Apologies

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So remember that plan I set out way back in May that I was going to spend all summer reviewing Pride & Prejudice, a thing I thought would carry on into the fall? Well things didn’t go exactly as planned. As the old saying goes

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To be honest this is my motto as when I have a plan, life always gets in the way and throws a curve ball. It makes me feel like the creators of Jurassic Park. I have this plan, this vision, but then…

Life finds a way and screws up all my plans. Although having Jeff Goldblum would be nice ūüėČ I’m not saying that my summer turned out bad because of these changes, it just caused my original plans to be discarded for the moment.

So this summer a friend of mine invited me to be in these three 30‚Äďminute Shakespeare plays that her new community theatre production was putting on (As You Like It, King Lear,¬†&¬†Comedy of Errors). This took up mid‚ÄďMay to Mid‚ÄďJuly. This was not enough to shove Jane Austen and my blog to the wayside, I was also working on a blog with my mother based on The Cat Who series. We would read the books, review them, make recipes out of the cookbook that goes with the series, photograph them, and then blog about it. (if interested check out The Cat Who Wrote a Blog)¬†In combination to this, my niece came down to visit staying from mid-June to the end of July. And the¬†Pi√®ce de¬†r√©sistance, I got a boyfriend.

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I know, I know. You are all probably wondering how that happened. I still don’t know myself. But somehow it did. And no he is not an Austenite, but there is always time to remedy that.

Just kidding. I'm not going to take it that far.

Just kidding. I’m not going to take it that far.

So we are going to call him Michael. And he has a lot of great qualities; ¬†respectful, intelligent, cute ;), has an¬†amazing taste in books and movies; and just someone I can talk to. Most importantly…

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Anyways I’ll take more about him later. And I haven’t been completely slacking off. However, with school, work, clubs, and volunteering my writings will be once again very sporadic. But, never fear Horrorfest II is still coming and will be here. I am very excited for it!!! I loved doing Horrorfest and want it to be a yearly thing, as continue as long as I can think of 31 horror/suspense films. So while things never go exactly as we want it, there is still many pleasant surprises on the way.

Looking Back, Moving Forward

Happy-New-Year

Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope you all had a fun new years eve and safely enjoyed yourself. I went to two parties; both of which bored me :(, oh well there’s always next year. ūüôā

Anyways, I thought it might be fun to do a year in review type thing as I start out with the great things that happened this year and what I hope to bring in the future! ūüėÄ

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How could any guy hate this color?

1) The Views

So according to WordPress I received 2000 views on my blog this year. Wow, that is more than I thought I would get and I would like to thank all of you for being a part of this. It really makes me feel as if I am doing something special to see that.

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2) #1 Post

Also according to WordPress, my most popular day was October 31st . Surprisingly; instead of the number one post being¬†Everyone‚Äôs Entitled to One Good Scare: Halloween (1978), which I posted that day;¬†I Bid You Welcome: Dracula (1931)¬†took the lead. It still remains the number one viewed post. #2 was¬†A Fright on Halloween Night: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949), #3¬†Grimwood Ghouls‚Äô Gym Teacher: Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School (1988), #4¬†A Monster Race: Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (1988), #5¬†Quite A Horror Story: Agatha Christie‚Äôs Poirot Hallowe‚Äôen Party (2011), and #6 being By George He’s Perfect.

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3) The Followers

I just found out that I know have fourteen followers! That’s amazing! I want to thank each of you that chooses to come back and check out my blog. It really puts a smile on my face to know that my thoughts and views interest others.

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Now that we have reviewed some stats lets move on to reviewing the highlights of the past posts!

The many handsome men who have played Mr. Darcy

The many handsome men who have played Mr. Darcy

4) Mr. Darcy

I also started the first of Mr. Darcy filled posts. There will be many, many more to come as there is just so much to say about him. My favorite Darcy filled posts were Darcy’s Dream Date¬†and The Beauty of Darcy. I recommend reading both, but especially the second!

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4) The Verne Saga

In September, a guy named Verne tried to hit on me, but I brushed him off never thinking I would see him again. That was proved wrong as he kept popping up. To read the whole story check out Flirting With Disaster, Bowled Over, Bad Penny, and Return of the Verne.

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5) Character Sketches

I did two posts of literary/film characters I really like and admire. Forney Hull from Where the Heart Is, and George Knightly from Emma. I hope to do more later on, as it is something I enjoy doing.

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images-26)Embarrassing Moments

I always have embarrassing moments, and I did post a few. If you want a good laugh; check out Doors of Death, Walkin’ Round, Color Me Red, etc.

