Gypsy Justice: Thinner (1996)

Justice, ain’t about bringing back the dead, white man. Justice, is about justice. Your friend the policeman, your friend the judge, they make sure nothing happen to you. They keep you safe. But I make sure something happen to them. That justice, white man. Gypsy justice!

It’s that time of the year again. Our annual Stephen King Post. Now some of his film’s I do like, The Secret Window, Children of the Corn, The Shining, etc. Thinner is not one of them.

Now this doesn’t have all the usual tropes:

But it is kind of a lame story. Let’s get started before I give too much away.

So Billy Halleck is an obese lawyer.

{Now the film is set in modern times, I just felt like using an old photo from a previous post.} Anyways, he lives with his wife Heidi and their daughter Linda. Heidi tries to get him to stop eating:

Heidi Halleck: Billy, you’ve got to stop eating like that. I want you to stop digging your grave with a spoon and fork.

But Billy can’t stop, he loves food too much.

Billy has just helped a Mafioso, Richie, get off from going to prison. Something his wife also finds fault in him.

Meanwhile, in the town Billy lives in, there is a carnival, one which is run by gypsies. One day his wife is distracting him, by doing oral sex, and he hits and kills a gypsy woman.

You need to leave gypsy women alone. They can lay some serious curses.

This gypsy woman, however, dies instantly. The death is ruled an accident and no charges filed. The dead woman’s 106 year old father, Taduz Lempke, is angry that Billy got off so easily and curses him, saying to him “Thinner”.

So Billy keeps losing more and more weight. No matter what he eats, he keeps getting thinner and thinner.

He’s getting emaciated, almost as thin as this guy.

Heidi calls in a doctor, Dr. Mike Houston, who can’t find anything to help him. So the doctor decides to help himself to Billy’s wife.

Billy enlists the help of Richie and they begin to wage a war on the gypsies. Billy’s friend, the Judge who let him off, also gets cursed, “Lizard”. He commits suicide as he can’t stand looking at himself anymore. It all comes to a head when Richie kidnaps Taduz’s granddaughter, Gina, intending to kill her, but stopped by Bill.

Taduz finally agrees to lift the curse, but only if they promise to leave him and his family alone. With Billy’s agreement, Taduz makes a pie from Billy’s blood. Whoever eats the piewill die, and Billy will gain more weight.

Taduz tells Billy he should eat the pie himself, and die honorably, but Billy has decided that this pie is going toward the people he wants revenge on.

In this case it is fattening as it will help Billy gain weight.

He calls his daughter and tells her that he is doing better and she should spend the night at a friend’s house. He then goes home and gives the pie to his cheating wife.

That night he puts the rest of the pie in the fridge and goes to sleep. The next day he wakes up and Heidi is dead.

AWESOME!!!

But when he goes downstairs he discovers that Linda has eaten some of the pie. That means in his quest of selfishness, to get revenge on his wife and her lover, he has just killed his own daughter.

He decides to head the gypsies advice and eat the pie, killing himself, when the doorbell rings. It’s the Dr. Houston, the man his wife was having an affair with!

Billy then decides to give this doctor the pie and complete his revenge.

Billy Halleck: Dr. Mikey! A bit early for a house call, isn’t it?

Dr. Mike Houston: Oh, Billy! It’s- it’s not what you think! I…

Billy Halleck: It’s okay, Dr. Mikey. I was acting like kind of a big jerk. But, everything’s fine with Heidi, I’m even starting to gain a little weight. In fact, I was just about to dig into this breakfast pie. Care to join me?

Dr. Mike Houston: I couldn’t possibly…

Billy Halleck: Oh, it’s no trouble at all…

[Dr. Mike Houston enters the house]

Billy Halleck: …white doctor from town [chuckles and shuts door]. 

Yeah, he seemed to get over the fact he killed his own daughter pretty quickly. What a jerk.

