Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That, Who’s Afraid of the Big, Black Bat?: Batman Forever (1995)

Riddle me this, riddle me that, who’s afraid of the big, black bat?

Every time a new Batman movie comes out everyone starts talking about which film they think is the worst of the lot, for me it will always be Batman Forever (1995).

Ugh…this film

I wasn’t originally going to review this film, but since I couldn’t get my hands on a copy of the film I wanted to review, Batman Versus the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Scooby-Doo Meets Batman, Instead I had to settle for this film.

Oh it is also the inspiration for my Jane Austen dress up this year:

There are only two thing I like about this film, Jim Carrry was an excellent choice for Edward Nygma/The Riddler and I liked the change of Robin’s suit so it isn’t bright red and green. I know a lot of people like to make fun of the latter ‘90s Batman films, but both Batman Forever and Batman and Robin updated more of the colorful costumes, something you see in the superhero films/TV shows of today like Captain America, Daredevil, etc.

Tim Burton passed on this film, with Joel Schumacher becoming the director. Along with Burton, Keaton also choose not to come back and they had to find a new Batman, with Val Kilmer getting the role. Now Kilmer is not a bad actor but I think he is terrible in this as he plays it so stiff and unemotional.

This film takes place a year after Batman Returns but isn’t a Christmas film. I. This Batman/Bruce Wayne (Kilmer) is feeling guilty as his friend Harvey Dent (who is now white and played by Tommy Lee Jones instead of Billy Dee Williams) has changed from kind, lovable, and moral lawyer to sadistic killer psychopath. Why the change? He was disfigured with acid by mobster Sal Maroni. I always wished they had gone with the Batman the Animated series versions where he already had a background of mental illness and then the something happened to magnify it.

Anyways, Batman defuses a hostage situation, meeting Arkham’s new psychoanalyst, Dr. Chase Meridan (Nicole Kidman) who is my least favorite Batman love interest. This character was not based on anything from the actual comics but created specifically for the film by screenwriters Janet and Lee Batchler. They thought it would be more interesting for him to date a psychoanalyst rather than a typical socialite. While I like the idea, I feel like this particular version of powerful woman is something men “think” is powerful but instead is just overtly sexual and has her own issues she should be focusing on before trying to assist others.

Batman/Bruce then later hasto go to Wayne Enterprises for his other job. There at Wayne Enterprises is Edward Nygma, big brain scientist who is obsessed with Bruce Wayne. When Bruce rejects his invention of trying to beam television signals into a person’s brain and influence then to make certain purchases, he becomes enraged and it is th trigger that pushes him on a chaotic and murderous path. It’s funny that Bruce is so against this, since that is essentially what most companies are doing. I mean I’m not saying they affect your brainwaves, but they are cataloging your info and trying to influence your shopping. Nygma kills his supervisor and plots to destroy Bruce.

Bruce likes the Dr. Meridian but she likes Batman. Poor guy, he’s falling victim to the Peter Parker/Black Cat scenario, when the girl finds your alter ego exciting but your real life boring. He asks her to accompany him to a charity functions and she agrees to attend. They go to the circus and watch the Flying Graysons perform. Unfortunately the night is ruined by a crazed by Two-Face who demands Batman or else he’ll blow up the whole tent. 17 year old Dick Grayson (Chris O’Donnell) the youngest of the trapeze troupe manages to disarm Two Face’s bomb and sending it into the river and saving everyone. However, his joy is short lived as a very angry Two-Face kills the rest of the Graysons in retaliation.

Bruce takes Dick in as he recognizes the pain he is in. Dick of course does what every kid would do in a mansion, he goes around looking in every room and discovers the bat cave and that Bruce is Batman. He demands they create the “dynamic duo” but Batman says no. Dick gets angry and basically goes “you’re not my father!” on him.

Dude you were taken in by a billionaire. If that was me I would not be making demands but enjoying it.

Nygma becomes the Riddler and joins forces with Two-Face. Two-Face is way more comedic in this then how I like him to be (as Two-Fave is one of my favorite Batman villains). They really try to send the “split personality” theory home with him not just having his face and suit divided, but his home and two ladies to appeal to both natures (Drew Barrymore and Debi Mazer). I’ve always felt this was way too over the top and silly. Two-Face was a really interesting and complex character and both film portrayals of him were terrible.

Team Two-Face and Riddler commit a series of robberies, the money Riddler funnels into his brainwave project creating the “Box”, which steals information from users’ minds.

Nygma throws a big party and steals info from people (again what happens today wow this movie was ahead of the times), discovering Batman’s secret identity and almost killing Bruce (before he knows he is Batman). Luckily Dick saves the day.

