulations, fun, and everything in between that they go through.

One of the reasons why I enjoyed this show so much was because I am a preacher’s kid (p.k.), so I could completely relate to everything they had the characters go through. It was pretty real, except for the fact that the church has no youth group and the kids are never expected to help out in church.

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But the issues they face and the way the characters relate or rebel to the ministry; was spot on. The only thing I didn’t like was the last episode as it ended on a cliffhanger, and the last season was horrendous. They should have just stopped.

Stop stop it now!

If I had to pick a favorite character, when I was younger I loved Simon (David Gallagher). But now as an adult, I’m mad about Matt Camden (Barry Watson).

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He was hot, kind, smart, adorable, the perfect older brother, perfect boyfriend; just a total dream guy.

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And if you rewatch or watch the first season, he is the pre-Jared Padalecki long-haired, tall, handsome actor. Just check out that hairdo.

I was so sad when it ended as it just didn’t mark the end of a series, and characters I love; but it was such a huge part of my childhood. It is always hard saying good-bye to something like that.

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For more on 7th Heaven, go to She’s Still Preoccupied With 1985

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Series of Unfortunate Events

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To remember when this book came out? It was an amazing series and I just loved it. I enjoyed how their was always good out of bad and the whole mysteriousness surrounding the V.F.D.

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I even went farther than just reading the series, but going as far as reading The Beatrice Letters and The Unauthorized Biography of Lemony Snicket.

I loved the series up to #10, The Slippery Slope, but after that the book was horrible. And when the revealed everything in #13 The End I was so disappointed.

But like 7th Heaven this was a huge part of my childhood, and I was so sad when it ended. However, I will be passing this on to my nieces and nephews.

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For more Lemony Snicket, go to I Hate Those Kinds of People

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Sherlock Holmes/ Sherlock

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So I am a HUGE fan of Sherlock Holmes mysteries, I’ve been reading them since I was a child and watching almost every version created. What can I say, I love Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

 

Go here to see who your biographer should have been.

Go here to see who your biographer should have been.

So my friend loved this TV show and tried to get me into it. I had started watching it, but saw the first episode on TV and thought it wasn’t quite right in how I picture Sherlock.

So I waited a few years, and then decided to watch it from the beginning. From there I realized it was pretty good. 

I love it

I thought that all the episodes were great except A Scandal in Belgravia, Irene Adler was just too weird.

But Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman were just perfect as Sherlock and Dr. Watson. I liked how Sherlock was a bit more rambunctious and impulsive, as his age and the wisdom that comes with it haven’t been reached yet. I liked how Dr. Watson was more active; not always instantly catching on to what was happening but taking part in trying to help solve and protect Sherlock.

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For more on Sherlock, go to England Dreamin’ On Such a Summer’s Day

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Sleeping Beauty

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I mentioned quite a few times how much I love this movie. I think it is a great plot, Aurora is an amazing character, and Prince Phillip the perfect prince.

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In fact I loved this film so much I was Aurora twice for Halloween, and my sister and I used to act it out all the time. I would be Aurora:

Sleeping Beauty

And she would be Maleficent.

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We would have to have Barbies or stuffed animals be the rest.

One of my favorite songs/scenes is Once Upon a Dream. So one of my favorite scenes from this movie is when they sing and dance to Once Upon a Dream. I remember I used to act this scene out by myself and with my barbie dolls. It was the first song I have ever memorized extremely quickly.  I used to sing this song ALL THE TIME. Just couldn’t stop.

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Yep, just one amazing film.

For more on Sleeping Beauty, go to Waiter, There’s Some Disney in My Jane Austen

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Spider-man

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I am a huge Spider-man fan. I grew up watching the Spider-man hour in which the showed Spider-man and His Amazing Friends along with the ’90s cartoon. I loved that cartoon as it totally and completely captured everything I love about Spider-man. The sass, the fact that he is constantly struggling to go to school and provide for his aunt, trying to have a life and friends while be a super hero. Dealing with all this responsibility.

From this I moved to the comics and become a major fan and nerd.