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7) Horrorfest

For the month of October, I posted a blog everyday that reviewed/had to do with a monster/horror/suspense movie. It was an enormous feat and took a lot of time to do. There were many days when I almost gave up, but I ended up completing my goal and posting all 31. This is something I plan to do again next October, along with possibly doing something in February for Valentine’s Day. The films I reviewed were¬†The Phantom of the Opera¬†(1925),¬†Dracula¬†(1931),¬†Frankenstein¬†(1931),¬†The Bride of Frankenstein¬†(1935),¬†The Legend of Sleepy Hollow¬†(1949),¬†The Bad Seed¬†(1956),¬†The Giant Behemoth¬†(1959),¬†Carnival of Souls¬†(1962),¬†Night of the Living Dead¬†(1968),¬†Attack of the Killer Tomatoes¬†(1978),¬†Halloween¬†(1978),¬†Friday the 13th¬†(1980),¬†Poltergeist (1982),¬†Nightmare on Elm Street¬†(1984),¬†The Black Cauldron¬†(1985),¬†Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School (1988),¬†Scooby-Doo and the Reluntant Werewolf¬†(1988),¬†¬†Arachnophobia¬†(1990),¬†The Addam’s Family Values¬†(1993),¬†The Cable Guy¬†(1996),¬†Phantom of the Megaplex¬†(2000),¬†The Secret Window¬†(2004),¬†The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari¬†(2005),¬†Perfect Stranger¬†(2007),¬†Aliens in the Attic (2009), and¬†Agatha Christe’s Poirot: Halloween Party¬†(2011).

The days I didn’t review a film I talked about Universal’s classic monster films, the internet movie Butterfinger the 13th, the Even Stevens Halloween Special, Archie’s Weird Mysteries: Attack of the Killer Spuds, and the Austen men in Halloween costumes.

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8) Christmas Failure

I tried to do 12 posts of Christmas reviewing Christmas films, but I just became too sick to continue it. I was only able to do five posts about Christmas films-The 12 Men of Christmas, The Santa Clause, Borrowed Hearts, Holiday in Handcuffs, and The Bishop’s Wife. I did one Jane Austen birthday post that I tied into Christmas, a post I know you Austenites would love. And¬†I did a final post listing off six of my favorite songs of Christmas to “equal” 12 “posts”. I’m sorry I had to disappoint you.

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Well I hope you’ve enjoyed the posts of this past year, I loved writing them. Here’s to a new year full of new surprises, ideas, and adventures. I wish you all the very best in the upcoming year; may it satisfy you all and me a memorable time. Happy New Year!

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I think it will be one lucky year, no matter what the superstitious say!

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For another holiday post go to It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Secrets are Great, Unless You Get Caught: Perfect Stranger (2007)

Secrets are great. Unless you get caught.

So a week ago I had some free time and was flipping through channels, planning on just zoning out in front of the TV until my next class. I landed on FX and started watching this movie with Halle Berry and Bruce Willis. It seemed really good, but I couldn’t finish it as I had to run off to my next class. I decided to rent it ¬†and finish watching it as the plot really intrigued me. Unfortunately; it wasn’t very good. I thought it had too many sexual scenes that were just awkward and painful to get through, I ended up having to fast forward through them all. I also thought they dropped the F-bomb too many times. I’m not one who curses at all, but I think everyone who does will agree with me that there are times when the F-Bomb is said too many times that it loses its meaning and makes the person just look stupid.

I also didn’t like Halle Berry’s character Ro. I thought that she was a mean, selfish jerk. Her friend Miles is head over heels crazy for her, and Ro knows this and instead of letting him off gently; she is totally rude to him, just using him for all the information he can get. Now I know I have been a total witch to guys (check out the Elton Saga: 1,2,& 3 plus lame lines¬† and flirting post), but at least I never toyed with a guys affections to get him to retrieve information for me.

The only really good part about this film is the end. It was amazing! I wish there was a way one could just watch it and understand the rest of the film.

Here are the links if you want to check it out yourself.

FYI Spolier Alert

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So the movie starts out with Halle Berry’s character Ro, a journalist, ¬†tricking a senator into revealing all of his dirty secrets.

Ro is pretty high on her recent sucess and goes out to celebrate with her best friend/computer whiz/guy madly in love with her that she doesn’t care for, Miles. After she becomes extrremely drunk, she ends up being told by her boss that they are burying the story. Extremely angry that her freedom of press is being stomped on, she quits.

She starts on home feeling angry and crappy. She’about to board the subway and head home, when her old school friend she hasn’t spoken to in years; and is really mad at, because she slept with her boyfriend, Grace approaches her.

Hey girl, what up?