Dr. Chase turns on the bat signal and tries to seduce Batman, propositioning him, but he refuses her. Later he goes to her office as Batman, but she rejects him as she is in love with Bruce.

Are you really? I mean all your conversations have been you being rude to him, talking over him, and basically treating him as if he was a buffoon.

With the info about Batman the dastardly duo blow up his house/batcave and kidnap Dr. Meridian. Bruce and Alfred deduce who is behind this (Nygma), Bruce has Duck/Robin be his partner, an they save the day.

At the end they have captured Nygma but he’s lost his mind and Batman’s secret is safe forever.

So even though this film is Batman Forever, Val Kilmer did not stay Batman Forever, as he didn’t get for the bat suit and in the final film was replaced by George Clooney. Dr. Meridan also didn’t turn out to be a “forever” relationship as in the next film they are broken up.

The film is not as interesting as the previous two (or I’d argue the latter one) which is sad as there was a lot that could have been done with the characters. It’s definitely my least favorite of all the Batman films.

For more Batman, go to A Man Dressed as a Giant Bat, Psychotic Deformed Man Wrecking Havoc, and a Zombie Cat Woman…A Batman Christmas: Batman Returns (1992)

For more detectives, go to The Crimes of Juliet O’Hara and a Blast from the Past: Psych the Movie (2017)

For more Tommy Lee Jones, go to I Could Shoot You in the Middle of Mardi Gras and They Can’t Touch Me…: Double Jeopardy (1999)

For more Jim Carrey, go to I Don’t Want to Be a Vampire. I’m a Day Person: Once Bitten (1985)

Here Piggy, Piggy: Chinese New Year

The Chinese New Year this year goes from February 5th – March 5th. I will be posting 9 of my favorite fictional pigs from film and books.

Yes!

Years of the Pigs are 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019, and 2031. Pigs are realistic, treat themselves well, they are a bit materialistic, hard workers, energetic, and enthusiastic.

Pigs are most compatible with Tigers, as they provide protection and security. They also do well with Rabbits and Goats.

So now onto the countdown.

9) Pigling Bland from The Tale of Pigling Bland by Beatrix Potter

Pigling Bland is sent away from home when there are too many piglets to feed. He and his brother Alexander are headed to market, but Alexander loses his papers and is sent back to the farm. Pigling finds them afterwards and tries to go after him. He ends up running into a farmer who invites him to stay the night at his home. Pigling agrees but is unsure to trust him. After the farmer goes to bed, Pigling discovers another pig there and the two try to escape over the ill anf far away.

***Pigling Bland***

Pigling is a stickler to the rules, kind, caring, intelligent, and all he wanrs os the simple life. He aids Pigwig in her freedom and uses his wits to save the two and escape tp freedom.

For more on Beatrix Potter, go to Bookish Thank You

8) Madmartigan Turns into a Pig from Willow

A prophecy states that a child born with a birthmark will dethrone the evil sorceress, Queen Bavmorda. To stop it from coming to pass she imprisons all pregnant woman to kill them and their children. One child is born and smuggled out, ending up in a village of dwarves. She is found by Willow Ufgood who goes on a quest to try and bring the child to humans to raised by them.

***Madmartigan***

When we first meet the handsome, mercenary Madmartigan, played by Val Kilmer, he is a metaphorical pig. He only cares about himself, is after woman, and just looking for that next pleasurable thing (and freedom from the raven’s cage they put him in.) But as he goes with Willow, we see him change to be a better person. And then the evil sorceress tries to turn him into a pig, but our hero isn’t out for long. He’s saved in the end by Willow, and then takes the baby to raise and care for.

7) Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

Fern saves the runt of the litter from being made into morning’s breakfast and is given him, Wilbur, to take care of, him staying at her uncle’s farm. She loves her pig, but soon grows up and doesn’t seem to care for the pig anymore. Fern’s uncle and aunt decide it is time for him to be made into dinner, but poor Wilbur doesn’t want to die. He has befriended an amazing spider named Charlotte and she sets out on a plan to save him.

***Wilbur***

Wilbur is an adorable pig and friend. He’s there for Charlotte and even after her death, cares for her spiders and the generations to come.

6) Henwen from The Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander and film The Black Cauldron

In The Book of Three, Taran is a young boy who wishes to be a knight and fight for his country. He is an orphan that has been raised with former sorceror Dalbean and knight Coll. His job is to be the assistant pig-keeper and care for Hen Wen. But to his chagrin, there is more than meets the eye. Hen Wen is an oracular pig and needs protection from the evil Horned King. When he shirks his duties, she is kidnapped and he sets out to save her, meeting a whole cast of other characters.

