To All the Ghouls I’ve Loved Before: The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo (1985)

It’s time for our annual Vincent Price pick!

I love Vincent Price-that voice, he’s amazing.

And today is the 26th anniversary of his death-I didn’t plan to post this day it just happened.

So this year I was having a hard time trying to pick a film or TV show he was in. Which ones could I get my hands on to view, which one to do…

Hmm…

Then my niece and I went to Redbox, I only ever go when I have my niece as she just loves picking out the movies. It reminds me how excited I used to get over Blockbuster and Hollywood Video.

There we were looking through the movies and I saw Scooby-Doo and the Curse of the 13th Ghost.

We checked it out and it got all my nostalgia going! So that answered the question of what to review this year:

To All the Ghouls I’ve Loved Before

So as I have said before I have always been a gigantic Scooby-Doo fan. I used to watch Scooby-Doo Where Are You?13 Ghosts of Scooby-DooA Pup Named Scooby-DooThe New Scooby-Doo Movies (in which Scooby-Doo meets the Harlarm Globetrotters, Cher, Sonny Bono, Batman, Robin, Josie & the Pussycats, etc.), The New Scooby-Doo, What’s New Scooby-Doo.

I had four birthday parties be Scooby-Doo themed, a huge collection of Scooby-Doo toys, from my own mystery machine and multiple Scooby-Doos; to a clock, clothes, books, and almost anything else you can think of.

fangirl casual fan diehard fan consume me love it

So I loved this show because of Scooby-Doo and Vincent Price. Yes, I was watching classics even back as a little kid. There is one thing I always thought was weird, whatever happened to Fred and Velma? How come they didn’t join the group on their adventures? They never said in the show (that I can remember) although they did answer in the new film.

Hmmm…

Anyways, let’s get started with the first episode: To All the Ghouls I’ve Loved Before.

 

So we start the episode off with Vincent Price as Vincent Van Ghoul, mystic, who narrates. 

I remember this used to get me so jazzed on Saturdays! It has been a long time since I’ve watched this though, especially the first episode-I don’t remember what it is about. Oh well, I will be pleasantly surprised!

So we start off in the Himalayan Mountains and enter an old spooky temple that is haunted by two ghosts. One ghost is taking a bath.

Why do ghosts need to take baths?

So these ghosts aren’t scary, but goofy like the ones in Casper or the Boo Brothers. They have awoken because the 13 ghosts in the chest are awake and have been acting up. The two want to sent them free, but can’t open the chests as it can only be done by the living.The chests glows red which means living people are on their way.

We cut away to the flying Mystery Machine where Shaggy and Scooby are flying Daphne and Scrappy-Doo to Hawaii. They end up over the Himalayas as they were looking at the wrong map.

Well Daphne its your own fault, you should have flown.

Seriously

The ghosts perform some magic to release the fuel and stop the plane. Gee, you think you could have come up with a better plan, ghouls? Like you do want them to be living, right?

They grab parachutes and jump out in comedic ways, you know Scooby and Shaggy. Daphne, however, takes over the plane and tries to land it.

Meanwhile, little boy and conman Flim-Flam has found himself in some serious trouble. He’s  been hocking a “miracle” elixir, and the townspeople want him out of town. He’s a bit of a charmer and tries to calm the crowd down but they aren’t buying it. But right when things get really bad the mystery machine comes through and he hitches a ride on Scooby’s parachute.

But they don’t escape for long as an officer arrests them and they go to court.

Like I don’t remember this first episode at all. They get thrown into court and sentenced to leave by sunset or else-plane or no plane.

When they get finished they can’t find their plane anywhere but tracks that lead to a temple. The ghosts have done it to trick them into opening the chest, but one of the ghosts locked it so they can’t get in after all.

These ghosts

Flim-Flam tells them not to worry as he will take them to his mystic friend who can help them. They go to a pub and find Vincent Van Ghoul.

I fangirled as a kid and still do as a adult watching this.

Vincent pulls out his crystal ball and gazes into it. He finds their plane but warns them the plane is in the temple but they must  under no circumstances go in. The temple holds evil, evil which cursed the town Each night when the moon rises the people turn into werewolves.

The townspeople overhear them, and now that they know-they cannot leave.

The townspeople swarm around them and make them sit and watch have them sit and get comfortable watching Ghoulio the Vampire perform. Daphne is drinking beer? Never mind, freshly squeezed wolfsbane. Scrappy says it turns people into werewolves, but it is supposed to protect you.

Daphne shrugs it off but then they hear a werewolf howl. They try to escape, but can’t and see all the townspeople turn into werewolves, including Daphne.