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I have read the Spider-man Encyclopedia like 20 times. I own the ’60s (and best) comics. I just love this guy!

If he existed.

If he existed.

None of the films have really done him justice (I hate Andrew Garfield), but Spider-man will always be one of my major loves. And guess what? He’s perfect for me!

To see who should be your superhero BF click here.

To see who should be your superhero BF click here.

Yep he’s one of the best superheroes ever!

greatpower Spider-man

For more Spider-man, go to Oh What A Night

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I’m hoping that this will rise in you a desire to check them out.

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For the previous post, go to The Strange Case of a Fangirl and Her Fandoms

And Stay tuned for part 22

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For more Peter Pan, go to A Pirate’s Life is the Life for Me

For more Disney posts, go to A Little Monkey Business: Chinese New Year

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In other news, this is my 700th post!

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Only took five months to reach this milestone.

For the 600th post, go to There Are Thirteen Chairs at the Table…And That’s Unlucky: Mystery of the 13th Guest (1943)

For the 500th post, go to Fantom of the Opera

Oh What A Night

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When I read this comic it kind of made me think of the song Shut Up and DanceIt also made me think of the song December, 1963 (Oh What A Night) by Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons.

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I am a huge fan of Frankie Valli and this one of my favorite songs by the group. Whenever I hear a chord or lyric I just start bursting out singing.

Sing

The song was originally supposed to be titles December 5th  1933 and about the repealing of Prohibition; but Frankie Vallie made them change it. He thought a song about nostalgic memories of a beautiful girl once met was a much stronger premise. And I agree, the memory aspect makes this song so much better and more enjoyable.

The song was written Bob Gaudio about the meeting and courtship of his wife Judy Parker.

How romantic

How romantic

Oh, what a night, late December back in ’63

What a very special time for me
As I remember what a night!
Oh what a night,
You know I didn’t even know her name
But I was never gonna be the same
What a lady, what a night!
Oh, I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room

see cute guy look
And I, as I recall it ended much too soon
Oh what a night,
Hypnotizing, mesmerizing me
She was everything I dreamed she’d be
Sweet surrender, what a night!
I felt a rush like a rolling ball of thunder
Spinning my head around and taking my body under
(Oh what a night!)
Oh, I got a funny feeling when she walked in the room
And I, as I recall it ended much too soon
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night,
Why’d it take so long to see the light?
Seemed so wrong, but now it seems so right
What a lady, what a night!
I felt a rush like a rolling ball of thunder
Spinning my head around and taking my body under

BacktothefutureDance
(Oh what a night!)
I felt a rush like a rolling ball of thunder
Spinning my head around and taking my body under
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit
Oh what a night! Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit

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For more Frankie Valli, go to You’re Just Too Good to Be True: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

For more of my music, go to T.N.T.

We’re in the Future: Good-bye 2015

So you all know what I think of 2015

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I decided that as I started my year with:

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it was only fitting that after I ended my year with Back to the Future as well.

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So in ending 2015, I decided that I’m going to list everything that Back to the Future II (BTTF II) got right about 2015

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Other Fuel

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So while we don’t fly in our cars or through space yet, (Yet I say, yet) there is another method of fuel that has there is another method of fuel besides gas that is gaining popularity, electric cars. Not popular you say? Do you remember when I wrote a post on my car breaking down in San Francisco and we couldn’t find a single parking spot as all were reserved for electric cars? I’m telling you, they are really pushing those things.

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Weather Watch

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While in BTTF II future, we actually control the weather, which of course is not happening now, there are two things that BTTD II was spot on about. First, that we would be able to get weather information instantaneous (which we do on the internet/phones) and that we could actually get that information from our watches.

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Laserdisc Losers

Record not a laserdisc, I know.

Record not a laserdisc, I know.

When Marty and Doc first settle down the alley in the future you can see a bunch of laserdiscs wrapped up and ready to picked up by the trash men. Back in the ’80s, laserdisc weren’t super popular, but still seen as the way of the future. However, BTTF II knew they wouldn’t go far and now most of the people alive today have no clue what they are.

