Every Three Thousand Years, the Stars Align. Unleashing an Army of Monsters: TMNT (2007)

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Every three thousand years, the stars align. Unleashing an army of monsters.

If you’ve been following me you’ve read this already, but for the new readers I’m giving a little background as to why I choose a TMNT film. If you have seen it already, feel free to skip ahead

So this is our second installment of four reviews of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ films.

So I know those of you who haven’t been following me, and have stumbled upon this post are probably really confused. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? As a horror film? NO WAY.

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I know you are all saying to yourselves, hey this is a superhero movie, not a horror film. Au contraire, you see the turtles are radioactively enhanced to be larger; agile, smarter, etc. In fact the only thing that separates them from other radioactively changed creatures: such as the ants in Them, the giant spider in the Tarantula, or even Godzilla. They choosing to use their abilities for good and be superheroes doesn’t change the fact of how they were made.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

So last week I started with the 2014 film as it contained a lot of horror film components, as these turtles are engineered in a lab instead of accidentally created, just like Frankenstein.

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Today we are doing the 2007 version/remake. In this one we have a lot of horror film components, I mean we have giant stones turning into monsters and trying to destroy New York City. So no use waiting around:

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The Review

So as you know I hate remakes and sequels.

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I was not excited about this film coming out at all. It’s going to suck. I just knew I would hate it.

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But my nephew loved the film and wanted me to watch it with him when it came out. What are you gonna do? It’s family!

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But I was right. It was horrible.

Ew Yuck Gross

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TMNT

So the film starts off with long narration about an Aztec warrior finding a portal to another dimension granting him immortality but his generals were turned to stone. It also released 13 monsters, everything from Bigfoot to the Jersey Devil.

Flashforward to present times, after the defeat of the Shredder, the turtles have broken up.

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Yes…I’ll get to that later. So Leonardo was sent to central America to train to be a leader and hasn’t returned. Since then, the remaining turtles have been working

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Yes…I know. More later. With Raphael doing vigilante things at night.

April is working as a relic acquirer

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And not a reporter

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Yes…I know. More later. She runs into Leonardo and convinces him to come back. He does and him and Raphael fight all the time.

OVERDONE

OVERDONE

April delivers the statue she find to the uber rich Max Winters, makes me think of Shreck from Batman Returns, and he hires the Foot clan to hunt down the 13 monsters.

The Generals awaken and help hunt down the monsters, but when they discover they won’t be immortal with all 13, they want to betray Winters.

Thanks to Casey, they’ve discovered the Aztec warrior is Winters and try to help him. Meanwhile Leonardo hates the vigilante Raphael is secretly, and tries to stop him. When he finds out it is Raphael, the two fight and Leonardo ends up getting captured by the generals as the 13 monster.

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And in the end they save the day, destroy the monsters, and reunite.

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So why did I hate it? Let’s count down!

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1) CGI

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The CGI was horrible. They looked awful and boxy and just bad. I would have preferred 2D. I mean look at Casey, his whole face and body, just no.

Not the right one.

Not the right one.

And it’s not like CGI was still working out the kinks. I mean you had some good stuff like RatatouilleMeet the Robinsons, I mean even the dumb movies like The Bee Movie and Alvin and the Chipmunks had good CGI. This was just bad.

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2) Instead of the Turtle Background We are Focusing on Aztec Warrior Meets Monsters Meets Multiple Dimensions

WOW

WOW

I know this is so strange. They give the turtle background as to who they are, how they were created, and such like three lines! Three LINES!

Four turtles. Four brothers. Genetically reborn in the sewers of New York. Named after the Renaissance masters and trained as ninjas.

And then we are supposed to give our attention to this Yactl or whatever, his generals turning into stone, immortality gift, blah blah…

Blah, blah

Blah, blah

Our full attention?

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I PAID TO SEE A TURTLE FILM!!! I WANT THE TURTLES!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

I mean really, out of all the comic written, this is the back story you want to give us???!!! OUT OF EVERYTHING??? Who was paid to write that? If it had been up to me, as soon as I read that, they would have been FIRED!!!

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3) Why Was the Main Warrior Not Turned to Stone?

