I’ll Be Watching You: Cat’s Eye (1987)

So Horrorfest V is reaching it’s last few weeks and could there be something missing?

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I’ve already done an animated film like always, a Disney film, and Alfred Hitchcock. All things that have become staples every year. Now who could be missing?

suspicious Hmm

A Stephen King film!!

Yes, it is time to review a Stephen King film. Not a Horrorfest has gone by without me reviewing one of his films, so here we go.

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Every breath you take…I’ll be watching you

I had never seen this film before, but my friend really wanted to watch it as she loves ’80s films and was a horror film mood. Aren’t we all?

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The film is actually based on three Stephen King short stories, with the only thing pulling them all together is a cat.

Zunar-J-5/9 Doric-4-7 AKA Jake

So the first third of the film is based on the short story Quitters, Inc. First we see our stray cat wandering the streets. It goes to a store window and sees a little girl mannequin. This changes into a vision of a real girl (Drew Barrymore) who is calling for the cat to come and save her. I guess it is another child with powers, those come up a lot in Stephen King films.

The cat gets captured by a guy who works for Quitters Inc. He takes the cat back to headquarters, where Dick Morrison is being dropped off. Now you might not recognize the actor’s face, James Wood, but you will defintely recognize his voice as Hades from Hercules.

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Dick has been a long time smoker and his friend advised using the agency, Quitters Inc. to finally stop his habit. He’s given paperwork to fill out, but finds it hard to as the man next to him is hysterically crying.

The_Wolf_Man_4Crying sad

His wife comes out with her clothes all messed up and looking like she has had a hard time. She is furious with her husband, blaming him, but he quiets her down and tells Dick she is having her second treatment.

Dick thinks the whole thing smells.

Gilmore girls creep

And he decides to leave, but before he can go he is stopped by Dr. Vinnie Donatti. He brings him into his office and explains their 100% success rate.

That poor CAT!!! I just wanted to run in and grab him, save him.

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It’s okay I have you.

So yes the first offense will be James’ wife “cat room”, not too much but there will be shocking. The second offense will be his daughter in the “cat room”, third offense someone will rape his wife, and the fourth offense will be his death.

OMG gasp

What a psychopath. A sadistic one too.

you're evil

So Dick quits cold turkey and goes home. He acts like a real bear because his addiction is gnawing at him. He tries his hardest, but can’t sleep. That night he heads downstairs and starts looking for a cigarette.

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When he gets downstairs, he hears a noise coming from the closet.

What the fork

He grabs an umbrella and throws it at the closet, hearing an umpf. Quickly he tosses his cigarette away and takes his golf clubs out, pretending that was the whole reason he was in the office.

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The next day Dick goes to visit his daughter, Alisha (Drew Barrymore) who has down syndrome and lives at a school. He brings her a doll, but sees that Dr. Donatti is watching him. Dr. Donatti warns him that his people will always be watching.

creep watching lovely bones Stanley tucci

In fact, just that morning a jogger was around his house, but he wasn’t really a jogger as no jogger wears oxfords. Yes look out Dick, they are everywhere.

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So Dick has been doing good for two weeks. He then goes to a party and he is the only one not smoking. The next day when he gets stuck in traffic, he finds a cigarette in the glove box and smokes it, confident no one is watching.

Majorly

Majorly

The guy in the car next to him is a Quitters, Inc. agent and speeds off to report him as soon as the traffic clears. Dick tries to race home and when he gets there he finds it ransacked and his wife missing.

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He runs to Quitters, Inc. and sure enough there is his wife in the cat box. Dick tries to fight with the two men and get his wife free. His confrontation frees our stray cat from his cage and he goes running off.

I'm getting out of here

I’m getting out of here

Dick, however, is forced to stay and watch his wife be tortured.

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Afterwards, Dick explains everything and his promise to not give into temptation and hurt his family again. I just think why didn’t they go to the police? He never signed a release form and two people will be giving testimony.

I mean, seriously.

I mean, seriously.

So weeks pass and Dick has been doing great, only one problem; he’s been gaining weight. It is common after quitting an addiction, and Dick feels okay about it.

dietntfatSabrina the teenage witch

However, Quitters, Inc says that he needs to lose weight or else they will cut off his wife’s pinky finger.

Diet

A few days later, Dick and his wife are having dinner with a family friend, the same one who advised him to join Quitters, Inc. They are having a great time until Dick realizes his friend’s wife is missing the top of her pinky finger.

OMG gasp

That means that his friend knew what was going to happen. He sent him there and new the horrors he would face. What a-

wordICan't say Toy Story

I would dump that friend and never speak to them again. And that ends our first story.

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The second section comes from the short story, The Ledge. The cat and the viewers have traveled from New York to New Jersey, Atlantic City to be exact, as he continues to look for the girl in the vision. Here the cat is trying to cross a busy intersection when he is spotted by Cressner, casino owner and very powerful man. He spots the cat and bets that he will make it across without injury, while his friend thinks the cat will be killed.

All I can think:

Poor cat. They are so cruel to you.

Poor cat. They are so cruel to you.

The cat does manage to make it and Cressner takes him home; telling his two rough guys to “get him”

Who?

Who?

Meanwhile, gambler and tennis pro, Johnny Norris has been seeing Cressner’s estranged wife. He sends her away on her own as he has a few things to take care of and wants her safe from her crazy husband. As soon as she boards the bus, Johnny is beat up and taken.

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He is brought to Cressner’s penthouse and Cressner tells him that he has planted heroin in his car and is going to call the cops on him. However, he will make one deal and if Johnny can do it he will get “money,the girl, the gold watch, the car, and everything.” All Johnny has to do is walk around his ledge without falling off, if he does, he’s dead.

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Johnny sees no other way and agrees. However, as he starts to move around, Cressner does everything in his power to try and get him to fall off; playing a trumpet, shooting him with a fire hose, etc.

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

He finally makes it around and back inside. Cressner gives him a bag full of money, but there is one extra item. His wife’s head.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cressner gets ready to kill Johnny too, when Johnny, angry and horrified, lunges toward him trying to knock them over. The cat joins in, causing some to trip and allows Johnny to get the gun. The cat then takes off while Johnny shoots the goon and train the gun on Cressner.

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Cressner promises him anything, anything at all, just let him live. But that is not good enough for Johnny.

Instead he forces Cressner to do the same challenge he did. And Cressner isn’t as lucky.

SPLAT!

SPLAT!

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We then come to the third installment, General. The cat has finally made it to the little girl who has been calling him the whole time in Wilmington, North Carolina. However, the girl doesn’t act like she has been calling him, so why was that in it earlier?

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So the little girl, Amanda, wants to keep the cat, calling him General, but her mom hates cats. She especially doesn’t want him in the house and throws him out at night. However, General knows he needs to protect Amanda and tries to find a way inside.