Shaggy and Scooby go running but find themselves in more trouble-you know those twos. They manage to escape with Flim-Flam and Scrappy down a sewer and Flim-Flam sprays Daphne with one of his magical elixirs and she’s back to normal. Shaggy and Daphne hug for a looooong time…are they together? But what about Daphne and Fred!

Anyways, the ghosts have drilled a hole and Daphne wants to go in the temple and get the plane. Scooby and Shaggy are actually the logical ones, not wanting to go in as they were warned, but the werewolves attack and they head into the temple to protect themselves.

Werewolves break in and chase them, but the ghosts help out Shaggy and Scooby to get them to the chests. Meanwhile, Flim-Flam saves people by spraying them with his bottles.

The Burgermeister shares the story of the 13th ghosts and how they caught them and imprisoned them in a chest , but before they sealed it the ghosts cursed them. This having to catch them all kinda makes me think of Danny Phantom.

Anyways, Scooby and Shaggy are trying to find a way out where they run into the two ghosts from earlier who have set up a fake TV show, Let’s Make ‘Em Squeal. Really guys? Really. How can you believe this? I mean this is a whole ‘nother level for you guys.

Although in their defense they did crash land and were just attacked by werewolves-this isn’t the strangest thing they have had to encounter.

They are given the choice of choosing between the plane or a doggy house.-but then they throw in option three-the box with amazing things inside…

Meanwhile, Flim-Flam, Daphne, and Scrappy are trying to find their plane. They are lost, but call on Vincent Van Ghoul who comes and warms them that a pair of ghosts stole it and are trying to trick them into opening the chest.

Of course when we switch to Scooby and Shaggy, they have been convinced to take the box, oh my gosh you guys.

They rest of the gang com running (minus Velma and Fred-ya still not over that), but are too late. They have released the 13 ghosts.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

The ghosts fly off into the world and now Shaggy ad Scooby must hunt after each ghost and trap the in the box. Vincent gives them a crustal ball, and Flim-Flam joins them as they set off around the world!

I have to say I really like Daphne’s outfit in this. It is very April O’Neil, even her haircut.

So what did I think? Well looking back It wasn’t the best of the episodes, it definitely was missing the fun chase scenes and Shaggy and Scooby dressing up in some ridiculous charade. But it was the pilot and does what is supposed to do. It sets up the series and I remember as a kid being hooked. I could not wait to watch it every Saturday and I remember hoping for the next episode waiting to see what happened. Did they catch them all? I have to admit, even as an adult it does hook you. It makes me want to finish watching the rest of the series.

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more Vincent Price, go to Basil of Baker Street: The Great Mouse Detective (1986)

For more Scooby-Doo, go to Nowhere to Hyde: Scooby-Doo Where Are You? (1970)

For more ghosts, go to They Look Like Regular People, So No One Except Us Knows They’re Monsters Inside.: R.I.P.D. (2013)

For more werewolves, go to Women are Like Werewolves

Women are Like Werewolves

So I’m back from my mini vacation with my niece, and my review of the second half of The Buccaneers, isn’t finished. So we will have a brief intermission with this post.

Have you ever noticed that women are like werewolves?

Huh?

I know some of you might find it weird, rude, and possibly offensive for me to suggest it-but hear me out. I have shared this on twitter before-but thought I would go a bit more in-depth on here.

So I’m on my period, and I’ve talked about this before-it sucks.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

And every time it comes the same thought enters my mind. A woman on her period is like a werewolf.

So werewolves-they are affected by a full moon which happens to be about 4-6 days once a month (sometimes two if the days fall a certain way.)

Women have their period once a month (sometimes two if the month falls a certain way or stressful situations arise) and it lasts about 4-7 days. Hmm…

Hmm…

When a werewolf changes he has no control over his emotions or body. They get hairy, larger, claws, etc They can’t fit in their clothes right-it seems like none of the tops ever fit, only the pants-barely.

And for us ladies on our period-acne, aches and pains, I always feel I’m more hairier, and I feel gigantic in everything. I can’t go clothes shopping as I’m bloated and there are certain clothes that do not fit.

Ugh!

And it isn’t a painless process either. Like I hate modern adaptions where the werewolves change and it is no sweat, in legend and original films the transformation was a painful thing.

And same for us ladies. Every time my period comes, constant pain.

No joke this enters m mind every month

Not to mention the anger. Original werewolf tales-angry, furious, and can’t control it.

I Was a Teenage Werewolf

When I’m on my period-watch out!

When one is transformed into a werewolf, they crave strange substances-human blood, flesh, raw meat…

And I don’t know about you, but when I’m on my period I start craving the strangest things. I’m not really a sugar person but on my period all I can think of is candy, cake, pie, brownies, etc. And I’m not a big meat eater-mostly vegetarian, but whenever my period comes-I’m dreaming of steak, burgers, pepperoni and sausage pizza, etc. And I want to eat all the time.

