We’re Stranded on a Ship in the Middle of the Ocean with a Killer!: High Seas (2019)

We’re stranded on a ship in the middle of the ocean with a killer!

So I saw the trailer for this on Netflix and instantly added it to my to-watch list.

It looked so good!

One day my friend and I were hanging out trying to find something to watch when I suggested this. We started watching it and could NOT stop! And that ending, WOW!

Fridays are when I review TV episodes, but as this show can’t be broken episode by epiode, I’m reviewing the whole first season. I did the same thing last year with American Gothic. So the show is actually filmed in Spanish, its real name being Alta Mar, but you can listen to it with the English (or other language) voiceover. I have to say they did really good with this, there are only a few times that it didn’t sync up.

So the TV series takes place in Spain after WWII.  The cruise ship is departing from Spain to Brazil. Carolina (Alejandra Onieva) and Eva Villanueve (Ivana Baquero) are headed on an Ocean Cruise liner as Carolina is getting married. Their father passed away two years ago and after his death she discovered that their shoe factory trucks were used to aid the Nazis during WWII. With that news, coupled with her father’s death-Carolina decided to sell the business. Instead, after their marriage she will join her fiancé, Fernando Fábregas (Eloy Azorín), cruise business.

Eva is a writer and is happy for her sister, but sad that the family business ended, and she will be separated from her sister-as she will be in Brazil and her sister will be traveling. She doesn’t like Fernando as something doesn’t feel right about him, but when she investigated a rumor that he was a gambler, she turned up nothing.

As they are driving with their maids Francesca and Veronica de García when they hit a woman in the street.

They rush out to help her and she tells them she is being chased by her fiancé. She doesn’t wish to marry him, but he wants her and has decided he must have her or no one can. She is intent on getting away, and getting on the ship.

Carolina, Francesca, and Veronica want to give her over to the police-but Eva wants to help her and convinces them all to smuggle the girl, Louisa, on the ship in their travel trunk.

Hmm, I don’t know about this…

When they get on board the ship they meet the Captain and the first officer, Nicolás Vázquez (Jon Kortajarena). Nicolás is very interested in Eva, but she shrugs him off trying to get the trunk to her room. When questioned why the rest of their luggage remains below, Eva deftly comments on how Carolina is the owner’s bride.

They get to the room where they free Louisa, and she and the maids go to their rooms down below. Francesca loves the Ladies, having been like a mother to them-but Veronica does not. Having grown up playing with the girls and is now serving them-she is very unhappy at her lot an does not want to be a servant, she wants to be more.

I have to work

Veronica helps the ladies dress for dinner and remains in the room, seeing a man try to break in. He claims to have mistaken it as his room, but Veronica is unsure. She leaves, but does not go down to steerage.

Or on this cruise ship.

Meanwhile, Louisa and Francesca are in the room, and Louisa grabs a vase and knocks Francesca out. She then escapes to the Carolina and Eva’s room and starts going through their things. The man comes back from before and he and Louisa fight.

Dinner is a wonderful affair, and of course the two ladies are honored guests and sit at the Captain’s table. Carolina gets up and dances with her fiancé Fernando, the two then separating as Carolina wants to change her shoes. Earlier, Fernando had a mysterious message telling him to meet at a certain point at 12, but he lies to Carolina that he is receiving a cable. Suspicious.

Eva goes out for some air and is followed by Nicolaus, who is really interested in her. He flirts and things are leaning his way when they hear a woman scream from above and a body hit the water.

Eva is worried about her sister and goes searching for her, finding the room a mess. She continues to search and finds her in steerage aiding Francesca.

The girl’s search their room but can’t tell what is missing. While they are doing that, the crew searches for the body and only find a dress-the one Louisa was wearing.

That is not good,

Eva and Caroline come clean about what happened and everyone wants to hush it up. Fernando has a lot riding on his ship and can’t have it be known as the Murder Cruise or else all is lost.

They say it was an accident, and everyone but Eva and Nicolaus believe that to be true. The two begin investigating.

This will be a dangerous voyage as Eva has no clue who to trust and wants to do everything she can to protect her family and find justice.

Nazis, arson, shady deals, dark secrets, three deaths, a murder masked as suicide, and more combine in this show as we have a wonderful cast of characters.

WATCH IT NOW!!

Nicolas is the dashing first officer and the one who was with Eva when they heard the body fall. He is kind, caring, funny, handsome, and intent on finding justice as well. He used to be a street thief until Captain Santiago Aguirre found him and enlisted him on the ship. He seems to be the perfect one to trust-the Tommy to her Tuppence, but Eva discovers that he has a secret-can she really trust anything he says?

The fiancé-Fernando. He I really do not like as he didn’t meet Carolina when she arrived, when she comes to see him pretty much ignores her for work, and just seems altogether shady. The way he wraps the case up pinning it on an innocent steerage passenger, pretends to be robbed-throwing his rings over the boat and lies about the telegram-having received none. Is there something darker going on with him? Or is he the murderer?

