Should We Pity Miss Bates or Strive to Be Her?

Oh Miss. Bates. Often we see her in Emma  films or when we encounter her in the story we ignore her:

Find her annoying:

Or pity her:

But then something stood out to me this time I read it that made me wonder…

Hmm…

Maybe WE have always approached this character the wrong way and we should actually strive to BE her.

So let’s start at the beginning.

Miss Bates was the daughter of a vicar, he having passed on and left the family in an improvised state.

She isn’t known to be intelligent, witty, or wise.

She wasn’t considered beautiful when she was young and isn’t seen as such now,

She never was courted, engaged, or married.

Her youth passed by with no distinction.

She now is middle-aged and spends all her time taking care of her elderly mother.

 And she spends most of her time trying to stretch her dollars as far as they can go.

Yes, life seems to be pretty grim.

So why should we want to be like her?

Because, despite ALL this, despite her life and circumstances, this is how she is:

“And yet she was a happy woman, and a woman whom no one named without good-will[sic].”

And where does this happiness come from? How does she have such pleasant emotion in such a bleak situation?

“It was her own universal good-will[sic] and contented temper which worked such wonders.”

Yes, her happiness isn’t derived from objects, money, people, beauty, etc. She is happy because she wants to be happy…

And because she can find pleasure in everything.

“She loved everybody, was interested in everyone’s happiness, quicksighted[sic] to every body’s merits: thought herself a most fortunate creature, and surrounded with blessings in such an excellent mother, and so many good neighbors and friends, and a home that wanted for nothing.”

Yes, most of us would be complaining, grumbling, whining, or disgusted to have her life…

But that isn’t how Miss Bates react. Instead she is joyful in everything and thankful for all she has in her life, even though most would view it as nothing. She reminds me of the green onion girl from Veggietales. Always joyful in everything.

And because of her joyful spirit she finds herself enjoying “a most uncommon degree of popularity.”

And that’s why I believe we should strive to be like her. How much nicer would life be if we learn to love what we have? If we tried to be kind and compassionate to all? If we looked at the good in others and our life instead of focusing on the negative?

For more on Miss Bates, go to A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more Emma, go to When You Shockingly Relate to Mr. Woodhouse

For more Cristina Garcia quotes, go to Optimum Image

For more Charles Dickens quotes, go to Trek the Halls with Bones and Scotty

For more L.M. Montgomery quotes, go to I’m the Happiest Girl on Prince Edward Island: Anne of Green Gables

For more bible verses, go to Each Illustration is a Little Story. If You Watch Them, In a Few Minutes They Tell You a Tale: The Illustrated Man

For more Steve Maraboli quotes, go to The Final Chapter

Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

So this film is supposed to be a modern day retelling of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice.

Strangely enough it stars two people who had been in films based on Jane Austen’s work. Hugh Grant plays Daniel Cleaver, our George Wickham, when he was in the 1995 Sense and Sensibility as Edward Ferras.

And then we have Colin Firth as Mark Darcy, having played Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice (1995).

Now I understand why Colin Firth decided to be in the film, I read online that he thought it would distance him from the 1995 miniseries, along with killing the wet shirt.

But oh Colin Firth, you were so wrong.

That will never die

So let’s look at the film:

So prior to this viewing, I had seen the part where the mom has left the dad for another guy, the “vicars and tarts party”, and the very end in the snow.

From what I had seen I wasn’t really interested as I didn’t think it looked that good at all.

However, lots of people love it. Everyone says the films are funny and it was just given a third installment.

 My friend is one of those who loves this film and she convinced me to watch it with her.

I did and I really didn’t like it.

I just don’t get the love for this film!

It doesn’t really follow Pride & Prejudice, the characters aren’t that likable, the situations silly and don’t really make sense.

Mark & Bridget Falling in Love

Mark (Mr. Darcy) and Bridget (Elizabeth) barely have any screen time together, so they don’t really have the opportunity to grow in a relationship. This is a problem with modern adaptations as in the original tale (and in history), when people visited they didn’t stay a few days, they stayed weeks or months. Darcy spent a long time with Bingley, encountering Elizabeth when she came to assist in her sister’s recuperating. And then again when Elizabeth stayed with Charlotte. But here they meet up at a family party her parents are throwing, a dinner party, accidentally while she is on vacation with Daniel (Wickham), and they fall for each other?

