Like my okay on Halloween Ends? I don’t care what they say, I know they will make more. When there is money to be made there will always be another sequel or remake.
But enough of that. Here ends another Horrorfest: 31 reviews of films and/or TV episodes that are mysteries, horror, film-noir, suspense, monster movies, thrillers, psycho killers, ghosts, vampires, zombies, mummies, etc.
I only started doing this because I already would watch something for Halloween every day in October (and annoy my friends by doing so); and it was a real easy leap to blog about it. I know some people don’t think I should as it has “nothing” to do with Jane Austen. That may be true, but I do know one character who would enjoy Halloween and Horror films.
I also did my third annual Celebrate Halloween withNorthanger Abbey. And added something new, reading a chapter of Northanger Abbey every day, it’s a perfect countdown to Halloween as it has 31 chapters
And of course our Annual items
A movie or TV episode from every decade from the 1930s-2020s
Jane Austen with Pup Fiction (1997)
Alfred Hitchcock with Marnie (1964)
Animated Film/TV Episode with Over the Garden Wall (2014) & Coco (2017)
Disney with Coco (2017)
Stephen King with Firestarter (2022)
Tim Burton with Beetlejuice (1988)
Vincent Price with The Pit and the Pendulum (1961)
You’re a very bad man. And you keep thinking bad thoughts about me…You mustn’t think bad thoughts or I’ll do the same thing to you.
It’s Friday and time for our TV episode review. For those who are new to Horrofest, a while back I decided to add TV episodes to my 31 Horror reviews and as much as I like the hashtag #tvtuesday I really prefer reviewing them on Friday. So every Friday of the month we will have a creepy or spooky TV episode.
I originally wanted to start the first Friday off with a Jane Austen connection, but I still need to edit that review so we are moving some things around and have a review of one of the absolute best Twilight Zone episodes out there. The way that it is paced, the villain, the imagery, etc. This episode used to freak me out as a child but sent a good kind of shivers up and down my spine.
Creepy…
So for those of you who have never seen it, The Twilight Zone was a TV series that ran from 1959-1964. Every episode was its unique story and they all had to do with the supernatural unusual, strange, alien, etc. It was a great show.
At the beginning of every episode, Rod Serling would do an introduction, and at the end wrap it up with a concluding thought or moral.
It was a fantastic show, and Rod Serling actually wrote most of seasons 1-3, leveling off on seasons 4-5.
The episode is based off of a 1953 short story “It’s a Good Life” by Jerome Bixby and comes from season three (it’s episode eight).
Our story begins in the middle of nowhere, all that is left is a town. The town doesn’t know if the rest of the world disappeared or if the town was removed to somewhere else. All they know is that the only inhabitants can’t leave and it is all because of one person; six-year old Anthony Fremont.
“They have to think happy thoughts and say happy things because once displeased, the monster can wish them into a cornfield or change them into a grotesque, walking horror. This particular monster can read minds, you see. He knows every thought, he can feel every emotion. Oh yes, I did forget something, didn’t I? I forgot to introduce you to the monster. This is the monster. His name is Anthony Fremont. He’s six years old, with a cute little-boy face and blue, guileless eyes. But when those eyes look at you, you’d better start thinking happy thoughts, because the mind behind them is absolutely in charge. This is the Twilight Zone.”
-Rod Serling
Anthony is a child with godlike powers and he can read minds. He is incredibly scary as he is an emotional child who has no real concept of right and wrong and no one can tell him different or else they will wind up dead.
Everything is dwindling, no technology is possible (Anthony won’t let it), and all the people live in constant fear they will upset Anthony, although they try very hard to hide it. Some of the best scene are when they interact with him, as you can see everyone is terrified but trying so to believe what they are saying; “it’s sure good…” in fact The word “good” is repeated 46 times in this episode.
Anthony is a bit lonely and his dad tries to explain why the kids won’t hang out with him, while trying not to upset him. Either Anthony upset the kids by creating monsters he kills and sends to the cornfield; or he does something to the children.
Mr. Fremont: Well, Anthony, you remember the last time some kids came over to play. The little Fredricks boy and his sister.
Anthony Fremont: I had a real good time.
Mr. Fremont: Oh, sure you did, you had a real good time, and it’s good that you had a good time, it’s real good. It’s, uh, just that…
Anthony Fremont: Just that what?
Mr. Fremont: Well, Anthony, you, uh, you wished them away into the cornfield. Their mommy and daddy were real upset.
It’s A Good Life
Every week, Anthony allows one hour of television, but only something he wants to see. Everything comes to a head after the show, when they have a party for one of his parents friends: Dan Hollis.
Birthdays are difficult to hold as gifts are hard to come by and Anthony doesn’t allow any music or singing in the town. Hollis receives two gifts from everyone, a bottle of brandy and a Perry Como record. Hollis wants to listen to the record of his favorite artists, something he desperately misses, but everyone warns him not to. Anthony doesn’t like music.
Hollis starts drinking instead and not only gets drunk, but bold. Hollis sings happy birthday to himself and tired of always pretending snaps. He yells at the group and tells them they should take Anthony out now when they have the chance to.
