Unmarriageable: Pride and Prejudice in Pakistan

Unmarriageable by Soniah Kamal

So at the library we added this book in June of last year, but as “new books” only have a 14 day checkout limit, I decided to wait. The reading isn’t the hard part as I can read fast, but I sometimes have trouble with the review part-you know life happens.

My life motto right there…

So I ended up checked the book out in October. But then I didn’t get around to reading it until April 2020 (returning and checking it out again) as life (and other books) got in the way.

This book takes place in 2000-2001 Pakistan and starts off with the Binat family. Bark Binat (Mr. Bennet) used to be a wealthy man from a wealthy family, but when his father became ill he relied heaily on Binat’s brother Goga and wife Tinkle. Goga was more traditional, while Bark loved American culture. Bark also fell hard for Khushboo “Pinkie” Gardenaar. Tinkle hated the beautiful girl instantly, and that she would forevermore be compared to her sister-in-law (who is far prettier than her.) She continued to spread slander about her and them, even more after Pinkie gave birth to two gorgeous girls, Jena (Jane) and Alys (Elizabeth). The family was later completed with Lady (Lydia), Qitty (Kitty), and Mari (Mary).

Goga decided to diversify the accounts and start some shops up in Saudi Arabia. Bark didn’t really like it, but as a dutiful brother he wet out there. Life was good but dangerous at times. If anything were to happen, they would always side with Saudis, even if they were in the wrong. After being rear-ended by a Saudi Prince and managing to just get a fine and broken arm he returned to Lahore, Pakistan but discovered his father dead, that his brother stole all the money, and lies and rumors abounding that Bark lost it all in bad investments.

Alys encouraged him to get a lawyer, but he said nothing could be done (having been bribed by Goga)-so the once mighty Binat family has fallen, is continuously gossiped about, and having to figure out what to do next.

The two eldest girls-Jena and Ayls started working at the British School of Dilipabad. It has been 10 years since their return and fall from grace.

Ayls is seen as a rebel to the other girls, teachers, and friends. She constantly encourages her students and sisters to go against the status quo of tradition and be who they want to be. Jena is more traditional, Mary is extremely religious, Lady wants to be famous and rich-and Qitty is still trying to find her place often fighting with Lady.

Life probably would have stayed the same except they received an invitation that changes everything-yes the Binats have been cordially invited to the NadirFiede wedding and Pinkie was pleased as punch that her girls would have an opportunity to trap a husband.

With them attending the mehndi, nikah, and walima ceremonies (two in Dilipad and one in Lahore) they should have ample time to hook a man.

My girls better be the hunters.

At the wedding the family has fun, some people-Lady-having more than others and meet the Binglia clan (Bingley)-“Hammy” Binglia (Caroline), Sumeria “Sammy” Binglia Riyasat (Mrs. Hurst), Sultan “Jaans” Riyaset (Mr. Hurst), and Fahad “Bungles” Binglia (Mr. Bingley). The women hate being in D-Pad, their name for Dilliapad, but Bungles enjoys especially after he meets Jena, only having eyes for her.

They also meet Valntine Darsee (Mr. Darcy)-the guy who happens to own the school that Alyss and Jena work at. He cold, standoffish, grumpy, and jetlagged.

Things get worse as they all sit to eat and Pinkie, Lady Qitty, Mari make fools of themselves and the Binat family. Hammie, Sammie, and Darsee are not pleased. Later that evening Ayls hears Bungles and Darsee talking about Jena. Bungles is crazy about her, and mentions Ayls but Darsee thinks she is just a country bumpkin.

However, the next day/event he hears her talking to a former student about her thesis and starts to view her in a new light.

Bungles invites Jena to a polo match and they all go to Lahore. The driver drops Jena at the match, while Ayls takes a walk in the park, getting sweaty. She goes to the car to return home but it is missing-and it is 2000 so no cellphone! She returns to the polo clubhouse to use a phone and discovers that Jena hurt her ankle when stomping the divots.

They take Jena to the doctors but Hammy and Sammy talk bad about her saying she is faking it to trick Bungles.

Jena is injured by a slight sprain. And Bungles pays for the whole thing, even an overnight stay. He wants to remain there but Ayls kicks him out as they need to protect Jena’s reputation. The rest of the Binat family drop by and thoroughly embarrasses Jena and Ayls. Just…OUCH!

Later as they are waiting for the final party, Ayls goes to the lawyers regarding a land dispute. It is over ten years that it has been going on, and as her father doesn’t trust any lawyers after what happened with Goga-Ayls takes care of all the money matters for him. At the lawyers’ Ayls meets Jeorgeullah Wickaam.

