I Found this Blank Book of Stitched Together Pages…I’ll Record the Details of Our Confinement: Book of a Thousand Days

Day 4) D is for Diary: Choose a novel or memoir in Diary form

Now I’ve never really been a diary person, whether writing or reading. In fact I had a diary when I was younger and on every page the only thing I wrote was “I wish I had a cat,” then going on to describe what I wanted the cat to look like and then ending every entry with “I hope my sister doesn’t find my diary and read it.”

notaproblemwalktoremember

So diaries, yeah were not all that interesting to me. I thought that I never did anything worth writing down or when I was older couldn’t find the right words to express what I was feeling or thinking. And the same goes for reading diaries. A lot of times I found them hard to get into.

I don't like it 11

The only ones I really cared for were the Dear America or the Royal Diary book series; but even that only went so far. And besides, I only read them as I really liked history.

historyteach

So I started to think what book to use when I suddenly remembered a book in a diary format that I just adored:

bookofathousanddays

Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale

I was first introduced to Shannon Hale when I stumbled onto her junior/young adult fiction book, The Princess Academy in the stacks at my local library years ago.

library

I thought it was so good that I decided to read her other books as well (and purchase my own copy of the book, plus two for young ladies I know). I liked The Goose Girl, thought Austenland had some great parts to it (will be reviewing soon), but really fell in love with Midnight in Austenland and Book of a Thousand Days.

So Book of a Thousand Days is based on the fairy tale “Maid Maleen” by the Brothers Grimm. The story is that of “true bride”; one bride is false while the other was the one who was truly promised to the prince to be married, having to do tasks or try to prove her claim. Now while her work is based on this, the story is just so phenomenal. I don’t know how such a small tale could inspire her to create this amazing book.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

but that’s enough going on with how great the book is, let’s get into the story!

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Don't fall.

Part I: The Tower

So the story takes place in a world not unlike ours but really has no exactly recognizable Earthly location or time period.

The place is the Eight Realms, of which lords and ladies rule. Between the Norther Wastelands and the Southern desert we have Vera’s Blessing, Carthen’s Prayer, Pride of Nibus, Goda’s Second Gift, Thoughts of Under, Titor’s Garden, Song for Evela, and Beloved of Ris. All realms are named after the different gods and goddess in the pantheon the people worship.

In the middle of the realms is the Sacred Mountain and the Steppes, the place our main character comes from, but not exactly where the tale begins. As this is a diary format, we begin in the middle and have to stop to go back to the beginning.

So the book begins with Day 1; Dashti and Lady Saren are  being shut up in a tower for seven years.

What

What

I know, immediately you find yourself sucked in. What? Why?

what what'shappeningSupernatural

Lady Saren’s father is bricking them in and has placed guards outside to make sure the girls can’t leave. He has decided that this is the right punishment for Saren’s disobedience. He has left enough food in there to last seven years (hopefully), upon a certain date they will be allowed out once again.

outrageous

Lady Saren’s father is the ruler of Titon’s Garden and has turned an old lookout tower into their prison. Lady Saren just spends her time crying, shrieking, and always saying she is hungry. Dashti is Saren’s maid and after the last few years of harsh living on the Steppes she is amazed and grateful for the bounty that has been given to them, although saddened at losing the sky.

There is so much food in the tower, more than Dashti has ever seen in her life, with milk delivered everyday by the guards, and tons of parchment so Dashti can write her story.

Thinking Hmm

On Day 11 we are given the story of their predicament. Dashti was raised as a Mucker on the Steppes. Muckers are herders who live with the sheep, yaks, etc.; in harsh muddy and rocky conditions. Her father died when she was a baby and her brothers abandoned the family when she was eight. She and her mother did all they could the next seven years to survive; earning enough for food mostly by living on the outskirts of society and through the healing songs they sing.

After her mother died, Dashti came to the city to try and find work, being unable to survive without a clan in the Steppes. She was taken to be trained as a lady’a maid where she learned reading, writing, sums, etc. The day she graduates from this training, and takes the oath of servitude,  she goes to Lady’s Saren’s to be her maid and fins herself being taken along on this tower punishment.

escalatedquickly

Lady Saren’s father wishes her to marry the Lord Khaser, ruler of Thoughts of Under, and was furious to find out that she had betrothed herself to Khan Tegus of Song for Evela. Wanting to crush his daughter’s will he decides to imprison her in the tower.

What jerks

What jerks

Dsahti tries to help her mistress, but none of the songs help. Everyday Saren lives in mortal fear of Lord Khaser? But why?

suspicious Hmm

One day Khan Tegus comes to see them. Dashti tries to get Saren to talk to him, but she refuses as she is too frightened. She sends Dashi in her place as it turns out not only have the two not seen each other since they were much younger, but have only conversed in letters.

letter

He’s never heard her voice really, so he won’t recognize Dashti as an impostor. They communicate through the flap the girls receive their milk in, but the way it is makes it impossible to be seen.

Dashti has no idea how gentry speak to each other as she has grown up on the Steppes, but just is herself. Never feeling special as she was born with red splotches along the side of her face and arm, nonetheless she has a beautiful and kind spirit:

TrueBeautyWhoYOuAre

She also has a fun nature which harmonizes with Tegus perfectly.

