Maybe We Should Just Let the World Blow Up: Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)

“Well, that tears it. Maybe we should just let the world blow up. The gorillas, every damned… what it comes to.Maybe we should just let the world blow up. The gorillas, every d*****… what it comes to.”

So to be 100% honest I have not seen this movie in over 20 years.

What’s the heck?

Yes, while I can watch the first film over and over again and the others there are two BIG reasons why I have not watched this film again:

1) It was missing Charlton Heston. If my memory serves me right, he’s barely even in the film, just a blimp in the beginning and end.

He is why most if us are watching!

2) THIS FILM FAAAA-REAKED ME OUT! OH MYGoodness. This movie gave me nightmares-the part when they rip their skin off and the girl with the ponytail-ghdshtfgfdfmxhngbcvffz bvhfcgcg FAAAA-REAKED me out!

When I was a child Dante’s Peak was the number one scary film to me (there is a small volcanic range where I live and I was convinced after watching that movie it was going to erupt-plus thaat scene with the grandma) and then it was this one.

But I have really wanted to watch (and review) all of these in order so I will face my fears and rewatch this film. After all it has been 20 years, I’m sure it will be no big deal. Right?

In fact I have to watch our old VHS as the library has the full set but the person who has this one checked out won’t return it.

Ugh!

So Planet of the Apes was amazing and did wonderful with the box office. But because of some bad financial decisions, and films getting lackluster amounts of money: such as Hello, Dolly! (1969), Star! (1968), and Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970). They needed a win and got it with this one, but severely slashed the budget.

Yes, compared to Planet of the Apes this film has few apes in it, and the apes that are in here-have less than stellar makeup.

Hmm, I don’t know about this…

But it made Fox some serious money and saved the studio.

So our VHS has a trailer of the film before you watch the film. I remember sometimes they had that, but it is so weird to watch it today as they don’t put the trailer of the film before the film.

But it is nice that we get a brief remembrance of where the first film left off. The trailer says this movie will be the “last battle”. Hah, they don’t know that there is a Battle for Planet of the Apes coming. Fingers crossed all goes according to plan it will be posted on October 30th.

Please!

So we start with the ocean waves rolling in, calm. Then Roddy McDowell reading from the Ape Scrolls, pretty much the end of the first film. Taylor and Nova are heading off, following the shoreline with Cornelius and Dr. Zira (Kim Hunter) deciding to stay-even though they will face charges of treason.

As they journey, Taylor finds the head of the stature of liberty! They then continue to ride off into the desert and rocks.

We then cut to a crashed and broken spaceship. One man, Brent (James Franciscus), gets out with a first aid kit, trying to help out his fellow cosmonaut, Skipper. But he’s a goner, you can tell.

It is 3955 AD,  according to their time, and the two men were following Taylor. Ah! So someone was listening to his transmissions.

They seem to be in a smaller ship, but have more things and gadgets. Their computer is shot and besides that they know nothing about where or when they are. Skipper dies and Brent is all alone.

At least Taylor had his people for the first leg of the journey-this guy doesn’t know where he is, when he is, where Taylor is, where to go, and is all by himself.

Something on a horse is watching him! Just like in he first one!! But this is a woman.

Its Nova, but where is Taylor? This movie kinda reminds me of Pocahontas II when we all wanted John Smith back but they paired her up with John Rolfe-and I know it is more “historically” accurate, but still. You built the first movie up with him and then him out and throw in some young guy?!!

He sees Taylor’s name on the dogtag worn by Nova and asks Nova where Taylor is. Nova has a flashback of when she and Taylor were riding off and he was trying to teach her how to speak and gave her his dogtags. BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? WHY DO WE HAVE BRENT WHO I DON’T WANT! I didn’t want him 20 years ago and don’t want him now!!

IT’S NOT WHAT I WANT!

Sorry for the brief tantrum…let’s go back to the film. Nova flashes back again to them riding together in the desert and in the Forbidden Zone. Weird place, what the the heck the forbidden zone has fire?! And lightening!!?? Where are they? Is this real? The ground breaks apart? Is this an illusion? Taylor tries to figure this out and tells Nova that if anything happens to him to find Dr. Zira.

He walks foward and touches a rock disappearig ito thin air!

Whaaaaaaaaa? huh?

I don’t really care for this style of flashback and such-it is sooo different from the first one.

Brent just ups and jumps on the horse commanding Nova to take him to Taylor. I remember I couldn’t stand him and his character, but I don’t remember why. He hasn’t done anything really annoying? Maybe it was because he isn’t Charlton Heston.

You’re nowhere close to him…

So back at…Ape City I guess, they never say what it is called, we see something serious is going down with the gorillas. And oh man I love these costumes, so much better than CGI. Not nowhere as good as the original but the budget but whatcha gonna do when they slash your budget.

Oh, well.

Brent is not a good actor. Like it is starting to come back to me why I couldn’t stand him. He did like an Arnold OMG when he saw the apes.

Anyways the lead Gorilla, Ursus, is stirring up the crowd. Must be an election year! He’s going on about hating humans and that “he only good human is a dead human.”

That’s not good.

OMG Brent, this dude! His acting! It is soooooooooo wooden. He says “It’s a nightmare.” like how you say “Oh like it’s a cheeseburger.” Now I know why I didn’t like him.

Dr. Zira is not having it and she will not be siting idly by-that’s ’cause she rocks.

Anyways, the Forbidden Zone has been Forbidden for years-but now they know there is something there. They believe it is their holy duty to go out and take the land back-manifest destiny! Expand, invade, take the land back that is rightfully theirs!

All the apes cheer, except Zira who’s not having this crap.

Cornelius wants them to play it safe, he wants his wife to be safe. Aw. they are such a cute couple.

Ugh, Brent. This guy is not doing a good job acting. He says everything that is supposed to be shocked, like it is nothing.

