I Will Wait for You: This Episode Sucks, Psych (2011)

Romantic Moment #7

“This Episode Sucks” Psych (2011) 

I love Psych.

I found the show absolutely hilarious and started watching it all the time. That is until they mentioned the last season. I stopped watching as I didn’t want it to end right away. But of course, if you love something you can’t stay away from it too long.

So the show is about Shawn Spencer (James Roday) who is just your average guy, except for one thing. He has a photographic memory.

His father was a cop and honed a thousand such skills, like psychology of body language, how to detect liars, etc- in him. He rebelled from his father and left his home of Santa Barbara, CA to travel all over the world. When he returns, he is able to solve tons of crimes just from watching the news reports. When the cops get suspicious on how he is doing it, thinking he is actually committing some of these crimes, he lies and says he is a psychic.

Oh, well

Soon he has roped his best friend since childhood, Burton “Gus” Guster into being a part of his crime solving crew, and the duo become consultants for the SBPD (Santa Barbara Police Department).

So a lot of stuff has happened when this episode airs. Shawn and Gus have cemented themselves as consultants for the SBPD and have solved tons of cases. Shawn has started dating Officer Juliet O’Hara, after a long series of him trying to get with her.

Carlton Lassiter and Shawn have a relationship in which most of the time they can’t stand each other, but do have moments where they actually work together.

Carlton wife has divorced him, he’s lonely and unhappy with life. One night as he is drinking at a bar he is approached by a beautiful blonde woman, Marlowe. For serious fans, you’ll recignize her as Kristy Swanson, the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Sh disappears, and Carlton searches for her. The next morning he’s called to a crime scene where a victim has lost all their blood and has two pinpricks at the neck and wrist.

hmm…

Of course Shawn and Gus immediately think Vampire.

And they start investigating as others are attacked and the local blood bank is hit.

Juliet O’Hara; Shawn Spencer as Lestat from Interview With a Vampire; and Gus Guster as Mamuwalde from Blacula

Marlowe ties into all this somehow-could she be a killer? Or worse-a vampire?

Most Romantic Moment: I Will Wait for You

***Spoiler Warning***

So this romantic moment comes at the very end of the episode. Carlton has fallen for Marlowe, only to discover that she originally approached him to knock him out and drain his blood for her brother-someone who suffers from a rare blood type and rare disease that keeps him in constant need of transfusions.

Ouch

She didn’t go through with it, and wanted to date him for him-but has to serve jail time for breaking into the local blood bank and stealing vials for her brother.

She asks him to visit so she can talk to him and he comes.

Marlowe Viccellio: [in jail] I wasn’t sure you’d come.

Carlton Lassiter: I’m a man of my word.

Marlowe Viccellio: I’m so sorry. I wish I…

Carlton Lassiter: Look, you did what you thought you had to do. If there’s an upside to any of this, it’s that your brother will finally get the care he needs now that he’s going to be in the system for a long, long, long time…Can I ask you something?

Marlowe Viccellio: Anything.

Carlton Lassiter: Where would you rate “Pink Cadillac” in the Eastwood canon?

Marlowe Viccellio: Not very high, I’m afraid. I mean, I suppose it’s good as a companion piece to “City Heat”, but he’s much funnier with the orangutan.

[Lassiter turns away, hastily scribbles a note on a scrap of paper, then turns back around and presses the note against the glass]

Awwwwwwwww, so romantic!

Aw!

Not only is he loyal and waits for her, but faithfully visits her every Wednesday.

Aw! How sweet!

To start Romance is in the Air: Part V, go to Who Says I Have to Stop: Fireproof (2008)

For the previous post, go to You Can Be Yourself With Me: George of the Jungle (1997)

For more Psych, go to It’s A Fan World After All

For more on Carlton Lassiter, go to At the End of the Rainbow: 17 More Irish Heroes

For more on Vampires, go to Scarlet Night: Archie’s Weird Mysteries (2000)

Scarlet Night: Archie’s Weird Mysteries (2000)


 

So you know what today is:

So that means it is time to review a TV episode for TV Tuesday

Vampires are coming to Riverdale

This came on the VHS with Attack of the Killer Spuds. This was a pretty good series of episodes, although I thought the end made no sense.

So this storyline is told in three parts; a Vampire Tale in Three Acts. Originally I was going to do them all together, but I have been trying to review this since the first Horrorfest, and every time I find mysef unable to do it . That’s six years of trying.

Wow

So I have decided that I will review each episode individually. I know that makes it a little odd to have so many TV episodes, but I am ready to get this done.

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Act One: Scarlet Night

“Cross of silver, ray of light, in ender’s hand, shall end the night”

The film starts out with Veronica having this strange dream of a Vampire attacking her, only to destroy him with an antique cross necklace. She laughs off the freak only to be scared by a redheaded girl.

The next day she is telling Betty about her dream, mostly laughing it off. They meet up with Jughead and Archie. Then a new girl enters the scene

Redhead Ah!

A new girl has moved to town, and she looks exactly like the girl in Veronica’s dream.

What! Mark Wahlberg that's weird

Her name is Scarlet Helsing (like Van Helsing) and she promptly takes Archie off to discuss his article and her own “weird mysteries”.

Hmm…

This makes Veronica very angry.

that girl is going after my man she is going to wish she was never born

Betty and Veronica are determined to get Archie back, Betty going on the computer to research her, while Veronica decides to follow them.

stalker

Veronica is driving around not paying attention to anything, when she crashes right into Dr. Strange’s Mystical Shop. No, it’s not the Dr. Strange, although he does remind me of him, Dr. Beaumont is the proprietor. As Veronica is picking up Dr. Beaumont’s spilled items, she sees a necklace, an amulet to be exact.

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Just like the one in her dream.

thisisheavybacktothefuture

Dr. Beaumont tells Veronica that it is the Ender’s Stone.

“Cross of silver,

Ray of light,

In Ender’s Hand,

Shall end the night.”

