So I don’t know about you but I used to love to fly. I thought it was so cool going up in the air, having the little snacks, and arriving at your destination in less time than it would take to drive. I used to love it.
That was before 9/11. After that flying was no longer fun.
Yes it is long lines, long security protocol, you have to remove shoes and sweaters, it takes forever, etc. It is just not a good thing at all.
What makes it even worse is the new X-ray machine. Every time I go through it I get pulled to the side as they find “something.” They bring their little metal detector and what does it turn out to be? My zipper.
If your giant x-ray machine can’t tell a zipper how can I trust it to find a real threat? It is so infuriating that we have to go through all these long procedures and they don’t even work!
And every time I go they check my bag. Yes the “random” checks are every single time I fly.
Seriously
The last time was the worst. I went through and they had to check my bag, again.
AGAIN!
They stopped me because my toothpaste was “too big”. The worker pulled it out and checked it, squeezing it to make sure that it really was toothpaste. He saw that it was indeed toothpaste, and not any kind, the expensive enamel one. Thanks a lot.
argh
He then checked my hands for bomb residue, which they tested negative (as they do every time!) I guess I just look like a terrorist as they feel the need to take me aside EVERY TIME! Seriously I don’t know why they would pick on me so, I mean most people think I’m a child. You think that my baby face would actually help me in this situation instead of always working against me.
They then went on to use a tool that is a long shaft of metal with a hook on the end and used it to root around my suitcase and remove everything from it.
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO PACK MY CARRYON PERFECTLY?
And if that isn’t bad enough, it is so embarrassing to have your underwear and bras, and other clothes out for everyone to see. Sometimes even falling on the ground and you have to wait for the okay before you are allowed to touch anything.
So embarrassed
So they found nothing (of course, as I am not a terrorist). But then they expected me to pick up and pack my belongings in two seconds and move on. Like seriously, they were barking at me as I tried to refit everything in, which is no easy task.
I’m trying to do my best.
It was not a fun experience at all.
I don’t really blame the people as they are doing their jobs, but I just feel like this system isn’t working. I don’t know how to fix it either. All I can say is that it has deterred me from flying for a while as I am not anxious to go through that rigmarole again.
What do you know about trilogies? You mean like movie trilogies…Well, all I know about trilogies is that in the third one, all bets are off.
So welcome to another Scream-tastic Saturday! (For the previous Saturdays, go to Scream and Scream 2)
Yep the third installment in this now trilogy, Scream 3.
While this was a great horror parody, it wasn’t my favorite of the three. I thought it was okay, as it had Patrick Dempsey, but didn’t like how it was missing one of the best characters: Randy.
So this one is a complete throw out of left field, as it is the third film. This time we have the secret backstory that changes all that was ever given to us in the first two.
In fact Wes Craven actually filmed three different endings and didn’t tell the cast which one he was going to use. It was one big surprise.
Scream 3 takes place three years after Scream 2. If you recall from Scream 2, Cotton Weary is exonerated and Sidney agreed to do that interview with him. Well, that really helped as now Cotton hosts his own nationally syndicated talk show, called 100% Cotton.
That’s really the name they went with? I know its catchy, but it sounds more like an underwear commercial than a real show.
Anyways, back to the plot. He gets a phone call that starts out benign, but then quickly turns deadly.
Cotton Weary: Who’s this?
Female Caller: Who’s this?
Cotton Weary: Who are you calling?
Female Caller: Oh, you know what, I’ve got the wrong number.
Cotton Weary: That’s okay.
Female Caller: Wait, your voice. You sound a lot like that guy on TV, uh, Cotton Weary.
Cotton Weary: I do huh?
Female Caller: Yeah, I think he’s got a really sexy voice.
Cotton Weary: [laughs] Okay, well, thank you.
Female Caller: Wait a minute. You are Cotton, aren’t you? Oh my God, I am talking to Cotton Weary.
Cotton Weary: [laugh] You caught me. Listen can you hold on for a minute? I got someone on the other line.