He wants to rescue the women but knows that if he did it would bring a war between the two,  and he’d rather not fight Saren’s father and brother. Instead, Khan Tegus stays for several days and speaks to Dashti at night when the guards are asleep.  Their relationship is so adorable I just love it. Ship is locked, loaded and has sailed.

Twocharacterstogettogether

Both characters love to laugh, and as Tegus loves Dashti’s laugh he continues to try and bring it.

uncleJesseFullhouselaugh

Dashti can hear in Tegus’ voice that he has an old wound that ails him and sings him a mucker song. No one knows why, but these songs have a way of creating relief in others, a balm of deep healing for their wound or worry. Of course it doesn’t work for everyone as you have to both be open to the Mucker singing to you and be open about what your true wound is, whether it goes deeper than just a physical injury.

MusicMakesaDifference

Khan Tegus must return home, although he is extremely reluctant to do so, as he wants to not only stay, but free his love (which as you can guess is rapidly becoming Dashti over the true Lady Saren). He must go, but before he leaves, he gives Dashti a kitten; and in return Dashti gives him her shirt.

How cute

How cute

As they days go on, the girls talk about memories and history to amuse themselves. Dashti remembers when a shaman stayed with them once, and how he had he power to shape shift into a fox, while Saren counters with telling Dashti that once the realms were united under one Khan, who’s seat of power was Song for Evela. But now all are broken up with individual rulers, Khan Tegus being called Khan is a continuance of title from those days. This opens up Dashti’s mind as so little education into history is given on the Steppes.

The days pass with very little happening, until Day 158. Lord Khaser comes and threatens the girls; his voice and demeanor being truly terrifying. Here is an incredibly scary villain, one of the most frightening, sadistic, and cruel.

tumblr_dr.jekyllhydemirrorsneakupbehindscareaah!

On day 223 Lord Khaser returns. When Saren once again refuses to marry him he throws fiery chips. The girls have to run and try to put them out before they are cooked.

Not good

Not good

Lord Khaser tells them that Saren must agree to marry him now and leave with his troops or will have to wait out her six years in the tower. Instead of answering, Saren dumps her chamber pot out the flap and right into Lord Khaser’s face.

hahafelixlaugh

But their laughter is short-lived as that night the guards are attacked by…something. It doesn’t sound like a battle but a living nightmare. When something tries to attack them, a wolf like creature, My Lord the cat jumps out to save the girls and isn’t seen again.

1Star-Wars-Luke-NOOO-Not-my-father

With the cat gone the rats come back and try to get their food. No guards for help, they need to stretch their food as much as they can. Not to mention the biggest rat of all, Lady Saren is trying to eat everything she can.

eatinghobbyilovelucy

Dashti does all she can but Saren is completely set on the fact that they won’t make it much longer. Now being stuck in a tower with someone you may die with, means that you reveal all kinds of things about yourself. And here Hale is fantastic in creating these two complex and real characters. Dashti: humble, kind, serving, helpful, with a thirst for knowledge and a foundation of common sense. Saren on the other hand has been constantly belittled by her father, told she is an empty flower pot, had her dreams scoffed at, and told her only lot in life is to marry gentry and create more gentry.

aw cry

Day 928- Men come to the tower. The guards were killed but Saren’s family never sent anyone, strangely.

weirdtwilightzone

The men come and talk about a beautiful lady in a tower, trying to get in there and get her. As they go around the tower trying to break in, Dashti  has a knife and is prepared to fight for her life and Lady Saren’s.

rosemary'sbabyknife

The men don’t make it in, but Dashti decides with the food supply dwindling from heat, rats, and Saren; they need to get out. She checks the cellar for where the rats come in, finds a hole and decides to attack it with everything she has until they can finally get out.

nevergiveupneversurrender

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

Part 2: The Adventure Thereafter

So the two don’t leave right away. After Dashti increases a crack in the cellar, they remain because of Saren’s “delicate nature”.

idon'tgotthis

Now being taken out of the tower she freaks out that they are going to be burnt up by the sun. It is a slow process but Dashti helps to motivate her to leave the tower.

But they find greater disappointment in the world. Everything has been destroyed, burned, and knocked down.

1Star-Wars-Luke-NOOO-Not-my-father

The only thing they find is a yak, which Dashti names Mucker. The three then head out to Song for Evela to appeal to Khan Tegus for help.

After what seems like endless days of emptiness they end up finding other people on the outskirts of Song for Evela. They tell them the news of Lord Khaser who has wiped out Titor’s Garden and is currently making war with Goda’s Second Gift.

Not good

Not good

Dashti tries to get Saren to go to Khan Tegus, but nothing will convince her to. Finally Dashti is so tired and all she can think is her love for the yak who helped them survive. Instead of trading the yak, or tying to procure employment; she gifts the yak to Khan Tegus. As they turn to leave, they find themselves hired. And now they work in the kitchen palace not to far from the Khan that holds Dashti’s heart.

iLoveyou

The other girls in the kitchen don’t like Saren, now called Sar. She doesn’t know what she is doing and moves very slow. One girl, Gal, is thirteen and is from Goda’s Second Gift. She was sent out before Lord Khaser came and has no clue what has happened to her parents or whether they are alive. Qacha is the other kitchen girl, a mucker like Dashti, who had managed to escape Khaser with her father and brother.