Meanwhile, in Amanda’s room a portion of the wall opens up and a troll appears. He kills Amanda’s bird and tries to go after her, when General manages to get through the window and save her, getting stabbed in the process.

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

The next day, General is kicked out of the house as “he killed polly” the parrot. General lies about injured, the husband discovering it and commenting on it to the wife; but she doesn’t care. She thinks General should die for what he did. She captures him and drops him off at the animal shelter, telling lies so that he is euthanized that night.

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That poor cat. I would take good care of you.

Poor cat. They are so cruel to you.

Poor cat. They are so cruel to you.

That night the troll comes out and tries to kill Amanda, taking her breath away. General manges to escape, run back to the house, and kill the troll in the weirdest way. He traps him on the record playing Every Breath You Take, and sends him shooting into the fan, cutting him up into a million pieces.

I mean, seriously.

I mean, seriously.

The parents come in and realize there daughter was telling the truth about seeing a troll and decide to keep General to protect her.

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So that was Cat’s Eye, first of all it made ZERO sense!!! I mean who decided to put this together? It is just strung along and is just kind of dumb. I mean if they has made the cat a more crucial character and also gave a reason to why Drew Barrymore was calling the cat it would have been better. But mostly-

I don't like it 11

The first story was the best, but the other two were just dumb. It really isn’t worth watching.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to Every Twenty-Third Spring for Twenty Three Days, it Gets to Eat: Jeepers Creepers (2001)

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For more Stephen King, go to Gypsy Justice: Thinner (1996)

For more Drew Barrymore, go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?: Scream (1996)

For more films based on books, go to Have You Seen Megan Hipwell?: The Girl On the Train (2016)

For more Joseph Heller, go to You Think You Know Something, Don’t You?: Shadow of a Doubt (1943)

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It’s the Most Woeful Time of the Year

I don’t know about you but I hate this time of year.

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Now for some it might be the weather, but I have no problem with that.

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No I hate this time of the year for different reasons. The first for Daylight Savings Time

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Why do we still continue to have it? We don’t really need it. We need to be like Hawaii and just get rid of it.

I don't need you

My whole schedule is off, and I’m tired all the time as I’m still readjusting.

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And the abundance of sweets. We just had Valentine’s Day candy, Girl Scout Cookies, and now Easter candy and jelly beans are on sale. I feel so roly-poly.

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The thought of “summer clothes” and “summer body”, well…

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Then there is the weather. If it stuck to one thing that would be nice but instead it changes more than a woman on her period. It starts off cold, then is hot, then cold, then windy, then rainy, then super hot…

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I never know what to wear, but somehow always manage to pick the wrong thing.

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And then let’s talk about my skin…

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It’s so dry because of all these changes; but now it is hot so guess what that means? Time to crack out the sunscreen.

Pale

 From here until fall I’m going be lathered in the stuff.

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Oh well. Only about 7 more months until October!

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For more on Daylight Savings Time, go to The Most Awful Time of the Year

For more Princess Bride, go to Mawwiage. Mawwiage is What Bwings Us Togethew Today

For more I Love Lucy, go to The Perfect Hideout

For more of my musings, go to Somebody Help Me Please

Mawwiage. Mawwiage is What Bwings us Togethew Today

So what do I look for in a potential life mate?

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No I’m just kidding. That’s not what defines marriage for me. This is:

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Just kidding. Marriage is more than shared interests. There is so much more than needs to be a part of it.

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And of course, being a Christian, I’m also looking for this:

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Yep, eventually I’ll find the right guy.

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And I believe when I do find him, we’ll stay together forever.

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For more on relationships, go to It’s Not Old…It’s Vintage

For more on The Princess Bride, go to A Pirate’s Life is the Life for Me

For more on Star Wars, go to A Very Merry Star Wars Christmas

For more Relationship Rules, go to Growing Up is Hard to Do

For more quotes, go to These Shoes Were Made for Walking

A Pirate’s Life is the Life for Me

So I’m not sure how many of you were aware of this, but today is “International Talk Like a Pirate Day“. And you all know how I feel about holidays!

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Yes I LOVE THEM. All of them! So of course I had to participate. I mean could I have really let this one pass by?

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So yes I talked in pirate speak! And as Krispy Kreme was giving away a free dozen doughnuts if you cam dressed as a pirate:

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So of course did.

free stuff

A few years ago a group of us dressed up as pirates, so I still had my awesome costume. I put it on and sauntered over to the store, trying to be as Anne Bonny as I could.

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When I got there, I told the lady “Arr, I be commandeering this shop!”

And she gave me my doughnuts.

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Arr!! It be a good day. 🙂

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For more holiday posts, go to It’s A Jolly Holiday

For more pirates, go to Are You the Dread Pirate Roberts?

For more on just a normal day in the life, go to Walking on Pins and Needles

Year of the Anniversaries

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So you might have noticed that 2015, like every year, marks the anniversaries of certain things I adore. For instance I talked about the 30th Anniversary of The Breakfast Club.

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For more on that, read Don’t You Forget About Me.

The 200th anniversary of Emma

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The 90th anniversary of The Phantom of the Opera

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Go to Fantom of the Opera

And that this year also marked the 40th anniversary of everyone’s favorite shark:

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For more on that go to, You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Screen: Happy 40th to JAWS

And let’s not forget one of my most favorite movies ever! Yes folks, Back to the Future also celebrated 30 years of awesomeness.

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Go to Back in Time: Happy 30th Anniversary Back to the Future

But this year also marks the third anniversary of yours truly, JaneAustenRunsMyLife.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

In three years we have grown from a few categories to now covering all the Austen books, artwork, Back to the Future, almost every holiday, Disney, fairy tales, Harry Potter, nightmares/dreams, The GodfatherThe Phantom of the Opera, The Princess Bride, quotes, quizzes, my favorite music, horror films, things I FANGIRL over, Star WarsSupernatural, and many many more.

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From one follower to now 305. (And all real, not one paid).

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From just being on WordPress to having an account on tumblr, twitter, and my own twitter newspaper: Jane Austen Runs My Life

Gotcha!

And I want to say thank you to all my viewers who follow me on any of my sites. You all brighten my day! 🙂

And I truly mean it

And I truly mean it

So as the traditional gift for a three year anniversary is leather…well I decided that I would splurge and give myself…

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Clint Eastwood in a Leather belt

The law never looked so good

The law never looked so good

Clint Eastwood in a Leather hat

Dean Whinchester thinking leather jacket

Dean Winchester in a Leather jacket

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Indiana Jones in a Leather hat & jacket

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Shawn Hunter in a Leather jacket

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Star Lord in a Leather jacket

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Owen in a Leather vest

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Rick O’Connell in Leather gun holsters

Do you think that’s too much? I don’t.

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For more on anniversaries, go to 25 More Films of Christmas

For more on the happenings of my life, go to Avengers Assemble

The Fans and the Furious

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Sorry I missed last week, I had a lot of stuff happening plus my post celebrating Back to the Future’s 30th anniversary and the 4th of July. But here we are with another installment of all things I fangirl over.

