Welcome to a New World of Gods and Monsters: The Mummy (2017)

Welcome to a new world of gods and monsters.

So I love The Mummy (1932)

And The Mummy (1999)

But this one was horrible!

Ugh.

The plot made no sense at all!!!

Help me! I’m confused!

There was no cool Egyptian stuff or history or action at all. It didn’t even take place in Egypt but in England!

And they threw in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and didn’t explain why:

This is pretty much how I felt through the whole film:

It was just horrible from beginning to end, didn’t explain, and I didn’t care about any of the characters. I’d rather watch him:

Or him:

Or her:

Or her:

Any day.

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to What Do They Want You For? Murder: Silver Streak (1976)

For more mummy films, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

For more Tom Cruise, go to Pot o’ Gold: 17 Irish Heroes

For The Mummy (1932), go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens This Casket: The Mummy (1932)

For more Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, go to Man-Bat: On Leather Wings, Batman the Animated Series (1992)

For more sucky films, go to Have You Seen Megan Hipwell?: The Girl On the Train (2016)

For more sucky remakes, go to Dracula. Not Myth, Nor Ravings of a Mad Irish Novelist, Oh No, He’s Real: Dracula 2000 (2000)

The Wearing of the Green: 17 More Irish Heroes

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So Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! You all know what Saint Patrick’s mean on this blog, another 17 Irish heroes.

Once again it was difficult trying to find 17, but I started last November and finally completed it. Here we go!

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17) Patrick from The Accidental Husband

New York Fireman Patrick (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is about to marry the girl of his dreams; that is until her mind is changed by a relationship radio host, Emma Lloyd (Uma Thurman). Patrick becomes so enraged after his fiancé leaves him that he decides to get revenge on Emma. Emma is also about to get married, making a big tadoo about the event. Patrick has his friend hack into the courthouse files and make it so that Emma is already married, and married to Patrick. When Emma finds out, she goes to Patrick to try to get an annulment. Patrick, in Overboard style, starts off trying to antagonize Emma, but ends up falling for her. But will he be able to figure out a way to win Emma away from her fiancé? And what will happen when Emma discovers the truth about their “marriage”?

Why Patrick is Awesome:

If you can move past the fact that this actor plays Dean and Sam Winchester’s incredibly absent father and his whole revenge plot; he’s a pretty cool guy. He is kind, charming, sweet to older ladies, supportive, and encouraging. The scene with the cake tasting is just adorable. I could see why a girl would fall for him.

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16) Kevin O’Reilly from Star Trek: The Original Series

In Star Trek the mission of the Starship Enterprise is to go boldly where no man has gone before, to explore strange new worlds, and to seek out new life and new civilizations. The crew has many adventures as they meet all kinds of races and encounter all types of creatures.

Why Kevin O’Reilly is awesome:

Kevin O’Reilly is not a well known Star Trek character, mostly because he was only in a few episodes in the series. O’Reilly worked as a navigator and was later put in engineering. He was a silly kind of guy, fun and the comic relief.

For more Star Trek, go to A Fashion Statement

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15) F. Scott Fitzgerald from Midnight in Paris (2011)

Gil is a wealthy, Hollywood, screenwriter who suffers from severe nostalgia. He wishes he could be a novelist, but even more so one in the 1920s, like his heroes F. Scott Fitzgerald or Ernest Hemingway. He and his girlfriend are visiting Paris and one night he is out walking around after midnight when he is approached by a 1920s Peugeot Type 176 car. The people are dressed in 1920s clothing and Gil goes with them. He finds himself traveling back in time and meeting some of his favorite artists; such as Salvador Dali, F.Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Pablo Picasso, Zelda Fitzgerald, Cole Porter, Josephine Baker, and Gertrude Stein.

Why F. Scott Fitzgerald is awesome:

I love F. Scott Fitzgerald’s work, The Great Gatsby being one of my favorite novels. The reason why I choose this representation of Fitzgerald was that I thought Tom Hiddleston captured the sweet personality, dreamer, people pleaser, and all of his insecurities he had. I thought he also did a great job showing his two loves: writing and Zelda; and how the two did not always meld well, sometimes being toxic for the other.

For more F. Scott Fitzgerald, go to Old Fandoms and New Fancies

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14) Stacey McGill from The Baby-Sitters Club

The Baby-Sitters Club books, films, and TV series followed a group of 8th and 6th graders who own their own baby-sitting business. Besides baby-sitting they do normal teenage things, solve crimes, fight racism, and more. It was a series from my childhood that I just loved reading.

Why Stacey is awesome:

Stacey McGill moves from New York to Connecticut because of her dad’s transfer. She is cool, sophisticated, and mature; yet not snobbish or rude. She is also kind, compassionate, and helpful. She does have a few faults; like being boy-crazy and letting other plans slide for the guys in her life. However, she is always there when you really need her. She leaves the BSC for a bit, tempted by what she thinks are “cooler” people, but eventually realizes her mistakes and works on being accepted back into the group. I always liked Stacey’s books as she had interesting stories; such as old friends growing apart, divorce, dealing with her diabetes, letting go of a need to control, etc. Plus her outfits were always interesting.

For more on Stacey McGill, go to Back to the Fandoms

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13) Betty O’Shale from Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas

This prequel tells the story of how Fred, Barney, Wilma, and Betty all met. Wilma Slaghoople has had enough of her rich lifestyle. She escapes to Bedrock and meets Betty, who mistakes her as a caveless woman in need, and decides to open her home to her. Meanwhile, Barney and Fred have started work at the rock quarry and are both hoping to meet the women of their dreams. They meet Betty and Wilma at the burger joint, and soon are spending all their time with each other. But when Wilma’s past comes out, Fred starts feeling insecure. And when they travel to Vegas they get into all kinds of shenanigans: gambling, rock stars, showgirls, wrestling, etc.

Why Betty is Awesome:

Betty is incredibly kind and sweet. She is willing to open her home to a stranger and help out all she can. Besides her kindness to Wilma, she also helps out at food shelters and helps feed the homeless. Betty is the best friend you could ever have; wonderful to all she meets.

For more Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas, go to This Isn’t Love, This is Ecstasy: Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas (2000)

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12) P.J. McNeal from Call Northside 777

This film-noir film is based on a true story. Eleven years earlier, a cop was killed when visiting a speakeasy. Two men were tried and convicted for the murder. In modern day, an ad by a Polish washerwoman giving $5000 for information of who the real killer was bring Reporter P.J. McNeal on the story. At first McNeal is extremely skeptical, but as he talks to the inmate and researches the case he starts to believe him and try to find a way to free him.

Why P.J. is awesome:

P.J. is first of all played by Jimmy Stewart, so he is gorgeous. But the most important traits are that he is intelligent, dogged, compassionate, and kind. He may be skeptical, but when he decides to back something he truly gives it his all; doing everything he can to help this man. Even at times risking his own career and good name to search out the truth.

For more Jimmy Stewart, go to Hark the Herald Angels Sing

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11) Brian O’Conner from The Fast and the Furious Franchise

Oh, Paul Walker. You were gone too soon. I’ve always had a crush on Paul Walker, but the film that really cemented it was his portrayl in The Fast and the Furious.

Brian O’Conner is an FBI agent sent undercover to investigate whether a group of car racers is stealing from trucks. It takes a while, but he infiltrates the group; befriending the racers.

He ends up getting too close and losing his objectivity and job. In the sequel he is a racer only now, but is asked by the FBI to come on a case. Afterwards, he is brought back to the FBI, but leaves it for his friends.

Why Brian O’Conner is awesome:

Brian is nice, intelligent, and attractive. However, his best trait is that he is the most loyal man you will ever meet. Brian cares about his friends and will do anything to help them, even sacrificing his job and reputation.

For more on Brian O’Connergo to The Fans and the Furious

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What happened to you?

What happened to you?

10) Mary Yellen from Jamaica  Inn

Mary’s mother has just passed away so she travels to Jamaica Inn to stay with her cousin Patience. While there she discovers that the Inn is thought to be haunted and full of unsavory characters. To makes things even worse, her cousin is married to an abusive and lecherous man, Joss. As she is trying to settle in, she discovers that her uncle is actual part of a ring of pirates, taking out the lighthouse and salvaging from the ships. She saves one from being hanged and finds herself on an adventure she never dreamed of.

