A Bump in the Night

One of the scariest things that can happen is when you hear strange noises and are home alone.

i'mscared

So this past weekend I was home alone with my three pets. I was just chilling, watching TV when all of a sudden I heard “Bump, bump, bump.”Almost as if someone was knocking on the windows.

Whattheheck

I looked around but couldn’t find anything.

IT MAKES NO SENSE

Strange.

So I decided to ignore it.

Whatever.jpg cheese fries

So I continued watching TV and I heard the banging again.

I'm scared!

I’m scared!

So I decided it must be one of the dogs, maybe he got stuck in one of the rooms. I called him, but it turned out he was hiding in the top cushions of the couch next to me.

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

Okay I’m not going to lie, one of the scariest things is when you are home alone and you hear strange noises. I started to worry that it might be somebody trying to get into the house.

Oh Crap!

Oh Crap!

So I looked around the house and outside, but I couldn’t find anything.

i'mscared

And the bang, bang, bang continued…

what what'shappeningSupernatural

So I’m not going to lie, being a fan of Supernatural, my mind did go there.

supernatural supernatural

I decided that it was time to look around outside and see what was the cause of this noise.

Every time!

Yes I know horror films, I know that usually meet disaster, but I decided I needed some proof before I called for help. So I armed myself and headed out.

supernaturalgundeanwinchester

I don’t actually own a gun so I brought out a bat instead.

And was ready to meet anything out there.

That’s right, you don’t want to mess with me.

Don't mess with me!

Don’t mess with me!

I went out and found…………………………………………………………..

*GASP*

OMG gasp

IT WAS A…..

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Bird.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Yes a little bird had flown in the open door that lead to our indoor pool. It had gotten stuck and was trying to find a way out. Every now and then it would stop and rest on the wooden beams, which was the same color and hid it from view. That’s why I couldn’t find it when it stopped banging on the windows in its attempts to get out.

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It took about an hour, but I managed to free it from the room and release it back into the wild. Yep, mission accomplished.

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For more Supernatural, go to Back in Black

For more events from my everyday life, go to Death By an Alarming Rate

Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?: The Twilight Zone (1961)

TwilightzoneRealmartianpleasestandup

She’s just like a science fiction, that’s what she is! A reg’lar Ray Bradbury! Six humans and one monster from outer space. You wouldn’t happen to have an eye in the back of your head, would you?

So yes, yes yes. I have finally gotten around to review a Twilight Zone episode. This has to be one of my favorite TV shows of all time, one of the biggest part of my childhood.

So for those of you who have never seen it, The Twilight Zone was a TV series that ran from 1959-1964. Every episode was its unique story and they all had to do with the supernatural unusual, strange, alien, etc. It was a great show.

At the beginning of every episode, Rod Serling would do an introduction, and at the end wrap it up with a concluding thoughts or moral.

To be perfectly honest, I love him so much I wouldn't care if he did pop up like that.

It was a fantastic show, and Rod Serling actually wrote most of seasons 1-3, leveling off on seasons 4-5.

So while this isn’t the spookiest, creepiest, or most traumatizing episode in the series, it is my absolute favorite, so I decided to review it.

We open on two state troopers. They are out in the snow looking for a UFO.

Say What

Yes, they were called by a woman who said she heard, something overhead. When they went out to look, they find that something crashed into the nearby pond.

thethingfromanotherworldintheice

And footprints coming out of the ice and ship, leading to a nearby diner. A diner that has a bus parked in front of it.

Enter Rod Serling:

Wintry February night, the present. Order of events: a phone call from a frightened woman notating the arrival of an unidentified flying object, then the checkout you’ve just witnessed, with two state troopers verifying the event – but with nothing more enlightening to add beyond evidence of some tracks leading across the highway to a diner. You’ve heard of trying to find a needle in a haystack?

TwilightzoneRealmartianpleasestandup

 So in the next scene we have the troopers heading into the cute little diner.

cafeTwilightzoneRealmartianpleasestandup

When they get inside everyone looks normal.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Who is the Alien????

whatdoyouthinkTwilightzoneRealmartianpleasestandup

The troopers tell everyone they have to remain in the cafe. The bridge to go on has been declared unfit for the time being, as the ice storm has weakened it. And they need to find an alien.

Say What

They ask Olmstead the bus driver about a passenger manifest, but he says he doesn’t have one. The bus is old, business is bad, and they don’t care about names they just want what little money they can eke out.

