A Family Affair

So I already did a post on the opening line of Sense and Sensibility, you should go here if you want to check that out. So Sense and Sensibility is far different from Pride & Prejudice. In Pride & Prejudice we have a basic introduction to the family-5 daughters, and their mother’s need to marry them off.

Pride&PrejudiceTruthUniversallyAcknowledged

Sense and Sensibility is a little different.

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We get a big family entanglement of who’s who in the family and who’s inheriting. It can be a bit much.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

It’s not as bad as Love Actually or He’s Just NOT Into You, but it is pretty knotted. But lucky for you all, that’s what I’m here for. I shall untangle it for you.

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So it’s always about the property and land right?

And in this case it’s the same. But the one in question here is Norland Park, belonging to Mr. Dashwood.

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Now Mr. Dashwood was a confirmed bachleor, and shared his house with his sister who managed everything for him. Both of them grew older, and Miss Dashwood died. Mr. Dashwood found himself alone and didn’t enjoy it. So he decided to invite his nephew, Mr. Henry Dashwood.

Now Henry is where things become a bit more complicated. Henry has two families.

keanu Whoa

Now I don’t mean that he was married to two women at the same time, this isn’t Sister Wives. And he wasn’t a conman either. He was a widower who remarried. This might not sound too complicated right now (I mean with how high the divorce rates are today, things are far more complicated,) but it does cause some legal issues I’ll get into later.)

So we have Mr. Dashwood’s first family. This includes his son John, horrible daughter-in-law Fanny,

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and awful grandson.

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I hate these people. Absolutely HATE THEM.

Hate YOu

But more on that later.

And his second family consists of the new Mrs. Dashwood, Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret.

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So here we are.

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John being older and married was the one that didn’t move into the family homestead. But he and his family visited all the time. The three girls however, joined Old Mr. Dashwood. They take good care of him and greatly amuse him in his old age.

Double double yay

Only one problem.

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Ugh

Ugh

One thing my drama director always told us:

“Never work with kids or animals. They’ll steal the show.”

It’s true. Kids and animals are too cute, and they don’t even try. They’ll do something that will cause all others to be overlooked.

And here it’s no different.

ouch Hermione

Yes, the little spoiled brat steals away all the love of his grandfather.

“…this child, who, in occasional visits with his father and mother at Norland, had so far gained the affections of his uncle. by such attractions as are by no means unusual in children of two or three years old, an imperfect articulation, an earnest desire of having his own way, many cunning tricks, and a great deal of noise, as to outweigh all the value of all the attention which, for years, he had received from his niece and her daughters.”

Duh!

Duh!

 

Yep, just another case of those who slaved and cared being pushed aside for something “cuter”.

Ugh

Ugh

So the old Mr. Dashwood dies. And leaves things unpleasant. He entails all his money and estate to his grandnephew.

Entailment!

Replace Rothbart with entailment

Replace Rothbart with entailment

Entailment sucks!!!!!!!

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Entailment was something that was done a lot in the 18th-20th centuries. All the money, property, the whole shebang was entailed to the next male heir. So this is good and bad. It means that Henry will have everything, but only for as long as he is alive. When he dies it will be passed on to John, and then to the kid. This means that the female Dashwoods will receive nothing. The old Mr. Dashwood gave them £1000, but that won’t be near enough for them to marry well.

ouch Hermione

So I’m sure you are wondering about Mr. Henry Dashwood. I mean he doesn’t have to entail his personal money. Or Mrs. Dashwood’s money. Right?

there's a chance

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 Well you’re half-right. He wouldn’t have to if he had any. Yep, you see Mr. Dashwood has no money.

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He had status and married wealthy. His first wife had a fortune!

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Unfortunately, she died.

Sadface Batman

And left all her money to her only child, John.

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When he remarries it’s for love and his second wife is poor. They have only £7000. (I’m not sure if that’s a year or what, but it’s not enough for taking care of his family long-term).

And then he hopes to get the inheritance, but winds up with basically nothing.

nightmare before christmas nothing turn out like it should

To rub salt further in the wound, John doesn’t even need the money. You see John not only has all that dough from his mom, but when he married he increased his net worth tenfold.

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Yep, he’s rolling in dough.

So the Dashwoods got the shaft.

nightmare before christmas nothing turn out like it should

But then Henry decides maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all. He is not an old man, he’s still has plenty of years left in him and he could start setting money aside to take care of his family. After all it’s not like he is going to die any day.

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For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to A Sense of Sense and Sensibility

For more on the Dashwood family, go to Opening With…

For more on how entailment sucks, go to Fantastic Fantasies

For more on Gone With the Wind, go to At the End of the Rainbow

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Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

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Day 17) Your Least Favorite Disney Classic

Mr. Toad

The Adventures of Mr. Toad

Now this film actually a double feature as it was paired with Sleepy Hollow. Now I remember liking it as a kid, but when I re-watched it like six years ago, I hated it. It was sooooo boring.

It is based on the book, A Wind in the Willows, of which I also remember loving as a kid, but I just can’t handle anymore as Toad is a horrible, stupid, brat.  So this is my least fav.