Ayls is charmed by him, although I don’t know why. He is flib and has nothing in common with her. I mean he hates reading-and she loves books.

Guys who don’t are not.

Wickham takes her to see the land in dispute and then out to see the changing of the guard at Wagah-Attari. There they run into Darsee and Wickaam reveals he and Darsee are cousins but don’t get along.

Wickaam shares that his parents died when he was young, alongside Darcy’s father. He moved in with him and his aunt and it was good except that Darsee was a jerk to him and Darsee’s little sister. After Darsee’s mother remarried they moved to Thailand and Wickaam went to stay with other relatives. After Darsee’s mother died, Wickaam was written out of the will by Darsee and lost everything. Of course with her past-something Wickaam knows ALL ABOUT being their lawyer after all-Ayls believes him and hates Darsee.

Alys hates Darsee

Alys of course shares with Jena, but Jena is very against it. Because of their past she knows that relatives can say whatever they want, but it isn’t necessarily the truth. Plus Jena doesn’t think Darsee is that type of person or that Bungles wouldn’t be friends with him.

Hmmm…

Christmas comes and the Binat family visit Nasir and Nona Gardenaar. At the party their cousin, Farhet Kaleen, comes visiting, a physiatrist-a healer of the pain management. He moved to Pakistan as his wife died and he is looking for a replacement.

Kaleen wants Jena, but Pinkie insists she will be engaged soon and instead directs him toward Ayls.

Pinkie claims Alys is traditional, meek, religious, etc-even though like what was she thinking. Why didn’t she try to get him with Mari?

They go to the final wedding party and run into Darsee who gives Ayls the book they talked about when Jena was in the hospital.

He’s so romantic!

After the wedding  no proposal comes for Jena, Kaleen proposes to Ayls who rejects him and ends up marrying Ayls’ best friend Sherry Looclus (Charlotte Lucas). Jena gets depressed and goes to stay with their family in Lahore. Wickaam hitches his rising star to another lady, with a larger bank account. Will the Binat fortune ever chage? It looks like things will stay the same-but will a visit to Sherry present Ayls with an opportunity to see Darsee in another way?

I actually read this book back in April but had a hard time writing this review. Everyone I follow on instagram, facebook, twitter, etc-loves this book. However, reading it right after Pride, Prejudice, and Other Flavors, I didn’t have such a strong love for it. I didn’t hate it, I really enjoyed it except for one thing-one crucial thing.

Hmmm…

So I’ll start with what I didn’t like and then end with everything I did like. I just couldn’t stand the character of Alys.

I know, she is supposed to be Elizabeth, but I just found her to be annoying at times. I felt she was just constantly insisting that her way is the only right way. I like that she encourages people, espechially her students, but what I didn’t like was when she encourages those that she knows she shouldn’t. Her little sister, Lady (Lydia) wants to be a model and her father says no and even though  Alys knows that it is a bad idea, she even says it later in the book, she argues for her sister pursuing her dream because “all women have a right to be whatever they want to be”. The sentiment and Alys’ heart is in the right place but Alys knows (better than her father) that her sister lacks the maturity and guidance to navigate the modeling world. Lady’s lack of temperance, youth, inexperience, and “do whatever is fun” mentality would get her in a lot of trouble. Proof of that is shown when they go to the fashion party and she’s there for only a few seconds before everything goes downhill.

Alys also spent a majority of the book against marriage, to which everyone is allowed to their own opinion, I see nothing wrong with that. But for someone who constantly shares and encourages women to be whatever they want to be and accomplish their dreams, but then is very unaccepting of the dream of being a housewife and mother-that kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I mean for some people that’s all they really want to be and there is nothing wrong with them choosing that.

The other thing that I didn’t care for was that Ayls throughout the book constantly states everything women can do and achieve without getting married and without a man-but then Alyss and Jena do none of those things until they are married (let alone married to wealthy men). It felt like mixed messages to me.

I liked all the other characters in the book, along with really enojying the storyline. I think this and Pride, Prejudice, and Other Flavors really show how universal the themes of Jane Austen are. And how a lot of Regency standards continue to plague some cultures. I mean as a Latina woman I felt “the ‘need’ to be married” and on my Italian side saw how unmarried, childless women were viewed. I have friends of Indian and Japanese descent and they have shared they feel the same.