Why Mary is awesome:

Mary is incredibly kind, brave, bold, and assertive. She will not stand for the way Joss treats her or her cousin Patience, standing up to him in every way. When she sees that Jem Trehearne is about to be hanged, she saves his life even though it may cost her own.

For more Jamaica Inn, go to That Place…There’s Queer Things Goes On There: Jamaica Inn (1939)

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9) Danny McCoy from Las Vegas

Las Vegas is a TV show about a group of people running the fictional Montecito Hotel & Casino Resort in Las Vegas. They deal with the usual issues: staff problems, card counters, performers, chefs, etc; along with helping each other in personal problems. The one thing that made the show lovable, although completely unrealistic, is that all the people enjoyed helping others and would go the extra mile. Because it is Las Vegas, we also get amazing cameos: Wayne Newton, Jean-Claude Van Damm, Sylvester Stallone, etc.

Why Danny is awesome:

Isn’t this man dreamy? Anyways, Danny was simply amazing and the type of guy you want. He was born and raised in Las Vegas, but left to join the Marines. He returns and works for Ed in security. Danny is sweet, adorable, protective, loving, etc. Most of all Danny has a huge heart and is always willing to help others out, something that makes him almost fall for a scheme, like two women trying to take his father’s inheritance. But even though he is sweet, you don’t want to mess with him as he can just as easily take you out.

For more on Danny McCoy, go to A Fantabulous Post

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8) Tom Hagen from The Godfather (1972) & The Godfather: Part II (1974)

In The Godfather, Vito Corleone is the father of five children: Santino, Alfredo, Connie, and Michael; along with adopted Irish son Tom Hagen. While everyone is involved in the family business, Michael wants no part. That is, until the Godfather is injured, soon everyone is doing all they can to protect the family.

In Part II, we are split between Vito’s story of his immigration and the next steps Michael takes of being the Godfather. It’s not easy as he is trying to expand into Cuba, go legitimate, and protect the family.

Why Tom Hagen is awesome:

While Sonny is the brash and tough one, Fredo the incompetent, Connie the high strung, and Michael cool-headed and clever; Tom is the reliable one. He’s the best businessman out of the family; always thinking, calculating, and planning what can be best for the family.

Tom cares strongly for his family, doing anything he can for his parents, brothers, and children. Out of everyone in the whole family he is the only one who achieved exactly what his parents wished he would, staying focused on the goals of being a lawyer and aiding his family.

For more on Tom Hagen, go to What a Fanatic!

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7) Jack Callaghan from While You Were Sleeping

Lucy works at a toll booth, but dreams of something more. She also dreams of the guy who passes through her booth every day, Peter Callaghan. One day he gets roughed up and thrown before an upcoming train. Lucy saves him and through a mistake, she is also believed to be his fiancé. As Peter is in a coma, the Callaghan family welcomes Lucy into the fold. But as Lucy spends more time with the Callaghans, she starts to fall for the other brother; Jack. What will Lucy do when Peter wakes up?

Why Jack is awesome:

Jack is a great older brother who always wants to believe the best in his younger brother. He is also kind, charming, sweet, encouraging, and a dream date. Not only does he care for Lucy, but he also listens to her thought, hopes, and dreams; doing all he can to make them come true.

For more on Jack Callaghan, go to A Tender Toll-Booth Token: While You Were Sleeping (1995)

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6) Dr. Henry “Hank” McCoy AKA Beast from X-Men

Dr. Henry “Hank” McCoy is extremely eloquent, brilliant, and well-educated. He has degrees in science, biochemistry, genetics, mathematics, along with being well versed in art and literature. His powers are agility and beastlike strength. He was part of the original X-Men; alongside Angel, Iceman, and Marvel Girl  and Cyclops. He looked human before, but later after an accident he turns blue and looks more werewolf/bestial.

Why Hank is awesome:

Hank is the perfect gentleman and everything you’d want in a guy. He sweet, romantic, intelligent, educated, strong, and adorable. I’m not sure what more I can say about his many merits.

For more X-Men go to, Pot o’ Gold: 17 Irish Heroes

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5) Marshall Mike Meagher from “Wichita’s New Year’s Day Gunfight” from Draw: The Greatest Gunfights of the American West by James Reasoner

This book is a collection of the West’s most famous and greatest gunfights. Covers everyone from the Earps to Bat Masterson, to the Younger Brothers and Pinkertons, etc.

This particular passage tells of Marshall Meagher’s cleaning up of Wichita and the famous gunfight against Sylvester Powell.

Why Marshall Mike Meagher is awesome:

Marshall Mike Meagher was elected to clean up the town of Wichita which was horribly wild and out of control. In fact he did such a great job and destroyed the bad reputation, that the city officials ousted him out as they felt he was doing too good a job. However, their interference didn’t last long, as the people wanted him back.

Now Marshall Meagher was an amazing gunslinger, a crackshot, intelligent, brave, and just incredible.

So the most famous gunfight was the New Year’s Day gunfight. One night when he was making rounds he came upon Sylvester Powell, horse-thief. Marshall Meagher confronted him, and arrested him. However, Powell was freed by the company and then went out to look for the Marshall for revenge. While Marshall Meagher was in the outhouse, Powell shot it up, but only managed to hit him in the leg. Marshall Meagher burst out and was then hit in the hand, but even though that happened he still was kicking, shooting after Powell. Powell took off down the street, out running the Sheriff who already suffered from a limp and now had a wounded leg.

Powell had slowed down and was casually walking when all of a sudden he heard his name being called. He turned around and there was Marshall Meagher; who then shot him right in the heart.

Boom! What an amazing guy; limping, shot twice; and still gets his quarry. What a hardcore hero.

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4) Franklin “Foggy” Nelson from Daredevil

Daredevil is the comic book that follows a blind boy turned superhero, Matt Murdock aka the Daredevil. He lives in Hell’s Kitchen, New York; and works hard as a lawyer by day with his friend and partner in the practice, Franklin “Foggy” Nelson.

Why Foggy is awesome:

Now I’m a big fan of the older Daredevil comics, but the Foggy in those was a bit…annoying. It wasn’t that he was rude, whiny, or mean; he was just always pitying Matt all the time. It got old quick. He also was a rich kid and not a vert good lawyer, using Matt’s talent to help his own insufficiency.

However, in Netflix’s revamping I like the improvements on the Foggy character. In this Foggy is a great lawyer, not as good as Matt; but intelligent and able to hold his own. He also is not some silly rich kid, but the son of a butcher doing all he can to achieve his dreams. I think this makes his character stronger and more equal to Matt. He also is less pitying in this than the orginal comics. While he feels bad for Matt’s lack of sight, he is also the one person that doesn’t treat Matt as if he’s handicapped, but as a regular person.

For more on Foggy Nelson, go to Old Fandoms and New Fancies

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3) Calvin O’Keefe from A Wrinkle in Time Series and The O’Keefe Family Series.

So I’m not quite sure how to describe these two series but I will do my best.

So A Wrinkle in Time Series involves Calvin O’Keefe, Meg Murray, and her younger brother Charles Wallace involved in a huge adventure to stop an evil force from destroying planets. They are taken through space, time, and dimensions. In the sequel Meg and Calvin travel into Charles’ body in order to save him from destroyers trying to erase his existence.

In the O’Keefe series; Calvin is all grown up and married to Meg with children. In the first book he is working on an experiment when his intern Adam arrives, unsure whether he should trust Dr. O’Keefe or turn him in to a spy orginaization. In the second book, the O’Keefe family save a young boy from a horrible plot and attempted murder whilst on a ship in the ocean.

Why Calvin is awesome:

Calvin was raised in a very large Irish family with a father who is abusive and a mother who doesn’t care as she is dissatisfied with her life. Calvin has grown up never feeling loved or cared for; except a few teachers and the school librarian who has encouraged his love of learning.

He meets Meg, Charles, and the family; finding a place of belonging. Like Calvin, those two also have trouble finding their place with normal people as their intellect or attitude cause major roadblocks.

Besides being intelligent, Calvin is also caring and compassionate. When Meg and Charles become his friend, his loyalty and care with protecting them knows very little bounds. And when Meg has problems controlling her temper; Calvin is able to help her realign her feelings and help her express kindness toward others.

 And in spite of all the odds, Calvin not only achieves immense scientific and financial success; but he is an amazing father and wonderful husband.