Idon'tcareanymoreDeanWinchesterSupernatural

The head trooper, Dan Padgett, asks Olmstead how many passengers were there on the bus? Olmstead tells him six.

But wait...

But wait…

There are seven people, not counting the bus driver and the cafe owner. SEVEN!

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Now Ross, one of the passengers on a hurry to reach Boston, thinks the bus driver is just mistaken. The troopers ask, but no. Olmstead is 100% sure, he counted before they left. There is an extra person in the cafe.

OMG

The troops want to be sure that they aren’t overacting, so they ask Haley if anyone was in here before. But Haley and Olmstead confirm there wasn’t anyone here until they came. Someone must have sneaked in with the group.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now the easy thing to do in order to figure out who the alien is, is pick out which of the seven the passengers and bus driver don’t recognize.

tellyouthetruthidon'tknowTwilightzoneRealmartianpleasestandup

The snow was coming down so hard, everyone bordered the bus as quickly as possible. The bus driver counted, and then they headed for Boston. They decided to stop at the diner, and with the snow still falling down like crazy, no one really remembers seeing anyone.

idontrememberseeingyouTwilightzoneRealmartianpleasestandup

So now we have a perfect setup for an amazing episode. Like Night of the Living Dead, tensions start rising and everyone begins turning on each other.

whatdoyouthinkTwilightzoneRealmartianpleasestandup

So which one could it be? Which of the seven passengers is not human?

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1. Ethel McConnell

thetwilightzone

Ethel McConnell is a dancer going to Boston. When asked for ID, she says she doesn’t have it. It was sent on ahead. Now the bus driver says she was the only one he noticed, as she is hot, but is he just saying that because he thinks speaking up for her might win her over?

New plan

She does point out one interesting fact. The best thing to do is cross off the couples.  As they were together most of the, they are less likely the alien.

Is it Her?

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2 & 3. George and Connie Price

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George and Connie are newlyweds heading to Boston. George says that they are in the clear as they are a couple, but it’s too late. Tensions are starting to rise and doubt is creeping in.

[Connie looking at George intently, studying his face]

George: What are you doing.

Connie: I…I thought you had a mole on your chin.

George: I’ve never had a mole.

Is it One of Them?

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4 & 5. Rose and Peter Kramer

thetwilightzone

They are a married couple, and also believe they should be exonerated. But they too are suffering from doubt and fear.

Peter Kramer: We’re all going to get so panicky that everyone and his brother will start picking up invisible clues from everybody else. 

Rose Kramer: It’s completely ridiculous for a husband and wife to question whether the husband is really the husband and the wife is really…[starts staring intently at her husband Peter]

Peter Kramer: I think twenty-three years is long enough for a wife to know who her husband is.

Is it One of Them?

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6. Avery

idontrememberseeingyouTwilightzoneRealmartianpleasestandup

Now Avery just looks crazy and inhuman. Every time he speaks he either is joking or pointing fingers as to who could be the alien.  In fact the troopers suspect him more than anyone else. They interrogate him, asking about baseball, of which he knows everything.

Avery: Didn’t figure us Martians would know nothin’ about the great American pastime, did ya?

Is it Him?

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7. Ross

twilightzone

Ross is in a hurry to get to Boston for business. He is grumpy, rude, and trying to get the show on the road. The whole time he has been pushing and pushing to get out of the cafe and away from the area, saying that the hunt for an alien is stupid.

Is it Him?

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While they are questioning the passangers, all of a sudden the jukebox starts playing, even though no one is over there.

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

And then the lights start flickering.

You know what that means. Someones coming after you.

weird

They are all freaked out when the phone rings.

LOL Cotton and Cotton

The trooper listens, and when it is over he tells everyone that it was the county engineer, the bridge has been cleared. They don’t want to release the group without figuring which was the alien, but have no real way of being able to keep them.

Olmstead doesn’t want to go, as he feels the bridge is unsafe, but what the heck. Let’s go. So they all settle their accounts and everyone leaves with us not knowing who the alien is.

TheEnd_Title_2

Not too long after, someone comes back into the cafe.

cafeTwilightzoneRealmartianpleasestandup

It is the passenger, Ross.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

What is he doing back here? Haley starts questioning what happened, when Ross tells him everyone died. The bridge wasn’t safe at all. It was all an illusion; like the jukebox, lights, and phone.

twilightzonecafe

JamaicaInnItwasYou

Ross is the alien!