Nova and Brent run and their movement spotted by a gorilla sentry, but when the gorilla shoots, he scares a bird and thinks that what caused the movement and goes on his way.

Back in Ape city, Dr. Zauis and the Gorilla leader are in a steam room talking.

Huh?

I don’t know. What is this film? Anyways, Dr. Zauis thinks they should leave the Forbidden Zone alone-but Ursus says they need to or they will starve. I don’t know why there is such an urgency. What happened to the orangutans controlling everybody? They should have explained it better with a famine or something?

Cornelius and Zira argue about what to do and like all Planet of the Apes, they are some of the best things.

As they are preparing something chocolate, can apes eat that? Nova comes in with Brent, they think he is Taylor at first (all look like right) and Brent introduces himself and that he is looking for Taylor.

OMG Brent, this dude is killing me. He’s talking to human size, intellectual, chimpanzees, who aer in the middle of  baking and  he acts like it’s no big deal. He’s just like whatever. THE first movie was sooooooo much better, Charlton Heston was so much better.

Who hired this dude?

Sorry don’t mean to be rude I’m sure you did good in other stuff, but you are just sucking in this movie. The dislike and hate I had for you as a seven year old is all coming back.

Can he, can he just leave and we have Charlton Heston back. Like who came up with this idea?!!!! Who hired him? Who said that take was good?

So Cornelius goes over the map with Brent to try and figure out where Taylor might be. While it was Roddy McDowell in the beginning of the film, Cornelius’ voice sounds off. Let me look it up…

I’m stumped.

It’s not Roddy McDowell? What?????????????????????? He has something else he was involved in.

I’m not happy…

Dr. Zauis comes to speak to them and sees the bloody rag Zira was using on Brent and she pretends Cornelius hit her. Uh, what?

And thenDr. Zauis is all for that. What the? Who decided on that? What is this?

Anyways, Dr. Zauis says that he and the gorillas are going to go into the Forbidden Zoe and Zauis doesn’t want them to. He doesn’t want the “truth” to be found as he wants them to continue the way things are. But if he doesn’t return from the expedition, he is bestoeing them in charge and asks them to preserve the ape way of life.

Like this makes zero sense!!! They have outright opposed him! And they WANT the truth to be told? Why would he pick them out of everybody? Doesn’t he have a lackey? Did ANY of these writers watch the first film and see WHY it was so awesome?

So they warn Brent that he needs not to talk if caught by gorillas as they will dissect him. They give him “clothes for for humans”; and Brent is just dumb.  He says “why would I talk to a gorilla.”

Ughhh…Brent.

This dude!!!!

He changes his clothes and he and Nova ride off on a horse to try and find Taylor. And they get not like five seconds of riding- gorillas find them and the horse is dead. Wooooooooow!!!! Brent you suck.

Really, really?

I’m out!

The gorillas storm after them and capture the two. The gorillas seem to have a lot more power in this film, in fact we hardly ever see an orangutan. Gee it sure would be nice if they gave us more info on what happened!!!

They get thrown in a cage like in the first film.

The next day we get to see the Gorilla’s practicing their maneuvers and training. Some gorillas are just casually tossing about a monolith. No its not that big, but still it was a ginormous rock. They should be superape strong.

Sorry!

Brent gets thrown into Zira’s lab. She is surprised to see him but secretly in her mind I’m sure she us thinking- this man sucks. You got like three steps before you got captured. She tries to keep them for study but Gorilla-Hitler, I mean Ursus, wants them for target practice.

So Zira lets them go in the cart to be carried away after she “double locks the door” jeez the gorillas really must be all brawn and no brains. How do you double lock a door? You lock or unlock it.

Brent gets out and fights with the gorilla on top of the moving cart but there isn’t any music. I mean it is a pretty cool action scene-but they didn’t add a score or anything, we just hear the cart going down the road. Weird. Guess music didn’t make it on their budget.

Maybe that’s why they only had a few scenes wit Charlton Heston hr was too expensive (BTW he donated his salary to charity).

So Brent defeated the gorilla, yeah I’m surprised he could do anyting right too and he and Nova take off on the horses-oh and look right back into the gorillas again. There’s the Brent we know, the sucky one. Jeez, this guy is dumb. Man he a serious damsel in distress, he keeps getting captured.

Except I can’t

So yes Taylor was captured twice in the Planet of the Apes film. First time they had just arrived on the planet and  in the second he was trying to escape the city, but at least we got to see the whole set and have an awesome scene revealing he could talk. He didn’t run, get captured, run, get captured, etc. Then when he escaped the final time he didn’t get caught, he took Dr. Zauis prisoner.

So they escape to the desert and find a cave, but inside there is tile. Hmm..? There is also a cement wall/door with an image of a moon on it. What is this?

Huhhhhhhh

He looks some more and finds it used to be Queensboro PlazaUh, I’m sure this is supposed to be the big reveal for him, but first of all-its not that big a deal. I mean in the other one we had the stature of liberty’s head!!!! Her head!!! Was she blown up? Taken down by a new race! We don’t know but it was by something bad.

This is a subway station in Queens. Well whoop-de-doo. Seriously-what if he saw pieces of the Empire State Building or Times Square or something New York! I mean nothing will be as big a WHAAAAAT!!!! moment as the Statue of Liberty’s head, but seriously a subway station?

And what does Brent say when he sees it? “Oh gee, this used to be my home.” Bfffffffqwwwwww!Really?

I hate Brent. I wish the apes had used you as target practice.

So we see ape church and they pray before they head out to the Forbidden Zone (okay every time I write that all I can imagine is the Beast’s voice saying forbidden-sorry had to share)

A group of Chimps have a peace protest on front of the gorllas. I wonder of Lucius is one. I miss him.

The gorillas come in and pull  them out “quietly” and lock them all up in the animal, I mean human cages. Ouch, these apes are way harsher in judgement. You don’t see police taking people down to the pound to be put in kennels.