You see where everyone looks, but all are too afraid. Only Aunt Amy touches the fireplace poker, however she too doesn’t try, also being too scared to take on Anthony.
Anthony gets mad, real mad and turns Hollis into this terrifying Jack-in-the-box; all are scared and beg Anthony to send it into the cornfield.
Compared to today, it’s not the scariest thing out there, but the way it was filmed really upped the horror. Everyone screams and gasps, everyone turns away. They show it to you for a split second and then just the shadow. It terrified me as a kid!
And the most terrifying part of this is, Anthony doesn’t think anything of it-he feels no remorse, horror, tension, etc. It’s just the way things are. A group take Hollis’ wife away as they are worried that she might think something that will end her life (or anger Anthony enough he starts doing terrible things to everyone). Anthony now bored, deciding to make it snow outside. When his father gets angry about the crops being ruined and what will they have to eat, trying to discipline him, he stops himself. Instead telling him
Dan Fremont: it’s good that you’re making it snow, Anthony, – it’s real good. And tomorrow – tomorrow’s going to be a real good day!
“The Good Life” from The Twilight Zone
“…if by some strange chance you should run across him, you had best think only good thoughts. Anything less than that is handled at your own risk, because if you do meet Anthony, you can be sure of one thing: you have entered The Twilight Zone.”
So this year’s theme is “mysteries” in honor of Agatha Christie’s novel The Mysterious Affair at Styles turning 100 years old. To really have this theme be present I decided to review a mystery every month…somehow and ideally connecting it to Jane Austen.
So the first package seemed to be saying that there is something wrong with 27 East Heath Road. The architect, Henry Griggs, had been going crazy trying to finish building the house, after his wife died-using all his money. He even felt as if something was there making him continue, something altering his plans, something controlling him. The house was almost complete, but Griggs has descended into some kind of madness. He ends up putting his daughter in an orphanage and Griggs disappears, presumed dead.
Then in the second package, the house is sold to Dr. Elliot, a physician who likes to experiment on himself with his tinctures.
He has a strange patient, Beth Siggers (could it be ElizaBeth Griggs?) who acts off in his home. He also starts seeing something in his mirror. He died from overdose…or murder?
Hmm…
Then the house was bought by magician’s assistant, Héléne Ashworth and her magician husband The Great Goodyear, Claude Goodyear. They found out about it from her friend, Lilibeth. Helene loves the house, espechially the conservatory as she can grow all her plants. But then strange things happen-other plants are being planted, she starts having trouble remembering, she feels a presence in the house, and she thinks she sees something. She starts searching and dies of fright…or was she murdered?
Hmm…
So now for the third package.
This didn’t come with too many things:
A wooden box that says Elise Face Cosmetiques (the company Héléne Ashworth ordered her stage makeup from)
A demon mask
An article “Haunted Hampstead Heath House of Horror!” from Grime News
A letter from Elizabeth Griggs
A “bloody” hatpin
Three photographs
The blueprints to Griggs’ Estate
So when I got this package the first thing I had to look at was what was in the box-the big thing under the letter and photographs. It was this big, creepy, demon mask thing.
Since then I have put it back in its box as I have no clue what to do with it. It is teriffying.
SUPER creeped
Like 1/4 of me wanted to put it on, but the other 3/4 was terrified that if I did my face would change like in that one Twilight Zone episode, “The Masks”.
So creepy. Put it back in the box!
The letter is from Elizabeth Griggs written to her dead father July 29, 1897
Elizabeth Griggs has finally come into her inheritance and has purchased the one thing she has always wanted, the Griggs Estate. It turns out my suspicions were right! She admits that she created these other personas-Beth Spriggs, Lilibet, the “psychic” Mrs. Alizbeta Divak to protect herself. Now Elizabeth is finally herself and has her home.
Elizabeth shares that she was the one who saw the goblin first and received a letter from it, but her father figured out the clues to decoding it. (So the thing must have already been there-the thing that possessed her father.)
Elizabeth loves being in the house although there were a ton of changes made to it after she was sent to the orphanage and she enjoys every minute of rediscovering “her old friend”.
Haunted house!
The newspaper is an article about another murder in the Griggs estate. It was published September 13, 1987.
Last month London was scandalized by two mysterious and bloody deaths, Miss Elizabeth Griggs (24) was putting on her evening dress when a hideous man in a devilish mask and tattered nightshirt came crashing through the mirror.
Elizabeth had been in the middle of setting her hat and instinctively took the hatpin (that’s where the hatpin comes from!!!) and stabbed him in the throat, but even though she attacked him his body falling forward caused her to crash into the fireplace mantle and she died.
As Henry Griggs lay dying he croaked out “Lizzy! It is you!” (So I Was right, he was hiding in the house all along.)
But even though the two are dead and gone there are still some strange noises, banging, ghastly cries, etc. (It lives!)
Ghosts? Demons?
The blueprints are fascinating as the estate is huge with all kinds of secret hatches and passageways, and the secret language I need to decode.