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So how come Yactl was not turned to stone but all the generals were? They never really seem to explain why he was the only one given the immortality. Then again maybe they did, but my mind glazed over when I had to pay attention to the most non-turtle Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle film.

Yes film you are so bad you are forcing me to reference not just the Master of Disguise, but its stupidest scene to talk about how I feel.

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4) The Turtles are Split Up

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Hey guys let me point you to the title of the comics and the films: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yes did you get that? TurtleS!!!!!!! TurtlesSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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YOU CAN’T EVEN GET THAT RIGHT!!!!!! THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MORE THAN ONE TURTLE FIGHTING!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

It is so stupid! It makes no sense!!!!

Yes, they split the turtles up and send Leonardo to South America, why I don’t know. It’s dumb, it makes no sense, just argh!. They are supposed to be a team! When I paid for my ticket I paid to see four turtles not one on his own. And it makes no sense why they would split them up? Like seriously, who wanted that. Did any of these people read the comics or watch the TV show/films. I mean seriously!!!

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Let’s move on…

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5) April is Not a Reporter but Tomb Raider

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April is not a reporter…

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Yes April is not a reporter…

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April is not a reporter but a tomb raider…

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Yes no matter how many times I say it, it still sounds dumb. Why isn’t she a reporter? I mean how could she even go from reporter to tomb raider. It’s not like she’s an archeologist or anthropologist, or knows any of that stuff at all. And I SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A REPORTER!!!!!

And to ease the suckage of this film

And to ease the suckage of this film

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6) The Turtles Have Jobs

WHAT!

WHAT!

The TURTLES have JOBS?!!!!!!

Stop stop it now!

Just end the film here because that is literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

So you are telling me GIANT, MUTANT, GREEN, TURTLES with no social security numbers, good contact info, experience, etc are able to have jobs?

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And let’s just forget about the social security number, experience, education; you know all those things you need to work and focus on this tiny little issue: GIANT, MUTANT, GREEN, TURTLES!!!!!!!!!

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How do GIANT, MUTANT, GREEN, TURTLES get jobs? Huh HOW?!!!!!!!!!! This is just so stupid that if I think about it any longer my IQ will drop.

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7) Why is Raphael the Nightwatcher?

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So Raphael is the only one continuing to fight crime and be a ninja superhero. But instead of continuing as himself, he has faux batman gear and even takes on a faux Batman name with Nightwatcher (similar to Nightwing). I mean why does he even have to dress up? He is a giant turtle!!! And why hide it? Just because Leonardo is gone they can’t be vigilantes anymore? That makes NO SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are driving me insane!!!!

You are driving me insane!!!!

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8) No Shredder

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While its true you don’t have to have a Shredder to make a TMNT film, you notice how much they suck when they don’t have one. Like this movie, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. I mean Shredder and Turtles just go together, it’d be like making macaroni and cheese with no macaroni.

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9) The Convoluted Plot

Nope, not him.

It feels like they spend hours talking about Yactl, the monsters, dimensions, blah blah blah.

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I totally checked out from this film. I mean I came to see TMNT, not all this useless drivel they keep trying to push. Just dumb, dumb, dumb.

big mistake

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10) Raphael and Leonardo Fight Over Who is the Leader

Stop stop it now!

Ugh I hate this plot thread. It is too:

OVERDONE

OVERDONE

I mean it worked in the first film, but because of that it doesn’t mean you have to do it non-stop!! Just do something else. I swear that if I see this repeated one more time in a TMNT film(not counting the 2014 one) I will be held responsible for me actions.

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!

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11) The End

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It was horrible, dumb, and I didn’t like it. The only thing that was good was that it was over!

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Good-bye forever!

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Yes this film was horrible, just horrible. I mean it was so bad, it made the 2014 film look good. For all their faults, at least they tried to make a TMNT film that actually centered on the TMNT.