Ouch

So Brent is sitting and staring into space then…ugh, Brent just annoys me. He just has to breathe and is annoying. How long until Charlton Heston comes back?

Please be soon! Please be soon! Please be soon!

So Brent peeks out of the cave and spots a gorilla patrol. He waits until they move and then is going to leave when he hears a strange humming sound. He decides to follow it…because? Reasons, I guess?

Why?

He goes down the subway tracks and he discovers the humming comes from a device. It stops when he touches the ladder. So he decides to climb up, followed by Nova and down a tubular walkway. This is actually kinda creepy as every passage looks the same but you have no clue where you are going or what awaits you on the other side.

They climb out of a tunnel and there is the New York Public Library and the Stock Exchange, all would have been a much cooler reveal that the Queensboro plaza. Not hating just saying! (Actually no, I am hating)

I’m not happy

There is a cathedral and Brent drinks the holy water thats been sitting there for who knows how long. Really Brent, really? Didn’t you learn to never drink standing water? Like how did you pass any survival skills classes?

Dude seriously. This dude is so annoying.

I HATE this character!

So a loud buzzing noise comes and Bret starts acting weird wanting to kill Nova. He manages to fight against it and stop himself, but the voice is in his head as he backs into the chapel where the noise gets louder and then disappears. Why? Who knows!

Here’s the part of the film that is ingrained in my mind. In the chapel is a giant bomb and a man kneeling before it, his god.

Brent speaks to him, questing what is going on. The mole people, I mean the people beneath the planet of the apes speak with telepathy. Brent is taken from the Cathedral to the tribunal.

That’s not good.

They think he is a spy and question him. Its kind of weird because we don’t hear their voices it i just Brent answering them, ugh Brent.

Meh.

They continue to interrogate him and Brent sings like a canary. He can’t do anything right.

The stop with telepathy as they can speak verbally. He tells them that the bomb isn’t a god,but they say it is a holy weapon of peace. Yeah an anti-war vibe is really strong in this film. It was the ’70s after all.

They think that Brent is from the apes, bit Brent is like I don’t know.

Hate him!

These humans have mutant powers like telepathy, fire, etc…what a second.

Human mutants with abilities! OMG Brent found the morlocks!

Anyway their “peaceful weapons” are to destroy the “murderous apes”. Brent tries to talk reason but they don’t listen. They can’t use their telepathy on the apes which upsets them.

They bring Nova in and use their powers to make Brent kiss and strangle Nova.  This movie is a mess.

What’s going on?

We switch back to apes, thank goodness who are storming the forbidden zone. They arrive and the people play tricks on their mind. They see apes in agony hanging upside down, fire, their lawgiver god on fire, then bleeding, etc.

Dr.Xauis become angry and rides into the fire and stone, but survives. The illusion melts away.

They head toward the old New York City. Meanwhile, under the city the people are preparing a communion and church service. They kneel before the bomb praying to it.

They prepare the bomb and only need to press the button to let it go. Brent and Nova were forced to attend as well. And here is the scene were they reveal their innermost self and remove their skin.

This is still FAAAA-REKY! I’ll admit, I screamed whe I saw it again. Mghrtyghfkyfv!

All are excused to go to their shelters. They put their faces back on. They tell Brent they hope him witnessing their services convinces him they are only for peace. They take them to a cell and who’s in there? TAYLOR!

FINALLY!!!!

They talk, but then the guard uses his mind control to try and make them fight. Brent starts first because he’s more weak minded.

The two fight and and this feels weird as the only sound is like a buzz saw cutting wood-the mind control, It is so weird that this movie has like no score.

Taylor knocks Brent into the wall, sand the guards don’t like this “boring” gladiator battle so they toss a spike club onto the cell.

Nova manages to get away from her attacker and goes charging down to try and stop them-shouting out her first word “Taylor” and breaking the concentration and mind control.

They kill the guard by ramming him on the spiky cell. I remember this scene vividly! As he dies he removes his skin to show his innermost self. fgagfdguhij!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Like Taylor seriously wounded Brent and he should be waaaaay worse off, but he is only slightly wounded. Brent tells him about the bomb and how it had alpha and omega on it.

Taylor recognizes it as a doomsday bomb created in his time. Remember when he mentioned at the beginning of Planet of the Apes?

George Taylor : This much is probably true – the men who sent us on this journey are long since dead and gone. You who are reading me now are a different breed – I hope a better one. I leave the 20th century with no regrets. But one more thing – if anybody’s listening, that is. Nothing scientific. It’s purely personal. But seen from out here everything seems different. Time bends. Space is boundless. It squashes a man’s ego. I feel lonely. That’s about it. Tell me, though. Does man, that marvel of the universe, that glorious paradox who sent me to the stars, still make war against his brother? Keep his neighbor’s children starving?

Meanwhile the apes are continuing and it is lame we don’t have more Zira and Cornelius. I love them but they are hardly in his.

I’m not happy

The apes find the passageway to the subway and start down it exploring. Meanwhile, the guys are trying to break free when the apes enter the city, shootig at any human that they see.

The guys manage to finally get themselves free and grab spare clubs from the wall and attack a gorilla with Nova being killed. AW!

Taylor is angry enough to want all to die, but Brent convinces him to stop the bomb.

Taylor: [as Nova slowly dies, gunned down by a gorilla] Well, that tears it. Maybe we should just let the world blow up. The gorillas, every damned… what it comes to.

John Brent: [Intense, full of fury] Taylor, come on. Come on!

Taylor: Yeah.

The apes storm the cathedral with our two spacemen hot on their trails.The leader speaks to them, shocking all as humans talk and lets the bomb go. They shoot him and then try to shoot the bomb.

Taylor and Brent creep along, trying not to be shot but reach the control panel to stop the bomb. And THEY SHOOT TAYLOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brent shoots a bunch of apes, wow he can actually do something right.

I’m surprised

Dr. Zauis is shocked to see Taylor and does’t want to help him.