For more on Calvin O’Keefe, go to A FANtastic Voyage

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2) Leonard “Bones” McCoy from Star Trek

In Star Trek the mission of the Starship Enterprise is to go boldly where no man has gone before, to explore strange new worlds, and to seek out new life and new civilizations. The crew has many adventures as they meet all kinds of races and encounter all types of creatures.

Why Bones is awesome:

So I love Karl Urban as Bones, but I felt that it was only right to go with the original. Bones is a medical doctor, appointed to the USS Enterprise under Captain Kirk.  He was divorced before he joined the ship, and later remarried.

The best thing about Bones is his wit and sarcastic nature. I love all his sayings, I mean every word that drops from his mouth is just so sassy and fun. He is so hilarious and part of the dream team that made Star Trek a hit.

He cares deeply for Captain Kirk, seeing him as a brother. This causes a strained relationship with Spock as Bones doesn’t like to see him trying to horn in on his buddy. However, the two at times overcome those issues and have moments of friendliness.

For more on Star Trek, go to Rock You Like a Hurricane

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1) Rick O’Connell from The Mummy (1999) The Mummy Returns (2001)

Thousands of years ago a priest was sentenced to the worst death for betraying his Pharaoh. He vowed he would rise again. Now in 1920s Egypt, librarian Evie and her brother have found a map that leads to the hidden city rumored to have the best treasure imaginable. It turns out that Evie’s brother stole them, making the two have to recruit the original owner, ex-foreign legion soldier, and American; Rick O’Connell. It turns out that they aren’t the only ones after it, and when they arrive in the city they awaken their worst nightmare, the mummy.

In the sequel it is about eight years later, Evie and Rick are married and have a son. When their son looks into something he shouldn’t and helps awake the scorpion king; the O’Connell’s once again have to travel to Egypt, this time racing against time and a reawakened mummy.

Why Rick O’Connel is awesome:

First of all, Rick is played by Brendan Fraser and I don’t care what anyone else says; he is super hot! Yes I love Brenden Fraser and everything he has ever been in.

So back to Rick, not only was Rick completely hardcore in his intelligence, strength, and crackshot abilities; but he is just one awesome warrior. He does start off a little rude, as his complete loss of his group of soldiers has made him unhappy and not want to be a part of life. But being with Evie has reawakened his compassion and made him want to not only help but protect her. He is an amazing adventurer and hero.

In the sequel we see Rick as a father, and he is a truly dreamy one. Not only the perfect husband, wiling to do anything to help and protect his wife; but will go to any lengths to protect and aid his son. We also once again see his warrior prowess as he battles the scorpion king and the mummy.

For more on Rick O’Connell, go to Year of the Anniversaries

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So that ends my list for this year. You all know what I’ll be doing with the rest of my day. Eating some soda bread made by my sister blog, MysteriousEats.wordpress.com. And my yearly tradition, watching the Disney Channel Original Movie: The Luck of the Irish.

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For the 2013 Saint Patrick’s Day post, go to Pot o’ Gold: 17 Irish Heroes 

For the 2014 Saint Patrick’s Day post, go to At the End of the Rainbow: 17 More Irish Heroes

For the 2015 Saint Patrick’s Day post, go to Lookin’ Over a Four-Leaf Clover: 17 More Irish Heroes

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A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

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What should we call him? How about ‘Mummy’?

So last June I I did the 30 Day Challenge: Disney Edition. Everyday I posted something on my favorite Disney character, prince, princess, song, villain, etc. (If you want to read more, go here.)

One of my posts I talked about the different DCOMs, Disney Channel Original Movies, that I loved watching growing up. I decided that a few I would wait to talk about until October, making them a part of Horrorfest III.

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By the time October rolled around, I had already planned out Horrorfest III and there was so many movies I wanted to do, that I just couldn’t fit this one in. I decided to do it the next year.

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And then this year I had all planned out and instead of doing this film, I really wanted to do The Mummy (1999). However, life got in the way and I was very far behind in my postings. I decided The Mummy (1999) was just going to have to wait until next year. And as I wanted a mummy film, Under Wraps would be the perfect substitute.

Under Wraps

 So it is a silly film that takes a lot from the film The Mummy (1932) but gives it a comedic twist.

Look familiar?

There are three twelve year old kids-Gilbert, Marshall, and Amy. One of their neighbors died and like the kids in Stand By Me they want to check it out.

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I know it makes no sense to me either.

Anyways, there they discover a sarcophagus and a mummy in the dead guy’s house.

He's getting emaciated

That same night it is the right time in thousands of years in which the moon is aligned perfectly…

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And brings the mummy back to life.

Look familiar?

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At first the kids are freaked out, but then discover that he is friendly and name him Harold. They have all kinds of fun with him, all over the town. A Mummy in modern times.

They eventually find out that they have to put him back in his sarcophagus by midnight on Halloween or else he will die.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

The kids want to put him back but they can’t. You see it turns out that neighbor wasn’t really dead, but just faking it so he could skimp out on taxes.

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It turns out that the neighbor, Mr. Kubat, is a real villian, complete with the evil henchmen. He sends them out to look for the mummy in order to sell him.

Besides Kubat, they also have to worry about Harold’s fiancé, as he wants to bring her to life as well.

Boris Karloff and Zita Johann in 'The Mummy'

A cute film that is definitely worth the view.

Check it out for yourself!

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to They’re Here Already! You’re Next!: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)halloween banner

For more on mummies, go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens This Casket: The Mummy (1932)

For more DCOMs, go to When Horror Doesn’t Stay on the Screen: Phantom of the Megaplex (2000)

For more Disney, go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?: Boy Meets World (1994)

For more horror-comedies, go to I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to Be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend: Alien Vs. Predator (2004)

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The enemy of my enemy… is my friend

So some of you might be wondering, why am I reviewing Alien Vs. Predator before reviewing Alien (1979), Predator (1987), Aliens (1989), Predator 2 (1990), Alien3 (1992), or Alien: Resurrection (1997).

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Well there are two reasons why: 1) I just saw it last week so it is fresh in my mind; and 2) This was the first movie I saw in either franchise. Although I kind of knew what Alien was about as I had seen Spaceballs.

So Alien Vs. Predator, was an idea that began in back in the ’80s after the films came out. It was then shown in comics, video games, etc. Eventually a script was written, but no studio wanted to make it, so it sat on the back burner for ten years.

It eventually was accepted and is the higest grossing film in either franchise to date. It is absolutely riddled with references to both films, so if you are a fan you will enjoy.

So let’s get started!

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So it is the year 2004, a Predator ship is nearing the Earth, and some scientists detect a mysterious heat bloom beneath the ice on the island Bouvetoya, near Antartica.

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What is it with aliens/monstrous creatures and Antarctica? We have Aliens Vs. Predator, The Thing from Another World, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, etc. I guess some like the cold, although The Blob didn’t. Sorry, moving on.

Billionaire Charles Bishop Weyland (those who are Alien fans should recognize why I bolded that), decides he wants to claim it for himself. He sends out his top man to recruit the best from all over the world.

Alexa “Lex” Woods is the best field guide for Antarctica. They offer her a large sum to come to a meeeting and hear Weyland’s proposal.

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Sebastian de Rosa, is a struggling archeologist in Mexico. He is just about out of money, and the bank won’t supply anymore; when just like in Jurassic Park Weyland’s man comes with an amazing offer.

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I love this man. He is smart, sexy, Italian, and oh…there’s only one word to describe how I feel. Swoonworthy!

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Anyways, these two and a collection of paleontologists, linguistic experts, drillers, and mercenaries all gather together. Weyland shows the prospective team the discovery, a pyramid that is a blend of three different cultures. He proposes that they all go try and discover what this phenomenon is.

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: Where exactly on the ice is this?

Charles Bishop Weyland: Bouvetøya Island. But it’s not on the ice. It’s 2,000 feet below it.

All will be rewarded handsomely.

AWESOME!!!

AWESOME!!!

Lex is the only one that disagrees, stating that they aren’t ready to make the journey in, they need more time to train the crew. Weyland refuses, saying they need to go now before anyone else moves in.

Lex says she won’t be a part and goes to leave. Weyland agrees to let her go, saying they will go with their number 2 guy.

Good-bye

Good-bye

When Lex hears who it is, she refuses to go. While she doesn’t want to stay and help a group she thinks is doomed for failure, she’d rather go and help them survive.

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So the team moves out. While they are getting there, the Predator ship has entered the Earth’s orbit. They make a shaft from the surface to the pyramid below.

From the film Stargate.

From the film Stargate.