Life in the castle is tiring, but Dashti is used to hard work. She tries time and time again to get Saren to go to the Khan, but she refuses.

No thank youhowaboutno

One day, Dashti has a free afternoon and goes out to see a traveling show. She hears the story of the skinwalkers who offer their spirits to become shapeshifters. Before they can gain the ability to transform and have the characteristics of the beast; they must kill a close relation, the more they love them the more powerful they are.

Not good

Not good

After that story she leaves to see Mucker in the stable.

One day Dashti just happens to see Khan Tegus and seeing his handsome face brings back all the memories of what they spent together and causes her to fall in love all over again.

iLoveyou

Dashti wonders what he thinks of her, or Lady Saren really, but then she gets the shock of her lifetime: Khan Tegus is to wed Lady Vachir, ruler of Beloved if Ris in order to crete strong allies against Lord Khaser.

Whattheheck

To make things even worse, Lord Khaser has defeated Goda’s Second Gift and will be coming for Song of Evela before long.

One day the housekeeper of the palace calls for a mucker girl to help the Khan who is feeling bad. All the girls want Dashti to go as her talent is better than others as she melds the different healing songs together to heal throughout the body and soul.

She is afraid to go to him, as he might recognize her voice or the songs; but he doesn’t. Sadly.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

She gets called again and does the healing song but recognizes the hurt isn’t in his leg like he said, but there is another pain in his body. At first Khan Tegus refuses this additional help, but calls her once again. She sings another song for healing and surprises the Khan with her ability to read and write.

Before you know it she is moved up from the kitchen and has her own room! She continues to work for Khan tegus, scribbling away and content.

letter

One day she is called to help heal the Khan’a best friend. He’s been badly wounded by an assassin and the shaman attending says there is nothing else to be done. At first Dashti gives up, as she is no real healer; but when Khan Tegus calls her again, she is going to do all she can to help him.

I-got-this-reaction-gif

Dashti uses the songs to help his friend, and his soul returns to his body, out of the danger zone. The two them talk with Tegus granting her the use of his untitled name.

How cute

How cute

Dashti gets the biggest surprise of her life when My Lord the cat returns to them!

rainbreakfastattiffaneyscat

Lady Saren grows more and more unhappy, making Dashti tired and annoyed. But then Saren asks Dashti to kill her. All the pain Khaser has caused is bundled up inside her, as she feels guilty that she is to blame. Dashti does the only thing she can do, give the cat to Lady Saren.

kittylovecat

While the Khan has left days ago to fight and there is no news on that accord, Saren has done much better. Having someone to love her unconditionally and not be cruel to her has really changed her demeanor.

rainbreakfastattiffaneyscat

But then bad news comes. Lady Vachir returns with her ladies and so does Khan Tegus, severely wounded. Dashti wants to help him, but the shaman’s try to get rid of her. Dashti won’t give up and continues. After days of singing, the Khan is finally better.

Yes-Man-yes-man-11097494-1280-1024

While Dashti and Tegus continue to enjoy each other’s company. But bad news looms. Lady Vachir does not like Dashti and tries to discredit her, and Lord Khaser has arrived.

1Star-Wars-Luke-NOOO-Not-my-father

As they try to figure out what to do, Dashti remembers some strange things Saren said about Khaser being a beast. She goes to see her and try to get the story out about him. When Saren was twelve she and her father visited Lord Khaser. One night he calls her saying that her father needed her and took off his clothes, being naked before her. In the moonlight, he changed from man to wolf.

Film Title: The Wolfman Claw

Dashti goes to the war council and it turns out that Lord Khaser is trying to make a deal. He will kill 100 villagers unless they give him Lady Saren or Khan Tegus. As they try and figure out what to do, Dashti speaks up. Months ago Saren made Dashti promise to tell Khan Tegus she was Saren, to protect her. Dashti refused, but as she swore the oath and believes it to be the only way to save her Khan, she says she is Lady Saren, and has been going by her maid’s name. At first they are confused, but as she knows all that transpired in the tower, they decide she must be who she says she is. Tegus is ecstatic that Dashti is his true bride.

Yes!

Yes!

Dashti is given a grand room, and Saren to be her maid; but Saren wants to go back to the kitchen where she feels safe and useful. Dashti, on the other hand, has to figure out what to do about Khaser. She has revealed to them his transformation powers, but how can they use that to stop him? Besides Khaser has seen Saren and knows she isn’t her.

I don't know what to do

That night Dashti gets an idea. She goes to Batu who doesn’t want to help her, but as Dashti won’t give up he quickly finds himself with no choice in the matter.

Dashti goes out to battle, naked and barefoot so that  Khaser knows she is a woman with no weapon.  Khaser thinks it is a trick, but then is convinced that she is all she says. Dashti tells him she will sing a song of submission, but instead sings the song of the wolf.

wolfman statue on tiop of werewolf

Khaser then transforms in front of everyone.

The wolf goes to attack Dashti, breaking her leg when he pounces on her; but before he could attack her more, one of his men shoots an arrow at him. The wolf heads to his men and starts attacking them, ripping out the throats of two men. Soon everyone attacks him, and the wolf is killed, falling on Dashti and crushing her once again. Khaser’s right hand man tries to continue the battle, but without their wolf warrior all is over for now.