Brent is killed. Taylor is angry at Zauis and reaches out accidentally setting the bomb off, Everything whites out and we get end narration.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllll...I didn’t like it. The cut budget really makes this pale in comparison to the other film. This script is all over the place! Brent-don’t get  started on his character or his lackluster the acting, the characters we love from the original are all missing, and the whole power structure and motivation of the apes as a whole has seriously changed-but we don’y get any reason why! This whole thing was pretty lackluster.

Now did it still freak me out? YES! The skin ripping off scenes are still just as creepy as they were 20 years ago. Please don’t let it give me any nightmares tonight!!!

So that is the end of the Planet of the Apes. At least until next Wednesday (Fingers crossed)

I hope I can do it.

And the facebook banner:

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Planet of the Apes, go to Take Your Stinking Paws Off Me, you D*** Dirty Ape!: Planet of the Apes (1968)

For more Charlton Heston, go to Work Will Always Be There But You Might Not Be: The Greatest Show on Earth (1952)

For more Roddy McDowell, go to That Darn Cat

For more dystopian future films, go to Don’t Go in There! You Don’t Have to Die! No One Has to Die at 30! You Could Live! LIVE!: Logan’s Run (1976)

 

 

All I Know About Trilogies is That in the Third One, All Bets are Off: Scream 3 (2000)

Scream3_ver2

What do you know about trilogies? You mean like movie trilogies…Well, all I know about trilogies is that in the third one, all bets are off.

So welcome to another Scream-tastic Saturday! (For the previous Saturdays, go to Scream and Scream 2)

Scream-Casey-Becker-drew-barrymore-31896958-2560-1088

Yep the third installment in this now trilogy, Scream 3.

While this was a great horror parody, it wasn’t my favorite of the three. I thought it was okay, as it had Patrick Dempsey, but didn’t like how it was missing one of the best characters: Randy.

Randy

So this one is a complete throw out of left field, as it is the third film. This time we have the secret backstory that changes all that was ever given to us in the first two.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

In fact Wes Craven actually filmed three different endings and didn’t tell the cast which one he was going to use. It was one big surprise.

Scream 3 takes place three years after Scream 2. If you recall from Scream 2, Cotton Weary is exonerated and Sidney agreed to do that interview with him. Well, that really helped as now Cotton hosts his own nationally syndicated talk show, called 100% Cotton.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

That’s really the name they went with? I know its catchy, but it sounds more like an underwear commercial than a real show.

felix_the_cat_laughing

Anyways, back to the plot. He gets a phone call that starts out benign, but then quickly turns deadly.

Look at that smile!

Cotton Weary: Who’s this?

Female Caller: Who’s this?

Cotton Weary: Who are you calling?

Female Caller: Oh, you know what, I’ve got the wrong number.

Cotton Weary: That’s okay.

Female Caller: Wait, your voice. You sound a lot like that guy on TV, uh, Cotton Weary.

Cotton Weary: I do huh?

Female Caller: Yeah, I think he’s got a really sexy voice.

Cotton Weary: [laughs] Okay, well, thank you.

Female Caller: Wait a minute. You are Cotton, aren’t you? Oh my God, I am talking to Cotton Weary.

Cotton Weary: [laugh] You caught me. Listen can you hold on for a minute? I got someone on the other line.

Female Caller: Yeah…

Cotton Weary: Hold on.

Cotton Weary: [switches to car phone] Andrea, I got someone on the other line. I’ll have to call you back [switches back to cell phone] So… you a 100% Cotton fan?

Female Caller: Yeah, 110%.

Cotton Weary: [chuckle] That’s very good. So, uh… Why don’t you tell me your name?

Female Caller: Ooh, you’re a naughty boy, Cotton. Now, what would your girlfriend think?

Cotton Weary: What makes you think I have a girlfriend?

Phone Voice: [click] I know you do. I’m right outside her bathroom door. She’s in the shower. She’s got a nice little… voice. Let’s go in for a closer look. Ooh, she’s very, very pretty, Cotton. A step up from Maureen Prescott. Speaking of which, let’s play a game. Answer right, your girlfriend lives, answer wrong she dies. Where’s Maureen’s daughter, Sidney?

Cotton Weary: Who the f*** is this?

Phone Voice: Someone who would kill to know where Sidney Prescott is. You’ve got connections. One chance, Cotton. Where is she?

Cotton Weary: Listen to me, you son of a b****, if you touch Christine, I’ll f****** kill you.

Phone Voice: Wrong answer! [click; dead line]

LOL Cotton and Cotton

LOL Cotton and Cotton 100% Cotton

Cotton rushes home to try and reach his girlfriend.

Now Christine the girlfriend is pretty stupid. She doesn’t lock her bathroom when she takes a shower? Who does that? Everyone does!

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you're chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you’re chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

Pretty much she gets killed, Psycho-style.

Psycho-Shower

Making her

Victim #1

Victim #1

Ghostface attacks!

Ghostface attacks!

Cotton is soon to follow.

Victim #2

Victim #2

Now that begs the question, where is Sidney? What happened to her?

Suspense have to know

So Sidney had a major breakdown and faced a lot of changes since the last film. Let’s review. She had a killer target her again. She thought it might be her boyfriend. She watched her best friend die. She watched her boyfriend die. Someone who she thought was her friend, turned out to be a “sleeper agent” and tried to murder her. She almost died.

ouch Hermione

Yeah…that’s a lot to deal with a lot.

I don't know what to do

In fact, so much to deal with that Sidney has moved very, very far away to a secluded spot and only a handful have an idea of where she is. What she does for a living is work with a suicide prevention hotline. She gets one call a day. Today’s call isn’t the usual…its THE caller.

