It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

I blame her for my high expectations of men and obsessions that she caused. I mean the men she created are just tooooo perfect!

Mr. Darcy

The many handsome men who have played Mr. Darcy

So here we have a guy that acts like a total jerk, I mean absolutely awful, but then does a complete 360 when he realizes that he was horrible to the girl he loved. Not only does he do everything he can to change Elizabeth’s opinion of him but does everything he can to help her and her family.

Seriously:

I mean look at how he tells her he loves her (I mean past all the your family is horrible stuff)

 

I admire and love you! So romantic!

So romantic!

 Seriously!

For more on Mr. Darcy, go to Mr. Darcy is a Charmer

Colonel Brandon

Here is a guy who loved a girl and lost her to someone else. He loved her so much he was willing to raise her daughter and treat her as his own. He then falls for another girl and watches her fall for another, less worthy of her, but does nothing but try to be her friend through it all. When she is in trouble he is willing to do anything, risk any storm, travel over many miles all for her.

So romantic!

Seriously:

Yes, you are.

For more on Colonel Brandon, go to Let’s Hear It for the Boys

Mr. Knightly

He’s loved Emma for a while but thinks that she deserves more. So instead of saying anything or doing anything he stays content being her friend and helping her through every mess she throws herself into. I mean he travels through any element to be by Emma’s side; he’s better than the post office.

He also likes her for more than just her beauty and charm as he loves her mind. He’s a man of substance and wants a women who can challenge him and his thinking.

Because he knows her father’s delicate state of mind and that he wouldn’t survive without his daughter around, he gives up living at his house and moves in with her. Can you imagine a wealthy guy who’s been used to having everything his way, give up that independence so that he can make his bride and father-in-law happy? Aw, he is sooooooooo romantic!

For more on Mr. Knightly, go to Obviously You Never Met George Knightly

Mr. Tilney

Here is a guy who threw away his inheritance all for Catherine. He loved her so much, he didn’t care that she wasn’t rich, he didn’t care that he would be cut off; all he cared about was making Catherine his wife.

So romantic!

Yep Mr. Tilney is perfect for me. Not only do I think so but it has been confirmed by Buzzfeed.

Click here to find out who your Austen soulmate is.

For more on Mr. Tilney, go to Storybook Ending

Capt. Wentwoth

So here we have a guy who loved this girl so much and had his heartbroken by her. He thought that she broke up with him because he was poor. He has made a huge success of himself, is rich, but has never forgotten her.

He comes on leave and runs into her. He thinks he is over her, but tries to make her jealous by hanging around with other girls. However, he realizes that he still cares for her and when he finds out that  she didn’t dump him because he was poor, he begins to hope again.

Then doing everything he can to win her back and make her dreams come true.

He writes the most absolutely beautiful “let’g get back together” letter ever imaginable.

For more on Capt. Wentworth, go to A Letter of Love

Guys pay attention:

But I haven’t given up hope! Someday…

Just stay calm

For more on Jane Austen, go to For Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to How to Catch a Man

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Emma, go to Take a Chill Pill John Knightly

For more on Northanger Abbey, go to Project Runway

For more on Persuasion, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more bookish posts, go to The Two Times to Be Over

For more quizzes, go to Viva La Révolution

For more of my favorite quotes, go to But It’s Alright

They’re Coming To Get You Barbara: Night of the Living Dead (1968)

 They’re coming for you, Barbara! 

This is such an amazing film! George A. Romero is truly an amazing screenplay writer and director.

I actually saw the sequel first, Return of the Living Dead, on AMC’s old Friday Fright Nights, but d wasn’t able to watch the original  film until much later. The sequel is no where as  creepy as this one, and the only watchable sequel in my opinion.

One of the things that makes this film so revolutionary and a cult classic is that it is one of the first films about zombies to depict them as actual living dead and not mind control, like in White Zombie or Revolt of the Zombies. It also has the zombies being created by radiation instead of being controlled by the “third eye”.

I also love how the zombies are true zombies and not any of these super soldiers they make them to be now. The zombies are living dead, so they move slow as their flesh is rotting. They are also destroyed by fire or a shot to the head.

It’s a great zombie film!

The film begins with Barbara and her brother, Johnny, going to a cemetery to put flowers on their father’s grave. While they are there, Johnny starts teasing his sister; trying to freak her out. He sees a man approaching and pretends that it is a “ghoul” after her.

The man turns out to be a zombie attacks Barbara. Johnny tries to help her, but hits his head on a gravestone. Barbara runs away from the zombie chasing her, and holes up in a farmhouse.