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Self-Lacing Nike Shoes

One of those self-fulling prophecy’s. Nike saw it and decided to make it.

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2015 Fashion

Back to the Future II

I was going to make these all separate, but decided it would be easier to put them all together.

*One Size Fits All*

While we don’t have the awesomeness of buying clothes and pulling just one tab to make it fit us perfecctly, BTTF II did get one thing right; the one-size-fits all craze. Now I don’t know how popular this was in the ’80s, but in today’s world it has become a thing.

*Caps Lock*

Now what is it called when you do something before it was cool, in a future before it happened? I don’t know, but that rainbow dipped cap Marty wears in 2015, it is something you see in stores today, that the hipsters would be wearing all over. If you took that and added a triangle or a quote, someone would even use it as their phone’s wallpaper

*Workout Wear as Regular Clothes*

Everywhere you look in this film people are wearing workout wear as they do their regular thing. This was happening in the ’80s, but not by people of all ages like today. Yep, from older men and women; to middle aged mothers, teens, preteens, and kids; wearing workout wear when you have intention of actually working out has become a thing. It is acceptable and BTTF II caught onto it way before we thought it was okay.

*Eye Makeup*

BTTF II really tried to go spacey on their mkeup, but they actually hit the nail on the head. For some reason I am signed up for Teen Vogue, and what they keep perpetuating is crazy makeup.

*Two Tone **

One of Griff’s gang sports a highlighted pompadour, something all the guys are doing these days.

*Studded Out Shoes*

Biff wears them in BTTF II, and today you go anywhere and it is like studzilla. 

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Endless Remakes/Sequels

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While remakes and sequels were happening in the ’80s it was nothing like it is today. I mean look at the Spider-man series; made in the 2000s, remade in 2010s, going to be remade again?

Or what about the Halloween series? There is like 9 already! Or Friday the 13th

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Annoying Ads & Persevering Pop Ups

So as Marty is walking along, everywhere he goes ads appear; Jaws 19, Vote For Mayor, etc. Sound familiar? It seems like today we are being constantly hit by them; going beyond TV and radio, to the internet, youtube, and even Amazon.

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I Love the ’80s

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When Marty steps into the Cafe ’80s he sees a palozza of ’80s love, which has defintely been going on today. Part of it has to do with the fact that 1985 turned 30 this year, but the 2015 has had some serious ’80s love in film; fashion, & more; it is clear we are just as gaga as they thought we would be. Although no Cafe ’80s yet, sadly.

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“You Have To Use Your Hands”

BTTF II called it when they said 2015 would be  world in which you didn’t have to use your hands to play video games. While some still require it, BTTF II dreamed up the Wii and Kinect long before those companies did.

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Hoverboards

Hoverboards

While they aren’t really like the ones in the film, more along the lines of a skateboard, we still technically have them. For me, https://www.youtube.com/embed/vbOWr7y0cT4” target=”_blank”>I’m waiting until we actually levitate.

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News in a Nanosecond

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When Griff & Gang crash into the clock tower, you see a flying computer with the words USA Today on the side that captures the event. Boy was that prophetic! First today most newspapers aren’t run as they used to. They don’t have as many reporters, choosing to pay for the associated press and get their stories that way, outmoding people. Also news is now instantaneous. Things happen, and they are posted on the web, pics and videos. Also computers are the way most get their news, a lot of papers don’t hand out physical copies as much as they used to.

Not to mention that with vlogging and blogging, the news is taking a very different form.

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Books No Longer Paper

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So when Marty purchases the almanac in order to place all those bets, the saeslady mentions “back when books were printed on paper.” Now it is true that in almost every science fiction book or film you read/see, they get rid of paper books, it still is eerily to see them talk about it, knowing that in 2015 books will be available in another format.

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A Delorean? Haven’t Seen One of Those In…

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Sadly the Delorean went out of business in the early ’80s, before this film was made. And because of that, you didn’t see them anywhere. However, in the ’90s the DeLorean company was made to bring it back, but it still is a rare sight.

