Is Mr. Darcy Out There?

LookingforMr.Darcy

Now I’m not talking about a “Mr. Darcy”

Don't Stop Believing!

Don’t Stop Believing!

But I mean a “real” Mr. Darcy.

Mr-DarcyexcuseMe

Let me explain. So the other day I helped someone at work who’s last name was Darcy.

ooh!

ooh!

It was an older woman and I began thinking, does she have a son or grandson? And if she does did would she (or his parents) name him Fitzwilliam so he could be Fitzwilliam Darcy?

Really?

How cool would that be if you met a “real” Mr. Darcy? If you married a “real” Mr. Darcy!

Pride and prejudice kiss darcy elizabeth

I have always said to my friends if I ever married someone with a last name Stewart, and I had a son I’d name him Jimmy, so it was James Stewart. Marry someone with last name Wayne? The son is going to be Bruce. And the same goes for girls; last name Fisher, first name Carrie. And on and on. I think it would be hilarious!

She'll get what's coming to her.

Well whether he is a real Darcy or a “Mr. Darcy”, one day I’ll find him.

Darcy

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For more on Mr. Darcy, go to Waiter, There’s Some Disney in My Jane Austen

For more on Pride & Prejudice, go to Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

For more Austen men, go to Captain Wentworth’s Diary

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Things I Want

ThingsIWant

Numbers 3, 4 & 7; not really. But everything else is spot on, especially number 12

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For more book-filled posts, go to What Separates the Real Fans from the Fakes

How to Meet the Perfect Guy

It’s actually much easier than you thought. Here’s all you have to do.

RightGuyPhantomoftheOpera

Because if this happens, you know he is perfect.

WeClickPerfectPerson

Think of all the phan-tastical fun we would have!

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For more Phantom of the Opera, go to Fantom of the Opera

For more on looking for the perfect guy, go to It Doesn’t Exist

All That Glitters is Not Gold

diamondvsglitter

Sometimes you find something that you think is all that but in reality it is nothing.

Loyalty

Amen to that!

Relationship

It’s the sad truth. But I’m not worried:

don'tplaygames

Eventually I’ll meet the right guy who will appreciate me.

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For more quotes, go to Sleep is Not Important

It Doesn’t Exist

Ever feel as if finding the right guy is impossible?

Men&Mon

It’s like every guy you know is a loser.

HOrrible guy Sabrina Teenage Witch

That is if you can even meet single men.

Dontknowanysingleattractivemenilovelucy

They have the worst lines (I wrote a whole post on that). I mean one time I had the same guys in a corvette hit on me two days in a row. You’d think they’d get the point that I’m not interested and that they should really invest in some new lines.

No

Not to mention how guys seem to treat girls these days. The act like you are just a commodity and that you need to be giving of your whole self just because they’re willing to drop a couple bucks for food.

StarTrekBonesMcCoyPoorGirl PM

And if you refuse they call you names and say that you are being a prude, poor sport, b*****, or worse.

StoplisteningtoYouBigBangTheory

No wonder we girls are obsessed with fictional men.

SingleOnlyGoodMenFictionalAustenland

It sometimes feels as if you will never find anybody. As Marianne in Sense and Sensibility puts it:

NevermeetamanIcouldLove

I mean aren’t there any good men anymore?

HighstandardsExtraordinary

But don’t give up.

findperfectguy

That dream guy is out there. It may take him a while, but eventually you two will meet up.

SomedayPrinceWillComeMostLikelyLost

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For more on Marianne Dashwood, go to Some Things Never Change

For more Sarah Dessen, go to The Final Chapter

For more on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, go to Food, Food, Food!

If It Means A Lot to You

Audrey Hepburn Music Sabrina

So if you remember my post back in Dec, I’ll Be Alright Without You, I talked about creating a post that listed my favorite songs to help one get over heartache/a breakup; namely what songs really helped me. Well previously I wasn’t in the best place to do it, but now that it has been like eight months since we’ve broken up I’m doing great and can totally handle it.

Pierce the Veil

At least for the most part, like Audrey says in Sabrina, even if you are over things certain songs can bring back memories.