So yeah, I didn’t like it. I thought it was boring, the main character unlikable, and I hated the fact that He KILLS his daughter he supposedly doted on and had an incredible bond with, and a second later he’s over it and planning revenge. A true dud King, a true dud.

To start Horrorfest IV from the beginning, go to You Cannot Conquer It. It Has Conquered You!: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

For the previous post, go to I Do Think You Are Confused, Mrs. Bowman: Dangerous Crossing (1953)

For more Stephen King films, go to There’s Nothing Out There. Nothing in the Mist: The Mist (2007)

For more on gypsies, go to Beast or Man: The Wolfman (2010)

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

So I don’t know about you all but my family actually cuts down our Christmas Tree. We always go the day after Thanksgiving to the black friday sales, and then a few hours to the forest to cut down our tree.

Now some of you may wonder why we would go through so much trouble? Why not buy a fake one? Well I’ll tell you why:

1) The permit to cut down a tree only costs $10. That means you can get as big a tree you want for only ten bucks! For instance we got a 12 foot tree for 5% of the cost of  buying one from a lot.

2) Cutting down your Christmas tree is very good for the environment.

 I know many of you have just read that and are probably saying to yourselves this girl is stupid, but just hear me out. You see trees grow in clumps and while that is a great thing as they share resources, protect each other, pollinate each other, etc. However, at times this can be bad. Sometimes trees grow too close together that they are unable to get their share. Often times one, or all, the trees will die as there isn’t enough to go around. Cutting down your own Christmas tree from one of the clumps means that one side might be a little thinner (you just aim that side in the corner) and it helps the other trees grow big and strong. Also periodically clearing out sections of trees protects them in the summer when there are threats of forest fires. And of course, this cutting isn’t a free for all. You can only cut from certain sections, therefore protecting a wider majority of trees. You also have restrictions on the tree size. Your trunk can only have a diameter of 6 inches and there is a restriction of high the stump can be. These regulations keep older trees protected, along with making sure people are not cutting off the tops and leaving the rest of the tree.

That’s a lot!

3) Cutting your own tree means that it will last longer. You see one of the biggest problems with tree lots is that these trees are cut at the end of November, shipped over to the city they will be sold, and hanging around on pavement until they are sold. They are not getting the same TLC or water and a lot of them die really early, shedding tons of pine needles along the way. Now when you cut your own tree, it is nice and fresh and lasts much, much longer. As I said we always get our tree at the end of November and take it down at the end of January. We could keep it up longer, but usually by February we are packing up our Christmas stuff. Besides longevity, it also smells absolutely wonderful.

And with cutting down your tree there are always adventures. Three years ago I went with my parents and we brought my two nieces, my nephew, and our dog. We hiked all over the area in the snow looking for the perfect tree.

We finally found it and my dad cut it down using a manpowered saw rather than a chainsaw. I tried to help him but it was hard work and both of us were pooped. He was really tired so I had him rest and had to carry that tree on my own. Let me say, I’m never doing that again. It was sooo heavy! I don’t know how I was able to carry it even for a minute.

After my dad’s rest we finished moving the tree to the truck. After that I had to carry the three kids as the snow embankments had grown larger, and they wouldn’t be able to make it out. Yep, every time I feel like something is too hard, difficult, or heavy, I just remind myself that I carried a tree down a mountainside. I rule!

And this year wasn’t any duller. There was no snow as we’ve been suffering some strong dry spells, but we still had a lot of fun hiking up and down the mountainside for that perfect tree. When we found it we cut it down (using a chainsaw this time) and started to head down the mountainside. Now, we’ve been doing this since I was like 13, but this year something happened that had never happened before.

As we started down the hill trying to bring the tree to the truck, my dad yelled at us to turn the tree as he wanted the weaker side pointed to the ground as that side was to lay in the flatbed. As we turned the tree, BAM! SMACK!