When-a-Stranger-Calls-s01

When a Stranger Calls

She hears about what happened to Cotton and realizes, it’s happening again.

scream 2 start again

Currently in Hollywood they are creating another Stab film, Stab 3, based on the true events of Scream 2. Cotton was one of the producers, so the cops have been checking it out. One cop is Mark Kincaid, played by Patrick Dempsey. In fact just like Mark Wahlberg in The Lovely Bones, Dempsey was hired the night before and had to figure the character out without any real ideas of the script. Anyways, Kincaid has been using Gale Weathers for background info as they found a photo of Sidney’s mother Maureen at the crime scene. Gale journeys out to Hollywood and when she gets there she discovers Dewey is there. Yep, the two broke up as Dewey didn’t like how she treats people. He is working as a consultant for the film, and dating the actress playing Gale Weathers that looks just like her, Jennifer Jolie.

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

 Meanwhile on the set of Stab 3, one of the blond bimbos enters an office looking for someone and gets murdered.

Victim #3

Victim #3

Yep, this killer wastes very little time as later at Jennifer Jolie’s house her bodyguard gets a phone call and is murdered by ghostface.

Victim #4

Victim #4

The bodies are just dropping like flies. I wasn’t going to post this, but I feel like I can’t go any farther as this song is running through my brain nonstop.

To add to the intensity of this particular Ghostface is that he then blows up Jennifer Jolie’s house

OMG

The killer tries to attack Gale, but Dewey saves her by shooting at him.

Meanwhile, Sidney’s back. The attacks and calls encouraged her to come back and help find the killer. She and Mark clash at first a bit.

Sidney: What do you know about trilogies?

Mark: You mean like movie trilogies?

Sidney: You seem to like movies, Detective.

Mark: Call me “Mark”, will you? ‘Cause I’m gonna keep calling you Sidney.

Sidney: I’ll call you “Mark” when you catch the killer, Detective.

Mark: Well, all I know about trilogies is that in the third one, all bets are off.

Sidney: Did you request this case?

Mark: No. They tend to put me on the ones that deal with the business. I grew up here and I know my way around the studios.

Sidney: Must be exciting. Beautiful place, beautiful people.

Mark: To me, Hollywood is about death.

Sidney: Excuse me?

Mark: I’m a homicide cop. When you see what I see day in and day out, the violence that people do to each other, you get haunted. I think you know about that.

Sidney: What do you mean?

Mark: I know what it’s like to see ghosts that don’t go away, to be watching a scary movie in your head, whether you want to or not, watching it alone.

Sidney: Ghosts are tough. You can’t shoot ghosts.

Mark: Can’t arrest ghosts. But the trick to keep from getting haunted is to be with people. You’re here, you’re not in hiding. You’ve done the right thing… Miss Prescott. What did you know about your Mother?

Sidney: I always thought I had the perfect Mom, the perfect family until I found out I was wrong. She had a secret life and I tried to understand that. And… soon as I thought… then I had more secrets. I don’t know who my Mom was.

Mark: You knew who she was to you. Here’s the deal: I’m off to search the set. I think that what you saw is real. That’s the good news.

Sidney: How’s that good news?

Mark: Because it means that we are dealing with a flesh and blood killer, and I know how to handle guys like that.

Sidney: Oh, yeah. How?

Mark: Catch him or kill him.

Sidney: Hey, Detective? What’s your favorite scary movie?

Mark: My life.

Sidney: Mine, too.”

And that brings up a very interesting concept. What are the rules for a trilogy? How should we do this? Last time we had Randy to lead us, but now what are we going to do? Poor Randy! Best character ever! Oh, Randy! Randy nooooooooo!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

So what Craven decided to do is to bring Randy into the film via video recording.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

That’s how you gonna do it? That’s it? That’s really it?

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

 

The original idea was to have Randy survive the stabbing in Scream 2, his family having rescued him secretly. This was ultimately deemed to be too far-fetched so Randy was resurrected via a post-mortem video appearance instead. They knew they had to bring him back as the fans loved him. In fact Wes Craven got a ton of hate mail for killing off Randy, and thought this would appease the fans. Yeah you dunderheads, you made a big mistake.

big mistake

Well you know what would have been an even better idea? NOT KILLING HIM!!!!!!!!

Mhm great gatsby

So here we go. Rules for a trilogy.

So Gale is eager to do some investigative reporting and finds herself being followed by Jennifer Jolie. Jolie wants to really “get into” her role. Great for Jolie, bad for Gale.

Ugh

Ugh

I’m sure she would rather be punched in the face by Sidney.

Scream-Punch

So they go down to the archives and we have the funniest scene in the whole film.

Sidney also gets attacked by the killer.

Scream

She gets away and goes down to police headquarters to make a statement. At this point in time Sidney discovers that Mark Kincaid has a lot of newspaper clips and info on her. It creeps her out and makes her wonder whether or not he is the killer.

Scream 2 Doubts

But it turns out her story and survival had intrigued him and he fell for her. Just like Det. Lt. Mark McPherson in Laura (1944). Which causes this earlier statement to make a lot more sense.

“Mark: I’m gonna talk to the studio guys about those photos.

Detective Wallace: Yeah right, I know where you’re going.

Mark: Yeah keep an eye on Sidney.

Detective Wallace: I know where you’re going, you’re gonna get her some flowers and candy, right? Huh?

Mark: Gimme a break!”

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The main producer of the film, John Milton, invites everyone over for a cast party at his house. Unfortunately, they have been dragged to that house for one reason alone, the killer is going to kill them all!

dun-dun-duuuun

Time to prepare yourself.

Sidney in the parlor with a candlestick

Sidney in the parlor with a candlestick

Now this is where the bodies really start hitting the floor.

Dewey and Gale discover the film’s director, Roman, stuffed in a chest.

Victim #5

Victim #5

Angeline, an actress, runs off and is murdered.

Victim #6

Victim #6

Then Tyson (another actor)

Victim #7

Victim #7

And Jennifer

Victim #8

Victim #8

The killer then attacks Gale and Dewey, knocking them out and tying them up. In a surprising twist, Ghostface doesn’t murder them but uses them to bait Sidney to the house.