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Yes Ross is a Martian and he has been sent ahead to check out the area. In fact, his friends should be there soon to start the colony. Haley is surprised, to say the least.

But wait...

But wait…

That’s not all,

Screen shot 2015-10-09 at 2.13.42 PM

Screen shot 2015-10-09 at 2.13.51 PM

What a twist, what an ending!

Narrator: Incident on a small island, to be believed or disbelieved. However, if a sour-faced dandy named Ross or a big, good-natured counterman who handles a spatula as if he’d been born with one in his mouth, – if either of these two entities walk onto your premises, you’d better hold their hands – all three of them – or check the color of their eyes – all three of them. The gentlemen in question might try to pull you into – The Twilight Zone.

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to Monster Mash

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For more on The Twilight Zone, go to A Trip to the Mall Turns Into the Twilight Zone

For more on aliens, go to Its Mrs. Archer. She’s on a Rampage!: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

Don’t You Forget About Me

30 years ago, one of the best movies was released:

BreakfastClub

Yep this baby.

Breakfast club

Now I know you all are thinking, but it says March 24, 1984. That’s the time in the movie, the film was actually released February 15, 1985.

This film was written by John Hughes in just two days and completely shot in sequence. What also is really interesting about this film is that Hughes actually allowed a lot of ab-libbing in the film. Such as Brian’s reason for a fake ID- “so I can vote”; the whole scene when they are in a circle sharing their feelings; and even the fist in the air by Judd Nelson at the end of the film. Now that last scene is extremely iconic, just like the song “Don’t You Forget About Me”. This song was especially written for the film and was turned down by a quite a few artists, like Billy Idol, to finally be performed by Simple Mind. Of course it became a huge hit for the band and is covered by millions, including Billy Idol. I guess he changed his mind.

So some of you many not be aware of the story, so here is a brief recap.

Five very different students have been sentenced with detention. We have Allison Reynolds (Ally Sheedy), “the basket case” who just came for fun; Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez), “the athlete”, who received detention for bullying a kid; John Bender (Judd Nelson), “the criminal”, sent there because of his acting up;  Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald), “the princess”, caught skipping school to go shopping; and Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall), “the brain”, who brought a flare gun to school.

breakfast club

In the beginning everyone abides by their cliques, Claire and Andrew sit together as they are on the highest level of the totem pole, while the rest sit by themselves. At first they keep their distance and Bender riles everyone, but through the course of the day they all bond together sharing their most personal secrets and working out their dysfunctions.

Allison feels ignored and therefore is a compulsive liar and a klepto, seeking out attention. Andrew hates his overbearing father who is always pressuring him. That is one of the reasons why he was bullying another kid, his father said he wasn’t being manly enough. Bender is abused by his father and ignored the rest of the time. Claire feels confined by the role she is in, as everyone sees her a certain way when in reality she has hardly ever dated and is a virgin. Brian feels so pressured by his family to be perfect and get into a good college, that he contemplated suicide over getting a bad grade in woodshop. Through these discussions, everyone feels much better and is much happier. But at the same time they feel sad and scared that once they are back in school Monday they will no longer be friends and things will continue as they have before.

Before the day ends, they hook up the sound system and have a big dance. Claire and Bender pair up and so do Allison and Andrew. Poor Brian gets stuck writing their detention assignment.

In the end Claire gives Bender one of her diamond earrings so they’ll never forget that moment. Allison steals Andrew’s Captain letter and the two kiss, while Brian gets nothing (poor nerdy guy). And the film ends with Bender’s triumphant arm thrust and Simple Mind’s Don’t You Forget About Me playing in the background.

Breakfast Club

Now I love this movie. Like freaking love it.

love it

And watch it over and over.

watch movie over and over

I mean how could you not love it and the messages it covers? First of all you see that labels are nothing, just things we create ourselves to make us feel accepted, when in fact there is a little of everything in all of us.

We all have insecurities:
anthony-michael-hall-brian-insecure-quotes-the breakfast club see myself don't like what i see insecure body image
And that we all are strange. Nobody’s perfect or has it all together.
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Yep, I just love this film.
In fact, I am such a fangirl over it that in one of my college courses, a group of us became such great friends and were all so different, yet the same, that we named our collective “The Breakfast Club”. Yep, my fangirl was showing.
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So of course being a huge fan, when I saw a quiz to see which character I was, I had to take it. And I got:
To see who you are, click here.

To see who you are, click here.

