It’s Only a Chest. No Harm Ever Came From Opening A Chest. Yeah, Right, And No Harm Ever Came From Reading A Book. You Remember How That One Went?: The Mummy Returns (2001)

It’s only a chest. No harm ever came from opening a chest. Yeah, right, and no harm ever came from reading a book. You remember how that one went?

As I mentioned in my previous post of The Mummy (1999), I love The Mummy (1932), as Boris Karloff is an amazing actor; but these remakes starring Fraser are also some of my favorites! Who can resist this man:

And I wasn’t the only own who enjoyed the (1999) film, this sequel was greenlit by Universal the morning after The Mummy (1999) opened in May 1999.

While I love the first film, I have seen the sequel more times than I can count. When Hollywood Video (remember that rental place?) went out of business I scored a copy of The Mummy Returns, and would watch it over and over. In fact I’ve seen this film so many times it’s permanently burned in my mind.

I just love this movie. Brendan Fraser at his finest and hottest. Why can’t I find my own one of him?

But enough fangirling, let’s get on to the review!

The film starts off in the past with Ardeth Bay narrating a past event that will be impacting our future story.

In 3067 BC, the Scorpion King was trying to conquer the world, but was defeated and exiled to the desert of Ahm Shere. The Scorpion King doesn’t take defeat lightly, and sells his soul to Anubis in order to vanquish his enemies. He defeats them , but when he completes everything he is taken to the underworld…but that’s not the end of the story. It is said that one day he will rise again and whoever defeats him will control his army and send them to hell or control them.

Fast forward to 1933, and the O’Connell are doing well for themselves. They had all that treasure that Benni put on the camels, Rick and Evie were married, they have become famous in their field and are asked to excavate all kinds of places, and they have an adorable precocious son, Alex. If you think about it too hard you realize that Alex is too old to fit the timeline, but the director didn’t want to work with a baby, I get it.

They are going through some ancient ruins when Evie has a weird vision/long asleep memory and is transported back to the time of Imhotep. She sees herself as Princess Neferteri fighting Anck-su-namun. In the vision/memory she sees herself losing but granted her father’s head of security while Anck-su-namun is to wed her father. This is where the backstory connects to the one we had in the previous film, as Anck-su-namun does not want to marry the Pharoah but loves Imhotep; although you can’t say no to Pharoah. Hence the whole adultry, murdered Pharoah, Suicide of Anck-su-namun, and Imhotep’s burial.

We are all caught up now!

Rachel Weisz and Patricia Velasquez trained for five months for their fight scene. They did the fight without any stunt women. Amazing!

Evie is confused, and Rick shrugs it off; even though her memory helps her figure out where the bracelet of Anubis is. They are up against some other people searching for the bracket but the are washed away by the Nile, as removing the braclet triggers a booby trap. Rick and Evie are saved when Alex accidentally knocks the pillars over and keeps them from drowning. The scene is very reminiscent of when Evie knocked over all the bookcases in the first film.

While the O’Connells head home we shift to Egypt where Meela Nais (Patricia Velazquez) is searching for Imhotep. She believes she is the reincarnation of Anuck-su-mun (and is played by the same actress), wokring with Mr. Halez, Lock-Nah, and a whole cult who wants to awaken Imhotep so he can defeat the Scorpion King. They discover him and the Book of Life, planning to awaken him, when they are interrupted by our earlier thieves who let them know they lost the bracelet, but they know where it’s going.

After their trip, the O’Connell trio they return home where things go from 0-100

• Rick wants to relax but Evie wants to go on a new dig site.
• Jonathan is having a party with a show girl and pretending that the O’Connell house is his when Meela Nais comes in with mercenaries who rough Jonathan up thinking he is Rick. They also threaten to kill him
• Rick enters the room and starts fighting, joined by Ardeth Bay who has come as he discovered that they found the bracelet of Anubis and has been watching the cult
• Alex puts the bracelet of Anubis on and cannot take it off, hiding a statue in the box instead
• Evie is captured and taken away

Our guys head after them, discovering the cult is working out of the British Museum to rescue her with Arderth giving Rick, Alex, and Jonathan a brief rundown on what’s happening. He’s worried about the cult using the bracelet to discover the Scorpion King’s pyramid, but Alex reveals he has it. This does not turn out to be good news:

Ardeth Bay: [To Alex] By putting this on, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse. [Alex gasps]

Rick: [to Ardeth] You, lighten up. [to Alex] You, big trouble. [to Jonathan] You, get in the car.

Ardeth Bay: I am sorry if I alarmed your son, but you must understand, now that the bracelet is on his wrist, we have only seven days before the Scorpion King awakens.

Rick: We? What we?

Ardeth Bay: If he is not killed, he will raise the Army of Anubis.

Jonathan: I take it that’s not a good thing?

Rick: Oh, he’ll wipe out the world.

Jonathan: Ah, the old “wipe out the world” ploy.

On the way to the museum, Ardeth Bay notices a tattoo on Rick’s arm. He asks about it and Rick can’t remember when he got it, he’s had it as long as he can remember believing it was given to him when he lived in the orphanage in Egypt. Ardeth believes it was fate that brought them all together as it is a mark of the magi. Rick however, doesn’t even believe him.