I know some of you think I’m crazy, but I’m not.

I just think us women are like werewolves.

I hope you all enjoyed this silly post, and of you have anything for me to add, leave a comment.

For more werewolf posts, go to Mr. Hyde Versus the Werewolf: Dr. Jekyll Versus the Werewolf (1972)

For more period posts, go to Period Days are Reading Days

 

Horrorfest IV: The Curse

HalloweenStartsNow

Sorry, sorry, for the messy posting and the lack of posting. I have just been so excited for Horrorfest and trying to get everything ready in between work and all my other commitments.

So October is upon us, and while:

 

EverydayHalloweenHorrorfanOctober

October is the penultimate.

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So what do I have planned for you this year? Every year has had something extra planned, beyond just reviewing horror film. In Horrorfest (2012), I reviewed what I call the Big Three in remakes & sequels, Friday the 13th (1980), Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)and Halloween (1978)

I see more sequels and remakes coming in the future.

I see more sequels and remakes coming in the future.

The year after that, Horrorfest II: Return of the Terror and Woe, I posted on the odd days of October. I also reviewed all three Jurassic Park films: Jurassic Park, The Lost Worldand Jurassic Park III

It was great

It was great

Then last year, Horrorfest III: The Revenge was the best Horrorfest I have ever done. I was able to get it halfway completed, before October 1st even came around. Last year I did a Werewolf theme: I started with The Wolf Man (1941) and ended with The Wolfman (2010), and making nine out of the thirty-one reviews Werewolf related.

wolf

And I also reviewed all four films in the Scream series: Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3and Scre4m.

Randy Scream

And I reviewed three Alfred Hitchcock films: Shadow of a Doubt (1943), Under Capricorn (1949)and Dial “M” for Murder (1954). Yes, I had to make up for lost time.

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I even finally got around to reviewing a Vincent Price film, Laura (1944)

Laura Interviewing Shelby

So what do I have planned for this year? Well you’ll just have to wait to find out.

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After all:

BetterWhenScared friday the 13th jason voorhes

So stay tuned for 31 days of terror, woe, mystery, murder, monsters, mad scientists, vampires, witches, robots, stalkers, serial killers, and much, much more!

Happy Halloween jack-o-lantern

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To start Horrorfest from the beginning, go to I Don’t Belong in the World: Carnival of  Souls (1962)

To start Horrorfest II, from the beginning, go to There are Many Strange Creatures in the Amazon: Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

To start Horrorfest III, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart: The Wolf Man (1941)

Werewolves Roam Among Us: Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman (2000)

werewolf

Mr. Talbot is a werewolf! And I’m not going to rest until I prove it.

I love this film! It’s one of my favorite Halloween specials. I used to watch this every year as they would air it on Cartoon Network as part of their Saturday Night Creature Double Features, pairing it up with Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein.

So Alvin is a huge Monster movie fan (just like me :D).

Universal Monster Movie Horror

The film starts off with Alvin having horrible nightmares of meeting the Wolfman.

wolfman-strangle

And wakes up screaming!

Tuesdaythe17th scream ah

Simon and Dave think that Alvin is watching far too many horror films. Hey he is just doing his part in protecting America.

Horror Films

Alvin doesn’t like his new neighbor, Lawrence Talbot and thinks he is a werewolf!

wolfman

And you guys didn’t miss that. It is the same name from the original Wolf Man film.

At school, Theodore isn’t having the best time. A kid Nathan is bullying him. Alvin sticks up for Theodore, but he can’t be with him all the time. The principal calls Dave in talk about this, but neither has the best plan of attack as Theodore won’t report it.

There is a problem with Alvin though. They are worried that he is a little too obsessed with monsters. He is the lead in the play version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. Dave tells Alvin that if he catches him “monster hunting” around his neighbor, he is going to kiss his part good-bye.

Good-bye

Good-bye

Alvin doesn’t stop and loses his part, although he tries to weasel his way out.

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The principal decides to give the lead to Theodore in hopes that it will help boost his self-esteem.

Its-so-crazy it just mightwork

Losing the part doesn’t stop Alvin as he and Simon still search to discover if there are werewolves. And if their neighbor is one.

Wolf Science

Theodore is trying to become a Mr. Hyde that everyone desires, but isn’t doing the best job. He’s just too sweet to play someone so evil.  Eleanor offers to help him out, which is a dream come true for Theodore as he is majorly crushing on her.