Now this surprised me as I would have thought I’d get the Basket Case, Brain, or Athlete before I ever got the Criminal. But, and you guys will laugh at this, a few weeks ago (and right after I took this quiz) I was watching this film with four other friends. We started teasing my friend Gabe that he was Brian the Brain. He started joking that our friend Stephanie was Allison the Basket Case. Then we all started pairing up people and characters. Laurence did sports so he became Andrew the Athlete. And even though Jack was a boy, we decided he was Claire the Princess, or Prince in his case. And that made me Bender the Criminal. In fact, that night I was wearing a plaid shirt, jeans, and black boots; not the exact ones Bender wears, but pretty darn close. Now whenever I see Jack, I always joke around that he’s my girlfriend, or woman as I feel Bender would say.

So this is one fantastic film that I strongly suggest you view. If you’ve never seen it, get a copy and do so as soon as possible. If you have, another thousand viewings is what I recommend. 🙂

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For more on The Breakfast Club, go to I Can See Your Beauty: The Breakfast Club (1985)

For more on Judd Nelson, go to I’m Going Down the Tubes: Making the Grade (1984)

For more about the ’80s, go to In Love With the ’80s (Pink Tux to the Prom)

For more quizzes, go to Shall We Dance?: What Happens in Vegas (2008)

Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf: Boy Meets World (1994)

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Eric, what you’re about to see may shock you.

This is an awesome Halloween episode as it parodies The Wolf Man (1941). 

It’s dark and stormy Halloween night and Cory sits at his desk writing a letter. Shawn comes in and asks him what he is doing. That’s when Cory announces he is a werewolf!

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Shawn doesn’t believe him, and Cory does a flashback to tell him what happened and what brought him to this conclusion.

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So the day before, October 30th, Cory was going outside to throw away his trash, when he notices that Mr. Feeny is putting his trash inside the house. Cory thinks that is strange and asks him why he’s doing that. Mr. Feeny tells him how a wolf has escaped from the Zoo, and he is prowling around the area. Cory is shocked! After Feeny leaves, Cory is putting the trash away when he hears something in the bushes. It attacks him!!!

attack Wolf Boy Meets World

The next day he feels really strange. He has strange urges with food. He has hair everywhere!!!

“Cory Matthews: Eric, what you’re about to see may shock you.

Eric Matthews: Then put a towel on.

Cory Matthews: Okay, look! [comes out with his arms thrown in the air, completely normal]

Eric Matthews: Oh, my God! I don’t see anything at all!”

But even though everyone tells him its just puberty and that he isn’t a werewolf, Cory is not convinced. Eric plays along with it as he finds it hilarious.

“Eric: I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but you might be turning into… a werewolf.”

Cory is really upset. At lunch he goes off campus to a yogurt shop and finds himself wanting to eat strange things…things like blood and guts!

Boy Meets World Yogurt Wolf

The blood is actually strawberry yogurt, and the guts are actually chocolate. While there Cory hears the report on the news about the wolf and freaks out, asking the yogurt worker if werewolves are real or not. He tells them that anything could be possible and that Cory should visit his mother, “Madame Ouspenskaya”.

Madame Ouspenskaya is a “gypsy-fortune teller”, that presides in the back room of the yogurt shop. And she not a very good gypsy, but she manages to hit the nail on the head about Cory. As he gives her more and more money to know about his future, she reveals three things that will happen before he fully transforms into a werewolf.

Wolf Man 1941 5

 

  1. He will develop a taste for strange things.
  2. The pentagram will appear on his palm
  3. And he will kill the girl who cares for him (9:00).

Cory thinks that he will be okay as no girl cares for him, so he won’t have to worry about a full transformation, and tells her so. She tells him that she is the real deal and that he’s over 20 minutes late to class.

When he gets to class, Shawn wants to know what’s up with him. Cory tries to tell him, but Mr. Turner is upset with his tardiness. He tries writing a note to Shawn but Mr. Turner gets angry at him and asks for the paper. Instead of giving it up, Cory stuffs it in his mouth as he doesn’t want Mr. Turner to find it. That’s when he realizes, it’s the first sign.

OMG

  1. He will develop a taste for strange things.

Cory becomes really worried and freaked out. He is acting so strange that Mr. Turner asks him to stay after class. He tries to get Cory to open up, but Cory is too freaked. As they are talking, Cory accidentally picks up Mr. Turner’s keys. That’s when he notices the pentagon keychain in the palm of his hand!!!

