Somebody Help Me Please

It’s that time of the year again. You know what I’m talking about, the time of the year when all willpower goes out the window. The time of the year when it is impossible to stop, the addicting qualities are just too high. You know what I’m talking about…

jim_beam_its_time

braceyourselfggirlscoutcookies

Yep. Usually it can be bit of a trouble, trying to trek down a girl scout to purchase my faves from.

girlscoutcookies

This year one of the kids that comes to my work was selling them. When I saw the list I wanted to buy like every one of them.

buyoneboxofgirlscoutcookies

I could only buy two as they are exorbitantly expensive. $5 a box?

outrageous

But of course that’s not the real issue, now is it? Nope the real problem is not completely devouring every single cookies after you open the box.

girlscoutcookies

I tell myself not to, that I should resist; but I just can’t seem to stop.

No, stop! Alright.

No, stop! Alright.

Cookie after cookie just seem to be ending up in my mouth.

girlscoutcookiesbox

If only there was an easier way to work off fat. Then I could eat whatever I want.

readburncalories

But that’s not going to happen. As all my willpower goes out the window I am in desperate need of someone keeping me on track, of stopping me from constantly eating.

JingleAllTheWaycookie

But then I think of their deliciousness and I realize something:

timeisshort

So you know what, forget serving sizes! I’m going to eat what I want!

servingsizeeat

 I eat what I want!

dietntfatSabrina the teenage witch

I think I’m going to eat one right now in fact!

cookies

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

For more on Girl Scout Cookies, go to It’s That Time of the Year Again

For more on eating, go to Always There for You

Advertisements

A Baker’s Four Dozen

woman-cooking

So today I spent the day baking, baking Christmas Cookies!

cookies

The first were called Sand Tarts, which I got from my sister blog Mysterious Eats. They’re posting the recipe next Friday, but gave me a sneak peak. They look good, and seem tasty. You see I could only eat a little bit of each cookie as I’m still recovering from having my wisdom teeth extracted.

ouch Hermione

I was making a dozen for one of my jobs, as this Sunday is their annual Christmas Children’s Program.

19thc_christmas

After I made those I moved on to bake the Regency Ginger Cookies, also from mysteriouseats.wordpress.comfor a Christmas Cookie Party that I am planning on going to. Not only did I want to do them because I’m all about Jane Austen, but figured no one else will do that type of cookie.

janeaustenmiddle

So this morning as I prepared to make four dozen cookies (one for the kids and three for the Christmas Cookie party) I decided, hey I should bake in my pajamas, so I can be comfy.

sweatpantshoodiessexylazy

And then I thought I shouldn’t put on any makeup or do my hair either.

HairaMess

I mean after all I was going to get ingredients all over me, was probably going to make a huge mess I’d have to clean up anyway, etc. I mean why bother?

Majorly

Majorly

But it seems like no one else got the memo. I had people stopping by all day.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

No one ever visits me without calling first, except on the day that I am a super mess.

StoryOfMyLifeSomeLikeItHotMarilynMonroe

It was kind of funny as they looked at me with surprise and shock and how messy and grossly I was dressed.

What are you wearing?

What are you wearing?

But that’s how it goes. And now that I am done cooking, all I want to do is lay down.

i'mtired

I also sampled way too many cookies.

No, stop! Alright.

But hey, Christmas comes but once a year, so live it up!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

For more Christmas traditions, go to O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

For more Jane Austen Quotes, go to You’ve Got to Accentuate the Positive

For more stories of my everyday life, go to A Real Life Saver

christmas-flowers-banner

So I never believed in Santa Claus when I was a kid.

tim-allen-the-santa-clause-police-lineup

It’s not like I hate him or anything or want him gone forever. My parents told me that he lived years ago and died, so the Santa that exists today is more of a feeling than an actual person. But even though I wasn’t a Santa person, I still like a few Christmas Carols that involve him.