Turns out Grace met this guy, ADEX, online and had cybersex with him, later meeting up with him in real life. It turns out that “ADEX” was really the rich and famous Harrison Hill. She and him had a big fling and now she is threatening to blackmail him. She also wants Ro to write this up for the paper and completely embarass Hill. Ro blows her off and continues on home.

A week later, Ro gets a call from Grace’s mom telling her Grace is thought to be dead. Ro goes and identifies the drowned body, confirming that it is Grace. From here Ro decides she is going to take on Hill, and get him for what he did. She enlists Miles who has all the knowledge and contacts to pull off a caper like this.

She starts working at Hill’s Ad agency and quickly makes friends with the biggest gossip there; thus learning all the dirty secrets on everyone. Apparently Hill has had many affairs, all of which his wife is tired of. In fact, if he does it one more time, she’s leaving him. Now you might think, so what? He can get along without her. Wrong-o! Turns out Hill has nothing, nada, zip! His wife has the money, the company, EVERYTHING! He wouldn’t dare let her know that he was having another affair or else he would be kicked to the curb. He pretends to be the dutiful husband, going along with her to fertility tanks, because his wife is infertile. Sounds like a motive to me.

Then Ro witnesses what Hill does to people he thinks are betraying him. He beats up on one of his employees that he thinks is spilling secrets to their competitor.

Don’t make me angry

So more and more he is looking like the villain. But is it ever that easy?

Now there are a lot of web chatting, and online sex, and gross things…between her, TruBlue (random guy she meets online), and ADEX.

Oh and Ro has these weird flashbacks throughout the film that involve her father. They don’t outright say it, but strongly hint that he was molesting/raping her as a child. At times they become a mishmash of flashback/present day dream/nightmarelike things. They get very confusing at times.

Then the movie gets intense again. Ro has pretty much confirmed that ADEX is Hill. And she starts talking to him online AT WORK! I mean COME ON! HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?

I mean the stupidity level is on par with taking a shower when there are monsters running about. Just saying.

So of course she has stuff on her screen that she doesn’t want Hill to see, and he just HAS to come over to talk to her. The scene is actually pretty intense ands set up very well.

So Ro is able to get out of that tight spot, and turns down her boss’ offer to go out with him, wanting instead to keep things “professional”.

That night she meets up with Miles, once again being ¬†complete dermo (a word I created for loser/jerk who uses someone. I actually found out the definition for the “true” word isn’t that far off. Cool, huh?) to him. Miles brings a friend who works with the coroner. Apparently Grace was not just drowned but drugged with Belladonna and had some put in her eyes. Hill’s wife’s family has donated a ton of money to medical research, a majority of that which used Belladonna. Hmm…suspicious. Also, after she was poisoned, Grace was drowned. She was also pregnant. Things are looking worse and worse for Hill.

*At this point in the film I have already decided that it is not Hill. It is way too obvious and I think that there is another character who has a stronger motive, Hill’s wife. What if Grace approached the wife right after talking to Ro. Maybe the wife was one of those women who couldn’t stand to lose her man and would take out any woman who dared try to take him from her. What if all those past affairs have just been compounding on her brain all these years, and she just snaps hearing about this one. But the most likely motive; she couldn’t bear to hear that after trying so long to be pregnant and being infertile, that this little tramp got pregnant by her husband. The one thing she could not do, being done by some harlot? That’s enough to drive any woman to the brink of insanity. It would be easy, all she would have to do is meet up with Grace to see the proof, give her a drink laced with the Belladonna, which of course would be easy for her to get, and kill her. If she didn’t want to do it herself she has plenty of money to hire someone to do it for her.

Anyways, so Ro goes out with Hill after all to try and probe his mind a little. She ends up being slightly charmed by him instead.

The next day he comes to pick her up and we see his wife is creepin’ on them from a taxi. Makes her look totally suspicious.

Ro is trying to get into Hill’s computer to get a look at his emails. Miles give her a spyware program on a flashdrive, but it tkes some time so she has to do it when Hill won’t be around. She waits until after work, when everyone is gone and sticks it in. Only prob is, Hill hasn’t left yet. She’s caught red-handed.

She ends up making up a dumb story involving a private joke the two shared the night they went out.

For some strange reason he buys her answer and takes her out to dinner. They are having fun, making out, etc; and Ro leaves to go to the bathroom. And she leaves her purse and phone behind.

Okay, hold up now, what woman does that? What woman would leave to go to the bathroom and not take her purse and phone. Bad call writers, bad call.

So while she is gone her phone goes off, and Hill decides that he’s gonna read her text message. Seriously, who does that? Does he not understand the word “privacy”?