I’m done (from Mean Girls)

Back at the museum, the cultists begin their ritual to awaken Imhotep, although he’s not in his full form. Remember he needs to consume three people who open his chest in order to achieve full immortal on Earth status. Most important thing I learned from The Mummy (1999), you should always have a cat around.

Rick and Ardeth watch the cultists to find their opening, while Jonathan and Alex wait in the car. I love how Jonathan hasn’t changed and is basically on the same maturity level as Alex.

Meela had brought Evelyn to Imhotep as a gift as she knows their history. Weird, but whatever. They were going to kill her by throwing her in a fire pit but that’s when our man, Rick comes storming in and saves the day.

What a man!!!!

A fight ensues when Imhotep being a poor sport as he awakens his priestly mummies to attack them.

Our hero’s find and opening and flee where they then have to ride a double decker bus to safety. Why a bus and not Rick’s car? Well while they were waiting Jonathan broke the key and they had to find alternative transportation. This is such a great scene as we have them speeding through London being followed by mummies.

After they defeat the mummies they think they are in the clear, but Alex is kidnapped by Lock-Nah who figured out Alex had the bracelet. Evie and Rick are both heartbroken, but Ardeth tells them that no harm can come to Alex while he wears the bracelet. It is little comfort to them as their son has been KIDNAPPED! They decide to follow and try to save their son, joined by Ardeth and Jonathan. Rick gets them a ride on his old friend’s Izzy’s dirigible, bribing him with Jonathan’s gold staff as their last adventure made him extremely hesitant to join them.

Meanwhile Meela is excited for Imhotep and her’s relationship, but at the same time she is still disgusted by his mummified appearance. Imhotep uses his powers to change her perception of how he looks to her and again I’m like ew. He probably has bed breath and is all gooey- icky.

Imhotep and his group are ready to head out, using Alex and the bracelet as a guide. Alex is very stubborn and intends to not help them get to the Scorpion King’s oasis, however, Imhotep reveals to him that if he fails to make it to the pyramid by the time the sun rises on the eighth day he will die. Alex is definitely on board to make sure they get there in time, but that isn’t the only business that Imhotep needs to settle. The thieves from earlier who failed to get the bracelet have continued to cause problems, they put them on one of the train cars with Imhotep’s ceremonial jars and of course they open them and are consumed.

Imhotep is has fully regenerated and while Alex tries to flee, Imhotep captures him and discovers the next leg of the journey as the bracelet reveals it all.

While at their break Imhotep puts Meela in a trance to have her remember her “previous life” as Anuk-su-mun. Him doing so also puts Evie in a trance. Both relive the backstory we saw in the previous film. Imhotep and Anuck-su-mun in love, killing the pharaoh, etc. Evie becomes so overcome when seeing it that she almost falls out of the dirigible. Again Ardeth insists that Rick and Evie are fated together and he to protect her.

Imhotep has decided that the “reincarnated” version of Anuck-su-mun is cool and all but he wants the real thing. He kill’s her and uses the book of the dead to bring Anuck-su-mun back to life and continue on their trip in mummy bliss.

By the time the O’Connell dirigible gets there the group is gone, but Alex has left a clue for them continuing this every leg of the trip.

Lock-Nah hates Alex and can’t wait until they can be rid of him, and in his hatred has been carefully watching him. He’s noticed Alex going off on his own a lot and discovers that he has been leaving secret clues. Imhotep uses his powers to create a massive tidal wave with his face to attack them. Just like in the previous film when he made the sandstorm. After they get hit, Alex thinks his family is dead.

However you can’t kill the O’Connells (maybe Jonathan) but Rick and Evie are too tough to kill. They leave Izzy to try and fix the dirigible while they head to the Scorpion King’s oasis. It won’t be easy though as the pyramid is protects by mummified pgymies. They have to outsmart them and get to the pyramid before they die. I really like this scene as this is one of the few times we see Jonathan acting responsible. Evie and Jonathan provide cover while Rick and Ardeth take off for the lryamjd, she asking Jonathan to make her proud and keep her family safe.

Evelyn: Jonathan?

Jonathan: Yes?

Evelyn: That’s my husband and my son down there. Make me proud.

Jonathan: Today’s that day, Evy.

The cult members are all killed by the pygmies and Hafez loses his hand when he sacrifices it trying to get in the pyramid. After they finish fighting the pygmies, they think everything is done, however Alex reveals that he need to get the key to the pyramid before the sun rises or else he’s toast.

What else?

Rick runs with him and looks hotter than ever, there’s nothing like a hit dad. They barely make it time and are followed by Jonathan and Evelyn. The reunion is not long as Anuck-su-mun comes and stabs Evelyn, killing her.

What, that’s not right. She can’t die. She’s obviously going to wake up.

They can’t fool me

She doesn’t wake up…

Where is everyone?

Noooooooo!

The first time I watched this I was in shock over it as I couldn’t believe she died! What!! What!?!

What else?

