Are You Prepared to Encounter All of Its Horrors?…Let’s Just Say That All Houses Have Their Secrets, and Northanger is No Exception.: Northanger Abbey (2007)

It’s Time for Our Jane Austen Pick!

It’s exactly as I imagined. It’s just like what we read about.

Are you prepared to encounter all of its horrors?

 Horrors? Is Northanger haunted, then?

That’s just the least of it. Dungeons, and sliding panels; skeletons; strange, unearthly cries in the night that pierce your very soul!

Any vampires? Don’t say vampires. I could bear anything, but not vampires.

Miss Morland, I believe you are teasing me now. I have to say, there is a kind of vampirism. No, let’s just say that all houses have their secrets, and Northanger is no exception.

So every year I have been trying to find a way to include Jane Austen in my Horrorfest posts. I lucked out with Death Comes to Pemberley as that gave me two years, (I posted in between as three years seemed a really long break.) Then last year I did the Midsomer Murders episode “Death by Persuasion“. This year I was like, ugh I guess I have to watch Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (I didn’t care for the book so I’m not enthused about watching the film.)

Oh, if only Jane Austen had written a Halloween-y book.

Then it hit me, how could I be so blind- she did!

So I decided that this year would be the year I review Northanger Abbey (2007). I’ve wanted to review this movie for a while, but haven’t as when I do then I can’t review it again. Does anyone else ever feel that way?

I’m happy to include it as I know of Catherine was around today, she’ be all over Halloween,

So in my post on The Blob, I mentioned that back in January when my book club read Steve McQueen: The Salvation of an American Icon, I thought what better way to end Horrorfest IX than to end with The Blob. I thought it would be cute to have it a few months apart from the book review.  Unfortunately, I didn’t finish the review. I was still planning to end with it, but then I got an idea.

I was switching some posts around and was going to move Northanger Abbey to a different day when I decided why not end with Northanger Abbey? And if I’m celebrating? Why not encourage everyone to as well!

So I’m going to watch the 2007 adaption, but there are others to watch if that doesn’t interest you:

Or you can read the book or other adaptions:

And don’t forget to #CelebrateHalloweenwithNorthangerAbbey so I can see what you do!

So Northanger Abbey is probably my favorite Jane Austen book as I just love Catherine, she’s so me.

And I LOOOOOOOVE this adaption. I felt that everyone who did this production really understood the heart of the novel and brought it to life perfectly! There are a few changes/additions, of course there always will be, but I felt these added to this film. And JJ Feild and Felicity Jones were beyond perfect!

But enough gushing, let’s get on to the review!

So I love the way we start off with this gothic creepy spooky music over the actors and title. I could just listen to this it over and over again.

We start the film off perfectly, the first lines of the text narrating and we get a great view of Catherine’s life. A family of 10, her father a reverend, she loves to play cricket and baseball (how can you not like a heroine like that?) Although, at 15 she settles down and changes her hobbies to reading. I like how we see her playing with her siblings and sports, but then off to hide away and read.

I am soooo jealous I wish I could go off in the beautiful English countryside and hide to read.

When Catherine reads she imagines herself in the stories and I love it. It is just like how I imagined her to be when I read the novel. I love how the characters in her imagination are played by the same actors in the film, but we don’t see their faces until she meet them in the story.

The Allens have arrived and want Catherine to come with them on their trip to Bath. This was the first book Jane Austen wrote, although not published, and it makes sense that she used Bath as she stayed with her aunt in Bath when she was young.

As they are traveling Catherine is reading and I love how she imagines herself in the story and then attacked by highwaymen. I LOOOOOOOVE, LOVE this movie! So much!

I mean it is so relatable, don’t tell me know of you bookstgrammers and book lovers haven’t done that because I am sure you have!

I like how when Catherine first comes to Bath it is beautiful but then right away we see an ugly underbelly as two jerks call her a “tasty piece”. Ugh, some things ever change-but also alludes that a pretty facade can hold ugliness, makes me think of the people she is to meet but also has me think of Twin Peaks or Blue Velvet. 

And their names are Thorpe and General Tilney

Felicity Jones as Catherine is cute and adorable which is exactly how I imagined her to be in the book.

Mr. and Mrs Allen are so sweet:

Mrs. Allen: Have you ever seen anything prettier Mr. Allen?

Mr. Allen: You mean besides yourself.

I love how they have Catherine from a small parsonage thrown into this crowded room full off gross men, snooty men, and crowds, crowds, crowds.

Mr. Allen ditches the ladies right away, for the men’s room I believe.

See ya!

Then JJ Feild as Mr. Tilney enters, and he is utter perfection.

I’m all about that Henry!

I love their whole interaction together, JJ Feild is just perfect-a joker, sarcastic, but at the same time fun. I love when he says Catherine’s line about how her gown will fray, and such a white knight getting rid of the wolves and getting them a table, then procuring an introduction.

But I love how when he is following protocol he looks like he will spurt out laughing at any moment. The teasing-it’s too perfect.

I love the jokey sillyness of them talking, such a contrast to the “we have to talk when dancing” scene you see in Pride and Prejudice. JJ Feild says the lines perfectly-so theatrically “astonishing” that it fits his character perfectly. I just love it!

Ugh, but then the horrid-John Thorpe (William Beck) skulking in his bulldogg-ish way. He spots Catherine and eyes her like a piece of meat.

I love this scene.

Catherine: [Puzzled] Why does he look at us?

Mr. Tilney: I imagine he likes what he sees.

Catherine: [Incredulous] You don’t mean me?

So I love this scene because for a girl who was sporty and never considered pretty as a youth it is so difficult to believe when someone says you are pretty. I also think this is another reason why Catherine is a favorite as she has gone through body image issues like most teen girls. Not to say that Elizabeth doesn’t suffer some, constantly being compared to the “beauty” of her elder sister, but with Catherine she is in a different situation and younger, plus she isn’t as powerful a wordsmith as Elizabeth or able to laugh off her hurt in front of others. I think she and this scene resonate really well. Her being baffled at the thought that she could have the interest of two men, let alone have a man to watch her from across the room because he thinks she is pretty just puzzles her. I also like that Mr. Tilney uses pretty to describe her multiple times. On one hand pretty is more jestful, he just met her he doesn’t want anyone thinking he’s proposing, but at the same time him saying it is more of something for Catherine to cling to. Someone who has never been called beautiful, but cute or nice-being called beautiful they would never believe it. But being called pretty after being considered “almost pretty” is more something they can can accept.

When Mr. Tilney teases her about writing a journal and Catherine sasses back it is beyond adorable. I love it except how could he ever think Thorpe more handsome than him.

And then that night we see she is writing in a journal. I love it!

Catherine again reads but this time in her mind she sees the people as Thorpe and Tilney-the handsome hero of course being Tilney

The next day they are out and another horror-Mrs. Thorpe and Isabella, Mrs. Thorpe being an old friend of Mrs. Allen. They hone in on them, wanting to join their party, Catherine and Isabella immediately going out together, You know I always felt like the interaction between Mrs. Allen and Mrs. Thorpe was weird, the way Mrs. Thorpe “just happened” upon them, but this time watching it I can see how contrived it is. The Thorpe’s must have been planning the harpooning the Morland’s for quite some time. Something in their manner must have made them think they were a great catch. Thorpe sees Catherine at the dance (knows what she looks like and probably heard from James she would be there, not to mention the book where people signed in) and the next day the other Thorpe’s were on the hunt. I’m not sure if the plan was always for them to snag both siblings but from what I see of Isabella she’s been working on James for some time, the “beloved friendship” of his sister helping capture him even more.