He tells Veronica that there is a prophecy, that on Halloween this year, the sun will set and never rise again, beginning the reign of the Vampires!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, in Pop’s Chocklit Shop, Scarlet is telling Archie the same thing. She has been researching the event and discovered that the only one who can save them is the Ender using the Sun stone or Amulet. Scarlet doesn’t know who the Ender is, as the book wasn’t complete. BUT does know that it is a girl.

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Does this sound familiar to you?

The plot thickens

How about her?

Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer

buffyvampireslayerTed

Yes, this series of episodes are a parody of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While the Master looks like the Master in Buffy the Vampire (TV Series), the rest of it resembles more of the 1992 film than the show.

In the 1992 film, Buffy was a valley girl, uber rich, and a cheerleader who only cared about fashion. In Archie’s Weird Mysteries (AWM), Veronica talks in a valley girl voice, is uber rich, and a cheerleader who only cares about fashion. Both don’t want to be a Slayer or Ender, trying to pass it off to others, but find themselves accepting the role when push comes to shove.

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Also the way the Vampires look and float everywhere resembles the 1992 film more than the TV show.

All right, let’s get back to the review.

So Dr. Beaumont, after hearing Veronica’s dream, decides that she must be the chosen one. He gives her the amulet and takes off.

run-away

Veronica does not want the amulet or to be the chosen one.

No thank youhowaboutno

She decides to head over to Pops to find Archie. After all, he’s the Weird Mystery expert, he should know what to do.

While Archie and Veronica are talking in the parking lot, two vampires come up behind them and begin chasing them, trying to bite them.

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They manage to climb a building, but when the Vampires follow them there, they jump off, using a vampire to break their fall.

Back on solid ground, they spot Dr. Beaumont’s Shop, and as he forgot to lock the door, they hide inside it. Veronica is even more convinced that she is not the Ender, and gives the necklace to Archie. But while inside Veronica spots an open book. She reads the pages and sees another prophecy about the Ender.

“Raven and Red upon their heads,

Destiny awakens,

One girl is the Ender,

While the other is mistaken.”

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Before she can think about what it means, Archie tells her the coast is clear and that they should make a run for it. They discover that it was really a trap, as the Vampires are waiting outside the doors. The Vampires attack, but they manage to fight them off and run.

Run Away

As they run, they run right into Scarlet.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

How did she just happen upon them? Sounds suspicious. I think she’s evil.

you're evil

Scarlet takes down the Vampires, knocking them out. When Archie asks how she found them, she tells him she was “lucky” and that she has been following Archie to “help him.” Yeah, I don’t think so. This girl is crazy. Step away, step far, far, away.

Her in this case

Her in this case

And following him? Hello stalker.

stalker

Archie needs to hang out with Betty more, she’s the only normal one here.

Anyways, Veronica is convinced that any girl who can beat up a couple of Vampires, must be the Ender. She decides to head home, while Archie and Scarlet go to his place.

Back at Veronica’s mansion, Betty calls. It turns out that she has some very interesting news about Scarlet from her old school. It is really old, as Scarlet went to high school over 200 years ago!

OMG

That means only one thing. She is a Vampire!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Veronica collects her things and sets out for Archie’s place.

Back at the Andrews residence, Archie gives Scarlet the amulet, telling her that he thinks she is the Ender. Scarlet refuses, Archie argues and while he is doing so, he notices something weird. Scarlett has no refecltion in the mirror!!!

Say What

Scarket is a vampire!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scarlet can walk around during the day, like the other vampire minions, as long as she stays in her human form. It was her job to find and kill the Ender, so that nothing stood between the Master and the Eternal night. He needs Eternal night as he cannot roam during the day. As Scarlet has revealed all, she settles down to feed on Archie.

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When she is stopped by…Jughead with a hamburger!

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

Yes, Jughead stuffs a GARLIC hamburger in Scarlet’s mouth, while he, Betty, and Veronica pull Archie out of the house through the window. Archie grabbing the necklace on his way out.

Count Dracula: Van Helsing. [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula] Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country. Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy. Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived. Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life. Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night. Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart. Count Dracula: Come here. [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing] Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing. [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him] Count Dracula: More wolfbane? Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count. Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

Veronica quickly grabs the necklace and thrusts it upwards, using it to kill the vampires. Archie & the gang have not only won, but Veronica discovered she is capable of much more than shopping.

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Or is IT?

To start Horrorfest VI from the beginning, go to One of Our Guests is a Werewolf, I Know It.: The Beast Must Die (1974)

For the previous post, go to Welcome to a New World of Gods and Monsters: The Mummy (2017)

For more on Archie’s Weird Mysteries, go to When Potatoes Go Bad: Attack of the Killer Spuds (1999)

For more on Archie Comics, go to Simply Fantastic

For more on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to I’d Risk My Life to Save Yours: Earshot, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1999)

For more vampires, go to Dracula. Not Myth, Nor Ravings of a Mad Irish Novelist, Oh No, He’s Real: Dracula 2000 (2000)

I’d Risk My Life to Save Yours: Earshot, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1999)

Romantic Moment #10

Go here to see which you belong in

Go here to see which you belong in

“Earshot” from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1999)

So my friend was a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and took me along for the ride. I loved it, especially Angel (David Boreanaz).

Angel

Why did he have to leave the show?

MeanGirls I know right!

Anyways, he makes it so hard to pick just one romantic moment, darn you super romantic guy. But I think I settled on a moment that truly shows how much he cares for Buffy.

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So this episode takes place during season three. The Mayor has been revealed as evil:

Mayor from Buffy the vampire slayer

Faith accidentally killed a guy and has gone crazy, siding with the mayor and trying to destroy Buffy (Sarah Michelle Geller).

She is crazy!

She is crazy!

They tried to take away Angel’s soul so that he is evil

Dracula

He joins Faith, dating her now:

1Star-Wars-Luke-NOOO-Not-my-father

But it turns out to be a plot cooked up by Buffy and Angel to get info on the mayor.

However, having Angel going off and be with Faith like that has given Buffy lots of doubts and uncertainty about if Angel really cares about her and what really happened between them.

HeartHurtsDon'tKnowCanDoAgainHeartbroken

She fights a demon, but accidentally gets its blood on her. This gives her the power to read minds.

What?!