Well that’s it for this post. Next week I’ll be reviewing the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle film. How does it compare? How does it hold up? Well, all those questions will be answered in seven days.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

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For more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, go to Heroes are Not Born, They’re Created: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

For more sucky remakes, go to Don’t F*** With the Original: Scre4m (2011)

For more alternate dimensions, go to There’s Nothing Out There. Nothing in the Mist: The Mist (2007)

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In other news today is our 800th post

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For the 700th post, go to Fan-do or Fan-don’t. There is No Fan-try

For the 600th post, go to There Are Thirteen Chairs at the Table…And That’s Unlucky: Mystery of the 13th Guest (1943)

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Return of the Fandom

Fandom

So we are back with our usual scheduled fandom posts. Here are another group of things I have fandomed over. I hope they strike your FANcy and that you check them out for yourselves.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

TMNT

Go here to see what movie you are

I am a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT) fan.

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In fact, as I am currently writing this I am wearing my TMNT shirt. Yeah I fandom to the extreme.

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Not in a sewer extreme, but you get my point.

So for those of you who for some strange reason might not know who the Turtles are; they are a group of four boy turtles who are raised by a rat named Splinter. He named them after the great artists: Donatello, Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo. They come across some mutagen, and become more humanlike. Splinter teaches them ninjutsu and they become vigilante superheroes; saving the people of New York. One of their biggest villains is the leader of the Foot clan and the man who killed Splinter’s owner,Oroku Saki, also known as the Shredder.

So I grew up watching the ’80s TV show and while very silly it was a lot of fun. You have the four turtles who are reared by Splinter, solving crime and kicking Shredder butt. For those of you who have never watched this, Shredder is aided by his two dumb as rock minions, RockSteady and Bebop, a mutant rhino and warthog; along with a banished brain alien from Dimension, Krang. They also aasist April in outwitting her annoying, egotistical, jerk of a coworker, Vernon.

The boys team up with the awesome April O’Neil, along with her friend Irma (who has a crush on one of the turtles. Even though she is older and a girl). And of course the amazing Casey Jones, vigilante athlete.

And let’s not forget that the show had one great theme song!

Now while I liked the show, I LOVED the TMNT movies of the ’90s. I used to watch them over and over again;

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And my sister, friends, and I would act them all out. I was always Donatello.

The first two in the series: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991) were the best in the series. The characters were played perfectly. In the first film we have a great introduction and backstory into how the turtles were created and learned to be ninjas. In the second they see the return of Shredder and having to fight other mutant beings.

The third one they go back in time to Japan. It isn’t horrible, but not as nearly as awesome as the first two.

In fact I urge you to watch the 1990 film as it really was just so, so, so, so amazing.

I hated the newer film TMNT (2007) as it sucked and made no sense at all. And don’t get me started on the Michael Bay version, as they look creepy and I hate Megan Fox. In fact I have decided that this October I am going to review all the live action TNMT filmsAs they have been mutated, they fall under a horror film.

But besides those horrible later depictions, I have always loved the turtles and wished they were real and that I could hang out with them.

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For more on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, go to Pizza Power

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 The Thorn Birds

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So my friend was really into the Thorn Birds, I had never heard of it before. She suggested we watch it,

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but unfortunately she didn’t own it, it was too much for us to buy, and our university library didn’t have it. But our county library did, although only on VHS. Luckily I had a VHS player so that was okay.

Strangely, someone else was watching the mini series while we were. We had to wait for the next installment, almost like how it would to watch it when it aired.

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So the series is a historical romance. It begins in the early 20th century when the Cleary family moves to Australia. Paddy Cleary and his wife have four sons and one daughter, Meggie. Paddy’s sister, Mary, owns a huge ranch, and offers him a job there.

When they arrive the meet the very handsome priest, Ralph de Bricassart (Richard Chamberlain), who has been sent to the ends of the earth for insulting a bishop. He is very ambitious and has befriended Mary in order to woo out a dig donation so he can go back to “civilization.” Mary lusts after Ralph and wants him, but he refuses to break his vows for her.

Not everything is happy in the Cleary family. Mrs. Cleary, Fee, loves her oldest son Frank the most and ignores her other children, except for treating Meggie cruelly. Paddy loves his sons, except Frank, and ignores Meggie as well.

The youngest son, Hal dies; and Frank is revealed to not be Paddy’s son, but the child of his mother and her lover. When he left her and she found out she was pregnant, her wealthy family married her off to the stablehand who was in love with her. After this comes out Frank leaves the home to find his own fortune.