You know I never noticed it before there are a lot of creepy dudes in Bath.

SUPER creeped

When they go out, Catherine looks for Mr. Tilney’s name and Isabella says that there is something strange about the family. Not going to lie, that would probably intrigue me more. Oh, do tell.

Hmm…spill please.

They are followed out of the place by two men-creepy, but Isabella seems in to it. Weird.

Strange girl.

Catherine is afraid, but Isabella laughs it off. She is trouble.

Do not be friends with her!

They come upon John Thorpe and James Morland (Hugh O’Coner) as they have come to Bath as well.

Poor James

James: [To Isabella] When I heard you were here nothing could keep me away.

John is the opposite of Henry-John is brash, bulldoggish, curses-although he was introuduced the proper “way”. I’d rather do things the Tilney way.

John doesn’t read novels as he thinks them silly and for women (ugh) We don’t like him. We don’t like boys who don’t read.

Ugh…this guy

At the dance, Catherine sees Mr. Tilney with a beautiful woman and her whole face falls. Then she hears it is his sister and her face lights up like a Christmas tree. I love it!

Eleanor and Catherine are so cute I ship their friendship-Catherine needs a wiser woman to help her not horrible Isabella.

They see General Tilney (Liam Cunningham) across the room and Eleanor’s cryptic message about her father sets him up as a perfect villain. Henry look is grim after talking to him, Eleanor calls it “his way”, he does look positively scary. He just casts a shadow over everyone.

Catherine and Eleanor get on smashing, both like to read and walk-while Isabella likes being in town, in a party, with men hanging off her every word. Don’t go with Isabella-stay with Eleanor and Mr. Tilney.

This next scene is perfection with showing the story and the characters so let’s break it down.

The next day Catherine is preparing for the date she planned with Mr Tilney walk she planned with the Tilneys when Isabella, Thorpe, and her brother James all come in convincing her that the Tilneys are out of town and she should come with him-John stats this  with “I think I saw them leaving”, Isabella backing him up, then he says he knows, then he insists that in this brief passage in the street from far away that he heard them saying they will be gone. Of course when I say it like this you can obviously tell it is a lie, but when he and Isabella work in tandem it is incredibly well done. Catherine bring up a point, one sibling parries it while the other puts in a stab that gets to her. Isabella “my dear one, in this false world, people often make promises they have little intention of keeping. Remember, we are your *true* friends”, when they are in fact doing the very things they are warning her against. This is a perfect representation of the Thorpes who will lie, scheme, and do anything to get what they want and how they manage this so perfectly off the cuff. Immediately, you can tell they have done similar schemes before bur above all that we get a great sense of their character as they see no wrong in it, experience no guilt, Isabella dosen’t even blink an eye when she is the very person she warns Catherine about.

And then we have brother James. True he’s no brother John (Sense and Sensibility) but he is not a good brother. He so badly wants this alone time with Isabella and is so consumed by his “love” for her that he doesn’t even see the inconsistencies in the Thorpe’s speeches. Instead he insults his sister, being her brother he knows where to get at her. The Thorpe’s pulled down Catherine’s defenses, but the betrayal of her brother-his stab is the thing that really gets her to join in with them. Harsh. And the use of “scatterbrained sister”, for some reason that really gets her moving, the need to show him she’s not that. It’s not hard to imasgine that maybe that insult was used a lot growing up. It is such a quick scene but a really good one that let’s is know each character’s motivation.

Speaking of James, does any Austen heroine have a good brother besides Fanny Price? I mean Elinor and Marianne have John, who is ugh, the Bennets have no brothers, Emma doesn’t have a brother and hasugh John Knightley as a brother-in-law, and in Persuasion no brothers. The only good brother out of the three is William Price, Fanny’s brother. I mean James isn’t as horrible as John, but not as good as William. Jane Austen had six brothers, I wonder if each brother and brother-in-law where based off of them? Anyways, that’s for another day-back to the renew.

From Clueless

We see more of how rude Thorpe is when Mr. Allen is crossing the street and Thorpe almost hits him. He interrogates Catherine about Mr. Allen saying they are rich with no children and she’s the favorite. She doesn’t really answer, so he takes that as a yes.

Then she sees Mr. and Miss Tilney. Now Thorpe here is awful. Catherine wants out and he purposefully speeds up so that she can’t. He flat out tells her that he doesn’t care that he lied and then goes on to manipulate and convince her that she is “needed” to chaperone so her brother and Isabella can be together, uh..why can’t you do that if you “care” about your sister sooo much.

He then goes on to explain that he was not lying or manipulating to her (my words) with any evil intent he is just “protecting” her against the Tilneys. John insists there is something strange about the mother’s death-and then continues to lecture her about being more careful about making new acquaintances they are not as honest as you and I.

You just lied and admitted you lied…like do you not hear yourself?

This is another reason why I love Jane Austen-remove the carriages, regency clothes, and language and you could set this scene in any time period. Her work is beyond relatable. Who has not met someone like this in their life, espechially when you are young, friend or romantic partner people like this abound. I wish Catherine just stormed out of the carriage and away from him, but of course she’s young, she does want to help her brother, and she doesn’t want to disappointed. This whole manipulation is abuse and that is another reason why Thorpe is a horror. Run Catherine! Run from him!

So Catherine goes with them…

And it rains and they get blocked with sheep. Good! May Thorpe always be sheep-blocked.

Sucks to be you

Then we have Catherine and Isabella in their underwear waiting for clothes to dry-I think this exchange is odd as why not wear robes-aren’t they cold after being in the rain? But it is part of the “sexy” Austen they have since added in.

Isabella encourages Catherine and John, although Catherine is not that interested besides someone being pleased at someone finding her cute. Isabella encourages her to red the very “naughty” book The Monk as it is John’s favorite. It doesn’t surprise me that the only thing John wold deign to read is a “naughty” book.

The worst!

So feel like after Catherine reads a part of The Monk, she has a fantasy where she is in a bathtub, but that isn’t i my copy. Did I just imagine that?

The next night they go to the opera, the Thorpe’s joining them and John Thorpe “compliments” Catherine, ugh.

Why are you with him?!

Catherine see the Tilmeys and runs over to apologize, I love how she speaks to Mr. Tilney when apologizing not Eleanor Mmmhmmm.

How sweet!

She also tells Mr. Tilney she would have run out of the carriage and back to him (using you not the two of you.) Felicity Jones is so cute as Catherine, I just love it!

Soooo cute!!!!

I also love how hurt Mr. Tilney is and trying to pretend that all is fine, when you can easily tell it is’t and the look Eleanor gives him is priceless. She knows her brother was hurting.

I see people talking about Georgiana having to put up with a heartbroken Mr. Darcy, but what about Miss Tilney? She probably had to spend the whole walk hearing about how hurt Henry was and how Catherine was just whisked away from him and all in the rain!

Mr Tilney: I felt a little slighted.

Mmmhmm a little?!!

I love how Eleanor states you were quite cast down when you heard that Miss Morland preferred the company of others. Good job Eleaor, good sister-prodding your brother.

They renew the invitation and we see John Thorpe talking to General Tilney about how rich the Allens are, oh no. General Tilney then engages an introduction and he invites Catherine to spend the day with them. Catherine is so sweet but the Tilneys siblings exchange a look, oh no-Dad’s getting involved this won’t be good.

That’s not good.