One of my favorites is Here Comes Santa Claus (Down Santa Claus Lane). I first sang it back when I was in Girl Scouts and we went into the nursing homes to carol.

It was written in the 1940s by Gene Autry, who got the idea after he was Santa Claus in a parade. Since then it has been covered by numerous artists; like Elvis Presley, Doris Day, and Bing Crosby to name a few.

My favorite version? The one from The Year Without a Santa Claus

christmas-flowers-banner

For more Christmas Carols, go to Hark the Herald Angels Sing

For more on The Year Without a Santa Claus, go to 25 More Films of Christmas

Keep Clear Of the Moor. Beware the Moon: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

an-american-werewolf-in-london-19811Keep clear of the moor. Beware the moon, lads.

This movie has been referenced in so many books and films that I had been dying to watch it. I wanted to see why everyone loved. So this past Friday the 13th, I decided to watch it and The Wolf Man (1941) as it was a full moon. But when I saw it, I found it was HORRIBLE!!!! One of the worst films ever!! On par with Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and The Beast of Yucca Flats

Mistake Great Gatsby

The main character, David, is so bland and hardly developed that I don’t even care if he becomes a werewolf or not. He also acts crazy all the freakin’ time. In The Wolf Man (1941), Larry thinks he’s crazy, realizes that he’s not, and then tries to stop turning into a werewolf and hurting others. David on the other hand seems to revel in the crazy, and doesn’t seem sad at all that his friend is dead as he is enjoying Nurse Price, etc. While The Wolf Man  is sad and tragic, this was just boring and…more boring.

Jerk

It took over an hour to see David turn! Over an hour! This movie is an hour and a half and I don’t want to have to sit through an hour of crazy David and naked David and have no werewolf!

I don't think so

This is like Godzilla (2014)!!!! If I’m watching a monster movie, I want to see that monster mentioned in the title! The Wolf Man (1941), has a wolf right away, as Bela is a werewolf, and then we see Larry turn at the half hour mark. That’s how its done people!!

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

They really should have changed the title of the film to David Naughton, My Naked Body, as that is really what this film is about. We see more nudity and sex than we do a werewolf, which is super disappointing.

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I felt like Dracula in Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf.

scooby-doo-and-the-reluctant-werewolf-

I started a M&M eating game. For every time David was naked I would eat an M&M. My stomach started hurting barely in.

shadowofadoubt unhappy

 I have to admit I am getting ahead of myself. Lets go back to the beginning and go through some of the issues.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

So for those of you who haven’t seen the film, Jack and David are Americans backpacking through Europe after they have just graduated from college. They are lost in the moors and come upon a pub called the Slaughtered Lamb.

I think the name is a message to steer away.

I think the name is a message to steer away.

[Side Note: the pub is based on a real one that was destroyed years ago. After the film, they opened one up in New York.]

So as the two are walking towards the pub, David tells Jack knock-knock jokes. And I kid you not, he doesn’t get them.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Like who doesn’t understand knock-knock jokes? I mean three-year old children understand that concept. How did Jack even graduate? And more importantly, why did they even include that in the film?

MeanGirls I know right!

And why would you ever enter a place called the Slaughtered Lamb? It just doesn’t sound like there will be anything good there. I’m with Jack on that one, you should’ve passed on it David.

Bad things happen when you don't listen

Bad things happen when you don’t listen

So they go into the Slaughtered Lamb, Jack sees a pentagram and candles on the wall and he begins telling David all kinds of trivia from The Wolf Man (1941).

AmericanWerewolfinLondon

The two end up getting kicked out of the pub and start wandering the moor, when a werewolf attacks.

wolfman-strangle

It attacks Jack and David takes off running.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

Yep he takes off. You horrible man, you let your friend die! How could you??!! He was trying to help you and when the wolf attacks him you just RUN OFF???!!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

So David ends up in the hospital with a “wolf” bite while Jack ends up in the morgue.

