Call Me, Maybe: Austentatious (2015)

Only one I’ll be calling is:

Or:

But no, we aren’t talking about that. We are instead talking about:

We are instead discussing-Austentatious (2015)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Yes, I really, really do not like this show or how they portray the characters. But I started it, so I’ve got to finish it.

So Austentatious is the story of Elinor, Marianne, Emma, Elizabeth, and Mr. Knightley being friends in modern times. In the last episode Marianne was trying to find a job, but kind of sucked although she did manage to be a smoothie barista.

Elizabeth’s family were trying to take family pictures but she was having a hard time picking something out.

I can’t decide

And Knightley goes over his disaster dates:

So on to today’s episode. It starts off with Knightly seeing Emma trying to thread a needle to sew back on her shirt and is dressed in gross sweats and her hair is crazy. What?! That’s so not Emma. She’s miserable but never would have her hair and clothes be so bleh-yuck. Proof:

Knightley came to meet with Emma for lunch, but it slipped her mind. Knightley threads the needle and then sews the button on the shirt for her. Wow, a man who can sew.

Wow

Elizabeth comes in to share about her awesome date with Andrew with Emma. Maybe it’s “Wickham”? After she shares that she leaves. Wait, why didn’t she just call or text like a normal person. Why come bug her at work?

Elinor and Marianne are fighting about dirty dishes and Marianne not cleaning. They both see a mouse in the apartment and freak out. Again what does this have to do with Jane Austen!

Ugh!

Elizabeth interrupts Elinor at work to share about her awesome date and the guy not calling back in two days. Again why doesn’t she call or text. You see we just spent the last few episodes with Elinor harping on and on about Marianne not working, but look at this.

She then goes to Marianne’s job and shares her fears about him not calling and then again I ask why doesn’t she call or text instead of bothering her friends while they are working. Why doesn’t she meet up with them after work. Why isn’t she at work?

Or plot!

Marianne tries to make her feel better by sharing about this time she dates-And NO stop!!!

This is so He’s Just Not that Into You. Like get it together Liz, he’s not interested. Don’t be harassing him or stuck on him. He’s totally a loser, I can feel it.

She then goes and bothers Emma.

Not again!

OMG like what is this?!!!! I really don’t like this. This has like zero to do with Jane Austen. Like why even make a show based on the characters of Jane Austen when it has nothing to do with it at all. It’s amazing when you compare this to The Lizzie Bennet Diaries and see how amazing that was with a modern adaptation that kept to the source material. Even Fall For You went on some other paths, but they kept the heart of the novels in there. What does any of this have to do with anything??!!

Ugh!

I am so bored….

Let’s just turn the TV off…

No we can’t do that? We have to finish? Fiiiiiiine, but I’m not happy…

So…Emma wants to help her friend and she ropes in Mr. Knightley to give them a man’s perspective. Knightley isn’t into it, but dude just tell her the guy’s not interested and leave, Problem solved.

Ugh!

Of course they probably won’t listen to you, so oh well. But at least you can say you tried.

Elinor gets home and finds things a super mess. Mold? Rat poop? Not quite sure. Oh she complains to the exterminator it must be mouse poop. Marianne wants to get a cat to get rid of the mouse. But Elinor says no. But Elinor, cats are awesome.

So the girls meet up on Elinor and Marianne’s apartment to have a girls night/mouse killing party.

Did I just write those words. Have I said I really don’t like this show. And it has only been like seven mins. It feels like hours. Ugh.

And speaking of mouse killing, the girls live upstairs, how did the mouse get up there? They should check with their neighbors, maybe it is a pet.

Oh?

So Emma, Elizabeth and Grant are sitting on the floor in a circle sharing. Why, when there are couches. I don’t know any 30+ people who do that unless they are playing with their children. I mean there is nothing wrong with it, but it looks really weird.

What’s the heck?

Elizabeth met Andrew at an open house and went to dinner. Knightly is being a total sarcastic dude, and good job writers, Very realistic.

Elizabeth flashes back and shares about her wonderful dinner.

Elinor finds trash in the couch. Okay I can believe under a couch or on the table but who throws trash-like banana peels and stuff in their couch that isn’t a four year old child. Like really?

And why do they have to make her dumb and like a five year old. She wasn’t like that in the book!

Omg this so boring.

Elizabeth is just going on about him smiling and staring at her mouth and really? Who wrote this? I’m over it I just want to be done. It is so boring and who says that-“he was staring at my mouth.” Like if some guy is staring at my mouth while having dinner, I would think I had food on my face not that he was intensely trying to imagine kissing me.

I feel like this is the bad discount version of Jane Austen. Like when you go to the Dollar Tree or 99 cent store and there is the discount version that is good, and then the discount, discount version with the weird name and logo and when you eat it it tastes like sawdust and you never forget and never buy it again. This is that.

