Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans: Sweet Valley High’s Episode All Along the Water Tower

What do you do after you watch every single version of Jane Austen movies? What should you watch next?

Hmm…?

That’s why I started this list, to have non-Austen films or TV shows that Austen fans can enjoy.

This is a little different than my usual Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans as I really only recommend this one particular episode, rather than the complete series. And because it is just one episode of the series, I need to lay a little background.

It will just take a few minutes…

Sweet Valley High was a book series I started reading in the fifth grade. As I kid I really liked the series and wanted to live in their idealic and exciting Californian world. As an adult I know they are not the best written book series. Most of them are cheesy, silly, and sometimes don’t make any sense; but these were the ’80s-’90s versions of Gossip Girl or One Tree Hill except with a different type of drama. The thing I really can’t get over is how “morally superior” Elizabeth acts even though at times she is worse than Jessica.

But I digress. The book series follows twin sisters, Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. Both are juniors in high school, blonde, 5’6, and size sixes. Elizabeth is the smart, responsible one who dreams of being a journalist or writer; while Jessica is the fashionable, cheerleader, social butterfly, that dreams of parties and popularity.

They live in Sweet Valley, near Los Angeles, and attend school with their friends. The first few books focused on the two girls and the people they interacted with, but the later ones were divided into two stories: story A about a friend or relative and story B on the twins. Starting at Book 95 the series became split up into mini arcs with 3-5 books following one particular storyline. Around Book 80 the series got a bit darker with the topics ranging from drugs, school dances, serial killers, sports competitions, werewolves, princes, vampires, kidnapping, stalkers, a face/off face swapping resort, etc. You know normal teenage girl stuff.

Because of their popularity the books were turned into a TV series in the ‘90s which sort-of-not-really followed the book series. As a fan it was fun to watch, although the stories weren’t always accurate, and it was my first introduction to Jensen Ackles.

Yes, the Jensen Ackles who plays Dean Winchester.

This episode comes along in season three. Elizabeth developed a crush on her coworker at her internship at the Sweet Valley News, and dumps Todd (only to find out that the guy was a jerk). The two got back together, only to break up when Todd tries to make extra money accepting some pay-for-play in basketball. Meanwhile, Jessica was dating a rock musician, A.J. and advances his career by getting his music played on the radio which causes musicians to invite them to tour. A. J. wants Jessica to go with him but she declined as she doesn’t want to live her life focused only on him.

In this particular episode, story A focuses on Elizabeth and Todd. Elizabeth is helping her friend Enid get ready for her family reunion and accidentally admits over the student announcements that she is still into Todd. Todd tries to win her back, as he was already planning on it, but Elizabeth is not as open to it as she thinks he is only doing it to show off to everyone.

Story B is the one that I am interested in for this review. Jessica is still getting over A.J and has been spending all her time reading (something she never does for fun) her “new” favorite romantic book, The Silos of Billings, Montana.

The book is about a handsome photographer who is looking to photograph grain silos. Like every romance the photographer is the perfect man, and for once Jessica is not interested in dating any guys, as this fictional one is the only one she wants to see.

In the middle of a reread the doorbell rings and who should it be but a gorgeous photographer named Brad looking to photograph silos.

Soooo cute!!!!

I always thought this was hilarious as Sweet Valley never seemed to be a farming community. I mean the Fowlers and Morrows has computer chip and computer factories; so it seems odd he’d be in Sweet Valley. I do forgive Jessica for not being logical in this as Brad is played by Jensen Ackles.

Yes, that amazingly handsome man not only stops on her doorstep, but also gets her phone number.

Later Jessica is upset that she hasn’t heard from Brad when Elizabeth tells her that a romantic note was left on their jeep inviting Jessica to a picnic. Jessica is over the moon to date Brad and who wouldn’t? Look at him.

Jessica is also doubly excited as it turns out this exact thing happened in her favorite book. Yes, her life has turned into her favorite novel.

The picnic is just as romantic as she dreamed it to be, wiht Brad serving all the romantic food that was eaten in the novel. Everything is perfect…

How sweet!

The next day Brad brings over the photos he took at the picnic and Jessica is disappointed that he didn’t develop them himself and that they turn out to be blurry. He also invites her out to a party. Typically good looks are all Jessica cares about, but she’s actually a little disappointed that Brad isn’t exactly like the novel.

The party turns out to be a big surprise as it is Enid’s family reunion. Enid has a lot of interesting cousins, one of which is Brad. Brad’s interesting characteristic is that when he reads a book he loves, he becomes the main character in the book, living his life just as they do. He had just finished reading The Silos of Billings Montana, loved it, and decided to be it.