But soon this goes bad. The powers grow so strong that she can’t stop hearing voices, her mind hurts so bad, and she overheard that someone is trying to kill everyone in the school.

Not good

Not good

Buffy gets sent home to rest, while her watcher Giles searches for a cure, and the rest of the crew try to find out who is the possible murderer.

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Most Romantic Moment: Angel Practically Gets Burned Alive to Save Buffy

So Buffy is going to go completely insane unless she can drink this antidote. The only problem? They need the other demon’s heart, but how can they get it without the Slayer?

Angel buffy the vampire slayer

That’s right, Angel goes out and spends all night and half the day searching for the demon, killing him and bringing back the heart. Now why is that romantic? Well Angel is a Vampire, and has risked his life and suffered in pain; burning in the sunlight. I mean he was literally smoking.

ouch Hermione

And he continues through this to track down the only thing he knows can save Buffy, because he loves her.

igotitbuffythevampireslayerigotthis

And if that’s not enough he then stays by her side watching her until he knows she is okay.

buffythevampireslayerlayinginbedsleepsickwaitingareyouokay

So romantic!

So romantic!

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To start Romance is in the Air: Part V, go to I Did It for You: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

For the previous post, go to I Would Go Through Anything for You: Sleeping Beauty (1959)

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For more Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to She’s Been Totally Different…Like Stepford: Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

For more Angel, go to Lookin’ Over a Four-Leaf Clover: 17 More Irish Heroes

For more Buffy, go to I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more David Boreanaz, go to The Butcher of Burtonsville High: The Death of the Queen Bee, Bones (2010)

For more Sarah Michelle Geller, go to A Study in Fandoms

Eye Guess I Won’t Be Seeing You

So I hate going to the doctors. You have to wait forever, and then they give you a millisecond after all the paperwork and time spent with dumb old magazines.

doctorhatedoctors

There is only one doctor I don’t mind visiting, the eye doctor/optometrist.

Say What

I only go once a year, I get in fast, spend some time looking through lenses at a sign on the wall; and then I’m out and off with my life.

No problem at all.

No problem at all.

This time however things were a little different.

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

So I went in for my yearly visit as I have to buy new glasses. My old ones the bridge is messed up and scratching my nose and irritating my skin.

glassesnotafashionaccessory

While I was there the doctor asked me if she could dilute my eyes.

UHHHHHHHH!!!!

UHHHHHHHH!!!!

I had no idea what that was but since she had never done it and I have to do it every so many years I agreed.

I don't need it.

I don’t need it.

I asked if I needed to call a ride or anything, but she said I should be fine to drive. It was mostly going to affect my vision of things close up, like reading, but far away should be okay.

startrekletsgetstarted

She then pulled out this weird creepy headpiece that looked like it was from a horror film or something.

totalrecall3

She put the drops in my eyes and of course wore the headpiece and checked me out.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow what

I passed, but afterwards things were weird.

weirdtwilightzone

It was so hard to read anything, I felt like a 40 year old woman or something. I could only look at things after they were a foot away from my body.

see cute guy look

I had such a hard time paying my bill.

idon'tgotthis

The light was also super bright in the store.

The light burns.

The light burns.

I was told that it would be blinding outside and given special lens to wear under my glasses. I walked outside and the light was crazy bright in my face. I had to shut my eyes and pull out the lenses to block out the pain.

It burns

It burns

I felt like a vampire or something.

Dracula

I tried to drive, but the power of the sun was just too strong I had to call for a ride.

idon'tgotthis

Having your eyes diluted is one of the weirdest things ever. Your pupil is so big and black you look possessed or something.

DemonDean MonsterSupernatural

I had to shun the light and the day, instead becoming a creature of the night.

But something terrible lurks inside.

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For more doctor visits, go to Avengers Assemble

For more on glasses, go to Not a Hipster, But an O.F.

For more stories on my everyday life, go to My Trip to Teavana

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Now in other news, today is a very special day in our world & nation’s history. I would just like to take the time to give a shout out to all the veterans who have served, and all the troops currently serving.  Thank you so much for everything you have done and for all the sacrifices you have made. I am so happy to live in a country that gives honor to those who deserve it for all that they do. Happy Veteran’s Day!

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Dracula. Not Myth, Nor Ravings of a Mad Irish Novelist, Oh No, He’s Real: Dracula 2000 (2000)

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Dracula. Dracula: not myth, nor ravings of a mad Irish novelist, oh no. He’s real, I assure you.

A long time ago, AMC used to do Fear Fridays. Every friday night at 8 they would show a horror film, and not stop until early Saturday morning. But then they pushed it back to 9, then 10, then 11, then 12, then 1 am, then 2 am; still calling it Fear Friday although it was actually Saturday morning. And then they just stopped doing it, which deeply saddened me as I saw many a good, creepy film those Friday nights.

Why did it end?

Why did it end?

This however, wasn’t one of those good movies.

Hate YOu

My sister and I saw this on one of those Friday nights and I hated this film. I thought it was dumb, stupid, boring, made no sense and couldn’t hold a candle to Bela Lugosi in Dracula (1931). And I vowed to never see it ever again.

never-say-never-in-front-of-fantasy_1279

Last week, my friend and I were having a horror film marathon. We saw Once Bitten and then were in the mood for a more serious film. She was going through the list and wanted to see Dracula 2000 as she has never seen it before. I was like

No thank youhowaboutno

She then asked me what the film was about, if I could give her a summary, and I tried to tell her…

Uhhhhhhh

Uhhhhhhh

But I couldn’t remember. The only thing I could think of was that it had Johnny Lee Miller (who played Mr. Knightley in Emma (2009) and Edmund Bertram in Mansfield Park (1999) as the regular person thrust in the adventure (the only character I liked); Gerald Butler as Dracula (the reason I watched it the first time) but he was so young that it didn’t even look like him and I hated his character; a weird scene in the record store; and that I hated it. Why did I hate it, I couldn’t remember. The movie must have been so horrible I just wiped it from my memory banks.

Where

Since I couldn’t remember it, and thought maybe I was too harsh a judge, we decided to watch it and see if it was different this go round.