OMG

2. The pentagram will appear on his palm. (Cory thinks a pentagon it is the same thing as a pentagram.)

Afterwards he is freaking out some more. But then he realizes, he doesn’t have any girl that cares for him!! That means he is saved. He’ll be fine!

Double double yay

As Cory is celebrating Topanga goes over to ask Cory what’s up with him. She tells him she cares for him and will listen to his problems.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Someone cares for him, that means is going to be a WEREWOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Topanga tries to reassure him that she doesn’t “like” him that way, she is just a friend, but it’s too late. Cory believes his fate is sealed. He is going to turn into a werewolf and kill Topanga. Which brings us back to the present.

“Cory Matthews: [writing a letter] So I hope that you will all forgive me, so that I now can escape my destiny. Fondly, Cory A.O. Matthews.

Shawn Hunter: What does A.O. stand for?

Cory Matthews: Ah-ooh.”

He makes Shawn promise to take care of Topanga and take him for walks and stuff.

The_Wolf_Man_4Crying sad

Topanga comes over anyways, and Cory tries to get rid of her but it doesn’t work.

Topanga Lawrence: Cory, get a grip. We’re only going to a Halloween party.

Cory Matthews: Yeah, that’s how it starts! Then we get married, have kids, and I eat them!”

To make things worse, Topanga is dressed like a damsel in distress:

BMW Topanga Damsel in distress not distress

He tries to get Topanga to go, but  she refuses. Instead she waits with him and it reaches 9:00 Full Moon!

dun-dun-duuuun

And nothing happens. Nothing at all. It’s just Cory and Topanga

Finally something GOOD!

Finally something GOOD!

Cory is so happy that he kisses Topanga!

BMW Kiss

The next day, Cory finds out that there was no wolf anywhere, it’s been in the Zoo the whole time. Which begs the question…Who bit Cory?

Sound suspicious

Sound suspicious

It turns out it was just a rabbit. No wolf, just a lil’ ol’ rabbit. But hey Cory, those can be extremely dangerous! Haven’t you ever read Bunnicula?

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to All I Know About Trilogies is That in the Third One, All Bets are Off

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For more on Boy Meets World, go to Here I Go

For more on werewolves, go to Keep Clear of the Moor. Beware the Moon

For more horror parodies, go to Tuesday the 17th

For more on gypsies, go to Oh Oh De Lally

For more on Disney, go to I Will Only Answer to the Name of Oommmooooowwwwo!

Keep Clear Of the Moor. Beware the Moon: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

an-american-werewolf-in-london-19811Keep clear of the moor. Beware the moon, lads.

This movie has been referenced in so many books and films that I had been dying to watch it. I wanted to see why everyone loved. So this past Friday the 13th, I decided to watch it and The Wolf Man (1941) as it was a full moon. But when I saw it, I found it was HORRIBLE!!!! One of the worst films ever!! On par with Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and The Beast of Yucca Flats

Mistake Great Gatsby

The main character, David, is so bland and hardly developed that I don’t even care if he becomes a werewolf or not. He also acts crazy all the freakin’ time. In The Wolf Man (1941), Larry thinks he’s crazy, realizes that he’s not, and then tries to stop turning into a werewolf and hurting others. David on the other hand seems to revel in the crazy, and doesn’t seem sad at all that his friend is dead as he is enjoying Nurse Price, etc. While The Wolf Man  is sad and tragic, this was just boring and…more boring.

Jerk

It took over an hour to see David turn! Over an hour! This movie is an hour and a half and I don’t want to have to sit through an hour of crazy David and naked David and have no werewolf!

I don't think so

This is like Godzilla (2014)!!!! If I’m watching a monster movie, I want to see that monster mentioned in the title! The Wolf Man (1941), has a wolf right away, as Bela is a werewolf, and then we see Larry turn at the half hour mark. That’s how its done people!!

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

They really should have changed the title of the film to David Naughton, My Naked Body, as that is really what this film is about. We see more nudity and sex than we do a werewolf, which is super disappointing.

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I felt like Dracula in Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf.

scooby-doo-and-the-reluctant-werewolf-

I started a M&M eating game. For every time David was naked I would eat an M&M. My stomach started hurting barely in.

shadowofadoubt unhappy

 I have to admit I am getting ahead of myself. Lets go back to the beginning and go through some of the issues.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

So for those of you who haven’t seen the film, Jack and David are Americans backpacking through Europe after they have just graduated from college. They are lost in the moors and come upon a pub called the Slaughtered Lamb.