Female Caller: Yeah…
Cotton Weary: Hold on.
Cotton Weary: [switches to car phone] Andrea, I got someone on the other line. I’ll have to call you back [switches back to cell phone] So… you a 100% Cotton fan?
Female Caller: Yeah, 110%.
Cotton Weary: [chuckle] That’s very good. So, uh… Why don’t you tell me your name?
Female Caller: Ooh, you’re a naughty boy, Cotton. Now, what would your girlfriend think?
Cotton Weary: What makes you think I have a girlfriend?
Phone Voice: [click] I know you do. I’m right outside her bathroom door. She’s in the shower. She’s got a nice little… voice. Let’s go in for a closer look. Ooh, she’s very, very pretty, Cotton. A step up from Maureen Prescott. Speaking of which, let’s play a game. Answer right, your girlfriend lives, answer wrong she dies. Where’s Maureen’s daughter, Sidney?
Cotton Weary: Who the f*** is this?
Phone Voice: Someone who would kill to know where Sidney Prescott is. You’ve got connections. One chance, Cotton. Where is she?
Cotton Weary: Listen to me, you son of a b****, if you touch Christine, I’ll f****** kill you.
Phone Voice: Wrong answer! [click; dead line]
LOL Cotton and Cotton 100% Cotton
Cotton rushes home to try and reach his girlfriend.
Now Christine the girlfriend is pretty stupid. She doesn’t lock her bathroom when she takes a shower? Who does that? Everyone does!
Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you’re chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?
Pretty much she gets killed, Psycho-style.
Making her
Victim #1
Ghostface attacks!
Cotton is soon to follow.
Victim #2
Now that begs the question, where is Sidney? What happened to her?
So Sidney had a major breakdown and faced a lot of changes since the last film. Let’s review. She had a killer target her again. She thought it might be her boyfriend. She watched her best friend die. She watched her boyfriend die. Someone who she thought was her friend, turned out to be a “sleeper agent” and tried to murder her. She almost died.
Yeah…that’s a lot to deal with a lot.
In fact, so much to deal with that Sidney has moved very, very far away to a secluded spot and only a handful have an idea of where she is. What she does for a living is work with a suicide prevention hotline. She gets one call a day. Today’s call isn’t the usual…its THE caller.
When a Stranger Calls
She hears about what happened to Cotton and realizes, it’s happening again.
Currently in Hollywood they are creating another Stab film, Stab 3, based on the true events of Scream 2. Cotton was one of the producers, so the cops have been checking it out. One cop is Mark Kincaid, played by Patrick Dempsey. In fact just like Mark Wahlberg in The Lovely Bones, Dempsey was hired the night before and had to figure the character out without any real ideas of the script. Anyways, Kincaid has been using Gale Weathers for background info as they found a photo of Sidney’s mother Maureen at the crime scene. Gale journeys out to Hollywood and when she gets there she discovers Dewey is there. Yep, the two broke up as Dewey didn’t like how she treats people. He is working as a consultant for the film, and dating the actress playing Gale Weathers that looks just like her, Jennifer Jolie.
Meanwhile on the set of Stab 3, one of the blond bimbos enters an office looking for someone and gets murdered.
Victim #3
Yep, this killer wastes very little time as later at Jennifer Jolie’s house her bodyguard gets a phone call and is murdered by ghostface.
Victim #4
The bodies are just dropping like flies. I wasn’t going to post this, but I feel like I can’t go any farther as this song is running through my brain nonstop.
To add to the intensity of this particular Ghostface is that he then blows up Jennifer Jolie’s house
The killer tries to attack Gale, but Dewey saves her by shooting at him.
Meanwhile, Sidney’s back. The attacks and calls encouraged her to come back and help find the killer. She and Mark clash at first a bit.
Sidney: What do you know about trilogies?
Mark: You mean like movie trilogies?
Sidney: You seem to like movies, Detective.
Mark: Call me “Mark”, will you? ‘Cause I’m gonna keep calling you Sidney.