Fernando’s sister and her husband are also on the cruise and they are very strange. Natalia is always drunk, unfocused, and a shadow of a person while her husband just exudes bad feelings. His is also unfaithful as he immediately sets his sights on the lounge singer, Clara. He promises to help her, then rapes her-making her promise not to say anything or he will rip her to shreds. No wonder his wife is the way she is-married to that guy. Clara is not the first and could he have been after Louisa too? Or was he involved in the shady business dealings with the Nazis and want to keep that from being found out. He is extremely eager to get to Brazil.

I HATE this character!

Eva and Carolina’s uncle, Pedro Villanueva has been watching over them and being there ever since their fathr’s death. He, their father, and Doctor Rojas used to be business partners. Was their father killed in an accident…or murdered? Murdered by their uncle or longtime family friend? They are both nervous and trying to search the girls things for some microfiche. What’s on that film?

Hmmm

Veronica wants more in life than being a maid and Sebastián de la Cuesta, rich and famous playboy, pays a lot of attention to her…but is he honest in his feelings? Is he just playing with her heart-using and losing, or does he really feel for her? It turns out Sebastian is bankrupt and trying to hide it from all. Could that be all he’s hiding. Could he be involved in something nefarious? Something he wants to keep hidden?

Hmmm…

Dimas Gómez is the sweetest guy, working as valet to Sebastian and also interested in Veronica. He has an idea to turn cane sugar into ethanol. He presents his idea to Sebastian (who may or may not steal it) and pretends to be Veronica’s sweetheart so her mother doesn’t discover she is sleeping with Sebastian. He seems like a great guy, but he was the roommate of the man who confessed to killing Louisa. Is he more involved in this than he lets on?

Hmm…

Plus to top it off we have a Captain who lost his wife and is very suicidal, a skulky crewm ember with a mysterious burned face, and a ship detective who doesn’t care about solving the crime.

And that’s not all, this show will have so many other twists and turns, once you start watching you will not want to stop!

So this movie reminded me a lot of Dangerous Crossings with the cruise ships, wedding, suspicious guy skulking about, being unsure who to trust. And just like that movie I really, really liked it. It was extremely compelling and the characters are amazing.

I couldn’t help but compare this to American Gothic which I reviewed last year. American Gothic had a great idea, but fell apart in the middle as it would lead is in one direction, then have an episode that turned it back on itself saying that it was false and this was the answer…oh wait, no that’s false-this is the answer, making it not enjoyable and obvious you couldn’t trust the show.

With this, it was done like Twin Peaks or Veronica Mars with each episode adding to the solving of the mystery. There were twists and turns along the way, and was amazing to watch!

YOU MEAN, THIS ONE

And the other reason to watch this? The CLOTHES!! THE CLOTHES are GORGEOUS!!! I want everything Eva and Carolina wear. Even the  guys’ clothing are beautiful.

I want to buy all the clothes!!!!

This film is also a Non-Austen Film for Austen Fans

Yes, I think that this is a perfect film for Austen fans.

At the center of the mystery is the love sisters have for each other. Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility are both stories that focus on sisterly bonds and friendship. Even though these two sisters have been doing other things, they have reunited and care strongly for each other. Their first thoughts are whether they are okay-and doing all they can to make sure that their sister is taken care of and safe-sometimes hiding things to keep them from being put in danger. In P&P and S&S the sisters were each other’s best friends and always there for each other, just like in this film.

In this show Carolina is poisoned and Eva stands vigil doing all she can to help and aid her sister-Just like Elizabeth caring for Jane or Elinor caring for Marianne.

Carolina reminds me of Jane-beautiful, kind, caring, always thinking the best of people even though they clearly do not deserve it. She is the older sister, but often falls way to the younger sister’s persuasion.

Eva made me think of Catherine Morland: a reader, strong imagination, an investigative spirit. Like how Catherine searches out the Abbey for clues to the murder she believes to have happened there-Eva does the same on the ship. Except in Eva’s case there actually is a murder! Eva doesn’t automatically make me think of Elizabeth but she is just as stubborn and not interested in the main love interest…at least at first.

Nicolas and Eva’s interactions again make me think of Catherine and Mr. Tilney. Like Mr. Tilney-Nicolas is fun, witty, kind, and makes his interest known. Their interactions are fantastic banter.

VIctoria, Sebastian, and Deemis’ love triangle make me think of Isabella Thorpe, Captain Tilney, and James Morland. In Northanger Abbey, Isabella comes from not a super wealthy family and is on the prowl for a wealthy man. She catches James Morland, Catherine’s brother, believing the Morland’s are wealthier than they are but exchanges him for a larger quarry-Captain Tilney. Captain Tilney is not interested in settling down and after sleeping with Isabella, is done with her. Now Victoria, like Isabella, does not want a second class passenger, she wants first class. She has the love of a good man, Deemis, but she won’t even bother with him as she wants someone with and from more. But Sebastian is a famous playboy, and we see after sleeping with her he uses the same lines on another lady.

And the final reason why this made me think of Austen’s works and why you should watch this?