***Hen Wen***

Hen Wen is a sweet pig that has an amazing power to see the future and reveal where the black cauldron is hidden, the very thing the Horned King desires. She also is fundamental in helping Taran become a man, him learning a lot of humility, responsibility, and that actions-or lack of them-can have serious consequences.

For more on Hen Wen, go to A Hidden Wonder

5) Piglet from Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne

In the Hundred Acre Woods, Winnie-the-Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger, Rabbit, Gopher, and Owl go on all kinds of adventures with their boy, Christopher Robin.

***Piglet***

Piglet is Pooh’s best friend and always there for anyone. He is scared of a lot of things, but his fear doesn’t keep him from being the most loyal creature in the woods. Even when Owl tries to take his house for Eeyore, Piglet doesn’t stop them-but is willing to give it up for his pal. From taking part in Pooh’s schemes to being there for all-he’s a wonderful pig.

For more on Winnie the Pooh and Piglet, go to 25 More Films of Christmas

4) Porky Pig from Looney Tunes

Looney Tunes is a collection of silly shorts and fun cartoons.

***Porky Pig***

Such a big part of my childhood, he had to go on her. I can’t remember what it would be like without the stuttering-that’s all folks.

For more Looney Tunes, go to Nobody calls me Chicken: Chinese New Year 

3) Lester from Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle’s Magic by Betty MacDonald

Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle-eccentric, childcaretaker, pirate bride-is back with her upside down house, more animal friends, and more tonics and cure-alls for children’s bad behavior. Yes, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle knows kids and has a chest full of all kinds of tonics and cures for bad behavior such as: I-THOUGHT-YOU-SAIDERS, TATTLETALERS, BAD TABLE MANNERS, INTERRUPTERS, HEEDLESS BREAKERS, I-NEVER-WANT-TO-GO-TO-SCHOOLERS, and WADDLE-I-DOERSThese are amazing books that I grew up read and just LOVE!

***Lester***

Lester is Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle’s pet pig and he is adorable, sweet, kind, caring, and has the best table manners. Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle lends him out to families who’s kids are awful eaters. He is polite, clean, charming, and helps with household chores. Once you have him in your house you won’t want him to leave!

2) Hamm from the Toy Story Series

I’m sure all of you know the plot to this, but just in case…When you were a kid did you ever think that your toys came to life when you were gone and moved around on their own? Well in Toy Story they address the question that every kid was wondering and say, “yes, they do”.

Whenever Andy leaves his room his toys come to life. These toys are lead by a cowboy named Woody (Tom Hanks). As the family is moving, Andy’s birthday party is moved up and he gets lots of space type things, including a new space toy, Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen). Woody becomes jealous as he is demoted from Andy’s favorite toy, and everyone in the toy chest is going ga-ga over Buzz. One day Woody accidentally knocks Buzz outside Andy’s window. He and the other toys believe that Woody killed him, the other toys believing he did it on purpose. Woody is saved when Andy takes him along on his family’s trip to dinner. While his mom is filling up the tank who should show up? A very angry Buzz seeking revenge. Buzz survived the fall and snuck into the car. As the two fight, Andy and his mom leave for the resturant. Woody hatches a plan to get them there as well,  but they are unfortunately picked up by Andy’s next door neighbor Sid, a sadistic toy torturer. During this time period Buzz has a breakdown as he realizes that he is not a real spaceman, but just a toy. Now it is up to Woody to pull Buzz together and for the two of them to figure out a way to get back to Andy before he moves and is gone forever.

***Hamm***

This wisecracking, sarcastic, tough piggy bank was one of my favorite characters. I loved it so much that I got my own Hamm piggy bank and still use it. He hilarious, fun, and such a childhood and adulthood favorite.

For more Toy Story, go to Well I Feel Sheepish: Chinese New Year

1) Miss Piggy from The Muppets

The Muppets were a variety show with a colorful cast of characters.

***Miss Piggy***

Miss Piggy was the best. She was my ultimate favorite character as a child. Beautiful, charming, forceful, powerful-and won’t let anyone treat her bad. I have to admit I loved when she would karate chop someone and “hiya-ed” more than I probably should have. She was such an influence on me and my personality. The best!

For more on The Muppets, go to T.N.T.

For the 2018 post, go to A Dog’s Life: Chinese New Year

For the 2017 post, go to Nobody calls me Chicken: Chinese New Year

For the 2016 post, go to A Little Monkey Business: Chinese New Year

For the 2015 post, go to Well I Feel Sheepish: Chinese New Year

For the 2014 post, go to A Horse’s Tale: Chinese New Year

For the 2013 list, go to Snakes on a Post: Chinese New Year