Keep Clear Of the Moor. Beware the Moon: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

an-american-werewolf-in-london-19811Keep clear of the moor. Beware the moon, lads.

This movie has been referenced in so many books and films that I had been dying to watch it. I wanted to see why everyone loved. So this past Friday the 13th, I decided to watch it and The Wolf Man (1941) as it was a full moon. But when I saw it, I found it was HORRIBLE!!!! One of the worst films ever!! On par with Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and The Beast of Yucca Flats

Mistake Great Gatsby

The main character, David, is so bland and hardly developed that I don’t even care if he becomes a werewolf or not. He also acts crazy all the freakin’ time. In The Wolf Man (1941), Larry thinks he’s crazy, realizes that he’s not, and then tries to stop turning into a werewolf and hurting others. David on the other hand seems to revel in the crazy, and doesn’t seem sad at all that his friend is dead as he is enjoying Nurse Price, etc. While The Wolf Man  is sad and tragic, this was just boring and…more boring.

Jerk

It took over an hour to see David turn! Over an hour! This movie is an hour and a half and I don’t want to have to sit through an hour of crazy David and naked David and have no werewolf!

I don't think so

This is like Godzilla (2014)!!!! If I’m watching a monster movie, I want to see that monster mentioned in the title! The Wolf Man (1941), has a wolf right away, as Bela is a werewolf, and then we see Larry turn at the half hour mark. That’s how its done people!!

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

They really should have changed the title of the film to David Naughton, My Naked Body, as that is really what this film is about. We see more nudity and sex than we do a werewolf, which is super disappointing.

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I felt like Dracula in Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf.

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I started a M&M eating game. For every time David was naked I would eat an M&M. My stomach started hurting barely in.

shadowofadoubt unhappy

 I have to admit I am getting ahead of myself. Lets go back to the beginning and go through some of the issues.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

So for those of you who haven’t seen the film, Jack and David are Americans backpacking through Europe after they have just graduated from college. They are lost in the moors and come upon a pub called the Slaughtered Lamb.

I think the name is a message to steer away.

I think the name is a message to steer away.

[Side Note: the pub is based on a real one that was destroyed years ago. After the film, they opened one up in New York.]

So as the two are walking towards the pub, David tells Jack knock-knock jokes. And I kid you not, he doesn’t get them.

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Like who doesn’t understand knock-knock jokes? I mean three-year old children understand that concept. How did Jack even graduate? And more importantly, why did they even include that in the film?

MeanGirls I know right!

And why would you ever enter a place called the Slaughtered Lamb? It just doesn’t sound like there will be anything good there. I’m with Jack on that one, you should’ve passed on it David.

Bad things happen when you don't listen

Bad things happen when you don’t listen

So they go into the Slaughtered Lamb, Jack sees a pentagram and candles on the wall and he begins telling David all kinds of trivia from The Wolf Man (1941).

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The two end up getting kicked out of the pub and start wandering the moor, when a werewolf attacks.

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It attacks Jack and David takes off running.

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Yep he takes off. You horrible man, you let your friend die! How could you??!! He was trying to help you and when the wolf attacks him you just RUN OFF???!!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

So David ends up in the hospital with a “wolf” bite while Jack ends up in the morgue.

Your fault!

Your fault!

And that’s when Nurse Price enters the picture.

Ugh

Ugh. Hate her.

Nurse Price is crazy and a skank. Now I don’t like to call women that, but she plays with David’s junk to get him to eat! I’m serious!!!

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

She must have a thing for sick/crazy guys.

Plus she is just annoying in how she acts. Nurse Price calls Mark Twain Samuel Clemens when she is reading A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court I know that is his real name, but who actually goes around using it? NOBODY! Everyone calls him Mark Twain. And I know the director is trying to draw parallels between the stories, but no movie, no.

No thank you

The only similarity between the two is an American in Britain. NOTHING ELSE!

David doesn’t have the most fun in the hospital. He sees dead Jack and actually talk to him (weird scene). Jack tells David he is going to be a werewolf and he believes it. David is eventually allowed to check out as his bite is not serious. Nurse Price invites David back to her place and tells him she wants to be with him. She says “I don’t really bring strange men home…I’ve only been with seven men, of which three were one-night stands”

Girl Please

Sounds like you do bring strange men home since that is about half the men you’ve slept with, and David will make that four out of eight.

ew! Gross Yuck

All I can think is how many were people presumed to be crazy (as at this point she thinks David is just imbalanced as he says he is a werewolf)? I mean she’s like Sam Winchester over here. (She actually is as he slept with a werewolf. And a demon. Dated another demon, and was involved with some other monsters.)