Yes, the very handsome officers. Mrs. Bennet, Lydia Bennet, Louisa Musgrove, Henrietta Musgrove, and Anne Elliot would all approve.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans, go to Non-Austen Films for Austen Fans: The Buccaneers, Episodes 3-5

For more mystery cruises, go to I Do Think You Are Confused Mrs. Bowman: Dangerous Crossing (1953)

You Can’t Keep a Fangirl Down

Here we go again! I have been having a short break from posting these, but I am dedicated to finish them at last.

Jules Verne

Jules Verne is an incredible author of science fiction. I have loved everything I have read of his work. Besides being an excellent story teller, Verne was just miles ahead with his ideas and inventions. My favorite books are 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Around the World in 80 Days. I think they have the best characters and action of all his books. And if you are interested, I reviewed them in December as part of my 30 Day Challenge.

If you haven’t picked up one of his books, you should today.

For more Jules Verne, go to The Great Depths of the Ocean are Entirely Unknown to Us: Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

Longmire

Who loves westerns?

ME!!!

Yep, I do. So when I hear of a Western TV show, I immediately want to check it out and see if it something I would love. Like this show.

I started watching this show with my sister and fell in love with the characters and the setting. I had lived in Wyoming for four months and thought it was beautiful, so seeing it here; not only do I understand the culture and people but where they go in the show.

The TV show is based off a book series in which Walt Longmire is sheriff of Absoroka County. In the first season he is trying to work through the grief of his wife and fight to keep his job as Sheriff as a deputy is campaigning against him. Walt loves to read and is every observant, a Western Sherlock Holmes.

Besides that, he has to deal with a tribal chief that hates him (since he was the one who put away the previous chief, a dirty cop) and a corrupt and clever buisnessman who would like to remove him.

Besides the character of Longmire, we have his best friend Henry Standing Bear played by Lou Diamond Phillips. I love Phillips/Henry! The way he talks, his manners…oh just everything about his, he is fantastic! He often helps Longmire out whenever a case involes the reservation or has something to do with Native American cultures.

Besides them you have the adorable Deputy Ferg, who is just a cute, cuddly, bear of a guy. Then there is Deputy Branch Connelly, who is the son of the most powerful man, but does his best to forge his own path and fight against the control of his father. Then there is Deputy Victoria “Vic” Moreitti, ugh I hate her. She is a horrible person and I wish she was the deputy that was written out.

A great show that you should definitely check out.

Raising Hope

My ex-boyfriend showed me this show when we were dating, but he picked the episode near the end of the series, so I was confused and didn’t get it. I kind of decided not to keep watching it as I thought it made no sense.

However, one of my very good friends was really into the show and would put it on every time we would hang out.

So the show is about James Bon Jovi “Jimmy” Chance is in his early twenties and a slacker. He left school before graduating, works for his dad, and spends most of his time getting drunk with his friends.

About life.

His mom and dad, Burt and Virginia, had him when they were in high school and have made a lot of mistakes over the years in raising him as they have no clue in what they are doing. All live with Virginia’s grandmother, Maw Maw, in her house. Maw Maw suffers from dementia and they have to care for her as she swings in and out.

Everything changes when Jimmy has a one night stand that turns out to be a serial killer. Before they give her the death penalty, she gives birth to a daughter, this little girl being given to Jimmy to raise.

What?!

So now they all band together to try and raise this girl, when three of the adults have no clue and one is not in her right mind.

Throw in some other great characters: Sabrina, rich girl trying to “make it on her own” grocery cleck; Barney, the dorky but heart of gold store manager; Frank, a strange coworker; an evil cousin, Delilah; and more.

Will Jimmy be able to raise her right? Or will he make the same mistakes as his parents?

It is hilarious, and the best thing of all: the relationship between Burt and Virginia. They are just the cutest couple ever.

For more on Raising Hope, go to I Only Care That You Succeed: How I Met Your Mullet, Raising Hope (2014)

V

I first became aware of V when they remade the show in 2009. My mother wasn’t pleased as she had been a fan of the original. Well in honor of it, the channel SciFi, now SyFy, decided to show the original V for a whole week. That week it played an endless loop of V.

I was out of school and watched it, continuing with every episode to remain rooted in the couch as I had to watch more. It was that good.

So the show is about these visitors from space who arrive and want to be our friends; assisting us in anything that is needed. However, that proves to be false as we are not their friends, but their prey. Eventually the visitors take over, but there is a collection of people who form the resistance, and fight against the Fascists.

It was a great show and I highly recommend it for any SciFi fan.

Veronica Mars

I started watching this TV show when I spotted it on a list of shows everyone should watch. I saw one episode and was sucked in, finding it hard to stop watching.

Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell) used to be one of the popular crowd as she was daughter of the sheriff and dated the most popular guy in school, the town’s hero and millionaire, Duncan Kane. She is also best friends with his sister, Lily Kane. Everything started going wrong when Duncan just seemed to dump her with no explanation.

Lily sets out to try and find out what is happening, but doesn’t get back to her on why. She ends up being murdered. Veronica’s dad, Keith Mars, starts searching into what happened, and when he arrests Lily’s father for the crime: he is ousted from his office, his wife leaves him, and both he & Veronica become pariahs.