Now Barbara is extremely freaked out, but even though she is traumatized she doesn’t just sit around but  searches for a knife to protect herself. She ends up being joined by another, Ben, who stops at the house when his car runs out of gas.

Ben is the best character in the film as he dies everything he can to keep them safe. By this time Barbara is pretty much incoherent as she has gone into complete shock.

They are later joined by others trying to escape these zombie attacks. The film switches from being just a horror film, to being a survival film. We see what everyone’s true characters are as they show how they act in intense situations.

The movie is fantastic and has a completely unexpected ending.

It is a wonderfully done film, with complex characters, definitely worth watching! And because of a mistake it is public domain and can be viewed on almost any streaming site along with YouTube.

That’s it for this fearsome Friday! More posts to come! 5 days ’till Halloween!

Here’s a poster/cover photo I made for my facebook as part of my Halloween countdown

To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to From the Sea Burning With Fire

For more on zombies, go to When Potatoes Go Bad

For more on monster movies, go to I Want Friend Like Me

For more films that spanned sequels, go to Someone Very Special

Quite A Horror Story: Agatha Christie’s Poirot Hallowe’en Party (2011)

She is…a teller of the tall tales, a boaster, a little liar. So when she claims to have witnessed the murder, nobody believes her. And yet, she is… dead. 

So this was a film done by the BBC based on Agatha Christie’s novel, Hallowe’en Party. I think David Suchet is a perfect Poirot, as he looks just the way I always imagined Poirot to look like. However, something I don’t like about the modern retellings, is that  they tend to change a lot of the plot lines of the novel, and usually not for the better (Third Girl was awful. They didn’t use the best twist from the book). Rarely do I watch the film version before reading the book, which I did here, so I didn’t have the same unpleasantness as seeing them change plot lines that I thought were crucial in the book.

So the film starts out with Poirot’s friend, and mystery writer extraordinaire, Ariadne Oliver helping with a children’s Halloween party. All the kids are playing around, laughing, bobbing for apples, eating candy, etc. A little girl named Joyce starts talking to Oliver, telling her that she once witnessed a murder. Everyone makes fun of her, teasing and insulting her as she tends to always tell “tall tales”. No one believes her.

Later the children are all playing snapdragon, which they make sound so creepy. Instead of playing background music throughout the film, they play the children’s voices chanting the song in unison. It is as creepy as The Crucible scene when the girls are all “possessed”.

After the game is done, they are rounding up the children and discover Joyce missing. She is found drowned in a bucket that was used for bobbing for apples.

Oliver wastes no time at all, but immediately calls in Poirot to solve the case.

Poirot immediately looks into which murders in the town are unsolved, to see which ones have the potential to be the one Joyce saw. Many try to discourage him from doing so, telling him that Joyce was a liar and a storyteller. She did it to feel important and show off. Poirot is firmly decided that whether or not Joyce was telling the truth, someone out there is guilty of murder and thinks Joyce was a witness.

The possibilities of who Joyce might have seen are Mrs. Llewellyn-Smythe, the aunt of Rowena Drake’s late husband, apparently died of a heart attack. Her death is suspicious because of her will, it said that her au pair was to inherit everything over the family. Authorities believe that it was faked by the au pair, Olga Seminoff, who mysteriously disappeared after the forgery was discovered. Other candidates for murder involve Charlotte Benfield, a sixteen-year-old shop assistant found dead of multiple head injuries; Lesley Ferrier, a lawyer’s clerk who was stabbed in the back; and Janet White, a schoolteacher who was strangled.

Which one is the murder Joyce saw? Who committed it? Did Joyce even see a murder occur? Just like The Bad Seed, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and The Secret Window, this is one you have to check out for yourself and see where the truth lies.

The only thing I don’t like about this film, is the fact that Poirot disapproves of those who take enjoyment in such a holiday as Halloween. He thinks the macabre is not something you should be so joyous about. Well, I don’t; I love watching horror movies and getting into Halloween. That’s why I did my 31 Tales of Terror and Woe. In fact today marks 11 days left to Halloween! 😀

Here’s today’s scary post. More to come!

To start Horrorfest from the begining, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to I’m No Warrior, I’m an Assistant Pig-Keeper

For more on murder, go to Camp Blood

For more on Masterpiece Theater, go to A Hunky Helping of Manwich

For more on Halloween parties, go to A River of Candy Corn Runs Through It

For more film adaptions of books, go to I Bid You Welcome

For more on bobbing for apples, go to A Halloween Hello from the Austen Men