Like Jane Austen has wonderful romantic scenes that gripped your heart and tension. Elizabeth watching Darcy during the card game in torment, Captain Wentworth’s letter, etc.; and here we have “staring at my mouth”. Woohoo!

Wow, real romantic!

They ask Knightley’s opinion and he’s like I don;t know I don’t know him. Mr. Knightley tries to give them a reality check, but they aren’t having it.

Mr. Knightley thinks it was just he wanted dinner while the girls are all he loves her! Knightley gives the girls the guy version. He says staring at mouth-probably had food in teeth (see-told ya!). Thinks looking at her smiling because farting or secretly getting the game scores on his phone.

Marianne leaves the girls night to go on a date, a date with “Willoughby?

Let’s get this train back on track!

So in this episode Emma is sarcastically calling Grant Mr. Knightley and all I can think is thank goodness because calling him Grant was dumb. George or Mr. Knightley-either one I will accept-but no Grant.

For the thousandth time

Mr. Knightley is back on roasting the date, telling Elizabeth “her date” probably touched her hand to keep her from sharing his dessert. Him saying he would call her, was probably just a brush off to get her to leave.

Ouch

Elinor says to stop freaking out and call him. I guess that is where the title comes from.

Phew!

Liz is going to call, but Grant stops her as he finds him “in a relationship”? How? On what? Facebook, Instagram? And how could he find him, I mean Andrew is a super popular name, Elizabeth never said his last name. Lazy writing, LAZY!

Grant is a total dude, happy to have won over the girls-he called it, but on the end he gives the cupcake to Lizzie and they all eat the “mouse cheese”. When they go to get crackers they find the mouse in there. They all run out and the exterminator comes in to kill it. As they wait in the hall they run into Collin and it turns out to be his mouse-(I point you to my earlier comment about the mouse probably being a pet)-little Lizzie. CREEPY!

And finally the episode is over and once again had zero to do with anything Jane Austen than the names and I once again question what were the writers thinking. I mean seriously! FOLLOW the PLOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t decide

And this is only episode 5.

Nooo

It’s never ending, never ending. I’ve fallen into the Twilight Zone. And I can’t get out.

For more Austentatious, go to Hit Me With Your Best Shot: Austentatious (2015)

For more Jane Austen film retellings, go to Mrs. Darcy Wants to Know the Truth!: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode Three (2013)

For more Sense & Sensibility, go to The Smart One and the Pretty One

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to I Wrote Mr. Darcy a Letter

For more Emma, go to Austen Avengers Assemble!

Clean Cup! Clean Cup! Move Down, Move Down, Move DOOOWWWNN!!!!!

So most people watch Disney films and they find a character they connect to. Disney princess:

Maybe an animal:

Now that Star Wars is in the Disney family it opens more choices:

 

Marvel characters…

But sadly no. Since living on my own, I have discovered that the Disney character I am most like is the Mad Hatter.

So first of all I’m not mad from Mercury poisoning.

*whew* I know you are all relieved to hear that. And no it isn’t how he dresses, although I love wearing hats.

It’s not even his love of tea-which I do share

It’s his mess of tea cups everywhere.

I’m a mess

 

The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it: ‘No room! No room!’ they cried out when they saw Alice coming. ‘There’s plenty of room!’ said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table…

‘And ever since that,’ the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, ‘he won’t do a thing I ask! It’s always six o’clock now.’

A bright idea came into Alice’s head. ‘Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?’ she asked.

‘Yes, that’s it,’ said the Hatter with a sigh: ‘it’s always tea-time, and we’ve no time to wash the things between whiles.’

‘Then you keep moving round, I suppose?’ said Alice.

‘Exactly so,’ said the Hatter: ‘as the things get used up.’

That’s my apartment. Now, I’m not saying that I’m a total slob, it’s just I’ve noticed that since living on my own 70% of my dishes are tea cups/mugs.

So as you can see-when it comes to dirty dishes 70% of them are tea cups/mugs. I also live in a very small apartment with a tiny sink, so as to not damage my cups/mugs they tend to line the counter next to the sink.

The real problem comes if I miss a day washing the dishes. Then oh no-it really looks like the Mad Hatter’s tea party.

How ’bout you all? Do you have this problem?

For more tea posts, go to Literary Tea Parties

For more Alice in Wonderland, go to It’s Always Tea Time

For more Lewis Carroll, go to Past is Past

May the 4th Be With You

Hey everyone! Even though today isn’t a “real” holiday you all know how I feel about that.

That’s right I celebrate it anyway. Star Wars stuff:

I even wore my Star Wars pins to work:

And spent the evening with my husband who also loves Star Wars.

Yep it was fun sharing the holiday with my love.

We watched A New Hope together and had a great time.

Yep:

Hope you all have a great day!

For more May the 4th posts, go to Why the Princess Leia Crown Hairdo is Awesome

For more Star Wars posts, go to Just Hold Me Tight: Star Wars Episode VI, Return of the Jedi (1983)

Just Hold Me Tight: Star Wars Episode VI, Return of the Jedi (1983)

Most Romantic Moment #13

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)

I love Star Wars so much!