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Check Out the Telly

Ringu Watch TV

Let’s talk about the TV they show in BTTF II. First did you notice they have large flat screen TVs that you in today’s stores? Yep, back in the day of the bulky square TVs, BTTF II saw a thiner, wider, version coming along the horizon.

They have the ability to watch relaxing scenes of scenery, just like you can today. Think of Netflix’s Christmas log/fireplace.

They also have the ability to watch six different channels/screen at once. Just like Direct TV is always showing in their ads.

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Google Glasses

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At the table eating, you’ll see that both Marty Jr. and Marlene both have glasses that give them the ability to search the web, receive phone calls, and they have to do voice commands. Sound like anything you’ve heard of? Like Google Glasses.

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Phone More Interesting Than People

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When you watch the film you’ll see that as the McFly clan gathers around to eat their rehydrated pizza, the kids are all focused on their google glasses not caring about actually conversing with anyone. The only ones who are talking, are those that were young in the ’50s and ’80s, the older generation. Sound familiar? I see that everyday.

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Skype You Later

While it is true that most future films, books, and TV shows tend to have these kind of communication; BTTF II was spot on when it said we would have the technology to communicate with people face to face when we call. Whether you use Skype, Facetime, Snapchat, etc.; BTTF II knew what was what.

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For me 2015 was a great year as I was finally able to live one of my dreams, see all three Back to the Futures on the big screen. But whether it was all that you wished or not exactly a dream year, I wish you all a happy new year, and may this one be a great new start!

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Back to the Future

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For more on Back to the Future, go to Back to the Supernatural

For more on 2015, go to Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Roads

That Place…There’s Queer Things Goes on There: Jamaica Inn (1939)

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That place – Jamaica Inn. It’s got a bad name. It’s not healthy, that’s why. There’s queer things goes on there.

Alfred Hitchcock, practically everyone knows the King of Suspense.

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But while most know the films The Birds; Psycho, Vertigo, etc: a lot of his earlier films are ignored. So while these may not be everyone’s favorite, these are films I love and enjoy.

Jamaica Inn was the last film Alfred Hitchcock made in the U.K., with him moving to the United States after this picture was completed. While it is not considered one of Alfred Hitchcock’s best films, most people hate it even going as far to state it as his worst, I like it so I’m going to review it.

So the film is based on the historical fiction novel of the same name, written by Daphne du Marier (the same woman who wrote The Birds and Rebecca). Both she and Alfred Hitchcock were very displeased with the end result. Now why did this movie have so many problems? Charles Laughton.

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Now don’t get me wrong. He is a great actor, I mean look at his filmography. However, as he produced this he was able to call a lot of the shots, therefore not allowing Hitchcock to work his usual magic. Laughton changed the character chosen for him, forced Hitchcock to hire Maureen O’Hara, made Hitchcock reveal a twist earlier than planned, etc. It’s hard when someone usurps the director’s power.

But not everyone knows how to wield it.

But not everyone knows how to wield it.

Anyways, I’m going to review, because I like it.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

Now before we get into the review, let’s have a brief history lesson.

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This film takes place in the 1820 and involves a ship wrecking gang. Wrecking was a major economy booster and began as early as the 14th century, ending in the 20th century. Certain areas, such as Cromwell where this film takes place, gangs would cause ships to crash into the rocky shoreline, by either creating false lights or putting out the usual ones.

When the ships crashed, the gangs would then salvage the cargo, sell it, and kill the sailors to hide their crimes. It wasn’t until 1870, that rescuing the sailors brought in a reward.

In order to hide these activities, the wreckers would spread stories about ghost, phantoms, or other supernatural beings existing in the area.

Jamaica Inn is also based on a real inn and pub. It was known for its smugglers, pirates, and ghost stories.

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 So this film starts out with something a bit unusual, a prayer.

“O Lord we pray the–

not that wrecks should happen,

but that if they do happen

Thou wilt guide them–

to the coast of Cornwall,

for the benefit of the

poor inhabitants.