He’s so romantic!

Strangely Jessica is freaked out at the thought of dating Enid’s cousin, something true fans know isn’t true as again all they need to be is hot for her to date them, and instead Jessica takes off.

I think you might have guessed why I recommend this episode for Jane Austen fans. This reminds me a lot of Northanger Abbey with real life “mimicking” a novel, the effect reading novels can have on people, etc. Brad in a lot of ways is similar to both Mr. Tilney and Catherine Morland.

Soooo cute!!!!

I also always thought that Brad would be someone fun to date as he would want to mimic fictional characters. Like imagine how great it would be if he read your favorite book? And wanted to be that character? Just make sure he doesn’t read a book wiht a character you hate.

But yes, a fun silly episode for fans of Northanger Abbey.

For more Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans, go to Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans: A Christmas Movie Christmas (2019)

For more Jensen Ackles, go to Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)

It’s A Good Life: Twilight Zone (1961)

You’re a very bad man. And you keep thinking bad thoughts about me…You mustn’t think bad thoughts or I’ll do the same thing to you.

It’s Friday and time for our TV episode review. For those who are new to Horrofest, a while back I decided to add TV episodes to my 31 Horror reviews and as much as I like the hashtag #tvtuesday I really prefer reviewing them on Friday. So every Friday of the month we will have a creepy or spooky TV episode.

I originally wanted to start the first Friday off with a Jane Austen connection, but I still need to edit that review so we are moving some things around and have a review of one of the absolute best Twilight Zone episodes out there. The way that it is paced, the villain, the imagery, etc. This episode used to freak me out as a child but sent a good kind of shivers up and down my spine.

Creepy…

So for those of you who have never seen it, The Twilight Zone was a TV series that ran from 1959-1964. Every episode was its unique story and they all had to do with the supernatural unusual, strange, alien, etc. It was a great show.

At the beginning of every episode, Rod Serling would do an introduction, and at the end wrap it up with a concluding thought or moral.

From Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?

It was a fantastic show, and Rod Serling actually wrote most of seasons 1-3, leveling off on seasons 4-5.

The episode is based off of a 1953 short story “It’s a Good Life” by Jerome Bixby and comes from season three (it’s episode eight).

Our story begins in the middle of nowhere, all that is left is a town. The town doesn’t know if the rest of the world disappeared or if the town was removed to somewhere else. All they know is that the only inhabitants can’t leave and it is all because of one person; six-year old Anthony Fremont.

“They have to think happy thoughts and say happy things because once displeased, the monster can wish them into a cornfield or change them into a grotesque, walking horror. This particular monster can read minds, you see. He knows every thought, he can feel every emotion. Oh yes, I did forget something, didn’t I? I forgot to introduce you to the monster. This is the monster. His name is Anthony Fremont. He’s six years old, with a cute little-boy face and blue, guileless eyes. But when those eyes look at you, you’d better start thinking happy thoughts, because the mind behind them is absolutely in charge. This is the Twilight Zone.”

-Rod Serling

Anthony is a child with godlike powers and he can read minds. He is incredibly scary as he is an emotional child who has no real concept of right and wrong and no one can tell him different or else they will wind up dead.

Everything is dwindling, no technology is possible (Anthony won’t let it), and all the people live in constant fear they will upset Anthony, although they try very hard to hide it. Some of the best scene are when they interact with him, as you can see everyone is terrified but trying so to believe what they are saying; “it’s sure good…” in fact The word “good” is repeated 46 times in this episode.

Anthony is a bit lonely and his dad tries to explain why the kids won’t hang out with him, while trying not to upset him. Either Anthony upset the kids by creating monsters he kills and sends to the cornfield; or he does something to the children.

Mr. Fremont: Well, Anthony, you remember the last time some kids came over to play. The little Fredricks boy and his sister.

Anthony Fremont: I had a real good time.

Mr. Fremont: Oh, sure you did, you had a real good time, and it’s good that you had a good time, it’s real good. It’s, uh, just that…

Anthony Fremont: Just that what?

Mr. Fremont: Well, Anthony, you, uh, you wished them away into the cornfield. Their mommy and daddy were real upset.

It’s A Good Life

Every week, Anthony allows one hour of television, but only something he wants to see. Everything comes to a head after the show, when they have a party for one of his parents friends: Dan Hollis.

Birthdays are difficult to hold as gifts are hard to come by and Anthony doesn’t allow any music or singing in the town. Hollis receives two gifts from everyone, a bottle of brandy and a Perry Como record. Hollis wants to listen to the record of his favorite artists, something he desperately misses, but everyone warns him not to. Anthony doesn’t like music.