Sidney shoots him, but he ends up escaping. Kincaid comes in to save the day, but gets knocked out by the killer. The killer then chases Sidney and reveals himself to be Roman.

Say What

Yep he had faked his own death. Now you may be wondering why would a famous film director want to murder Sidney Prescott? Well it turns out that he is Maureen’s illegitimate son.

dun-dun-duuuun

This is actually radically different than any of the other Scream films. All the others have two killers; Scream-Billy & Stu, Scream 2-Mrs. Loomis & Mickey, Scream 4 had two but I won’t reveal until next week. Now the reason that this film had only one was that it was supposed to be the last film. That is until Wes got greedy and made the atrocity Scream 4 which I will review next week.

So know not only do we have the villain monologue, but the big reveal.

Phone Voice: You’re not going anywhere Sidney. It’s time you came to terms with me, and with mother. Maybe you never knew her at all Sidney… maybe you just can’t get past the surface of things.

Sidney: Who the hell are you?

Phone Voice: The other half of you. I searched for a mother too, an actress named “Reena Reynolds” tried to find her my whole LIFE, and four years ago I actually tracked her down. Knocked at her door thinking she’d welcome me with open arms, but she had a new life and a new name, Maureen Prescott! You were the only child she claimed Sidney. She shut me out into the cold forever! Her own son [takes off mask to reveal he is Roman Bridger] Roman Bridger, director, and brother. She slammed the door in my face, Sid. She said I was “Reena’s” child and Reena was dead… and then it struck me. What a good idea, so I watched her. I made a little movie, a little family film. Seems Maureen…”Mom”… she really got around. I mean Cotton was one thing; everybody knew about that. But Billy’s father – that was the key. Your boyfriend didn’t like seeing his daddy in my film too much. He didn’t like it at all. And once I supplied the motivation… all the kid needed was a few pointers. Have a partner to sell out incase you got caught, find someone to frame, it was like he was making a movie.

Sidney: You… this is all because of you.

Roman: I’m a director Sid, I direct.

Sidney: Ah.

Roman: I had no idea, that they were gonna make a film of their own. I mean intoducing Sidney the victim, Sidney the survivor, SIDNEY THE STAR!

He also reveals that John the producer raped Maureen, and Roman was their child. He kills John for revenge, bringing the body count to

Victim #8

Victim #8

Sidney is just tired of this.

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Tired of hearing another killer blaming the circumstances of their life on her. Sidney berates Roman who gets angered enough to attack her leading to a fight. Roman manages to gain the upper hand but a distraction by Kincaid allows Sidney to grab his knife. He takes Kincaid’s gun and shoots her.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

However, it turns out that she is wearing a bulletproof vest. She uses the knife and stabs him several times in the back and heart. Dewey takes his gun and shoots him several times, making sure he gets in a headshot.

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The four-Gale, Dewey, Kincaid, and Sidney head out to her secluded mountain home. There Dewey proposes to Gale, by carving out her book and placing the ring inside. Now I know this is “romantic”, but to me it sounds horrible. You just destroyed a book!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Sidney also starts a relationship with Kincaid, and it ends on a happy note. At last it is all over.

hereIgoagainWhitesnake

That is until this horrible thing comes up:

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Well that was Scream 3. Tune in next week for the final chapter.

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to Tuesday the 17th

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For more on the Scream Franchise, check out It’s Happening Again, Isn’t It?

For more trilogies, go to Life Finds a Way

For more on serial killers, go to You Think You Know Something, Don’t You?

For more horror parodies, go to A Deliciously Creepy Tale

For more on slasher films, go to Hello? Is There a Killer in My Kitchen?

For more on Patrick Dempsey, go to I Don’t Dance or Sing, Except When I’m With You

For more on Wes Craven, go to What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie?

For more on Whitesnake, go to Here I Go Again

For more of my fav songs, go to Rock You Like a Hurricane 

You Will Die in Seven Days: The Ring (2002)

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“You will die in seven days…”

So many of you might remember the post I did a year ago on Ringu, the original Japanese film. I had watched Ringu because I had heard that it was far creepier and better version that the American one. However, I found that to be false, with The Ring being the creepier one of the two. This was mostly due to the actors, some story changes, and a better explanation of Samarra. But more than anything else, my own personal connection to the film (I’ll mention that at the end).

So I was home alone one night (my roommates were all out of town for the weekend) and decided that I would spend the night in watching films. I had spotted this at the library and decided that it was perfect film for the occasion. I decided that instead of watching it alone in the living room, I would watch it in my room with the lights off. You know, set the “creepy mood”.

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you're chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

So the story is pretty similar to the Japanese film. You have two girls who are talking about a cabin weekend that one of the girls, Katie, had gone to. Suddenly the topic of a cursed videotape comes up. If you watch this tape you will die in seven days. After her niece dies, the main character, Rachel (Naomi Watts) starts tracking down what caused her death and gets caught up in a supernatural mystery. (For more info check out Ringu or watch the film).

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So what made this film much creepier than the original? Let’s get started.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

1. Lighting/Set Design

I’m not sure where the story takes place but it is always raining and gloomy. Plus the camera crew gave the whole movie this blue tint when filming which also adds to the creepiness/horror film feel to it.

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2. The Kid

In the first film Yoshi wasn’t really in the film that much. He had the nightmares and could hear his cousin “calling” to him, but that was mostly it. He watches the video, which leads his mother to try even harder to discover how to stop it. He then gets dropped off at his grandfather’s house for a bit and we don’t see him until the end of the film.