This real prayer for the 19th century shows how prevalent, wrecking/salvaging was.

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So the film starts out with the pirates (as they technically are as they are robbing/plundering ships) putting out the lights at Cromwell’s shore during a huge storm, causing them to crash. The crew go out and salvage everything, leaving no sailor alive.

wolfman dead bodies lots cart

The leader of this group is Joss Merlyn, also owner of Jamaica Inn. He picks the ships, sells the goods, divvies up the profits, and makes sure every man follows his orders. He’s not looking to head for the gallows.

Meanwhile, Mary Yellen is traveling from Ireland to Jamaica Inn.

what strange huh Jamaica Inn Mary Maureen O'Hara

Mary is played by Maureen O’Hara, in her first big role. She’s heading to Jamaica Inn to be with her Aunt Patience as her parents died and she has no where else to go. She’s heading in a cab, when suddenly it starts moving extremely fast and passes Jamaica Inn.

What's going on?

What’s going on?

She tries to get him to stop, but he refuses to listen. He’s afraid of Jamaica Inn, as he’s heard stories of ghosts, pirates, thieves, and worse. Instead he overshoots it by miles, dropping her off in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere.

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Geez, how rude. I mean just living a women stranded in the middle of nowhere in the dark?

Jerk

Luckily, she isn’t too far from the Squire’s house, Sir Humphrey. She decides to head down there for help.

Meanwhile, Sir Humphrey is having a big dinner and fancy party for him and his friends.

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Now the Squire loves beautiful things. He’ll spend tons of money on a figurine, a horse, etc. Some of the ladies at the tale are interested in landing him, but they aren’t young or pretty enough for him.

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Mary comes in from the cold and demands to see the Squire for help. Sir Humphrey is annoyed/intrigued at the intrusion sand makes a bet the girl will be ugly. However, when he sees her, he is stunned at her beauty.

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He then tells her to remove her coat:

Gilmore girls creep

I’d be like “heck no!” I’m leaving my clothes on.

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But, she agrees, and he says she looks stunning. That over and done with, she asks him for help to the Inn. Sir Humphrey doesn’t want her to go, as the inn is full of ruffians, no place for a pretty, young girl. He would rather she stay with him.

No thank youhowaboutno

Mary thanks him, but insists on going to the inn to be with her aunt Patience. Sir Humphrey agrees to help, and takes her to the inn.

When they arrive, Joss is creepily staring through the window at Mary.

He's creepin' in your windows. He's starin' at your people.

He’s creepin’ in your windows. He’s starin’ at your people.

She knocks at the door and when he opens it, he sticks a gun in her face.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

Mary quickly tells him who she is, and then Joss tries to flirt with her, asking for a kiss.

I don't think so

Mary starts yelling at him and telling him to watch out, her uncle won’t stand for such rude treatment.

The jerk just laughs, and reveals he is her uncle.

ew! Gross Yuck

Luckily, Patience comes out and stops his attentions for the moment. Mary is shocked when she sees Patience, she used to be so beautiful, but now is a tired, pale, weary, slip of a thing.

What happened to you?

What happened to you?

You can tell by her pinched face that she is emotionally and physically abused by her husband.

Patience is happy to see her, but surprised. Apparently, they never received Mary’s letter telling of her parents death. They bring her in, with Joss making poor Patience carry the whole trunk. Mary goes to help, but Joss says no as he would hate to ruin a lady’s beautiful hands.

ew! Gross Yuck

How could he flirt like that in front of his wife? To her own niece?

Jerk

Mary has a fiery temper and yells at him. In return he picks up her trunk and throws it up the stairs, proving his strength. A true test of wills.

Don't mess with me!

Don’t mess with me!

Downstairs the crew are laughing and being rowdy, Joss having Patience take Mary into the kitchen so that she won’t find out what’s going on.

When Harry, Joss’ right hand man, hears of a pretty lady, he tries to go see her and put the moves on her.