I think the name is a message to steer away.

I think the name is a message to steer away.

[Side Note: the pub is based on a real one that was destroyed years ago. After the film, they opened one up in New York.]

So as the two are walking towards the pub, David tells Jack knock-knock jokes. And I kid you not, he doesn’t get them.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Like who doesn’t understand knock-knock jokes? I mean three-year old children understand that concept. How did Jack even graduate? And more importantly, why did they even include that in the film?

MeanGirls I know right!

And why would you ever enter a place called the Slaughtered Lamb? It just doesn’t sound like there will be anything good there. I’m with Jack on that one, you should’ve passed on it David.

Bad things happen when you don't listen

Bad things happen when you don’t listen

So they go into the Slaughtered Lamb, Jack sees a pentagram and candles on the wall and he begins telling David all kinds of trivia from The Wolf Man (1941).

AmericanWerewolfinLondon

The two end up getting kicked out of the pub and start wandering the moor, when a werewolf attacks.

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It attacks Jack and David takes off running.

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Yep he takes off. You horrible man, you let your friend die! How could you??!! He was trying to help you and when the wolf attacks him you just RUN OFF???!!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

So David ends up in the hospital with a “wolf” bite while Jack ends up in the morgue.

Your fault!

Your fault!

And that’s when Nurse Price enters the picture.

Ugh

Ugh. Hate her.

Nurse Price is crazy and a skank. Now I don’t like to call women that, but she plays with David’s junk to get him to eat! I’m serious!!!

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

She must have a thing for sick/crazy guys.

Plus she is just annoying in how she acts. Nurse Price calls Mark Twain Samuel Clemens when she is reading A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court I know that is his real name, but who actually goes around using it? NOBODY! Everyone calls him Mark Twain. And I know the director is trying to draw parallels between the stories, but no movie, no.

No thank you

The only similarity between the two is an American in Britain. NOTHING ELSE!

David doesn’t have the most fun in the hospital. He sees dead Jack and actually talk to him (weird scene). Jack tells David he is going to be a werewolf and he believes it. David is eventually allowed to check out as his bite is not serious. Nurse Price invites David back to her place and tells him she wants to be with him. She says “I don’t really bring strange men home…I’ve only been with seven men, of which three were one-night stands”

Girl Please

Sounds like you do bring strange men home since that is about half the men you’ve slept with, and David will make that four out of eight.

ew! Gross Yuck

All I can think is how many were people presumed to be crazy (as at this point she thinks David is just imbalanced as he says he is a werewolf)? I mean she’s like Sam Winchester over here. (She actually is as he slept with a werewolf. And a demon. Dated another demon, and was involved with some other monsters.)

Sam Winchester Werewolf

So as Nurse Price and David head back to her flat (apartment) they comment on how high the price of all food is. I’m like,

Girl Please

You paid like £5 for a bag of groceries. I wish food was that cheap.

Why? Why!

Why? Why!

Anyways so we have a second visit from Jack and to be honest, this film is more about the Leprechaun (1993)/Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time Zombie Ghost Jack, than it is about a werewolf.

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The next day after Jack and Nurse Price had sex, she leaves for work and twin girls with a dog come upon Jack. The girls’ dog barks at him and they both laugh like crazy and walk off.

What the

What? I know they are trying to reference The Wolf Man (1941) how the dog can sense he is a wolf (Gwen’s fiance Frank, his dog does this). But what was up with the twin girls? Did they think after The Shinning (1980) that the only way to do a creepy film was to have weird twin girls?

Mal_huh

And are they honestly going to included every song that uses the word moon? We’ve already had Blue Moon and Bad Moon Rising, I am now half-expecting Moon River to be played next.

Ugh great gatsby

And we get the cliche #56,  “person pretends in the mirror to be the monster they later turn into”.

Ugh

Ugh

So we switch to the hospital and get a second round of this bratty little boy who says no all the time (he was in the first hospital scene). He’s even more annoying the second time around that I am actually hoping he does get eaten.

Die, die, die!

Die, die, die!

The transformation scene was okay.