Wow!
The first photograph is of a man in the mask I now own-Henry Griggs. With more secret writing on the back.
Hmm…what does it say?
The second is of a man dead in a car-the doctor, Dr Elliot! On the back it says:
“His last dose
Friday, February, 12 1892”
The third photograph is of a woman on the bed and a figure in the mirror. But if Griggs is taking the photograph-who’s in the mirror?
On the back it says:
She’ll snoop no more
Monday, January 18, 1897″
It’s Héléne, oh poor Héléne.
Okay, so at this point it is time to decode these messages. I must know the truth!
Mystery, you say?
I just spent three hours decoding this when I realize I did’t read all of Elizabeth’s letter. She has the decoder on the back! Ugh.
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!
I feel so dumb-no I feel like Julie when she didn’t read all the instructions in Jumanji.
Well at least I feel like an awesome decoder person.
DECODING
So I put the quote of what came before the secret message, and then under in bold the decoded message.
“Received in full satisfaction by John W. Peterborough, City Bank Partner from Dr. W. Elliot Fifth day of November in the year of our Lord 1888 does give, grant, bargain, sell, and confirm the property of house, gardens, and environs of the entity of Lot 27 East Heath Road, Hampstead Heath, London, United Kingdom—unto the said Dr. Elliot.”
MY HOUSE, NONE OTHER WILL KEEP IT LONG(Uh, oh-that is not good.)
Baldwin’s Physician’s Guide
Extreme Desespoir Eufferfte Verzweifftung
HAVE I SEEN THIS FACE IN THE MIRROR?
The Chimes by Charles Dickens
“Monsters uncouth and wild, arise in premature, imperfect resurrection; the several parts and shapes of different things are joined and mixed by chance..”
“Haunt and hunt him…”
“Bleak his slumbers…”
“he saw thisWITH Goblin sight…”
“…saw these creatures, not only among sleeping men but waking also…”
I SEE MYSELF EVERYWHERE
Dr. Elliot’s Tincture
You’ve got the right bottle, Doctor.
SWITCHED THEM (Oh, no! That’s how the doctor died!)
Arsenic Poison
Are You Sure?
DONE
Elise Cosmetiques Label
You think to hide yourself from me?
THEIR LAST PERFORMANCE WILL BE MY GREATEST WORK (He must be talking about when he storms in their psychic reading and scares everyone.)
PACKAGE THREE
Griggs’ Estate Blueprints
There are a huge message and then a bunch of little ones. The big message:
THIS HOUSE TOOK MY WIFE, IT TOOK MY DAUGHTER, IT ENTRAPPED MY SOUL. WILL IT EVER LET ME REST?
Now to start with the rooms
Conservatory
PLUCK THEM OUT. POISON
Kitchen
THEY ENCROACH LIKE WEEDS
Dining
INTERLOPERS
Bed room
I AM WATCHING
Hallway/stairs
MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE
Secret Room in Library
WHO IS THE ARCHITECT OF THIS MADNESS
Bedroom
NO ROOM
Bedroom
IN THE WALLS, UNDER THE FLOOR, IN THE BETWEEN, BETWEEN THE SOUL AND THE STAIRCASE
Sunroom
THEY MUST NEVER FIND
Another Secret Room
SANCTUARY
Reading Room
DRIVE THEM OUT
The photograph of Henry Griggs
WHY DO THEY COME
You must act, again
I’VE WATCHED THEM ALL COME AND MADE THEM ALL GO
You have done well.
AM I A GHOST
Only you know what you are
I HAVE MADE MY OWN FACE
You are what you have become
AM I DANGEROUS
Dangerous? Oh Yes
I AM GRIGGS THE GRINNING GOBLIN THE LOATHSOME FIEND THE GRUESOME PHANTOM YOU AND I ARE ONE
Always
THE ONE WHO COMES AND GOES IS IT MY DAUGHTER
She is the last
IF HER FACE LIES SHE WILL DIE LIKE THE REST
One way or the other, I will be free
And it is time to bring out the Demon mask again, *shudders*.
THEY SEE ME THROUGH YOU
If I was a Winchester I know what I would do with all this stuff:
Salt and burn it
But I on the hand will keep everything, because they are cool. Except for the demon mask, I need to find a new home for it.
Three more episodes left and than I am done FOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So if you have been following me you know that I hate this show. I really, really do not like this or how they portray the characters.
That movie
But I started it, so I’ve got to finish it.
So Austentatious is the story of Elinor, Marianne, Emma, Elizabeth, and Mr. Knightley being friends in modern times. But they don’t involve ANY Austen plots or subplots. In fact, besides names they hardly share anything with the original source material.
So in the last episode Elinor and Edward were doing IRS stuff and she is smitten with him, Marianne accidentally dyed herself blue and met Knightley’s friend Nurse Brandon (he chose not to be a doctor big plot point in the previous episode), the friends set Emma up on blind dates to get back at the disastrous dates she paired them with, and Elizabeth had acrylic nails that she hated.