Sam Winchester Werewolf

So as Nurse Price and David head back to her flat (apartment) they comment on how high the price of all food is. I’m like,

Girl Please

You paid like £5 for a bag of groceries. I wish food was that cheap.

Why? Why!

Why? Why!

Anyways so we have a second visit from Jack and to be honest, this film is more about the Leprechaun (1993)/Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time Zombie Ghost Jack, than it is about a werewolf.

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The next day after Jack and Nurse Price had sex, she leaves for work and twin girls with a dog come upon Jack. The girls’ dog barks at him and they both laugh like crazy and walk off.

What the

What? I know they are trying to reference The Wolf Man (1941) how the dog can sense he is a wolf (Gwen’s fiance Frank, his dog does this). But what was up with the twin girls? Did they think after The Shinning (1980) that the only way to do a creepy film was to have weird twin girls?

Mal_huh

And are they honestly going to included every song that uses the word moon? We’ve already had Blue Moon and Bad Moon Rising, I am now half-expecting Moon River to be played next.

Ugh great gatsby

And we get the cliche #56,  “person pretends in the mirror to be the monster they later turn into”.

Ugh

Ugh

So we switch to the hospital and get a second round of this bratty little boy who says no all the time (he was in the first hospital scene). He’s even more annoying the second time around that I am actually hoping he does get eaten.

Die, die, die!

Die, die, die!

The transformation scene was okay.

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So the next day David wakes up in the zoo naked with the wolves. Now that doesn’t make much sense to me, if you are a wild werewolf, why would you go put yourself in a cage? You’re free! It would make way more sense if he woke up in the park instead.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

So David tries to get arrested, “to protect others”, and that was kind of funny because the bobby (cop) won’t consider it until he starts insulting the Queen, Winston Churchill, and Shakespeare. But he is so rude to nurse Price. Telling her to shut up and leave him alone:

jerk_alert32

He then tells Nurse Price he loves her, and she’s like woah Ted Moseby, slow down. I Love You? Really after one night? Woah, you don’t even know her. Besides she’s crazy. You don’t want to date crazy.

David then runs off to call his family and tell them he cares about them before he kills himself, but can only reach his 10-year old sister as everyone else is out. All I can think is, 1) David was attacked by a werewolf  or “wolf” as the doctors are calling it and 2) his best friend has been killed! How are his parents not in London right now trying to see if he’s okay? Their son could have been killed!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

So David tries to kill himself but can’t go through with it. Now all I can think is, haven’t you seen The Wolf Man (1941), I mean I assume you did as you were telling the nurse about it. Well don’t you remember, a werewolf can only be killed by silver? Slitting your wrists doesn’t work.

ouch Hermione

So stupid

So after that David sees Jack outside a porno film movie house and goes in after him. All I can think is, you’re worried about killing people and you go see a porno? Really?

sort priorities Harry Potter

And don’t give me, that’s where zombie Jack was at and he needed to speak to him. Before that we saw that Jack came to David wherever he went (hospital, Nurse Price’s flat, etc); he could find himself a quiet place and Jack would totally follow him there.

Girl Please

Plus what us up with the film they are watching? A guy and girl are getting it on and a second guy comes marching in the room yelling “You promised you wouldn’t do this again!” The first guy says “No, I didn’t.” The second guy answers, “I’m talking to her.” The women replies, “I don’t know you.” The second guy gets really embarrassed, says “Oh”, and leaves.

SayWhat?

What the heck was the point of that? And immediately after, Jack says “great movie”. I know you are super horny Jack, but no, no, no, no ,no, no, no, no. That is horrible, horrible, horrible.

facepalm Star trek

After this I couldn’t stomach anymore. It wasn’t scary. There was barely an werewolf. It was pretty much a huge mess. I’ll take The Wolf Man (1941) any day.

No no no no no

No no no no no

And here I will leave with more werewolf than we see in the film.

1981-An-American-Werewolf-In-Londonhalloween banner

To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to You Will Die in Seven Days

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For more on An American Werewolf in London, go to Pink Elephants

For more on werewolves, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Within

For more on Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf, go to A Monster Race

For more modern remakes, go to Let Them Fight

For more on monsters, go to What Is This Thing?