I think Kamal also made it clear the class systems in Pride and Prejudice better than a lot of people do. I mean living in 21st century USA (me) you don’t quite understand how unusual it was that someone from an old established family, Mr. Darcy, would be best friends with Charles Bingleys (new money).  And reading this book, it really brings the understanding why Caroline was trying so so hard to harpoon Mr. Darcy. Handsome, rich, and the social class they need? He would be a major coup. It also makes it clear why she and her sister were so anti-Jane Bennet and wanted Mr. Bingley with Georgiana. After all the work they have done in social climbing, they didn’t want the Bennet family messing up their plans.

My favorite though had to be Sherry Looclus (Charlotte Lucas,). I thought she was extremely well done. I think Kamal not only understood the character of Charlotte perfectly but understand how to present her in modern culture for readers to really understand her plight. I also thought it was fascinating all she goes through to get married, all the little ceremonies she has to conduct to “interview” as a potential new member of their family.

Please pick me.

I always felt for Charlotte, but never really focused on her as the other characters kind of overshadowed her. In this I was rooting for Charlotte/Sherry and I wanted her to have joy and happiness, in any way possible. The first guy she is engaged to goes to Germany and marries a German woman, the next one dies (he had a liver condition he didn’t disclose), she’s infertile, and now any guy her parents pick she has to go through a series of steps to try and have someone deem her worthy. And she still continues on, poor Sherry.

After she married, I turned the pages and read quickly to see if things went well as I just felt for Sherry and I wanted her to happy.

Tell ME!!!!!

I also love how the principal who has treated Sherry like dirt this whole time, totally changes her tune when she finds out that she is engaged to Kaleen, the school’s owner being his benefactor (Begum Beena da Bagh). Now the principal has to treat Sherry like a princess.

In fact Sherry was the crown jewel in this book. I loved her character!

The Bingleys/Binglas were perfection. I love how Kamal created them. Humeria “Hammy” Binglia (Caroline) and Sumeria “Sammy” Binglia Riyasat (Mrs. Hurst) were just perfect as women of new money trying to raise themselves in society and not always doing the right social cues. They want to speak to people of worth and confuse Sherry Looclus with Sherry Pupels, the politicians wife. Oops!

That’s embarressing.

And Sultan “Jaans” Riyaset (Mr. Hurst) was just perfectly awful. He is fleshed out more here than the just the food-loving man in P&P, and it really showcases how the Bingleys/Binglas are on the search for titles, old classy names, etc-not personality.

Ugh, this guy.

I also liked the depiction of Anne. If I was going to rewrite it, I personally like the version of Anne pretending to be sick so she doesn’t have to be this perfect woman her mother is always bragging about. But in this she was a famous model who fell to a mysterious illness and even though that stopped some of her plans and ambitions she was going to persevere and not be silenced. I really liked that and thought it was a great addition.

You can also clearly see that Soniah Kamal loves literature and I really enjoyed the scenes when Ayls and Darsee discuss the different books they love.

So I didn’t hate the book, in fact this is the best depiction of Charlotte Lucas I have ever seen-but as Ayls wasn’t my favorite depiction of Elizabeth I didn’t absolutely love it. I definitely think Austen fans should check it out-I’m not kidding when I think this is a fantastic depiction of Charlotte Lucas.

For more Pride and Prejudice, go to At Legend’s End

For more depictions of Charlotte Lucas, go to The Colonel

For more Jane Austen adaptions, go to Sense and Sensibility (1995)

For more Jane Austen book adaptions, go to Interference: Friday Night Lights Meets Emma

Lifetime Didn’t Go Psycho Enough: Psycho Mother-in-Law (2019)

So I was just in a Lifetime-movie marathon mood (say that five times fast) and seeing what films I can get to watch free on Youtube. This popped up and I began watching.

But I was actually very disappointed in it, as I am with all these newer films. The ’80s and ’90s film were much better in story lines.

This had the potential to be better, but didn’t go as far as it could have.

Disappointed!

Sharon Vickers (Romy Rosemont) is a single mom who is all about her daughter, Amber (Victoria Diamond). But lately Amber has no time for her mother. She calls but only gets answering machines and hardly ever gets to speak to her. Amber just has no time for her mom anymore.

I’m not happy

This makes her sad, and angry. She is a hospice nurse, but you don’t want her as she kills her patients. Eeek!

But this day is different. Sharon goes home to find a message that her daughter is engaged to her boyfriend Luke (Matthew Raudsepp) and they are staying with Luke’s mother, Jill Jones (Kari Matchett). They invite Sharon to come and celebrate the engagement party and she goes.

The Bat

But all is not well with Sharon. She is pleased about Tom, but she does not like Jill. Jill is blond and perfect and trying to replace Sharon in Amber’s life.

No joke, I started thinking that Jill was the psycho-in-law, even though we had for real watched Sharon murder someone already.