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Fast & the Furious Franchise

I remember when this film first came out. I didn’t see it in theaters as I was too young, but once they started playing it on TV I couldn’t stop watching it. I loved it!

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I would watch it mostly for Paul Walker (still sad about his death) and the awesome looking cars. I may not know that much about them, but I could still appreciate them.

So the first film stars Paul Walker as an FBI agent going undercover to bust racers who have been robbing trucks. I have to admit that I was (and still am) a huge Paul Walker fan and that was the first reason I watched it. Not ashamed.

It's Paul!

It’s Paul!

I like Vin Diesel too, but just as an actor. He reminds me a lot of my brother, lookswise.

Anyways, FBI Agent Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) has a hard time trying to infiltrate the group as it is very tight-knit and hardly ever allows stranger. Him racing against Dominic “Dom” Toretto (Vin Diesel), and completely smoking his car doesn’t help his case.

Reality Sucks

He does catch a break when he helps Dom escape the police. Being the only one who doesn’t run away but helps him out, brings him into the group.

Double double yay

As he spends more time with these guys, he really gets to know them and like them. In fact he can’t believe there is anyway they could be involved with the robberies, as his objectiveness is thrown out the window for friendship.

He even starts dating Dom’s sister.

Spoke too soon

Eventually he realizes the truth when he hears about them going into the action, and follows them to help keep them safe. When one of the racers is shot during the robbery, Brian blows his cover by calling a helicopter in.

In the aftermath the rest of the group scatter, with Brian heading out to Dom’s house to get him. Instead of taking him in right away, as Brian still considers him a friend, they have one last race.

It was a fantastic movie!

Then came the sequel, 2 Fast 2 Furious.

In this Brian has been kicked out of the FBI for having let Dom go. He has been making a living as a racer, when the FBI ask him to come back and help them take down a drug-smuggler. The have an agent on the inside, Eva Mendes, but need someone to take the job as racer, and with Brian they won’t have to build a false character or worry that their guy will think the whole thing suspect. Brian agrees, but things get complicated fast. He and the FBI agent fall for each other, which is a horrible idea when the  guy you are trying to arrest is a psychopath, and another FBI agent hates his guts and is doing everything possilbe to make this hard for Brian.

It wasn’t as good as the original, but I still liked it. Paul was good as ever.

Then the third one came out, Tokyo Drift.

Karen stop talking

I don’t know what they were thinking! You can’t have a franchise be built on an actor and then suddeny new storyline, new character, new location. This was dumb, and doesn’t exist.

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Moving on to number four, Fast & Furious, dumb name but good movie.

In this Dom and the crew are back together and once again robbing trucks. When the heat is on, they disband. However, Dom finds out that Letty was murdered. When he starts tracking down who killed her, he runs into Brian O’Conner. Brian is back to being a FBI agent again, and is trying to take down a drug trafficker. The two team up, and it’s just like old times!

Finally something GOOD!

At the end, Brian is suspended from duty and Dom is sentenced to 25 years. He never serves one as Brian, Mia, and the rest of the gang break him out.

In Fast Five, not only do we have the group heading down the Rio, (the year’s theme as tons of things took place here), but the addition of the Rock, Dwayne Johnson.

The group is supposed to do an easy job of stealing three cars from a train, but discover there is a lot more involved. Computer chips, betrayal by a friend, DEA agents, and of course fast cars. The twist end in this is a final scene that shows Letty is alive!

In Fast & Furious 6, the group is scattered, but as always can be brought back together for a mission. In this the Rock asks for Dom’s help in taking down former British Intelligence Special Agent Owen Shaw. He only agrees after seeing the photo of Letty alive. So once again the group is back together for fast cars and butt kicking.

Which brings us to Furious 7. I haven’t watched it yet as I am still disheartened by Paul Walker’s death. But I’ll see it eventually and am sure to love it too.

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Hans Christian Anderson

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I’ve talked about him before, but I’ll say it again. Just like the Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Anderson is one of the best fairy tale writers of all time.

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Also being Danish, I feel a lot of pride in my countryman.

So I’ve probably mentioned this before, but I love fairy tales. I read them over and over as a child and continue today.

Or 10th, 50th, 100th....

Or 10th, 50th, 100th….

In fact I am currently rereading Han Christian Anderson’s work.

Anyways, his fairy tales are amazing, and because he is a Christian, they all have a deeper moral or parallel that he is trying to share with children and adults.

keanu Whoa

He didn’t write as many stories as the Brother’s Grimm, but the few he did are really powerful. Now I’m just going to list off my favorites with a brief note about them. You really should check him out for yourself.

There is the Emperor’s New Clothes, which teaches you that you shouldn’t focus solely on material objects, but need your sight somewhere else. It also shows you that people can be afraid to go against the grain and would rather stick with what’s stupid, than admit the truth.

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The Little Match Girl is a tale of a good girl living in poverty and abuse. She is wearing hardly anything, as they don’t have anything for her, trying to sell matches. To keep herself warm in the snow, she starts lighting matches, every time seeing a wonderful vision, until she sees her grandmother and is taken into heaven. It’s about dreams, hopes, and the eternal reward.

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The Little Mermaid is one of his most famous works, but I’m not going into it as I have already posted on it in The Little Moreland. The book is much better than the Disney film as it is about true love and being willing to sacrifice yourself for others.

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The Nightingale is about a Chinese emperor soon to be dying. A nightingale comes and sings him back to health. At first he wants to imprison him so that he can only sing for him and no others, but the nightingale tells him he can’t sing without freedom. He is let go and comes back to visit him. Someone makes a toy nightingale for the emperor, and soon everyone prefers this electronic and perverted one rather than the original. The real bird is banished, but unfortunately the new one breaks down from overuse. The emperor is once again sick, and the nightingale returns, causing the emperor to realize the true art was best. Not only commentary on art and artists, but original vs. new technology, the way people are willing to trade “old” for “new”, etc. There is a lot to be said about this piece.

Or story in this case

Or story in this case

The Snow Queen is probably Anderson’s longest story as it is actually divided into seven parts. Disney based Frozen on it, but it is nowhere near as amazing as the actual tale. This is the story of not only demons releasing shards of hate and evil onto the world, but of the equally evil Snow Queen. When she takes a young boy, Kay, who’s heart has been turned to ice by her and the shards; his best friend Gerda does all she can to find and save him. A powerful story of love, friendship, sacrifice, and bravery.

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The Steadfast Tin Soldier is so romantic. A tin soldier is created, but they ran out of tin so he is actually missing his leg. He falls in love with the beautiful paper ballerina, thinking she too is missing a leg like him. A toy goblin warns him to stay away, but the soldier refuses, and is thrown out the window. He does all he can to return to his love.