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The other reason that I have decided to do this list is that I just had a friend go through a breakup and was really struggling, so I promised to put together a compilation for her that helped me through everything.

Music

So actually instead of doing them in all one post, I decided to do a series of posts, weaving them through everything else, so that it isn’t one straight sobfest. I mean imagine trying to storm through constantly sad things?

right in the feels broken heart

After all:

youare

So that brings us to the first song on this list

A Day to Remember

1) If It Means A Lot to You

So when my ex and I first started dating he gave me a bunch of CDs to listen to. And one of them was this CD by A Day to Remember. It was pretty fitting as I was away from Michael and a lot of the songs expressed how I felt about us being apart. In fact I used to listen to this song all the time pre & post-breakup. (I’m not sure if that is romantic or pathetic? Hopefully romantic) So the series is a little scattered, not all songs focus on being “homesick”, however If It Means A Lot to You does. I actually think it is the most powerful song on the whole list, and my favorite (as I connected the most to it).

This song took me the longest to write. It took almost a year, but it was another song that kinda stumped me. I really needed this song to say exactly what I wanted, and I finally got it there. We didn’t know if it would be on the record right up until the end of recording. I wrote it separate from the band, and I wasn’t comfortable changing things. It all worked out in the end, though. I think it’s the perfect end to this record.

                            – Jeremy McKinnon
So the premise of the song is that a guy has to be on the road away from home, and while he doesn’t want to leave his girlfriend, he has to go. He talks about how he knows things are hard and getting rough, but if she could just wait a little longer then he knows everything will be okay, that they will be able to work through everything. She, however, can’t wait. She can’t do it and breaks up with him. It is a heartwrenching song and even more so because it described EXACTLY how I was feeling.
WaitingLove
So the song starts off with the guy singing to the girl that he hopes everything is going well with her and that he just needs to hear from her, anything to get him by the time they are apart. This was totally how I felt, because a few weeks before we broke up Michael stopped texting and calling me. I would ask him when he was free to talk/skype as I missed him and he would tell me he was “busy” ,”didn’t know his schedule”, etc. I mean I found some texts that I thought I deleted, but my phone saved (grr) and its pretty pathetic my responses. “Well just let me know when you are free, I miss you” and “Okay we can try to talk later”, etc. I’d like to say aliens momentarily took over my brain, but that’s not true. It’s hard to accept that someone you cared for and cared for you has just stopped liking you. You kind of go into denial about it. Of course I know now that I’m in my right mind, I should have seen the signs. After all:
Truly Important
So back to the lyrics and the song
And hey darling,
I hope you’re good tonight.
And I know you don’t feel right when I’m leaving.
Yeah, I want it but no, I don’t need it.
Tell me something sweet to get me by,
‘Cause I can’t come back home till they’re singing
La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing
ADtR
The next part is all about how he knows that if she can just wait a little longer, that he knows everything will work out and be okay. I wasn’t originally going to go home for Thanksgiving break as my aunt was getting married and my whole family was going to the opposite end of the state to do that, and Michael said he couldn’t get the time off to join my family. I however convinced my parents to take me home instead of right back to school as I wanted to see him, as I too thought that if he could wait until I got home we would be able to work through whatever was going on. That everything would be okay.

If you can wait till I get home, 
Then I swear to you that we can make this last. 
(La la la) 
If you can wait till I get home, 
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past. 
Well it might be for the best.
ADTR2

So then we have the girlfriend’s response that she just can’t do it anymore, that she needs him. As much as I hate what she does to the guy at least she gave a reason for why she was breaking up, I just got the “I don’t think you’re my future bride” response, which was like pulling teeth trying to get him to say anything why he broke it off. 

And hey sweetie,
Well I need you here tonight,
And I know that you don’t wanna be leaving me
Yeah, you want it, but I can’t help it.
I just feel complete when you’re by my side,
But I know you can’t come home till they’re singing

La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing.
La, la la la, la la la.

If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear to you that we can make this last.
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.
Well it might be for the best.

So in the next part she tells him she can’t wait its over. And he freaks out, like is this really truly happening? How can this be my life? Let me say that everytime I hear that part my heart stops just like when Michael said he wanted it to be over.