TheEnd_Title_2

After all that excitement there is the question who will marry Khan Tegus. Lady Vachir is the betrothed, and has the right to have killed any that would come between. However, if the chiefs decide that Saren’s betrothal was first, then she will get to wed him. Only problem with that, all think Dashti is Saren. And Sar is Dashti. Very big mess.

sermon_o_what_a_tangled_web

The chief’s choose Saren, and Tegus sets the wedding for nine days hence as he wants to marry her NOW. Dashti calls Saren and tries to fix this tangled web, but Saren refuses to tell the truth. Dashti cannot wed him in another’s name. She leaves a note and this diary and decides to flee.

psycho

Dashti stops at the kitchen to explain to the girls and  Saren why she must leave. But Lady Vachir has been watching and listening, and found out the lie, preparing to kill Dashti. Before that happens, Saren comes bringing Tegus. Dashti is thrown in a cell while they prepare to figure out what the truth is in the mess.

Not good

Not good

Tegus goes to see her but feels lost. Everything with Dashti seems right, yet she isn’t Saren and it seems Vachir’s claim is right, and she should die. Dashti gives him her diary and prepares for her end.

The_Wolf_Man_4Crying sad

Then comes the trial. The chief’s use all the entries in which Dashti complained about Saren and talked about her love for Tegus. They use it to prove Vachir’s right to kill her, but then Tegus speaks up.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

He reads all the times she didn’t want to be Saren but did as was commanded by her mistress. He then goes on to read how she destroyed Khaser. He also brings up the mucker way of doing things, such as offering a animal and if it is received by another family then they become part of that family. When she offered the yak and Tegus accepted, Dashti, under Mucker law, became part of Tegus’ family.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

That is not enough for Vachir, but then Tegus pulls out his secret weapon; Saren. Saren defends Dashti, calling her a sister and being powerful in her presence and defense. Tegus leads the way, and they find her innocent.

Prince Eric lose her

Vachir is unhappy, leaving as quicklyt as she can. Tegus and Saren are to be wed, but Saren passes her bethrothel on to her sister, Dashti.

Double double yay

The two are married and live happily ever after.

TheEnd_Title_2

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

I loved this book as Dashti is an amazing character. All she can see is she is worthless because she was born with red splotches on her face and arm and thinks she will never be fit to marry anyone, never have true love. She is blinded by her physical features, but we see the amazing strong, phenomenal person she is.

If only you knew how important.jpg

She is intelligent, able to care for herself and others, a good cook, brave, kind, compassionate, etc. The best person, amazing. But how often do we too have the same issue where we can’t see how amazing we are, instead only looking at our flaws or measuring our worth based on what our outside looks like instead of our hearts.

InnerBeauty

Besides the character of Dashti, I just adore this rest of the book and the relationship between all the characters. I read it again and again and again and again! I just can’t get enough if it.

OW

Thank you Shannon Hale.

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

To start the 30 Day challenge from the beginning, go to It Was a Pleasure to Burn: Fahrenheit 451

For the previous post, go to Your Cases Have Indeed Been of the Greatest Interest to Me: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi

For more on Book of a Thousand Days, go to A World of Teas

For more retellings of Fairy Tales, go to The Story, We’re Living it. It’s Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)

For more shapesifters, go to Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)

For more Virginia Woolf quotes, go to Six Degrees of Separation

For more Fred Rogers’ quotes, go to If Only You Could See

For more Oscar Wilde quotes, go to When You Least Expect It

christmas-flowers-banner

So I was trying to think of a Christmas Carol that goes with this book and settled on Go Tell it on the Mountain. It is an African-American spiritual song by John Wesley Work, Jr., written in 1865.

This song always makes me think of my childhood as I remember learning it when I was in Sunday school. It is a fun and great song.

I remember when I first heard it, it was sung by a woman but I couldn’t remember exactly who it was. I decided on Mahalia Jackson as she is a great singer and her rendition is one of the most famous.

christmas-flowers-banner

For more Christmas Carols, go to Harvest Pumpkin Scones

Advertisements

The Story, We’re Living it. It’s Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)

Brothers_grimm_movie_poster

The story, it’s happening to us now. We’re living it. It’s-it’s alive, it’s real, it’s breathing.

So remember way back in April, when I talked about how much I love the Brothers Grimm and all their stories?

brothers grimm fairy tales

Well for those of you who don’t, I loved them. I used to read the stories over and over and over again.

readingabkkid impression identity a part of us You've got mail meg ryan

They are such a huge, huge part of my childhood. I not only read them, but I read like every version of their tales. Such as Shannon Hale’s The Goose Girl; The Princess Test by Gail Carson Levine; or The Rumplestilskin Problem by Vivian Vande Velde. And that’s just naming a few, I’ve read practically every version and retelling out there.

LifeasaFangirl

So when I saw a trailer for The Brothers Grimm I was so EXCITED! I’m not quite sure what I was expecting, I don’t even remember what the trailer was like. I just know if it had the Brothers Grimm’s name on it. I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!

excited

My mom, sister, and went to see it and I thought…..

Whattheheck

 

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING? THE BROTHERS GRIMM WHAT? THIS THING IS SO CREEPY I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! SCARRED!!!

Needless to say I didn’t like it.