When the team reach the island they discover that on the surface is an old whaling station. A hundred years ago, in 1904, the whole crew disappeared. It is still an unsolved mystery.

shiver

When the team gets ready to drill a cavity to reach the pyramid. The discover one has already been dug for them.

What?

What?

And when the drillers start examining it, they discover that the area was cut with no tools that exist on Earth.

weird

They decide to head down to the pyramid anyways, with a few near mishaps along the way.

When they get inside the pyramid, they start examining the walls and the rooms. They discover that this civilization must be older than anything they have ever known in history. And one of the rooms, appears to be some mind of sacrificial chamber.

shiver

Noooooooooo!!!!! Don’t go in!

However as this is a film and the characters can’t hear me, they of course go in and start looking around. There they find remains with a large hole on the left side of their chest.

Adele Rousseau: What happened here?

Thomas: It’s common in ritual sacrifice to take the heart of the victim.

Adele Rousseau: That’s nice. But that’s not where your heart is. [pauseBesides it looks like the bones were bent straight out. [Thomas stares at RousseauSomething broke out of this body.

Now this bothered me the first time I saw it, and it bothers me still. THE ALIENS SHOULD NOT BE COMING OUT OF THE CHEST!!!! THEY SHOUD BE COMING OUT OF THE STOMACH!!!!

MeanGirls I know right!

They screwed up one of the best scenes. It is way creepier seeing this:

Anyways, back to the film.

So unbeknownst to them, on the surface, the three predators have takes out the rest of the team. Below them, their presence has begun the preparations for “the game” and awakened the Queen Alien Queen. It is a creepy scene. I couldn’t find a video, but trust me, it is super creepy!

shiver

So back in the sacrificial room, Sebastian has discovered what appears to be a sarcophagus with a calendar lock, set for October 10, 1904.

mummy

He studies it and notices that ten, and multiples of it, seem to be significant to this culture, whatever this culture is. He then moves the date to October 10, 2004; the current date.

Stop stop it now!

Don’t you know better than to touch/mess with things. Like in The Mummy (1999), you never know what might happen.

Some things should just be left alone. But no, these are scientists and they never know when to back off, setting off the spring lock and revealing guns.

Whattheheck

What is an ancient civilization doing with such advanced weapons we don’t even have today? How did they get them? Where did they get them? It just doesn’t make sense.

[the team finds the Predators’ shoulder cannons]

Graeme Miller: Any idea what these are?

Sebastian de Rosa: No, you?

Graeme Miller: No.

Maxwell Stafford: It’s a good thing we brought the experts.

Graeme Miller: Well, yeah, it is a good thing, cos’ this is like finding Moses’ DVD collection.

And then as Lex convinces them it is time to move topside and regroup, they stupidly take the guns, beginning the “game.” Now part of the game is that every so often the pryamid shifts, making one difficult playing ground for either team.

If that was me? I’d start shooting everywhere, killing as much as possible.

For reals, they would all be dead.

For reals, they would all be dead.

So the teams are separated and all are trying to find an exit, but soon they will realize that will be near impossible.

you-cant-escape-forever-trailer-title

As Lex’s party makes their way to the exit, they are attacked by the Predators, of which have to switch gears when the aliens start showing themselves.

Yeah two Predators end up getting killed. Too bad they didn’t have their guns.

Soon everyone is being killed or taken to be impregnated by the aliens until they are properly formed. This actually reminds me a lot of the tarantula wasp, who lays its eggs in the spider. When the eggs hatch they eat the spider, then creating a cocoon in the spider body, coming out when it is fully matured. After all that’s what happens here, except no eating. The alien baby goes into the human, emerging only when fully pupated.

ew! Gross Yuck

The only ones left are Weyland (who is slowing them down as he is on his deathbed with his bad heart), Lex, and sexy Sebastian. Lex wants to lighten Weyland’s load, discarding the gun he took from the sacrificial chamber. When he refuses, wanting something from the death and destruction, she switches the heavy weapon to her pack instead. They are then interrupted by Sebastian, who has figured out that the pyramid also goes off the decimal system, and that every ten minutes the pyramid shifts.

AVPSebastian_De_Rosa

Weyland asks to be left behind, to buy them some time from the predator hunting them. Lex and Sebastian don’t like it, but agree and head off to another area trying to escape. Weyland is killed when he attacks the remaining Predator, but Sebastian and Lex make it out. Oh, this scene always stresses me out.

So luckily, they ended up in the room full of the hieroglyphics that tell us the backstory of why these extraterrestrials have come to our planet.

Yes, the whole thing was a trap. They made that heat signal to attract somebody, as this was the only way to begin the hunt as they need the humans for hosts.

After hearing the story, Lex figures out what they must do to survive, is to give the weapon back to the Predator.

Sebastian de Rosa: When that door opens, we’re dead.

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: Not if we set things right.

Sebastian de Rosa: What do you mean?

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: This pyramid, it’s like a prison. We took the guards’ guns, and now the prisoners are running free. To restore order, the guards need their guns.

Sebastian de Rosa: During a big game hunt, the animals being hunted don’t arm the hunters!

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: They’re not hunting us. We’re in the middle of a war. It’s time to pick a side.

Sebastian de Rosa: We are on our side!

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: We have to consider the possibility that we might not make it out of here.

Sebastian de Rosa: The enemy of my enemy… is my friend.

Alexa ‘Lex’ Woods: [pyramid starts to reconfigure] Let’s go find our friend.

So after the pyramid opens, the two go looking for a Predator, but run into an alien. They run away, but reach a collapsed bridge. Taking an Indiana Jones  leap of faith, they jump across the chasm. Sebastian lands rights, while Lex on loose stones and starts falling.

Spoke too soon

Sebastian helps pull her up, until he is taken by an alien.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

WHY!!! WHY!!! WHY SEBASTIAN?????????

Why

He was an awesome character. He was intelligent, funny, kind, has common sense, and hot. Poor Sebastian. RIP handsome.

AVPSebastian_De_Rosasmilehappy

Back to the review.  So Lex is running away, and runs right into the Predator. He is about to kill her, when she stops him and gives him back the weapon. Before the Predator can do anything else, and alien attacks them.

Having proven her worth, Lex and the Predator head out to finish up.

Alien-vs-Predator_Sana

The two head back to the sacrificial chamber, which we should really call the birthing room. There Lex finds all her team members, including Sebastian, all of which have been impregnated.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

NOT SEBASTIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the Predator scans the room, and sees that the eggs are all going to try and hatch. He activates his bomb, to destroy everything. Then he and Lex run to the lift, planning to get out of there and to the surface, as quickly as possible. They are followed by the Queen, but make it up the surface. The whole pyramid goes Kablooey!

Jaws Backstage Universal tour

But it turns out that the Queen wasn’t destroyed in the blast! She comes topside and knocks the Predator out, chasing after Lex to destroy her too.

You know for a huge environmentalist, Lex just threw a whole bunch of trash into the ocean. She could seriously damage the ecosystem. And I don’t know if that was the best idea as we don’t if the aliens are unable to survive underwater. Maybe they can. I couldn’t find any info on that. Anyways…

So after all the fighting is completed, the Predator ship returns to pick up its champions. They take their fallen warrior inside and are about to kill Lex, when the see the sign the Predator carved into her face. She is a warrior, equal to them.

They leave and in the ship, the crew get a surprise.

Now this was a part I didn’t like either. All the other people when impregnated, had the alien jump out rather quickly. I mean Sebastian got his after the Predator was supposedly infected, and his came out way before. And I looked it up, so don’t say it is because they were in a different species, its supposed to happen for everyone two hours after impregnation. This was just a cheap twist in order to ensure a sequel. And I hate it when filmmakers do that.

I don't like it 11

But on the whole I loved this movie. The story was a great homage to both films, with its own flavor and not giving the vibe of being a remake. The characters were great, and pretty intelligent, making only one big mistake (removing the weapons). The main character, Lex, was a strong character like Ripley: powerful, and in control; but a realistic way, being scared and frightened but using that fear to fight. Great movie.

As for the sequel? We’ll just have to save that for another post.

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2004alien_vs_predator

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?: The Twilight Zone (1961)

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For more aliens, go to It’s Mrs. Archer. She’s On a Rampage!: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

For more expeditions gone wrong, go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens This Casket: The Mummy (1932)

 

The Story, We’re Living it. It’s Alive: The Brothers Grimm (2005)

Brothers_grimm_movie_poster

The story, it’s happening to us now. We’re living it. It’s-it’s alive, it’s real, it’s breathing.