Everyone is heartbroken over Evie’s death. Rick could care less about Imhotep’s and the Scorpion King, only wanting to defeat them because of what they did to his wife.

Imhotep is fully focused on his mission, but when he goes to approach the scorpion king he loses all his powers as only a moral can approach him. Anuck-Su-Mun wants Imhotep to give up and just have them live their lives, but he tells her that if he dies to just being him back with the book of life .

Rick has made his way to Imhotep and the two fight, even though Imhotep’s has awakened the Scorpion King.

Basically Rick right now.

Jonathan tries to help grieving Alex, when Alex remembers that they can bring his mom back with the Book of Life. The two plot to steal it from Anuck-Su-Mun, with Jonathan challenging her to a fight in order to “teach her a lesson”. While the two fight, Alex tries to read the spell, but has trouble with one of the symbols. However, Uncle Jonathan is able to tell him the word as it is the same one he struggled with in The Mummy (1999). Alex resurrects his mom just in time as Anuck-su-min is about to kill Jonathan. Don’t mess with Evie:

The Scoroion King has woken up and is played by Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson in his first film role. No one liked the way they made him look and I have to admit even for early CGI it is bad. It turns out that it was a rush job and was only completed eight days before the film’s release. Explains a lot.

Imhotep is a coward and tells the Scorpion King that it was Rick who awoke him and wanted to fight him. Rick tries to battle him, but it is no easy feat. However, he sees a picture on the walls that shows a person with the same tattoo as him defeating the scorpion king with the staff they gave to Izzy, and was stolen back by Jonathan. Rick decides he is a believer in fate after all.

Rick yells at Jonathan to throw the staff, Jonathan does but Imhotep interferes. However Imhotep may be cool and all, but he has got nothing on my man Rick who also intercepts the staff and uses it to kill the Scorpion King and send all his army back to hell.

What a man!

By doing this everything starts to suck back into the pit just like in Jumanji and both Rick and Imhotep are getting trapped in the vortex as well. Rick sees Evie and yells at her to go, but she refuses to listen and pulls him to safety. Imhotep calls out to Anuck-su-min who refuses to help, running away. He falls in the pit and dies, she also being killed by being eaten by scarab beetles.

The O’Connells clan are looking like they are done for, but then Izzy swoops in and saves the day with his dirigible. Jonathan sticky fingers snags a gorgeous pyramid that was on top of the pyramid and covered in precious stones; he and Izzy argue while the O’Connells are happy to be back together.

And that ends The Mummy Returns (2001), one of my favorite movies and one I highly recommend.

For more on The Mummy series, go to The Book of the Dead? Are You Sure You Want to Be Playing Around With This Thing? It’s Just a Book. No Harm Ever Came From… Reading a Book.: The Mummy (1999)

For more mummy movies, go to Welcome to a New World of Gods and Monsters: The Mummy (2017)

For more Rachel Weisz, go to I Was Here For A Moment. And Then I Was Gone: The Lovely Bones (2009)

For more sequels, go to Mysterious Things Have Happened. A Murder in the Village…They Probably Think You, Like Your Father, Have Created Another Monster…: Son of Frankenstein (1939)

The Book of the Dead? Are You Sure You Want to Be Playing Around With This Thing? It’s Just a Book. No Harm Ever Came From… Reading a Book.: The Mummy (1999)

The Book of the Dead? Are you sure you want to be playing around with this thing? It’s just a book. No harm ever came from… reading a book.

I love The Mummy (1932), Boris Karloff is an amazing actor.

And you all know that I don’t like remakes…usually. There are always exceptions, such as this film.

First of all what I think works in this film’s favor is that there is no actual source material. material. The original Mummy was based on the discovery of King Tut‘s tomb and the controversy over “his curse”. It is the only one of the Universal Classic Horror Collection that is not based off of legend, myth, or classical fiction; but was created all on its own. Because of that it is open to a variety of interpretations, allowing the remake to be just as good as the original.

I remember when this movie first came out, I was seven years old and saw trailers on TV and every where. I loved anything with Brendan Fraser (still do).

Look at this man

I didn’t see it in theaters as my mother was afraid it might be too scary for me. I actually first watched the film at SEARS, when my parents were shopping for an appliance. After we both saw scenes from the film, my mom and I had to watch it and rented it from Hollywood Video.

And of course we would also rent the second film when it come out, The Mummy Returns. I also watched The Scorpion King, The Mummy Dragon Empire (not that good), and The Mummy (2017) {extremely terrible}.

I just love this movie. Brendan Fraser at his finest and hottest. Why can’t I find my own one of him?

But enough fangirling, let’s get on to the review!

Anck-su-namun is the mistress/concubine to the Pharaoh and has a love affair with the priest Imhotep (fun fact he was named after an architect of the Stepped Pyramids of Djoser). The pharaoh discovers this and condemns them both to death. Anck-su-namun kills the pharaoh and then herself, in order to save Imhotep.

Imhotep steals her body and tried to bring her back but is stopped befor he could complete the ritual. Instead he is buried alive with scarab beetles. And a curse that he will one day rise again.