Instead of leaving town, the two stay and her father starts a private detective business. Veronica helps, even though her father doesn’t really want her to. With every episode she solves a crime, while the whole season she searches for who the real killer is, not believing the guy they arrested is the real guy.

I loved the first season, as the second and third were sadly just not as good. But that first one was fantastic!

The Veronica Mars Movie was also great as it was just what the fans wanted. It tied everything up just perfectly.

While I started watching for mysteries and great characters, I continued to fall in love with them and the Veronica Mars + Logan.

At first Logan has been cruel with his anger and hurt over everything that happened with Lily-her cheating on him, her death, Veronica’s father not solving the crime. However, the two become friends again when Veronica helps Logan look for his mom. We see Logan becoming the person he was before again. Things come to a head when Logan saves her from gunpoint, with them making out, and later dating. They keep their dating a secret at first, but when the secret is out we see that Logan has decided that the things he cared about before; popularity and status, aren’t nearly as important as the girl he loves. She’s his girl and if anyone has issues with her, they need to get out the door. I just love the two of them! So cute!

For more on Veronica Mars, go to I Don’t Care What You Think, She’s My Girl: A Trip to the Dentist, Veronica Mars (2005)

For the previous post, go to The FANtom Menance

And Stay tuned for part 27

 

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

Day 26) Z is for Zombie: Choose a Zombie Retelling of a Classic Novel

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies #1) by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

When I saw what Z stood for I knew that this was going to be the book I was going to review for it. First of all I have read very little Zombie themed books as that is just not really what I am in to. And secondly, pass up a chance to talk about Jane Austen?

So I remember when this book was first released. It was right as the teen book world was moving out of wizards (Harry Potter) and Vampires (Twlight, Vampire Diaries, Vampire Academy, etc.), and was searching for a new thing to fill this niche. They settled on Zombies.

But not just Zombies. They decided to take it one step further and pair it with Jane Austen.

And not just her. After this book, almost every classic was getting some kind of overhaul. We had Little Vampire Women, Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters, Jane Eyre: Vampire Slayers, etc.

It was a pretty bad time.

Anyways, back to this book. So when it first came out it was a big hit. Everyone was talking about it. Everyone was reading it. The library was backlogged in holds.

I wasn’t really interested until my friend Elise recommended it to me. She really liked it and told me she would let me borrow her book. I was a bit wary as I didn’t understand why Austen needed any “makeover” or “spin” as her books were amazing the way they are. But I’m a sucker for a free book and borrowed it.

I should have remembered:

So I read it. And how did I feel afterwards?

You suck!

I HATED this book. I thought it was badly done and the parts inserted by Seth Grahame-Smith were horribly written. And a lot of it made no sense.

But that was seven years ago. Could I still feel the same way?

Let’s see!

13 Days Later

I HATE THIS BOOK!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS HORRIBLE! JUST HORRIBLE? HOW CAN PEOPLE LIKE IT? THEY RUIN AUSTEN. Grahame-Smith IS HORRIBLE! EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT….I could go on for hours.

But you don’t want to hear that over and over, instead let’s dissect everything I hated about this book.

A) So Seth Grahame-Smith takes Jane Austen’s work and doesn’t really write a new story but just swaps out pieces for zombies.

Really?

B) Mr. Bennet’s Motivation

So the first biggest problem is Mr. Bennet not wanting his daughters married but “engaged in the deadly arts”. But that doesn’t change that the house and money all revert to their cousin because the estate is entailed.

So if these girls don’t get married how will they live?

Seriously

C) Mr. Bennet Hates His Children

And the way Mr. Bennet hates his daughters? He didn’t hate them in the original book. He thought they were silly and not worth his time, but he didn’t have an outright hatred for them like in here.

That’s not how it was in the book!

D) The “Warrior” Code

In this world “the warrior code demanded she avenge her honor” for the insult that Darcy gave her when he said she wasn’t handsome enough for her. If they can kill for that why didn’t Darcy just kill Wickham?

ooh!

I mean it makes no sense. Yeah, he doesn’t want what happened to his sister to taint her or make her an outcast in society, but in this world you can kill someone for an insult. Why didn’t he just kill Wickham and make up that he said an insult. The rules of this world just don’t work.

E) Elizabeth is a Jerk

Lizzie is so freakin’ cruel. She is incredibly mean to her sisters and everyone around her. Just downright cruel.

F) More “Rules” of Society That Don’t Make Sense

It is “unladylike” to bring more serious weapons than daggers and knives to a ball, but is okay for them to kill, flip around, kicking and showing off their lady parts (no underwear like us), etc. Wow Grahame-Smith you aren’t confusing at all.

G) No Knowledge of Martial Arts

Does Grahame-Smith know anything about martial arts? He has Elizabeth get into a crane position to attack the zombies, but then does a chop on the thigh. That makes no sense at all. Crane positions are for kicking, kicking! Why would you get ready like that and then chop on the leg? It is completely weird and wasteful of energy.