In the remake this kid is SUPER CREEPY

Gilmore girls creep

He’s kinda like Cole from The Sixth Sense, that is if Cole wasn’t a cutie. I mean this kid is an uber creep as he only talks in monotone, and doesn’t act like a kid at all-more like a 30 year old man. To top it off he even draws strange murderous pictures. Horrifying.

the-ring-she-never-sleeps

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Certified Creepo Ribbon

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3) The Video

So The Ring came out four years after Ringu and had much better special effects, not gonna lie about that. And the video was much more creepy in this film. Freaky, emphasis on the FREAK.

ring-2002 TV

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4. Samara/Background Explanation

So in the original film we don’t get a full background on her. We find out that a professor was looking into studies of mental telepathy and other things like that. He found a woman that has this ability and the two end up having a child that for some reason is more powerful, and CRAZY! The main character’s ex-husband also just happens to have this ability. That’s it. That’s all we get.

Mal_huh

How does it pass down? Why does the husband have it? Is that why they got a divorce? Why was the girl so much stronger? Why did she kill all the horses?

whatsthedeal

In the remake they give her a weirder background that explains her murderous tendencies. She was almost drowned as a baby, taken away from her family, and then put into social services. She has a history of trying to get attention/be the center of attention. She was adopted by a couple that really wanted kids but she was unlike anything they had ever seen. She started to develop these powers that freaked out her parents as she was getting into their minds.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She goes to a psychiatric hospital and is questioned and treated, causing her to react as a kid would with anger. She kills her doctor and gets sent back home to the horse ranch.

To prevent her from harming anyone, they put her up in the barn away from everyone else with only a TV set. This makes her very angry.

addams family love and jewelry

She gets very jealous and kills all the horses by making them go insane. To her adoptive mother, Anna, those were her children. She loved them and cared for them. She has a complete mental breakdown and gets sent to a sanatarium. After she is released the family goes to the mountains and she kills Samarra by throwing her down a well, and them committing suicide herself.

It may be strange, but explains things a whole lot more than the original. Plus it is very creepy.

ring tv

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So personal connection.

As I mentioned earlier, I was home alone. I had 5 housemates; 3 were staying the night at their boyfriends house and 2 had gone home to see her parents. My actual roommate had gone home to see her parents and wasn’t coming back until the next day. Instead of chilling in the living room, I took my food into my bedroom, along with the film.

Ren Stevens: What? Honey, you're chased by six mutants, and you just decided to take a shower?

So I was watching the film and had just gotten to the part when Rachel has watched the tape and received the call that in seven days she will die. Just as she has hung up her phone, my phone rings!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I pause the film and reach for the phone, shakily saying hello as its ringing scared the bejeezus out of me.

japanring3

It was just my sister. She had an idea for something and wanted to bounce it off me.

Phew!

Phew!

So I go back to watching the film. As I reach the part when Samarra comes out of the TV

ring tv

My door starts to open.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So let me explain campus security. The dorms I was living in were like townhouses. They had 4 bedrooms-2 singles & 2 doubles. Every student was given an ID card that held campus money, allowed us to check out books, go into the rec center & dining hall, and most importantly our rooms. We had two doors to the dorms that were set to only accept the cards of the people of the house. Besides running your card through the slot (like a debit card) each member of the house had a unique four-digit number to gain access. A card wasn’t enough, you had to use your code as well. Plus the code had to match the card or else you were out of luck.

keanu Whoa

To make that even more impressive, every room was encoded to only accept the occupant’s card. My roommate and I were the only ones who could into my room, unless someone had one of our cards. (The codes were only for the front & back doors.)

So you can see why I was freaked out. Everyone had made plans to be gone, defintely be gone. But yet here was my door opening and someone or something entering.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It being really dark and the fact that the rooms were L-shaped (therefore making it hard to see “who” was exactly coming in through the door) didn’t help that much.

Of course, as I’m sure you all have figured out by now it was just my roommate. It turns out she had changed her mind and decided to come home early.

This experience made the film much more exciting, although anything that happened in the film afterward that last scare was pretty anti-climatic.

So It was a pretty great film and I suggest you check it out.

2002_The_Ring_

And I’m not just trying to pass it off to save myself from being killed. LOL

2002-thering

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

To go to the previous post, go to You Think You Know Something, Do You?

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For more on Ringu, go to That Video…Is Not of This World

For more on real life mimicking horror films, go to Krueger Town 

For more evil children, go to He Who Walks Behind the Rows

For more on remakes, go to Let Them Fight

For more films that spanned sequels, go to It’s Happening Again, Isn’t It?

For more on Supernatural, go to I’m Batman!

That Video…is Not of This World: Ringu (1998)

ringu-horror-movie-poster

This kind of thing… it doesn’t start by one person telling a story. It’s more like everyone’s fear just takes on a life of its own

On April 13, 2011; I was chilling with my friends when I suddenly recalled it is Friday, April 13th!

Fridaythe13th

It’s Friday the 13th! We must watch a scary movie! We weren’t satisfied with what we had in the dorm so we headed out to the library and checked out what they had. We were looking out the horror section, when my friend Freda saw Ringu and said that we should watch it since she had heard it was really creepy. I was totally down for that, and I have to agree that it was pretty creepy, but did have some dull moments.

So the film starts out with two girls hanging out one night.

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One starts joking with the other, telling her about a story she heard about these people checking out a strange video, and later they recieved a call saying they would die in seven days. It quickly goes from funny too serious when the other girl, Tomoko, tells her friend that she saw the video and got the call. Her seventh day is tonight. She then says she was just kidding, and that it’s no big deal, she’s going to be fine. However the two go downstairs, Tomoko is killed by some unseen force. Her friend then goes into shock and has to be put in a mental institution. This scene is pretty creepy.

Tomoko’s aunt Reiko Asakawa is a journalist and comes over for the memorial, bringing her son.

reikoyoichi

She feels that something is not right, as there has to be more to the story. She starts going through some of Tomoko’s stuff and finds a strange picture of Tomoko and her and friends at a cabin in Izu. In the photo all the kids’ faces are blurred out. All the kids in the photo are also dead.