Hollis starts drinking instead and not only gets drunk, but bold. Hollis sings happy birthday to himself and tired of always pretending snaps. He yells at the group and tells them they should take Anthony out now when they have the chance to.

You see where everyone looks, but all are too afraid. Only Aunt Amy touches the fireplace poker, however she too doesn’t try, also being too scared to take on Anthony.

Anthony gets mad, real mad and turns Hollis into this terrifying Jack-in-the-box; all are scared and beg Anthony to send it into the cornfield.

Compared to today, it’s not the scariest thing out there, but the way it was filmed really upped the horror. Everyone screams and gasps, everyone turns away. They show it to you for a split second and then just the shadow. It terrified me as a kid!

And the most terrifying part of this is, Anthony doesn’t think anything of it-he feels no remorse, horror, tension, etc. It’s just the way things are. A group take Hollis’ wife away as they are worried that she might think something that will end her life (or anger Anthony enough he starts doing terrible things to everyone). Anthony now bored, deciding to make it snow outside. When his father gets angry about the crops being ruined and what will they have to eat, trying to discipline him, he stops himself. Instead telling him

Dan Fremont: it’s good that you’re making it snow, Anthony, – it’s real good. And tomorrow – tomorrow’s going to be a real good day!

“The Good Life” from The Twilight Zone

“…if by some strange chance you should run across him, you had best think only good thoughts. Anything less than that is handled at your own risk, because if you do meet Anthony, you can be sure of one thing: you have entered The Twilight Zone.”

Rod Serling

For more Twilight Zone, go to Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?: The Twilight Zone (1961)

For more monsters, go to Did You Ever Consider the Consequences of Your Actions? You Made Me, and You Left Me to Die. Who Am I?: Frankenstein (1994)

Books, Tea, and the Trinity: Savory Meat Hand Pies

So every Wednesday, starting in October, I have been a part of a Tea Party/Bible Study/Book Club on The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis. This is different from my book club and the Book Club Picks I have been reviewing (and desperately need to catch up on). This week we had Cinnamon Bun Scones, Curry Egg Salad Triple Stack Sandwiches, Savory Beef Hand Pies, Cranberry Feta Pinwheels, and Melt-in-Your-Mouth Buttermilk Chocolate Cookies.

I though it would be able to post these faster, but I have really fallen behind. I’m trying to catch up though!

So my friend had made some meat pies a few weeks earlier and they were amazing! I begged and begged her for the recipe but she couldn’t give it to me as she didn’t really have a recipe. She just kind of throws things together.

So I instead went searching online and found a site called Longbourn Farm, and I was like “Longbourn”? Do you mean this Longbourn?

Pride and Prejudice’s Longbourn?

So of course I went with it. I ended up using my pie crust recipe from my apple pie recipe.

Ingredients: Pie Crust

• 2 Cups of All-Purpose flour
• 1 Teaspoon of Salt
• 3/4 Cup of Shortening
• Ice Water

Filling:

• 1.5 lbs of Ground Beef
• 1 Cup of Chopped Onion
• 3/4 Teaspoon of Salt
• 1/4 Teaspoon of Pepper
• 1/2 Teaspoon of Ground Thyme
• 1/2 Teaspoon of Ground Oregano
• 1/2 Teaspoon Paprika
• 1 Cup of Grated Cheddar Cheese
• 1 Egg
• 1 Teaspoon of Water

Directions:

1. In a mixing bowl, mix up the shortening and flour. Add in water, a tablespoon at a time until dough is more malleable. If you add too much and it is too liquid-y, then just add a bit more flour to firm it up.
2. Put dough aside.
3. In a medium frying pan on medium heat, add ground beef and spices.
4. When ground beef is brown, about 8 mins, add onion.
5. Cook until the Ground Beef is completely cooked through and the onoions are translucent.
6. Preheat the oven to 400ºF.
7. Roll out pie dough and cut circles out of the pie crust, they should be about 4-6 inches in diameter. You can use a large cookie cutter or biscuit cutter or just trace a drinking glass if you don’t have a cutter.
8. Divide the Ground Beef and cheese up evenly between the circles.
9. Fold the circles in half and press the edges together gently. Crimp them firmly with a fork.
10. Whisk the egg and water together.
11. Brush the egg-water mixture onto each beef hand pie.
12. Place the beef hand pies on a lined or greased sheet tray.
13. Bake for 20-25 minutes, until the tops are golden brown.

So these weren’t as good as my friend’s hand pies, but they were extremely delicious.