It doesn’t really work. They should have had them spend more time together. I mean he decides to forgo a new career in New York, throws himself at her feet, etc. We should see why he would.

Bridget is an Empowering Character. Or is She?

Bridget is constantly being sexually harassed but does nothing about it.

What?!

I know! Look at the little tagline there, it says

“For anyone who’s ever been set up, stood up, or felt up”

And it acts like it is going to be real empowering or something. And is it? No!

Bridget never stands up for herself or does anything about; choosing to just suffer through it. We have her creepy uncle who every time he sees her grabs her butt. Does she tell him off or her parents so they stop inviting him? No. Instead she just lets him continue.

And then when Daniel gropes her in the elevator and says inappropriate comments, does she do anything? No She just lets him do whatever.

And then there is the way that her new job treats her, as breasts and a butt.

What kind of message is that saying, especially since it is “based” on a character who is renowned for the beauty of her wit?

I mean I’m not asking her to go all out like this:

I’m just asking for her to stand up for herself.

Where Oh Where is the Witticism?

Where is the wit? Elizabeth was a great character who always put her two cents in.

In this Bridget is made to be more of one who never thinks but just spouts off the first thing that pops in her head.

If only people followed this advice.

She is nothing like who she is based on at all.

Why Does Bridget Continue to Believe Daniel?

Why does Bridget go on believing Daniel after she finds out that he is a big fat liar?

Daniel tells Bridget this story about how Mark Darcy slept with his fiancé, being the nail in the coffin of hate. But then we find out that Daniel is a a liar and was not only cheating on Bridget, but she is the other woman.

What jerks

Yes, he was in a relationship the whole time and leading Bridget on with no intention of ever having it be more. Then when Bridget quits, we discover that Daniel had been keeping Bridget from moving ahead as he wanted to keep her to dabble in.

Why does she think anything he said is the truth? When I found out my ex cheated in me I was really angry:

But it also made me question everything he did and said. Why wasn’t it the same for her? I mean in the book Elizabeth doesn’t find out that Wickham is a liar until Darcy reveals what he did. And as soon as she sees him again, she lets him know that his drivel isn’t welcome here.

Why Did They Have Her Parents Separate?

I really don’t understand why the film has the mother and father split up. It doesn’t really enhance the plot or create growth for the characters. I mean the only thing it “adds” is that with the mom out of the way the truth about Daniel’s lie isn’t given until the end. I also didn’t like that she comes home on Christmas and everything is okay, the parents are back together. There isn’t even an emotional payoff in that.

Why Would Darcy Read Bridget’s Diary?

So Bridget leaves Mark downstairs while she changes out of her embarrassing underwear. She tells him to make himself comfortable and read some magazines and he reads her diary.

Really? I do not see Mark ever doing something like that when he has other options. He’s just not that type of guy at all.

And her running after him in the snow with no pants or coat. Yeah right, she would freeze before she met up with him.

Bridget’s Friends are Atrocious

Bridget’s friends are awful.

All they do is give horrible advice or make the situation worse.

Where is level-headed and realistic Charlotte?

Where is the kind, caring, always seeing the good Jane?

We have Tom who makes the situation worse, bringing the fight into the restaurant and the wait staff out; Shazzer who just complains and places all kinds of doubts in Bridget’s mind; and the other friend who just cries all the time.

No thank you.

So I haven’t read the book, (maybe I will like that better), but as for this film, except for a few good moments, I just don’t see why people like it. I don’t like it.

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

For more Pride & Prejudice adaptations, go to Austenland

For more Jane Austen films, go to Is Love at the Thanksgiving Parade Really Just Pride & Prejudice?

For more Jane Austen adaptations, go to Midnight in Austenland

For more Colin Firth, go to When I Get Into a Novel

For more Hugh Grant, go to The Eye of the Storm

I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

So this is an old post that I retooled as it had many mistakes. This old post is one of the reasons why I gave this blog the name Jane Austen Runs My Life, because there are certain elements of my life that are similar to Jane Austen concepts. Such as:

Emma and Mr. Elton:

Scenario 1

        Me and Norman

In the story of Emma, Mr. Elton is the village Vicar who is handsome and single. Every girl has her eye on him, except Emma as she does not wish to be married. Elton has his eye on her as he likes her beauty, social status, and money.