Meanwhile, Ralph has been taking care of Meg at the parsonage; making sure she has the attention and care a child needs. Meg idolizes Ralph and crushes on him. Meggie grows, the two develop feelings for each other and Ralph tries to stay far away from her. Mary notices the attraction and writes two wills, one in which Paddy inherits 13 million and one where it all goes to the Catholic Church. She gives both to Ralph who must decide on what to do.

There is a lot more betrayal, love, bad decisions, and drama in the series, but I don’t want to give it all to you. It was a pretty good show, with interesting characters. A little soap operay, but still interesting. And of course the main reason why I kept watching, Richard Chamberlain. That man was built to perfection.

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Touched by an Angel

This was one of my favorite TV shows of the ’90s. I used to watch this all the time.

The TV show is about three angels who are sent on Earth to help bring guidance or messages from God. The first angel is Monica (Roma Downey) who is young and inexperienced angel. She takes on an every day job to get closer to her person, and approaches them when they are in the crossroads of a decision. Her older mentor Tess (Della Reese) is there to make sure she doesn’t reveal herself to be an angel too early.

There was also the angel Andrew (John Dye) who I absolutely loved, but was always sad to see as he was the Angel of Death, there to take a life to heaven.

It was a truly great and inspirational show. Netflix and Amazon, bring it to streaming!

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Twin Peaks

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Twin Peaks was an awesome show that had, sadly, a very short run. It was directed and written by David Lynch who loved to do things about beautiful perfect places, that have secrets and dark things under the surface.

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It starts with a young, perfect, beautiful, straight-A student, Laura Palmer body being found. Why would anyone want to kill her? It turns out that her murder is similar to others that have occurred, bring in FBI agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlen) to investigate.

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When he gets to the town he discovers a crazy group of characters as he searches for the truth. Everything from adultery, betrayal, prostitution, investment schemes, drugs, etc. lie underneath the peaceful scenery.

Agent Dale Cooper, how can I describe him?

To see who you are, go here.

To see who you are, go here.

is the absolute best as he is adorable, strong, brave, courageous, poetic, intelligent. Just dreamy…I love him.

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There are a lot of great supporting cast too. I really like Audrey Horne. Little rich girl, but trying to be more. I just loved her and Dale together, but I know it would never work as she is too young. She is a really great character.

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I also loved the Donna and James storyline, but the actress who played Donna originally was replaced. I liked the first person better.

Some people think this show is too “dramatic” but it revolutionized TV, and a lot of later mystery shows we have today never would have been created. Without its groundbreaking there would be no Veronica Mars, The Killing, Pretty Little Liars, etc.

And for those who are major fans like me, you’ll love the Psych parody episode, Dual Spires in which a large portion of the original cast was willing to guest star.

And I am so excited that it is coming back. I just can’t wait until it is up!

For more Twin Peaks, go to Stranger Things Have Happened

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For more on the Nostalgia Critic, go to Gypsy Justice: Thinner (1996)

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For the previous post, go to The Fan, The Girl

And Stay tuned for part 25

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LifeasaFangirl

Episode III: Revenge of the My Favorite Movie Lines List

Remember back in 2007, when all those threequels came out? Spider-man 3, Shrek the 3rd, etc. While I’ve created a threequel of my own. Yes it is back and once again in no particular order, but my favorite movie quotes are here for your enjoyment!

201)”President Grant: [To West] Not every situation calls for your patented approach of “shoot first, shoot later, shoot some more and then when everybody’s dead try to ask a question or two.”–Wild, Wild, West (1999)

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202)”George Bailey: Just a minute… just a minute. Now, hold on, Mr. Potter. You’re right when you say my father was no businessman. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap, penny-ante Building and Loan, I’ll never know. But neither you nor anyone else can say anything against his character, because his whole life…he never once thought of himself. Isn’t that right, Uncle Billy? He didn’t save enough money to send Harry away to college, let alone me. But he did help a few people get out of your slums, Mr. Potter, and what’s wrong with that? Why… here, you’re all businessmen here. Doesn’t it make them better citizens? Doesn’t it make them better customers?…They had to wait and save their money before they even ought to think of a decent home. Wait? Wait for what? Until their children grow up and leave them? Until they’re so old and broken down that they… Do you know how long it takes a working man to save $5,000? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you’re talking about… they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn’t think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they’re cattle. Well in my book, my father died a much richer man than you’ll ever be! “–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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203)”Marion: I don’t like crooks. And if I did like ’em, I wouldn’t like crooks that are stool pigeons. And if I did like crooks that are stool pigeons, I still wouldn’t like you.”–The Thin Man (1934)