I don't like it 11

I didn’t understands half the things that were happening! I didn’t like most of the characters. And I thought it was one of the creepiest things I had ever seen. And I was like thirteen at the the time and saw many different films, but this one creeped me out. After a while, I kind of forgot about it, other than I liked Heath Ledger (he’s always awesome) and that I actually liked Matt Damon in this.

What the

I know, I know. If you have been following you should be shocked at that statement as I have said quite a few times how much I dislike Matt Damon. I just think he is a horrible actor as he is the same in everything!! However, he was so different in this film that I actually forgot it was him. And that is what a good actor does, they melt away so all you see is their character on the screen.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

Anyways, so time past and I completely forgot about this movie. That is until I saw it on Amazon Prime Instant Watch.

It's Paul!

Amazon’s all watch this!

And I thought, hey, ten years have past. Maybe it’s time to give it another view.

The plot thickens

Why not?

And as I remember it being a horrorish/comedy film (what I call Com-Ror), I can totally review it for horrorfest. So here we go. I present to you:

Brothers_grimm_movie_poster

So this film is actually a melting pot. It is a historical fiction, horror, comedy, and fantasy concoction.

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

And they actually work pretty well together.

So the film opens up with the poor Grimm family. The young sister is sick and they are all shivering from the cold as they have no more wood for a fire. Wilhelm, the oldest, is trying to be the man of the house and helping his mother while Jacob has gone out to sell the family cow. Instead of bringing back money, he has “magic beans”.

Spoke too soon

Poor, sweet, naive little Jacob. He was tricked into getting magic beans. The mom is sad, but Wilhelm becomes incensed and beats his brother.

escalatedquickly

I know we are barely into the film and already we have a dead father, soon-to-be dead sister, a boy tricked out of everything, and then one brother getting beat by the other. That’s a really dark opening scene for a family picture.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

And by now you can kind of see the direction this film is taking. It is going to be the story pieces occurred in real life and lead to the collection of tales we have today. I have to say I was actually down with that. It could be pretty cool. The sort of prequel to Once Upon a Time or something.

indiana_jonesoh_yesyeah

We then have the title and a killer opening scene. SUPER DRAMATIC! And I loved it! Dark night, rain, two strangers on horses with a note demanding entrance!

shiver

It was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, it turns out that Wilhelm (Matt Damon), or Will as he is more often called, and Jacob (Heath Ledger), or Jake are ghost hunters/witch killers/ monster destroyers. Basically the 19th century version of Dean and Sam Winchester.

Supernatural

Say What

When I first saw this I was like what are you doing? I’m pretty sure that there were nothing like that. After watching I had to read up on them.

It turns out in real life that Jacob was actually the older brother. Their father did die when they were young and they had to take care of the family, eventually going to school for law. But later during the Romantic period, they began collecting folk tales, creating the classic literature we have today.

keanu Whoa

How did they go from that to:

FBIMonster-Movie-supernatural-2654708-1280-720

Yeah…

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

This was one of the reasons I wasn’t really into this “modern”, twisted type of film, in fact a lot weren’t. This film was actually ahead of its time as if it had come out a few years ago (instead of 10) it would have fit right in with Red Riding Hood (2011), Snow White and the Hunstman (2012), The Raven (2012), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), and Hansel & Gretal: Witchhunters (2013)I mean look at that poster! Isn’t this something you would see today?

Brothers_grimm_movie_poster

Eliminating Evil Since 1812 this is something you would definitely see today.

Anyways, back to the review. So the brothers are in Karlstadt to get rid of a witch menacing a mill. This is actually a pretty awesome scene as they fight the witch. I wish I could find a video. Oh well. This is kind of what it looked like:

black cauldron

So this witch comes at them and attacks. They try and destroy her, but she starts to control them and they start to fight with each other.

Spoke too soon

They fight, but Will manages to overcome it and kill the ghost. They get paid and all is well until we discover that the whole thing is fake. They hire two guys to play the monsters of the folk tales around the area, and then the Grimms come in and save the day by ridding the area of them.

Oh jeez.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

You are taking folk historians and making them not only hunters but conmen.

IDon'tevenknowhowtorespondGilmoreGirls

Besides that, movie, I see what you’re doing.

do-you-think-im-stupid-do-you-not-see-the-glasses

This is going to be one of those films where they show a fake thing in the beginning that is going to be the direction the film goes to in the end. You know like in An American Werewolf in London, where he growls at himself in a mirror, only to later do the same things as a werewolf.

Gotcha!

Oh well.

I guess we will just have to wait to see how it turns out.

So while in reality Jacob and Will were the best of friends, in this Will is extremely cruel.

Jerk

When he goes to give Jacob his half of the money, his has to throw in one last dig.

Will: Your half professor, or would you like it in beans?

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

Come on Will, he was just a little boy!!!. He was trying to help!!!! Let it go!

LetGoofthePast

So while they are celebrating and having fun, we cut to the village Marbaden. A girl in a little red cape is looking through the forest. Now the forest is amazing! It is exquisitely beautiful and terrifying. It looks just like something out of an illustration in a book or a painting. The film was worth it for those moments alone.

-Jim-Carrey-beautiful-gif-UYfb

Anyways, the little girl becomes fightened and tries to outrun whatever it is, but doesn’t manage to and is taken.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

So as the the guys are celebrating their sucess, Jacob starts to feel down. He was a scholar and is unhappy as to what he is doing now.

