They Choose the Wrong Person to Be a Hero: Dark Crystal (1982)

They choose the wrong person to be a hero

So I wrote this post in May, long before Netflix did their prequel TV show, so I’m actually on pointe without planning it.

I’m surprised

Now since that show came out, I have seen AAAAAA LOOOOOOOOOT of love for this movie. If this movie was your favorite thing ever, just walk away from this post now. I can already tell you won’t like it.

So I have been wanting to watch this movie for a loooong time. We had a copy at the library, but someone stole it.

The people who steal things from the library will have a special place in hell for their misdeeds.

My friend felt the same way, so when we saw it on Amazon Prime we started watching it.

Finally!

I did not care for it at all.

I had like no clue what was going on…

Neither of us could

Although Jen did have a fantastic ’80s glam rock hairdo.

Jen is probably the least heroic hero I have ever seen in a film. He couldn’t do anything!

Kira is awesome!

She’s the one that had to carry the film. She should have been the chosen one and saved the day! She was the cool one that kicked butt.

This whole film reminded me a bit of The Black Cauldron– guy secluded away by a warrior, meets a girl who is more awesome, have to stop evil but in reality someone else giving their life actually saves the world. But Taran was a much more likable than Jen.

As I said earlier, Kira was awesome! I mean she could fly, was brave, strong, an interesting character. She should have been the chosen one, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

I didn’t like it! I mean visually it was interesting but story wise I thought it was kind of a mess.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more ’80s films, go to Basil of Baker Street: The Great Mouse Detective (1986)

 

A Hidden Wonder

Day 5) An Underrated Movie

The Black Cauldron is highly underrated as it has a bunch of great characters and scenes. I know I talked about it during my first Horrorfest.

So I actually never saw this film as a kid. My mother thought it would scare me. It would come on TV and I remember it coming out of the vault and being on all kinds of commercials. I even had a toy Gurgi that I got in a McDonald’s happy meal.

So how did I finally stumble onto this work? Well, I really like the author Lloyd Alexander, as I have read his book Time Cat. Two years ago, I decided that I would read through the The Chronicles of Prydain series as it is his most famous work and what The Black Cauldron is a part of. The book series was really good except I wish the Horned King was in more of it and as the series wraps itself up, the last books are not as nearly good as the first ones. Anyways, so after I had read the series I checked out the film and of course did the I’m No Warrior, I’m an Assistant Pig-Keeper post. But in that post I compared the film and the book as I had just finished reading the series.

So the film The Black Cauldron is a compilation of the first two books in the series; The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron. And I thought it was pretty good. I mean some parts were film corny, but I really liked it. In fact, I am appalled that more people have never heard of it or seen it. It really deserves more love.

“Legend has it, in the mystic land of Prydain, there was once a king so cruel and so evil, that even the Gods feared him. Since no prison could hold him, he was thrown alive into a crucible of molten iron. There his demonic spirit was captured in the form of a great, black cauldron. For uncounted centuries, the black cauldron lay hidden, waiting, while evil men searched for it, knowing whoever possessed it would have the power to resurrect an army of deathless warriors… and with them, rule the world.”

So the film is about Taran, an assistant pig-keeper, who dreams of becoming a great warrior. He finds out that the pig her cares for, Hen Wen, is in danger as she is an oracular  pig and that the evil Horned King is after her. The Horned King needs her to find the Black Cauldron to bring to life the dead, creating a zombie army.

An actual army of the undead. That is much more creepy than this guy.

Taran accidentally allows Hen Wen to be captured and travels after her, saving and getting the creature Gurgi as a follower. He comes to the Horned King’s castle and there he finds a captured princess, Princess Eilonwy, a ministrel named Fflewddur Fflam, and a magic sword. The journey on to destroy the Black Cauldron, meeting up with fairies, witches, and battle the Horned King.

It’s funny, but now that I think about it, this film in a lot of ways reminds me of Star Wars.

Now it has a lot of great characters.

First we have Taran, a young boy who dreams of achieving something greater. Think Luke Skywalker, eager to leave what he feels is an inadequate existence. He wants more, he wants to fight the Dark Sith Lo…I mean Horned King.  At times he is a bit silly, as every young boy who is trying to find his way is, but in all he’s a great character. You just love him.