How romantic

How romantic

The Swineherd is one of those they get it in the end tales. In this a poor prince wishes to marry the emperor’s daughter. He sends her his finest rose and the best nightingale, but she refuses wanting the status of someone who has money to buy manmade ones, rather than something beautiful and real. She determines the prince unworthy of anything of her. He disguises himself as a poor swineherd and is able to con over a hundred kisses from her as she desires two inventions of his (a musical rattle and pot). When the king discovers this he throws her out, having been disgusted by her behavior. The prince reveals himself and also heads on his way, happy to be gone from someone who would prefer a swineherd with objects than a prince with true love. The princess is left alone to think on her bad decisions and lost status.

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Thumbelina is another cute tale about the beautiful girl only the size of a thumb and how she goes from crazy adventure to the next as she has to overcome many obstacles and creatures who want her.

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The Tinderbox is an adventure tale. In this a poor soldier is returning from war when he comes upon a witch. She asks him to go into a tree and get her a tinderbox, taking anything else he desires. When he retrieves the tinderbox and asks why she wants it, she tries to fight him and he kills her. Later he discovers that as owner of the tinderbox he can control three monstrous dogs. Now he uses his power to live well, rescue a princess, and battle a mean king.

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The Wild Swans is the last story I will write on. In this book we have a widowed king with a daughter and eleven sons who unknowingly marries an evil witch. She turns the boys into swans (by night they become boys again) and banishes the princess. After struggling, Princess Elisa ends up in the land of the fairies were she discovers that she can help her brothers if she takes a vow of silence and makes them shirts out of nettles. A prince finds her and brings her to his castle, the two eventually falling in love. They are to be married, but the archbishop is against it as he believes her to be a witch, a belief that is in his eyes confirmed when she goes to a graveyard to get nettles. They plan to burn her at the stake with her works, but as the are heading that way her brothers in swan form arrive, and she throws the shirts at them, transforming all but the youngest who is left with two wings. The truth is spoken and all live happily ever after.

The rest of his work is just as amazing and definitely worth a reading!

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For more on Hans Christian Anderson, go to The Little Moreland

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Hawk Nelson

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This was a Christian band that I got into when I was a teenager, and I have stayed a fan ever since. They gave great singers, musicians, and I loved that they still rocked out when it seemed that all music was destined to be pop and  rap.

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The only reason why I wanted to see the remake of Yours, Mine, and Ours, was because there are the band in the party scene.

Some of my absolute favorite songs of theirs are: Bring ‘Em Out, Crazy Love, Every Little Thing, Friend Like That, Live Life Loud, Love Like That, Skeleton, Take Me, Things We Go Through, and Turn It On. 

I definitely will be posting on them soon, but you should check them out for yourself.

For more Hawk Nelson, go to Fulfilling the List: A Walk to Remember (2002)

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Potterhead

Harry Potter Slytherin

Now I know Potterhead isn’t the official name for those who are Harry Potter fans, but I have been calling my friends that for years. Now this was a fandom I long tried to resist. When the books came out my parents didn’t want me to read them as they were unsure with how they presented magic and the patronus and such. Later they decided that I was old enough to make my own decisions, but by then I didn’t care. They didn’t really interest me.

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And then it was everywhere and in everything. And when things get too blown up, then I’m not really interested. And no I am not a hipster.

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I just don’t like doing things because everyone else is doing them. I’m not a hipster, I’m just old-fashioned.

So with all my friends being huge fans, and everyone I came into contact with loving it, it became almost like a game, my resisting peer pressure.

No thank youhowaboutno

It was funny two how they were always discussing whether I was a Ravenclaw or Gryffindor, and I had no idea what they were saying.

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayer

I did follow the memes though, and found them hilarious. Even though I didn’t understand all of them.

Harry Potter

But then I met this guy and we started dating, striking a deal that for every Harry Potter film I watched, we would watch an equal amount of Jane Austen. (You can read more in What’s the Dealio)

my planisworkingStarWars

We broke up before finishing the series and there I was stuck at film five not really understanding what was happening. I could have just watched the films with my friends and asked them a gazillion questions, but I decided that wasn’t for me and instead read the whole series.

Get it right

I enjoyed it, and will post my whole thoughts on it later. I have a super long post in the works as a summary of all my thoughts on the subject. I’m will end with two more things, my favorite characters. One of which is Draco.

Sorry had to do it

Boy does he make me laugh.

My other favorite character is Snape.

Snape+Lily

Not only is he totally awesome, and played by Alan Rickman, but he’s just…i don’t know perfect. He has a sad past, brooding nature, is a romantic, and all around doesn’t care what others think of him he does what he wants.

Get it right

Snape I love you. I know I’m probanly the only one, but I really wish you and Lily had ended up together and I think James Potter is a jerk.  Snape 4-EVA!!!!!

Oh, by the way I did finally find out what house I belonged to (on pottermore). I’m a Slytherin. And proud of it.

Harry Potter Slytherin

I guess my love for Draco and Snape makes a lot of sense now. Nah, I’d probably love them no matter who I was.

For more Harry Potter, go to Heaven on Earthhearts banner

The Princess Bride

PrincessBride

I am a HUGE Princess Bride fan. But I actually wasn’t for a long time.

Say What

I know crazy right? Well whenever I would flip channels on TV I would always tune in right at the end. For years I would only see the end of the film, and I didn’t quite understand it.

Every time!

This was back before everything was online so I could either buy it or rent it. Unfortunately, we didn’t have a card to Hollywood Video or Blockbuster.

90+s+kid+nostalgia_20e5bc_5364140

 

And my library didn’t have it.

Life'sNotFairPrincessBride

Then one year as I was talking to someone about how I had never seen the whole movie, my mom overheard and was in shock. So that birthday, guess what my present was? The Princess Bride. I watched it and loved it! From Westley,

DreadPirateRoberts Princess Bride

To Inigo,

inigo montoya PrincessBride kill my father prepare to die

 

Even Vizzini

I'mwaitingPrincessBride

And who can forget Miracle Max

princessBridecastlemiraclemax

And let’s talk about the comedy of it all. From Westley never being killed but always threatened

PrincessBrideMostlikelykillyouinthemorning

To the fire swamp

fireswamp

There is so much to say, I just can’t get it all out.

Can'tPutWhatIWanttoSayinWord

This is just one truly amazing film that I could watch over and over and over again.

watch movie over and over

I loved it and had become a major fan.

ThingsPrincessBrideFansShouldDo

I even read the book (which is nowhere as fantastic as the movie, trust me).

In fact whenever I meet another person who loves The Princess Bride, I fangirl crazily with them.

QuotePrincessBride

Just kidding. Although I do love that movie something fierce.

For more Princess Bride, go to Are You the Dread Pirate Roberts?