H) None of the Characters Have a Heart

Mrs Bennet says all Charlotte Lucas deserves is a “crust of bread washed down with a cup of loneliness.” You see? Grahame-Smith is so cruel. None of these people were that mean. They all had faults but they wren’t downright heartless. How does removing the heart and soul of the characters make them better? Huh, Grahame-Smith? How. Well I’ll tell you, it doesn’t. It makes it horrible.

Or an author

I) Mr. Bennet is Abusive

Seriously, the way Mr. Bennet talks to his wife is downright abusive. Thanks Grahame-Smith for ruining a fantastic book.

J) You Need to Reevaluate Your Career Choices

All the girls say that they could make great lives as assassins, bodyguards, or mercenaries. Really? Really? You think with all those in the military eventually coming out of the service that won’t be a problem? And how many people need a bodyguard or assassin? And if they are rich enough to hire assassins, bodyguards or mercenaries, why wouldn’t they just get ninjas from Japan or something? And to top it all off you are really only trained to kill zombies, not people. Slow moving, barely threatening zombies. Not the same thing at all. You don’t have the same training for the others.

K) You Can Pretty Much Kill Anyone for Anything

Mary almost kills Mr. Collins when he insinuates that one of them did the cooking. Now, don’t get me wrong, that is a serious insult. He implies that they are so poor they have to take on the role of a servant putting them on the same level of a domestic. But hey, if that is open for murder why didn’t Darcy just kill Wickham? I mean seriously, I just keep circling back to that.

Eh?

L) People Do Not Understand the Levels of Class

I hate how everyone praises that Mr. Bennet says the girls aren’t trained in the kitchen but are trained as warriors. Only one problem, they were never trained for the kitchen. They were too wealthy for that. I blame the Pride & Prejudice (2005), in which they are made to look really dirty,  muddy, with animals running all over the place. They made them look really poor, but the Bennet family wasn’t. They were well-off; the only problem was the estate was entailed and the wealth they had wasn’t theirs to keep, like in Sense & Sensibility. And the reason there is an issue with marrying Mr. Darcy is that his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, is in line for the throne. I mean a lot of people would have to die, but still hypothetically she could become the next queen of England. That means it would eventually come down to him, so who he marries is a big deal.

Get it right!!!!!

M) Why Wasn’t There a Duel?

So we have Wickham’s big pack of lies about Darcy and how he dishonored himself and Wickham by not giving him the legacy that was originally promised. One issue with that, if in this world you can kill someone for insults why didn’t Wickham do a duel with Darcy or kill him? Why doesn’t Elizabeth think of that?

N) All the Innuendo

The sexual innuendo. Come on Grahame-Smith, is sex all you think about. I feel like the girls in Grease 2, refocus your mind.

And that’s what makes Austen so great. She didn’t need cheap paltry things. She created a fantastic novel full of great wit and amazing work. Every sentience piece of art, delightful storytelling, Grahame-Smith not so much.

O) Front Lines? You Mean No Lines

Elizabeth writes to her aunt that she is on the front lines of battle and prefers it to marriage, love, and family. Only one issue she’s on the front lines of nothing. She’s just hanging out in the country. Front lines would be the battlefield with the soldiers, but Elizabeth isn’t a soldier! She talks as if hired by crown but why isn’t she paid? And she’s only battling the village zombies she’s not even out there fighting where the hordes are coming from. Get off your high horse.

Seriously

P) Why/Where Did the Zombies Come From?

And that’s another thing that bothers me. Why did this happen? How? Why don;t they ever explain?

Q) Grahame-Smith is a Child

Grahame-Smith is a ten-year old boy. I mean think about it. His obsession with body fluids (poop, pee, vomit, farts, etc.) and likes saying balls as much as he can. It’s the only explanation.

Seriously

R) Charlotte a Zombie?

I hated how they turned Charlotte into a zombie. I thought that was a dumb decision. How can no one notice but Elizabeth? Really?!

S) Fifty-Five? Schfifty-Five

Fifty-Five years of zombie attacks? How are there that many zombies in existence to keep living? Why did zombies even start? Explain!!!!

T) The Battle Scenes are the Worse

Let’s talk about my least favorite part-when Elizabeth fights the ninjas. First the way that Lady Catherine talks about being taught by Ninjas. False, ninjutsu wasn’t something you were taught, but passed through families as they were assassins.

Second Elizabeth fights at least three of them according to the illustration, but when she takes the time to strangle one with its own intestine why didn’t the other ninjas kill her?

Really?

The second ninja she blocks the throwing stars, and then grabs the last one midair and throws it back unharmed. You grab something moving that fast that sharp, no way. She would have cut her hand. And hands bleed like crazy.

The third ninja she just throws her katana and kills him. That easy?! Really Catherine with all her money and fame, that’s the best she could hire.

Oh, and I forgot. Elizabeth did that all blindfolded. Hmm, maybe she was hit by the same radioactive stuff that Daredevil was hit with because I don’t think she could have done that.

U) Elizabeth is a Cannibal?