Sidney: I’ll call you “Mark” when you catch the killer, Detective.
Mark: Well, all I know about trilogies is that in the third one, all bets are off.
Sidney: Did you request this case?
Mark: No. They tend to put me on the ones that deal with the business. I grew up here and I know my way around the studios.
Sidney: Must be exciting. Beautiful place, beautiful people.
Mark: To me, Hollywood is about death.
Sidney: Excuse me?
Mark: I’m a homicide cop. When you see what I see day in and day out, the violence that people do to each other, you get haunted. I think you know about that.
Sidney: What do you mean?
Mark: I know what it’s like to see ghosts that don’t go away, to be watching a scary movie in your head, whether you want to or not, watching it alone.
Sidney: Ghosts are tough. You can’t shoot ghosts.
Mark: Can’t arrest ghosts. But the trick to keep from getting haunted is to be with people. You’re here, you’re not in hiding. You’ve done the right thing… Miss Prescott. What did you know about your Mother?
Sidney: I always thought I had the perfect Mom, the perfect family until I found out I was wrong. She had a secret life and I tried to understand that. And… soon as I thought… then I had more secrets. I don’t know who my Mom was.
Mark: You knew who she was to you. Here’s the deal: I’m off to search the set. I think that what you saw is real. That’s the good news.
Sidney: How’s that good news?
Mark: Because it means that we are dealing with a flesh and blood killer, and I know how to handle guys like that.
Sidney: Oh, yeah. How?
Mark: Catch him or kill him.
Sidney: Hey, Detective? What’s your favorite scary movie?
Mark: My life.
Sidney: Mine, too.”
And that brings up a very interesting concept. What are the rules for a trilogy? How should we do this? Last time we had Randy to lead us, but now what are we going to do? Poor Randy! Best character ever! Oh, Randy! Randy nooooooooo!
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
So what Craven decided to do is to bring Randy into the film via video recording.
That’s how you gonna do it? That’s it? That’s really it?
The original idea was to have Randy survive the stabbing in Scream 2, his family having rescued him secretly. This was ultimately deemed to be too far-fetched so Randy was resurrected via a post-mortem video appearance instead. They knew they had to bring him back as the fans loved him. In fact Wes Craven got a ton of hate mail for killing off Randy, and thought this would appease the fans. Yeah you dunderheads, you made a big mistake.
Well you know what would have been an even better idea? NOT KILLING HIM!!!!!!!!
So here we go. Rules for a trilogy.
So Gale is eager to do some investigative reporting and finds herself being followed by Jennifer Jolie. Jolie wants to really “get into” her role. Great for Jolie, bad for Gale.
Ugh
I’m sure she would rather be punched in the face by Sidney.
So they go down to the archives and we have the funniest scene in the whole film.
Sidney also gets attacked by the killer.
She gets away and goes down to police headquarters to make a statement. At this point in time Sidney discovers that Mark Kincaid has a lot of newspaper clips and info on her. It creeps her out and makes her wonder whether or not he is the killer.
But it turns out her story and survival had intrigued him and he fell for her. Just like Det. Lt. Mark McPherson in Laura (1944). Which causes this earlier statement to make a lot more sense.
“Mark: I’m gonna talk to the studio guys about those photos.
Detective Wallace: Yeah right, I know where you’re going.
Mark: Yeah keep an eye on Sidney.
Detective Wallace: I know where you’re going, you’re gonna get her some flowers and candy, right? Huh?
Mark: Gimme a break!”
The main producer of the film, John Milton, invites everyone over for a cast party at his house. Unfortunately, they have been dragged to that house for one reason alone, the killer is going to kill them all!
Time to prepare yourself.
Sidney in the parlor with a candlestick
Now this is where the bodies really start hitting the floor.
Dewey and Gale discover the film’s director, Roman, stuffed in a chest.
Victim #5
Angeline, an actress, runs off and is murdered.