Yes…this is why I don’t like this show.
For the thousandth time
So Edward is back, and he and Elinor have finished getting their IRS stuff all together.
Elinor has a hoodie on, which seems really weird as we spent a large time with her being on Marianne’s case about being a good worker and professional, and she was promoted to be in charge-so why isn’t she dressing professionally?
Elinor is on cloud nine as she loves her IRS man (one of the few people who are happy to see and deal with the IRS). She gets home and Emma and Knighltley are at her house…or is it all their houses? They never make that quite clear and everyone is always in that one apartment.
Weird…
Emma is on break and Knightey is bored. What does he do for a living? He dresses nice but never seems to be doing anything at all…
Elizabeth and Marianne bought an exercise bike and brought it to Elinor’s apartment. So if it is Marianne and Elinor’s apartment why are Emma and Knightley over when she isn’t? Why don’t they go to their houses? I mean I must not be the only one who finds it weird that their friends hang out in their apartment when they aren’t home do I?
I mean if they were going to just use one location then they should have had them share an apartment or a house.
Emma is “working” and wearing a hoodie and ripped jeans? Like what is going on with the clothes today? This whole entire show Emma was a fashionista and as a lawyer always dressing professionally. What is happening here? I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone, more than ever.
Emma: [To Grant Knightley] “What’s the point of having all those muscles if you don’t help a damsel when she’s in distress?”
I actually like that line. One flake of gold in the whole program.
Emma and Elinor leave Elizabeth and Knightley to put it together as they head over to the smoothie shop to “work”. Emma is secretly reading a regular book instead of a law tome, as it turns out she lied to get out of putting the machine together. I knew there was a reason she wasn’t dressed in her usual wear.
Marianne goes to Emma for advice over Elinor and Elinor’s mad, but I don’t blame Marianne for thinking Elinor knows zip. She doesn’t have a great track record, I mean I saw the makeover/date episode.
Elinor complains that they are being loud and distracting as she is working. Well helloooo Elinor you are in a public shop-if you want quiet why don’t you go home and work in your room or go back to the office?
I mean for real!
Lizzie and Grant/Knightley are trying to put the bike together and are seriously struggling. Grant tries to convince Lizzie to get a gym membership like him instead, and Lizzie is surprised that Grant goes once or twice a week to the gym.
Okay that was funny.
Lizzie doesn’t want to go to the gym as they are gross and full of sweaty people, people hog the machines, creepy guys-I feel for you Lizzie, although I don’t have a gym membership as I don’t have time.
Emma can’t stop thinking about the exercise machine is freaking out about her weight and the cupcakes she is eating at the shop. But then she is distracted when Elinor accuses her of manipulating Grant Knightley and that Emma takes him for granted. (She does).
Back at the apartment Grant and Lizzie are talking but Grant is the only one doing anything while Elizabeth is just chilling. That’s how my sister would be.
Grant is struggling and he calls Brandon to help put it together, but doesn’t tell him that he needs his help to put a bike together…a bike that doesn’t even belong to him.
I mean for real!
Marianne comes home and Lizzie is all mad that Marianne bought a take and bake pizza. She’s all why buy a pizza and take it home to cook-well gee Elizabeth maybe I don’t want to take the time to do it myself, maybe I don’t want to travel with my cooked pizza getting cold on the way home, maybe I want to make it when I want to, maybe I want my house to smell of pizza and not pizza grease, maybe I like how it tastes, maybe I got a good deal-I could go on and on with different reasons. Pizza is always good.
It’s times like these I am like we are sooooooo far off what the plot was in any of the books. Like Jane Austen has soooo much for you to work with-and yet you decide to do acrylic nails, exercise bikes, and whether take and bake pizzas are worth your money.
I am so upset right now.
This is awful!
Brandon is so into Marianne, it is soooo cute. This guy, Blake Webb is saving this episode. I don’t know if he read the book or watched an adaption but he is the only one that got his character. You sure are going to make these last few episodes bearable, and I’d appreciate it if you could teach the guy who is Darcy how to act like his character.
Speaking of which there are only three episodes left (including this one) and we have yet to resolve the Darcy house issue, Brandon and Marianne need to get together, Elinor and Edward need to get togther, and Emma and Knightley need to match up. There are a lot of loose ends and only 50 mins until resolution (I paused 10 in and each episode is 20 mins). And what about Collin, is he coming back too?
Or plot!
So back to the Smoothie Shop Elinor admits to Emma she really likes Edward and all I can think is what about Lucy? In fact what about Fanny Dashwood, Lady Catherine, Mr. Wickham, Mr. Willoughby, Frank Churchill, Jane Fairfax, etc.? Where are the villains and character foils? Where is the drama? Where is the comedy? Where are the components of Jane Austen we love, her giant tapestry of plots and characters, and so on.
Where are the Austen things and characters I love??!!
I am extremely disappointed.
UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Like in the Jane Austen Academy they kept the issues from the books and transferred them to the story. Instead of losing her home-Anne lost her school that her ancestors had founded, Elizabeth is sparring with Darcy, Fredrick Wentworth is back in town, you know….