Pamela Voorhees: [high voice] Kill her, Mommy! Kill her! Don’t let her get away, Mommy! Don’t let her live!
[normal voice]
Pamela Voorhees: I won’t, Jason. I won’t!

I mean Jill was so “kind” but was clearly trying to take over. She talks down to the mom and makes fun of her to everyone.

She has taken Amber dress shopping, caterer testing, and already has firmed down several wedding plans and they just got engaged like a day or two ago.

She manipulates Sharon out of everything-the wedding, Sharon’s wedding dress, any tradition at all-and takes all of Amber’s time with “work”.

Jill runs a powerful gallery and Amber is an artist, so Amber will do all she can to keep the contacts Jill promises and of course she wants her mother-in-law to like her. When Luke makes a joke about spending their first Christmas with Sharon after tasting her cooking, Jill goes full on angry and moves the conversation back in her court.

Amber decides to wear her mom’s dress, but Jill manipulates her into thinking it is ugly and will be ugly on her.

In fact, Amber makes a date to go with her mom wedding dress shopping, just to look and Jill crashes the party, offers to pay for a super expensive dress, and wipes the mom out of the picture completely.

The vacation ends and Sharon goes to leave, but returns to tear up the house. Unfortunately, Jill comes, and Sharon knocks her off the second floor.

Ouch

Here is where the film dies for me. Sharon takes Jill home to “nurse” her back to health as she has a broken leg, more a Misery nursing than anything else, and eventually plans to murder Jill in order to have Amber back. This just felt so overdone and out of line as what is her endgame? There is no coming back from torturing your soon to be in-law.

Or plot!

Now, I think Jill was also pretty psycho in her manipulation and cutting Sharon out of the picture. I mean Amber calls Jill more than her own mother!

How much more awesome that instead of Sharon being the psycho mother-in-law they both were psychos. What if instead of having a broken leg, Jill pretended and the two play against each other for their kids’ love and attention?

Hmmm?

I think that would be much better than a Misery reboot. What do you think?

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more deadly engagements, go to He’s Married to a Corpse. He Has A Corpse Bride!: Corpse Bride (2005)

For more Lifetime Movies, go to Who Did I Marry?: The Stranger Beside Me (1995)

 

Did the Bride Run Off Or Was She Kidnapped?: Veil of Secrets (2018)

What Happened to Kate?

So remember how I started playing that game Desire & Decorum from the app Choices?

I know it has been a while since I reviewed an episode.

Well Choices creates games that are similar to the game design in the film Big. A computer game/book that you read but get to make choices as to what will happen next.

Wow!

You have a mix of film and book storytelling in combo of a video game.

Wow

So last year I playing this one and wanted to renew it for Horrorfest, but I hadn’t finished playing it yet. I ended up doing It Lives in the Woods and decided to save this for this year.

So the story starts off with you, New York reporter, going to visit your best friend/college roommate Katherine O’Malley in Bridgeport as she is getting married!

Time for a wedding!

You haven’t had a chance to spend as much time together recently, so you haven’t even met the fiancé or the other members of the wedding part. But it quickly looks like this wedding will not be a happy affair.

When you get there you discover that she is marrying the supper wealthy Tanner Sterling-he’s seems like a Prince Charming-but his family is awful-looking down and treating Kate bad.

Then there are her “friends” who are horrible! The maid of honor Scarlett Emerson puts down Kate and treats her like dirt as well. Something is not right here.

You also meet lawyer and Scarlett’s brother, Grant Emerson, he’s okay; along with Kate’s brother Flynn-ex-con and dockworker.

Depending on your choice, you either you go out to an impromptu Bachelorette party, but either way you encounter a drunk Kate after at your hotel room later. She is worried about something, but drunk, and before you can get her to say what it is-angry Tanner comes storming in and pulls her away-all she manages to do is pass a note with the word “Ulysseus” on it.

Hmm, I don’t know about this…

The next day you go to the wedding, but when “Here Comes the Bride” plays, no bride walks down the aisle. The bride is missing!!!!

Gone Girl

Has Kate has run off…or has she been kidnapped?

It’s up to you to solve the case! You team up with Flynn and Deputy Naomi Silverhawk. You investigate the clues and have your choice of which romantic interest you desire.

Which way should I choose?

As is ever other choice in the game. Now you will reach the final conclusion either way, but you do have points where you will have to pay with your “diamonds” to investigate to get more information.

Mystery, you say?

So as you start investigating you discover the beautiful town of Bridgeport is straight  out of David Lynch-beautiful on the outside but something rotten under the surface.

Blue Velvet was an interesting movie. One day, I’ll review it, but not today.