So remember way back in April, when I talked about how much I love the Brothers Grimm and all their stories?

brothers grimm fairy tales

Well for those of you who don’t, I loved them. I used to read the stories over and over and over again.

readingabkkid impression identity a part of us You've got mail meg ryan

They are such a huge, huge part of my childhood. I not only read them, but I read like every version of their tales. Such as Shannon Hale’s The Goose Girl; The Princess Test by Gail Carson Levine; or The Rumplestilskin Problem by Vivian Vande Velde. And that’s just naming a few, I’ve read practically every version and retelling out there.

LifeasaFangirl

So when I saw a trailer for The Brothers Grimm I was so EXCITED! I’m not quite sure what I was expecting, I don’t even remember what the trailer was like. I just know if it had the Brothers Grimm’s name on it. I WAS THERE!!!!!!!!

excited

My mom, sister, and went to see it and I thought…..

Whattheheck

 

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING? THE BROTHERS GRIMM WHAT? THIS THING IS SO CREEPY I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! SCARRED!!!

Needless to say I didn’t like it.

I don't like it 11

I didn’t understands half the things that were happening! I didn’t like most of the characters. And I thought it was one of the creepiest things I had ever seen. And I was like thirteen at the the time and saw many different films, but this one creeped me out. After a while, I kind of forgot about it, other than I liked Heath Ledger (he’s always awesome) and that I actually liked Matt Damon in this.

What the

I know, I know. If you have been following you should be shocked at that statement as I have said quite a few times how much I dislike Matt Damon. I just think he is a horrible actor as he is the same in everything!! However, he was so different in this film that I actually forgot it was him. And that is what a good actor does, they melt away so all you see is their character on the screen.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

Anyways, so time past and I completely forgot about this movie. That is until I saw it on Amazon Prime Instant Watch.

It's Paul!

Amazon’s all watch this!

And I thought, hey, ten years have past. Maybe it’s time to give it another view.

The plot thickens

Why not?

And as I remember it being a horrorish/comedy film (what I call Com-Ror), I can totally review it for horrorfest. So here we go. I present to you:

Brothers_grimm_movie_poster

So this film is actually a melting pot. It is a historical fiction, horror, comedy, and fantasy concoction.

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

And they actually work pretty well together.

So the film opens up with the poor Grimm family. The young sister is sick and they are all shivering from the cold as they have no more wood for a fire. Wilhelm, the oldest, is trying to be the man of the house and helping his mother while Jacob has gone out to sell the family cow. Instead of bringing back money, he has “magic beans”.

Spoke too soon

Poor, sweet, naive little Jacob. He was tricked into getting magic beans. The mom is sad, but Wilhelm becomes incensed and beats his brother.

escalatedquickly

I know we are barely into the film and already we have a dead father, soon-to-be dead sister, a boy tricked out of everything, and then one brother getting beat by the other. That’s a really dark opening scene for a family picture.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

And by now you can kind of see the direction this film is taking. It is going to be the story pieces occurred in real life and lead to the collection of tales we have today. I have to say I was actually down with that. It could be pretty cool. The sort of prequel to Once Upon a Time or something.

indiana_jonesoh_yesyeah

We then have the title and a killer opening scene. SUPER DRAMATIC! And I loved it! Dark night, rain, two strangers on horses with a note demanding entrance!

shiver

It was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, it turns out that Wilhelm (Matt Damon), or Will as he is more often called, and Jacob (Heath Ledger), or Jake are ghost hunters/witch killers/ monster destroyers. Basically the 19th century version of Dean and Sam Winchester.

Supernatural

Say What

When I first saw this I was like what are you doing? I’m pretty sure that there were nothing like that. After watching I had to read up on them.

It turns out in real life that Jacob was actually the older brother. Their father did die when they were young and they had to take care of the family, eventually going to school for law. But later during the Romantic period, they began collecting folk tales, creating the classic literature we have today.

keanu Whoa

How did they go from that to:

FBIMonster-Movie-supernatural-2654708-1280-720

Yeah…

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

This was one of the reasons I wasn’t really into this “modern”, twisted type of film, in fact a lot weren’t. This film was actually ahead of its time as if it had come out a few years ago (instead of 10) it would have fit right in with Red Riding Hood (2011), Snow White and the Hunstman (2012), The Raven (2012), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), and Hansel & Gretal: Witchhunters (2013)I mean look at that poster! Isn’t this something you would see today?

Brothers_grimm_movie_poster

Eliminating Evil Since 1812 this is something you would definitely see today.

Anyways, back to the review. So the brothers are in Karlstadt to get rid of a witch menacing a mill. This is actually a pretty awesome scene as they fight the witch. I wish I could find a video. Oh well. This is kind of what it looked like:

black cauldron

So this witch comes at them and attacks. They try and destroy her, but she starts to control them and they start to fight with each other.

Spoke too soon

They fight, but Will manages to overcome it and kill the ghost. They get paid and all is well until we discover that the whole thing is fake. They hire two guys to play the monsters of the folk tales around the area, and then the Grimms come in and save the day by ridding the area of them.

Oh jeez.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

You are taking folk historians and making them not only hunters but conmen.

IDon'tevenknowhowtorespondGilmoreGirls

Besides that, movie, I see what you’re doing.

do-you-think-im-stupid-do-you-not-see-the-glasses

This is going to be one of those films where they show a fake thing in the beginning that is going to be the direction the film goes to in the end. You know like in An American Werewolf in London, where he growls at himself in a mirror, only to later do the same things as a werewolf.

Gotcha!

Oh well.

I guess we will just have to wait to see how it turns out.

So while in reality Jacob and Will were the best of friends, in this Will is extremely cruel.

Jerk

When he goes to give Jacob his half of the money, his has to throw in one last dig.

Will: Your half professor, or would you like it in beans?

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

Come on Will, he was just a little boy!!!. He was trying to help!!!! Let it go!

LetGoofthePast

So while they are celebrating and having fun, we cut to the village Marbaden. A girl in a little red cape is looking through the forest. Now the forest is amazing! It is exquisitely beautiful and terrifying. It looks just like something out of an illustration in a book or a painting. The film was worth it for those moments alone.

-Jim-Carrey-beautiful-gif-UYfb

Anyways, the little girl becomes fightened and tries to outrun whatever it is, but doesn’t manage to and is taken.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

So as the the guys are celebrating their sucess, Jacob starts to feel down. He was a scholar and is unhappy as to what he is doing now.

All I could think was why isn’t he a scholar anymore? Did he lose his job? Was it because of the French? Time for a history lesson!

historyteach

So in 1837 the two lost their posts at the university of Göttingen as they went against King Ernest Augustus I who dissolved parliament and demanded oaths of allegiance from all employees. But this film takes place earlier than that…In the early 19th century, Napoleon was seizing control of the world and had gained Western Germany. It is logical that Jacob, being rather outspoken and prone to not always thinking before he speaks, refused to do something similar to what happened at Göttingen, and lost his position.

Jacob Grimm BrothersGrimm

Moving on…

Anyways, Will has gone on to be with some bar maids, while Jacob is scribbling in his book when a man charges in. It is the famous Italian torturer, Mercurio Cavaldi. He takes them to see French General Delatombe who is strangely played by the same actor who plays Elizabeth Swann’s dad in Pirates of the Caribbean.

brothersGrimm

They have discovered that the Grimms are conmen, having captured their other workers, and tortured them And this movie spares nothing, showing the men upside down and covered in snails.

Whattheheck

Yes, snails. I mean I hate snails and that would be torture to me, but is having snails on you really painful? Let’s look it up! And I found nothing so I’m unsure why they would do that.

Anyways, Delatombe demands to know where the 10 missing girls are. Jacob and Will have no clue what is going on.

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

Apparently someone has stolen 10 girls from the village of Marbaden. The French General doesn’t like that the German people are not listening and reverting back to their cultural ways. He sends the Grimms and their team to solve the mystery, or be killed. The Grimms heartily go.

Meanwhile, two siblings have decided to go looking for the missing girls, Hans and Greta (Hansel and Gretal). The forest steals Greta’s scarf away from her, using it to eventually lure her away and capture her.

WizardofOzAppleTreesDorothySmacked

Hans races home to find his father.