All I could think was why isn’t he a scholar anymore? Did he lose his job? Was it because of the French? Time for a history lesson!

historyteach

So in 1837 the two lost their posts at the university of Göttingen as they went against King Ernest Augustus I who dissolved parliament and demanded oaths of allegiance from all employees. But this film takes place earlier than that…In the early 19th century, Napoleon was seizing control of the world and had gained Western Germany. It is logical that Jacob, being rather outspoken and prone to not always thinking before he speaks, refused to do something similar to what happened at Göttingen, and lost his position.

Jacob Grimm BrothersGrimm

Moving on…

Anyways, Will has gone on to be with some bar maids, while Jacob is scribbling in his book when a man charges in. It is the famous Italian torturer, Mercurio Cavaldi. He takes them to see French General Delatombe who is strangely played by the same actor who plays Elizabeth Swann’s dad in Pirates of the Caribbean.

brothersGrimm

They have discovered that the Grimms are conmen, having captured their other workers, and tortured them And this movie spares nothing, showing the men upside down and covered in snails.

Whattheheck

Yes, snails. I mean I hate snails and that would be torture to me, but is having snails on you really painful? Let’s look it up! And I found nothing so I’m unsure why they would do that.

Anyways, Delatombe demands to know where the 10 missing girls are. Jacob and Will have no clue what is going on.

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

Apparently someone has stolen 10 girls from the village of Marbaden. The French General doesn’t like that the German people are not listening and reverting back to their cultural ways. He sends the Grimms and their team to solve the mystery, or be killed. The Grimms heartily go.

Meanwhile, two siblings have decided to go looking for the missing girls, Hans and Greta (Hansel and Gretal). The forest steals Greta’s scarf away from her, using it to eventually lure her away and capture her.

WizardofOzAppleTreesDorothySmacked

Hans races home to find his father.

Back in the villlage the town has gathered and are telling the Grimm brothers everything that has happened. Who has disappered and how they have disappered.

brothersgrimm

As they are talking, Hans rushes in and relates what has happened. The Grimms are eager to get started and ask for a guide. They recommend the “cursed one”.

shiver

They go see the “cursed one”, who turns out to be Angelika. Her father was a great woodsman, but died last year in the winter snow, although a body was never recovered. Her two sisters were the first to be taken, hence making her “cursed”.

Reality Sucks

Angelika doesn’t want to help, but the torturous Calvadi convinces her, by almost killing her with a knife. And then he starts hitting on her in the nastiest way. He’s just ew!

ew! Gross Yuck

Yeah…

Certified Creepo Ribbon

So with all parties in accord they journey into the forbidden forest.

Now I just want to stop and say that I really like that while the film is predominately English (of course) there is quite a lot of dialogue spoken in French and German. I like when movies do that. Good going guys.

Take note Hollywood

Take note Hollywood

Back to the forest. Will is totally in his role saying how he “feels” things and can “sense” things.

And Jacob is all, whatever Will.

Karen stop talking

But he loves the forest as it seems as if all those stories he’s studied over the years are finally coming alive. In fact he believes that this particular story they are in is about King Childeric I’s beautiful Queen. She was the fairest of all, and cared only about herself. When the black plague came, she built a tower high above the forest and the dying people. Unfortunately she still caught it, but tried to use black magic to overcome it and live forever. The spell worked, but instead of remaining beautiful, she aged.

It was this bad.

It has been over 500 years and Jacob believes that not only is she in the tower, but she is behind it all.

Will on the other hand thinks that is the stupidest thing he has ever heard

stupidestThingeverheard

and that someone else is trying to con the villagers.

They find the tower in the woods, of which Angelika tells them that it was destroyed, but mysteriously grew back.

the-brothers-grimm-the-tower

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Some of the first creepy things we see are all these ugly black bugs coming out of stuff. It’s like The Mummy beetles or something. Then the trees keep moving all around. If that was me I’d want to get out of there asap.

Run Away

So far we have had beetles, creepy trees, and now birds. Creepy birds right out of a Hitchcock scene.

birds Brothers Grimm

Gilmore girls creep

They want to leave and are trying to go, but can’t find the way as the trees have moved around.

WizardofOzAppleTreesDorothySmacked

While everyone is distracted, a wolf transforms into a person, the woodsman.

I guess a backwards wolfman?

I guess a backwards wolfman?

And feeds one of the horses spiders. And guess which horse it is? Jacob’s.

mary_bennetCan't get a break

He leaves and the Grimm team regroups eager to leave the forest. Angelika grabs a toad and talks to it, licking its belly so it will point the way.

ew! Gross Yuck

DISGUSTING!!!!

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

At this point I was looking at Anjelika and thought, she looks really familiar. Where have I seen her before….?

suspicious Hmm

So I looked her up and it was LENA HEADEY. Man that woman, I CAN NEVER RECOGNIZE HER. She looks different in like every movie she is in. From The Jungle Book, to The Brothers Grimm, to 300, to Dredd, to Game of Thrones; man I never would have realized her characters were played by the same person unless you lined them up next to each other. And probably not even then. You’re good Lena, real good.

indiana_jonesoh_yesyeah

So they make it back to the village. The Grimms are working as Cinderella’s in girls clothes, by orders of Calavadi.