They go walking and Catherine is cute she’s never traveled but has seen pictures and read books.

Catherine assumes that Tilney wouldn’t read books, but he shares that he loves novels and that there can be more life in it then in some sermons- cough cough Mr. Collins. Aw, he likes to read!

Guys who don’t are not.

By the way, Mr. Tilney’s green coat and cream breeches are the same that Mr. Darcy wears although I don’t love the cuffs. Speaking of costumes, fantastic choices. I love everything they have except the cuffs.

I noticed that Eleanor just happened to need to fix her skirt “it caught on something” allowing Henry and Catherine go on ahead. Mmmhmmm.

I like this exchange between Catherine and Mr. Tilney about the themes in books being ones you see in life. So true. Catherine doesn’t think so and we have this moment when we get a glimpse between the teasing, sarcastic nature we love to something vulnerable Mr. Tilney comes from a wealthy estate so he hasn’t had a harsh life materially-but we see that their has been pain and darkness. Catherine comes from a loving home so she doesn’t see the world the same way. I like this as often the people who laugh the loudest and are so flippant have some emotional scars we can’t see. It also rounds Mr. Tilney out, it would have been easy to write him as just  two-dimensional character.

The walk is interrupted by a man hurriedly riding a horse and Mr. Tilney explains that it is a secret, Eleanor is in loves with him, but their father doesn’t approve. He is leaving to make his fortune and wanted a final good-bye.

Aw!

The next day Catherine is reading when Isabella interrupts her as James’ has proposed. “You know my nature I can never trifle with a man’s affections.” MMhmm…

Catherine is pleased although in strage twist she’s the voice of reason thinking this is all rather fast. But James and Isabella laugh off  as they have been “in love” since last Christmas. Poor James is a blind fool in love.

James leaves to speak to their parents and John is going too. He then delivers one of the worst proposals

John: Perhaps I might look for one [a ring] for myself, do you think I should? [Catherine surprised says nothing] Frightfully good this marrying scheme, what do you think?

Catherine: I think it is good.

It’s not even a real proposal. They leave and Isabella is blue. She thinks that Catherine’s parents will not be interested as she has no money while Catherine is like thinking in her head we don’t have that much money, I guess.

Huhhhhhhh

That night they go out and Isabella goes on and on about how sad and heartbroken she is not to have her “love”. They see General Tilney, Mr. Tilney, and Miss Tilney. General Tilney leaves taking Catherines hand and placing it on his son’s and then vanishes. Oh my gosh, General Tilney has zero subtlety he makes it clear to everyone in a 400 mile radius that you want the two to get together. It makes me laugh, but it is so indicative of General Tilney’s style. He is General, he commands and all must follow his orders.

We also have another horror enter the scene, I believe this is number 4, Captain Tilney-the eldest Tilney.

He’s such a snob blowing Catherine off (although thank goodness)

Mr. Tilney: He’s always been iIl mannered. He was even ill mannered as a baby.

Catherine: [Teasingly] How do you know he was ill mannered as a baby, you weren’t even born yet.

I love Tilney and Catherine’s interactions:

Mr. Tilney: My rival having left bath.

Catherine: He’s not your ri- [breaks off]

Ugh Captin Tilney is so ill mannered. He wants to dance with Isabella, and Catherine tells him Isabella isn’t dancing with anyone tonight, shouldn’t have said that as it just raised the challenge he’s going to ask Isabella. Or did he? Could she have approached him? Hmm….

Hmm…

Catherine sees Isabella dancing and then later Isabella explains it away, hmm… She gushes about him, but reassures Catherine, she loves James.

Really Isabella?

That night Captain Tilney is the bad guy in the fantasy and he looks so devilishly evil. Perfect.

The next day Ctherine comes over to hear how James’ trip went, and Isabella is not immediately happy. James will recive 400 pounds in two years, so they will have to wait. She’s really hurt, and Catherine defends her father. Isabella thinks Mr. Allen might give money, but Catherine is extremely surprised. They have no expectations from him. Isabella realizes she’s losing the crowd and changes her tone to insisting that she doesn’t care about money but the wait to marry. Sure

The next day Catherine learns that the Tilneys will be leaving, but is invited to Northanger Abbey. Omg I wish I could go. I would say Yes! but Catherine does the right thing and asks the Allens, the Nothanger spooky music playing!

Creepy…

Their last time together Isabella drops that John thinks Catherine and him are engaged. You know I just realized if your name is John in an Austen novel you are a jerk. Catherine defends herself and shares she never did any such thing. Isabella is upset but all is forgotten when she sees Captain Tilney. Captin Tilney lays the flirt on thick…eyes give us torment, etc. Catherine is upset at the exchange and tries to get her and Isabella out of there, but Isabella refuses to go and instead is off with Captain Tilney, oh no.

That’s not good.

The Tilneys arrive to pick up Catherine and you know we talk a lot about Ms. Bennet, Mrs. Jennings, and the other women who are always trying to plan and scheme marriages for our heroines, but it seems like everyone forgets General Tilney practically throwing his child at Catherine.

Marry my son in this case.

Poor Eleanor. She looks so abused right here, she probably is with an emotional vampire like her father. Even Mr. Tilney stands at attention and ready to do the orders of his father. It is interesting as when both are apart from their dad they are completely different, but when father is around they are quiet, quick to respond, and follow his commands like good little soldiers. I never noticed just how like “at attention” they are around him Its very good as that will be important later ****foreshadowing****.

Hmm…

The general offers his son like the fattened calf and Catherine of course is eager to sit with Mr. Tilney.

They ride and Catherine asks about Captain Tilney, worried about Isabella. Mr. Tilney instantly responds with were you wanting his company and I love how fast Catherine tells him no. I can just imagine in her head HECK, NO! She shares her concerns for Isabella, Catherine is such a good friend.

My problem with Isabella is not the part of her liking men’s attention or whatever. I just hate people who play around with other’s feelings, liars, and those that do whatever they want never thinking of the hurt and pain they cause in others. Isabella is a completely toxic friend that everyone should immediately avoid.

Seriously!

Mr. Tilney tries to reassure her as he knows his brother isn’t serious, but doesn’t want to say why. He is a gentleman after all.

They come upon Northangr Abbey and its just what I imagined! The music plays so spooky.

One of my favorites exchanges and where the title comes from. I like this as it show the progression of thei relationship and how much fun they have yet twinged with sadness as Northanger Abbey houses a vampire.

But an emotional vampire.

[Riding in the curricle, Henry and Catherine see the first view of Northanger Abbey]

Henry Tilney: There.

Catherine Morland: It’s exactly as I imagined. It’s just like what we read about.

Henry Tilney: Are you prepared to encounter all of its horrors?

Catherine Morland: Horrors? Is Northanger haunted, then?

Henry Tilney: That’s just the least of it. Dungeons, and sliding panels; skeletons; strange, unearthly cries in the night that pierce your very soul!

Catherine Morland: [sardonically] Any vampires? Don’t say vampires. I could bear anything, but not vampires.

Henry Tilney: [laughing] Miss Morland, I believe you are teasing me now.[seriously] I have to say, there is a kind of vampirism. No, let’s just say that all houses have their secrets, and Northanger is no exception.

General Tilney always looks so foreboding even when he’s nice. Like Jack Nicholson.

Eleanor acts completely different in her home like a reversal of Mr. Darcy. All shaken up, nervous, wanting to please-her elegance, coolness, replaced by anxiety and fear.