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So the next day David wakes up in the zoo naked with the wolves. Now that doesn’t make much sense to me, if you are a wild werewolf, why would you go put yourself in a cage? You’re free! It would make way more sense if he woke up in the park instead.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

So David tries to get arrested, “to protect others”, and that was kind of funny because the bobby (cop) won’t consider it until he starts insulting the Queen, Winston Churchill, and Shakespeare. But he is so rude to nurse Price. Telling her to shut up and leave him alone:

jerk_alert32

He then tells Nurse Price he loves her, and she’s like woah Ted Moseby, slow down. I Love You? Really after one night? Woah, you don’t even know her. Besides she’s crazy. You don’t want to date crazy.

David then runs off to call his family and tell them he cares about them before he kills himself, but can only reach his 10-year old sister as everyone else is out. All I can think is, 1) David was attacked by a werewolf  or “wolf” as the doctors are calling it and 2) his best friend has been killed! How are his parents not in London right now trying to see if he’s okay? Their son could have been killed!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

So David tries to kill himself but can’t go through with it. Now all I can think is, haven’t you seen The Wolf Man (1941), I mean I assume you did as you were telling the nurse about it. Well don’t you remember, a werewolf can only be killed by silver? Slitting your wrists doesn’t work.

ouch Hermione

So stupid

So after that David sees Jack outside a porno film movie house and goes in after him. All I can think is, you’re worried about killing people and you go see a porno? Really?

sort priorities Harry Potter

And don’t give me, that’s where zombie Jack was at and he needed to speak to him. Before that we saw that Jack came to David wherever he went (hospital, Nurse Price’s flat, etc); he could find himself a quiet place and Jack would totally follow him there.

Girl Please

Plus what us up with the film they are watching? A guy and girl are getting it on and a second guy comes marching in the room yelling “You promised you wouldn’t do this again!” The first guy says “No, I didn’t.” The second guy answers, “I’m talking to her.” The women replies, “I don’t know you.” The second guy gets really embarrassed, says “Oh”, and leaves.

SayWhat?

What the heck was the point of that? And immediately after, Jack says “great movie”. I know you are super horny Jack, but no, no, no, no ,no, no, no, no. That is horrible, horrible, horrible.

facepalm Star trek

After this I couldn’t stomach anymore. It wasn’t scary. There was barely an werewolf. It was pretty much a huge mess. I’ll take The Wolf Man (1941) any day.

No no no no no

No no no no no

And here I will leave with more werewolf than we see in the film.

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to You Will Die in Seven Days

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For more on An American Werewolf in London, go to Pink Elephants

For more on werewolves, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Within

For more on Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf, go to A Monster Race

For more modern remakes, go to Let Them Fight

For more on monsters, go to What Is This Thing?

For more on Supernatural, go to Happily Ever Aftermath

For more on How I Met Your Mother, go to I’ll Be Back

Any Way You Want It

itsNevertooLateFScottFitzgerald

So guys, here we are another post on the “Getting Over a Heartbreak” series:

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28) Any Way You Want It by Journey

Another Journey song, I know but I can’t help it I love them. They capture emotions so well and can really get their message across.

Journey

So this song was released in the ’80s. It was written by lead singer Steve Perry and guitarist Neal Schon. In 1979, Journey was touring with Thin Lizzy and were greatly influenced by them.

The reason I put this on the list was because after a breakup you need to focus on yourself and what you want. And as you are single you should not only can do what you want but you should do whatever you want.

Any way you want it
That’s the way you need it
Any way you want it
She loves to laugh
She loves to sing
She does everything
She loves to move
She loves to grove
She loves the lovin’ things
Ooh, all night, all night
Oh, every night
So hold tight, hold tight
Ooh, baby, hold tight
Oh, she said,

Any way you want it
That’s the way you need it
Any way you want it
She said, Any way you want it
That’s the way you need it
Any way you want it

AnyWayYOuWantItJourney

I was alone
I never knew
What good love could do
Ooh, then we touched
Then we sang
About the lovin’ things

Ooh, all night, all night
Oh, every night
So hold tight, hold tight
Ooh baby, hold tight
Oh, she said,

Any way you want it
That’s the way you need it
Any way you want it
She said, Any way you want it
That’s the way you need it
Any way you want it

There is also the awesome Rock of Ages version:

After all, once you know what you want go after it:

WantAGiuy

And never settle for anything else:

settle

You may be:

terifyingstrangebeautiful

But the right guy will come around and love you no matter what:

RightGuy

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To start “Getting over a Heartbreak” from the beginning, go to If It Means A Lot to You

To go to the previous post, go to Be Good to Yourself

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For more on Journey, go to Don’t Stop Believin’

For more ’80s music, go to Whip It

For more on F. Scott Fitzgerald, go to For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic

For more on Rock of Ages, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Lines List

For more on Thin Lizzy, go to The Boys Are Back in Town

For more on being yourself, go to The Lining is Silver

For more on the perfect boyfriend, go to Love of My Life

A Tale So Strange It Must Be True: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (2005)

The Cabinet of Dr. CaligariI must know everything. I must penetrate the heart of his secret! I must become Caligari!