I-am-going-to-try-this-Well-Rested-Makeup-Tutorial-it-works-amazing-1024x1024maybe

I HATED IT!

HateEverythingthewomen

I thought it was horrible and stupid. So you know what that means! A countdown!!! Yes, let’s go over everything I liked (barely anything) to everything I hated (practically everything!)

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Synopsis:

The film is supposed to be Dracula set in modern times rather than 1831, so the year is 2000. In London, Matthew Van Helsing (Abraham’s descendent) has an antique store in which he is training Simon (Johnny Lee Miller). That night everyone but Matthew goes home, and unbeknownst to him his secretary Solina is part of a ring of thieves that breaks into his vault. They find nothing in there but crosses and a coffin, taking it as it must be valuable.

But something terrible lurks inside.

But something terrible lurks inside.

When Matthew discovers the theft, he goes after them, leaving Simon to watch over the business. However, Simon is worried about his mentor and follows him instead.

The thieves open the coffin and reveal that it is Dracula (Gerald Butler) who turns them all into vampires.

Renfield: He came and stood below my window in the moonlight. And he promised me things, not in words, but by doing them. Van Helsing: Doing them? Renfield: By making them happen. A red mist spread over the lawn, coming on like a flame of fire! And then he parted it, and I could see that there were thousands of rats, with their eyes blazing red,l ike his, only smaller. Then he held up his hand, and they all stopped, and I thought he seemed to be saying: "Rats! Rats! Rats! Thousands! Millions of them! All red-blood! All these will I give you! If you will obey me!" Van Helsing: What did he want you to do? Renfield: That which has already been done! [giggles sinisterly]

Renfield: He came and stood below my window in the moonlight. And he promised me things, not in words, but by doing them.
Van Helsing: Doing them?
Renfield: By making them happen. A red mist spread over the lawn, coming on like a flame of fire! And then he parted it, and I could see that there were thousands of rats, with their eyes blazing red,l ike his, only smaller. Then he held up his hand, and they all stopped, and I thought he seemed to be saying: “Rats! Rats! Rats! Thousands! Millions of them! All red-blood! All these will I give you! If you will obey me!”
Van Helsing: What did he want you to do?
Renfield: That which has already been done!
[giggles sinisterly]

He then heads to New Orleans, LA. There lives Mary Heller, a devout Catholic, who has had strange dreams/visions her whole life but they seem worse now than ever before. She keeps seeing this man, unsure of who he is, but us viewers know him as Dracula.

Dracula

Simon and Matthew team up and try to destroy the new vampires, Simon originally shocked but after being attacked admits they are real. Matthew then reveals his secret, he is really Abraham Van Helsing, the Van Helsing.

Count Dracula: Van Helsing. [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula] Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country. Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy. Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived. Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life. Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night. Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart. Count Dracula: Come here. [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing] Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing. [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him] Count Dracula: More wolfbane? Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count. Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

[Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

When he discovered nothing worked to kill Dracula, he imprisoned him in a coffin and took his blood to keep him young as he continued to try to find a way to destroy him. He was married and they had a daughter Mary, and in her blood is Dracula’s blood. When he told his wife the whole story, she left him and took his daughter to America.

And run fast

Dracula has lost his male vampires, but has three wives: Solina, the secretary; Valerie, a news reporter; and Lucy, Mary’s best friend. Simon and Helsing split up to look for Mary, Helsing being killed by Dracula and the wives at Mary’s house. Simon finds Mary and they escape, only for Mary to be captured later. Simon tries to help her; but is no match for all the vampires.

Dracula

Before Dracula turns Mary into a vampire, he reveals that he is Judas Iscariot and that is why he hates silver and crosses. He tried to hang himself, but the “rope broke” and God turned him into a vampire.

SayWhat?BuffyVampireSlayernosense

I know. He turns Mary into a vampire, but I guess her already vampire blood counteracts it as she is not his slave.

You-serious?-Not-happening-babe!

She saves Simon, kills Dracula, and decides to continue the family business (although if she killed Dracula it is over) turning into a female Blade, kinda-sorta.

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So What Was Good?

There was only one thing I liked in this entire film, and that was Johnny Lee Miller’s character, Simon.

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Simon was extremely likable because he was just a regular person thrown into this situation and trying to make sense of it. All his reactions are spot on to when he thinks people are crazy to finally becoming a butt-kicking vampire hunter. He is kind, compassionate, caring, intelligent, and extremely witty.

Marcus: [Simon produces a cross] Sorry sport. I’m an atheist.

Simon Sheppard: [a dagger pops out of the cross’ base] God loves you anyway.

The other thing I like about him was how he represented the everyman or everywoman. Here is a guy who has read old inscriptions, heard stories, studied antique weaponry, etc; but studying and hearing it is much different than having to use it, have the myths be real, and be expected to hunt down vampires. He tries his best as he discovers this new reality, and even though he makes mistakes, all is forgiven as he is us, the viewer, in a sense. I thought he was fun and the best thought out thing in the film.

I like it!

I like it!

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So What Was Bad?

Everything else. Seriously, I mean it. The rest of the film was absolutely horrid.

1) Too Many Stars

Beaucrazyeyesmonstercreature

Like Scre4m it is hard to focus on a plot of a film when you are being hit right and left with people who are really famous. In every scene it felt more like a game of “Which Star Will Pop Up Next” rather than watching a film about Dracula. I mean we have Shane West, Christopher Plummer, Johnny Lee Miller, Omar Epps, Nathan Fillion, Vitamin C, etc. When casting you really have to be careful and not have too many recognizable people, or else your audience will be going bug-eyed.

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2) For a Dracula film there isn’t a lot of Dracula in it.

Dracula

Dracula is supposed to be about Dracula; but Dracula actually has a small role in this film. And unlike previous films, Dracula wasn’t even played by a big star with top billing; instead they choose Gerald Butler who had very little on his acting resume at the time this film was made. To me that is incredibly strange as he is the main character, THE TITLE CHARACTER. He should be the star, the biggest personality. Instead Dracula has very little dialogue and spends most of his time just creepily staring at people.