Whattheheck

I told you he was one real sicko.

Meanwhile, a little girl hears a voice calling her. She gets up to see where it is coming from and it turns out to be one of the horses making noises. She goes over to calm it down. ALONE!

Every time!

Now this part always bothered me. We see how SUPER protective the father was of his daughter, and she knew that pretty much every girl has been captured and taken away, why would you do this alone? I would have woken up my father and been like I hear something come with me.

Now this part is truly disgusting with the horse. All these spiders come and make a web that grabs the girl, and the horse swallows her. The third most horrifying scene in this film.

There is always a but

It is so disgusting and horrible, but also very well done. The Grimm brothers and friends follow them and her and the forest is truly horrifying.

When the tree kills the man, just ouch.

Calvaldi believes that the Grimm brothers killed his men with the help of Angelika, and they all head back to see the General. Now this is the second most horrifying scene when they torture them, trying to get them to confess. They kill a kitten! A KITTEN! Why would they kill a cute orange kitten in this?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

They convince the General they will stop it and head back to the village.

Now in this moment I realized how much I absolutely love Jacob Grimm.

Jacob-Grimm-heath-ledger-11279684-2560-1440

Jacob is a total fanboy!

FANGIRLJackSparrowPiratesoftheCaribbean

He loves folk and fairy tales, and has studied them for so long.

LiteraryAdventures

And now he is actually in the story!! He gets to be the hero of his favorite thing to read!!! How awesome is that!!! That is like every fan’s dream. I know it was mine. There were so many places I always wanted to visit and so many tales I wanted to be the hero of. I AM JACOB.

Anyways so Jacob is really excited, but Will isn’t. In fact Will wants to take off and leave this all behind.

WishlifelikebookbrothersGrimm

And what’s wrong with that? Doesn’t everyone?

fandomvsReallife

Anyways, so Jacob tries to convince Angelika to help him out.

Will Grimm: Ignore him. He wishes his whole life was something out of a book. And now he thinks he’s in love.

Jacob Grimm: Shut up, Will!

Will Grimm: Angelika, do what your father wanted: leave the village now.

Angelika: No, Will. I’m gonna find my sisters.

Jacob Grimm: Will doesn’t care about them. Will doesn’t care about anything but himself!

Will Grimm: This isn’t a fairy tale. They are not coming back!

Jacob Grimm: This is not your world, Will! [to Angelika] Angelika, you know, don’t you? The story, it’s happening to us now. We’re living it. It’s-it’s alive, it’s real, it’s breathing. And we can give it a happy ending.

Angelika: Jake…

Jacob Grimm: Angelika, we’ll find your sisters. All right? We’ll bring them back.

Will Grimm: [getting angry] Bring back her sisters? [kicks Jacob] Bring them back? Bring them back with what? Magic beans?

Jacob Grimm: Why do you say that?

Will Grimm: Magic beans don’t work! They don’t bring people back to life! They did not then and they will not now! You go wait by the horses! Jacob, wait by the horses!

Will is such a jerk, I totally want to punch him in the face!

Pride&PrejudiceDarcypunch

Will talks to Angelika, but Jacob will not be deterred and he runs off to the forest to try and save the girls.

Jacob Grimm BrothersGrimm

But Will chases after him.

When Jacob punched Will in the face finally I was so happy. Yeah!!!!

Finally something GOOD!

Finally!

So now the brothers are back to being a team, but while they are doing that, back in the village comes the most horrifying scene ever. This is not for the weak of heart. I swear, this scene scarred me FOR LIFE! FOR LIFE!!!!

HorrorfilmCan'tlookaway

So Sasha is going to get water from the well, when a bird falls in and…I can’t do the scene justice, you’re just going to have to watch it yourself.

OMG

That ball of goo coming to life

ew! Gross Yuck

Her face, eyes, and mouth melting away

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Then this black blob has her face and mouth and starts following her

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it goes inside and grabs her and eats her!

Tuesdaythe17th scream ah

And turns into a cookie and runs away!!!

Scream-Casey-Becker-drew-barrymore-31896958-2560-1088

I am SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! It gave me nightmares, it made it impossible for me to eat gingerbread for a few years. And I wasn’t a little little kid when I saw this either. I was 13. This scene, it just

shiver

I have to move on now.

So the Grimms are in the forest. Will has helped get Jacob on top of the very high tower,

Don't fall.

Don’t fall.

On the roof Jacob notices the coffins they saw before are numbered 12, like a clock.

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

Down below Will spots something strange in the water. It’s Sasha in a dress. He goes over to look at her, when the wolf comes.

wolfman

He changes into a person and we see his face, seeing that it is Angelika’s dad!!! He goes over to Sasha and places her into a coffin. On her feet form glass slippers, and he takes one drop of blood, giving it to a raven to give to the queen upstairs.

In the mirror she looks beautiful and young, but in reality she is an old skeleton.

Phantomoftheopera1925unmasked

She starts to charm Jacob, while below Will has to deal with her woodsman.

The whole breaking the mirror destroys the power of the witch reminds me of The Picture of Dorian Gray. The only way to kill Dorian was to destroy his picture, the only way to kill this witch, break the mirror.