That night Theordore walks home and he gets bit by a dog.

attack Wolf Boy Meets World

The next day Theodore is acting strangely…

Mal_huh Whoa Wow

He is more assertive. He gives Eleanor a token of his love. He stands up to Nathan. He even is a perfect Mr. Hyde. But it doesn’t stop there, Theodore ends up becoming meaner and meaner. The Theodore we all knew and loved has almost completely disappeared.

Smooth werewolf

In fact he changes so much that he becomes a werewolf.

“[Theodore has turned into a werewolf but is acting playful]

Simon: He’s like a-a-a puppy.

Alvin: A werewolf puppy.”

alvin-and-the-chipmunks-meet-the-wolfman-291598l

They try to figure out what to do to change him back, but keep coming up with nil. They then decide to contact a psychic gypsy woman for help.

Wolf Man 1941 5

She tells them that Theodore has been changing rapidly and is close to becoming a full on werewolf…FOREVER!!! The only way to stop the full on transformation is to knock him around with a silver cane while he is still in the “puppy stage”.

Alvin breaks into Mr. Talbot’s house to steal his cane to use on Theodore. However, he accidentally bangs into Dave, who takes it away to return it. As Dave goes to returns the cane it becomes night. And not just night, but a night with a full moon. This causes Mr. Talbot to transform.

wolf

Dave runs away and tries to get to the school to warn and protect the kids, but accidentally knocks himself out in the process.

At the school Theodore transforms into a werewolf and starts attacking Eleanor, but sees the necklace that he gave her and remembers his feelings. He flees into the forest and Eleanor follows. So does Mr. Talbot.

dun-dun-duuuun

Theodore attacks Mr. Talbot to protect Eleanor and the two get involved in a werewolf battle. The two biting each actually cures them both and turns them into humans. The crowds believe to be part of the play and applaud. And it’s a wrap! Mr. Talbot becomes the next principal.

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It’s a great film for kids and adults. Not only is it a tasteful remake, but it is also is a hilarious cartoon.

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to Don’t F*** With the Original

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For more on Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman, go to Part X: The Movie List That Would Not Die!

For more on Alvin and the Chipmunks, go to On the 6th,5th,4th,3rd,2nd, & 1st Days ‘Til Christmas

For more on The Wolf Man (1941), go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?

For more on werewolves, go to Monster Movie

For more monster movies, go to You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

For more films based on cartoons, go to Redone Done Right

For more modern remakes, go to Keep Clear Of the Moor. Beware the Moon

Monster Movie: Supernatural (2008)

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“All three monsters – the Dracula, Wolf Man, and the Mummy – all the same critter, which means we need to catch this freak before he “Creature from the Black Lagoon’s” somebody.”

So I know that I have had quite a few TV episodes this October. I know that I went a little overboard, but I wanted to include this anyway. You see I have been wanting to review this episode for a while, but felt that I couldn’t do it until I had reviewed the original The Wolf Man film. As I finally did it this October, it allowed me to finally be able to talk about this episode. This is my all-time favorite episode because it has what I love! Monster Movies!!

Universal Monster Movie Horror

Yep it parodies a series of Classic Horror Films: Dracula (1931)The Mummy (1932), Wolf Man (1941)In fact to further the homage to classic horror film, they even filmed the whole thing in black and white!

love it

So Supernatural is a show that like Grimm, every episode could be done for Horrorfest. The show consists of two hunter brothers, Dean and Sam Winchester, who travel all over the U.S. hunting ghosts, demons, vampires, werewolves, etc. As the seasons progress they get more focused on the battle between angels and demons and stopping the end of the world. It’s an awesome show.

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So this episode takes place in season 4. There have been a lot of angst and sadness

Supernatural

(I won’t go into detail in case you haven’t watched it and want to) and the two brothers have finally been reunited.

COMWSsamanddeanwinchesterKansas

So Dean and San are driving into Pennsylvania on the trail of vampires. Sam is worried about the apocalypse, but Dean convinces him to stop off at an Oktoberfest to relax a bit. They find the Sheriff and introduce themselves as Agent Angus and Agent Young (homage to Angus Young of AC/DC).

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There they are told to speak to the witness Ed Brewer, but the Sheriff doesn’t put much stock in his testimony. They run into the very beautiful waitress Jaimie, who points them toward Ed. There Ed describes the Vampire as being the one out of the 1931 Dracula film.

SayWhat?

Yep, Dean and Sam are shocked, but Ed insists that it is true. The guy looked just like Bela Lugosi’s Dracula.

Dracula

In fact the vampire even uses the Transylvanian accent.

Sam and Dean confer and determine that it is probably a twilight-esque fan and that it isn’t really strange enough for them to stick around.

The night however, things change.

dun-dun-duuuun

A couple is making out in a car when a werewolf comes upon them and attacks.