I did run out of pie dough though, and ended up having to buy more (I just bought the premade frozen ones).

For more from The Magician’s Nephew Tea Party/Book Club, go to Cinnamon Bun Scones

For more recipes, go to Easy Fruit Tarts

For more pie recipes, go to Mini Apple Pies

For more tea posts, go to Brisket and Slaw Roulades

The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Meet Dracula, Part II: The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

So yesterday I reviewed part one and now we are on to the second part of The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Meet Dracula. Before we start Part II, let’s do a quick recap. So in the ’70s they had the show The Hardy Boys/ Nancy Drew Mysteries. Each week would alternate with an episode featuring The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew. When season two came out someone had the fantastic idea to do a crossover, and they ended up doing three more. These crossovers were my favorite as I ship Nancy Drew and Frank Hardy.

So Frank and Joe’s father is missing. They start searching for him and following his notes, running into Nancy Drew who was supposed to meet Mr. Fenton Hardy (the boys’ father). It turns out that Fenton was on the track of an art thief and had connected it a rock ‘n roll star, Allison Troy, who is playing at a rock festival, the Dracula Festival. Nancy and the Boys argue about who’s investigating, the boys going undercover by joining a band and Nancy and her friend Bess travel out to Transylvania.

Inspector Stavlin, friend of Fenton Hardy, does not like the way everyone is treating Dracula and warns everyone to watch out.

Joe is on stage singing, while Frank is searching the castle and gets trapped in a cell with a person who has two pinpricks on his neck Nancy and Bess just found them. What will happen next? Is Dracula really hiding in the castle or is there a human murderer running about? Who is the art thief? And will they ever find out what happened to Fenton Hardy?

Frank tells them to hurry and get a Doctor, Bess runs while Nancy picks the lock to get him out Frank is extremely impressed.

Oh, wow…

That’s another reason why I ship Nancy and Frank over Ned. Ned in this series was just so narcissistic and always talking down to Nancy. Frank was amazing as he liked Nancy and her skills. They are just so perfect together!

So the man in the cell isn’t dead but has a weak pulse-Frank tells him he met him earlier as he is part of the town’s council and the hotel owner. Nancy spots his neck and sees the bite marks…like a vampire bite.

Meanwhile, Joe continues singing. I think Shaun Cassidy is so adorable, and as much as I like David Cassidy, he’s my favorite of the brothers.

Stavlin comes and sees the bite maks and he gets one of the police members to get an ambulence while other people help carry Berger out.

Nancy: I think it is about time we started working together.

Frank: I think so too.

Nancy and Frank leave the caverns and head back upstairs to the party. Joe is at first upset to see Nancy (he’s still not over her harpooning their waiter) but Frank tells him about their new partnership-all working together. Nancy reveals that she came there specifically to look for them, Frank is pleased (oh Frank, he has a crush on Nancy) and she shares she has some info on their father. She thinks she might have found him.

She started searching not for Hardy, but Fredricks and found him in a monastery. Some Monks found him and tried to find his family, but the only ID he had on was Fredricks.

Found in a monastery? That sounds a lot like Dracula when Jonathan Harker was discovered in a convent, having been found by nuns. I love little touches like that.

The boys are relieved he isn’t dead, but wish he was doing better. Frank leaves to speak to the monk about his father’s care and what should be done next, while Joe stays with dad. Aw, Joe cries, Joe is so cute. Shaun Cassidy is a great actor, you forget that he is acting

The monk tells frank that one day his father did recover consciousness and for a brief moment said something about caverns, but the monk does’t know what that means. He too had a vampire-like bite.

From Horror of Dracula

Nancy says what they are all thinking, Dracula. Frank is amazed she could believe that, but Nancy states she doesn’t really think a vampire has arisen, but that someone wants them to think that.

You know, in the previous post I said that these brothers were the Dean and Sam Winchester, from Supernatural, of the ’70s and now that I think about it-this episode has some similarities to “Monster Movie“.  The brothers investigating a strange occurrence at a a festival happening, the older brother trying to get with the pretty girl, and a “vampire” running amuck…interesting.

Hmm…

The boys return from their visit and drop Nancy off at the hotel, then return to the castle to search the caverns. A bat flies by…Dracula?

Back at the castle the secret passage in the “crypt” moves and someone is stalking the night. It is the person we before…could it be… Dracula?

Frank is set on it being Allison Troy as that is the track his dad was on, but Joe isn’t sure. I mean Allison is cold and a diva, but the vampire dress up and “bite” seems a it farfetched for a rock star? But then again, I already reviewed two movies about Ted Bundy and both clearly showed that you never really know people as well as you think you do.