Your fault!

Your fault!

And that’s when Nurse Price enters the picture.

Ugh

Ugh. Hate her.

Nurse Price is crazy and a skank. Now I don’t like to call women that, but she plays with David’s junk to get him to eat! I’m serious!!!

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

She must have a thing for sick/crazy guys.

Plus she is just annoying in how she acts. Nurse Price calls Mark Twain Samuel Clemens when she is reading A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court I know that is his real name, but who actually goes around using it? NOBODY! Everyone calls him Mark Twain. And I know the director is trying to draw parallels between the stories, but no movie, no.

No thank you

The only similarity between the two is an American in Britain. NOTHING ELSE!

David doesn’t have the most fun in the hospital. He sees dead Jack and actually talk to him (weird scene). Jack tells David he is going to be a werewolf and he believes it. David is eventually allowed to check out as his bite is not serious. Nurse Price invites David back to her place and tells him she wants to be with him. She says “I don’t really bring strange men home…I’ve only been with seven men, of which three were one-night stands”

Girl Please

Sounds like you do bring strange men home since that is about half the men you’ve slept with, and David will make that four out of eight.

ew! Gross Yuck

All I can think is how many were people presumed to be crazy (as at this point she thinks David is just imbalanced as he says he is a werewolf)? I mean she’s like Sam Winchester over here. (She actually is as he slept with a werewolf. And a demon. Dated another demon, and was involved with some other monsters.)

Sam Winchester Werewolf

So as Nurse Price and David head back to her flat (apartment) they comment on how high the price of all food is. I’m like,

Girl Please

You paid like £5 for a bag of groceries. I wish food was that cheap.

Why? Why!

Why? Why!

Anyways so we have a second visit from Jack and to be honest, this film is more about the Leprechaun (1993)/Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time Zombie Ghost Jack, than it is about a werewolf.

scooby-doo-and-the-reluctant-werewolf-

The next day after Jack and Nurse Price had sex, she leaves for work and twin girls with a dog come upon Jack. The girls’ dog barks at him and they both laugh like crazy and walk off.

What the

What? I know they are trying to reference The Wolf Man (1941) how the dog can sense he is a wolf (Gwen’s fiance Frank, his dog does this). But what was up with the twin girls? Did they think after The Shinning (1980) that the only way to do a creepy film was to have weird twin girls?

Mal_huh

And are they honestly going to included every song that uses the word moon? We’ve already had Blue Moon and Bad Moon Rising, I am now half-expecting Moon River to be played next.

Ugh great gatsby

And we get the cliche #56,  “person pretends in the mirror to be the monster they later turn into”.

Ugh

Ugh

So we switch to the hospital and get a second round of this bratty little boy who says no all the time (he was in the first hospital scene). He’s even more annoying the second time around that I am actually hoping he does get eaten.

Die, die, die!

Die, die, die!

The transformation scene was okay.

an-american-werewolf-in-london-banner-poster

So the next day David wakes up in the zoo naked with the wolves. Now that doesn’t make much sense to me, if you are a wild werewolf, why would you go put yourself in a cage? You’re free! It would make way more sense if he woke up in the park instead.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

So David tries to get arrested, “to protect others”, and that was kind of funny because the bobby (cop) won’t consider it until he starts insulting the Queen, Winston Churchill, and Shakespeare. But he is so rude to nurse Price. Telling her to shut up and leave him alone:

jerk_alert32

He then tells Nurse Price he loves her, and she’s like woah Ted Moseby, slow down. I Love You? Really after one night? Woah, you don’t even know her. Besides she’s crazy. You don’t want to date crazy.