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204)”Lady Claire:[Interpreting for Marek] He is very grateful you returned his sister.
Lord Arnaut:[Picks up his sword threateningly at Marek]You’re English.
Andre Marek:[Hurriedly]No, I’m Scottish.
Lady Claire: Arnaut, he saved the life of one of your men.
Lord Arnaut: You’re Scottish, huh?
Andre Marek: Yes.
Lord Arnaut:In that case, I do not know how to express my gratitude.”–Timeline (2003)

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205)”Genie: [turns into a cheerleader] Rick ’em, rack ’em, rock ’em, rake! Stick that sword into that snake!
Jafar: You sssstay out of thissss!
Genie: [Weakly] Jafar, Jafar, he’s our man; if he can’t do it, GREAT!”–Aladdin (1992)

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206)”Godfrey: Tommy, there’s a very peculiar mental process called thinking – you wouldn’t know much about that – but when I was living here I did a lot of it.”–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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207)”Mary Bennet: What are men compared to rocks and mountains? “–Pride and Prejudice (2005)

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208)”George Bailey: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll give you the moon, Mary.”–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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209)”Nora Charles: Oh, Nicky, I love you because you know such lovely people. “–The Thin Man (1934)

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210)”Cassandra: I don’t believe I’ve ever had French champagne before…
Benjamin Kane: Oh, actually all champagne is French; it’s named after the region. Otherwise it’s sparkling white wine. Americans of course don’t recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white “champagne”, even though by definition they’re not.
Wayne Campbell: Ah yes, it’s a lot like “Star Trek: The Next Generation”. In many ways it’s superior but will never be as recognized as the original.”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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211)”Irene: [in a singsong voice] Cornelia lost her pearls, and I’ve got mine! Cornelia lost her pearls, and I’ve got mine!Cornelia lost her pearls, and I’ve got mine!–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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212)”Elizabeth Bennet: Oh Mr. Darcy, Miss Bingley here is eager for her lesson. I hope you will enjoy it, Miss Bingley, and that you will learn to direct your darts with greater accuracy.”–Pride and Prejudice (1940)

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213)”Genie: Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.”–Aladdin (1992)

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214)”April: Why don’t I ever dream of Harrison Ford?”–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

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215)”[Artemus is wearing a bulletproof vest]
Artemus Gordon: I only have one request: that you aim for my heart, my heart which has loved this country so much.
Dr. Arliss Loveless: Shoot him in the head.
Artemus Gordon: [quietly] D***!”–Wild, Wild, West (1999)

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216)”Marek: We’re speaking the same language, but you don’t understand a word I’m saying, do you?
Lady Claire: No.”–Timeline (2003)

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217)”Nick Charles: Who was that?
Nora Charles: Oh, you wouldn’t know them, darling. They’re respectable.”–After the Thin Man (1936)

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218)”Elizabeth Bennett: Oh, if you want to be really refined, you have to be dead. There’s no one as dignified as a mummy.”–Pride and Prejudice (1940)

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219)”Kay Weston: This country is crawling with Indians, and you’re going fishing.
Matt Calder: There are lots of ways to die. Starving to death isn’t my favorite.”–River of No Return (1954)

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220)”Loveless Hentchman: [Doing Karate moves] I learned that from a China man
Capt. James West: [Kickes up a shovel and hits him in the face] I just made that up .”–Wild, Wild, West (1999)

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221)”Clarence: Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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222)”Nora Charles: Waiter, will you serve the nuts? I mean, will you serve the guests the nuts?”–The Thin Man (1934)

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223)”Delivery Man: Hey, this is a 10. The tab is 13.
Michaelangelo: You’re two minutes late, dude.
Delivery Man: Aw come on, I couldn’t find the place!
Michaelangelo: Wise man say forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.”–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

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224)”Lin McAdam: That’s where you’re wrong. I don’t like it. Some things a man has to do, so he does ’em.”–Winchester ’73 (1950)