Then we have Eilonwy. Now people always forget this princess, but she rocks.

She tooootally kicks butt. She is like the animated version of Princess Leia. She has been caught by the evil Horned King, but isn’t waiting around, she’s trying to get out of there. She never let’s anyone push her around because of her size or gender:

“Taran: What does a girl know about swords, anyway?

Eilonwy: “Girl”? “Girl”? If it wasn’t for this *girl*, you would still be in the Horned King’s dungeon.”

And this film has one of the all-time creepiest villains ever! The Horned King!

Oh man, he is a creep. Horrifying and Incredibly Horrible.

This is a great film, you should totally watch it!

Check out the trailer!

So since this film reminded me of Star Wars so much I decided to give it something a little extra.

Hope you liked it! Stay tuned for more Disney stuff.

For more on The Black Cauldron, go to I’m No Warrior, I’m an Assistant Pig-Keeper

And to see more posts on Star Wars, go to True Princess

For more on Disney Princesses, go to Belle of the Ball

For more on Disney Heros, go to Prince of a Man

For more on Disney, go to The Cat’s Meow

For more on Time Cat, go to Pot o’ Gold

For more films based on books, go to A Letter of Love

For more on Horrorfest check out Horrorfest and Horrorfest II

 

I’m No Warrior, I’m an Assistant Pig-Keeper: The Black Cauldron (1985)

I’m no warrior…I’m an assistant pig-keeper

So I was never allowed to watch this film as a kid. My mother thought it would scare me. I grew up liking the author Lloyd Alexander, as I have read his book Time Cat. This year I decided that I would finally read The Chronicles of Prydain series, of which The Black Cauldron is a part of. The book series was really good except I wish the Horned King was in more of it and as the series wraps itself up, the books don’t hold up to the beginning ones.

So the film The Black Cauldron is a compilation of the first two books in the series; The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron. I thought the film was okay. Some parts of the film were good; while others a tad corny. I do recommend it to everyone as the end was really good.

Taran was perfect! They made him in that awkward age of when a boy wants to be a man, but hasn’t quite reached the right age of maturity. They depicted his superior side, as he thinks he’s better than Eilonwy; along with showing him leaving behind his immature side and becoming a real man.

As he makes the right decision of giving up his magic sword to get the black cauldron and destroy it.

Eilonwy was also fantastic. They captured her attitude of trying to do everything and being extremely brave; but at the same time not always listening to others or doing what needs to be done. She can be really impulsive and imagine slights that aren’t there. She is also kind; along with not only helping Taran, but leading him as well.

Fflewddur Fflam was also perfect. He was older than I imagined him; but captured the boasting, brave, singer. I loved him at the end. He was hilarious as he tries to bargain with the witches.

Gurgi was adorable, I actually had a toy figure of him that I got from McDonalds, but I never knew who he was until I watched the film. They captured his constant hunger and good heart; but he was unfortunately much more cowardly than he was ever in the book. When he sacrifices himself, it was so sad. It made you feel guilty for originally thinking him annoying. This was never how I saw Gurgi, as I always imagined him more like this pokemon:

For some reason he always brought the image of a monkey-like creature to my mind.

Sorry, this is the only pic I could find of Doli. I thought they captured his character so well. He was a grumpy, complaining, elf. The only thing I wish they had done was make him a bit bigger and have him turn invisible.

The witches were also good. I did notice that Orddu resembles Madame Medusa from The Rescuers. I wish I had a better pic of it, but I couldn’t find one. If you watch the film you will notice the resemblance.

Of course there was the pièce de résistance. the Horned King!

He was extremely creepy! I loved it. He probably would have freaked me out as a kid. He is on par with the Headless Horseman. He was so creepy and scary!

Check out the trailer!

So that’s today’s frightful Friday. More posts to come.

Here’s a cover page/poster I made for my facebook as part of my countdown to Halloween

To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

To go to the previous post, go to A Halloween Hello from the Austen Men

For more on The Black Cauldron, go to A Hidden Wonder

For more Disney Animated Film, go to A Fright on Halloween Night

For more films based on books, go to I Bid You Welcome

For more ’80s film, go to Boom Box of Love

For more on Emma, go to Bad Penny

For more on Lloyd Alexander, go to Pot o’ Gold