Back in the villlage the town has gathered and are telling the Grimm brothers everything that has happened. Who has disappered and how they have disappered.

brothersgrimm

As they are talking, Hans rushes in and relates what has happened. The Grimms are eager to get started and ask for a guide. They recommend the “cursed one”.

shiver

They go see the “cursed one”, who turns out to be Angelika. Her father was a great woodsman, but died last year in the winter snow, although a body was never recovered. Her two sisters were the first to be taken, hence making her “cursed”.

Reality Sucks

Angelika doesn’t want to help, but the torturous Calvadi convinces her, by almost killing her with a knife. And then he starts hitting on her in the nastiest way. He’s just ew!

ew! Gross Yuck

Yeah…

Certified Creepo Ribbon

So with all parties in accord they journey into the forbidden forest.

Now I just want to stop and say that I really like that while the film is predominately English (of course) there is quite a lot of dialogue spoken in French and German. I like when movies do that. Good going guys.

Take note Hollywood

Take note Hollywood

Back to the forest. Will is totally in his role saying how he “feels” things and can “sense” things.

And Jacob is all, whatever Will.

Karen stop talking

But he loves the forest as it seems as if all those stories he’s studied over the years are finally coming alive. In fact he believes that this particular story they are in is about King Childeric I’s beautiful Queen. She was the fairest of all, and cared only about herself. When the black plague came, she built a tower high above the forest and the dying people. Unfortunately she still caught it, but tried to use black magic to overcome it and live forever. The spell worked, but instead of remaining beautiful, she aged.

It was this bad.

It has been over 500 years and Jacob believes that not only is she in the tower, but she is behind it all.

Will on the other hand thinks that is the stupidest thing he has ever heard

stupidestThingeverheard

and that someone else is trying to con the villagers.

They find the tower in the woods, of which Angelika tells them that it was destroyed, but mysteriously grew back.

the-brothers-grimm-the-tower

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Some of the first creepy things we see are all these ugly black bugs coming out of stuff. It’s like The Mummy beetles or something. Then the trees keep moving all around. If that was me I’d want to get out of there asap.

Run Away

So far we have had beetles, creepy trees, and now birds. Creepy birds right out of a Hitchcock scene.

birds Brothers Grimm

Gilmore girls creep

They want to leave and are trying to go, but can’t find the way as the trees have moved around.

WizardofOzAppleTreesDorothySmacked

While everyone is distracted, a wolf transforms into a person, the woodsman.

I guess a backwards wolfman?

I guess a backwards wolfman?

And feeds one of the horses spiders. And guess which horse it is? Jacob’s.

mary_bennetCan't get a break

He leaves and the Grimm team regroups eager to leave the forest. Angelika grabs a toad and talks to it, licking its belly so it will point the way.

ew! Gross Yuck

DISGUSTING!!!!

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

At this point I was looking at Anjelika and thought, she looks really familiar. Where have I seen her before….?

suspicious Hmm

So I looked her up and it was LENA HEADEY. Man that woman, I CAN NEVER RECOGNIZE HER. She looks different in like every movie she is in. From The Jungle Book, to The Brothers Grimm, to 300, to Dredd, to Game of Thrones; man I never would have realized her characters were played by the same person unless you lined them up next to each other. And probably not even then. You’re good Lena, real good.

indiana_jonesoh_yesyeah

So they make it back to the village. The Grimms are working as Cinderella’s in girls clothes, by orders of Calavadi.

Whattheheck

I told you he was one real sicko.

Meanwhile, a little girl hears a voice calling her. She gets up to see where it is coming from and it turns out to be one of the horses making noises. She goes over to calm it down. ALONE!

Every time!

Now this part always bothered me. We see how SUPER protective the father was of his daughter, and she knew that pretty much every girl has been captured and taken away, why would you do this alone? I would have woken up my father and been like I hear something come with me.

Now this part is truly disgusting with the horse. All these spiders come and make a web that grabs the girl, and the horse swallows her. The third most horrifying scene in this film.

There is always a but

It is so disgusting and horrible, but also very well done. The Grimm brothers and friends follow them and her and the forest is truly horrifying.

When the tree kills the man, just ouch.

Calvaldi believes that the Grimm brothers killed his men with the help of Angelika, and they all head back to see the General. Now this is the second most horrifying scene when they torture them, trying to get them to confess. They kill a kitten! A KITTEN! Why would they kill a cute orange kitten in this?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

They convince the General they will stop it and head back to the village.

Now in this moment I realized how much I absolutely love Jacob Grimm.

Jacob-Grimm-heath-ledger-11279684-2560-1440

Jacob is a total fanboy!

FANGIRLJackSparrowPiratesoftheCaribbean

He loves folk and fairy tales, and has studied them for so long.

LiteraryAdventures

And now he is actually in the story!! He gets to be the hero of his favorite thing to read!!! How awesome is that!!! That is like every fan’s dream. I know it was mine. There were so many places I always wanted to visit and so many tales I wanted to be the hero of. I AM JACOB.

Anyways so Jacob is really excited, but Will isn’t. In fact Will wants to take off and leave this all behind.

WishlifelikebookbrothersGrimm

And what’s wrong with that? Doesn’t everyone?

fandomvsReallife

Anyways, so Jacob tries to convince Angelika to help him out.

Will Grimm: Ignore him. He wishes his whole life was something out of a book. And now he thinks he’s in love.

Jacob Grimm: Shut up, Will!

Will Grimm: Angelika, do what your father wanted: leave the village now.

Angelika: No, Will. I’m gonna find my sisters.

Jacob Grimm: Will doesn’t care about them. Will doesn’t care about anything but himself!

Will Grimm: This isn’t a fairy tale. They are not coming back!

Jacob Grimm: This is not your world, Will! [to Angelika] Angelika, you know, don’t you? The story, it’s happening to us now. We’re living it. It’s-it’s alive, it’s real, it’s breathing. And we can give it a happy ending.

Angelika: Jake…

Jacob Grimm: Angelika, we’ll find your sisters. All right? We’ll bring them back.

Will Grimm: [getting angry] Bring back her sisters? [kicks Jacob] Bring them back? Bring them back with what? Magic beans?

Jacob Grimm: Why do you say that?

Will Grimm: Magic beans don’t work! They don’t bring people back to life! They did not then and they will not now! You go wait by the horses! Jacob, wait by the horses!

Will is such a jerk, I totally want to punch him in the face!

Pride&PrejudiceDarcypunch

Will talks to Angelika, but Jacob will not be deterred and he runs off to the forest to try and save the girls.

Jacob Grimm BrothersGrimm

But Will chases after him.

When Jacob punched Will in the face finally I was so happy. Yeah!!!!

Finally something GOOD!

Finally!

So now the brothers are back to being a team, but while they are doing that, back in the village comes the most horrifying scene ever. This is not for the weak of heart. I swear, this scene scarred me FOR LIFE! FOR LIFE!!!!

HorrorfilmCan'tlookaway

So Sasha is going to get water from the well, when a bird falls in and…I can’t do the scene justice, you’re just going to have to watch it yourself.

OMG

That ball of goo coming to life

ew! Gross Yuck

Her face, eyes, and mouth melting away

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Then this black blob has her face and mouth and starts following her

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it goes inside and grabs her and eats her!

Tuesdaythe17th scream ah

And turns into a cookie and runs away!!!

Scream-Casey-Becker-drew-barrymore-31896958-2560-1088

I am SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! It gave me nightmares, it made it impossible for me to eat gingerbread for a few years. And I wasn’t a little little kid when I saw this either. I was 13. This scene, it just

shiver

I have to move on now.

So the Grimms are in the forest. Will has helped get Jacob on top of the very high tower,

Don't fall.

Don’t fall.

On the roof Jacob notices the coffins they saw before are numbered 12, like a clock.

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

Down below Will spots something strange in the water. It’s Sasha in a dress. He goes over to look at her, when the wolf comes.

wolfman

He changes into a person and we see his face, seeing that it is Angelika’s dad!!! He goes over to Sasha and places her into a coffin. On her feet form glass slippers, and he takes one drop of blood, giving it to a raven to give to the queen upstairs.

In the mirror she looks beautiful and young, but in reality she is an old skeleton.

Phantomoftheopera1925unmasked

She starts to charm Jacob, while below Will has to deal with her woodsman.

The whole breaking the mirror destroys the power of the witch reminds me of The Picture of Dorian Gray. The only way to kill Dorian was to destroy his picture, the only way to kill this witch, break the mirror.