The tree branches kept smacking me in the face. And when I mean kept, I meant it didn’t stop. I guess it was the section of the tree I was in, but I couldn’t see a thing, just branches and branches smacking me in the face.

I felt as if it was like in The Wizard of Oz when the trees come to life and start smacking Dorothy.

It was almost like it was mad at me for me cutting it down.

When we got home we got it out of the truck and was taking it into the house and had to turn the tree again. Now this time I had stood on the opposite side of the tree, hoping that would keep it from hitting me, but now once again tree slap.

Hair everywhere, I can’t see a thing, I’m afraid my glasses might get knocked off and go flying, and I am praying so hard that I do not fall in our pool.

Luckily we get it in the stand and straighten it out. And boy does it look lovely. It kind of makes up for the abuse it gave me.

Now my abuse from the tree branches doesn’t end there. Oh, no! You see after I graduated and interned this summer; I moved back home. I’ve been trying to find a job, but this is pretty much what it is like.

So to fill the time until I am hopefully hired, I am volunteering at quite a few places. One of which is my local museum. So last week I headed down there as it was my turn to work the desk. I brought with me some pine clippings from our tree as the museum was decorating for Christmas. Well it turned out that they didn’t have as many volunteers as they hoped, so they asked me to help with the decorating. I thought okay, it will be fun.

So I thought decorating meant we were going to hang ornaments on the tree.

We were making these giant wreaths.

So I was paired with one of the volunteers and let me just stop and share something with you. Most of the volunteers at the museum are older, like 60+. So the woman I had wasn’t the most helpful. You see you take branches of the tree and put them on a plastic doughnut, tying them down with string or wire as you go along. Adding more and more branches until it is filled. However, that’s not what happened here. My helper laid tons of branches down and then sat down as she couldn’t tie them on. I tried to tie the branches down, but the wreath slipped and they all went crashing to the floor.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Yep, I had to do everything over, but this time I did it right. As I continued, more people came and helped out which was nice. It was a really hard process though as it had rained for the past three days, and all their tree clippings were soaked, making the already hard job of trying to tie them down even harder!

Replace Rothbart with wreath

Finally we had completed it and I was tired. It’s a lot of bending over and being pricked/stabbed by the wire and tree branches. I sat down for a bit but then had to move on to making garland.

OMG it was so hard. You have a piece of rope and have to twist tie the branch to the rope. Yep, those flimsy little twisty ties. IT TAKES FOREVER! You keep placing branches over and over each other to make it fuller and until you cover the rope. This is extremely hard. At times I was trying to use one of those flimsy things to tie three branches together! And because a lot of people had to leave, I had to do it all on my own. By one fourth of the way I wanted to burn the thing.

We had a time limit to this as at noon the county was sending over free labor and the right machine to hang this things high up on the walls. So when every team completed theirs and saw I wasn’t even at the halfway point they all descended on me to help out.

Now you think this would have been nice, and it would have if it was one or two, but there were like five trying to take over the tying or telling me what to do. It made me feel kind of surly:

But I just kept to myself, trying to be professional.

After that my shift was over and I headed home, bearing more battle wounds that those brought on by the slapping tree. My hands were covered in cuts and they hurt sooo bad, my back was aching from bending over, my feet were sore from standing, etc. But hey beauty is pain, and the place sure did look amazing!

Merry Christmas!

For more on Christmas trees, go to On the  7th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Christmas, go to the 25 Films of Christmas

For more moments of my every day life, go to How Can This Be?

For more on the Wizard of Oz, go to My Favorite Movie Lines

For more of my favorite songs, go to Fantastic Fantasies

For more of my favorite quotes, go to When in Doubt

He Who Walks Behind the Rows: Children of the Corn (1984)

And He Who Walks Behind The Rows did say, “I will send outlanders amongst you: a man and a woman. And these outlanders will be unbelievers and profaners of the holy. 