Broken HeartAnd he is in shock at how this can acutually be happening. Yep, I felt that too. And just like the singer in this song, I did not want to be “just friends”. I personlly don’t believe and can’t understand how one can go from being so much more to “just friends”? How can you watch the person who just rejected you pick up their life and move on, while you sit in heartbreak and try very slowly to work past the pain? I sure don’t know.

heartbroken

 

You know you can’t give me what I need.
And even though you mean so much to me,
I can’t wait through everything,
Is this really happening?
I swear I’ll never be happy again.
And don’t you dare say we can just be friends.
I’m not some boy that you can sway.
We knew it’d happen eventually.

ADTR3

La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(If you can wait till I get home)
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(Then I swear we can make this last)
Now everybody’s singing.

La, la la la, la la la,
(If you can wait till I get home)
Now everybody’s singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
(Then I swear we can make this last)
Now everybody’s singing.
La

Now some of you may be wondering why I started off with such a sad song instead of a more empowering or forget you song. Well I believe that you need to allow yourself to grieve the end and that listening to something sad helps make things get better.

Latenightsinmycar_sadsings_realfriends

So even though this song (and Hey There Delilah) still make me sad as the feels are just so much, it was still hepful listening to this over and over to help voice my feelings about the breakup.

moveonSarahDessen3

 So that’s the first of many songs, and they do get empowering, you just have to wait for it.

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For the next song in the Heartbreak series, go to The End by Silverstein

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Here are some other posts you might interested in:

For more of my favorite songs, go to Once Upon a Time

For more on breakups, go to Unbound (The Wild Ride)

For more on ex-boyfriends, go to Push All the Buttons!

For more on Sarah Dessen, go to Happy B-Day

For a song that describes life, go to Nothing But a Good Time

The Real Revolutionary

So I was thinking today about how everyone says that Elizabeth Bennet, from Pride and Prejudice, “is revolutionary in that she actively rejects the conventions of the time in which it is written. Her determination to choose her own husband, using “rational” Love as her main criteria, deems her as a rebel of her time.”  But you know who the real revolutionary? Emma Woodhouse from Emma.

crazy

Now I don’t want you to think that I’m denouncing the things Elizabeth stands for or her accomplishments at being a revolutionary character, but face it Emma is much more revolutionary.

Say What

Now most people forget about the revolutionary aspects of Emma’s character because they focus more on the love triangle, Emma’s meddling, etc. But in actuality Emma is a more revolutionary character.

Grease Tell Me more

EWvsEB

So first of all we have what Elizabeth is famous for, her decision not to marry Mr. Collins, but rather wait for love. She dreams of marrying one day to a man that completes her. As we can tell by Charlotte’s defense:

Charlotte-Lucas

Unlike Charlotte, Elizabeth is a romantic. She has an ideal, fairytale prince she is waiting for. She’s waiting for a highly practical and sensible one, but still waiting for her Mr. Right. Now this is revolutionary. Women lacked any options at all, they usually did only what their parents instructed of them. They married only for security, standing, and wealth. They tended to have very little happiness as their husbands would have mistresses and spend all their time with them, or involved in so many vices (gambling, drinking, drugs) etc. The book & TV show The Buccaneers, really shows the realistic side of marriage in the time (if you have Amazon Instant Watch you can watch it free).

Emma on the other hand rejects marriage. Granted, unlike Elizabeth, she has the money and power to support herself (her estate is not entailed); but still this is extremely revolutionary. She embraces the idea of being a spinster.OMG

I know right?

“I do so wonder, Miss Woodhouse, that you should not be married, or going to be married! so charming as you are!”—

Emma laughed, and replied,

“My being charming, Harriet, is not quite enough to induce me to marry; I must find other people charming—one other person at least. And I am not only, not going to be married, at present, but have very little intention of ever marrying at all.”

“Ah!—so you say; but I cannot believe it.”

“I must see somebody very superior to any one I have seen yet, to be tempted; Mr. Elton, you know, (recollecting herself,) is out of the question: and I do not wish to see any such person. I would rather not be tempted. I cannot really change for the better. If I were to marry, I must expect to repent it.”