Victim #6
Then Tyson (another actor)
Victim #7
And Jennifer
Victim #8
The killer then attacks Gale and Dewey, knocking them out and tying them up. In a surprising twist, Ghostface doesn’t murder them but uses them to bait Sidney to the house.
Sidney shoots him, but he ends up escaping. Kincaid comes in to save the day, but gets knocked out by the killer. The killer then chases Sidney and reveals himself to be Roman.
Yep he had faked his own death. Now you may be wondering why would a famous film director want to murder Sidney Prescott? Well it turns out that he is Maureen’s illegitimate son.
This is actually radically different than any of the other Scream films. All the others have two killers; Scream-Billy & Stu, Scream 2-Mrs. Loomis & Mickey, Scream 4 had two but I won’t reveal until next week. Now the reason that this film had only one was that it was supposed to be the last film. That is until Wes got greedy and made the atrocity Scream 4 which I will review next week.
So know not only do we have the villain monologue, but the big reveal.
Phone Voice: You’re not going anywhere Sidney. It’s time you came to terms with me, and with mother. Maybe you never knew her at all Sidney… maybe you just can’t get past the surface of things.
Sidney: Who the hell are you?
Phone Voice: The other half of you. I searched for a mother too, an actress named “Reena Reynolds” tried to find her my whole LIFE, and four years ago I actually tracked her down. Knocked at her door thinking she’d welcome me with open arms, but she had a new life and a new name, Maureen Prescott! You were the only child she claimed Sidney. She shut me out into the cold forever! Her own son [takes off mask to reveal he is Roman Bridger] Roman Bridger, director, and brother. She slammed the door in my face, Sid. She said I was “Reena’s” child and Reena was dead… and then it struck me. What a good idea, so I watched her. I made a little movie, a little family film. Seems Maureen…”Mom”… she really got around. I mean Cotton was one thing; everybody knew about that. But Billy’s father – that was the key. Your boyfriend didn’t like seeing his daddy in my film too much. He didn’t like it at all. And once I supplied the motivation… all the kid needed was a few pointers. Have a partner to sell out incase you got caught, find someone to frame, it was like he was making a movie.
Sidney: You… this is all because of you.
Roman: I’m a director Sid, I direct.
Sidney: Ah.
Roman: I had no idea, that they were gonna make a film of their own. I mean intoducing Sidney the victim, Sidney the survivor, SIDNEY THE STAR!
He also reveals that John the producer raped Maureen, and Roman was their child. He kills John for revenge, bringing the body count to
Victim #8
Sidney is just tired of this.
Tired of hearing another killer blaming the circumstances of their life on her. Sidney berates Roman who gets angered enough to attack her leading to a fight. Roman manages to gain the upper hand but a distraction by Kincaid allows Sidney to grab his knife. He takes Kincaid’s gun and shoots her.
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
However, it turns out that she is wearing a bulletproof vest. She uses the knife and stabs him several times in the back and heart. Dewey takes his gun and shoots him several times, making sure he gets in a headshot.
The four-Gale, Dewey, Kincaid, and Sidney head out to her secluded mountain home. There Dewey proposes to Gale, by carving out her book and placing the ring inside. Now I know this is “romantic”, but to me it sounds horrible. You just destroyed a book!
Noooooooooo!!!!!!!
Sidney also starts a relationship with Kincaid, and it ends on a happy note. At last it is all over.
That is until this horrible thing comes up:
Well that was Scream 3. Tune in next week for the final chapter.
On the 8th day ’til Christmas my blogger gave to me
Holiday in Handcuffs (2007)
This film is another one of those that goes under the cliché of two people who can’t stand each other being stuck together for a period of time; and then end up falling in love. This copies the film, It Happened One Night. That is such an influential film that I promise you I will do a review on it.
So this film was made by abc family, a part of their 25 Days of Christmas. It stars the amazing Melissa Joan Hart; sparking her return to acting; along with the very handsome Mario Lopez. I had the biggest crush on Mario Lopez when he was A.C. Slater on Saved by the Bell. (Although he was my second, my heart first belonged to Mark-Paul Gosselaar).