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NerdLifeBetterthannormaljohnGreen

 

That’s the truth!

hearts banner

For the previous post, go to Fun & Full of Fancy

Stay tuned for part 16

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For more on fairy tales, go to If the Show Fits: Why Cinderella is Actually Awesome

For more of my music, go to Counting Stars 

Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart

MrDarcyBrokeMyHeart

Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart by Beth Pattillo

Have you ever had a book and had a bad feeling about it?

BadFeelings

Either you check it out from the library, unwrap it, or pick it up in the bookstore and you just know that this book is not going to be something you enjoy.

DislikeYOuScream2

Well that’s how I felt about this book. In fact I borrowed it from the library months ago, but just couldn’t bring myself to read it. Eventually I couldn’t renew it any longer and had to read it.

So I started the book out and I actually was enjoying it.

WHAT!

WHAT! MUST KEEP READING

But then I got to the end where it all fell apart and I hated it.

I dont like it 11

So what went wrong?

So the book starts out Claire Prescott. Claire is in her thirties and from Kansas City. She is in a lackluster relationship with Neil,a  sports fanatic, and has recently lost her job when her sister calls in with a favor. After Claire’s parents died, she became the soul caregiver for her sister, forgoing college and other young adult dreams. Even now she is always caring for her sister, no matter that she is married and pregnant with her second child. Anyway, when her sister is put on bed-rest and can’t attend a special Pride & Prejudice seminar to give her paper, Claire steps up to the plate.

I-got-this-reaction-gif

Only one problem. Claire has never read anything Jane Austen, and the only thing she knows about it is that everyone who has read or watched it is obsessed with Mr. Darcy.

gameofthronesterriblemistakerob

So Claire journeys to Oxford University where she will be presenting the paper, and starts to feel overwhelmed as she is nowhere near the caliber of these people.

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She tries to relax and settle down, when the most gorgeous man comes her way and asks to sit with her.

be-still-my-heart-gaston-o

He introduces himself as James, in publishing, and from Manhattan. He too will be in the Pride & Prejudice seminar, although he is not a fan. Unfortunately he is as arrogant as he is cute. Luckily, the tongue-tied Claire is saved from making a fool of herself, as her room is ready.

That night and the welcome dinner, Claire finds herself seated with James and Martin, a kindly old man who instantly likes her. Claire tells them she is a doctor in pediatrics instead of the truth, making the same stupid cliché mistake that is done a thousand times in film and books.

Every time!

So now you know she is going to fall for James, and he for her, and then the truth will all come out making James never want to see her again. Same old, same old.

Same old thing.

Same old thing.

The next day is a free one, to help those who are suffering from jet-lag, and Claire decides to take a walk in the country. As she is roaming, she runs into an older woman, in a trench coat, sitting on a stump.

That's weird.

That’s weird.

Her name is Harriet Dalrymple and it turns out that she is a fan of Jane Austen as well. In fact she is distantly related to the author.

Harriet invites Claire over for tea, and Claire goes as she hopes to get Harriet out of the heat. They get to Harriet’s home, when Harriet drops a bomb on Claire. It turns out she has an earlier draft of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, the one that has been believed to be destroyed.

Say What

Claire is sure Harriet is joking, but Harriet pulls out a sheet of very old paper, written in old ink, and it looks extremely legitimate.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

So Claire starts reading, and even to her limited knowledge it doesn’t seem right. While the style looks right,

Mr. Bennet is dead!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

And Mr. Bingley chooses to forgo renting Netherfield!

NotLiketheBook

Rev. Collins decides to leave the church and instead become a gentleman of leisure.

What the

This version sounds more like the beginning of Sense & Sensibility, with Elizabeth planning their removal to a cheaper area, Mr. Collins coming and kicking them out a’la Fanny Dashwood, and the whole group moving to the seaside. The only difference? Elizabeth decides to seek employment. 

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Now there are quite a few problems with this writing, the first being why didn’t Jane marry Mr. Collins? When you read Pride & Prejudice, we know Jane is a people pleaser and that she would do anything her parents told her too. And we know that Mr. Collins likes Jane, in fact the only thing that keeps him from marrying her is because Mrs. Bennet assumed that Mr. Bingley would ask for Jane’s hand. But if we have no Mr. Bingley, then most likely Mr. Collins would have asked for Jane’s hand and Mrs. Bennet would have agreed, like in Lost in Austen. 

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

Why would Elizabeth be seeking employment? I mean we know that Elizabeth cares for her family and wants to help them, but she is of the gentry class [minor], so it is a bit odd that that would be her first idea. Someone like her who has never had to worry about such things automatically jumping to that? This isn’t modern times, it would make more sense if the idea grew gradually instead of all at once.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

So Claire becomes a little weirded out as Harriet says “the others won’t be happy” that she shared the manuscript. In fact she starts to worry that maybe she is in the opening scenes of a horror film.

Gilmore girls creep

She quickly runs away and heads to downtown.

Run Away

In downtown she runs into Martin and learns more about Jane Austen, such as the fact that she wrote a manuscript 10 years prior to Pride & Prejudice, but choose not to keep it, later publishing the one we have today. That starts her thinking, could the one I’ve been reading at Harriet’s be the “real” one?

IndianaJonesHmmMaybe

Martin also tells Claire about Tom Lefoy, the wealthy man Jane Austen fell for, but was unable to marry as his relatives quickly spirited him away from such a poor conquest. Tom Lefoy is believed to be the foundation for Mr. Darcy’s character, Austen’s version having a man of high means willing to brave the negative consequences of marrying down, along with the hateful reception from his relations. Tom Lefoy was also the basis for the plot of Persuasion, of course that novel being a wish fulfillment as the man goes away, but comes back, reuniting the couple.

The next day starts the seminar, and Claire meets their facilitator Eleanor Gibbs. Besides Claire, James, and Martin, there are three other group members: Rosie and Louise from New Zealand, and Olga from Russia. Rosie & Louise go first, their video presentation on the many portrayals of Mr. Darcy in film and TV.

 Pick whichever look you prefer

Now nobody likes their presentation, but this would actually be pretty fascinating IF done right.

I mean first we have Laurence Olivier (my opinion one of the best Darcys) who is able to play restrained and rude; balanced with the charming and endearing Darcy. You also see subtle changes in how he talks to Elizabeth, but with the proposal still coming as a shock. Then we have David Rintoul in the ’80s who is more rude than restrained. Colin Firth‘s  Darcy is the first time we are seen multiple sides of Darcy as in this depiction as we are shown his viewpoint on events instead of just Elizabeths. In Furst Impressions, Mr. Darcy is played by Wishbone the dog, being RADICALLY different. Then we have Colin Firth again, this time in Bridget Jones’ Diary, playing a betrayed man, restrained as his heart was broken, but eventually showing his true emotions. Martin Henderson in Bride & Prejudice, is not only extremely cocky but integrating into a vastly different culture. Matthew Macfayden is more cold than rude, changing more rapidly to the charming Mr. Darcy. Lost in Austen’s Darcy is played by Elliot Cowan who can be downright cruel at times. Josh Hopkins‘ Darcy in The 12 Men of Christmas isn’t a gentleman or rich, but a rugged outdoorsman, small business owner, and volunteer on the rescue squad. J.J. Feild in Austenland is more reserved, but then easily transforms to the Darcy we all love. And then of course Daniel Vincent Gordh, The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, isn’t even shown until the very end, forcing the viewers to rely on how Lizzie and friends see him, contrasting that to the amazing Darcy we are later introduced to. Sorry small tangent, I’ll get back to the book review.