Dear me!—it is so odd to hear a woman talk so!“—

“I have none of the usual inducements of women to marry. Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing! but I never have been in love; it is not my way, or my nature; and I do not think I ever shall. And, without love, I am sure I should be a fool to change such a situation as mine. Fortune I do not want; employment I do not want; consequence I do not want: I believe few married women are half as much mistress of their husband’s house as I am of Hartfield; and never, never could I expect to be so truly beloved and important; so always first and always right in any man’s eyes as I am in my father’s.

“But then, to be an old maid at last, like Miss Bates!”

“That is as formidable an image as you could present, Harriet; and if I thought I should ever be like Miss Bates! so silly—so satisfied—so smiling—so prosing—so undistinguishing and unfastidious—and so apt to tell every thing relative to every body about me, I would marry to-morrow. But between us, I am convinced there never can be any likeness, except in being unmarried.”

“But still, you will be an old maid! and that’s so dreadful!”

“Never mind, Harriet, I shall not be a poor old maid; and it is poverty only which makes celibacy contemptible to a generous public! A single woman, with a very narrow income, must be a ridiculous, disagreeable old maid! the proper sport of boys and girls, but a single woman, of good fortune, is always respectable, and may be as sensible and pleasant as any body else. And the distinction is not quite so much against the candour and common sense of the world as appears at first; for a very narrow income has a tendency to contract the mind, and sour the temper. Those who can barely live, and who live perforce in a very small, and generally very inferior, society, may well be illiberal and cross. This does not apply, however, to Miss Bates; she is only too good natured and too silly to suit me; but, in general, she is very much to the taste of every body, though single and though poor. Poverty certainly has not contracted her mind: I really believe, if she had only a shilling in the world, she would be very likely to give away sixpence of it; and nobody is afraid of her: that is a great charm.”

“Dear me! but what shall you do? how shall you employ yourself when you grow old?”

“If I know myself, Harriet, mine is an active, busy mind, with a great many independent resources; and I do not perceive why I should be more in want of employment at forty or fifty than one-and-twenty. Woman’s usual occupations of hand and mind will be as open to me then as they are now; or with no important variation. If I draw less, I shall read more; if I give up music, I shall take to carpet-work. And as for objects of interest, objects for the affections, which is in truth the great point of inferiority, the want of which is really the great evil to be avoided in not marrying, I shall be very well off, with all the children of a sister I love so much, to care about. There will be enough of them, in all probability, to supply every sort of sensation that declining life can need. There will be enough for every hope and every fear; and though my attachment to none can equal that of a parent, it suits my ideas of comfort better than what is warmer and blinder. My nephews and nieces!—I shall often have a niece with me.”

You see Emma embraces the idea of spinsterhood, the very thing that Charlotte is afraid of and what causes her to marry Mr. Collins as a stupid man is seen as better than no man at all. Elizabeth isn’t afraid like Charlotte Lucas as she believes it will eventually happen, never considering what will happen if Mr. Right doesn’t come along. Emma on the other hand has the attitude of forget men, I don’t need them in my life, maybe one will come around that will cause me to think differently, but if I never experience love I will be A-okay.

Now this is HUGE for the times. Being a spinster was seen as beyond a horrible thing. It was a last result. It was the most deplorable thing a woman could amount to. But to Emma she doesn’t see it that way. She sees it an opportunity to live her life however she decides.

And when she finds out that Mr. Knightly might get with another person, she doesn’t wish that he would choose her instead, what she wishes is that nothing will change, that they will remain friends.

“Wish it she must, for his sake—be the consequence nothing to herself, but his remaining single all his life. Could she be secure of that, indeed, of his never marrying at all, she believed she should be perfectly satisfied.—Let him but continue the same Mr. Knightley to her and her father, the same Mr. Knightley to all the world; let Donwell and Hartfield lose none of their precious intercourse of friendship and confidence, and her peace would be fully secured.”

I think we have a clear winner here.

Miss Woodhouse (2009)

Miss Emma Woodhouse (2009)

 

Emma, the real revolutionary.

For more on Emma go to On the 10th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Pride & Prejudice go to Flu Season