I do really love the ride though. I loved it as a kid and still do as I had to ride it when I was in Disneyland over Spring Break.

For more on Disney, go to That Darn Cat

For more films based on books, go to A Hidden Wonder

The Hunger Games: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

So the 1971 film, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is based on the beloved children’s novel Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Thew story is of a young, poor, low-income, starving, boy who is chosen to compete against four other children to not only win enough chocolate and candy for their lifetime, but also a grand, secret prize.  Very Interesting, I know, but you are probably wondering what does that have to do with The Hunger Games? A young girl from a starving district competing to the death against 23 others to win food for her family and community?

This:

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Now it is not exactly like The Hunger Games, Willy Wonka is a nice guy who really wants to help people, Charlie is the only poor, suffering guy, and you hate everyone else as they are whiny brats. But, there are some similarities. So now presenting the Hunger Games: The Chocolate Factory!

And it's going to be fabulous!

And it’s going to be fabulous!

So what’s different for this version is that we will have one tribute, from only five districts, all competing to survive Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. All who survive win chocolate, the ultimate winner gets the factory themselves, food and money for their families. Let the games begin!!!

District 1

District 1’s industry is making luxury items for the Capitol. It is considered to be the wealthiest district, the only other wealthier area being the Capitol itself.

Now presenting our tribute for district one

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Veruca Salt

Strengths:

  • Loud voice that causes immense pain
  • Very good at manipulating people and getting what she wants
  • Has people to do hard things for her
  • Doesn’t take no for an answer
  • Can cry on command
  • Isn’t afraid to lie or crush others to get what she wants
  • Questions everything

Weaknesses:

  • Is a spoiled brat
  • Won’t take no for an answer to the point where she knocks herself out
  • Whines all the time

Can Be Defeated:

  • By a kick in the pants
  • Saying NO! and meaning it
  • Boat Rides
  • Seasickness
  • Geese (Especially those who are golden)

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District 3

District 3’s primary industry is general electronics of many types, though it is known for also making various mechanical products such as automobiles and firearms. These tributes are always skilled with electronics.

Now presenting our tribute for district three

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Mike Teevee

Strengths:

  • Knows every TV show that has a gun in it (huge pop culture junkie)
  • Can use knowledge gained from TV in real life
  • Can sit still for hours
  • Questions everything
  • Can shoot a fake gun
  • Doesn’t scare or get grossed out easily
  • Willing to try new things
  • Eager volunteer

Weaknesses:

  • Is a spoiled brat
  • Can’t be away from the TV
  • Will try to shoot anything and everything
  • Missing front teeth
  • Can’t read
  • Sometimes overeagerness to try new things leaves him in bad situations
  • Doesn’t listen to rules

Can Be Defeated:

  • Bubble Foam
  • Saying NO! and meaning it
  • Books
  • By shrinking him

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District 6

District 6’s industry is transportation

Now presenting our tribute for district six

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Violet Beauragarde

Strengths:

  • Chewing gum champ
  • Can chew and talk
  • Rather chew than eat
  • Fast talker
  • Likes to save things
  • Will do whatever it takes to win, even if it means losing friends
  • Bossy
  • Head-strong and Obstinate
  • Does whatever she wants
  • Can wheel and deal like no other
  • Delights in pain of others

Weaknesses:

  • Is a spoiled brat
  • Hard to understand through constant chewing
  • A braggart
  • Doesn’t listen to “no”
  • Does whatever she wants
  • Picks her nose

Can Be Defeated:

  • Blueberries
  • The color blue or purple
  • Throwing away her three-month old gum
  • By rolling her

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District 9

District 9’s industry is grain. Little is known about this district, just that there are lots of farmland for grain.

Now presenting our tribute for district nine

AugGloopDistrict_9_Male

Augustus Gloop

Strengths:

  • Can eat ANYTHING
  • Never stops eating
  • Is one huge mass that won’t easily be pushed around
  • Fast runner when it comes to food
  • Likes to be first in everything

Weaknesses:

  • Is a spoiled brat
  • Has no patience
  • No self-control
  • Is always hungry
  • Can’t swim
  • Doesn’t like small spaces
  • Doesn’t listen

Can Be Defeated:

  • By not giving him food and having him starve
  • Drowning in water or chocolate
  • Sticking him in  tight spot, such as a pipe
  • Let him go first so he can face things and die

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District 12

District 12’s industry is coal. This district is one of the poorest districts. The district has not had a winner of the Hunger Games emerge from the ranks of its residents for over twenty-four years.

Now presenting our tribute for district twelve

Peeta-Mellark-charliebucket

Charlie Bucket

Strengths:

  • Has a heart of gold
  • Cares for others
  • Would never steal from someone
  • Always tries to help others out
  • Thinks first of others needs
  • Hard worker
  • Knows how to make things last
  • Can get by on little food
  • Trustworthy
  • Listens to directions

Weaknesses:

  • Is an enabler
  • Has a passion for fizzy-lifting drinks
  • Easily lead astray
  • Gulps food too fast

Can Be Defeated:

  • Fans

LET THE GAME BEGIN

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MAY THE ODDS EVER BE IN YOUR FAVOR!

If you liked this post, check out Sucky Sequels