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But Joss tells everyone that Mary is hands off, only for him. I mean to his wife’s niece? What a jerk and mega creep.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

Back in the kitchen Mary and Patience are talking. Mary wants Patience to leave Joss, but she won’t. She ran away from him because she loved him, and even though he beats her, she still “loves” him. In reality, she has come to believe she deserves the beating, stuck in that cycle of abuse.

StarTrekBonesMcCoyPoorGirl PM

So back with the pirates.  A recent addition to the team, Jem Trehearne, has been starting a ruckus with the men.

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He believes there is a lot more going on then Joss is saying. He’s been keeping on eye on the merchandise ands how much they’ve received back and it is not adding up right. There is some that is being funneled elsewhere. Jem is also smart enough to realize there is no way Joss could fence these items on his own, there must be someone helping him. But who?

Sounds suspicious

Sounds suspicious

Joss sees how unsettled everyone is, and turns the suspicions back onto the crew; telling the group how easy it could be for one of them to take the product and waylay it, selling it later and keeping the profits. Now we have a witchunt, wtith everyone questioning each other.

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He starts questioning how long each has been with him, coming up to Jem who has only been a part of the group for two months. Jem tries to turn it back to Joss and his mystery partner, but all have turned against him.

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Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

They seize Jem and search his pockets, finding gold. That settles it, he must hang.

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Before they can get started, Patience interrupts. She never would do such a thing, except Mary has just told her the Squire, Sir Humphrey, gave her a lift to the inn. She’s worried that him being there, he might have seen something.

Spoke too soon

He tells Patience to take Mary up to her room to finish dinner, let’s Harry take care of Jem, and then heads upstairs to a locked room.

Sounds suspicious

Sounds suspicious

And in there is the squire.

Say What

It turns out that Jem was right all along, there is someone else in charge, the squire.

This was an area of the film Hitchcock strongly disagreed with. He wanted to wait until the very end to do one of his famous reveals, us finding out that the Squire, supposed good guy was the real villain. But Laughton was a big star and he wanted more screen time, and as he was also producing the film, what he said went. It is interesting to see Hitchcock as he is starting out and then later on, when his word was the law. Even when it drove his actress crazy, like Tippi Hedren in The Birds.

Anyways, yes the real criminal mastermind is indeed the Squire, Sir Humphrey.

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Don’t let that pompous act fool you. He wines and dines the captains, finding out when ships carrying valuables are coming, sending word to Joss, who then gets the group out there to take care of it. Joss turns the goods over to the Squire, who sells the product taking a hefty cut, and giving the rest to be doled out the crewman. In some ways, this is very similar to Michael Crichton’s book Pirate Latitudes.

So Sir Humphrey is not happy with what he has, he thinks he deserves more.

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Joss disagrees, warning him about the unruly crewman who think they are being created. They were lucky that Jem was a perfect scapegoat, but what if next time they men turn on him?

Them in this case

Them in this case

Squire tells him it doesn’t matter, and he better deal with the problem. They need to refocus as a new ship is coming in tomorrow night with lots of valuables.

Eyes on the prize

Eyes on the prize.

Joss tells Sir Humphrey about Mary, and that he will remove her from the equation. Sir Humphrey disagrees, as he wants Mary to stay, that is until he’s had her.

Mmhm great gatsby

Meanwhile, Jem has been knocked out and tied up. The crew are looking for the right beam to hang him, unknowingly choosing the exact one that lies under Mary’s room.

She overhears them talking about killing Jem, and watches them through a knothole, as they tie him up to the beam. One of the men, Dandy, really likes Jem’s buckles. Instead of waiting to play dice for them, Dandy grabs them and runs off, causing the others to chase him.

Run Away

With them out of the way, Mary takes her knife and starts sawing through the rope, trying to free Jem. After he drops to the ground, she sneaks out of her room and completes untying him. She wakes him up, and he tries to get her to come with him, but she has to stay for her aunt.

However, they quickly discover Jem is gone. Patience figures out that it is Mary.

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and tells her to run. She takes off but soon finds herself about to be caught, when Jem pulls her onto the roof.

How romantic

How romantic

How sweet, he couldn’t leave her behind to face everything on her own.