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225)”Charles Eastman: Did you know that there is no word in the Sioux language for that, sir?
Henry Dawes: For what?
Charles Eastman: To “own the earth.” Not in any native language.”–Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (2007)

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226)”George Bailey: I wanna live again!”–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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227)”Johnny: I love that when I breathe you in you smell like cake batter. And I love that you have this insane way of talking in circles that makes perfect sense.
Milly: [shocked] I do? Cause sometimes I feel like nobody understands me. But…
Johnny: Me. I get you.”–Because I Said So (2007)

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228)”Elizabeth Bennett: How clever of you, Miss Bingley, to know something of which you are ignorant.”–Pride and Prejudice (1940)

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229)”Leonardo: First, we must observe the ancient ritual of the, uh, uh… traditional pre-fight donut.”–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:Secret of the Ooze (1991)

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230)”Chief Red Cloud: I say today for all ears within hearing that if Sitting Bull had spoken the way he speaks today, I would not have touched that pen. I will not touch your pen to your paper. I will not touch it to your red paper, I will not touch it to your black paper. The white man will not see my mark again on his paper for the rest of my days on this earth.”–Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (2007)

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231)”Lord Oliver: My God, it’s a miracle, a quiet Frenchman. “–Timeline (2003)

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232)”Leonardo: A true Ninja is a master of himself and his environment.”–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

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233)”Donatello: Help! I’m a turtle and I can’t get up!”–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

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234)”Mr. Darcy: I rather admired what you did this afternoon Miss Elizabeth. Your resentment of what you believe to be an injustice showed courage and loyalty. I could wish I might possess a friend who would defend me as ably as Mr. Wickham was defended today.”–Pride and Prejudice (1940)

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235)”Cleve Van Valen: From the first moment I saw you I’ve known that I couldn’t live without you.
Lilith ‘Lily’ Prescott: Well… I’d hate to be the cause of your death, Mr. Van Valen.”–How the West Was Won (1962)

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236)”Man on Porch: Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people.”–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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237)”Nora Charles: Nick? Nicky?
Nick Charles: What?
Nora Charles: You asleep?
Nick Charles: Yes!
Nora Charles: Good. I want to talk to you.”–The Thin Man (1934)

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238)”Donatello: The perimeter’s quiet.
Leonardo: Yeah, a little too quiet.
[Donatello knocks two Foot soldiers out]
Donatello: Well, that was easy!
Leonardo: Yeah, a little too easy.
Donatello: Look! It’s Raph!
Michaelangelo: Yeah, a little too Raph.”–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

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239)”Mr. Bennett: At this moment it’s difficult to believe that you’re so proud.
Mr. Darcy: At this moment it’s difficult to believe that you’re so prejudiced.”–Pride and Prejudice (1940)

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240) “Aladdin: Princess Jasmine, you’re very…
Genie: Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious!… Punctual!
Aladdin: Punctual!
Princess Jasmine: Punctual?
Genie: Sorry.
Aladdin: Uh, beautiful!
Genie: Nice recovery.”–Aladdin (1992)

 

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241)”Cole: Next time you shoot somebody, don’t go near ’em till you’re… sure they’re dead! “–El Dorado (1966)

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242)”George Bailey: You sit around here and you spin your little webs and you think the whole world revolves around you and your money. Well, it doesn’t, Mr. Potter. In the whole vast configuration of things, I’d say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider!”–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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243)”Michaelangelo: Ahh, ninja pizza!
Donatello: “Ninja pizza”?
Michaelangelo: Pizza that vanish quickly without trace!”–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

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244)”Mr. Darcy: No, indeed, my mind was more agreeably engaged. I’ve been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.”–Pride and Prejudice (1995)

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245)”Thomas Dunson: Who are you?
Cherry Valance: Some call me one thing, some another.
Thomas Dunson: What do they call you most?
Cherry Valance: By my name. Cherry Valance.”–Red River (1948)

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246)”Shredder: Babies! They’re babies!
Professor Jordan Perry: What did you expect? They’d come out quoting “Macbeth”?
Shredder: They are stupid!
Professor Jordan Perry: Well, they’re not stupid, they’re infants.
Rahzar: [knocks Tokka on the head with a metal pole] Bang!
Tokka: Ow!
Professor Jordan Perry: Okay, they’re stupid infants.”–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