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 Reiko  goes down to the cabin in Izu and finds a strange tape, intrestingly it is not the orginal piece but a copy.  Reiko watches it and it is full of strange images that don’t seem to make any sense. At the end the image cuts off and snow flurries take over the screen.

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Immediately after, the phone rings and the voice on the phone says she only has seven days to live.

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The rest of the film is now counted in days as  Reiko’s time is limited.

Reiko goes to see her ex-husband, Ryūji Takayama. One thing they never explain is that Ryūji is a psychic. This is part of the reason why the two broke up as Reiko couldn’t deal with it. Reiko goes to him to tell him he might have to care for their son if she should die. Ryūji doesn’t believe her, so she forces him to take a picture of her. In the pic her face is blurred.

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Ryūji works with media and asks to see the video hoping to figure something out. Reiko doesn’t want to show it to him but gives in. He gets a call too. She also makes him a copy to study.

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Ryūji  is able to discover a phrase “frolic in brine, goblins be thine” hidden in the video, a saying that came from Izu Ōshima Island. That night, Reiko catches her son watching the tape and is now more than ever determined to discover how to defeat the thing that is killing people. Reiko and Ryūji team up and travel to the island to find out more.

On the island they discover that there used to be a great psychic Shizuko Yamamura. A doctor was working with her, showcasing her powers, but she was denounced a fake and disappered from sight.

The two find the doctor that was working with Shizuko and discover that the doctor had a deeper relationship with Shizuko than just studying her. He was her lover. Shizuko and him sired a child, Sadako, who was uncontrollable. She killed all the horses because they were disturbing her, killed people, etc. The father couldn’t handle her after the mom died and killed her by throwing her down a well. However, that didn’t completely kill Sadako as she psionically put her  vengeful spirit into the tape. This spirit or Onryō killed the teenagers.

The two go back to the Cabin because that is where the videotape surfaced. They uncover a well and try to empty it to appease her spirit. Minutes before the seven days are up, Reiko finally finds Sadako’s corpse at the bottom. She hugs her and kisses her forehead, giving her “a mother’s love”. When nothing happens to Reiko, they believe that the curse is broken.

All seems fine until the next day. Ryūji is at his home and his TV switches on by itself showing the image of a well. The ghost of Sadako crawls out of the well and out of Ryūji’s TV set.

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This wasn’t very creepy which disappointed me. I mean that was the whole buildup right? Well it just seemed very fake to me as she takes FOREVER to crawl across the floor.

So as Ryūji is dying he manages to dial Reiko’s number. She realizes the curse wasn’t broken and tries to figure out wat she did differently. She goes over everything she’s did in the past seven days and realizes what she did that Ryūji didn’t–copying the tape and showing it to Ryuji.  Reiko figures out that by having her son make a copy and give it to someone is the only way to save her son. The last shot is her driving to her father’s and talking to him on the phone letting him know that her son has a video to show him. (I know HORRIBLE BETRAYAL)

It was pretty creepy and compelling, but the last part when Sadako comes was just not creepy. But this film is worth a watch. What’s interesting is that the director Kôji Suzuki got his inspiration for the Ringu novel, which the film is based on, from his favorite horror movie Poltergeist.

Here is a cover page/poster for facebook I made as part of my countdown to Halloween.

24

When Potatoes Go Bad: Attack of the Killer Spuds (1999)


Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you

So I actually have this on VHS, so it counts as a horror movie!

I love Archie Comics, as I grew up reading them. My mom introduced me to them as she used to read the comics when she was growing up as a kid. The TV show based on Archie’s Weird Mysteries every Saturday morning. Great times! 😀

This episode is pretty creepy. It always makes me think of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and “Boys! Raise Giant Mushrooms in Your Cellar” from Ray Bradbury’s Machineries of Joy.

So the episode starts out with Jughead and Archie driving down to the TV station. Jughead had been watching a B Horror film movie marathon the night before, and saw that they were having a contest. He answered the questions correctly and became the big winner.  He asks Archie to help him collect his prize.

When Jughead gets to the station it turns out that his prize is a POTATO

Jughead isn’t that happy about it, but takes his freebie and goes on home. When Jughead gets home, he parks himself back on the couch and starts watching more TV, getting into the “zone”. He is so focused that he fails to realize that the potato is not your average spud. It starts to take over, creating its own Jughead creation, ver much like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, when they make the pod people.

The next day, Jughead is acting strangely. He is standing in a pot; trying to “absorb nutrients”. He hands out potatoes to everyone, calling them his “friends”. Reggie starts eating French Fries, which freaks Jughead out. He steals them away, screaming in horror at Reggie’s consumption. All are freaked out as Jughead has eaten more fries than anyone they’ve ever known.

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That night at Betty’s house, Archie and Betty are watching a television program. Betty was so engrossed in the show that the potato caught her off guard and she was taken over but Archie manages to save her. Afterwards, they decide to talk to Jughead about his new potato ‘friends’.

Soon Jughead’s potato friends have sprouted and taken over everyone in the town.

The only ones who are still “alive”, are Archie and Dilton. The two team up and discover that the potatoes must be coming from the TV studio, that is where it all began. Dilton and Archie plan on going there to destroy all connections.

When they get there, unfortunately the potato zombies are there and attacking.

Archie and Dilton try to climb up the tower, but Dilton is taken down by one of the potatoes.

It’s up to Archie to save the day. He tries to climb up, but is caught by a potato; he reaches up; attempting to hit the button to destroy the potatoes…..

He is barely able to make it, but does. All the potatoes burst and are destroyed. Everyone wakes up and are okay.  No one knows where the Great Potato came from or where he has gone, but for now they are safe.

It’s a great story! You should check it out to get the full effect.

More posts coming as we are counting down to Halloween!

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To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World

For the previous post, go to A Very Scary Story

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For more on aliens, go to You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Potato

For more on monster movies, go to A Monster Race

For more on Ray Bradbury, go to He Who Walks Behind the Rows

For more on zombies, go to They’re Coming to Get You Barbara