The two take off for the shore, Jem saying he knows a place they’ll be able to hide for a while.

Joss figures out who let Jem out, and sends everyone in teams to find them and kill them. He then goes to see the Squire to warn him.

Back at the squire’s home, we discover that he isn’t as rich as he’s been pretending to be.

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I also suspect that he suffers from being bipolar or some other disease. They way he switches so quickly from anger to joyful, there’s something disconnected up there.

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It turns out that his Butler is also starting to question what’s going on with the squire, as madness runs in his family.

Joss goes to him worried about what might happen with Jem and Mary, who they will tell. Sir Humphrey tells him to calm down as he is the only justice of the peace in the area. He kicks Joss out and tells him to focus on the ship wrecking.

Eyes on the prize

Eyes on the prize

He continues to yell at Joss, and also tells him to leave Mary alone. That girl is his.

All-Mine

The next day, Mary wakes up in the arms of Jem.

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She is suddenly freaked out as the realization of her choices hits her. She betrayed her family to save a man she doesn’t even know, a thief and pirate. She can never return to her Aunt’s home, all family is lost to her, and all she has is a pirate who could be cruel to her or hurt her.

I don't know what to do

She tries to sneak away, and steal the boat, but wakes Jem up, who is hurt at her not trusting him. I mean after all that you think they would have a bond.

Jem Trehearne: That’s women for you – save your life one minute, frightened of you the next. I guess I’m not a very pretty sight at the moment, but I don’t bite, you know.

While the two are arguing, the boat slips away and they are now stuck in a cave, and high tide will be upon them soon enough.

Reality Sucks

So now they are stuck. And in this scene we have some of the best banter. Jem is totally trying to make light of the situation. Mary, on the other hand, is angry at herself and the fact that everything is going wrong.

Jem Trehearne: Trust me to land myself with a woman. ‘Course, you did save my life.

Mary Yellen: I hope you make better use of it in the future.

Jem Trehearne: That’s a tall order for a desperate character like me.

Mary Yellen: No doubt.

Jem Trehearne: Smuggler and a cutthroat; that gives it.

Mary Yellen: Very likely.

Jem Trehearne: Do you think there’s any hope for me? Tell me, what all am I to do?

Mary Yellen: Anything you please.

Jem Trehearne: Well, I used to be a sailor. I can go back to sea.

Mary Yellen: I’m not in the least interested.

Jem Trehearne: You must be. Don’t forget you’re responsible for me.

Mary Yellen: I am not.

Jem Trehearne: Oh, yes. If weren’t for you I shouldn’t be here at all. You can’t deny that. When we’re safe in Trulo I’ll place myself entirely in your hands.

Mary Yellen: Oh, please be quiet.

I like Jem. I think he is sweet, funny, and pretty adorable while at the same time being a man of action, and having some honor. I wonder how he got mixed up with thieves?

The plot thickens

So while they are talking, they fail to realize that their lost boat has just given away their position. Harry and two other crew members, realize they are in the cave and throw down a rope, inviting them up. They’re trapped. Either they wait in the cave and drown when the high tide comes in. Or they are saved and killed by the pirates.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

But Jem won’t give up. He decides to instead have him and Mary swim to shore. They have a better chance of surviving the stormy sea, then staying in the cave where the men will let them drown or hang them.

They make it to shore, and Jem wants to go to town. Mary changes his mind, by pointing out the Squire’s mansion is so much closer.

Spoke too soon

When they get to the house, they interrupt a dinner with a captain.

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The two come in soaked and telling the squire about what’s going on. Mary is sent upstairs to change into dry things, stopping to ask the squire for clemency for Jem, while Jem is regulated in front of the fire as he is not important. Go ahead and freeze to death or catch the flu and die, you’re not important.

Mr.DarcyMoveAsidepeasants Pride and prejuice

But Jem will not be regulated to the side. He insists on speaking to the squire NOW. In fact he has something very important to show Sir Humphrey.

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His badge.