Hmm…

The boys leave the caverns deciding to sleep on it and resume the investigation in the morning. They just narrowly escape he who stalks the caverns.

The next day the townspeople are worried about Dracula and are hanging up garlic everywhere. The detectives decide to continue searching the next day when Troy is preoccupied with the concert.

Joe takes Allison Troy’s car, but finds nothing. Meanwhile, Nancy and Frank search Troy’s room. Hmm…wonder who picked that split. I’m sure Frank is trying to be like Fred and Daphne Nancy Drew.

Nancy and Fred find a lock-pickers kit under the bed, Frank thinks they are on the right track, but Nancy isn’t so enthused…she’s thinking.

Frank wants to go to Stavlin with the information, but it seems too easy. If he is such a great criminal with these art thefts why would he do something so stupid like leaving the lock-picks under the bed.

Hmm…from The Wolfman

Everyone in town are freaking out as they think Dracula has risen. They think they should stop the concert as it is their fault that Dracula has risen again. Others say they should burn the castle.

Grab your torches and sharpen your pitchforks!

People be crazy, but Stavlin comes and starts yellling Dracula isn’t real and calms the people down and warning them that if they break any laws or abuse a guest they will be arrested.

So was it my imagination or did he previously seem to be saying Dracula is alive? But now he is telling everyone there is no Dracula…hmm. Does he believe or doesn’t he?

Hmmm…

Frank approaches Stavlin to tell them about Troy, but he is busy with the mayor. The mayor invites them to join them and share. He also gives them all steaming cups of cider.

Stavlin talks about the attacks of the last two days of two strong men being highly suspicious. But how did he know about Fenton being bit. When he spoke to the boys before he was clueless as to what had happened and Frank and Joe haven’t had a chance to talk to him yet. Hmm.

Hmm…treasure?

Stavlin warns the mayor that he might be the next victim and Frank questions why. Thanks for asking Frank as I was wondering the same thing. Stavlin says it parallels the Dracula story that has been passed on for generations, while that has nothing to do with the book Dracula, what is he talking about?

Frank brings up his father who has nothing to do with the Dracula legend. So yes, here it sounds as if he believes in Dracula being alive. Hmmm….

Hmm…

Frank and Nancy share their discoveries and what they found in Troy’s room. Nancy also shares that it feels like a frame job. Stavlin isn’t too surprised and brushes them off saying he will look into it.

He warns the mayor that he must guard his life, that the other men survived but the next, the mayor, will die.The mayor laughs him off, but I’d be worried about Stavlin.

SUPER creeped

That night the mayor locks himself in his office while Frank walks Nancy home oooohhhh

Nancy sleeps fitfully, while in his room Frank paces the room and He (the guy from the cavern, possible Dracula) stalks the night.

Someone creeps through the window watching Nancy, someone who looks very Dracula like.

Joe and Bess return, what have they been up to?, while a bat flies in to attack Nancy, a bat or vampire?!! Joe, Frank, and Bess hear her and Frank breaks the door down and picks up Nancy carrying her to safety in the hallway, leaving Joe and Bess fight it.

Nancy is understandably freaked at this vampire bat attacking her and clings to Frank ooooooooooohhh

Frank realizes the room was locked from the inside, so someone hid the bat in the room…or Dracula exists.

From “Monster Movie” from Supernatural

The group are talking in the restaurant and Stavlin overhears them. He questions them but believes Dracula is real. The Mayor’s housekeeper comes to Stavlin for help as she cannot get the master and he wont answer. All the men break the door down and find him…dead! Bite mark on his neck!

Oh, he’s not dead. He’s still alive.

Frank is trying to figure this out but the room is locked from the inside, the window has bars, the fireplace has a high fire…what, how, uh?

Wow!

So while the first episode was good, they also had a lot of setting up to do with the meet cute, them getting to Transylvania, etc. This one is far more thrilling as we either have Dracula arisen from the grave or a crazy person wanting everyone to think he’s Dracula. Either way I am stone cold invested.

The next day Troy is arrested and the concert stopped. All the townspeople cheer and wish they had listened to Stavlin about not having the rock concert in the first place. They ask about evidence and Stavlin shares about the lock-picks and that he found a map in the trunk of his car. Here Joe speaks up as he searched last night, remember and found nothing.

Bess also speaks up that she was watching Troy and his group all night and they never left the castle. Stavlin is upset but as there are all these contradictions he decides to let Troy go.