BrothersGrimmBrokenmirrorQueen

They run back to the village with Sasha, Will being the one to kiss the frog to find out the way. When they get there, Sasha is prounounced dead as she isn’t breathing, even though Will saw her walk to the coffin. While they are trying to figure things out who should show up but the French General and a mass of troops.

They declare that the Grimms are really behind it all, having killed their two workers who “confessed” it all.

They decide they are going to burn down the forest and the Grimm brothers. As they are tied up and ready to start the pyre, they toss in Jacob’s book, his collection of tales. All I could think was

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

NOT THE BOOOOOOOOOOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anjelika has been able to free herself and she goes and saves the boys from being burnt to a crisp. Jacob tries to save his book, but Will drags him off as his life is more important.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

NOT THE BOOKS!!!!

you're evil

Now the Queen doesn’t appreciate anyone trying to destroy her home and sends out some magic that not only stops the flames, but takes out a few guys as well.

When the get into the forrest they run into the wolfman/huntsman who reveals to Angelika that he is her father. He was dying in the forest when the Queen found him and saved him. He is in love with her and would do anything for her. Even sacrificing his own children.

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Not only did he take his two youngest girls first, but he snags Angelika to replace Sasha and complete the circle of 12.

How rude

I know he’s under a magic spell, but his OWN DAUGHTERS!!!

Will is totally unsure of what to do, while Jacob is in his element and has become even more attractive. Not only is set out on saving Angelika, but he also takes out the murderous General.

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It must be nice for Jacob to be the hero for once, instead of Will.

I noticed something about the French, German, and Italians. Everyone who is not German is a crazy psychopath. We have the murderous, vain, evil Queen; the gloutton, tortourous, evil General; Calvadi the pervert and master of torture; and then the general’s right hand man just as crazy and creepy. I think it was on purpose, trying to show the way that the Germans thought of the invaders, how stereotyped and evil they are. It works for the film.

New plan

Jacob climbs up the tower to kill the queen, but the knife he picks up is enchanted and he ends up stuck to the wall. I know that he had no other weapon on hand, but come on! She’s an evil sorceress, anything in the room that belongs to her, chances are she can control them!!!

Will ends up following Jacob and when he gets there the Queen enchants the knives so that they have a duel to the death. (Just like I said they would)

I think that is a pretty jerk move to slip from the knife so you brother can kill you. I understand why you do it as it is the only way to free one of you and have him save the day, but it still is pretty mean.

As Jacob is trying to figure out what to do next, the Queen decides that dear old dad, is too old, and turns her attentions toward Will becoming her love slave. As she is turning Will, Jacob finally remembers the mirror and destroys it, killing the Queen.

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So Jacob is the hero!

      Jacob’s Hero List

  • Save the Girls ✓
  • Defeat the Evil Queen ✓
  • Save the Day ✓

Now if only he had a plan on how to get out of a crumbling castle.

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He makes it out okay, but it looks like he celebrated prematurely. The girls are still dead, or really frozen in eternal sleep.

Spoke too soon

Spoke too soon

Jacob is lost in what to do, but Calavadi, who has now become a “Grimm-y”, tells him that in his home country there is a story of true love’s kiss waking the girl. Jacob goes to kiss Angelika, but Calvadi warns him that if the love is not true than Angelika will die!

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

Jacob goes for the kiss and…

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The spell is broken. All the girls come out and are alive and well.

Double double yay

Jacob goes over to Will, but he’s not moving…

Spoke too soon

Spoke too soon

Jacob is heartbroken, but Calavadi reminds him that a kiss could wake him too. As Jacob goes, Will interupts him. Yep it turns out that Will the stinker is alive and fine. Angelika kisses him to “wake him up”; and then everyone returns to town. There the village throws a big party, happy to have everyone back.

Will Grimm: I’ve been thinking of an alternative career path.

Jacob Grimm: Will.

Will Grimm: One that uses all of our new expertise.

Jacob Grimm: Will.

Will Grimm: Now, I haven’t really sorted it yet…

Jacob Grimm: Will, Will, Will, listen. This is the real world. We’re-we’re men without a country, we’re enemies of the state, and worst of all we haven’t a single bean to our name.

Will Grimm: It’s a good name, though, isn’t it?

Jacob Grimm: It’s a damn good name. Let’s dance. Come on!

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So how did I like it ten years later? I liked it. It made much more sense now that I was older and more used to this kind of film style. The CGI was pretty good for a 2000’s film, and the backgrounds were just beautiful. The story was so-so, but cute and funny, except for the three deranged parts. I don’t think this would be a movie I would purchase to add to my collection, but I definitely will re-watch it in the future.

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To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to It’s Mrs. Archer. She’s on a Rampage!: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

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For more Brothers Grimm, go to If the Shoe Fits: Why Cinderella is Actually Awesome

For more fairy tales, go to The Fans and the Furious

For more Horror-Comedies, go to I am the Chosen One. And I Choose to Be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more on Heath Ledger, go to You’re Just Too Good to Be True: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

For more on Matt Damon, go to A Horse’s Tale: Chinese New Year

Year of the Anniversaries

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So you might have noticed that 2015, like every year, marks the anniversaries of certain things I adore. For instance I talked about the 30th Anniversary of The Breakfast Club.

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For more on that, read Don’t You Forget About Me.

The 200th anniversary of Emma

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The 90th anniversary of The Phantom of the Opera

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Go to Fantom of the Opera

And that this year also marked the 40th anniversary of everyone’s favorite shark:

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For more on that go to, You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Screen: Happy 40th to JAWS

And let’s not forget one of my most favorite movies ever! Yes folks, Back to the Future also celebrated 30 years of awesomeness.

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Go to Back in Time: Happy 30th Anniversary Back to the Future

But this year also marks the third anniversary of yours truly, JaneAustenRunsMyLife.

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In three years we have grown from a few categories to now covering all the Austen books, artwork, Back to the Future, almost every holiday, Disney, fairy tales, Harry Potter, nightmares/dreams, The GodfatherThe Phantom of the Opera, The Princess Bride, quotes, quizzes, my favorite music, horror films, things I FANGIRL over, Star WarsSupernatural, and many many more.

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From one follower to now 305. (And all real, not one paid).

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From just being on WordPress to having an account on tumblr, twitter, and my own twitter newspaper: Jane Austen Runs My Life

Gotcha!

And I want to say thank you to all my viewers who follow me on any of my sites. You all brighten my day! 🙂

And I truly mean it

And I truly mean it

So as the traditional gift for a three year anniversary is leather…well I decided that I would splurge and give myself…

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Clint Eastwood in a Leather belt

The law never looked so good

The law never looked so good

Clint Eastwood in a Leather hat

Dean Whinchester thinking leather jacket

Dean Winchester in a Leather jacket

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Indiana Jones in a Leather hat & jacket

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Shawn Hunter in a Leather jacket

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Star Lord in a Leather jacket

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Owen in a Leather vest

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Rick O’Connell in Leather gun holsters

Do you think that’s too much? I don’t.

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For more on anniversaries, go to 25 More Films of Christmas

For more on the happenings of my life, go to Avengers Assemble

Heaven on Earth: 13 of the Best Fictional Libraries

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So if you’ve been following me, you are pretty aware of my love of libraries.

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A few months back I tried to get a job at Buzzfeed, who won’t let you apply unless you create posts. So as I was racking my brain for something to write about, I decided to do a post on my favorite fictional libraries. After all:

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Sadly, it didn’t get very much interest on Buzzfeed as I would have liked. So I decided that I would repost it on here.

So here we go, my top 13 Favorite Fictional Libraries.

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13) Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

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Guy Montag is a fireman in the future, and as a fireman his job is to burn books. Books are now illegal, and it is up to firemen to root out the secret libraries and destroy them. After witnessing a woman willingly burn alive with her library, it gets Guy thinking about what the books contain. It begins with one book, but ends with Guy questioning everything he has ever known.

Why the library is awesome!: So we don’t actually know what is in this library, but if a person is willing to die with it you know it has to hold some amazing things. Even if the books are only valuable to the owner.

For more on Ray Bradbury, go to Friday Night Fun

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12) The Music Man

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A conman salesman, “Professor” Harold Hill (Robert Preston),  visits the town of River City, Iowa; and convinces the townspeople that the only way to save their children from becoming bad eggs, is to create a boys’ band. But where to get the instruments? From Professor Harold Hill of course! Marian, the town librarian, is a piano teacher, and the only one who could expose Professor Hill as a fraud, so Professor Hill sets out to seduce her. Along the way Professor Hill changes as he starts to care for the people he plans to con.