She rips the heart out of the ninja and starts eating it. First that is serious zombie signs right there, I would have killed her. And second, eating human parts, i.e. a cannibal, makes you go crazy and get extremely sick. She should be totally insane right now.

I’m crazy

V) Grahame-Smith’s Mind

Ball joke after ball joke and now fingering? Austen is rolling over in her grave. If she became a zombie and hunted Grahame-Smith down, I wouldn’t mind at all.

W) Why Won’t They Explain About the Zombies?

They travel to the Orient multiple times? Is the zombie plague just in Europe? Western Europe? In America as well? It would be nice if Grahame-Smith gave a moment to EXPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

X) Who?

On pg. 169 Jane and Elizabeth punish Catherine? Catherine who? Do they mean Kitty? Why call her Catherine suddenly? Strange.

Y) Grahame-Smith Does Not Understand Women or Sisters

Elizabeth dreams of cutting off Lydia’s head? Really? Grahame-Smith doesn’t really know how to write female characters or sisters. First he has Elizabeth being mean to Jane, then Mary, and then Lydia. So completely cruel. And that is one of my biggest problems with this book. I hate Elizabeth! She is mean, cruel, harsh, rude, judgmental, and just downright nasty. I dislike her and don’t want to read more about her as I just can’t stand her. Yes Grahame-Smith, you actually took a character I lived and made me hate her. Good job.

Z) Not Hatred, Circumstances

In this book Grahame-Smith makes Mr. Bennet hate Mrs. Bennet as he finds her stupid and dumb. That’s not how it was in the real book. Mr. Bennet married Mrs. Bennet and didn’t realize that they werent well suited until much later on. They lived well together, spending all the money as no need to save, they will have sons. When no sons came each went to the opposite extreme. Mrs. Bennet became so worried and crazed over her “failure” that she threw all her efforts into trying to catch husbands. That’s why she puts the girls “out” all at once, she wants them settled as soon as possible or they will be worse off then the Dashwood sisters. Mr. Bennet took the failure of no male heir and money a different way, he isolated himself in his library and books, trying to escape reality. They didn’t hate each other, they just didn’t really suit each other, drawing farther and farther apart.

AA) Elizabeth is a Freak

Elizabeth enjoys listening to the screams of burning zombies. What a sadist and creep.

BB) Return of the Bad Fight Scenes

The fight between Lady Catherine and Elizabeth is horrible as well. Leaping all over the place like they are taking part in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon or something, The way Lady Catherine attacks, Elizabeth should be dead. Elizabeth stabs Lady Catherine in the stomach but Lady Catherine survives? What, that isn’t even possible. She’s dead, end of story.

CC) Ew, Yuck, and Gross

Words some Catherine’s lips “After I behead her, ninjas you can do what you want with the body”, Grahame-Smith has some serious issues.

So yeah I hated it.

Grahame-Smith just plagiarized someone else’s work changing a few words here and there and making it horrible. Grahame-Smith offends me to my very core. Destroying talented writing with his scribbles.

This is what I would like to do to him

Grahame-Smith doesn’t even know how to write. His characters are unlikeable, story underdeveloped, and just all around bad, bad, bad.  Only one thing left to do:

This is one book you should defintely skip!

To start the 30 Day Challenge from the beginning, go to It Was a Pleasure to Burn: Fahrenheit 451

For the previous post, go to Why I Still Love My Fair Godmother

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Austenland

For more Pride & Prejudice variations, go to Is Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade Really Just Pride & Prejudice?

For more books based on Jane Austen, go to Midnight in Austenland

For more Zombies, go to No Mere Mortal Can Resist the Evil of the Thriller: Thriller (1983)

A Study in Fandoms

I am Audrey Hepburn and Cat is my fandoms

So after a brief hiatus, the fandom posts are back. Here we go with a few more things, as Audrey would say, I go ape over.

ABBA

I first got into ABBA through my mother, who grew up in the ’70s and was a disco queen.

Yep she and my and my dad grew up in the ’70s, being the ones to blame for my obsession with the music from that decade.

Anyways, one day she was watching a Time Life infomercial or something that had a collection of all of ABBA‘s greatest hits; along with their concerts on a collection of videos (yes I said video, they were on VHS).

I started watching it with her when I heard the song Dancing Queen. I said “Isn’t that by the band S Club 7, a band I was a fan of through the TV show that used to be on abc family. My mom told me that ABBA was the one who created it. I stayed with her to finish watching, and became a huge fan.

What can you say about this Swedish Disco/Pop Rock/Glam Rock group other than they were awesome! I love the songs and their costumes.

When Mamma Mia! came out in 2008, I was the only girl their under the age of 40; but I didn’t care. The story was so-so, but I had fun singing along as I knew every lyric.

My favorite songs are Dancing Queen, Does Your Mother Know, Fernando, Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! (A Man After Midnight), Honey Honey, Lay All Your Love On Me, Mamma Mia, S.O.S., Super Trouper, Voulez Vous, and Waterloo

Ned and Stacey

I happened upon this show accidentally one morning (they had stopped showing Saved By the Bell). I was channel surfing to see what to watch before class, when I saw Thomas Haden Church. As I just adore him, I decided to check the show out and fell for it.