He's creepin' in your windows. He's starin' at your people.

He’s creepin’ in your windows. He’s starin’ at your people.

I didn’t like that, not one bit. As much as I disliked Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and I did a lot, at least that one knew what to focus on, DRACULA! It was a weird decision made by the writers, and a bad one.

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3) Mary, Mary Quite Boring

Bones David Bored I;m bored boring

Mary was so boring! I mean it what a yawnfest. All she did was cower, snivel, and act as if she was going to have a breakdown. Her character was bland and completely underdeveloped other than “good”, “Catholic”, and “British”. Now don’t get me wrong, the breakdown character can work but only in films where it is about psychological damage, like Rebecca, Gaslight or Under Capricorn, not a monster movie. In this type of film that kind of behavior is boring!

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4) Taking Blood to Live Longer, Yet He Doesn’t Become a Vampire

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In the book Dracula, the way to have someone become a vampire is to give them vampire blood. In this film Van Helsing keeps transfusing vampire blood into his body to live longer, but doesn’t become a vampire. That makes zero sense! If you ingest vampire blood you are a vampire. Pure and simple.

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5) Dracula is Judas

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Yes. It turns out the reason Dracula hates silver, crosses, bibles, Christianity, etc…is because he is Judas.

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Why would God turn him into a vampire? Why would God create a being that cannot be killed but kill his people making their souls unable to move on? That is just unbelievably dumb.

I mean if the devil was the one who did it, it would still be really dumb, but make a lil’ more sense.

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So yes it was dumb, incredibly dumb. Just stupid and horribly boring. My advice? Just skip it.

And after we finished the film, I asked my friend “What do you think of it?” Her response:

You as in the film

You as in the film

So there you go, not just me.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous post, go to I’m…a Werewolf: Teen Wolf (1985)

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For more Dracula, go to We’ve Seen Dracula, the Wolf Man, and Frankenstein’s Monster: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

For more vampire films, go to I Don’t Want to Be a Vampire. I’m a Day Person: Once Bitten (1985)

For more on Judas Iscariot, go to The Arrest

For more modern remakes, go to Heroes are Not Born, They’re Created: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

For more sucky remakes, go to Every Three Thousand Years, the Stars Align. Unleashing an Army of Monsters: TMNT (2007)

For more Gerald Butler, go to Pot o’ Gold: 17 Irish Heroes

I Don’t Want to Be a Vampire. I’m a Day Person: Once Bitten (1985)

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I don’t want to be a vampire. I’m a day person.

My friend found this film months ago on Youtube and thought it was just hilarious. She knew I loved ’80s films and horror and sent the link to me. Unfortunately, the video had been taken down.

Reality Sucks

However, the other day a friend of hers found a copy of it, so we were able to watch it. Now this film is a horror-comedy, Com-Ror, but at the same time being a parody of those teen films from the ’50s, like I Was a Teenage Werewolf, etc.

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Originally the  screen writer wanted Michael J. Fox to star in the film, but the director, Samuel Goldwyn Jr. thought he wouldn’t be able to carry a theatrical film of this scale.

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By the time this film came out, Fox had already starred in Teen Wolf and Back to the Future, both making far more money then this film and cementing Fox’s stardom.

But we aren’t here to talk about those films, we are going to talk about this one.

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The Countess (Lauren Hutton) is nearing her 400th birthday. In her mansion resides: one from early 18th century England, a french sailor, a confederate from the Civil War, her butler and chauffeur from the 1880s,  a WWI pilot, a 1960s flower child, and a set of twins. Every so many years she needs virgin blood to keep her young and beautiful. Three times and the one she has bitten will become a vampire too. That time has come again, but she and her minions are having trouble finding a virgin in 1985 Hollywood.

Countess: How many days left till Halloween, Sebastian?

Sebastian: Oh, a little more than a week, Countess. I told you not to worry.

Countess: Not to worry? How amusing. But then you’re not the one who needs to have the virgin blood of a young man not once, but three times before All Hallows Eve. Not to worry? Being a vampire in the 20th century is a nightmare!

She ponders on what to do, but Sebastian reassures her, they will find a virgin.

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So we are introduce to 18-year-old Mark Kendell (Jim Carrey) and his girlfriend Robin, who live near Hollywood, CA. Mark really wants to have sex, but Robin isn’t ready to do it yet. She wants to wait. Mark is feeling extremely frustrated as he feels as if he is only one who is a virgin.

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I mean come on dude, your best buds haven’t had sex yet and neither has your girlfriend. That’s four right there and there are probably a lot more.

Anyways, so Mark goes to see his friends at the burger joint they work, and these two dudes are quite the crew. One believes he is God’s gift to women and continuously uses the stupidest line to try and pick up women, thinking it will work.

Russ: Hi. I’m Russ, and I’m a Sagittarius. I enjoy surfing, candlelit dinners, and Tolstoy. Listen: I’m a mature person and you’re a mature person, so why don’t we just skip all the bullshit, get rid of our inhibitions, and DO what we really wanna DO?

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The other, Jamie, is Eeyore in human form; always pessimistic and believing the sky is falling.

Reality Sucks

So he goes to his friends and complains about the relationship, Russ telling him that Robin is never going to do it and he should just move on.

What a jerk

What a jerk

Russ then suggests they go find some women to loose their virginity to. They decide to head out to Hollywood and see if they can find some. When I think of Jim Carrey in Hollywood, one film comes to mind…

But I digress, so the group heads to a club called Phone a Date. You pick a table, phone one of the other tables by the numbers assigned to them, and ask to come on over. It actually is kind of a cute idea.

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As long as the person on the other end isn’t a serial killer or creep.

So boys try it out: with Russ first getting a transvestite, then getting rejected, and finally someone calling Mark over. By this time the boys are extremely hammered, having consumed 4 beers each. When Mark walks over, the woman is the Countess.

OhNOthisisgonnabebad

She gives him champagne and starts coming on to him, but Mark isn’t really interested in going home with her. He pretty much is out of it, actually. Meanwhile, his friends have two older ladies who are interested in them. They start talking and having fun, when one of the ladies’ husband comes, yells at the boys, and then starts shooting the club up.