She comes back, and Hill starts driving her home. He stops in a random place and then starts yelling at her. Telling her he knows her secrets, that she is a spy from their rival competitors. Ro, trying to save herself, admits to it. Hill becomes so angry that he almost hits her.

Let’s rewind and back that up.¬†Almost hits her.¬†At this point in the film I knew it wasn’t him. He just had the sense that he would never hurt a woman. And I found it odd that the only thing he thought Ro was trying to discover about him was spying for another company? It just seemed off to me. I mean if he had killed Grace, Miles message would have made him think that Ro was onto him about that, yet the only thing that comes to mind is a rival company spy? Hmm….

So Ro is fired. Now this is where the story gets weird.

Miles decided to go in and save the day. The next day he pretends to be an IT guy for Hill, ready to do a complete inspection on Hill’s computer. Hill tells him to wait a bit and check out the office. He looks at these photographs done by¬†Mrs. Hill of eyes dilluted with¬†Belladonna.

At this point I’m completely sold on the fact that Mrs. H is the murderer.

Meanwhile, Ro goes to Miles house to make him dinner and discovers that he has some freaky, jacking-off, man-cave, room thing. Really gross and freaky. She also sees that Miles was TruBlue and had been sleeping with Grace.

ew! Gross Yuck

He also channeled Helga from Hey Arnold with a super creepy Ro shrine. Its actually talks and says “Miles is sexy” in Ro’s actual voice. Very sick.

Yeah, pretty freaky!

Miles comes home and Ro starts yelling at him, and accusing him of being the murderer. Miles admits he’s a freak but shows her Hill’s company’s website with the Belladonna pics. He is now absolutely convinced that Hill or his wife¬†killed Grace.¬†Ro still won’t listen and walks out, never wanting to speak to Miles again.

The next day she takes all her info to the police and they set up a sting to catch Hill. Everything pretty much falls apart as the evidence is so high against him. His wife gives some pretty damaging evidence against him. Hill is convicted and sent to jail.

Ro goes back to work and starts writing an article on everything that went on. She has a really great opening:

Ro: It’s a world where you *think* actions have no consequence, where guilt is cloaked by anonymity, where there are no fingerprints. An invisible universe filled with strangers, interconnected online and disconnected in life. It will steal your secrets, corrupt your dreams, and co-opt your identity. Because in this world, where you can be anything you want, any *one* you want, you just might lose sight of who you are.

So here, the movie seems pretty wrapped up, but you just know there has to be one last twist. I’m waiting for the wife to go crazy or be discovered or something.

So then we have this great shot of Mrs. Hill going to the medicine cabinet (where she kept the Belladonna) and opening it. Then we see gloved hands pull out some hair spray, unscew the bottom (like in Jurassic Park) and pull out Belladonna. The person is………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ro.

Yes Ro. Ro is trying to dump out her secret Belladonna down the drain. Ro then has a flashback and we get the whole story. Her father was going to molest her, when her mom stepped in and beat her dad with the fireplace poker. Instead of calling the cops they buried him in the backyard, and Grace saw the whole thing and has been blackmailing her for years. Watch the video:

Great ending. Only great part of the film.

I especially love how they review the scene between her and Grace. You know get the full meaning of the words that she used when talking to Ro.

The only thing I didn’t like was the moving around of Miles and Ro when he is¬†telling her he had it all figured out. I thought it was just weird. Ugh, and Miles was so gross trying to blackmail her into sleeping with him, yuck!

I love how in the end Hill wasn’t the “perfect stranger”, but they all were. Each character had secrets and things about them they were hiding; in the end being someone completely different than you expected.

So that’s today’s freaky tale. More are on the way.

PerfectStranger

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To go to the beginning of¬†Horrorfest, go to¬†I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to¬†Universal’s Classic Monster Movies

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For more on unrequited love, go to Feast Your Eyes On My Accursed Ugliness

Horrorfest: 31 Tales of Terror and Woe

Well, as you all know Halloween is coming! It’s one of my favorite times of the year! Not only do you get to dress up in costumes and eat loads of candy, but you also have…………………………………………………………………………………………..

HORROR FILMS!!!!

I love Horror films and LOVE watching them. To get into the Halloween spirit, I’m going to be posting reviews of my favorite horror/suspense/halloweeny films, and ones I’ve seen that aren’t that good. My goal is to randomly select a movie and post a review every day in October. Hopefully I’ll meet my goal! (Fingers Crossed). Just so you know each post may contain spoilers! I know that this has nothing to do with Jane Austen, but I love holidays and celebrating them.

Get ready for one amazing scarefest coming your way!