Stavlin tells the detectives that if it isn’t Dracula attacking or Troy and there was no one else could the mayor have hurt himself?

Hmm…

The mayor is offended that Stavlin could suggest it, but Stavlin ignores him and Stavlin has him arrested. Stavlin explains as a political move, which makes no sense to me. Why would he do that? How does it help him? I’m so confused. These people don’t question Stavlin but ask him to take over until they have an election.

Stalin refuses at first but at their urges acquiesces to do as the council wishes.

So after all that excitement they head back to the hotel. Frank and Nancy are doing a sort of “you hang up first” routine, making it beyond obvious to Bess and Joe that they hav feelings for each other. Joe decides to show up his brother, like always, and makes a move on Bess getting a kiss.

I can’t believe any of these guys are really going to bed. I mean I have read a lot of these books, after that exchange of Stavlin and the townspeople, they should be investigating.

Frank and Joe head back to the castle as Frank doesn’t believe in the explanation given by Stavlin, and it is really thin. How does bringing “Dracula” help his career? He’s been doing horrible ever seen Dracula “arose from the grave”. Frank wants to search the castle and Dracula’s grave.

The boys search the caverns which are spoooky.

Creepy…

Frank takes Joe to Dracula’s “grave” which reveals the secret passage, Frank goes into it, Joe following. Inside it has all the paintings from all the robberies. Joe wants to leave, he’s a bit creeped out, but Frank won’t let them as he wants to jeep searching. He finds the coffin and can’t stop as he has to open it to reveal……………………………………………………………………..

Bones!!!!!!! So yeah bones not a vampire.

Stavlin interupts them dressed in vampire clothing. Yes it was Stavlin who was stealing the art. You see they are forcing him to retire due to his age so he started stealing to create a little nest egg. He always spend all his time in the castle and used it as a special place to reenact his desire to be Dracula.

Yes, he uses the room and castle to pretend to be Dracula. That’s why he didn’t want the rock group there. Someone might go poking around and find his little secrets.

The Hardy Boys figured out how he attacked the mayor. He must have drugged the mayor’s cider, and he knew that the maid would come to him for help. He was the first on the scene and when he checked the mayor and blocked him from view to  “protect” the housekeeper he must have made the wound.

He tried to frame Troy but Joe and Bess foiled it, so he had to blame the mayor.

Stavlin locks the door and they are locked in the castle with a madman, only stopped by Nancy, Fenton, and Bess. Stavlin is surprised and he falls into the trapdoor he set up for the boys and is arrested. He’s no Dracula, if anything he’s crazy old Reinfeld.

Renfield from Dracula (1931)

Stavlin is taken away and says these crazy things like he might escape, Joe sees him pass by a mirror and doesn’t see Stavlin’s reflection.

Could he be Dracula arisen from a the grave, a real vampire, or a trick mirror?

Hmm…

It doesn’t answer that and I like that.

These are always my favorite episodes of the series and so much fun. I highly recommend checking them out.

For more Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries, go to A Haunting We Will Go: The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries (1977)

For more Nancy Drew, go to Those Men Are Not Going to Stand for Nancy Drew Poking Her Little Nose Into Their Affairs: Nancy Drew, Detective (1938)

For more Dracula, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Detectives, go to It’s a Weird Case from the Start. A Case With a Hole in the Center: Knives Out (2019)

For more mysteries, go to One Day You’ll See Something You Shouldn’t: Rear Window (1954)

You’re Mother is a Shadowhunter…Like You: The Mortal Instruments, City of Bones (2013)

I don’t understand what any of this has to do with my mom.

Your mother was a shadowhunter, like him; like you.

So about a year ago, I read the book City of Bones (Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments #1) by Cassandra Clare. I decided to read it as it is SUPER popular at the library. The book is returned and gets checked out as soon as it is shelved.

After I finished it…I was not pleased at all and I could not get the appeal.

It kind of felt like a mashup between Supernatural and Harry Potter. And it MOST definitely was not better than The Hunger Games. 

Seriously, they thought that?!

It was an okay story, but it went overload on the cultural references. Like these kids are into fantasy and Scifi, I get it-but when you just reference or quote things constantly to fill in your story instead of developing the characters-that’s where I have issues.

Not for me.

Plus I found the character Simon, Clary’s best friend, to be super annoying, and I wanted her to end up with Jace the shadowhunter she meets-as the author is constantly putting them together, but it turns out that they are brother and sister?

I mean why would you construct a story that way to want two characters to get together and then be all, psych they are brother and sister.

Why, why would you do that. Ugh, it made me feel disgusting after reading it.

Or are they? Could Valentine be lying?