First thing Catherine does is look in the wardrobe. Same. I would defintely go inside.

She then sits on a trunk and starts looking through it, but is interrupted. Same as well. She then goes to get ready, leaving that trunk for later.

Catherine is the first to walk in and paid all the compliments and I love at what a loss she is. This is too fancy. Eleanor has to help her out.

Hmm…

I like when General Tilney is trying to pay her compliments and she is at a loss, so is General Tilney as he doesn’t understand why the Allens have so much money but less than him. Both of them are utterly confused and the Tilney siblings share a look. Mr. Tilney eats his soup so silly he has to be doing that to set Catherine at ease as she is a bundle of nerves herself.

The night there is lightening and candlelight and everything feels so spoooooky. It’s perfection!

Catherine opens the trunk and finds old papers. Treasure map, notes, secrets? The wind blows the candle out and she can’t see it, instead jumping into the bed. The maid tripping over it the next day. Catherine tells the maid to leave it and as soon as she is out the door picks them up to read.

It is….

A laundry list.

Maybe, maybe its is code? Could be! Probably not.

Darn!

Eleanor and Catherine walk together and Eleanor shares she and her mom used to walk along the same path. Eleanor shares she was away when her mother died of an illness, it was sudden and short. The body was buried before Eleanor got there.

Hmmm…

Strange…

At Northanger Abbey.

Eleanor wants to take Catherine to her mother’s room to see the portrait of her mother as Catherine resembles her. However they can’t as it is forbidden. The Rebecca vibe is strong. Like Northanger Abbey is like the great grandfather of Rebecca.

General Tilney comes upon them and stops them. Darn.

Catherine writes to Isabella mentioning her thoughts that maybe this house holds a dark secret. At dinner General Tilney has to leave and Catherine, Eleanor, and Henry have the house to themselves. As soon as he is gone a shadow lifts and Eleanor returns to the way she was before, so does Mr Tilney.

Party time!

Henry takes Catherine riding to see his parsonage, how adorable. It is so cute and I love his coat.

The two share a moment when he tenderly wipes mud off her checks and they gaze into each other’s eyes. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww my heart melts…

Soooo cute!!!!

Poor Eleanor, they are walking and she is a third wheel, I know it is her choice but still…sad.

Catherine tries to question Henry about what he meant earlier when he said that there was a darkness, but he doesn’t say wanting to keep it a secret, but encourages her to think of the worst things she can and write a novel about it. I have to say Henry I love you, but maybe you should think about some of the things you say.

Catherine shares he is teasing but also that she feels that the house is not a happy one. Henry shares a bit, such as he envious of her childhood. His sister wants to marry Edward the man that met with her secretly, but he is a second son and has to marry the first son of a rich estate, his brother has to as well, and him too. Catherine is worried as she does not have a fortune an asks if he will, marry someone rich. Henry shares that he hoped he wouldn’t have to choose between love or money.

Mr. Tilney has to leave and will return the next day. That night Catherine starts investigating, with the men out she makes a run for Mrs. Tilney’s room

Mystery, you say?

The room is in bad repair and dusty. Is it grief or like Maxim de Winter he does he feel guilty about his role in it?

Sad…trauma from Rebecca.

Mr. Tilney arrives and sees her in the room and I can’t blame him being upset, it is rude Catherine. Although Eleanor saying the picture resembled her I could see me wanting to, although this portrait doesn’t look that much like Catherine. Probably a good thing as as that would bring these crazy theories that Catherine is the reincarnated mother set to enact revenge and have a plot like Chances Are, that was freaky movie. How did it get green-lighted?

Sorry I am just everywhere today. So I really love this exchange between Henry and Catherine when she shares she believes that his father murdered his mother. I like it because you can see Henry is hurt and upset, I mean would be too if the person I liked called my father a murderer-but I like that he’s not screaming, yelling or calling her names. He is calm but he is clearly hurt and upset. I’m glad they went in that direction, him being the opposite of how his father (and brother) would most likely react.

Although in her defense you did tell her to dream up the most horrible thing she could imagine so you can’t really be mad at her for thinking it.  And not going to lie the first time I read this I totally thought General Tilney killed her, and I’m not wholly convinced he didn’t . Like I don’t think he out murdered her but after being in an abusive relationship for that long, I defintely think his behavior really sapped her will for living. And people who are abused have lower immune systems as their health greatly suffers, so he definitely killed her. I wouldn’t win a criminal case, but I bet I could prove it in a civil case, Any lawyers out there want to give me their thoughts?

At the end, I love how Tilney says Catherine how could you-so disappointed, so wounded-he says it softly like a cry of pain and walks way.

And poor Catherine crying thinking she has lost her chance at ever claiming his heart, internally berating herself for being so foolish.

Aw!

Eleanor comes upon her in the garden with a letter and sees her crying. She tries to reassure her, but Catherine is sobbing-this scene is so good. OMG this actors are amazing. I don’t think there could be a better adaption.

And as the adage goes when it rains it pours. James sends a letter that the engagement is over. He is a gentleman and doesn’t say anything else regarding why but believes Captian Tilney and Isabella will be engaged. Eleanor tells her probably not. She’s sorry “that anyone she [Catherine] loves should be so hurt but Captin Tilney will never marry Isabella. He can only marry a wealthy woman ad currently is not interested in marriage. Eleanor is classy but she clearly spells it out that things will not go well for Isabella.

She should not have done that.

And to make it clear for the viewers, the next scene we see that captain Tilney took her to an hourly rate lodgings and had his enjoyment and is tossing her back to her parents. Looking sinister the whole time.

Isabella tried to net a larger fish, but failed. I do feel bad for her, like a thimble’s worth as girl you did wrong. She the writes to Catherine hoping her “dearest friend” will help her get back with James.

Eleanor: I’m not surprised

Eleanor is a good friend and she can lock into a person’s character right quick.  Eleanor just throws more shade.

Catherine I feel sorry for Isabella.

Eleanor: I’m sure shell be fine soon enough.

Classy Eleanor on Isabella

That night is spooky and dark and General Tilney comes storming in screeching for Eleanor. Poor girl.

Catherine is worried for her friend and she shares that her father is forcing Catherine to leave, and that she has to leave now. You know this is incredibly awful as they don’t even have her leave the next day but that night drop her at the public stagecoach alone, dumped on the side of the road like refuse.  And not only that he forces Eleanor to drop this bomb instead of telling her himself.

Poor Catherine doesn’t even feel bad about being treated that way. She thinks she deserves it for what she thought, believing Mr. Tilney told his father.  But this is seriously messed up . General Tilney is the worst as Catherine could be murdered, robbed, raped, kidnapped, injured, etc. She has to wait until a coach comes in the middle of the night in a strange place where she has no friends or protection. General Tilney:

Thankfully a coach comes soon.

Please, oh please! from Death Comes to Pemberley

No daydreaming this time, instead the journey home is spent in reflection. Catherine returns home so sad looking and hurt. She’s lost some of her heart and childlike innocence.

Darn!

They discuss this at her home with the Allens, the Morland’s being extremely upset. Thankfully these parents are on it-not cool and the mom is not impressed by these friends as no one even wrote. Catherine has pretty good parents in comparison to some other Austen heroines. Her mother s ays she is proud she dealt with it all maturly, she’s not so scatterbrained-aw there is it. They must have used that a lot when she was younger.

Mrs. Allen defends Mr. Tilney saying that she liked Tilney as he got them a chair and knew muslin. Oh Mrs. Allen. Knowing Muslin is all you need to impress her.