LookBackNorth&SouthMr.Thornton

So, no one likes their presentation and Claire feels better about presenting next time.

The next day, Claire sees James and Eleanor talking, and it doesn’t seem to be going all that well. She waits until they are done to get a seat, when Eleanor comes over to talk to her.

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

It turns out that Harriet is Eleanor’s mother and suffering from dementia. Eleanor thinks Claire will only make things worse and wants her to stay far away. Claire doesn’t want to stop seeing Harriet, but at the same time she doesn’t want to hurt her.

Later that afternoon as she is walking away, James comes out of nowhere and asks her to dinner.

What?

What?

Claire is surprised, but accepts.

excited

James takes her to a super fancy place for dinner and the two discuss Darcy. James thinks it’s the money and extreme good looks that stirs the women’s hearts, but Claire doesn’t agree. He kind of squashes anything Claire has to say in retort and moves on to other topics.

How rude

Now here is where James is dead wrong. Money isn’t what makes Darcy so sought after, [you can read more about in my post First Impressions], it’s the fact that he is willing to humble himself and admit he was wrong, help out the Bennet family with no promise that he would gain Elizabeth’s heart, and the fact that he is brave enough to withstand all objections by his family for the woman he marries. That is why he is so romantic!

Mr.Darcy & Dating

Anyways, James tells Claire that Martin is a professor who’s field is Jane Austen, in fact he will be teaching in Oxford in the fall. Claire is surprised and the conversation moves on.

That night as James is walking Claire to her dorm, the two have a moment, nothing happens, but Claire is starting to feel guilty about it as she is in a relationship with Neil. A stagnant, boring one, but a relationship none the less.

Likeahouse

The next day Claire finds herself going to see Harriet’s, and another portion of the “manuscript”.

Elizabeth is at Rosings Park, a companion to Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s daughter Ann.

suspicious  Hmm

Okay why is she working here? How did she even meet Lady Catherine? Reverand Collins introduced them in the original novel, but judging from how people treated the ex-Reverand Hale in North & South, I don’t think Lady Catherine would want someone related to the ex-Reverand Collins. Whether he left the church for beliefs or money.

uh-no-gif

So Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam are on their way to visit. Elizabeth goes out walking the gardens and getting messy, dirty, and tan. She runs into Mr. Darcy on a horse. He believes her to be a lower class servant and is rather mean to her. Elizabeth shoots the barbs right back.

Okay in Pride & Prejudice, Mr. Darcy was seen as rude or cold, but never downright mean. In fact the whole reason everyone really starts hating him is that he gives the impression of looking down on people and says Elizabeth isn’t pretty enough to him. BUT, we know from his servants that he really nice and caring, so why would you make him like this?

Get it right

Get it right

As she continues on her way, angry with herself as being rude might get her fired, she encounters Colonel Fitzwilliam, who has injured himself riding. The two flirt a bit, and Elizabeth scurries on her way to get help.

So we have Colonel Fitzwilliam as a rival for Elizabeth’s affections instead of Wickham. Claire is surprised by this, but can’t read more as she has to leave. Harriet warns her about Mrs. Potter, the leader of the Formidables, a secret society that wants to make sure anything Jane Austen’s sister did not intend for public viewships to remain hidden. Eleanor also wants the manuscript as she wants to publish it and become rich. Harriet sends all the pieces she has found with Claire, feeling they are safer with her until she makes her decision as what to do with them.

So now it is as if Claire has entered a spy movie, as she has “the package” everyone is after.

As Claire is contemplating what to do, she runs into James, who invites her to tour the Botanical Gardens with him. They walk around with Claire wanting to slowly stroll and take it all in, while James is just wanting to keep moving forward. Claire questions him as to what happened if a famous author’s previous manuscript was discovered and James tells her that it will mean A LOT OF MONEY for the person and the publishing house.

money money money

They eventually have to stop as it gets too hot. Now I have never been to England and I know this author has, but I looked up the temperatures and it does not get hot. 70 degrees? That’s nothing, try being in the ’90s or 100s. THAT’S HOT!

Anyways, as they are resting, James falls asleep, leaning on Claire. So with Claire having one guy interested it is fitting in scriptworld for Neil to decide to call her up.

Phew!

Phew!

Yes Neil who hardly ever seems to pay attention and is just calling her after she has been there like three days already! THREE DAYS!! He should have called the first day to see that she got in okay. Bad boyfriend, bad.

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

It turns out that Claire’s sister Missy said something to him, that made Neil want to call. Hurumph.

James wakes up and asks Claire to dine with him again, but she decides that the dining hall is better as the nice restaurants make her a bit uneasy and they really should be mingling with the other students. They have dinner, with Martin joining them. At the end of it, one of the porters comes for Claire as she has a package waiting for her.

Inside the package are more pages of the novel. Claire runs to her room to read more when she finds a warning note from Mrs. Parrot who wants the pages back.

They're watching her!

They’re watching her!

Claire decides to continue reading as she just has to know what happens next.

So Lady Catherine is throwing a ball, of which Elizabeth is not invited. To her surprise at the last minute Lady Catherine requests her presence, and she dresses quickly in a black gown. 

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

So as this manuscript is missing a lot of pages, we are unsure how long after Elizabeth’s father died that this ball is taking place. Black was only worn during the full morning period, half of the complete mourning period. As a daughter, Elizabeth would mourn for six months, having to wear all black in the first three and could wear half black for the last three. SHE WOULD NEVER, EVER wear a black gown if she wasn’t mourning. Now as Elizabeth is mourning, as she is wearing black, she could not go to the ball. Customs allowed the deceased’s family to only go to Church and a few functions, balls were out of the question. And a woman like Lady Catherine who cares so much about propriety and society would never make a faux-pas like that. NEVER!

So a mistake like that? Book’s a fake. Move on Claire, move on.

Majorly

Majorly

So Rev. Humphrey, the one who took Mr. Collins’ position, invites Elizabeth to an outing to show off his house. Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam are also going to take a look. Elizabeth agrees, if Ann’s health allows her to come. Lady Catherine agrees if Darcy leads Ann. Elizabeth notices that Darcy doesn’t seem eager to be thrown together with his cousin. Colonel Fitzwilliam will lead Elizabeth, disappointing Rev. Humphrey as he wanted her all to himself. 