Why the library is awesome!: One of the musical numbers is Marian the Librarian in which Professor Hill attempts to seduce Marian by singing and dancing with her around the library. A library in which the librarian and town dance around singing? You get two in one—items to read and a show.

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11) The Cat Who… Series

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The Cat Who…Series is about amazing reporter  Jim “Qwill” Qwilleran who solves murders with the help of his cats. Qwill was a nationally-acclaimed reporter, until he became an alcoholic and lost everything. The first book, The Cat Who Read Backwards, Qwill is trying to put his life back in order and is searching for a job as a reporter. He joins the staff of the Daily Fluxion as a feature writer. After his landlord, the art critic, is killed, Qwill starts investigating with little clues pointed out by his landlord’s cat, Kao K’o Kung (Koko for short). As Qwill continues his investigations he ends up picking up another cat, Yum Yum. In The Cat Who Played Bhrams, Qwill journeys up north to the small town of Mooseville, and visits an old family friend. He ends up inheriting millions, but in order to get them, he has to remain in Moose County. This changes his life forever.

Why the library is awesome!: Qwill is an avid reader and collects as many as he can afford. When he inherits the money, he also receives a stone mansion with a giant library. It holds thousands of books from rare pieces that are worth millions to secondhand and beloved buys.

For more on The Cat Who… Series, go to The Cat Who Wrote A Blog

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10) The Breakfast Club

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So the movie begins one Saturday morning when five very different students have been sentenced with detention and are stuck with each other. We have Allison Reynolds (Ally Sheedy), “the basket case” who just came for fun; Andrew Clark (Emilio Esteevez), “the athlete”, who recieved detention for bullying a kid; John Bender (Judd Nelson), “the criminal”, sent there because of his acting up in class;  Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald), “the princess”, caught skipping school to go shopping; Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall), “the brain”, who brought a flare gun to school. At first everyone abides by their cliques, but through the course of the day they all bond together sharing their most personal secrets and working out their dysfunctions.

Why the library is awesome!: A gigantic library with multiple levels and a great sound system! Who wouldn’t want to spend their Saturdays there?

For more on The Breakfast Club, go to The Anniversary of Its Formation

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9) My Fair Lady

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Based on the play Pygmalion, this musical has Professor Henry Higgins (Rex Harrison) is disgusted with how the English butcher their English. As he is complaining, he runs into a cockney-accented, flower girl Eliza Doolittle (Audrey Hepburn). He makes a bet with his friend Colonel Pickering, that he will be able to teach Eliza how to speak so well that people will mistake her for a duchess. Eliza agrees to the bet as she wants to own a high class flower shop. However, they have their work cut out for them, as Professor Higgins methods are helpful, but extremely rude and harsh.

Why the library is awesome!: Henry Higgins may be rude and a jerk, but this professor has one of the best libraries. Why can’t all libraries be like this?

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8) 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

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In the late 19th century, something is destroying ships as they are navigating the seas, cutting huge holes in the sides and completely ruining them. Professor Aronnax, a leading marine biologist, theories that the creature destroying the ships may come from the deepest depths of the ocean, which would give it incredible strength. He joins a crew who has set out to destroy it, taking along his assistant. The ship is destroyed; but Professor Aronnax, his assistant, and whaler Ned Land survive. They find themselves on a giant submarine, the Nautilus, joining its creator Captain Nemo on a journey under the sea.

Why the library is awesome!: This library is a masterpiece as Captain Nemo had thousands of books by the greatest minds. His collection covered science, morals, philosophy, and literature-in every language.

Professor Aronnax: “I thank you for having placed this library at my disposal. It contains treasures…and I shall profit by them.”

For more on 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

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7) The Mummy (1999)

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In 1290 B.C. Egypt, a high priest Imhotep is caught having an affair with the Pharaoh’s woman. He is put through all the death rites, while still alive, and buried in Hamunaptra. Fast forward to 1932, a French Foreign Legion officer, Rick O’Connell (Brendan Fraser), finds himself in Hamunaptra, but lost in the desert. Three years later, librarian Evie (Rachel Weisz) is approached by her treasure-hunter brother Jonathan, with an artifact that he thinks will lead him to Hamunaptra. They pick up Rick O’Connell as a guide, and find the city. As they search for treasure they discover the mummy, and accidentally awaken him.

Why the library is awesome!: Even though Evie makes a mess, most of us book lovers wouldn’t mind putting the library she worked at back together as it would allow us to check out all those books. Plus it holds a map to a lost city that holds the Book of Life and the Book of the Dead.

For more on The Mummy (1999), go to Part X: The Movie List That Would NOT Die!

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6) Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

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In this Indiana Jones adventure, Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is on the search for his dad (Sean Connery) and the Holy Grail. His father had been searching for the artifact and disappeared, causing Indy to pick up the trail. He picks up where his dad left off in Venice with Dr. Elsa Schneider, discovering a clue to the Grail. He continues from there to save his dad on the Austria-Hungary border, and discovers a betrayal stebbing all the way from the Nazis

Why the library is awesome!: You have a library that has spiral staircases, stain glass windows, and secret treasure underneath. How cool is that? It does rest over the graves of dead bodies…BUT you hold a key to finding the Holy Grail! That’s a great tradeoff.

For more on Indiana Jones, go to And Away We Go

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5) The Swan Princess

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Derek and Odette were arranged to be married when they were babies. Every summer Odette and her father would visit Derek and his mother in order to get the two to become friends and hopefully, fall in love. The two dislike each other as they don’t like playing with each other. They reach the marriageable age, but Derek messes up with Odette as he tells her that beauty is the only thing that matters. As he runs after them to make up for his stupidity, Odette is captured by an evil wizard and her father killed. The wizard wants Odette to marry him so he can have her kingdom, but Odette says she will never marry the wizard and is turned into a swan, only to become human when the moon touches the pond. Derek searches for Odette and trains himself to be able to handle it. When Derek discovers Odette, the two have to find a way to save her and change her to human.

Why the library is awesome!: So we only see this library for one scene in the film and it rivals that of Beauty and the Beast. Multiple levels, spiral staircases, and incredibly tall ladders to reach everything.

For more on The Swan Princess, go to You Should Write a Book

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4) Harry Potter Series

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Harry Potter discovers that he is a wizard and goes to Hogwarts School, learning magic spells, potions, and having to fight all kinds of creatures.

Why the library is awesome!: Think of all the magical knowledge within in this place? How awesome would it be to roam these stacks and unlock that. Really explains why Hermione likes to spend so much time there.

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For more on Harry Potter, go to A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

heading-banner11970857801243195263Andy_heading_flourish.svg.hi3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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Buffy is a teenage girl that discovers she is a slayer. She’s equipped with certain abilities that allow her to take down all kinds of monsters-demons, vampires, etc.

Why the library is awesome!: You have a library that holds tons of books for school along with almost anything on the supernatural. Not to mention it doubles as a training area that holds all kinds of weapons. What else do you need?

For more on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to Simply Fantastic

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2) The Sandman Chronicles

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The Sandman Chronicles follows the story of the sandman, or Dream. He was captured and imprisoned, but manages to escape after years, and then has to right his dominion and the rest of the world. These series combines Christianity, mythology, Shakespeare, and more.

Why the library is awesome!: The library in Dreaming holds every book ever dreamt of, even those that were never written. How awesome would it be to roam those stacks?

For more on The Sandman Chronicles, go to Dreaming of the Sandman 

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1) Beauty and the Beast

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Belle loves to read and finds it hard to relate to anyone in her town. Her father goes out of town on business and gets lost, staying over at a castle he finds. He upsets the owner and is kept prisoner, that is until Belle offers herself in her father’s place.

Why the library is awesome!: Do I really need to explain how awesome this library is? I’m sure every book lover has fallen in love with it. Multiple levels, spiral staircases, and comfy chairs in front of the fireplace-it’s a dream come true.

Yep:

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For more on Beauty and the Beast, go to You’re Doing It Wrong

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Yep these are some of the greatest libraries ever, and I hope the one I create is even a fraction of these.

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For more on libraries, go to When in Doubt

For more book filled posts, go to Taking in Strays

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Perfectly Imperfect

For more quizzes, go to Fandom Love