That night Catherine shares her trip with her siblings and one asks if she loves Mr. Tilney. She says no, of course, but we know that to be a lie. She’s in Love!

Catherine loves Tilney

Then Mr Tilney comes up on a white horse *SQUEAL*

Mr. Tilny tries to tell Catherine what happened-he shares he was upset with what she said but that wasn’t why she was sent away. He shares a little about his father:

Henry Tilney: Your imagination may be overactive, but your instinct was true. Our mother did suffer grievously and at the hands of our father. Do you remember I spoke of a kind of vampirism?

Catherine Morland: Yes.

Henry Tilney: Perhaps it was stupid to express it so, but we did watch him drain the life out of her with his coldness and his cruelty. He married her for her money, you see. She thought it was for love. It was a long time until she knew his heart was cold. No vampires, no blood. But worse crimes, crimes of the heart.

Catherine Morland: It was stupid and wicked of me to think such things as I did.

They are interrupted by her sister and the girl s the best little sister actress ever interrupting them all sassy saying they ned to come to the drawing room.

Then Mr. Tilney apologizes under the gaze of Catherine’s 5 siblings and mother.

Mr. Tilney wants to get Catherine alone so he can talk to her and asks her to show him the way to the Allen’s and mom’s a brick she knows why, she can sense what that “alone time” is going to be used for.

Wedding!

Tilney shares the rest of the story and why she was sent away. I love how Tilney is so angry at his father and doesn’t want Catherine to blame herself. I also like when Catherine asks, what did he say and Tilney refuses instead telling her what he said. I don’t need to know what General Tilney said, I can lready surmise it in my head.

Catherine Morland: He thought I was rich?

Henry Tilney: It was Thorpe who misled him at first. Thorpe, who hoped to marry you himself. He thought you were Mr. Allen’s heiress and he exaggerated Mr. Allen’s birth to my father. You were only guilty of not being as rich as you were supposed to be. For that he turned you out of the house.

Catherine Morland: I thought you were so angry with me, you told him what you knew. Which would have justified any discourtesy.

Henry Tilney: No! The discourtesy was all his. I-I have broken with my father, Catherine, I may never speak to him again.

Catherine Morland: What did he say to you?

Henry Tilney: Let me instead tell you what I said to him. I told him that I felt myself bound to you, by honor, by affection, and by a love so strong that nothing he could do could deter me from…

Catherine Morland: From what?

Henry Tilney: Before I go on, I should tell you there’s a pretty good chance he’ll disinherit me. I fear I may never be a rich man, Catherine.

Catherine Morland: Please, go on with what you were going to say!

Henry Tilney: Will you marry me, Catherine?

Catherine Morland: Yes! Yes I will! Yes!

I love this as earlier whenever Tilney was around his father he was a “good little soldier” and did what he was told. But here we see that he mutinied and went after the girl he loves, even if it means no inheritance.

And they awkwardly fly into each other’s arms and it so cute because it feels so real instead of Hollywood. Aw, I want a Mr. Tilney.

Aw, and all are happy as they marry and have a baby. And Eleanor’s love is rich and they too get to marry! And General Tilney is all alone, as he should be, so it is a happy ending for all!

I just love this movie, it is so perfect. My only complaint: it ends.

Why is it over?

So writing, amazing. The lighting was also really good as sometimes period dramas try to be authentic and are too dark you can’t see what is happening. Acting superb! And costumes? I love everything besides Mr. Tilney’s shirt with the ruffled cuffs. I espechially love this coat, although I couldn’t find a really good pick of it:

It’s beautiful, but also romantic as he rides across the fields, it flowing in the wind. It reminds me a lot of the romantic coat Ross Poldark wears in Poldark. 

I also love Catherine’s blue coat and I really want it. I might have to get my own made.

You know Catherine is not the wealthiest character in the Austen canon, but of all the adaptions I think she has the prettiest clothes. Everything she wears I love, and her hair always looks fantastic.

I like Catherine Morland’s outfits.

So that end another Horrorfest!!! I hope you all enjoyed it!

I hope you all have a fantastic and safe Halloween!

For more Northanger Abbey, go to North by Northanger (Or, the Shades of Pemberley)

For more Northanger Abbey (2007), go to Storybook Ending: Northanger Abbey (2007)

For more Northanger Abbey variations, go to Rational Creatures: Catherine Morland, Eleanor Tilney, & Lady Susan

For more films based on Jane Austen, go to Sense and Sensibility (1995)

For more Jane Austen variations, go to The Matters at Mansfield (Or, The Crawford Affair)

Nothing Will Stop It! Nothing Can Stop the Blob!: The Blob (1958)

Nothing will stop it! Nothing can stop the Blob!

So back at the beginning of the year my book club read Steve McQueen: The Salvation of an American Icon by Greg Laurie.

After I finished reading it, I thought it would be perfect to end Horrorfest IX with The Blob as I would have all my book reviews completed by then.

Yes, I was so idealistic at the beginning of the year. You see I am behind in my book club reviews. I am like 16 months behind.

Yes its bad. Eventually I will catch up, but as I hadn’t gotten to that book yet, I decided to move the review up and end on a different film.

This film is one of my favorite “B” horror films and I just love it. The first time I watched this film I saw it on TCM and I remember hearing this really interesting tidbit in the intro. Steve McQueen was offered 10% of the profits or $2500. At the time he had no money, very little food, and needed to pay the rent. He thought the film was going to bomb or have relative success so he took the paycheck. This film made so much money-people estimate he could have made as much as 40,0000. Everything in life is a gamble and you win some and lose some.

Here we go with the review:

So we start with a jazzy song written for the film. It was supposed to be in the style of The Monster Mash, but to me it sounds weird with the film-like it should be less dancing and more grim in my opinion. It became a huge hit and was on the Billboard Charts.

We start the film off with two teens making out, one is Steve Andrews (Steve McQueen) the other Jane Martin (Aneta Corsaut). They stop as Jane is upset as she feels used and that Steve just brought her up to neck, and doesn’t really care about her. Steve tries to reassure her, but it doesn’t seem to help. He finally convinces her that he is being honest and cares when they are interrupted by a shooting star streaking across the sky and crashing. Steve wants to get it, so the two drive off to look. Be careful, sometimes a shooting star is more than you think it will be, case in point:

Meanwhile, an old man and his dog who live up there are awoken by something-the dog barking like crazy and freaking out. The man leaves the dog inside and goes to investigate ad finds a huge hole with a little meteor in it.

Hmmm…

The man pokes it with a stick and it unfurls-it’s pretty gross and it actually reminds me of Alien when we first see the Xenomorph XX121 things.

The man puts the stick to it and it goes right into it and grabs the old man. He tries to get it off but can’t.

Steve and Jane come looking for the meteor but don’t see anything and they decide to head back into town and eat. While they drive the old man come running out into the road-they stopping just in time. The man is screaming and upset, so Steve says he ca take him to a doctor. Steve almost touches the old man’s hand, but the old man pulls away, thank goodness.

Every time they show Steve McQueen I am struck by how gorgeous he is with those ice blue eyes.

The doctor is supposed to be heading out of town for a trip, asking his neighbor to watch his house. Luckily Steve catches the doctor right as he is leaving so he can look at the old man (or unluckily for the Doc I should say). To get there Steve had to drive around some other cars, something his friend don’t take too kindly. They will be back to settle it later.

That’s not good.