So first let me start off and say Happy Halloween everyone. And with this posts ends our Horrorfest II. When writing these it is always hard to pick the first and last films. I want to start this countdown off on a high note, and always end with a bang (I mean who doesn’t?) I also was trying to pick a film that had something to do with Halloween, and this one does. For those of you who have seen it, the special child’s birthday just happens to be Oct 31st. It says so on the scroll.

Well let’s commence our swan song.

So Children of the Corn is one super creepy movie. I mean first of all it is Stephen King, and his stuff is always freaky (even Stand By Me). I mean you’ve got Carrie, The Shining, Creepshow, Cujo, Christine, Pet Sematary, Misery, Thinner (so gross!), The Green Mile, Secret Window (a Horrorfest post), It, and The Mist . 

This has got to be one of the creepiest and one of his most sequelfied films. I mean you have:

• Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest, Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering, Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror, Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return, Children of the Corn: Revelation, and Children of the Corn: Genesis

So Children of the Corn was based on a short story, and while that is creepy, the movie was super scary.

So the film starts off really creepy with all these hand drawn pictures and a creepy child’s choir.

We then go into a little boy’s narration of what has happened to his town. The boy, Job, lives in a little agricultural town in Nebraska. He tells the viewer about how things haven’t been going as well, as there have been a lot of failed harvests. He also tells the viewer about this kid Jacob, who came to town one day and takes the children out to the cornfields. Job’s not allowed to go out there because his dad thinks Jacob’s creepy. (Totally agree with the dad, Jacob looks like one creepy guy.) Job is chilling with his dad after church in the soda shop, his mom is at home taking care of his sick sister,  when Jacob’s right hand man Malachi comes in with some other kids. When Jacob gives the signal, they take out all the adults, all over the town. It is uber creepy and it makes me think of “Zero Hour” by Ray Bradbury

Evil look

I mean it is pretty gruesome with the scythes and everything.  Job’s sister Sarah starts having these visions and draws them out when she is “moved”. Everything she draws comes true.

Three years later, we have couple Burt and Vicky. Vicky is Linda Hamilton.

LINDA HAMILTON!

As soon as I saw her I was like, oh yeah this is going to be good.

So she and Burt are headed West to Seattle as Burt just graduated medical school and is taking a job there. Vicky is hoping for a proposal, but no dice. 😦 Poor girl.

So as they are traveling toward the town, someone is trying to escape it. There are only three children who don’t follow Jacob and his law. Job, he doesn’t get Jacob and what he is preaching; Sarah, and Joseph who wants to escape. He tries to leave, promising Job and Sarah that he will be back with help.

He tries to run, but every way he goes the corn goes in his path. It’s moving!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is followed by Malachi and his goons. Eventually they find him and attack.

Isaac: And He Who Walks Behind The Rows did say, “I will send outlanders amongst you: a man and a woman. And these outlanders will be unbelievers and profaners of the holy. And the man will sorely test you, for he has great power, even greater than that of the Blue Man!

Corn-Children: The Blue Man! Yes, the Blue Man!

Isaac: And just as he was offered up unto Him, so shall be the unbelievers!

Malachai: Make sacrifice unto Him! Bring Him the blood of the outlanders!

Corn-Children: Praise God; praise the Lord! Praise God! Praise the Lord…!

Burt and Vicky are making their way down the road, when Joseph darts out of the cornfield, his last action before he fully croaks. Unfortunately, Burt hits him and he becomes involved in finding the child help and his family. Even when they try to escape they can’t, because He Who Walks Behind the Rows controls the corn and the weather and will not let them escape.

It is a great movie that you need to watch for yourself, I cannot ruin the ending. One of the ultimate creepy things is that you have no idea who He is and what He looks like. Also Malachi is one psychotic dude. Just try to ignore some of the bad ’80s CGI. To watch the movie go here.

 Here’s a cover page I made for facebook this year as part of my countdown to Halloween.

So that’s it for Horrorfest II. I wish you all a safe holiday full of sweets! May it be everything you wish. 😀