For more on Supernatural, go to Happily Ever Aftermath

For more on How I Met Your Mother, go to I’ll Be Back

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Looking at the Past, Focusing on the Future

Happy-New-Year

So another year has gone by, and full of interesting and unexpected things. I will say that to me, 2013 will always be remembered as the year of the weddings, as I had a TON of friends get married this year. It was like every other week was somebody’s wedding.

Anyways, so this is a time to reflect what the past year held for us, the big posts, the planned posts, and what you all seemed to like the most. 😀

Eye

1) The Views

According to WordPress I had 9,542 views this year. That’s 7542 more than last year. I would like to thank all of you for being a part of this and giving me your time and attention.

Anniversary 2) #1 Post

Surprisingly, the top post of the year was my Happy Anniversary post in which I celebrated six months of blogging. I have to say I never saw that one coming. Runner ups were Snakes on a Post: Chinese New Year, Fulfilling the List: A Walk to Remember, Grimwood Ghouls’ Gym Teacher: Scooby–Doo and the Ghoul School, A Monster Race: Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant  Werewolf, and Save the Last Dance for Me: Dirty Dancing

thankyou153) The Followers

I now have 42 followers, that is 28 more than last January. Thank you all who follow and make my blog a part of your life. You are all awesome! 😀

Now for the success and failures of the year.

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4) My Favorite Movie Lines Lists

This all started when I did a post on one of the best movie lines ever. I then decided to do my own countdowns and post them once a month. I only did two; My Favorite Movie Lines and It’s BACK!: The SequelI planned up to 10 lists but never finished looking for videos to include, so they are just backlogged waiting to be published. I will have to look through them and post them this year.

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5) Musical Musings

I also started my musical posts, writing about some of my favorite songs. This year I covered Nothing But a Good Time, Eye of the Tiger, In Rhapsody Over Clint Eastwood,  Jump (For My Love), I’ll Be Alright Without Youand The End which reviewed a bunch of different songs. Look for more of these as I already have a few ideas for more.

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6) Romance is in the Air

Fourteen posts about some of my favorite romantic moments in film in honor of Valentines’ Day. I covered Say Anything, He’s Just NOT That Into You, A Walk to Remember, An Officer and a Gentleman, The Wedding Singer, Shrek 2, Enchanted, Runaway Bride, 10 Things I Hate About You, An Affair to Remember, Music and Lyrics, It’s a Wonderful Life. Dirty Dancing, and Northanger Abbey.

16741-Slimy_Stretch_Mini_Schlange-Halloween_Dekoration-Snake 4_leaf_clover_banner Holly7) One Day Holiday Posts

 Instead of doing a post everyday like with Romance is in the Air or Horrorfest, I did a couple of holiday posts in which I reviewed the films or books that applied in one post on one day. This is can be easier and fit for the holidays chosen; Snakes on a Post: Chinese New Year, Pot O’ Gold: Saint Patrick’s Dayand the 25 Films of Christmas

The Last Supper - Da Vinci 1495-98

8) Painted Portrayals

For Easter I did something a little different from my other holiday posts. I discussed art that featured Christ, discussing the history and advancements of the pieces.  These posts were The Last Supper, The Betrayal of Christand Good FridayI mean I have to use my Art History skills for something.

Pride and Prejudice Book Cover9) Pride and Prejudice Summer

So this was a failure. I had planned to spend a majority of my summer posting about Pride and Prejudice as it had just turned 200, but unfortunately my plans went awry. However, I did get a few done and I am going to complete this quest this year, so I can move on to another book. The posts that I completed as part of this goal are the following: Happy Birthday Pride & Prejudice, It is a Truth Universally Acknowledged, The 12 Men of Christmas, Parental Favoritism, and Definitely Not Mr. Darcy.

halloween-wallpaper-large00610) Horrorfest II

Now Horrorfest II wasn’t a complete failure, but it didn’t turn out how I originally planned. I wanted to do 31 days, but it was far too much work and only did 16. I didn’t get everything I wished to accomplish, but I think it turned out well. I covered the films; The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Warm Bodies, The Mummy (1932), The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Crucible, Ringu, The Beast of Yucca Flats, Double, Double, Toil, and Trouble, Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Jurassic Park III, and Children of the Corn. I also did the episodes “A River of Candy Corn Runs Through It” from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, “Night of the Day of the Dead” from Lizzie McGuire, and “Midnight Madness” from Are You Afraid of the Dark. I also discussed an artist who mixed horror films with Disney, Disnified Horror.