Adults are really suspicious of kids in this movie. Steve says they ran into the old man and the Doc gets all upset, Jane saving Steve by saying they picked him up. And its not just him, the cops act rude to the “kids” too.

Hmm…

Steve shows the doctor the hand and the blister has become bigger, consuming his hand.

The doctor sends them back up the hills to see if they find out what happened while the Doc consults his books. When they leave the doc’s office they see the guys from earlier, Tony, Mooch, and Al crowding around Steve’s car.

Tony wants to race as he can’t have his reputation damaged as being slower. Steve keeps trying to get out of it or brushing them off but but they won’t let him.

I like how the guy calls him King, since Steve was the King of Cool.

The two race backwards Steve stopping so the guys have a red light, but he can’t go forward as a cop pulls him over.  It’s thankfully Lt. Dave and not the kid hating cop. I love this scene when Steve is trying to talk himself out of a ticket, it makes me think of my nieces and nephews when they get in trouble and try to talk themselves out of it without actually admitting it.

Steve Andrews: I’ll never do it again.

Lt. Dave: You’ll never do what again?

Steve Andrews: Uh…[speaks softly, not looking at Lt. Dave] whatever you think I’m doing.

It cracks me up.

After the cops, the guys are all friends again. The race has been forgotten. Steve invites the guys to come with and help with the Doctor’s task of seeing if they can find anything helpful where the old man was found, but the guys want to go to the movies and see the midnight flick. Steve convinces the boys to come help.

Meanwhile, the Blob is growing larger on the old man. And the Doc is more confused, calling a friend to consult but he has already left for the convention. He then calls his nurse as he plans to amputate the parasite on the old man.

Back with Steve and the gang they find the hole and the meteor shell plus the lantern the old man had. Jane hears a dog barking and wants to investigate, she calls Steve to come with her, but I never noticed this before he is the last to leave. I think it is interesting how he really thinks about meteors and shooing stars and knows a bit about it. Maybe earlier the line of him coming out to that makeout spot to watch the sky wasn’t a line to get with Jane, but he maybe he is into astronomy.

The friends leave to the movies and invite Steve and Jane to join them. But Steve refuses, as he’s thinking about the meteor.  He and Jane go back to the Doctor’s, Jane taking the dog as she can’t stand to lave it behind and starve.

The nurse and Doc are getting ready, the Doc waring her not to touch whatever is on the man. She goes to get the old man’s pulse and he’s gone, just a blob of something-bigger now.

I know people make fun of this but just think if that was real-that would be so creepy. It’s like a jellyfish-Jellyfish have no bones, brains, blood, etc.-they are basically teeth just floating and consuming. You can’t reason with it.

The doctor and nurse try to stop it, she throws acid on it but it doesn’t stop it. The thing…excuse me that’s another movie…the blob consumes her while the Doc goes for his gun, the lights being knocked out and the doctor can’t see. He tries to use his gun, but it can’t stop it-nothing can stop the Blob!

Aahhh!!

Steve goes to the Doc’s but everything is closed and dark. He goes to check the garage and sees the doctor consumed by something.

Ahhhhhhh!

Steve goes to tell the police the Doc was killed, but falters when it comes time to explain as to what he saw. He tries to tell Lt. Dave but Sgt. Jim Bert, the kid-hater, refuses to listen. Dave overrules him and they go investigate the Doctor’s office. At the Doc’s they can’t find anything. Everything looks as if the doctor left-no trace of him at all. They do find a mess in the doctor’s study, like a struggle as the room is all messed up and a shotgun having been fired but no shots or shot marks.

Burns is just yelling at Steve thinking they are playing a prank and ouch-Jane sends out a zinger.

Lieutenant Dave: Hold on, Jim, the kids couldn’t have done this. You saw for yourself, the window was locked from the inside, and so was the door.

Sgt. Jim Bert: They rigged it with a piece of string to lock from the outside to make us look silly.

Jane Martin: I think you’re doing a good job of that all by yourself, Sergeant.

The neighbor, Mrs. Porter, says the Doc left for the convention. Mrs. Porter is no help explaining everything away so the cops don’t believe Steve. The police tell her not to touch anything in the “crime scene”, but she refuses she wants to clean up.

At a nearby garage two guys are working on a car, when the Bob comes around and consumes a guy under a car.

The police brought them to the station and called the parents. Jane’s dad is very upset as he is the principal and it damages his reputation. Steve’s dad is much calmer. Mr. Andrews, Steve’s dad comes to his defense saying that he wouldn’t lie about this-about breaking in somewhere.

Dave sends the kids home but it doesn’t sit well with him, something doesn’t feel right.

Hmm…

The cops argue with each other should we charge them or not? Dave thinks that the have no reason to as they will wait and speak to the doctor in the morning. We also find out Sgt. Jim Bert hates kids as one crashed into his wife and she died. Aw. Poor guy.

Jane is trying to sneak out of the house when her little brother Danny spots her leaving. She tries to keep him quiet, but man this kid is yelling. Every time I watch this all I can think is how do her parent’s not hear them?

Steve is asleep in his bed, at least until his parents think he is as he too sneaks out of the house and right into Jane. It’s funny that she scares him like a little kid.

Steve is completely freaked, I know I would be if I witnessed what he did. He tells Jane-the trauma and how he feels crazy. Jane is a good girlfriend and tells him she believes him. But Steve is starting to wonder…did he see what he think he saw? No, he know he did! Didn’t he?

Jane us such a great girlfriend she zones in what he is feeling and tells him not to convince himself it didn’t happen as he knows it did.

Steve is unsure what to do next as they might end up getting killed by whatever the thing is. Jane suggests they get Tony, Mooch, and Al to help them search. Steve goes to the movies and not only convinces his friends, but their dates to help them, they are such good friends.

The kids go looking for the Blob and to warn people, but everyone laughs them off and no one takes them seriously.

Steve and Jane find the dog by Steve’s dad’s store. The door is unlocked which is strange as the last employee should have locked up and gone home.

They look around the store in the dark, and it’s very creepy. The dark alway is as you don’t know what is out there.

Hmm…

It tuns out the Blob is in there and Jane faints when she sees it. Steve picks her up and tries to carry her out the back way, but the door is locked and the Blob moves fast. They are hurrying in the back and hide out in the freezer. Jane starts getting hysterical knowing that no one will come to help them as no one knows they are there. The Blob starts creeping under the door when it suddenly retreats? Why?

Hmm…from Saboteur

In the beginning the Blob was a blue black, then clear, and now a deep dark red. I never noticed before that the more it consumes the darker it gets.

Jane is freezing in the storeroom and still freaking out-similar to how Steve was the first time he saw it. Steve takes command and they slowly peek out to see if it is safe. They come into the store but it is still creepy as the lights are off and it is hard to see where the Blob might be. Steve and Jane run and get out and share with the rest of the gang that the Blob was in the store.

The kids call the police but Dave has gone home to bed and Sgt. Bert is there and refuses to listen to the kids as kids are all liars.

Ugh…this guy

The kids start driving up and down the streets making a lot of noise trying to wake everyone up. Soon everyone starts coming to see what is going on.

Steve tries to warn everyone but Bert still won’t listen. Steve is trying his best to convince them but the police are still not sure-although Dave knows that Steve is telling the truth that he is scared.

Steve Andrews: Dave, look at me! Do I look like somebody’s playing a practical joke? Am I laughing, or am I scared stiff?

Lieutenant Dave: He’s telling the truth.