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247)”Clarence: You see George, you’ve really had a wonderful life. Don’t you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it away?”–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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248)”Michaelangelo: Oh, he who dings the shell must *pay.*”–Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

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249)”Mr. Bennet: Til you or your sister Jane return, I shall not hear two words of sense spoken together.”–Pride and Prejudice (1995)

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250)”Cherry: There are only two things more beautiful than a good gun: a Swiss watch or a woman from anywhere.”–Red River (1948)

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251)”Johnny: Even before I met you I had an instinct about you. Once I saw you were a woman with profound static cling I wanted to be that force around you.”–Because I Said So (2007)

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252)”Sam: I made a promise, Mr Frodo. A promise. “Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee.” And I don’t mean to. I don’t mean to.”–Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

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253)”Madge: [To Irene] Honey, I’ll call you in the morning.
Irene: I’m going to be rather busy.
Madge: When should I call you?
Irene:I’m afraid I’m going to be busy from now on.
Madge:Then I’ll call you in a couple of days. Or maybe tomorrow night?
Bob: Just pick up the sofa and throw it at her. Maybe that’d make her catch on.”–Dark Passage (1947)

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254)”Mrs. Bennet: Everybody behave naturally.”–Pride and Prejudice (2005)

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255)”Irene: Godfrey loves me! He put me in the shower!”–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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256)”[Wayne opens a door to show a bunch of spies in training]
Garth Algar: What are you gonna do with these guys?
Wayne Campbell: Oh, nothing really. I just always wanted to open a door to room where people are being trained like in James Bond movies.”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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257)”Zuzu Bailey: Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.
George Bailey: That’s right, that’s right.
George Bailey: Attaboy, Clarence.”–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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258)”Galadriel: Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.”–Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

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259)”Charlotte Lucas: Count your blessings, Lizzy. If he liked you, you’d have to talk to him.”–Pride and Prejudice (2005)

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260)”Sims Reeves: Well, I don’t like to see things goin’ good or bad. I like ’em in between.”–Red River (1948)

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261)”Godfrey: Do you think you could follow an intelligent conversation for a minute?
Irene: I’ll try.”–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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262)”Lady Elizabeth: When was it that people stopped thinking of ambition as insane and started thinking of it as a virtue?”–The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)

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263)”Iago: Look at this. I’m so ticked off that I’m molting.”–Aladdin (1992)

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264)”Frodo: Go back, Sam. I’m going to Mordor alone.
Sam: Of course you are. And I’m coming with you”–Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

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265)”Mr. Melville: There’s three times in a man’s life when he has a right to yell at the moon: when he marries, when his children come, and… and when he finishes a job he had to be crazy to start.”–Red River (1948)

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266)”Guthrie: Are you wanted by the police?
Godfrey: That’s just the trouble. Nobody wants me.”–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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267)”Pippin: What about breakfast?
Aragorn: You’ve already had it.
Pippin: We’ve had one, yes. What about second breakfast?
[Aragorn turns and walks off in disgust]
Merry: I don’t think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.
Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn’t he?
Merry: I wouldn’t count on it.”–Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

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268)”Godfrey: May I be frank?
Molly: Is that your name?
Godfrey: No, my name is Godfrey.
Molly: All right, be frank.”–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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269)”Mr. Darcy: Why do you ask such a question?
Elizabeth Bennet: To make out your character.
Mr. Darcy: What have you discovered?
Elizabeth Bennet: Very little. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.
Mr. Darcy: I hope to afford you more clarity in the future. .”–Pride and Prejudice (2005)

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270)”Frodo: You’re late.
Gandalf: A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”–Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

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271)”Mr. Darcy: Are you *rejecting* me?“–Pride and Prejudice (2005)

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272)”Clarence: [In book inscription] Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.”–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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273)”Gandalf: Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee. Have you been eavesdropping?
Sam: I ain’t been droppin’ no eaves sir, honest.”–Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

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274)”Nick Charles: My soul, woman, I give you three murders, and you’re still not satisfied.”The Thin Man (1934)