Of course there are plenty of other things that went on this year, but this finishes our review of the year.

On ending note I found this on Pinterest in the spring:

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and wanted to do it, but I thought it would be better if I waited for the new year to partake in this. I think that it is a fun idea and I encourage everyone of you to do it as well.

So Happy New Year, I hope it is the better than last year! And I can’t wait to see what posts come up this year. 😀

Candy, Candy, Candy!

CANDY!

CANDY!

So this year we went Trick or Treating and then to a haunted house. We didn’t spend as much time getting candy but we still had a pretty good haul.

3 Double Bubble Gum, 2 Packets of Swedish Fish, 2 Whopper packs, 2 Three Musketeer Bars, 2 Boxes of Nerds, 2 Crunch Bars, 3 Butterfingers, 2 Packs of Gobstoppers, 9 Sweettarts Packs, 6 Snickers, 1 Snicker Almond Bar, 4 Milky Way Bars, 1 Pack of Bottle Caps, 2 Baby Ruth Bars, 2 Jolly Rancher Pops, 7 Hershey Kisses, 7 Tootsie Roll Pops, 4 Kit Kat Bars, 5 Reese’s Cups, 1 Tiger Pop, 1 Blow Pop, 1 Dum Dum, 6 Packs of Chocolate M&Ms, 2 Packs of Peanut M&Ms, 1 Pack of Peanut Butter M&Ms, 1 Twizzler, 5 Laffy Taffys, 1 Box of Milk Duds, and 1 Pack of Fruit Snacks.

CandyOverload

So like last time, I just want to do a little poll and see what posts you all enjoyed this year so I can make it even better next year. Sadly, I didn’t get to finish everything I wanted to complete from last year. I planned to finish the posts for all the Universal Monster Movies ;  but only got to The Mummy and The Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Wolfman will have to wait ’till next year. I also really wanted to do posts on Alfred Hitchcock’s movies, like The Birds, Psycho, Rebecca, and Strangers on a Train; but also wasn’t able to get to them. I really, really, really wanted to do Vincent Price films; like House on Haunted Hill. The Tomb of Ligeia, The Pit and the Pendulum, but those didn’t get a chance either. 😦

I’d like to know which were your faves are so vote, vote, vote! If you are unsure which to pick then why don’t you pop over and start at the beginning. Also I’d like to know what you wish I had posted on. Just leave a comment at the bottom of the page! :D

Touch a Button. Things Happen. A Scientist Becomes a Beast: The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)

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Touch a button. Things happen. A scientist becomes a beast

THIS IS ONE OF THE WORST MOVIES I HAVE EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER SEEN! It was BEYOND AWFUL! I mean it was  Attack of the Killer Tomatoes or Mean Girls 2 bad. My sister bought a box set of the Greatest 100 Horror Classics, and the two of us has been working through them. Most of them were really good, I mean Carnival of Souls, Phantom of the Opera (1925), etc were on there; but this one was really a major dud.

The first scene has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. A women takes a shower and is strangled. We never see the murderer, we never mention the murderer, in fact nothing at all comes from this.

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I know like what the heck movie makers? Why would you do that do your viewers? A  later interview done with the producer revealed that the scene was added because the director liked nude scenes. Seriously? Why would you add something like that in when it has nothing to do with the plot. It’d be like having half-naked women singing about Hitler.

In Yucca Flats a Soviet scientist, Joseph Javorsky, is defecting. As he is running he and his American contacts are attacked by KGB. Javorsky gets away but wanders in an American nuclear test and is transformed into a mindless beast.

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I know, its awful. It’s like Really? Really? That’s what you’re going with?

jiFfM

We get a lot of this in the film.

We get a lot of this in the film.

He then kills a couple in their car. Two police officers who seem to have no clue what being a police officer means go after him. (The head cop looks like he’s sixteen while the deputy 45, how that worked out I don’t know.)

A vacationing family ends up getting caught up in this. (This is where the story got interesting as we made up this whole back story about how both kids were the moms but the youngest was from her now husband  and that is why they care so much about him when he runs off while a killer is lose in the hills, but when the oldest one does they hardly even bother to look for him. I mean it was pretty sad how they didn’t even seem upset that the eldest son was missing.) And

Evetually the cops kill the scientists and everything ends somewhat well.

It was HORRIBLE!  DON”T WATCH IT!

Even though it sucked I couldn’t leave it out of my countdown.

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