Dave sends everyone home and gets the firefighters to grab guns and help them. Meanwhile in the movie theater all are having a good time when the Blob slinks through the air vent and attacks the projectionist. Then the movie cuts out and the Blob is coming down on the the seats. The blob has grown even bigger.

They have a Blobfest where this was filmed and they reenact this scene. I had planned to go this year but unfortunately…canceled like everything else.

People are running into the diner, but the Blob is coming for them.

Jan’s brother Danny shoots his pop gun and then hides in the diner. Where the heck are his parents? How did he get there?

In the diner are Steve, a waitress, Jane and Danny. The blob is on top. They have tried guns and nothing seems to be able to stop it. The police decide to drop a power line on it, the group moving to the cellar, but it doesn’t work.

That’s not good.

The diner catches on fire and the group starts coughing. There is no way out as they are completely surrounded and are going to die  by smoke or the Blob.

Reality Sucks

Jane is freaking  out but calms herself down to be strong for Danny, telling him everything is going to be alright.

The diner owner hasn’t accepted death and starts using the fire extinguisher which causes the Blob to retreat.

I-got-this-reaction-gif

Steve figures out that it can’t stand the cold, and that’s why it didn’t attack them when they were in the freezer.

SteveMcQueenTheBlobReally

Steve starts yelling to the phone, thank goodness it is one of those old ones, if it had been plastic it would be burned out by now. Dave sends the fire chief after some fire extinguishers while Principl Martin, Jane’s dad, takes Steve’s friends to the school to pickup all the ones there.

I was about to say something sarcastic like of course he brought his school keys with him in the middle of the night when it turns out he doesn’t and their have to break a window-Principal Martin doing it as he is so worried about his daughter and son in the clutches of the Blob. Good job writers!
loveitSupernatural

The police get through to the military while the rest of the people fight off the Blob with fire extinguishers. The group slowly makes their escape.

The freeze the Blob and It is transported to the Artic. Good, it can hang out with The Thing from Another World.

We end with a question mark, will we seeit again? I know I will watch it again. I still think it is a great movie after all this time and love watching it and Steve McQueen.

blob

In reading Steve McQueen: The Salvation of an American Icon, by Greg Laurie, he mentions that the film was made by a Christian company trying to reach the kids of today. Just for fun I tried to think of any Christian messages I could see a minister using to make a sermon.

You can be consumed by sin the way one is consumed by the Blob. “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

The way the adults treat the kids not listening to them or valuing their opinions because they are kids. “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young…” Timothy 4:12

When Steve gets his friends to help him look for the Blob warning them and knowing that if they encounter it they will most likely die, but his friends agreeing to help anyway: “There is no greater love than this: that a person would lay down his life for the sake of his friends. ” John 15:13

What do you think?

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For more visitors from another world, go to Gort! Klaatu Barada Nikto!: The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

For more “B” Horror Films, go to They’re Coming for Me Now…And Then They’ll Come for You: House on Haunted Hill (1959)

For more shooting stars, go to Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans: Stardust (2007)

b921ff084a95fcc9c4043880344d4ccd

What is This Thing?: Phantoms (1998)

Just what is this thing? Chaos, chaos in the flesh.

Phantoms is a 1998 film that is based on the book by Dean Koontz. The story is very creepy, and I was surprised at how well the film was done. I thought it was going to be done in a very stupid, silly way; but it was the essence of creepiness. The only thing I didn’t care for was Liev Schreiber, I felt that he didn’t portray the character very well in the beginning. I wouldn’t have chosen Rose McGowan either, but she did surprisingly well. I loved Ben Affleck as the sexy Sheriff and love interest. I love Ben Affleck though, I mean who doesn’t? They changed the film from the book, as expected, but the changes do not destroy the film, thank goodness. If you’d like to watch the film go here. So the film starts out with Dr. Jennifer Pailey bringing her trouble-making sister Lisa to live with her. They are hoping the change of scenery will help straighten her out as she was involved with gang members in Los Angelas.

I want to go back to LA

When they reach the town, it is empty. Like really empty. There is no one out and about even though they are in a ski town, in the middle of winter with great snow.

Gilmore girls creep

They continue on home. When Jennifer gets there she finds her housekeeper dead. All the life had been sucked out of her and she looks burned.

[Note: Pic from The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms not Phantoms

[Note: Pic from The Giant Behemoth not Phantoms]

OMG

The girls are widely freaked and decided to head to the sheriff’s. But there is one problem, their car won’t work.

Oh no!

Oh no!

The girls hurry on to the sheriff’s office where they find a deputy, burned and blackened. He appears to have shot his gun at something, but they don’t find any traces of it, except shells. Dr. Jennifer grabs a gun and the two run off to the bakery, as it is getting dark and they are really freaked out. They head to the baker’s, running quickly as they hear sounds as if someone is following them. When they get there the oven goes off revealing severed heads!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

The girls are completely grossed out and confused when the Sheriff (who ex-FBI) finds them.

Hello Sexy!

Hello Sexy!

With him are his two deputies Steve Shanning (Nicky Katt) and Stuart Wargle (Liev Shreiber) have come to investigate. They decide the best thing to do is go to the sheriff’s department, and just when they do every single horn, siren, whistle, bell, etc. goes off and then suddenly stops. The only lights left on are down on the Candleglow Inn up the street.

What the

They check it out and see that only four guests are registered. The Sheriff and Stu go upstairs, while the girls stay behind with deputy Steve.

While the sheriff is upstairs he goes into a room and starts looking through an opening in a closet. When he does he sees a vision of a young boy with a gun, which disappers. You see when the Sheriff was FBI he accidentally shot a boy, which made him quit and turn to small town life.

Aw! Look at his face. :(

Aw! Look at his face. 😦

Stu goes in the other room and finds a beautiful, dead woman. He sits next to her and puts his hand up her leg…

ew! Gross Yuck

What a perv!

Certified Creepo Ribbon

Then the Sheriff walks in. He lets it go, even though he is severely grossed out as he knows what Stu was doing, but he needs every man he can get as he has no idea what the situation is.

The Sheriff has Stu watch the hall as he continues checking things out. Stu comes on to Lisa who tells him flat out no, she is not digging that.

I don't think so

Dr. Jennifer joins the Sheriff and they discover that a bathroom locked from the inside (that has no other windows or doors) is empty, with something written on the mirror in lipstick. The writing says “Dr. Timothy Flyte–The Ancient Enemy“.

Phantoms Timothy Flyte Ancient Enemy mirror Note

 

The two have no idea who Dr. Flyte is but intend on finding out.  In another empty room they find a bunch of metal objects like jewelry, buttons, watches, gold teeth, a pacemaker, etc.; concluding that this thing, whatever it is strips a person completely of everything, if it chooses.

EW!

EW!

They go back into the lobby to regroup and figure out their next step. But then they suddenly hear a woman crying out “Help me!” and Deputy Steve rushes out to save her. The Sheriff follows him, but when he gets outside all that is left of Steve is his shoes and a gun.

What the

They head back to the Sheriff’s office and put the dead deputy in a body bag. They then call for help–military, Dr. Flyte, anybody, but the line was so bad they don’t know whether or not it went through.

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! [Note: from When a Stranger Calls not Phantoms]

Bryce and Stu go through the dept. and pull out all their ammunition getting ready for–whatever the thing is that is trying to attack them. The lights go out and the creature takes on a Alien/The Thing (1982) feel. The next thing you know, Stu is dead.

victim

Too be honest, good riddance. He was a creep and I didn’t like him.

IDon'tTrustHimGreatGatsby

They also put Stu in a body bag and wait out the night.