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The next day, Sam and Dean talk to the girl who survived the attack, Anne-Marie, and discover that the killer looked just like Lon Chaney Jr. in the 1941 Wolf Man film.

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The sheriff also finds wolf hair on the dead body. Sam and Dean are confused as real werewolves don’t have wolf hair.

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That night a guard discovered an Egyptian sarcophagus at the docks. As the guard is about to call to figure out what is going on, the mummy rises from its grave.

Monster Movie Supernatural Mummy

The Mummy attacks the guard, strangling him.

The Winchesters go down to investigate and try and figure out what is going on. There they discover the sarcophagus is actually a movie prop that has been laced with dry ice. Dean leaves Sam to figure out a theory, while he heads down to meet up with Jamie for their date.

Meanwhile, Jamie has been waiting for a while and decides that Dean is most likely standing her up. She starts to walk home, when she runs into Dracula.

Blood!

Blood!

He calls her his reincarted love, and tries to kidnap her, but Jamie sprays him with pepper spray and then runs away…right into Dean. Dean gets a punch into Dracula

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But then finds himself overpowered by the vampire

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The vampire calls him “Harker” (reference to Jonathan Harker the fiancé of Mina [the woman Dracula tries to take]). Dracula tries to bite Dean, but he rips his ear off and a medallion. With his ear gone, Dracula runs away and jumps on his scooter.

Say What

Nope you heard my correctly

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Back at the bar, Dean shows Sam the ear and medallion.

“Dean Winchester: I, uh, pulled it off during the fight. Look at the label on the ribbon.

Sam Winchester: It’s a costume rental.

Dean Winchester: All three monsters – the Dracula, Wolf Man, and the Mummy – all the same critter, which means we need to catch this freak before he “Creature from the Black Lagoon‘s” somebody.”

They determine that they are dealing with a shapeshifter obsessed with classic film. Now if you have been reading my posts posts, such as Phantom of the MegaplexScream, and An American Werewolf in London, you know probably realize another reason why I love this episode. Yep, I can relate to the shapeshifter. I love classic film (especially horror) and I can completely understand him.

screamBilly

Anyways, so Sam, being the scholar, recognizes the name Harker and figures that the shapeshifter is trying to recreate the 1931 film, Dean being Jonathan and Jamie being Mina. I guess that makes Sam, Van Helsing.

Count Dracula: Van Helsing.  [Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula]  Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country.  Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy.  Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived.  Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life.  Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night.  Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart.  Count Dracula: Come here.  [Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing]  Count Dracula: Come here...Your will is strong, Van Helsing.  [Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him]  Count Dracula: More wolfbane?  Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count.  Count Dracula: Indeed.  [Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

The two figure that it must be someone who knows Jamie and is obsessed with her. When they question her, Jamie can’t think of a person who is strange or crazy. Lucy, her best friend and coworker, mentions that Ed recentlly moved to town and is the projectionist for the old theater. Plus he has a crush on Jamie.

suspicious

HIghly suspicious

Sam goes to investigate while Dean stays with Jamie. The two are drinking beer and having a deep conversation, when Lucy interrupts. She is on her way out the door, but Jamie invites her to stay and have a drink with them.

Back on the case, Sam has gone into the old theater and discovers Ed playing the pipe organ.

phantom-of-the-opera

He pulls on Ed’s ear, but find it fast in place.

“Sam Winchester: [tries to tear out Ed’s ear] It’s supposed to come off.

Ed Brewer: No, it’s not!”

OMG

This means Ed is not the shapeshifter!!! But if he isn’t…who is?

Teenage_werewolf

Back at the bar, Dean and Jaimie are getting groggy and falling asleep. Dean punches Lucy in the face, and discovers that Lucy is not “Lucy” but the shapeshifter.

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And she has drugged the two of them. Dean tries to hold on, but faints.

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Dean wakes up and finds himself in lederhosen.

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

In a Frankenstein-esque dungeon.

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Now I really like what Dracula has to say here. It’s so poetic. “Life is small, meager, messy. The movies are grand, simple, elegant. I have chosen elegance.”, it’s very Movie Mason from The Phantom of the Megaplex.

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Anyways, Dracula is about to electrocute Dean and have a “movie” where the monster wins, when something interrupts him. The doorbell rings and the pizza delivery guy is there.

Pizza Delivery Guy: Uh, pizza delivery?

Dracula: Ah, you have brought a repast. Excellent. Continue to be of such service, and your life will be spared.

Pizza Delivery Guy: Uh-huh. That’ll be $15.50.

Dracula: Tell me…

Pizza Delivery Guy: Yeah?

Dracula: Is there garlic on this pizza?

Pizza Delivery Guy: I don’t know. Did you order garlic?

Dracula: No!