Fast forward thousand of years and we have the foreign legion storming through Hamunaptra, the City of the Dead. Something comes (our mummy) that destroys everything with only two survivors. One of which is our very hunky Brendan Fraser as Rick O’Connell. I could just watch him do literally anything for days.

Soooo cute!!!!

Fast forward a few more years to 1923. Tons of treasures have been found by archeologists and everyone is convening in Egypt to dig and make the next big discovery.

At the library, Evelyn “Evie” Carnahan (Rachel Weisz) dreams of being more than just a librarian, she wants to make the next great discovery too! Unfortunately, she often causes trouble as seen when she knocks all the bookshelves over and creates a giant mess of mixed up books. The head of the library is so mad at Evie he wishes for plagues, locusts, flies, etc rather than more of her. Oops, better watch what you say say!

I understand his anger as not only is she lucky she didn’t knock a torch down and burn the whole library (Library of Alexandria Part II), but now they have to go back and reshelve everything.

Speaking of a fire torches, what kind of library would use that when the possibility for it burning everything down is so high.

While Evie is cleaning up her brother Jonathan visits, who is always getting into trouble with some money making scheme and dig. As I said before, Evie wants to become a real “archeologist”, so when her brother shows her his latest acquisition, she is happily surprised to see it is something real! It appears to be a puzzle box with a map to the lost city of Hamunaptra, the City of the Dead. She shows it to her boss who sets it on fire. They save most of it, but are missing a part, all is lost!!! Now why would her boss do that?

However, it turns out that Jonathan did not dig it up but stole it from someone. They go to find the man, and hopefully answers, which leads them to a jail where Rick O’ Connell, is being held. I know she found him in jail, but I don’t care. I would be just as into him as she is, especially after that kiss.

In order to save Rick and find Hamunaptra, they need to free him. Evie tries her best negotiation skills and is finally able to talk the jailer into letting Rick go for 25% of whatever they find.

The next day they meet up and go on their cruise down the river and also discover that they have some competitors. Some Americans who have also hired a man who has been there before.

Hmm…

Unbeknownst to all on the ship a group of Bedouin row to the boat and sneak on.

On the ship Rick and Evie talk and my friend and I would always say this is one is the sexiest scene not meant to be sexy. Brendan Fraser with his sleeves rolled up, gun hostlers, and unrolling his weapon (No innuendo intended). What a fine looking man, no wonder Evie can’t resist him.

Evie can’t stop thinking of the kiss and just has to know why Rick kissed her. She asks him and is expecting something sweet and romantic but all he says is basically, you were there.

He literally could have said anything else and it would have been better.

Seriously!

The Bedouin start causing issues on the ship as they want to stop them from continuing on their trip. I love how Jonathan comes running in and gets the key, knocking the Bedouin guy over. Jonathan is basically Shaggy Rogers with nicer clothes and a British accent.

All our characters make it out okay, with Rick, Evie, and Jonathan ending up on the correct side of the river. They later have to get camels and new clothes, with Evie’s new look causing Rick to give her second, third, fourth, etc glances.

They reach Hamanuptra, but aren’t able to go right away as the sun has to be just right. The two parties race to be the first ones. At one end of the city, the group of Americans are digging in the wrong area, while Evie leads them to the book of Amun-Ra using mirrors.

Rick has completely fallen in love with Evie and steals tools for her to properly dig. Aw what thoughtful gift.

How sweet!

When both find the best place to dig and start in on each other with guns blazing. Before we have a shootout at Hamanuptra, Evie convinces Rick to let it go as there are other places to dig. He immediately listens, what a gentleman.

Evie and her group are trying to get under Anubis and Rick listens to her talk and is interested in everything she says. This is the type of man I need. One who likes listening to me talk about books, history, and art.

Soooo cute!!!!

Their jailer partner has scored some beautiful beetles, lapis lazuli, but they turn out to wake up and attack him.

That night they both groups are attacked by the Bedouin and join forces to try and stay safe. Rick finds it odd that they would be after them as they don’t value riches the same way. Hmm? Evie and Rick stay up practice fighting in case another situation comes up.

Evie and Rick have such a cute scene together as she has been drinking and is really open about what she is feeling. I also like how when she tries to kiss him and passes out he just leaves her alone, such a gentlemen.

In this scene we also learn that Evie and Jonathan are biracial, and as a biracial kid growing up with not a lot of biracial characters on the screen, that’s just another reason why I loved this film.

The “Americans” have found a sealed chest tha has a curse laid upon it. They don’t care about curses and open it anyway. They also find the book of the dead and the organ bottles (although these were just ceremonial as they buried the mummy alive.) The Book of the Dead brings people to life, while the Book of Life sends them to their death.

That’s not good.

Back over at our party’s camp they find Imhotep and all are surprise to discover he hasn’t been decomposing as he is still, as Rick puts it, “juicy”.

That evening all are resting when Evie decides to steal The Book of the Dead and take a look at it, after all it was their spot they were digging in that the other group stole. Rick isn’t so sure, but as a librarian Evie assured him “no harm ever comes from reading a book”. But just as she says that a big giant spooky gust of wind blows-if I was me I would have stopped right there as I have seen enough movies and read enough books to know, something bad is going to happen.