Ned Dorsey (Thomas Haden Church) is a fantastic advertising executive. He’s up for a big promotion; only problem is he is a confirmed bachelor (trust issues & parent issues) and they are looking for a family man. He needs a wife and he needs one quick.

Stacey Colbert (Debra Messing) is a writer living with her parents as she can’t find an apartment she can afford with her meager paycheck. After Stacey and Ned meet on a blind date, Ned proposes. If Stacey can be his wife for three years; she can live in the beautiful apartment, have nice clothes, enjoy the parties Ned is invited too, and date anyone she wants to (discreetly). It seems like too good of a deal and the two are soon living together. But will this odd couple be able to last?

The show was cute and zany as Stacey was crazy and all over the place, while Ned was more controlled and the “straight man” in the comedic duo.

I loved this show, but couldn’t see why Stacey hated Ned. He’s hot, funny, has great fashion sense, takes her to all kinds of cool places, can cook, is a great gardener, etc. I would have loved being married to him.

Ringer

Ringer was a show that starred Sarah Michelle Geller and aired in 2011-2012. I thought it was fantastic and ended way too early. I’m not sure exactly what happened. Why did they cancel it?

 

Why did it end?

So the series is in the noir genre and has one over-arcing mystery, with multiple twists and turns. Similar to Veronica Mars but much more adult.

Bridget Kelly is a drug addict and stripper. She witnesses a murder crime boss Bodaway Macawi, but is afraid of his power; running away from the FBI agents who promised to protect her. She instead goes to her long estranged twin, Siobhan in New York.

Siobhan has risen from their humble roots, now being a a high society girl; married to one of the most powerful stockbrokers; Andrew Martin (Ioan Gruffudd). Siobhan promises to protect her and takes her out to their house on the Hamptons. They go for a boat ride when Bridget falls asleep. She wakes up to discover her sister gone! The only thing left are her rings!

Oh no…

Afraid that she might be suspected of doing something and worried about Macawi; she decides to pretend to be her sister. But what she thought was a perfect life; money, handsome husband, gorgeous clothes, great friends, etc.- turns out to be anything but.

Siobhan and Andrew’s marriage is on the rocks, her friends are catty, she’s cheating with her best friend’s husband, the stepdaughter hates her, an evil ex-wife trying to remove the “ex” in her title, and to top it all off; someone is trying to kill Siobhan.

Throw in a hot FBI agent that won’t settle until he finds Bridget and not knowing who to trust and you have one winner of a show! Too bad the network didn’t see that.

The only thing I didn’t like about this show was the reason why Bridget and Siobhan were estranged. It wasn’t a horrible reason, it made sense; but I don’t know I guess I was expecting more. The same way I was expecting MORE SEASONS!!

Why did they end it?!

For more on Sarah Michelle Geller, go to She’s Been Totally Different…Like Stepford: Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)

Saved By the Bell

Saved by the Bell was one of my favorite shows growing up. I used to watch it in the afternoons, and then when they changed the line up; every morning. This continued up into college as I just loved the nostalgia, characters, and the fun plots. As they have it on Netflix; I’ve recently continued my watching and enjoyment.

So the show started out Good Morning Miss Bliss, with Hayley Mills as the main character, and teacher at the junior high school. The show did so-so; so they choose four of the characters to continue; changed the location, and instead focused on the students rather than teachers.

The show centered around Zach Morris, Screech Powers, Jessie Spano, Kelly Kapowski, Lisa Turtle, and A.C. Slater. Usually Zach either created a crazy situation or came up with some silly scheme to get out of a problem. However, they didn’t shy away from the serious issues; sometimes dealing with them in a cheesy way and others very poignantly.

I also watched the College Years, although I didn’t like the two girls they added on when Lisa, Kelly, and Jessie left the show. Otherwise it was good, espechially when they brought Kelly back.

So for characters we have my absolute favorite- Zach Morris played by Mark-Paul Gosselaar.

Zach was hot, and let me just say MPG is still looking pretty fine. He was also loyal, funny, kind, and just fun. He always had some kind of get-rich-quick scheme or plan that usually didn’t work out how he planned. However, one of the things that made him the best was his devotion and adoration of Kelly. Loved her from episode one and continued on.

Jessie Spano was played by Elizabeth Berkley. She was tall, intelligent, a feminist, and always crowing about rights and how stupid men are.

Sometimes she was annoying, but usually fun. At the beginning of the series she had a crush on Zach, but she ended up dating A.C.; and I thought the two worked well. She left the series, but returned for the series finale: when Zach and Kelly got married.

There was Screech Powers played by Dustin Diamond. Screech was a total nerd. He got straight As, built a robot, messed around with all kind of electronics, and was usually the naive one that went along with one of Zach’s schemes. He had a crush on Lisa, but she wasn’t interested in him.

Kelly Kapowski was played by Tiffani-Amber Thiessen. Kelly is the popular, pretty, cheerleader, but also smart all-American girl. All the boys wanted to date her; including Zach and A.C.