Claire decides to go out for some exercise, taking the manuscript in her purse, and runs into Martin. She asks for his help and shows him the manuscript. Martin wishes he could see more and find out where it all came from, but Claire can’t tell him as she promised Harriet. Martin guesses that the Formidables are involved somehow in all this, much to Claire’s surprise. In the end Martin tells her that he believes it could be real, and when Claire asks for advice of what to do, he tells her to follow her heart.

heartguideyou

As she is heading to her room, Claire runs into James who makes her feel…words can’t describe. He walks her home when, he suddenly kisses her.

BMW Kiss

Just as suddenly he breaks away, all sorry that he gave her the wrong impression but nothing can happen here story. If nothing can happen why would you kiss her? Come, on!

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

Claire is justifiably incensed and takes off to her room. When she reaches her room she finds it ransacked!

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

The next day Eleanor is angry with Claire for bothering her mother, and tries to get the manuscript from her. But Claire steadfastly refuses.

It’s time for Claire to share her sister’s essay, which is on the relationship between Elizabeth and Jane. Her sister, Missy, feels that Elizabeth’s constant helping actually hinders her chances of securing an attachment with Bingley, rather than the younger sister’s actions. However, I disagree as anything anyone says about Jane doesn’t deter Bingley except for when Mr. Darcy tells him that not only is Jane from bad stock, but he doesn’t think she really likes Bingley that much. So in reality it comes from Elizabeth not telling Jane what Charlotte told her too, make it clear she was very interested. Sorry Missy but you have some huge holes in your thesis.

This whole essay upsets Claire as it makes her rethink her relationship with Missy, maybe Missy actually resents everything she’s done to help her.

After the paper is shared, they spend the rest of the time talking about the guy we all hate, Wickham.

GeorgeWickhamKickButtPride&Prejudice

When class end Claire finds herself back at Harriet’s cottage, and is given the next part to read.

So the group has gone out to visit Rev. Humphrey’s home. The good Rev. is very interested in Elizabeth, which upsets Lady Catherine. ( I don’t know why? Wouldn’t she prefer him giving her all the attention instead of her nephews?) Elizabeth finds herself continuously paired with the colonel and starts enjoying her time with him. Elizabeth asks about an engagement between Darcy and Ann, but Colonel Fitzwilliam assures her that there is nothing definite. Elizabeth is hopeful as she cares for Darcy.

Now why would she do that? In this manuscript we have only seen two thing with Darcy 1) rude to servants and people he thinks are below him 2) Very quiet. Now does that seem like something Elizabeth would fall for? NO! In Pride & Prejudice there is the hope that maybe he might be her true guy, which is dashed when he says that he doesn’t think she is that attractive. Her contempt for him is only changed after she sees his sweet behavior in Pemberly with his servants, sister, and her and her relations. This is all further fortified when he helps with Lydia and brings Jane and Bingley together. Get it right!

Get it right!!!

Get it right Beth Patillo!!!

Elizabeth asks the Colonel more about  himself and learns that he has recently left the regiment as he has been granted a parcel of land by his father. He doesn’t seem supremely happy with the choice as he misses being out on the sea. Elizabeth also shares a bit of her feelings on how she dislikes the changes her family was forced to go through. Elizabeth then starts thinking on how he would make a great husband, and protect his wife. If only Darcy was like that. Darcy, who makes her feel alive when he kissed her, but now only ignores her.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

There are two, HUGE problems with that! Huge!!

First of all, look at Elizabeth!! That’s not Elizabeth. That character is the type you would find in a 10¢ “historical”, bodice-ripping, romance novel. Oooh what a strong protector. Oh Mr. Darcy’s eyes, his lips. NO NO NO  NO NO NO! Elizabeth does not moon over such things NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This is horrible! This is like bad fan fiction. This is Fifty Shades of Gray bad! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!! Elizabeth would never act like that, Never!!!

NotLiketheBook

I’m sooooooooo upset right now!!!!!!

notenoughChamomileTeaStopRage

Just argh!! Words cannot express how much I hate how they took a character I love and destroyed it so!!! And I get that the author is trying to present a radically different Austen novel and one that a younger Jane might write but I don’t care!!! I don’t like it!

I don't like it 11

And number two NO KISSING IN JANE AUSTEN NOVELS!!!! There is no way Jane Austen would write them kissing. That wasn’t done in Regency periods. You don’t go kissing until after marriage, unless you are a no good cad like Mr. Tilney’s older brother. So NO NO NO NO! Mr. Darcy would not be trifling with girls affections, no. And Jane would not put that in there.

So there! tongue sticking out pug

No way! It is a FAKE!!!!!!

Elizabeth enjoys Colonel Fitzwilliam’s company, but she is in love with Darcy.

Although I don’t know why as apparently he is a cad.

As Claire leaves Harriet’s she sees someone following her.

creep watching lovely bones Stanley tucci

It’s Mrs. Parrot who wants the manuscripts back.

The next morning, Claire heads out to Starbucks and on the way to class runs into James. James wants to apologize for how he was acting as he cares for her. He is about to confess something to Claire, and Claire is about to tell the truth on her not being a doctor, when who should appear? Neil.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

What a cliché!

Neil introduces himself as Claire’s boyfriend, which upsets James. James asks if it is true, of which Claire says yes, causing James to become angry and stalk off. Neil realizes what has been happening and also becomes angry and takes off. Claire is just appalled at how quickly life was turned upside down.

StoryOfMyLifeSomeLikeItHotMarilynMonroe

James presents his paper on how Elizabeth wasn’t really in love with Darcy but just a gold-digger once she saw how awesome Pemberly was. Claire runs out, just wanting to be alone to deal with all the stuff that went down that morning. She runs to the nearby river to think, when Neil comes floating down on a boat. They talk about their relationship, with Neil admitting that he didn’t pay as much attention to her as he should have, but that Claire wasn’t giving him as much attention as she is too focused on her sister. Now I thought this was a very late development, as previously Claire had mentioned that she did a lot for her sister, but when Neil mentions it as almost an obsession. Who is right? We don’t know as the author is almost trying to rescind her earlier reasons for why Claire was unhappy in her relsationship and the whole character based on Neil. I don’t buy it.

uh-no-gif

Claire leaves Neil to think, and heads to Harriet’s who has found more pieces of the manuscript.

Elizabeth is walking in the park when she runs into Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy tells Elizabeth that he will not be victim to her game of trying to catch him. He tells her he loves her but that he could never marry a poor peon like her. If he was free from family control, maybe, but no. Elizabeth becomes angry, and says she never tried any such thing of “catching him”. And Darcy is free to do what he wishes.

Okay this is what I don’t like! They made Darcy the villian! They made him a pompus, jerk, pansy, mamma’s boy! No, NO, NO, NO. That is not how Darcy should be. And wouldn’t this Darcy make more sense after her fling with Tom LeFoy as she would have been angry with his lack of standing up for their love and releasing her anger in written form? Why would she  change and make Darcy better after such a disappointing circumstance when her previous creations evoked a closer emotion. It doesn’t make sense to me. And Darcy cannot be the villain. NO!!!!