She should not have done that.

She also reads it out loud which I never would have done but in done it in my head keeping the curse from being enacted, but unfortunately she was kind of trying to impress Rick and instead leashed a horror into their world.

He attacks them all and of course the one with the glasses dad is the first to be attacked. The mummy Imhotep takes his eyes which is really odd as he has the worst of the lot (being the only one who wears glasses) like I would have taken a different organ. I bet he has nice inner organs that would be a better choice. And again, man the person with glasses is the one who further loses his sight. Poor guy.

Scarab beetles come shooting out and our team finds themselves running in fear for their lives. Evie ends up activating a secret passageway and finding our eyeless American and mummy.

Imhotep calls her Anck-su-namun and decides to use her body to resurrect his lost love.

Rick and Konathan are trying to find her when a bunch of scary beetles attack. They run and luckily Rick finds Evie and the mummy, shooting him with a shotgun.

On their way out they are run into the Bedouins who warn them of the evil they released. They encourage them to leave as they will try to hunt him down, although Rick is certain he killed him. Unfortunately, no mortal weapons will work on him.

Back in the fort Rick wants to Evie and him to leave, but she wants to save the world. Rick gives Evie an ultimatum, but she chooses the world over him. Meanwhile, the other solider who survived and was leading the Americans, Benny” has been employed by Imhotep, and seeks out those who opened the chest to continue the stealing of the organs.

And while that is happening, Imhotep has also released the curse of the mummy awakening, it being the 10 plagues of Egypt. The water turning to blood, hail, fire form the sky, etc. it’s an interesting choice as the plagues of Egypt are so powerful and easy to visualize; along with the fact that Universal made The Ten Commandments and has it in their repertoire. As a lore choice though, this is odd as God choose the plagues specifically to show his power over the Egyptian gods and every plague is specific to counter one of their gods. So it seems odd that something that was used to refute the Egyptian gods is being used by a priest who worships those gods.

The mummy attacks Evie and all seems it might be lost as nothing works, however a cat comes and scares him away. See cats are always good to have around.

Evie needs answers and goes to see her old boss who turns out to be a member of the secret society who is dedicated to keeping Imhotep from ever awaking. He tells them that until Imhotep has consumed all the people who opens the chest he will fear cats and they can be used to stop him.

The professor also reveals that Imhotep needs a human sacrifice in order to bring his lady love back to life. They decide they need to find the Americans as Imhotep is hunting them down; along with to protecting them and Evie. Rick leaves the Americans he has already found and Evie together, while he searches for the remaining one, the Professor. Meanwhile the glasses guy is dead. Rick finds the professor too late as well.

The rest of the American group isn’t long for this world as they make terrible decisions. Imhotep goes after Evie by turning himself into sand and trying to seduce her, but Rick saves the day by bringing in a cat. See cats are super important, everyone should have one just in case.

The remaining players regroup as they have a new idea. Find the Book of Life and send Imhotep away. They head to the Museum of Antiquities to discover where the book of life could be hidden, but as they are searching for answers, Imhotep approaches with a zombie army.

Zombies from Night of the Living Dead

While the zombies converge on them, Jonathan leaves the others to the researching while he tries to get their getaway car ready, pretending to be a zombie. Jonathan is like a live action Scooby-Doo character.

They try to get away but the zombie army is too much. They are out of options and Evie goes off with Imhotep after he promises to let her friends go. But of course he reneges on his promise, seriously Evie that never works. Good thing Rick is there as he spots the sewer and uses it as an escape route. Jonathan worries about his sister, but Rick promises he will get her back. Of course, that’s his lady love.

How sweet!

The remaining group finds Rick’s old friend and pilot Winston who has hated retired life, wishing he died in the glory of war like his contemporaries. They recruit him and head to Hamunaptra to try and save Evie.

Imhotep spots the plane and creates a giant sandstorm with his face in it. This scene is awesome and the first one I ever saw, making me desperate to watch the film. In order to save her group, Evie takes one for the team and kisses Imhotep to distract him.

All I can think is, he probably has really bad breath .

Winston dies, getting exactly what he wanted: going out in a blaze of glory. The rest of our adventurers get to the city and start digging for the book of life to stop him. Of course Imhotep can’t have that and they have to try and battle scarab beetles, Imhotep’s mummified priests, and more. These last scenes are fantastic as the action is great and the CGI/animatronics are still really really good.

They find the book and it’s up to Jonathan, who only had a mild interest in his Egyptian roots to save them as he needs to speak the words. While he’s trying to remember everything, Imhotep has begun the ritual to bring his love back. Rick tried to help Evie and distract Imhotep, using an awesome sword he discovered that can hurt mummies.

Jonathan tried to stop the mummy and accidentally awakens more mummies, and if that wasn’t enough drama, Anuk-Su-Mun attacks Evie. There is a lot happening and the only one who can fix everything is not that reliable Jonathan.