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275)”Mr. Darcy: Just think how you would roar with laughter if it happened to yourself.”–Pride and Prejudice (1940)

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276)”Irene: You can’t look me in the eye and say that. You love me and you know it. You know, there’s no sense in struggling against a thing when it’s got you. It’s got you and that’s all there is to it – it’s got you!”–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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277)Gandolf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!–The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

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278)”George Bailey: I wish I had a million dollars… Hot dog!”–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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279)”Bagheera: Greater love hath no one than he who lays down his life for his friend.”–The Jungle Book (1967)

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280)”Mr. Darcy: It’s no use. I’ve struggled in vain. I must tell you how much I admire and love you.”–Pride and Prejudice (1940)

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281)”Boromir: One does not simply walk into Mordor.”–The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

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282)”Irene: I’m terribly grateful. This is the first time I’ve ever beaten Cornelia at anything and you helped me do it.
Godfrey: Well, that makes me a sort of Cornelia beater doesn’t it?”–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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283)”King of the Dead: That blade was broken!
[Aragorn takes him by the throat]
Aragorn: It has been remade.”–The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

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284)”Benjamin: Do you have a lawyer?
Wayne Campbell: Yes. Ahm, no. We’re between lawyers right now. You see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad.
Garth Algar: That’s right. I walked right to that office – that’s what I did – and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his big fat head and I said “Listen, man. I’m not going to jail for *you* or for anybody.”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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285)”Zeus: For a true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart.”–Hercules (1997)

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286)”Angelica Bullock: If you’re going to be rude to my daughter, you might as well at least take your hat off!”–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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287)”Gimli: Oh come on, we can take ’em.
Aragorn: It’s a long way.
Gimli: Toss me.
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: I cannot jump the distance, you’ll have to toss me.
[pauses, looks up at Aragorn]
Gimli: Don’t tell the elf.
Aragorn: Not a word.”–Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

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288)”Violet Bick: This old thing? Why, I only wear it when I don’t care how I look.”–It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

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289)”Mae: You’re not a helicopter, mom. Quit hovering.”–Because I  Said So

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290)”Mr. Bennett: An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins. And I will never see you again if you do.”–Pride and Prejudice (1940)

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291)”Alexander Bullock: I don’t mind giving the government 60% of what I make. But I can’t do it when my family spends 50%!
Irene: Well, why should the government get more money than your own family?”–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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292)”Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.”–Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

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293)”Polly Byrnes: Whaddaya mean “illiterate”? My father and mother were married right here in the city hall!”–After the Thin Man (1936)

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294)”Sam: I wonder if people will ever say, ‘Let’s hear about Frodo and the Ring.’ And they’ll say ‘Yes, that’s one of my favorite stories. Frodo was really courageous, wasn’t he, Dad?’ ‘Yes, my boy, the most famousest of hobbits. And that’s saying a lot.’
Frodo: [continue walking] You’ve left out one of the chief characters – Samwise the Brave. I want to hear more about Sam.
[stops and turns to Sam]
Frodo: Frodo wouldn’t have got far without Sam.
Sam: Now Mr. Frodo, you shouldn’t make fun; I was being serious.
Frodo: So was I.”–Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

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295)”[Instead of saying “Excuse me, I beg your pardon?”]
Wayne Campbell: Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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296)”Detective: [chuckles] So you got a passion for jewelry, huh?
Molly: Yes… I got a passion for socking cops.
Detective: Where are they?
Molly: Most of them are in cemeteries.”–My Man Godfrey (1936)

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297)”Charlotte Lucas: We are all fools in love.”–Pride and Prejudice (2005)

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298)”‘Dancer’, Lichee Club Owner: Have you ever been thrown out of a place, Mr. Charles?
Nick Charles: Let’s see. How many was it up to yesterday, Mrs. Charles?
Nora Charles: Well, uh, how many places were you in, Mr. Charles?”–After the Thin Man (1936)

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299)”Gandalf: [to Grima] Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I did not pass through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm.”–The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

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300)”Mr. Darcy: I have made the mistake of being honest with you.
Elizabeth Bennet: Honesty is a greatly overrated virtue. Silence in this case would have been more agreeable. “–Pride and Prejudice (1940)

To check out the previous My Favorite Movie Lines go here.