Like I really, really love it!

True story!

So of course one of my romantic moments has to come from this, I mean seriously.

This is the last installment of the original film series. Han Solo was captured and the crew went to save him. Afterwards, Luke returns to training with Yoda while the others go back to the rebel base.

Luke has reached the end of his training and returns to his friends. They  all head to Endor so that they may use it to destroy the Death Star.

There Princess Leia, Han Solo, and the new friends they meet-the Ewoks, try to take down the Empire there. Luke leaves to head to the Death Star and confront the dark lord and the head of the empire-and his father, Darth Vader.

Will all work out well,  or will the dark side win?

Most Romantic Moment: Just Hold Me Tight

So Luke has to leave or else he will endanger the mission. He knows that Leia is his sister and the two have a moment where he shares about Darth Vader being his father and what he has to do. Han Solo comes along after Luke says his good-byes and is all jealous of Luke, especially when Leia can’t share with him what is on her heart.

He gets upset and blows up at her, but apologizes for his behavior. And then the real romantic moment comes. She asks him to hold her, and he does.

Aw!

He has no clue what is happening and going on, and is still upset that she can’t confide in him-most likely doubting whether she does really love him like she said-but he puts that all aside and just gives her the comfort she desires and needs at the moment-that’s super romantic and sweet.

To start Romance is in the Air: Part V, go to Who Says I Have to Stop: Fireproof (2008)

For the previous post, go to Love at First Bite: Trolls (2016)

For more Star Wars, go to Dad’s Day

For more Han Solo, go to You Put the Jedi in Pride & PreJEDIce

For more Princess Leia, go to Why the Princess Leia Crown Hairdo is Awesome

For more ’80s films, go to China is Here Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, The Wing Kong, They’ve Been Fighting for Centuries: Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Dad’s Day

starwarssondarthvader

I hope you all have a good father’s day. Remember it is dad’s day so be nice, even if you don’t agree with him on everything:

And most of all:

Happy Father’s Day!

For more Father’s Day posts, go to Dinner at Dad’s

For more Star Wars posts, go to You Put the Jedi in Pride & PreJEDIce

For more holiday posts, go to Don’t Fear the Reaper

Why the Princess Leia Crown Hairdo is Awesome

So of course we all know what today is:

Yes, May the Fourth or Star Wars Day. A day to fangirl or fanboy about Star Wars as much as you want.

A day to watch the films,

And just enjoy anything Star Wars.

You know that every year I wear as much Star Wars stuff as I can and do all kinds of Star Wars stuff throughout the day. In fact today, I made up a Star Wars book display at the library for May the 4th and to honor the release of a A Star Wars Episode IV: New Hope (May 25th).

And one thing I always do is rock the Princess Leia Crown Hairdo.

I know they aren’t as iconic as the Princess Leia Hair Buns, but trust me the Princess Leia Crown Hairdo is amazing, easy, fit for any occasion, and everyone can pull them off.

So this hairdo is worn in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.

It is really easy to do.

  1. Part hair in the middle.
  2. Braid hair into two braids on either side of your head, pigtail style.
  3. Take one braid and wound up your head, pinning it in place with bobby pins.
  4. Take the other braid and wound it up your head as well, meeting with the first braid.

For those who are visual, click here. Amazing, simple, and so easy! I don’t know about you, but this is how most of my mornings go:

But this is something that even I, the hairstyling challenged can do, is something that once you do your hair actually stays that way all day. It is fantastic if you are just hanging out, going to a fancy event, hiking, needing to stay cool in summer, going on a roller coaster, etc.

Wow!

And above all- you look and feel like a princess.

Regal, strong, confident, and powerful,

Well I hope you all enjoyed Star Wars day whatever you did or wore. And always:

For more on Star Wars, go to Black is Best

For more on May the 4th, go to This Day in History

For more on Princess Leia, go to Don’t Let My Size Fool You

For more on hair styling, go to Hair Do? Or Hair Don’t?

Don’t Let My Size Fool You

Ever hear don’t judge a book by its cover, it might surprise you? Well, I’m the same thing. Except for me its my size. I’m only 5’3 so people often think that I’m a weakling or need help.

FightMe5'3StarWars

But I’m a firecracker and a lot tougher than what you see at first glance.

littlefierce

Looks also don’t help as everyone thinks I’m 17 (or sadly sometimes younger).

babyfacehowoldareyou

But hey, even though the body looks like a baby, I have experience and intelligence in my brain that makes up for the lack of marks on my face or height.

thought you would be older

So don’t let my size fool you.

For more on being short, go to These Shoes Were Made for Walking

For more on being a baby face, go to Clothes Make the Woman

For more Princess Leia, go to A New Hope

For more on William Shakespeare, go to You’re Just Too Good Too Be True: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)