Being biracial myself I really have always love this movie for showing biracial characters and I really like this scene with Jonathan struggling with speaking Egyptian. I can easily relate as my Spanish is okay, but when I’m stressed or in a new situation my mind will go blank.

From Clueless

Thanks to Evie’s help he is able to figure out the last word and ends the ritual.

Imhotep tries to kill Jonathan, but Rick saves him with his sword. Imhotep focuses on Rick so much he doesn’t even feel the lift that Jonathan does, making him able to steal the key, open the book to the page needed, and take away Imhotep’s immortality with Rick ending him.

Benni I has found the treasure room and been loading up all the camels to take them with him, but unfortunately due to his greed he takes more than he should engages the self destruct button of the pyramid. Our trio runs away, and are even nice enough to try and save the traitorous coward, but it is no use. Everything collapses and closes.

Our group get on the camels and discover they have all kinds of riches, but Rick and Evie don’t care as they found something more important, each other.

How sweet!

And that ends The Mummy, one fantastic movie I highly recommend.

For more on The Mummy (1999), go to Heaven on Earth: 13 of the Best Fictional Libraries

For more mummy movies, go to Welcome to a New World of Gods and Monsters: The Mummy (2017)

For more Rachel Weisz, go to I Was Here For A Moment. And Then I Was Gone: The Lovely Bones (2009)

For more remakes, go to I’m Not Special, I’m a Monster!: Firestarter (2022)

Welcome to a New World of Gods and Monsters: The Mummy (2017)

Welcome to a new world of gods and monsters.

So I love The Mummy (1932)

And The Mummy (1999)

But this one was horrible!

Ugh.

The plot made no sense at all!!!

Help me! I’m confused!

There was no cool Egyptian stuff or history or action at all. It didn’t even take place in Egypt but in England!

And they threw in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and didn’t explain why:

This is pretty much how I felt through the whole film:

It was just horrible from beginning to end, didn’t explain, and I didn’t care about any of the characters. I’d rather watch him:

Or him:

Or her:

Or her:

Any day.

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to What Do They Want You For? Murder: Silver Streak (1976)

For more mummy films, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

For more Tom Cruise, go to Pot o’ Gold: 17 Irish Heroes

For The Mummy (1932), go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens This Casket: The Mummy (1932)

For more Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, go to Man-Bat: On Leather Wings, Batman the Animated Series (1992)

For more sucky films, go to Have You Seen Megan Hipwell?: The Girl On the Train (2016)

For more sucky remakes, go to Dracula. Not Myth, Nor Ravings of a Mad Irish Novelist, Oh No, He’s Real: Dracula 2000 (2000)

How To Survive A Horror Film

With Halloween approaching and the number of Horror films increasing, I thought it would be a good time to write a post on how to survive a horror film, just in case you happen upon this situation 😉 . Most of us have heard of the “Randy Rules” in Scream (1996), but in this we are going to look a bit more in depth in how to successfully survive a horror film.

1) Do Not Try Out Witchcraft, Ouija Boards, or any of the Occult for “Fun.” You Will Be Messing with Forces You Have No Control Over

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

It is never good to mess with the occult, play around with witchcraft, or use the ouija board. When you do such things you are opening a door to a lot of stuff you don’t want to mess with. Often you open yourself or others to demon possession or evil spirits. It is best to just stay far away from such things.

2) Do Not Make Deals With the Devil, Demons, or Other Supernatural Beings

Never, ever make a deal with the devil. It is like trying to mess with the occult or witchcraft, you are opening yourself up to serious trouble, and the devil will not like to loose his quarry. Besides, the deals/wishes you make never turn out exactly as you hope.

3) Anything and Everything Can be a Weapon

When a Stranger Calls (2006) 

One of the things that bothers me the most is when people are surrounded by potential weapons and don’t use them. I mean look at Scream (1996), when Tatum is in the garage and attacked by Ghostface, she tries to squeeze herself through a tiny hole to escape rather then use something, anything in the garage. I mean she is in a GARAGE!!! There are hundreds of potential weapons! USE THEM!!! That is one example, but seriously, use anything and everything.

4) Don’t Stop Assaulting Your Attacker Until You are Sure They Are Not Going to Get Up

Scream (1996)

Now this is huge. In horror movies, if the person is able to outwit the killer and knock them out, they usually just leave it at that and take off. DON’T! You knock that sucker out until you are sure they are no longer going to try to injure you. Break their legs if necessary. Because if you don’t, they are just going to recover and come after you.

5) If Someone Gives You a Protective Charm Do Not Give It Away

The Mummy (1932)

I have mentioned this in Dracula (1931), The Mummy (1932), The Wolf Man (1941), Scream 2 (1997), and many more. If someone gives you some kind of charm that is supposed to help you and only work for you, DO NOT GIVE IT AWAY!!!! It will only work FOR YOU!!!! That is why it was given TO YOU!! And if you give it away you are just going to get yourself and the person you were trying to help in serious trouble. Keep it and protect yourself so that you can actually help others, instead of accidentally killing them.

6) Sex = Death

As Randy says in Scream, Sex = Death. Never overlook the purity angle, it is like a protective charm. If you don’t do it, you are less likely to die.