Pizza Delivery Guy: Then no. Look, mister, I’ve got four other deliveries to make. You want to just pay me the money so I can go?

Dracula: Of course. Yes. But I have a coupon.

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And why not take a pizza break? Pizza is awesome.

I love Pizza

I love Pizza

So now that Dracula has food for later, he prepares to finish Harker/Dean, but is interrupted by Jamie waking up.

Meanwhile back at the bar, Sam has figured out that with Jamie and Dean missing it must be Lucy. He sets out for her house.

Back in the dungeon, Dracula wants Jamie to dress in the gown he bought her and eat pizza with him.

Just like the Mummy, trying to dress his "reincarnated bride" in his old love's clothes.

Just like the Mummy, trying to dress his “reincarnated bride” in his old love’s clothes.

Jamie is really freaked out as she has been drugged, was betryed by her best friend (as Dracula was pretending to be “Lucy”) and is stuck with a killer. Dracula tries to apologize and tells Jamie his backstory. He was called a monster from the beginning of his life and beat by his father. He found solace in monster movies, and achieves strength and confidence when taking their form.

This part actually reminded me a lot of The Phantom of the Opera. Here is a man who is disfigured and mistreated because of it. He knows only how to hate as he has been so mistreated. It makes you wonder how things might have been different if one person had loved him.

one word kind change day

While Dracula is reminiscing, unbeknownst to him Sam has slipped into the house and is skulking around the dungeon. Dracula knocks Jamie out and turns his attention to Sam and the freed Dean. They start fighting, with Sam being thrown through a fake door. Dean and Dracula are struggling to get the gun with silver bullets along with trying to knock the other out. Dean tries a groin attack and move for the gun, but Dracula throws him back. Before he can do anything else, Jamie, who has just woken up, grabs the gun and shoots him.

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With Dracula conceding, that maybe this is how the “film” should end.

The next day Dean says good-bye to Jamie. The two brothers agree that’s it was nice doing some old-fashioned monster hunting, rather than the angels & demons stuff. They discuss what film they would want to live in as the episode ends.

TheEnd_Title_2

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to Murder is My Favorite Crime

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For more on Supernatural, go to Keep Clear of the Moor. Beware the Moon

For more on Dean Winchester, go to I’m Batman!

For more on Sam Winchester, go to You Can’t Have Just One!

For more horror parody, go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?

For more on Dracula, go to I Bid You Welcome

For more on The Mummy, go to Part X: The Movie List That Would Not Die

For more on The Wolf Man, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts that Lie Hidden Within

For more monster movies, go to What Is This Thing?

For more on Phantom of the Megaplex, go to Friday Night Fun

For more on recreating a scene, go to Carried Away

For more on pizza, go to Food, Food, Food

Every Time I Bring a Girl Over, You Try to Eat Her!: Vampires Suck (2010)

Vampires Suck

Every time I bring a girl over, you try to eat her! It’s not fair!

So I LOVED this movie! I found it so freakin’ hilarious, OMG.

felix_the_cat_laughing

So I am not a fan of the Twilight series, never read them and never seen them (except for the one time my friend and I watched part of it with the audio off and made the characters say funny things and Everything Wrong With Twilight). All my friends were into it, and at my school people would get into literal fights over who was better Jacob or Edward. It was like Raider and 49er fans fighting, but much worse. I was never team Edward or Jacob but:

twilight

After all:

Pale

I had friends who were hardcore fans (Twihards as I called them) and told me everything, but I couldn’t find it that interesting. I thought it was just a rehash of old things:

romeo and juliet

And I’m a purist. My vampires need to be like Dracula and my werewolves like The Wolf Man.

thats-how-its-done

Anyways, so this movie came out in 2010 and when I saw the trailer, I was intrigued as it looked really funny.

And it was! The jokes were spot on, not only spoofing the film but the pop culture of the day.

From Edward’s strange, crazy ways.

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To Jacob’s constant stripping and showing his body.

To the fights girls would have over the guys.

Vampires Suck Shovel Fight

It even has a cameo of Buffy the vampire slayer.

vampires-suck-Buffy the VS

It was so great I wanted to watch it again. You should definitely check it out.

2010VampiresSuck!

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to But the Book, It Will Never Close…

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For more on Vampires, go to When the Itsy-Bitsy Spider is No Longer Itsy-Bitsy

For more on werewolves, go to Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf?

For more parodies, go to All I Know About Trilogies is That in the Third One, All Bets are Off

For more modern teenage remakes, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts that Lie Hidden Within

For more films based on a book, go to I Was Here for a Moment. And Then I Was Gone

For more on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, go to You Can’t Have Just One!