Elinor wants to date Edward but isn’t sure as they wok together-but they don’t, not really. I mean Elinor is an accountant and he’s with the IRS so you do not work together and it won’t be breaking any rules.
Seriously
Emma encourages Elinor, trying to get her to ask Edward out, but Elinor says she physically can’t. We then get a flashback of her being geeky and struggling. I think she looks cute with glasses on, glasses that we never ever see her wear again. Hello actors and actresses that’s not how glasses work. Even if you do wear contacts, you eventually have to wear glasses again or else you’ll mess up your eyes. And what’s wrong with having a character wear glasses. We defintely need more characters who wear them.
So Lizzie and Marianne are not helping at all, while the guys do all the work. Brandon is so into Marianne, still being cute. Grant/Knightley is like you don’t know that much about Marianne are you sure and Brandon is all I know her medical history (last episode). Whoever wrote his lines- you get a gold star, you are actually getting some laughs out of me.
Knightley/Grant is the one doing all the work, while Brandon is distracted by Marianne. Knightley/Grant is like dude just ask her out so we can get this torture machine put together and Brandon is all no, I need her to get to know me first. Awww, Brandon you are actually making watching this bearable. Too bad you weren’t here earlier.
Soooo cute!!!!
Grant/Knightley is all it’s better to ask someone out and be possibly turned down then to become a friend and stuck in the friendzone. Hmm…who could he be talking about?
The pizza burns as Lizzie and Marianne were too bust talking right next to it and didn’t notice, or smell it, and Lizzie is all that’s why you should never make or bake pizza at home. Whatever. How did they not notice it, being right next to the oven? How could they with the vast amount of choices and plots to use decide to focus on take and bake pizzas.
Back to the Smoothie Shop, Elinor “I’m working stop distracting me” Dashwood is going on about how she wants Edward to ask her out. Girl you have two episodes left, better get to asking.
Elinor can’t move in that but decides to flat out tell Emma Grant is into her.
Like that wasn’t your secret to tell Elinor. And Emma is actually shocked at this. Really?
I present Exhibit A:
And let’s not forget his massaging you, paying for the food, tipping Marianne and making her look good at work because Emma told him to, putting the exercise bike together as Emma told him too, etc.
Mr. Knightley loves Emma
Elinor gets all psychoanalyzing Emma and Knightley, but they are interrupted when Elinor spots Edward at the smoothie shop.
Look at that guy…
Emma encourages Elinor to not hide behind the couch but go ask him out. I’m going to pause here and say I do NOT get why in movies do they always hide behind or underneath things when they spot someone they want to avoid. Who really would hide under a restaurant table or other things in public where is it dirty and you are sure to touch something you would rather not. Why not just make sure they only see the back of your head.
I mean for real!
Edward has like button up shirt and pants from circa 2005 there. Where did you get those, and put them back in their time machine please and thank you.
It’s not working for you. Those pants, that shirt…
Edward is there WITH A girl!!!
Is it Lucy? Are we finally getting some actual Jane Austen content???
Please, oh please!
Back at the apartment they are eating the burnt pizza, although I’m thinking why don’t they just order a new one.
The girls eat ice cream while the guys build the bike.
Poor Grant, he’s all sweaty and tired from doing 99% of the work. Poor dude. And all because you’ll do anything Emma tells you to do.
Poor Elinor is sad and depressed and Emma tries to cheer her up by saying maybe the girl is Edward’s sister and they are just creepy close. Really, Emma? Really?
Like HOW would that make her feel better? HOW? But this is so true, us women do this to each other all the time.
Grant Knightley takes a break and talks to Marianne, who decides to ask him for help with her guy problem. He tries to encourage her to not try to focus on making changes for guys but do changer herself only if she wants to do it. That instead she just needs to be herself. Aw, that’s cute. Even though I am sad/upset that there is no Fanny Price, Catherine Morland, Anne Elliot, Mr. Tilney, or Captain Wentworth I do like how Grant/Mr. Knightley is friends with everyone and counsels not just Emma but all the ladies. It is very cute and very well done.
How sweet!
The bike is finally put together, Emma tests it out, and it falls apart. Yes…that’s it. All that work for nothing. It’s supposed to be funny, but falls flat.
So where is the Jane Austen?!!! It’s like not even here, just a few drops. Why? Why? There is so much you could do, choose from, there is just so much…and this is what you came up with.
Why?
I can’t wait until I’m finally finished with this. Then I’ll be freeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
“We think we’ve got all the time in the world, but how much time has the world got?”
While I remember all of Planet of the Apesas I have seen it a gazillion times, and the others as they had very memorable scenes. This film I remember zero about this other than them running with their baby. I don’t know why…
Hmmm
Oh well, it will be interesting to see whether this improves over its predecessor. At least it won’t have Brrrent in it.
Beneath the Planet of the Apes did such a great job monetary wise and even though they pretty much blew up the planet, the studio heads wanted another sequel-logic be darned.
JUST DO IT!!!