No thank you

Elizabeth then travels to see Jane and pour out her miseries

Whatever! This book is going to have to do some major begging to get me to like it as it has sunk very, very low in my opinion.

So Claire and Neil meet at a pub to talk. It turns out that Neil is doubly upset as he was going to ask Claire to marry him.

ouch Hermione

They break up, and Neil heads to the airport.

Claire runs into James, who once he hears about the breakup, wants the two to start over fresh and build a life together. Claire appreciates his thoughts but tells him the truth about her not being a doctor. She also tells him that a part of her has been believing that he’s her Mr. Darcy.

Which he isn’t as he is totally jerky. Remember their dinner together, where he wouldn’t let her express her opinions?

Jerk

Claire goes to sleep missing Neil and wondering why she thew him away.

missingYou

Uh, Claire let me just remind you that the boy was taking you for granted and waited three days before calling or texting you! Three days! Find someone who really cares about you.

Missy calls Claire the next day and the two have a huge heart-to-heart. Missy tells her how she loves her sister, but truth is Claire has been sacrificing too much of her dreams and goals. Missy is grown now, Claire should be focusing on her own life, needs, desires, etc.

She later runs into Neil, who couldn’t catch a flight, which makes her regret everything even more. She believes that the man next to her is better than Mr. Darcy/James. Of which let me remind you James is nowhere near Mr. Darcy, and if Claire had actually read Pride & Prejudice she would know that. 

Mr. TPride&PrejudicePity

Martin finally presents his topic and it is on courage, the courage that Elizabeth has to reexamine herself and understand her heart.

As she is leaving, James approaches Claire. He tells her that he originally pursued her not because he liked her but because Eleanor told him that she had a copy of the manuscript. He was the one who ransacked her room.

Darcy Wickham Pride&Prejudice

He fell in love with her along the way and hope that they can start completely new and fresh. Claire says thanks, but no thanks. Which good for you, you don’t need a Wickham in your life.

I don't need you

Claire then goes to the Bodleian Library and researches into Austen’s life, finding what she thinks is the key to the change in the Mr. Darcys.

Claire believes that Austen changed from the previous manuscrupt because she actually expereienced what it was like to be poor. She also believes that the Mr. Darcy we love today, was created as to give redemption to the man that broke  her heart and fell short of her ideals. Harriet agrees and gives her the last page.

Elizabeth is visiting her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner in London, and enjoying their time together. She is trying to find a new job when a man arrives to see her, Colonel Fitzwilliam. He comes and tells her that he loves her and wishes to marry her, and that he is willing to stand up to the disagreements of his family. Elizabeth agrees to marry him. They take off to visit Darcy’s friend Bingley, taking along Jane. The End.

So all the author really did in this book was turn Darcy into a cad and reverse which Fitzwilliam had the guts. In the actual book, Colonel Fitzwilliam tells Elizabeth that he likes her but needs a woman with fortune, making sure that she has no hopes pinned on him. In this she has Darcy do it. Yawn.

Nothing about this book was revolutionary to me or that delightful, as Pattillo seemed to be trying to just make money off Jane Austen fans, by twisting one of her classics and taking the characters we adore turning them into strange creatures only seen in stupid low-quality romances.

Mmhm great gatsby

By the way, Claire gives the papers to Harriet, and she returns home set on going to school, getting her degree, and gets back with Neil on the plane.

So I really, really did not enjoy this book. And I do not recommend it for any other Jane Austen fans

It was this bad.

It was this bad.

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For more retellings of Pride & Prejudice, go to The Accidental Bride

For more on works inspired by Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, go to Happy Birthday Pride & Prejudice

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to Cold-Hearted

Avengers Assemble

So I’m sure some of you are wondering what happened to the fandom posts? Why have I stopped doing them?

Well, I wanted to do a post on how great I think Cecilia Gray is. She not only liked my review of her book Fall For You (Jane Austen Academy #1). After that I stopped as I was feeling kind of under the weather.

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I was feeling tired all the time, but that grew into a headache and sore throat. But then on Thursday morning I couldn’t hear out of my right ear.

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That’s it, I need to go to the doctors. I wanted to put it off as I hate doctors, but figured I’d better go and get it looked at.

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I know it takes forever!! So I had to wait, and wait and wait and wait and wait…….

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Finally the nurse saw me and it turned out that I had an ear infection and a fever of 100.3. It was funny as after the nurse took my temperature, she asked me if I knew I had been running around with that high a fever.

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When I was younger I used to get fevers of 103 & 104. 100.3 is nothing.

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So the doctor finally saw me and gave me a prescription and sent me on my way. I had been waiting forever, but the actual time of the doctors was like 10 minutes. How is that fair?

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And then you have to wait an hour for the pharmacy. Yuck.

So there was one big problem with being sick. I had tickets to see the Avengers: Age of Ultron, the midnight showing.

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Oh yeah!

Oh yeah!

But you know what? Being sick wasn’t going to stop me, yep I was going to see that movie even though I had a fever and could hear out of only one ear!

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That’s because I’m a true geek and hardcore fan.

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When I got to the theater, I was the only one in my party. You see, since I’ve moved back home I don’t really see people my age. There was one guy I befriended, but he wanted to move on to dating, and I wasn’t really interested in him. So there was no one else I knew who’d be down for a midnight showing.

When I went to turn in my receipt from buying the ticket online, they guy asked me all shocked like-“only one?”. I felt sooooo embarrassed.

So embarressed

So embarressed

Like Josie in Never Been Kissed when she wants to go on the ferris wheel. It made me feel like a loser.

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But that was short lived as I’m okay being alone.

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And I was really excited to see the movie.

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So now you are probably wondering what I thought of it. There were some things I had a problem with (one particular death of which I won’t say but thought was stupid to have!!!!), but on the whole I loved it and am seeing it again tonight.

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I actually am reserving the rest of my thoughts for a later post. As Tony Stark and Bruce Banner create not one but two creatures, you can argue that this is a horror film, mad scientists creating monsters. So I will be bringing back the Avengers: Age of Ultron in October, during Horrorfest IV.

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For more Avengers, go to Fanning All Over the Place

For more things I’m a fan of, go to Back to the Fandoms

For more of my everyday life, go to A Spot of Trouble

Are You the Dread Pirate Roberts?

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I found this online and loved it! I may not be him, but I will retire wealthy and in my case with a man many women would be jealous of, Cary Elwes (if only). But before I can retire I must ask you one thing:

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You should. It’s a very lucrative career.

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For more on The Princess Bride, go to Fantastic Fantasies

For more on Cary Elwes, go to Redone Done Right

For more quizzes, go to The Biggest Bill You Should Be Paying