We then switch to another part of the country- Dr. Flyte. Dr. Flyte (Peter O’Toole) is a tabloid worker in New York City. He used to a professor at Oxford, but they let him go as they felt his writings were “too silly”.

Phantoms Swine Peter O' Toole

 

Two FBI agents ask him to go to the small, winter, town of Snowfield to help solve what the “thing” is.

Back in Snowfield the three survivors are trying to figure out what to do next. Lisa tries to take a nap while the Sheriff tells Dr. Jen about how the monster called up the incident with the young boy. The two are interrupted when Lisa asks the Sherif to walk with her to the bathroom. He checks it and finds it clear. Lisa begins to smoke when she hears a squealing noise coming out of the drain.

Psycho-Shower

She checks out the bathroom stalls (much like Scream) and finds the Deputy Stu there!

im-back

 

Scream-Casey-Becker-drew-barrymore-31896958-2560-1088

In the book the “Phantom thing” was more like the Blob from The Blob (1958); although it could take on the shape of other things, or create small phantom pieces of itself. In the film, however, the “Phantom” embodies the form of Stu, which is understandable from a filmmaker point of view. It doesn’t copying The Blob at all, as I mentioned earlier copying The Thing. Just like The Thing, the “phantom” takes on the appearance of something. This wasn’t a horrible decision as I bet it was easier to film. They also did a lot of blackout or limited lighting when the creature was in its true form, which allowed it to remain creepy as your imagination creates it. The director of It (1990)  should have used the same technique, it would have been a better film.

I didn’t really care for Liev Schreiber, and thought he could have been much creepier. Instead he just comes off as a pervert. This film has actually ruined him for me in all other films. When I watch Kate & LeopoldScream, Scream 2, Scream 3, Lee Daniel’s the Butler, or X-Men Origins: Wolverine; I keep expecting him to do something perverted to all the women.

Yes I am

Yes I am

Anyways, back to the story. So the Sheriff goes into the bathroom and can’t find anything. They go down to check the body bags, but both are empty.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile Dr. Flyte is on route to Snowfield with military General Leland Copperfield, some mobile labs, an armored strike van, etc–all ready to take on whatever the “thing” is. They ask Dr. Flyte about “the Ancient Enemy”. Dr. Flyte explains that there were creatures, he calls “Ancient Enemy” who are amoeboid shapeshifters. This Ancient Enemy rarely feeds, but when it does, the effects are devastating and it was theorized that the Enemy either caused or aided in the extinction of the dinosaurs, the destruction of the Mayan civilizationRoanoke disappearance, the missing army of Nanking, China in 1939, etc. And the town appears to have been built on the home of one of these “Ancient Enemies”.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

The group arrives to Snowfield and the three survivors come to meet the army. The next thing you know, “the thing” has taken out almost the whole team using its shape-shifting qualities and the pipes/sewers. Now these scenes are pretty intense. I was watching them and screaming and my roommates were all, are you ok? I highly recommend watching this film.

General Copperfield is last of the military to be killed; as a pair of oily black tentacles seeps up through the pavement, penetrates his hazmat suit, and smothers him.

[Note: From The Mist]

[Note: From The Mist]

This leaves Dr. Flyte, Sheriff Bryce, Jenny, and Lisa as the remaining survivors..

He’s dead but the “Phantom” uses his body as a mouthpiece and begins speaking to the crowd.

 “My Flesh. Study it. Write the gospel. But do not try to leave. Witnesses to the Miracle.”

Phantoms

The body then falls to the ground and an oily black substance comes out along with a gecko, of which the group is supposed to get a sample of. Dr. Flyte begins to analyze the sample, coming to the conclusion it has lived in the depths of the earth for eons, growing to immense size, and absorbing knowledge from its prey. It can separate off parts of Itself to send as drones, warriors, phantoms, etc.–having them assume the shapes of anything or anyone It has absorbed; even of people or monsters from memories and dreams.With these, It has manipulated Bryce, Jenny, and Lisa into bringing Dr. Flyte here, to be Its prophet, and to write Its gospel. For It has begun to think of Itself as God–or the Devil. Indestructible. All-Powerful. Immortal. Unstoppable.

This is bad. Very bad.

This is bad. Very bad.

Dr. Flyte’s analysis reveals that It is similar to oil and if they are able to make the same kind of bacteria that eats away at oil spills, they may just have a chance at stopping it. They create cultures and prepare for the final battle.

Dr. Flyte goes out and calls to the creature.

Fantomy_Phantoms_1998_1266246010-25163.jpg

He tells It that he needs to see all of it in order to write Its “gospel”. He says that the others are creating a weapon against It, that they don’t believe in It like he does. It appears first as a single person, but then becomes all 400 residents of the town, merging and melding into one swirling mass, which resolves Itself into an immense, hideous, upright millipede.

The Sheriff, Jenny and Lisa run and fire the guns loaded with the bacteria culture  into It. This causes It to scream.  Jenny and Lisa run for shelter into the nearby deputy’s office, to reload their guns but are pursued by a drone of Deputy Stu.

Deputy Wargle: Oh, you've got some guns, ladies, you wouldn't shoot an unarmed man, would you? [both women cock shotguns and point them at him] Deputy Wargle: That's a dumb question.

Deputy Wargle: Oh, you’ve got some guns, ladies, you wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man, would you? [both women cock shotguns and point them at him] That’s a dumb question.

They empty their shotguns into him, knocking him down, and blowing away huge chunks of his legs and arms. Tentacles shoot out of his arm and leg stumps. The girls run away and and he follows, but is killed by Dr. Jen as she shoots him with the last of the culture.

The bigger entity is falling apart and the Sheriff follows the last of It down into the sewer, finding him face to face with the boy that he killed. He hesitates, and while he does so, a tentacle shoots out of the boy’s mouth, and knocks him down. His gun with the culture is stolen by It. It pulls the vials out and starts taunting the Sheriff. In response to It’s mockings the Sheriff pulls out his gun and shoots the vials, causing the bacteria to spread all over.

Hello Sexy!

With one final ear-shattering scream It is gone, and Bryce makes his way back to the others. As a helicopter arrives to rescue them, Dr. Flyte announces to the others that the Entity has won after all: It wanted him to tell the world, and that’s just what he’s going to do. Everything seems to end well, or well enough. Dr. Flyte has his story and will win back his prestige; Sheriff Bryce  is no longer traumatized about killing the boy; Dr. Jen and Sheriff Bryce have found each other; and Lisa and Dr. Jen have bonded. Sounds as perfect an ending you can get for a horror film.

TheEnd_Title_2

Uh, uh uh. Not quite yet!

We switch to a scene in a bar where Dr. Flyte is in TV talking about It and how it may still be out there waiting. One of the guys in the bar turns to his companion and says its a lot of hooey. A strange laugh is heard and at the end of the bar is Deputy Stu Wrangle, showing that It is still alive.

dun-dun-duuuun

So it really was a good film, and I’m telling you the scenes with the creature are super creepy!!! You’ll love them if you love scary movies!

phantoms-

So unlike the other facebook cover pages I have made (and you should have guessed by now that practically every post has one) I made two for this one as the first one wasn’t working out right. Here’s the second one for those of you interested.

1998_phantoms-

Comment below which you think is better!

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Hidden Within

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For more monster movies, go to Let Them Fight

For more films based on books, go tA Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more on Rose McGowan, go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?

For more on Ben Affleck, go to Pot o’ Gold