You have to admit it was pretty creative to have the apes escape (Cinemasins would say roll credits) in Taylor’s plane that they managed to fix. On one hand Cornelius was very interested in it and the human belongings they found in Planet of the Apes, and I could see them tooling around with it. But then on the other hand how? If you look at ThePlanet of the Apes’ society they have no electronics, no cars, no planes, etc-how would they know how to do anything with a spaceship? I mean they still operate on horseback or buggy.
It seriously doesn’t make any sense, but whatever.
We open up on the ocean like in the last film (it actually was the same beach they filmed the end of the first film). But this is our (1970s) time as there is a helicopter going over the ocean and it finds a rocket.
What?
I don’t know why but this makes me think if KIng Kong (1976) when Jessica Lange is floating in a boat. I don’t know why, it’s something about the way the scene was shot. That was a disappointing movie. That girl.
Anyways, sorry. So of course they call the military in, why not? Even the general comes out. I know it is a really big deal, but you think the general would wait to make sure it wasn’t going to kill him.
They open up and we see three astronauts-like in the first film-in US gear. But then they take their helmets off and we see they are apes.
AWESOME!!!! All are in shock and agog!!!!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! And Roddy McDowell is Back!!!! YAY!!!!
Right away you are hooked.
This is a big improvement over Brrrent (you have to say his name in disgust).
And we get a musical score in this film-more spyish than scifi.
This opening is awesome, the military moving them along, and all are like what the heck is going on?
And the makeup looks great again.
They put them with the other animals in the zoo. Oh the irony, like how Taylor was treated in Planet of the Apes. But he was supposed to be ironic is this double irony?
So the military are completely shocked. Some are talking to them like they are human, others think of them as animals. It’s perfect, they are completely befuddled.
So they give them an orange to eat, as apes like oranges. I just love the way Cornelius stares at the guy to get more than one orange.
Jut going to give me one for the three of us?
They all sit and eat at the table, cutting their oranges open and peeling them.
Its perfect! We are barely into the film and I am just loving it. They had some class a writers working on it this time. That last script-what a joke.
The vet tries to take care of the animals but the way that he treats the animals isn’t flying with the chimps. Just like in the first movie!
After he leaves they start talking, they are worried and unsure what happened-but the third ape who we have no clue who he is explains that they must have gone back in time-to Taylor’s time?
This third ape cautions them not to talk and to act like humans (at least the ones in their time) as they are stuck in the LA zoo.
So in the new one they make them ape sized. I like that in these films they are human sized-it should make it obvious to these doctors that they are different, but they are just clueless humans.
So two scientists are sent to come in and study the apes. The human equivalent of Cornelius and Zira, OMgosh this had great writing!
The doctors come in and this is great, this is a total call back to the original when they were studying Taylor.
They start testing them with those ape tests they do.
This male doctor geez, its glorious to watch Zira trounce them. I can hear her thinking I have a PhD and you don’t think I can match colors. She’ s smug and sassy-perfect just like in the original.
They hang a banana in to test them, but Zira passes by building a staircase to get the banana. And then she speaks!
The female doctor , Dr. Stephanie Branton faints.
So Dr. Zira is seriously angry at how they are being treated, and I get it as I would too, but its like you guys all treated Taylor the same way. Maybe you should remember the advice you gave him.
They get really upset and so does the neighboring gorilla and it kills Dr. Milo (the third ape). Oh gee, it is super sad to lose someone we know zero about.
So the male doctor, Dr. Lewis Dixon, decides it is best for him to see the apes alone. I guess she can’t handle it.
WOW! That’s how we are going to play it? Why does the woman have to be the fainter??
So Dr. Zira and Cornelius speak to Dr. Dixon-who also happens to be an animal psychiatrist. Dr. Zira and Cornelius tell Dr. Dixon they like him, but can they trust him?
Hmm…
No you can’t trust man because they destroy what they fear and they fear you.
So there is a cabinet meeting with the president and his important people, about the ship that left only a few years ago with Colonel Taylor has been returned to them with three apes.
Colonel, that’s weird. I don’t remember them calling him colonel in the first film. Maybe he was promoted posthumously?
The president decides to have a meeting with the press the next day and to share this discovery with the world. We then switch to broadcasts around the globe and I like that the second country we see sharing the news is France as a french author wrote the book.
So all the humans are going crazy over this and the apes aren’t having an easy time either.
“Dr. Lewis Dixon: Be yourself.
Dr. Cornelius: Be your better self Zira.”
Oooo, yeah. I could see Zira just blasting everybody verbally.
Alright so they are going to have a meeting. Only bad can come from this, I’ve seen enough movies.
Dr. Dixon shares that the chimpanzees can talk and will answer questions. As the hearing starts, this is so like the first one, when they were questioning Taylor, just inside out. I love it!!!!
Chairman of the President’s Committee of Inquiry: [testing Lewis’s assertion that the apes can speak] What is your name?
Dr. Zira: Zira.
Chairman of the President’s Committee of Inquiry: One might as well be talking to a parrot.