7) Doctors are Almost Always Evil

Frankenstein (1931)

Sometimes Doctors can be good people, but if you are in a horror film, forget it; they are usually evil. Such as Dr. Hartz from The Lady Vanishes (1938), he seems kindly and trying to help, but in reality just wants the main character to think they are going crazy! Same thing in Dr. Hollingshead from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (1947). Then you have doctors who commit horrible things in the name of science; like We have Dr. Frankenstein (from any Frankenstein film) who tries to create life and can’t control his monster. Or  there is Dr. Arthur Carrington from The Thing From Another World (1951), who almost kills everyone as he doesn’t care about human life but scientific discovery is what matters. Not to mention Dr. Alfred Brandon from I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957), who experiments on teenage boy. And lets not forget Dr. Hannibal Lecter, who eats people. I could go on, but there are too many examples to choose from.

8) Do Not Spend the Night in an Abandoned or Haunted House, Psychiatric Hospital, or Carnival

House on Haunted Hill (1959)

I mean seriously. Just do not go there. Nothing good will ever, ever, ever come of it! I mean look at The Uninvited (1944), House on Haunted Hill (1959), House on Haunted Hill (1999), The Hunting (1963), The Haunting (1999), etc. I could go on and on, but let’s continue with our list.

9) If There is a Curse on Something Do Not Touch It

The Mummy (1932)

I know curses, many laugh at them; but of you are in a horror film and you see something that says it is cursed DON’T TOUCH IT! It is better to live another day then to have yourself face all kinds of horrors.

10) Do Not Drink Any Potions or Test An Experiment On Yourself

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (1931)

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER test a potion or try an experiment on yourself. It always ends badly! I mean you have Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, The Fly, Batman’s Man-Bat he had to fight, even Goosebumps did an episode where the dad ended up creating a plant clone of himself. I know many don’t like animal testing or get under the stress of trying to accomplish something; but just stop! Don’t test yourself or else something bad will be created.

11) If There is a Murderer Running Around, Do Not Go Out and Party

The Bat (1959)

This drives me crazy! A murderer is running around killing people and people decide to: 1) not take any precautions; 2) go about their lives like nothing is different; and 3) party. If there is a murderer running around, yes it is good to be in a group (rule 12 & 17) but you shouldn’t be out partying, drinking (rule 13) or putting yourself in a dangerous situation.

12) Never Split Up

NEVER, EVER, EVER go anywhere by yourself. There is power in numbers! As a group you could take a killer down, versus as a couple or single. When you split up, all you do us make it easier for someone to kill you.

13) Do Not Do Drugs or Drink

Metropolis (1927)

While some of you might enjoy that type of thing it is never a good idea in a horror film. Anytime you try something that will keep you from thinking clearly, you are in serious trouble as you are likely to make bad decisions that will lead to your death. It is better to just say no.

14) Always Call the Police

When a Stranger Calls (2006)

If you are being attacked, threatened, harassed, etc.; call the police. Don’t try and take care of it yourself, don’t try to investigate, call FOR BACKUP! That’s their job!!! They have guns and can make an arrest!

15) Never Say “I’ll Be Right Back”

The Terminator (1984)

Unlike the Terminator here, you won’t be back. Uttering these words is signing a death warrant, as soon as they leave your lips you become next on the killer/creature’s hit list.

16) Never Say “Who’s There?”

Never say “who’s there”. If the person was a friend, they wouldn’t be skulking around your house in the first place, trying to scare you. Instead they would knock, ring the doorbell, or call out to you. The only type of person who would be creeping in your house is one who intends on harming you. And if you call out “who’s there”, you’re just helping them find and kill you faster.

17) Do Not Go Out to Investigate a Strange Noise

Tuesday the 17th: Psych (2009)

When you hear something strange outside, do not go out and look into it. You should wait for assistance or call in the police. If you try looking yourself, you are going to end up in a trap set by a monster, psychopath, murderer, etc. Besides, why unlock the door or turn off the alarm; allowing whatever is watching you the opportunity to come in and attack? Just stay inside snug like a bug.

18) Do Not Use the Bathroom

Psycho (1960)

Have you ever though of how vulnerable you are in the bathroom? Most have no windows to flee from or they aren’t the most accessible. Some do, but for most the only easy way out is the door, which is where most attackers will come through. Plus the reason you would be in the bathroom; shower or toilet, you won’t have any weapons to help you and it would be extremely easy to kill you. If you are in a horror film, just hold it or stay stinky. You are more likely to live that way.

19) Never Go Off By Yourself

Mystery of the 13th Guest (1943)

Like I said before, the less people around you, the easier you are to kill. If you go off on your own to investigate, look around, run away; you are just putting a giant target on your back. Stay together, it is safer.

20) Always Look Behind You and Above You

IT’S BEHIND!!!!! from The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

Always take a 360 degree look around you. They may be behind, they may be in front, they may even be above you. Search every angle!!!