So the film starts out with Trudy, (MJH), being ragged on by her parents. In everything she’s been in lately, she always has mean parents, it makes you wonder if they are really like that.
Hmm
Anyways, her mom is complaining about Trudy. Everything about her and she does is wrong. In fact, one thing her mother always complains about is Trudy’s hair, so she decided she would get a perm “to fix” it. It doesn’t turn out as planned as she completely wrecks her hair.
Because she was distracted by her hair and a phone call from her mother she also misses a job interview.
What else could go wrong?
When she gets to work, Raj’s Diner, her boyfriend stops by. Instead of going with her to her Christmas Family Reunion, he dumps her.
Trudy has a complete breakdown, kidnapping the next guy she sees, David (Mario Lopez), and takes him with her. She has a 19th century gun, but David manages to slip on some ice making it much easier for Trudy to lug him in her car.
Trudy ties him up with pantyhose and her scarf. She explains the situation and starts to tell him a little bit about herself. She runs out of gas and has to go get some, but the attendant comes out to pump her gas and sees David tied up. Trudy hurriedly explains that he’s her bf and they are going away for a weekend of “fun”. He runs back to his store and Trudy hurries to pump the gas before he gets back, worried he is going to call the cops. As the attendant comes out, he gives her free furry handcuffs for her “weekend”.
So every Christmas Trudy’s family rents out a place for Christmas where they can be away from the world. No cellphones, phones, or any electronics are allowed. This year they are going to a cabin far out in the middle of nowhere. She takes David there, but first goes into the cabin to tell her parents that “Nick”, (as she is pretending David is Nick ), likes to pretend that he is kidnapped and doesn’t want to be there. When she brings David in, he starts yelling about him being kidnapped but all Trudy’s parents do is laugh. When her brother and sister also come in, they have the same result. Trudy also becomes the key-master, in charge of hiding the phones and keys from everyone.
Trudy also keeps an eye on David, by having him share the room with her; telling her mom that she’s old enough to sleep in the same room as her bf. They end up sharing a room with bunk beds. That night David tries to escape, and Trudy catches him, bringing him back to the cabin.
The next day, David catches Trudy on the phone, and the two fight over it until Trudy crushes it with a meat mallet. The mom lends David some of the dad’s old clothes, which are too small, causing him to be the butt of everyone’s jokes. When the mom needs something from the store, he and Trudy’s dad go out to get it. Trudy tries to stop them, but everyone convinces her it will be great “bonding time”. While the guys are gone, Trudy’s sister helps her with her hair; straightening it out.
David and the dad drive out to the closest store, which happens to be the same gas station that Trudy had stopped at before. When David tries to convince him that he was kidnapped and needs help; the man brings out a shotgun and tells him to go back to the pretty lady. David complies. As he and the dad are driving back; David tries to take the wheel, almost crashing them. The dad puts David in a chokehold and calms them down. When they get back, David is so bummed that he is still stuck there he flings himself down upon a chair. When he does that, his too-tight pants rip, and Trudy’s older brother comes to his rescue by lending him some of his clothes.
When he goes to get the clothes, David discovers that Trudy’s brother Jake has a phone. He borrows it and runs into the bathroom to hurriedly call his girlfriend, Jessica. When he reaches her, he can say nothing; because she is too busy yelling at him for standing her up.
I am not pleased
David is finally able to explain by bursting out that he was going to propose. Now this part made no sense to me. Jessica is the daughter of David’s boss, and used to the high life. And he was going to propose to her in a diner?
That makes no sense! You think he would pick something a little more classy than Raj’s Diner.
Anyways, he tells Jessica that he’s been kidnapped and to send help asap. Jessica promises to help, eagerly thinking of the ring she will be receiving.
By this time Trudy has figured out what is going on, and picks the lock on the door. She grabs the phone and tosses it in the toilet, but it’s too late by then. David laughs at her, and promises that he will be the best bf ever, just to make things worse when her family finds out what she did. He proves to be as her family tells him of all of Trudy’s secrets, has him put the angel on the top of the tree, make Trudy fetch David pie, and has him read ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Trudy becomes extremely upset the way that her family seems to like David more than her.