She and Zach are constantly being thrown together and then pulled apart, until the very end when the two finally stay together forever, as they get married.

Lisa Turtle was played by Lark Voorhes. Lisa was super rich and super stylish; always dressed the best.

She was always super popular and helping plan parties and dances. She and Zach date briefly, but most of the time she had a new beau every episode.

And last, but not least; the other guy that I thought was a total hunk (although my heart was first for Zach) Mario Lopez who played A.C. Slater. A.C. transferred to the school and was a jock, also being a rival for Zach in Kelly’s affections. However, as MPG and Mario became such great friends; the writers had to change the script and have the two become buds instead. He dated around, Kelly at times, but in the end of the high school series he and Jessie stole each other’s hearts. In the college years, he and Zach are roomies even trying to get into the same fraternity. Slater isn’t just a jock though, he has some great story lines in dealing with being an army brat and moving from place to place; along with trying to express his Latino culture. Like MPG he is still as hot as ever.

Lookin’ good

And just because it was awesome; here is the funny reunion they has on Jimmy Fallon’s show.

For more on Mario Lopez, go to On the 8th Day ‘Til Christmas: Holiday in Handcuffs (2007)

For the previous post, go to To Kill a Fangirl

And Stay tuned for part 20

 

I Don’t Care What You Think, She’s My Girl: A Trip to the Dentist, Veronica Mars (2005)

Most Romantic Moment #2

Romantic Moment #2

So we haven’t reached the point in my fangirl posts on which I am going to discuss my love of the TV show, Veronica Mars or else you would know how much I love this show.

So the moment I chose, and feel is the most romantic in the whole series, comes from the last episode in the first season. So if you haven’t watched the show and am planning to:

**Spoiler Alert**

So Veronica Mars used to be a popular student, part of the in-crowd, but that all changed when her boyfriend, Duncan Kane, dumped her;

and then his sister, and Veronica’s best friend, Lily Kane died.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Everything further changed when her father, Sheriff Keith Mars started investigating the Kane family, and found himself not only ousted out of office but public enemy number one.

Instead of leaving the town of Neptune, CA; Keith to open a P.I. office, which is aided by Veronica. The mom had some issues with the changes (and her life threatened) and left, making it just Keith and Veronica.

Besides assisting her dad on his cases, and looking into who killed Lily, Veronica has her own bustling business at school; picking up various cases from students. Veonica is friends with the PCH biker gang, and a couple of the other “unpopular” kids; but her old friends in the 09er “in crowd” dislike her, particularly Logan Echolls (Lily’s boyfriend).

Ever since Lily’s death, Logan has been acting mean, cruel, and being a big ol’ bully.

However, at this point in the series, Veronica has been helping Logan look for his mom, as he believes that she didn’t commit suicide but faked her own death to flee her marriage. When they discover the truth that she really is dead and it was Logan’s sister who was using her credit cards, it sparked feelings between Logan & Veronica; along with bringing back the pre-grief stricken Logan.

Things come to a head when Logan saves her from gunpoint, them making out, and later dating. However, they’ve been keeping their dating a secret as Duncan has gone M.I.A., and they want to tell him first instead of him just finding out; along with not sure how to break it the two crowds each hang out in.

This could get ugly

Most Romantic Moment: My Status has Nothing on You

So this romantic moment comes in the middle of this particular episode, A Trip to the Dentist. Logan and Veronica have been dating secretly; and while Logan hasn’t been snarky or mean to Veronica, he still hasn’t done anything overt yet to show that he has changed and truly cares about her.

At least not yet

And he has done a few things for her; such as pick her car up from the shop, promising to stay out of any future Mexico drinking & cheerleading trips, and even planning a romantic boat ride. But Veronica is still not fully ready to trust him, especially since the last boy she was completely crazy about (not Deputy Leo but Troy) turned out to be a class A jerk.

So the romantic moment? Well I’m getting there. It comes when Logan and Veronica head back to Logan’s house, only to discover that Logan’s dad has decided to throw him a surprise birthday party…and invited the who school.

So Veronica is trying to figure out a way to explain why they are together, come up with some snappy remark but with everyone talking smack about her, it is kind of putting her off ideas.

But Logan does something that completely surprises her and everyone else in the room. He announces to the group that Veronica is his girlfriend and if anyone has a problem with it they can leave and no longer be his friend.

Logan Echolls: That’s kind of a general invitation. If you don’t like my girlfriend-then just start heading toward the rectangle with a knob.

This is a huge moment for Logan and Veronica. For Logan we’ve seen him from horrible jerk, bereaved, drifting, thorny, wounded-to brave, heroic, and back to the man he used to be. But even more so, we see that Logan has decided that the things he cared about before; popularity and status, aren’t nearly as important as the girl he loves.

For Veronica, it shows that Logan really cares for her, and isn’t playing her like her last boyfriend Troy, as he is willing to risk all for her.

Veronica + Logan Forever!

To start Romance is in the Air: Part IV from the beginning, go to I Can’t Pretend, I Have to Be: Casual Sex? (1988)