Dr. Zira: A parrot?
Chairman of the President’s Committee of Inquiry: What did I tell you? Mechanical mimicry. Unique in an ape, vocally, without a doubt, but… does the other one talk?
Cornelius: Only when she lets me.
Dr. Milo, who conveniently died, was the one who actually salvaged and flew the plane…Really…So they can’t answer any questions about that. Unfortunately, Dr. Zira lets the cat out of the bag that they are from he future.
Now things will really get really grim!
That’s not good.
They ask about Colonel Taylor, but they say they are unsure who they speak of. I’m surprised they didn’t ask after Brent, but maybe they didn’t like him either and would rather forget him.
He’s unimportant.
Dr. Zira wants to tell the doctors the whole truth about the future as she doesn’t have the skill to lie nor does she care to. They reveal that they did know Taylor and cared for them. They share how they treat humans in their world, Dr. Branton is disgusted, but the Dr. Dixon gets hit with that fact that that is how they treat apes his time.
They reveal that when they left, they saw the planet blow up.
That’s not good.
So the white house lead scientist, Dr. Otto Hasslein (a callback to the first film when the one astronaut uses the Hasslein theory to talk about time travel) goes on a show and they discuss what happened. He believes they are from the future as thats the only explanation he finds possible.
He tries to explain it, but it is still really confusing, I mean I get it, but I think there would have been an easier way to do it, espechially as you are supposed to make it easy to understand for the viewers at him.
Meanwhile, the Apo-nauts are watching the report on TV and are given couches and chairs. They are amazed at TV as their culture does’t have any.
What is it?
So that brings me back to my original point-how did Dr. Milo know how to do anything with a rocket?
It doesn’t make any sense!
The apes are moved from the Zoo to a hotel, but isn’t it just a nicer looking prison? Like that Twilight Zone when Roddy McDowell is take from the jail to the house but it really is a zoo.
Anyways, they check out the hotel which is unlike anything they have ever seen before. Then they are taken along to see the sights in LA. You know-fitted for new clothes to match society, checking out the sights, etc.
This is all nice, but I have seen A LOOOT of movies and read A LOOOT of books. So I know this is actually-not good. All it takes is for one person to screw up this happy sweet montage. I give you as proof-Mighty Joe Young, Fantastic Four, Teen Wolf, etc.
Everyone is amazed-talking to them, quoting, treating them like stars, etc. It actually reminds me of that Ray Bradbury story when the humans welcome the aliens and give them liquor, a parade, etc. From The Illustrated Man.
They have their whole days planned out, trotting our here and there. Dr Zira at a women’s club speaking of women’s rights, Cornelius going to a prizefight and not liking it at all, etc. They are taking Dr. Zira to the Museum of Natural History and explaining everythig to her on science. Yawn, she knows this. Just wait until she sees the taxidermied apes. This is like when Taylor saw his friend in the zoo-actually Taylor’s was worse. At least Zira didn’t know that ape.
She faints:
Curator: [in the museum, Zira sees a giant stuffed gorilla and faints] It must have been the shock!
Dr. Zira: [reviving] Shock, my foot… I’m pregnant!
Dr. Hasslein is the one helping her and brings her home to rest. He gives her wine, a lot and does it to get information out of her. He questions her and she reveals the destruction of the planet. Then nods off.
The scientist goes to the President, but the President doesn’t really care. He thinks that first of all-this will be happening thousands of years in the future. And second, he sees no point in killing three innocent lives. The scientist wants to kill them now, and keep them from destroying the world.
Dr. Otto Hasslein: [Regadring Zira, Cornelius & their baby] They must be killed… it has to be done and done quickly, before they start a stone rolling that’ll gather enough poison moss to kill us all!
The president cares more about votes and is actually a pretty great leader wanting time to think and plan and focus on what to decide what to do next. The scientist wants to destroy not just these apes, but all apes to protect our world.
Never trust a doctor, that’s what I say. Except if he is played by Michael Rennie and of course Zira and Cornelius.
The scientist does convince him to allow him to interrogate them further and they are moved to Camp 11. The Dr. Dixon goes to, as does Dr. Branton. Dr. Branton is kind of a useless character-she does nothing and says nothing. Like why don’t give her some lines or something to do.
WOW! That’s how we are going to play it?
They try to interrogate the apes, but they get nowhere. So they switch gears-they get Cornelius heated by calling the two monkeys. He shares that he suspects that something man created is the one that actually hurt the planet.
But eventually Cornelius decides to share what they learned from the historical records.
A plague comes and all the dogs and cats fall sick and die or have to be destroyed. But man can hurt man, but man hates to hurt his pets. Man also does not like to be alone and adopted apes as pets.
Cornelius: By the time the plague was contained, man was without pets. Of course, for man this was intolerable. I mean, he might kill his brother, but he could not kill his dog!
They share that apes were adopted to be pets, but so easily learned and mimiced humans-soon they were trained to do a few things. Then they were turned into slaves!