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Mark freaks out, and the Countess convinces him to come with her, taking him up to her mansion. Meanwhile, the guy is arrested and the friends are taken off too.

Back at the house, the Countess gives Mark even more champagne. She goes upstairs to get ready, and comes back prepared to feast!

After he is bitten, Mark passes out. The next day he is awakened by Sebastian and the Countess. Mark leaves and promises that he will call and the two can meet up again sometime, but has no real plans to see her anymore. He has a girlfriend, and he is happy to finally lost his virginity.

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But he feels really weird. He starts eating raw meat, even though he’s only loved well-done food. He also can’t remember a thing that’s happened.

His friends ask him what happened and he tells them in the crowded quad, right where his girlfriend is.

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She of course become angry with him for cheating on her and breaks up with him.

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Robin Pierce: Oh Mark, I can’t believe you’re going to throw away our relationship on a one-night stand with a chauffeur and a butler and a slut who eats buttons! But you did. You really did! [takes ring off her fingerYou can have your d*** ring back!

Mark Kendall: What am I supposed to do with it?

Robin Pierce: Use your imagination!

 Mark’s weird behavior continues as he wants to sleep in trunks, looks pale, wears sunglasses all the time, and just acts vampireish.

Dracula

He starts having these strange dreams where the Countess is in, but he doesn’t want her. He doesn’t call her like he said he would but tries to get back with Robin.

pretty please beg

Robin accepts his apology and everything is all right again.

Majorly

That night Mark and his friends head downtown. Russ and Jamie try again to pick up on women, but it doesn’t turn out well. Russ hits on a dominatrix and Jamie…well I don’t know what he said but it sure wasn’t good.

Mark goes to Robin’s work and picks out some clothes to try on, black of course.

Black is best

Black is best

While he is in the dressing room, who should appear but the Countess. Mark tries to get rid of her as he isn’t interested, but she won’t take no for an answer. She bites him again. This film actually reminds me of Fatal Attraction, as the morals of both stories: Don’t cheat in a relationship and don’t try to have a one night stand.

So Mark passes out and Robin takes him home. The next day he is acting even stranger. He looks more like a Vampire, can barely tolerate light, wears only black, drinks blood, etc. Then when he tries to sell some ice-cream, he…

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Mark becomes extremely worried, and goes to the nearby Catholic Church to ask for help. Unfortunately, a drunkard steps into the confessional and tell him he’s screwed.

Reality Sucks

Mark is continuously haunted by the Countess and starts to really become frightened with the idea that he might become a vampire.

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I really liked the dream sequence as it was reminiscent of Dracula (1931).

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Soon it will be Halloween but as it falls on a weekend, they are having a pre-Halloween party.

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Mark and Robin were supposed to go as Jack and Jill, but Mark couldn’t get the costume so he dressed like he normally does. But everyone thinks he is a vampire.

Dracula

While Robin and Mark are dancing, the Countess comes in and tries to control Mark into going with her. But Robin doesn’t like people messing with her man.

that girl is going after my man she is going to wish she was never born

And this resorts in one of the best scenes, a dance-off.

Afterwards, Mark has a bit of a freakout and takes off, Robin chasing after him. She tries to calm him down. His reflection disappears and Mark tells Robin everything. Robin is weirded out, but when she doesn’t see his reflections, she starts to believe it. So she heads out to do some research.

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She finds out that in order to know if he has been bitten by a female vampire, all you need to do is check the inner thigh for a bite mark. So of course she asks Mark and finds out that yes, he has been bit.

Majorly

Majorly

Instead she asks his friends to find out for her, to look at him. They don’t want to but she guilt trips them into doing it, telling them that if they are really his friends they would look.

Why not ask?

Why not ask?

So they ask Mark.

Majorly

Majorly

Instead they try to look at him in the shower, resulting…well I guess I didn’t have to say it, you know it won’t turn out well.

Mark Kendall: What was that scene in the shower all about?

Russ: That’s the thanks I get for trying to help out a friend?

Mark Kendall: Oh you’re a big help, thanks a lot. Did it ever occur to you guys that maybe you could’ve asked me?

Jamie: Oh my God!

The way Jamie says that reminds me of Arnold in Troll 2.

So they see Robin in the parking lot when she is abducted by the Countess and her gang. You see tonight is Halloween and the Countess needs the third bite or she will revert to showing her true age. Mark is worried about something happening to Robin so he heads over there, aided by Jamie and Russ.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

When they get there they find Robin tied up and let her out, but the whole thing…

The vampires capture them and take them upstairs, where they get ready to get the last bite and turn Mark into a vampire. Mark doesn’t want to:

imadaypersononcebitten

The Countess starts trying to control him, but Robin isn’t going to lose her man. She jumps in the middle with a cross, the friends grabbing fire, and they free him.

Count Dracula: Van Helsing. [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula] Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country. Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy. Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived. Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life. Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night. Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart. Count Dracula: Come here. [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing] Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing. [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him] Count Dracula: More wolfbane? Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count. Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

[Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him]
Count Dracula: More wolfbane?
Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count.
Count Dracula: Indeed. [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

Then the chase is on!

In the end there is only one thing left to do to save Mark.

All, besides the vampires, are happy. Mark scored, Jamie scored, Russ scored, Robin scored.

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I really enjoyed this film and I thought it was pretty hilarious, although having Hocus Pocus level anti-virginity theme. But a  lot of fun to watch and sure to be a fun film to watch this season.

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To start Horrorfest V from the beginning, go to Who You Gonna Call?: Ghostbusters (1984)

For the previous, go to I Came Upon a Shattered Glass Jar and Four Baby Turtles Crawling into a Strange Glowing Ooze: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

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For more ’80s films, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

For more Jim Carrey, go to I Can Be Your Best Friend Or Your Worst Enemy: The Cable Guy (1996)

For more vampires, go to Every Time I Bring a Girl Over, You Try to Eat Her!: Vampires Suck (2010)

For more teen horror films, go to I’m the Chosen One. And I Choose to be Shopping: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

For more Horror-Comedies, go to A Modern Mummy: Under Wraps (1997)

For more Horror Parodies, go to Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)

To Kill a Fangirl

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you kill a fangirl? Well there are quite a few ways: Let’s see…1) Kill off their favorite characters/have them leave the series

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

2) Have the wrong people end up together.