So I checked out this movie from the library, thinking that it would be weird, but I was not prepared for how strangely horrtastic it was. This was an extremely well done horror film, that really does the original film justice.

So this is a remake of the 1920s silent film. It was revolutionary for its time, and inspired countless others. What David Lee Fisher wanted to do in his remake; is still have the orginal story, but redo it in a way that it would connect to the modern generation.

It was truly amazing. I recommend that all watch it; for multiple reasons.

  1. This is one of the very, very few remakes that is as amazing as the original. They hardly changed anything, and took nothing away from the story.
  2. The background is amazing. Using a green screen they took the backgrounds from the original film, truly giving the film a demented and creepy space. It was seamlessly done, with the only times the fore and background being disconjointed is when you are at a point of the film that cannot tell what is really happening and what is in the mind. These out of sync scenes really help support the questioning of the characters’ insanity. 
  3. The cinematography is beautiful. Almost every scene takes your breath away at how beautifully it is set up.
  4. The actors are amazing! (Judson Pierce Jones & Neil Hopkins are very attractive! :D)
  5. The end is magnificent. They just twist everything that you are not sure what is reality and what isn’t.

So the film starts off at the end. The main character, Francis is speaking to an old man about his fiancé, and how she has been through such a strange event that she will never be the same again. She walks every night in a trance, and does not speak anymore. Francis starts to recount his story, warning the man that he probably won’t believe a tale so strange, it must be true.

We go back in time to a city and place that we don’t know where it belongs. Is it past or present? All one can tell is that the buildings slant, everything is triangular, misshapen, and strange.

Strangely beautiful

A man comes to the main hall to get a permit for his carnival. He calls himself Dr. Caligari, and speaks of having a psychic who can reveal all’s future. The clerk is rude to Dr. Caligari and forces him to pay an exuberant amount of money. Caligari does and walks away, but all does not seem to bode well for this clerk.

The next day he is dead. Murdered.

Then we are introduced to Alan, who is stopping by to visit his friend Francis and is begging him to partake in some kind of adventure. We learn that Alan has been combating depression and has been holing himself away these past months, even having to visit an asylum. He however, is feeling much better and convinces Francis to see the fair with him, “for old times sake”.

They start getting drunk, and then stop to see the psychic Cesare. Cesare is a “living dead” man who can fortell all. He lives in a coffin, only being released every once in a while, Cesare has a truly creepy wake up scene. There is just something about how Doug Jones jerks and twists his body that frightens you.

Francis wants to leave, but Alan is rooted to the floor. When Dr. Caligari calls on him to ask a question, Alan is compelled to answer. He is physically incapable of leaving or turning away. He asks Cesare his question, but all does not go well.

Alan: How long shall I live?                                                                                  Cesare: The time is short. You die at dawn!”

Francis quickly grabs Alan out of the tent and fearing a relapse in his friend, reassures him that Cesare’s tricks are stupid and do not mean a thing.

On the way they meet up with Jane Stern, a girl they are both madly in love with. (It is a reoccuring theme in movies. Out of all the women in the world the best friends always fall for the same one). Both are eager to get an answer from her as to who her choice will be, but she manages to slip away and into the night. The friends say good-bye and go their seperate ways.

The next day Alan is dead. Murdered.

This horrible tragedy leads Francis on a path of reality so intermingled with insanity that one can hardly tell the fact from fiction. Francis is so sure that Dr Caligari killed his friend, that he becomes obsesed with finding proof. Will this quest for vengence and justice end well? That I cannot tell you as you must see it for yourself. The film is so good, that like The Bad Seed, I cannot tell you the ending. You must view it yourself.

This marks the seventh post of scary tales. More to follow.

Here’s a poster/cover page I made for my facebook page as a countdown to Halloween.

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To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

To go to the previous post, go to Secrets are Great, Unless You Get Caught

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For more on psychics, go to That Video…is Not of This World

For more posts on films that have been remade, go to Anything Can Happen