Cornelius: They became alert to the concept of slavery. And, as their numbers grew, to slavery’s antidote which, of course, is unity. At first, they began assembling in small groups. They learned the art of corporate and militant action. They learned to refuse. At first, they just grunted their refusal. But then, on an historic day, which is commemorated by my species and fully documented in the sacred scrolls, there came Aldo. He did not grunt. He articulated. He spoke a word which had been spoken to him time without number by humans. He said ‘No.’ So that’s how it all started.
So it is a little odd as in the first film no one knew anything about humans-but here Cornelius acts as if this is something that has been taught to all ape babies.
Now on one hand, in the second film the chimps were in trouble for helping Taylor, but Zauis does leave all Apedom in their control if he does not return from trying to take the human land. Maybe he let them look at the historical scrolls?
Hmmm…
They the start grilling Zira, but get nowhere. They then call Dr. Dixon and ask him to drug Zira so she will answer the questions.
Cornelius becomes upset and they force him to leave.
They wish to inject her with a truth serum and want Dr. Dixon to betray her.
Dr. Dixon injects her- YOU JUDAS! You should have stood up to them. See never trust a doctor in a horror film.
The doctor tries to remove him, but Dixon stays to make sure they don’t do anything worse to her. She revels everything-the studying the humans, the bomb, how they treat humans, etc.
The scientist sends the recordings to the commission, but that scientist is a jerk. He did that on purpose!
But life is not fair.
They decide to give Dr. Zira an abortion to try and stall the coming of ape domination and then make it so they can never have children again!
What horrible people!!!
Dr. Zira is happy that she doesn’t have to lie anymore, but Cornelius knows that things are going to go bad.
Dr. Zira finally tells Cornelius she is pregnant and he’s done.
Cornelius rushes at the orderly who brings their meal, knocks him out, and they escape out the window.
It’s amazing no one thought to put a guard on the door, but then again they keep thinking they are dumb, instead of scientists.
These humans
They escape, but Zira goes into labor. The scientists discover them missing and fan out searching.
Cornelius decides to go back and get help.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
They think that it would be better to get in trouble at least the baby would be born. But no Cornelius, they are going to kill your baby!!!!!!!!
Cornelius overhears them saying that he killed the orderly, but how? All he did was knock a tray into his face. How did he die. He didn’t even hit a wall or anything. This sounds like a means to the end of the film, more than anything else.
Cornelius gets Dr. Branton-who finally!
Finally!
She finally has a part to play. She picks him, Zira, and Dr. Dixon-and all go to the circus, run by Armando (Ricardo Montalban). I just LOVE him. Many of you will recognize him as he the grandpa in Spy Kids and Khan in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
The couldn’t do this today as they have outlawed all animals in circuses. The apes would all just have to die.
They have the baby and name him Milo afer their lost collegue. Well gee, it was great that this ape meant so much to them but we know zip bout him. Why not name him after Lucius?
Armando wanted to take them with him to Florid, as they go in a month, but can’t with the scientists and army searching everywhere. He sends them on their way, but gives them his medal of Saint Francis, patron saint of the animals.
They go to see Heloise, his chimp who gave birth to a baby chimp a week earlier. The two stare at each other and the babies.
The doctors give them supplies and a map. Dr. Dixon asks him if he can read a map
Dr. Lewis Dixon: Can you read a map?
Cornelius: I’m an archaeologist. I can even draw one!
They send them out to the ship graveyard to hide for a week, and them hopefully they will have moved on and the the circus can smuggle them to Florida.
Cornelius knows that they will be killed if discovered, and asks for something to end their lives before they are tortured ad murdered.
This film took a dark turn.
They kiss them goodbye and run off into the night.
The police search the circus, but find no sign of the apes. And Armando annoys them enough to leave. Dr. Hasslein is having a complete and utter breakdown as the apes cannot be found. Like he is spiraling out of control, even more than usual.
You’re crazy! Crazy, am I? We’ll see whether I’m crazy or not.
They drop the clothes off by oil riggers to throw them off and scent. The next day the police and miltary search everywhere and find the discarded suitcase. But no apes.
Dr. Hasslein searches along with a gun. He aims to shoot to kill.
He ends up finding them at the shipyard. How I’m not quite sure-I mean as apes it isn’t the likeliest or best place for them. And LA is ginormous-I’m amazed they found them so quickly.
Meanwhile, on the ship two Cornelius and Zira are carrying on trying to find a way to make this a comfortable living situation-when unbeknownst to them death stalks the yard in the shape of Dr. Hasslein.
They try to hide as the military sends in chopper, but the deck is stacked against them. We know how this will end…in death!
Dr. Hasselein kills the baby and shoots Zira, but Cornelius gets him!
You get him Cornelius
Cornelius is shot by a sniper and all are dead.
But back at the circus we see Heloise and her baby Cesar, but the baby is not Heloise’s Cesar but Zira’s Milo. The two switched babies!!!! After all John Conner Milo is needed to start a revolution. Armando knows this, and we end with baby Milo talking.
Yes, like in The Terminator, you can’t stop what is to come.
janeaustenrunsmylife 