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3) Stop writing/take show off the air, especially if it ends without a finale

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4)When the character changes, does things they never would do

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5) When they start repeating the same things over and over

RIP Randy! Love you forever!!!!!!!

6) Season Finale/Last book that just ends, without tying everything up

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I could go on, but that’s not what this post is really about. Instead it is one of my fandom posts, about the fandoms I am in.

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So here we go!

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Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers

POWER RANGERS!!!! HECK YEAH!

I love it

Growing up the Power Rangers were awesome! Regular kids chosen to fight aliens and protect the earth, transforming into the Power Rangers and riding in robots called Zords.

My friends and I used to act out the adventures in the TV show, along with creating our own. My favorite was Kimberly, the pink ranger.

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And I loved Tommy the Green Ranger/Gold Ranger. He first starts off as bad, recruited to destroy the Rangers, but then redeems himself. He ends up losing his powers, and the Green Ranger is gone, coming back as the extremely awesome Gold Ranger. Not only was Tommy the best fighter, with the coolest weapons (eventually becoming the leader) but he was also super hot. I had such a crush on him.

swoon dreamy

They made a movie, The Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie, were they had to fight a creature so terrible, Ivan Ooze, he takes down Zordon. I just loved that movie so much as a kid. I used to watch it over and over again.

watch movie over and over

I had the whole film memorized and we used to act it out all the time. In fact I remember getting in trouble once with a parent for dismantling the brooms so that one of us could have the noise sticks that Dulcea uses.

I watched Power Rangers up until Power Rangers: Mystic Force. When Kimberly and Jason left and they brought in Cat, it went down hill for me. The other seasons were alright, but the only one that was any good being Dino Thunder because they brought Tommy back.

I heard they are doing a movie reuniting most of the original cast and I hope they do!

pretty please beg

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The Partridge Family

So if you just read these fandom posts, you probably think I am some immortal being a teen in the ’70s as well as the ’90s; from all these ’70s shows I used to watch. Nope, I’m not a time traveler or vampire, I loved TV LAND, yep I used to watch it back when they showed old TV shows.

This show stared Shirley Jones as Shirley Partridge, widowed mother of five. When her kids want to try a record deal, she goes along and before you know it, they are a hit. They get a manager, a bus, and go touring all over the country.

This show also starred David Cassidy, Jones’ stepson, as the eldest child and heartthrob.

hot pretty sexy

I used to watch it every day and knew all the songs by The Partridge Family by heart. In fact this show had such a huge impact on me, that when I saw David Cassidy was going to be in a new musical series, Ruby & The RockitsIt was horrible writing, but I suffered through for my childhood nostalgia.

NostalgiaforWorldNeverKnown

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 The Rocky Series

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Aw Rocky. How I love you, and all your films. Well, except Creed as I have yet to see it. I started watching these films one 4th of July weekend when AMC had a marathon. I watched one, then another and another and another.

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And I loved them. Sylvester Stallone did a great job with this series.

Rocky (1976)

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So let my start by wishing this film a very happy anniversary as it will be turning 40 on November 21st.

So the film Rocky was Slyvester Stallone’s first film. He was struggling as an actor, homeless, only having $106, and had even sold his dog. When the company was interested he wouldn’t give the script up until they agreed to have him as the star. They declined, but when they couldn’t get the script, they finally agreed.

It was shot in 28 days and had an extremely little budget. Stars had to share rooms, they filmed the street scenes guerilla style and with no permits or extras. Most of the wardrobe was furnished by the actors, and ones purchased were wrong. The lack of money for extras, caused them to rewrite some scenes and make due.

But not only was it nominated for Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Screenplay, Best Sound, & Best Original Song; and won Best Picture, Best Director, & Best Film Editing: but it was the highest grossing film of the year. Not bad Stallone, not bad.

So Rocky is the story of Robert “Rocky” Balboa, a man who dreams of becoming a boxer star, going the distance, but has yet to get his chance. He works as an enforcer for a loan shark, but is too nice a guy to actually “enforce”. Everything changes when boxing star Apollo Creed decides that he wants to box an ordinary joe, giving a nobody the chance to be a somebody, and choosing Rocky. While Rocky works out for the chance of a lifetime, he dates his best friend’s sister, Adrian, becoming one of the sweetest couples in film history.

This story is not only amazing uplifting, as everyone can connect to a man trying to achieve his dreams, it has some truly poetic and realistic scenes. Besides the ice-skating with Adrian, and running up the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum (so great it gets parodied again and again), but the fact that Stallone choose to have Rocky loose the fight; showing his achievements in trying to be the true victory is truly poignant and fantastic.

This also had the incredible song, Gonna Fly Now written by Bill Conti as it’s theme. How can you not be inspired when listening to that?

Rocky II

After the first film, Apollo is angry at the way that Rocky held his own against him in the match. Apollo demands a rematch, as he wants to peove that he is the true champ, Rocky just a fluke. Meanwhile, since the fight Rocky has been boosted in popularity. He doesn’t want to fight Apollo again, but due to his goading and Rocky’s lack of money, he agrees. Can he truly go the distance? Can he be a contender?

Rocky III

This is the first of the film series to have a Survivor song in it, this one of course having the amazing Eye of the Tiger.

So it has been three years since Rocky II. Since then Rocky has had successful fights and an increase in wealth for him and his family. As they are unveiling a statue of him, he gets called out by Clubber Lang, played by Mr. T. When Rocky questions Mickey, he discovers that Clubber Lang’s accusations were correct. His fights were handpicked to protect him. Rocky doesn’t want to fight Lang, but when he pushes Mickey and causes him to have a heart attack, dying, Rocky knows he has no other chance then to avenge Mickey’s death. He asks Apollo Creed to train him, and the two team up to get that “eye of the tiger” back.