For more on Everything Wrong With, go to Let Them Fight

For more fangirl posts, go to How I Differ From Others

Keep Clear Of the Moor. Beware the Moon: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

an-american-werewolf-in-london-19811Keep clear of the moor. Beware the moon, lads.

This movie has been referenced in so many books and films that I had been dying to watch it. I wanted to see why everyone loved. So this past Friday the 13th, I decided to watch it and The Wolf Man (1941) as it was a full moon. But when I saw it, I found it was HORRIBLE!!!! One of the worst films ever!! On par with Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and The Beast of Yucca Flats

Mistake Great Gatsby

The main character, David, is so bland and hardly developed that I don’t even care if he becomes a werewolf or not. He also acts crazy all the freakin’ time. In The Wolf Man (1941), Larry thinks he’s crazy, realizes that he’s not, and then tries to stop turning into a werewolf and hurting others. David on the other hand seems to revel in the crazy, and doesn’t seem sad at all that his friend is dead as he is enjoying Nurse Price, etc. While The Wolf Man  is sad and tragic, this was just boring and…more boring.

Jerk

It took over an hour to see David turn! Over an hour! This movie is an hour and a half and I don’t want to have to sit through an hour of crazy David and naked David and have no werewolf!

I don't think so

This is like Godzilla (2014)!!!! If I’m watching a monster movie, I want to see that monster mentioned in the title! The Wolf Man (1941), has a wolf right away, as Bela is a werewolf, and then we see Larry turn at the half hour mark. That’s how its done people!!

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

They really should have changed the title of the film to David Naughton, My Naked Body, as that is really what this film is about. We see more nudity and sex than we do a werewolf, which is super disappointing.

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I mean seriously, what were you thinking?

I felt like Dracula in Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf.

scooby-doo-and-the-reluctant-werewolf-

I started a M&M eating game. For every time David was naked I would eat an M&M. My stomach started hurting barely in.

shadowofadoubt unhappy

 I have to admit I am getting ahead of myself. Lets go back to the beginning and go through some of the issues.

DeanSupernaturalLetsGetStarted

So for those of you who haven’t seen the film, Jack and David are Americans backpacking through Europe after they have just graduated from college. They are lost in the moors and come upon a pub called the Slaughtered Lamb.

I think the name is a message to steer away.

I think the name is a message to steer away.

[Side Note: the pub is based on a real one that was destroyed years ago. After the film, they opened one up in New York.]

So as the two are walking towards the pub, David tells Jack knock-knock jokes. And I kid you not, he doesn’t get them.

Tom-Hanks-Saying-Really

Like who doesn’t understand knock-knock jokes? I mean three-year old children understand that concept. How did Jack even graduate? And more importantly, why did they even include that in the film?

MeanGirls I know right!

And why would you ever enter a place called the Slaughtered Lamb? It just doesn’t sound like there will be anything good there. I’m with Jack on that one, you should’ve passed on it David.

Bad things happen when you don't listen

Bad things happen when you don’t listen

So they go into the Slaughtered Lamb, Jack sees a pentagram and candles on the wall and he begins telling David all kinds of trivia from The Wolf Man (1941).

AmericanWerewolfinLondon

The two end up getting kicked out of the pub and start wandering the moor, when a werewolf attacks.

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It attacks Jack and David takes off running.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-it

Yep he takes off. You horrible man, you let your friend die! How could you??!! He was trying to help you and when the wolf attacks him you just RUN OFF???!!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

So David ends up in the hospital with a “wolf” bite while Jack ends up in the morgue.

Your fault!

Your fault!

And that’s when Nurse Price enters the picture.

Ugh

Ugh. Hate her.

Nurse Price is crazy and a skank. Now I don’t like to call women that, but she plays with David’s junk to get him to eat! I’m serious!!!

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

She must have a thing for sick/crazy guys.

Plus she is just annoying in how she acts. Nurse Price calls Mark Twain Samuel Clemens when she is reading A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court I know that is his real name, but who actually goes around using it? NOBODY! Everyone calls him Mark Twain. And I know the director is trying to draw parallels between the stories, but no movie, no.

No thank you

The only similarity between the two is an American in Britain. NOTHING ELSE!

David doesn’t have the most fun in the hospital. He sees dead Jack and actually talk to him (weird scene). Jack tells David he is going to be a werewolf and he believes it. David is eventually allowed to check out as his bite is not serious. Nurse Price invites David back to her place and tells him she wants to be with him. She says “I don’t really bring strange men home…I’ve only been with seven men, of which three were one-night stands”

Girl Please

Sounds like you do bring strange men home since that is about half the men you’ve slept with, and David will make that four out of eight.

ew! Gross Yuck

All I can think is how many were people presumed to be crazy (as at this point she thinks David is just imbalanced as he says he is a werewolf)? I mean she’s like Sam Winchester over here. (She actually is as he slept with a werewolf. And a demon. Dated another demon, and was involved with some other monsters.)