Hmm…is it her?

Yeah, not interested in reading more…

So I was scrolling through my streaming sites, and the film popped up and I thought, why not? There was nothing else on. Let’s see how they did the film.

Hmm…

So Clary Fray (Lily Collins) is a normal 16-year old. She lives with her mother as her father passed away years ago. Her family is rounded out by her best friend Simon, who has a huge crush on her that she can’t see, and her mother’s best friend Luke Garroway (Aiden Turner).

Wait, what?

AIDEN TURNER is in this?

For those of you who don’t know-Aiden Turner is an Irish actor who is immensely talented and has the best looking curly hair I have ever seen. I became a fan of him and his hair after watching Poldark, so I was excited. As I said, it’s been over a year since I read the book, but I do remember Luke playing a crucial role in the end of the book and I couldn’t wait to see Aiden Turner.

Clary and Simon go out to a coffee poetry night. Clary sees this “hot” blonde guy and decides to be spontaneous and go to the club he is going to. To be fair it wasn’t just because of the guy-her mother has sheltered her, her whole life and tht coupled with her mom calling her again about when she will be home and her turning 16-she decides to have fun. The hot gut was the final push.

At the club she sees him with a girl and a guy and watches the group as they approach a man and kill it.

What!

She hurries away but its too late. Life has changed forever.

She has realized the “reality” of her world and its not going away. Clary gets in a fight with her mom, and later Jocelyn Fray (Lena Headey) calls Clary and warns her not to come back. Jocelyn is kidnapped and the apartment torn apart. Clary returns home, but is attacked by some wolflike creature. Jace, the boy from the club, comes and saves her.

Where is everyone?

He saves Clary and tells her the creature was a demon, as was the man the night before. Jace is a shadowhunter, shadowhunters are a race of mortals who have angelic blood. They reside in the shadow world but cross over to the mortal realm to hunt demons, vampires, werewolves, etc. Shadowhunters can only be created by being born of a shadowhunter or turned into one by The Mortal Cup.

As you have guessed it, Jocelyn is a shadowhunter, meaning that Clary is too. That is why she could see Jace and his friends and no else could. They question the neighbor, a witch, and discover that people are after the mortal cup and believe she has it.

That’s not good.

They need a ride and Simon drives her and Jace over to Luke’s to get more information. Simon is less annoying in this, but is still annoying. And surprise, surprise he hates Jace as Jace is clearly into Clary.

The actors weren’t bad but Lily Collins and the guy who plays Jace have like zero chemistry. In the book they actually connected better.

They reach the antique shop to look for Luke, and find him being beat up. He tells the two guys (the ones who kidnapped Jocelyn) that he cares nothing for the Frays and only wants the cup too. If they let him go he will be able to find it.

The crew leave him-RUDE, like geez Clary this guy was a surrogate dad and you watched him get beat up and did nothing.

So Jace knows they won’t be safe in the city and takes them to the Shadowhunter Institute. On the outside the muggles mundanes see a dilapidated broken down church, but on the inside it is a beautiful building with weapons.

There she meets Alex (Kevin Zeggers) and Isabella Lightwood, and Hodge who runs the institute. The three of the Shadowhunters are on earth because of what their parent’s did. Years ago, Valentine Morgensten’s father was killed by a werewolf and that set him on dark path. He wanted to destroy all downworlders (demons, werewolves, vampires, etc) even ones that were not breaking the law or the Accords. He was aided by the Lightwoods and intended on starting the killing when the next Accord signing was set up. They were stopped and punishment ended up with them being sent from Idris, their home in the Shaddoworld to New York City. Later Jace was sent to live with them. Hodge on the other hand is banished to never be able to return to Idris.

Valentine was experimenting with The Mortal Cup to become more powerful, but he was believed to be dead. With them searching for the cup and coming after Jocelyn, he must have returned.

That’s not good.

Hodge tells Jace to take Clary to the Silent Brothers so they can reveal her memories. When she gets there she discovers that there is a lock on her memories only one person could do that-Magnus Bane.

Magnus Bane is the high Warlock in the area and is just happening to be throwing a killer party. Of course poor Clary knows nothing about fashion and wears boring clothes so we have a makeover by Isabella.

After the makeover all the boys are upset- Jace has been struck by cupid, Simon is mad that Jace is into Clary, and Alec has a thing for Jace and doesn’t like that he is into Clary.

They head to the party and Clary goes off with Magnus. Magnus tells her that her mother wanted to keep her safe and used to take her to appointments regularly. It was getting harder for the block to stay as she growing older and they missed the latest appointment which was to be on her birthday. Magnus tells her he can’t do anything but that without the last session in time everything and all her powers will develop.