Rocky IV

Ivan Drago (Dolph Lungren) is a 6’5 Russian Boxer brought to America to promote the U.S.S.R.’s superiority. They throw out a challenge that he can beat anyone, and Apollo agrees to an exhibition match. Apollo arrives with a huge show stopping number done by James Brown. Drago doesn’t take this match as “just an exhibition” and kills Creed. With his best friend dead, Rocky decides he must avenge his death, traveling to Russia to fight Drago there.

Rocky V

After the fight with Drago, Rocky decides to retire from boxing. He had some permanent damage from the fight, and to add to the bad news he lost all his money due to a bad accountant. Rocky turns to training boxers, taking in a young guy off the street, Tommy Gunn. He helps him, and as Gunn starts moving up the ranks he catches the eye of another manager and leaves Rocky behind. Rocky is upset at the betryal, but Adraian tells him that Gunn is not worth it, as he doesn’t have any real heart. Gunn decides the only way to prove his true mettle is to take down Rocky. He tries to get him to fight, but Rocky won’t. When Gunn takes a sock at Paulie, Rocky changes his mind and starts training to cut him down.

Rocky Balboa (Rocky VI)

The sixth film takes place 20 years after the fifth film. One of the reasons Stallone decided to make this film, was that many people were dissatisfied with the ending of Rocky V, as it didn’t have a true wrap up to the series. In this Rocky is a widower, with an Italian resturant. He is in deep grief over the death of Adrian and has a struggling relationship with his son who wishes to be not known as Rocky’s son or have any connection to boxing. He reunites with grown up “Little Marie” from Rocky (1976).  Meanwhile ESPN has done a Deadliest Warrior type show in which they analyze boxers from past, running the stats, victories, and teaming them up with present boxers. When Rocky wins against Mason “The Line” Dixon, Dixon gets enraged and Rocky decides to take up boxing again. This prompts the fight of fights as the two head off.

A lot of people didn’t like this film, but I thought it was a cute shout out to the fans. I loved the way they decided to conclude it. If Rocky had lost the fight, it would have been horrible as no one wants to see an older man get beat up. And if Rocky had won, it would have been unbelievable. Having a tie was not only a call back to the first film’s idea that victory was in trying to achieve your dreams, but also a way to appease all.

As I wrote before I have yet to watch Creed, but I will hit on that when I watch it.

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Scooby-Doo

I LOVED SCOOBY-DOO

I love it

I used to watch Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?13 Ghosts of Scooby-DooA Pup Named Scooby-DooThe New Scooby-Doo Movies (in which Scooby-Doo meets the Harlarm Globetrotters, Cher, Sonny Bono, Batman, Robin, Josie & the Pussycats, etc.), The New Scooby-Doo, What’s New Scooby-Doo.

My favorite of course was Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?. I used to watch the show all the time and had four birthday parties be Scooby-Doo themed. I had a huge collection of Scooby-Doo toys, from my own mystery machine and multiple Scooby-Doos; to a clock, clothes, books, and almost anything else you can think of.

fangirl casual fan diehard fan consume me love it

I also was a fan of the Scooby-Doo films. I loved Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School, Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf, Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers, Scooby-Doo! in Arabian Nights, Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island, Scooby-Doo and the Alien Invaders, Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase, etc.

I saw the two Scooby-Doo theatrical films and thought they were okay. The first had an alright storyline, but I didn’t like the thought of “real monsters” and felt they didn’t capture the heart of the show. Besides Freddie Prinze Jr. as Fred Jones and Sarah Michelle Geller as Daphne, I was sorely disappointed.

Something is not right!

So let’s talk about the characters:

Fred Jones

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Fred Jones was the leader of the teen group. He was always eager to get involved in a mystery and was a keen observer. His take charge attitude always made him be the one to figure out a plan to catch the cause of the crime, although Scooby or Shaggy’s antics would usually mess them up. He was the “straight man of the group” the one who complimented the crazy antics of Scooby and Shaggy, along with being the rock of the group.

Daphne Blake

makehimpayhairDaphneScoobyDoo

Daphne Blake is often thought of as the beautiful socialite who was only interested in looks and getting kidnapped. That is not true! While Daphne tends to be the one that got captured, if anyone gets kidnapped, it didn’t happen in every episode. She was also ntelligent, proving her worth in solving the crimes, alongside Fred and Velma.

*Fun Fact*-The Mystery Machine was actually Daphne’s 16th Birthday present. Why Fred is the one driving, I don’t know.

Velma Dinkley

Velma_Werewolves

Velma is the brain of the group, being the researcher and the one to find the final clue that ties everything together. Unlike Daphne, she is a more comedic character; having puns and great sarcastic wit. She also was always losing her glasses, struggling to see; they usually found by whatever creature they are hunting or her searching for them causing that creature to trip over her.

Norville “Shaggy” Rogers

Scooby-Doo

Now contrary to popular belief, Shaggy is not a drug addict. The creators of the show were trying to hit every group when they made the show; Fred the jock, Daphne the princess, Velma the brain, etc. As Shaggy can’t be the criminal, because they are solving crimes, they wanted him to be the type of new culture coming out that “surfer-“hey man”-hippieish-type-dude”. Shaggy is a sweet guy that is interested in food and music. He is a scaredy-cat, never wanting to get involved with monsters or criminals, but always there in the final stretch. He and Scooby played the comedic roles, always accidentally getting involved with something, accidentally bringing new evidence to light, or accidentally catching the criminals.

Scooby-Doo

scooby-Doo

Scooby-Doo was adopted by Shaggy and is “his” dog, but in reality Scooby doesn’t even consider himself a dog as he is so advanced. Scooby can talk, think, and loves to eat. He often steals somebody’s meal, typically Shaggy. Scooby is a total coward, but in the end will come through for his friends, as long as he is given a Scooby snack. He assists Shaggy with the comedy, helping them accidentally foil any plans made by the criminals. He and Shaggy are the only characters to appear in every TV show & film.

Scooby-Doo-Where-Are-You2

For more on Scooby-Doo, go to A Monster Race: Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (1988)

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For the previous post, go to Portrait of a Fangirl

And Stay tuned for part 19