David then runs off to call his family and tell them he cares about them before he kills himself, but can only reach his 10-year old sister as everyone else is out. All I can think is, 1) David was attacked by a werewolf  or “wolf” as the doctors are calling it and 2) his best friend has been killed! How are his parents not in London right now trying to see if he’s okay? Their son could have been killed!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

So David tries to kill himself but can’t go through with it. Now all I can think is, haven’t you seen The Wolf Man (1941), I mean I assume you did as you were telling the nurse about it. Well don’t you remember, a werewolf can only be killed by silver? Slitting your wrists doesn’t work.

ouch Hermione

So stupid

So after that David sees Jack outside a porno film movie house and goes in after him. All I can think is, you’re worried about killing people and you go see a porno? Really?

sort priorities Harry Potter

And don’t give me, that’s where zombie Jack was at and he needed to speak to him. Before that we saw that Jack came to David wherever he went (hospital, Nurse Price’s flat, etc); he could find himself a quiet place and Jack would totally follow him there.

Girl Please

Plus what us up with the film they are watching? A guy and girl are getting it on and a second guy comes marching in the room yelling “You promised you wouldn’t do this again!” The first guy says “No, I didn’t.” The second guy answers, “I’m talking to her.” The women replies, “I don’t know you.” The second guy gets really embarrassed, says “Oh”, and leaves.

SayWhat?

What the heck was the point of that? And immediately after, Jack says “great movie”. I know you are super horny Jack, but no, no, no, no ,no, no, no, no. That is horrible, horrible, horrible.

facepalm Star trek

After this I couldn’t stomach anymore. It wasn’t scary. There was barely an werewolf. It was pretty much a huge mess. I’ll take The Wolf Man (1941) any day.

No no no no no

No no no no no

And here I will leave with more werewolf than we see in the film.

1981-An-American-Werewolf-In-Londonhalloween banner

To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to You Will Die in Seven Days

halloween banner

For more on An American Werewolf in London, go to Pink Elephants

For more on werewolves, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Within

For more on Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf, go to A Monster Race

For more modern remakes, go to Let Them Fight

For more on monsters, go to What Is This Thing?

For more on Supernatural, go to Happily Ever Aftermath

For more on How I Met Your Mother, go to I’ll Be Back

From the Sea Burning Like Fire:The Giant Behemoth (1959)

From the sea… burning, like fire!…Behemoth!

I love this movie! This is actually what I call my stomach when I’ve eaten too much, “The Behemoth”, I cry out. “Behemoth!”

I was thinking of this movie the other day because I was wearing jeggings, an oversized sweater, and my rainboots. My hair was put up, and I thought to myself, “I look just like the Leigh Madison in The Giant Behemoth“!

I think she looks a little like Jane Powell. Don’t you?

This movie starts out with tons of fish washing up on the shores of England. They are all destroyed by some kind of radiation. A fisherman is also ravaged by it.

He also happen’s to be Leigh Madison’s character Jean Trevethan’s father. When they ask him what happened, he replies

“John: What happened, man? Can – Can you talk to us? Can you hear us, Tom?
Jean Trevethan: Dad? Dad?
Tom Trevethan: From the sea… burning, like fire!
John: What was it?
Tom Trevethan: Behemoth!”

A paleontologist is trying to figure out what the beast is and how it could have awakened. His ends up declaring it is a plesiosaurs, much like the Loch Ness Monster. Even though it looks more like a Brontosaurus.

So Dr. Sampson Karnes, the paleontologist, and his son Steve determine that the creature must have been awakened by all the atomic bombs and radiation (like Godzilla).

Everything they try to do to defeat him fails to work. He can’t be stopped! The Behemoth is destroying everything! Will he destroy the whole world?

You’ve got to check it out for yourself! I love this film!

That’s it for tonight! More to come! 6 Days ’till Halloween!

Here’s poster I made for my cover page on facebook in honor or Halloween. Hope ya love it.

giantBehemoth

halloween banner

To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

To go to the previous film, go to I Want Friend Like Me

halloween banner

For more on awakening a monster, go to Let Them Fight

For more on paleontologists, go to Life Finds A Way

For more monster movies, go to A Monster Race