After they read the book, the mom has them write out their Christmas lists and leaves Oreos and milk out for Santa. Here Trudy and David have a heart-to-heart. Trudy tells him that she is a disappointment to her parents and David tries to console her.
The next day is Christmas, and in the morning Trudy and David spend the day out having fun. They play hockey and take a walk out in the snow. They both learn more about each other as David reveals that his parents died when he was about six, and was raised by his grandpa. He worked his way through college and studied architecture, becoming a developer only because there was more money in it. Trudy realizes that while her family isn’t perfect there is plenty to be thankful for. She also tells David about the best Christmas she’s ever had. One year she was supposed to be in an ice-skating performance and it was canceled because of snow. She was so disappointed, that her father sprayed water over the patio, icing it up and decorated the whole area with lights so she could perform for them there.
Later, they go inside and play chess where they have some more heart-to-hearts and David realizes how sorry Trudy is for kidnapping him. They also just happen to walk under some mistletoe, causing the two to share a kiss and start up some feelings between the two.
Later when David is cleaning up, he finds an album with photos of Trudy’s artwork. She does a lot of portraiture; very post-impressionism style. Trudy finds her mom, and discovers that not everything is perfect in her parent’s marriage.
When present time comes around nobody gets what they want. Trudy receives a pink sweater, as her mom buys her one every year; Jake gets a tie; the Dad gets underwear; the mom a case of socket wrenches; and the grandma a mug that says “World’s Greatest Grandma”. David got a backscratcher and Katie (Trudy’s sister) a book of all the law firms in the nation. Trudy is also given a briefcase, which starts another argument about Trudy’s need to get a “real job”. David can’t watch her parents be so cruel to Trudy, and interrupts telling them that her artwork is amazing. He also pulls out his ring for Jessica and proposes. It’s so sweet and romantic.
Meanwhile Jessica and the cops have tracked down Trudy’s friend and coworker to find out where Trudy is. They interrupt her and her boyfriend, and when the cops threaten her, she spills all.
Back at the cabin, all are getting ready for Christmas dinner. In fact Trudy walks in on David getting ready, getting a great look at his bod. All I can say is I greatly appreciated the writers creating this scene.
Right before dinner, David gets Trudy and tells her he has a Christmas surprise. He has recreated her prefect Christmas. He sprayed the patio so it was icy, and put lights up everywhere; and asks her to show him her ice-skating routine. She does and the two’s love for each other is cemented, but neither has realized it.
Christmas dinner arrives, and all hell breaks loose. Katie tells her parents that she dropped out of school and has used the tuition to start a pilates studio in CA. Jake reveals that he is gay and has been seeing a man for a long time. The parents tell all about their marital problems. Just as all is revealed, the cops break in arresting everyone and letting the cat out of the bag about the kidnapping.
Everyone spends the night in jail. The next day they are all released as David chooses to not press charges.
Trudy realizes that she is in love with David, but puts herself into her painting, creating a piece about David’s Christmas surprise.
Meanwhile David is starting to see that Jessica isn’t the right person for him. He starts to reevaluate what his life is going to be like with her, and not quite pleased with what it will be like.
As all this is happening, one of Trudy’s pieces is picked to be in a show. She invites her brother to come to it, and he brings along his boyfriend. At the show Trudy is surprised to see the rest of the family. The parents have been in counseling and all have promised to be more open with each other. Trudy’s piece also gets sold. However, her happiness is short-lived as she is heartbroken over David, he got married the Saturday before.
Trudy leaves the show by herself, and is kidnapped. She is blindfolded and taken somewhere by………….David! David is the one who had purchased her picture and came to tell her he couldn’t marry Jessica. That not only is he in love with her, but she inspired him to create his own architectural firm. The film ends with the two being together; happily ever after!
janeaustenrunsmylife 