Sam Winchester Werewolf

So as Nurse Price and David head back to her flat (apartment) they comment on how high the price of all food is. I’m like,

Girl Please

You paid like £5 for a bag of groceries. I wish food was that cheap.

Why? Why!

Why? Why!

Anyways so we have a second visit from Jack and to be honest, this film is more about the Leprechaun (1993)/Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time Zombie Ghost Jack, than it is about a werewolf.

scooby-doo-and-the-reluctant-werewolf-

The next day after Jack and Nurse Price had sex, she leaves for work and twin girls with a dog come upon Jack. The girls’ dog barks at him and they both laugh like crazy and walk off.

What the

What? I know they are trying to reference The Wolf Man (1941) how the dog can sense he is a wolf (Gwen’s fiance Frank, his dog does this). But what was up with the twin girls? Did they think after The Shinning (1980) that the only way to do a creepy film was to have weird twin girls?

Mal_huh

And are they honestly going to included every song that uses the word moon? We’ve already had Blue Moon and Bad Moon Rising, I am now half-expecting Moon River to be played next.

Ugh great gatsby

And we get the cliche #56,  “person pretends in the mirror to be the monster they later turn into”.

Ugh

Ugh

So we switch to the hospital and get a second round of this bratty little boy who says no all the time (he was in the first hospital scene). He’s even more annoying the second time around that I am actually hoping he does get eaten.

Die, die, die!

Die, die, die!

The transformation scene was okay.

an-american-werewolf-in-london-banner-poster

So the next day David wakes up in the zoo naked with the wolves. Now that doesn’t make much sense to me, if you are a wild werewolf, why would you go put yourself in a cage? You’re free! It would make way more sense if he woke up in the park instead.

Darcy P&P OMG Can't Even

So David tries to get arrested, “to protect others”, and that was kind of funny because the bobby (cop) won’t consider it until he starts insulting the Queen, Winston Churchill, and Shakespeare. But he is so rude to nurse Price. Telling her to shut up and leave him alone:

jerk_alert32

He then tells Nurse Price he loves her, and she’s like woah Ted Moseby, slow down. I Love You? Really after one night? Woah, you don’t even know her. Besides she’s crazy. You don’t want to date crazy.

David then runs off to call his family and tell them he cares about them before he kills himself, but can only reach his 10-year old sister as everyone else is out. All I can think is, 1) David was attacked by a werewolf  or “wolf” as the doctors are calling it and 2) his best friend has been killed! How are his parents not in London right now trying to see if he’s okay? Their son could have been killed!!

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

So David tries to kill himself but can’t go through with it. Now all I can think is, haven’t you seen The Wolf Man (1941), I mean I assume you did as you were telling the nurse about it. Well don’t you remember, a werewolf can only be killed by silver? Slitting your wrists doesn’t work.

ouch Hermione

So stupid

So after that David sees Jack outside a porno film movie house and goes in after him. All I can think is, you’re worried about killing people and you go see a porno? Really?

sort priorities Harry Potter

And don’t give me, that’s where zombie Jack was at and he needed to speak to him. Before that we saw that Jack came to David wherever he went (hospital, Nurse Price’s flat, etc); he could find himself a quiet place and Jack would totally follow him there.

Girl Please

Plus what us up with the film they are watching? A guy and girl are getting it on and a second guy comes marching in the room yelling “You promised you wouldn’t do this again!” The first guy says “No, I didn’t.” The second guy answers, “I’m talking to her.” The women replies, “I don’t know you.” The second guy gets really embarrassed, says “Oh”, and leaves.

SayWhat?

What the heck was the point of that? And immediately after, Jack says “great movie”. I know you are super horny Jack, but no, no, no, no ,no, no, no, no. That is horrible, horrible, horrible.

facepalm Star trek

After this I couldn’t stomach anymore. It wasn’t scary. There was barely an werewolf. It was pretty much a huge mess. I’ll take The Wolf Man (1941) any day.

No no no no no

No no no no no

And here I will leave with more werewolf than we see in the film.

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To start Horrorfest III from the beginning, go to Even a Man Pure of Heart

For the previous post, go to You Will Die in Seven Days

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For more on An American Werewolf in London, go to Pink Elephants

For more on werewolves, go to Unleash the Savage Instincts That Lie Within

For more on Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf, go to A Monster Race

For more modern remakes, go to Let Them Fight

For more on monsters, go to What Is This Thing?

For more on Supernatural, go to Happily Ever Aftermath

For more on How I Met Your Mother, go to I’ll Be Back