Anyways, so time progresses and even though the Tanners are insisting that Kate ran off it is clear that something bad has happened to Kate. As you investigate you discover that the police force is corrupt (except Naomi) and don’t want you investigating:

Tanner was cheating on Kate:

You jerk!

Scarlet hated her guts and has some serious emotional issues:

Tanner’s brother is a total creepazoid:

And his parents do not want them to get married:

Did one of them do something to her? Could it have been more than one person?

Time to get on the case!

But as you continue with the case, you discover a secret so big-it could burn Bridgeport to the ground.

I thought this was an amazing mystery and extremely well done! I enjoyed it so much I have played it multiple times so that I can get every single clue.

If this is your kind of thing, you should play today!

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more on Veil of Secrets, go to Kissing the Blarney Stone: 7 More Irish Heroes

For more on Choices, go to Happiness is Having a Library Card: Another 13 of the Best Fictional Libraries

For more on kidnapping, go to Those Men Are Not Going to Stand for Nancy Drew Poking Her Little Nose Into Their Affairs: Nancy Drew, Detective (1938)

For more weddings, go to The Conscripted Seamstress

The Conscripted Seamstress

From the Madsen Creations tumblr: Fashion Inspiration Journal

So I do not sew-not at all. I have tried to do it and have failed again and again. Sewing is just not for me. I get completely flabbergasted.

From the Madsen Creations tumblr: Fashion Inspiration Journal

I am like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality, when I look at the sewing machine and the instruments.

So those of you who follow me on instagram and facebook may have seen my embroidery, and might be wondering, isn’t that the same thing as sewing?

Sewing is about construction-in clothing or accessories. Typically you are joining two pieces of fabric together to make something or mending a hole or frayed edge.

Embroidery is about style-you are adding careful and intricate stitching to something, to elevate a pillowcase, dishcloth, blanket, or other home goods.

So embroidery is something I know how to do, my mom taught us young and I have embroidered pillows, dishcloths, pillowcases, blankets, baby shirts, etc. After all:

So last week my friend was getting married and she was planning on saving money by wearing her mother’s old dress.

I told her to try it on months before, just in case it didn’t fit, but she didn’t. On Thursday, two nights before the wedding, she tried the dress on and it didn’t fit.

They weren’t able to add more cloth to it, instead a new dress had to be made. Friday, the day before the wedding.

But my sister, she went to work and created a dress in a day.

What?

After the dress rehearsal, I went over to my parent’s house and saw my sister sewing on appliques to the dress. If she was to be doing it on her own, she was going to be up all night and we were supposed to be at the church at 9 on Saturday.

Ouch!

So my mom lent a hand and then they conscripted me into service.

Like I said sewing is not for me, and I kept messing up. I threaded the needle wrong and it kept falling out. And I was moving so slow…

We stayed up until two in the morning and my sister and mother did lots of appliques…but in the four hours I sewed….I did one.

Yes, this is why I don’t sew. But I was pretty proud of my one applique.

For more on sewing, go to Desire & Decorum: Chapter 3, Threading the Needle

For more embroidery, go to Jane Austen Manors

For more on weddings, go to Crazy Rich Asians

Cheese Round

So my friend is getting married!

Last year she threw me a “Jane Austen Tea Party Bridal Shower

This year, she wanted a “Spring Tea Bridal Shower”. She asked me to make a Cheese Round for the party. The original title of the recipe is Christmas Cheese Round from my sister blog, MysteriousEats.wordpress.com. I’ve made it before for our cheese and fruit/movie parties we always have. We love cheese.

Ingredients:

  • 1 Cup of Shredded Cheddar Cheese
  • 1 Cup of finely chopped Pecans (I used my blender to take care of it)
  • 8 0z Cream Cheese Brick
  • 1/2 Cup of Chopped Green Onions

Directions:

  1. Combine all ingredients. Pack into a round or ball.
  2. Chill for two hours to overnight.
  3. Serve with crackers or bread

The crackers I chose were Milton’s Everything Crackers (the best!), Organic Triscuit Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil, and the Mary’s Gone Crackers Gluten-Free Crackers. All were from the Grocery Outlet, so they are all $1.99.

YUM!

This is the best cheese round/ball or whatever you want to call it that I have ever had. I could eat the whole thing myself.

I recommend it for your next party or tea party.

For more recipes, go to Scottish Oatcakes

For more recipes from Mysterious Eats, go to Carrot Oatmeal Muffins

For more Bridal Showers, go to Jane Austen Bridal Shower

For more Tea Parties, go to My Niece Wanted a Tea Party