BrothersGrimmBrokenmirrorQueen

They run back to the village with Sasha, Will being the one to kiss the frog to find out the way. When they get there, Sasha is prounounced dead as she isn’t breathing, even though Will saw her walk to the coffin. While they are trying to figure things out who should show up but the French General and a mass of troops.

They declare that the Grimms are really behind it all, having killed their two workers who “confessed” it all.

They decide they are going to burn down the forest and the Grimm brothers. As they are tied up and ready to start the pyre, they toss in Jacob’s book, his collection of tales. All I could think was

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

NOT THE BOOOOOOOOOOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anjelika has been able to free herself and she goes and saves the boys from being burnt to a crisp. Jacob tries to save his book, but Will drags him off as his life is more important.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

NOT THE BOOKS!!!!

you're evil

Now the Queen doesn’t appreciate anyone trying to destroy her home and sends out some magic that not only stops the flames, but takes out a few guys as well.

When the get into the forrest they run into the wolfman/huntsman who reveals to Angelika that he is her father. He was dying in the forest when the Queen found him and saved him. He is in love with her and would do anything for her. Even sacrificing his own children.

Star Wars Dark side power Darth vader

Not only did he take his two youngest girls first, but he snags Angelika to replace Sasha and complete the circle of 12.

How rude

I know he’s under a magic spell, but his OWN DAUGHTERS!!!

Will is totally unsure of what to do, while Jacob is in his element and has become even more attractive. Not only is set out on saving Angelika, but he also takes out the murderous General.

Jacob Grimm BrothersGrimm

It must be nice for Jacob to be the hero for once, instead of Will.

I noticed something about the French, German, and Italians. Everyone who is not German is a crazy psychopath. We have the murderous, vain, evil Queen; the gloutton, tortourous, evil General; Calvadi the pervert and master of torture; and then the general’s right hand man just as crazy and creepy. I think it was on purpose, trying to show the way that the Germans thought of the invaders, how stereotyped and evil they are. It works for the film.

New plan

Jacob climbs up the tower to kill the queen, but the knife he picks up is enchanted and he ends up stuck to the wall. I know that he had no other weapon on hand, but come on! She’s an evil sorceress, anything in the room that belongs to her, chances are she can control them!!!

Will ends up following Jacob and when he gets there the Queen enchants the knives so that they have a duel to the death. (Just like I said they would)

I think that is a pretty jerk move to slip from the knife so you brother can kill you. I understand why you do it as it is the only way to free one of you and have him save the day, but it still is pretty mean.

As Jacob is trying to figure out what to do next, the Queen decides that dear old dad, is too old, and turns her attentions toward Will becoming her love slave. As she is turning Will, Jacob finally remembers the mirror and destroys it, killing the Queen.

BrothersGrimmBrokenmirrorQueen

So Jacob is the hero!

      Jacob’s Hero List

  • Save the Girls ✓
  • Defeat the Evil Queen ✓
  • Save the Day ✓

Now if only he had a plan on how to get out of a crumbling castle.

meettheRobinsonsPlannotthoughtthrough

He makes it out okay, but it looks like he celebrated prematurely. The girls are still dead, or really frozen in eternal sleep.

Spoke too soon

Spoke too soon

Jacob is lost in what to do, but Calavadi, who has now become a “Grimm-y”, tells him that in his home country there is a story of true love’s kiss waking the girl. Jacob goes to kiss Angelika, but Calvadi warns him that if the love is not true than Angelika will die!

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

Jacob goes for the kiss and…

SleepingBeautyTrueLoveKiss

The spell is broken. All the girls come out and are alive and well.

Double double yay

Jacob goes over to Will, but he’s not moving…

Spoke too soon

Spoke too soon

Jacob is heartbroken, but Calavadi reminds him that a kiss could wake him too. As Jacob goes, Will interupts him. Yep it turns out that Will the stinker is alive and fine. Angelika kisses him to “wake him up”; and then everyone returns to town. There the village throws a big party, happy to have everyone back.

Will Grimm: I’ve been thinking of an alternative career path.

Jacob Grimm: Will.

Will Grimm: One that uses all of our new expertise.

Jacob Grimm: Will.

Will Grimm: Now, I haven’t really sorted it yet…

Jacob Grimm: Will, Will, Will, listen. This is the real world. We’re-we’re men without a country, we’re enemies of the state, and worst of all we haven’t a single bean to our name.

Will Grimm: It’s a good name, though, isn’t it?

Jacob Grimm: It’s a damn good name. Let’s dance. Come on!

TheEnd_Title_2

So how did I like it ten years later? I liked it. It made much more sense now that I was older and more used to this kind of film style. The CGI was pretty good for a 2000’s film, and the backgrounds were just beautiful. The story was so-so, but cute and funny, except for the three deranged parts. I don’t think this would be a movie I would purchase to add to my collection, but I definitely will re-watch it in the future.

halloween banner

2005TheBrothersGrimm

halloween banner

To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to It’s Mrs. Archer. She’s on a Rampage!: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

halloween banner

For more Brothers Grimm, go to If the Shoe Fits: Why Cinderella is Actually Awesome

For more fairy tales, go to The Fans and the Furious

For more Horror-Comedies, go to I am the Chosen One. And I Choose to Be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more on Heath Ledger, go to You’re Just Too Good to Be True: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

For more on Matt Damon, go to A Horse’s Tale: Chinese New Year