Emma tries to set him up with her friend Harriet, never realizing that the whole time Elton liked her. When Elton declares his “love” for her, she rejects him. Thus making him go into ARGS (Angry Rejected Guy Syndrome), find another girl to make her jealous. Of course it doesn’t work on Emma, because she doesn’t like him.

Anyways as you will see later, this is a recurring theme with me. The first of the guys to do this was Norman. Norman fell hard for me, and am still at a loss why. Maybe it was because I was nice to him. Who know? But then and there he decided the two of us were going to go out.

Just like Elton he did all these “cutesy” things (not really), to try and get me to like him. The funniest thing about this was that he was trying to be really subtle about it, but everyone could see what was going on.

Like Elton he would try and get me anything I needed; drink, napkins, etc. And he always had to be by my side. EVEN when I was sitting with friends.

Let me just squeeze in between you two.

Some may find this adorable, but I didn’t. I didn’t like having him everywhere I went, always popping up, and trying to secure a seat next to me.

The worst of it was when he found out that I knew he liked me. His friend told me, but I told him that Norman was so obvious, of course I knew. Seeing as I knew, Norman decided to up his game. Instead of just hanging around me, he started FOLLOWING ME EVERYWHERE. If I went into the bathroom he would wait outside. If I was talking to friends, he would wait in the corner. Sometimes he would never even talk to me, just be constantly by me.

I’m not one who likes to have people suffocating me like that. And he was EVERYWHERE! I knew he wouldn’t do anything to harm me, let’s face it I could totally take him down, but I still felt like I was in a horror movie.

I always feel like somebody’s watching me

Now Norman wasn’t a psycho. He only followed me when I was out with friends (we had the same group of friends so we ran into each other a lot). But like I said before, it was suffocating. I couldn’t handle it. I knew the only thing I could do was be right out mean to get rid of him. [ I was 16 at the time. Please excuses my horribleness on the account of me being young.]

Now for anyone out there, there is one VERY fast way to get rid of someone who like you.

1.  Embarrass them.

I have used this method many times as it is so easy to do and always works. [Once again, I was young. I’m not that way anymore. It’s funny, as horrible as my ex-boyfriend Michael was in breaking my heart, he really made want to treat guys better. He thought I was the nicest person ever, and made me want to be nice.]

The first thing I did with Norman was wait until he a bunch of friends all around him. (This is crucial as it is not only important to completely crush his ego in front of all his friends but provides witnesses so that he can’t say something happened that didn’t.) [Once again I was young]

Then I asked him sweetly, smiling (it’s a clincher, it relaxes them and they don’t realize what’s to come), if I could talk to him, making sure we stayed in front of his friends. (All their attention was riveted on us. Everyone knew that he liked me and I think they were all waiting to see what I would say.)

Then I told him, (sweet tone gone)

“Norman, you are freaking me out! You need to stop following me around!”

Then I immediately  left the scene of the crime with all his friends sniggering behind me. (Also important! Don’t let them get a word in, be there, be mean, and leave.) [I am cringing as I reread this. I was a horrible person. Horrible! Thank goodness Michael made me want to be nicer. I can’t believe I used to do that. But it is effective if anyone wants to use in the future.]

Some may say it was cruel, and I agree it was, [I really do] but it worked. After that Norman hated me and wouldn’t go near me. He exhibited every bit of the ARGS (Angry Rejected Guy Syndrome), and immediately started paying all his attention to my friend Ruth. He tried to make me jealous, by always sitting with her, talking to her, etc. He wanted to show me he was over me and could “do better”, but I didn’t mind, I got the space I wanted, and peace of mind.

Unfortunately Norman didn’t learn from his episode with me and continued to follow those he liked, causing him to strike out with many, many, many times.

At one point he had a girlfriend, but this behavior which she had originally thought cute, ended up freaking her out too. He ended up moving away, and I don’t what happened to him or what he’s doing with his life now. I hope that as he’s matured and has changed his MO for ladies attention and is doing better in the dating pool.

After all we may like to sing Rockwell’s great hit, but no one wants to live it.

For more on Emma (jeez this has been a real Emma month huh? Guess I just have it on the brain) go to A Real Man

For more of my favorite songs go to It’s the Final Countdown