Say What

Yep Jem is not really a thief, he’s actual a cop and was just undercover trying to bust a ship wrecking ring. Before Sir Humphrey was just going to get rid of him or lock him up, but know that he is a cop with real officers knowing who he is and where he went. It’s time to change the game.

New plan

New plan

Mary overhears and runs over to the Inn to warn Patience, and try and get her to leave, but she won’t go. Soon Jem and Sir Humphrey arrive, Sir Humphrey playing along with Jem; as Jem deduces the how, where, and why of the whole situation. He just needs to figure out who the head man is.

WhoDoneItMystery?

He tries to persuade Joss to tell. This man is a tyrant that must be brought to justice!

Jem Trehearne: He [the head of the operation] remains aloof content to hire the scum of the coast to do his murderous work for him, thinking there’s no blood on his hands, but there is.

Jem leaves Joss with Sir Humphrey, as he goes to move the women upstairs. While he is gone Sir Humphrey warns Joss that tonight will have to be the last one, it would be best for both to take a little vacation. Then he hands over his gun.

Now think how much more awesome this scene would have been if this was the first time we realized that the Squire was the man they were working for. Hitchcock relly got gypped there. Oh, well.

So the men have heard Jem, and without Sir Humphrey as back up, the two are quickly captured and tied up.

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Joss puts Patience on guard with a gun, while asking Mary along, just in case she had the urge to free Jem again.

Jem puts on a brave face and tries to convince Patience that if she gives up the location of her husband, then it will help him serve less time. Patiene refuses.

No thank youhowaboutno

Sir Humphrey doesn’t even bother talking, getting out of the unknotted knots Joss tied on him and walking right out. After all, he has a ship to catch.

Jem is embarrassed and angry he could be tricked so easily, but continues to try to get Patience to set him free. But Patience says no, she loves Jem.

Laura what I want No good

Eventually something must have worked on her, as the next scene we see Jem free and out to get help.

Meanwhile Mary is out with the crewman. They put the beacon out and wait, but while all are preoccupied, Mary runs out to fix the beacon. She gets in a fight with one of the men, accidentally breaking the beacon and setting her cape on fire. She hangs that up and saves the ship.

The salvagers are very angry!

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Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

They grab her and start tearing at her clothes, making threats about what they will do. Joss comes into save her, but gets shot by Harry.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Mary manages to get his body to the inn. There Patience is heartbroken and tries to warn Mary that Joss wasn’t the real leader, there is someone worse, when she is shot!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Sir Humphrey shot her as he didn’t want her warning Mary about him. He then goes and ties her up, giving her a hooded cape to hide it, and takes her with him in his carriage.

tumblr_dr.jekyllhydemirrorsneakupbehindscareaah!

So Sir Humprey has completely succumbed to the insanity that runs in his family.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Jem is not too far behind the two, being able to get the regimental captain that was dining with Sir Humphrey earlier to use his troops to stop the men. They round up the ship wreckers and find the bodies of Joss and Patience. They set out to follow Humphrey’s trail.

At the ship, Sir Humphrey throws Mary inside a cabin. Telling her that she may have wanted to marry some normal, man and have a litter of kids, but that’s not what she should have. She should have the finer things with him.

Sir Humphrey: Good thing you have a man of sensibility, who’d rather see you dead first.

Certified Creepo Ribbon

Before Sir Humphrey can make good on his threats, the regiment arrives. He tries to take Mary as a hostage, but they are prepared to shoot any part of his body they can. In order to escape he climbs up the sails of the ship, choosing to jump off and commit suicide then be taken alive.

Mary is shaken over everything, with Jem taking her and comforting her.

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So was it as amazing as his later work? No. Was it still a good movie? Yes. I thought it was interesting, fun, a tad campy, but still entertaining.

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to The Story. We’re Living It. It’s Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)

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For more on Alfred Hitchcock, go to The Perfect Murder: Dial “M” for Murder (1954)

For more films based on a book, go to What Have We Done to Each Other?: Gone Girl (2014)

For more on Maureen O’Hara, go to At the End of the Rainbow: 17 More Irish Heroes