21) Be Nice, A Person Scorned or Mistreated Can Do Horror-ble Things

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

In horror movies, there are lots of people who have been bullied so much and hurt by others they end up becoming homicidal maniacs. And who do they tend to attack first? The last person to hurt them. Look at The Phantom of the Opera (any version), Carrie (1976), Hangman’s Curse (2003), Heathers (1985), etc. So if you don’t want to end up being first on the hit list be kind to those you meet.

22) If You Are a Girl Or Not White, Be Extra Cautious

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Psychopaths and monsters love to kill/eat women and minorities. Because of this if you are either, or both; take extra steps to protect yourself. Be like Ben in Night of the Living Dead.

23) Don’t Trust Anyone, They Are All Suspects

Dangerous Crossing (1953)

People can tell you all kinds of things, but that doesn’t mean they are telling the truth. If you find yourself in a horror film, don’t trust anyone. And I mean ANYONE!

24) Never Judge a Book By its Cover

Psycho (1960)

Never judge a book by its cover. Someone who seems sweet, innocent, impossible to commit cruel acts, etc; could secretly have evil intentions lurking under the adorable facade. Always be watchful and once again, trust NO ONE!

25) Children can Be Evil too, Never Rule Them Out

Children of the Corn (1984)

When trying to figure out who the murderer is, never overlook kids. I mean sure some will be obvious in their creepiness, such as the one pictured above, but there are many who look innocent and sweet but are actually evil. Don’t be fooled!

26) Never Try to Create Life

Frankenstein (1931)

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER try to create Life. It just does not go the way you plan. You can’t control the beasts you create and they just run amuck everywhere. I mean look at Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, Alien: Resurrection, the list goes on but I’ll stop here.

27) Never Try to Control a Monster

Jurassic Park (1993)

In any horror film, whenever they create  life they always think they have complete control over it. Well, that never works out. You see, just because you made it doesn’t mean it will listen to you; every parent knows that. And more often than not, those creations will try and kill you.

28) If Someone Tries to Make a Deal with You to Kill Someone, Do Not Think it is a Joke

Joking around with the idea of murder might be something you would do with a friend, but be careful, you never know how far they might take it.

29) Listen to Urban Myths, They Tend to be Right

Friday the 13th (1980)

We all like to hear scary stories around a campfire and about areas. But if you are in a horror film, play very close attention as more often than not, the myths and legends turn out to be true or someone is copying them and making them true. It is always good to pay attention and know the details, it just might save your life.

30) Never Think You Have Destroyed a Monster, They Always Find a Way to Come Back

Jaws (1975)

You try to kill them and you think you do, but they always come back. Always make sure you keep an eye out for the sequel and their return.

31) Don’t Be an Idiot

Be smart! Don’t be stupid and do stupid things. Use your common sense! Bimbos and Mimbos are almost always the first to die.

So there we are, 31 tips to help you survive a horror film. I hope they help you survive October.

This post is brought to you by a

To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

Keep tuned for more horror film reviews!

A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

What should we call him? How about ‘Mummy’?

So last June I I did the 30 Day Challenge: Disney Edition. Everyday I posted something on my favorite Disney character, prince, princess, song, villain, etc. (If you want to read more, go here.)

One of my posts I talked about the different DCOMs, Disney Channel Original Movies, that I loved watching growing up. I decided that a few I would wait to talk about until October, making them a part of Horrorfest III.

By the time October rolled around, I had already planned out Horrorfest III and there was so many movies I wanted to do, that I just couldn’t fit this one in. I decided to do it the next year.

And then this year I had all planned out and instead of doing this film, I really wanted to do The Mummy (1999). However, life got in the way and I was very far behind in my postings. I decided The Mummy (1999) was just going to have to wait until next year. And as I wanted a mummy film, Under Wraps would be the perfect substitute.

 So it is a silly film that takes a lot from the film The Mummy (1932) but gives it a comedic twist.

There are three twelve year old kids-Gilbert, Marshall, and Amy. One of their neighbors died and like the kids in Stand By Me they want to check it out.

I know it makes no sense to me either.

Anyways, there they discover a sarcophagus and a mummy in the dead guy’s house.

That same night it is the right time in thousands of years in which the moon is aligned perfectly…

And brings the mummy back to life.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At first the kids are freaked out, but then discover that he is friendly and name him Harold. They have all kinds of fun with him, all over the town. A Mummy in modern times.

They eventually find out that they have to put him back in his sarcophagus by midnight on Halloween or else he will die.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

The kids want to put him back but they can’t. You see it turns out that neighbor wasn’t really dead, but just faking it so he could skimp out on taxes.

It turns out that the neighbor, Mr. Kubat, is a real villian, complete with the evil henchmen. He sends them out to look for the mummy in order to sell him.

Besides Kubat, they also have to worry about Harold’s fiancé, as he wants to bring her to life as well.

A cute film that is definitely worth the view.

Check it out for yourself!

To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to They’re Here Already! You’re Next!: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)

For more on mummies, go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens This Casket: The Mummy (1932)

For more DCOMs, go to When Horror Doesn’t Stay on the Screen: Phantom of the Megaplex (2000)

For more Disney, go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?: Boy Meets World (1994)

For more horror-comedies, go to I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to Be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)