Well, thanks for that I guess.

Well that was a useless detour-except Simon gets kidnapped as he is turned into mouse and stolen by vampires. The gang has to go after him and fight, only surviving when they are saved by werwolves.

So about here I was checked out of the film. I like that they had pared down the pop culture references but to be honest this movie is really boring. It was just too much like things you’d seen before you know. I wouldn’t be able to give specifics but it was like a large order of deja vu.

Back at the institute Simon recuperates while Jace and Clary grow closer. Clary is a prolific artists and it turns out that her Shadowhunter powers are very interesting. She can draw something and pull it off the page, or put an ordinary object on into paper. That gets her thinking…

Hmmm…

Jace, Clary, and Simon all have a spat as they are in a triangle-Simon likes Clary, and Clary likes the attention but she likes Jace who likes Clary, but Jace doesn’t like how close Clary and Simon are, etc.

Blah, blah

Clary thinks about her abilities inherited from her mom and realizes she has seen a painting by her mom of The Mortal Cup. It was on set of tarot cards her mom made or their neighbor, the witch.

Jace, Alec, Isabella, and Clary head to her neighbors to get the cup-but she is possessed by a demon. They fight and get the cup, but Alec is wounded. At the institute Isabella blames Clary as Alec is wounded badly, so badly they have to call Magnus as he is the only one who could do anything.

That’s not good.

Clary gives the cup to Hodge, who betrays them by bringing Valentine into their word-he’s been biding his time working for him, the Death Eaters, as long believed dead leader is back.

Oh, wow…

Valentine is back and played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers, oh I had a huge crush on him in the ’90s.

From Bend It Like Beckham

So Valentine reveals that he is Clary’s father. Clary has special abilities she isn’t aware of as he experimented on her when she was a fetus with angel blood and his son (her brother) with demon blood. I am really disappointed that he isn’t in the film that long and second his character is top comical. He’s chewing the scenery in every shot-and he’s not usually like this, so I blame the director.

So Clary is asked by her father to join the dark side him but she refuses, She puts the cup back in the card and travels through a portal to Luke’s. Meanwhile, Valentine bring Jocelyn to the institute and tries to figure out how to turn his daughter. Hodge comes up with the plan to lie to Jocelyn and Clary that Jace is the dead son Jonathan. I’m glad they made it clear in this that the incest is a lie-although it is still a weird plot.

Apparently, in a later book it is revealed that Valentine faked his and his older son Jonathan’s death and took the identify of Michael Wayland becoming a recluse. Michael and his wife had died, Valentine has been experimenting on Jace’s mother without her knowledge and when she died he saved the child and raised it. Jonathan had extra demon blood and Jace extra angel blood.

Hmm…

So they get to Luke’s shop and he reveals that he is a werewolf (Valentine was trying to get rid of him and took him on a hunt to get him turned into one and killed). Luke has always loved her mother and traveled with her to this world to protect her. He reveals information about Valentine and tells her that he lied to the the men torturing him to protect them. After he escaped he fought with another werewolf and gained a pack, them being the ones that saved them with the vampires.

The werewolves and few shadowhunters team up to take Valentine down.

Back at the institute, Valentine has brought demons in to help him and the Shadowhunters and werewolves do their best to fight him off. Simon discovers Jocelyn in a comalike state in the crypt of the church and tries to revive her. Valentine and Jace fight, but Jace stops when he is told that Valentine is his father.

He stops fighting, as that’s his “dad”, but Clary defeats Valentine and tricks him by giving him a fake cup ands him through the portal. Later Jace goes to see Clary and invites her back in to the Shadowhunter world-telling her he doesn’t think they are really siblings.

That doesn’t change it, still…

This wasn’t that good of a story. I think it was better in some ways than the book, but it was boring. It felt like a Star Wars, Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, Supernatural, Buffy the Vampire Slayer smoothie-and not in a good way. I liked Aiden Turner-although I wish he was in it more. Otherwise, meh.

For more demons, go to Suspense & Sensibility (Or First Impressions Revisited)

For more on angels, go to Book Club Picks: This Present Darkness

For more Teen Horror films, go to Just Because I’m a Vampire Doesn’t Mean I’m Bloodthirsty: Cirque du Freak, The Vampire’s Assistant (2009)

For more on Lena Headey, go to The Story, We’re Living it. It’s Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)

For more on Jonathan Rhys Meyers, go to Lookin’ Over a Four-Leaf Clover: 17 More Irish Heroes