I Wrote A Letter (I Actually Wrote Four)

Have you ever seen the film White Chicks? It is a 2000’s film that stars the Wayan Brothers as FBI agents who are one screw up away from being fired. When they mess up their very simple assignment to watch two heiress and transport them to the Hamptons, they end up having to go undercover as the Wilson Sisters in order to keep themselves from being fired and foil a kidnapping plot. It is hilarious as most of the people can’t tell the agents in their makeup from the “real” sisters, even though you as they viewer can clearly tell they look nothing like the Wilson sisters. One of my favorite parts of the film is when they are trying to keep the other FBI agents from figuring out their undercover situation and stage a big scene about how they “are going to write a letter”.

FBI Agent Kevin Copeland as Brittany Wilson: I wanna speak to your supervisor! Better yet, I’m gonna write a letter!

FBI Agent Marcus Copeland as Tiffany Wilson: [to FBI Agent Harper] You are in *big* trouble!

FBI Agent Kevin Copeland as Brittany Wilson: [Agitated, “Brittany” grabs a pen and a sheet of paper and starts writing] Dear… Mr… Royal… Hampton. I… am… a… *white*… woman… in… America.

Whenever my family and friends has something upset us that we have no control over (for example the terrible Netflix Persuasion film) or when we wish something would happen, we always claim we are going to “write a letter”.

For the past few years on Instagram I have asked questions in my stories and posted the results along with my own thoughts and opinions thrown in. One thing I ask every year is “If You Could Cast Any Actor (Alive or Dead) as Mr. Darcy, Who Would It Be?”

Since I started in 2019, the most requested men to play Mr. Darcy are Aidan Turner, Henry Cavill, Ben Barnes, and Richard Armitage, and Ben Barnes. Every year I say I am “going to write a letter” to them but never actually do.

However, I finally decided to “write a letter”, four actually, and hope for the best that they read it and respond. You might think that sounds silly, but one thing Austen taught me was to never underestimate the power of a well written letter.

I also decided to use the Magazine Cover cards I was given to by Christina Boyd as I have high hopes that their assistants or agents or whoever reads their mail will actually pass them along as they are so striking.

#1) Aiden Turner c/o CAM 55-59 Shaftesbury Ave, London W1D 6LD, United Kingdom

The first person I wrote to was Aidan Turner. In my letter I wrote that I was a fan of his work and that in my opinion he was the only good thing in The Mortal Instruments. After I gusher a bit I went on to let him know about my Blogiversary queries and that he was one of the most requested actors to play Mr. Darcy. I then pleaded with him to consider being in any future Austen adaptions; or alternatively, I also suggested him dressing up in a Regency-esque outfit and reenacting a scene from Pride and Prejudice for his fans. I don’t know if he will or not but I’ll be keeping an eye out.

For more on Aiden Turner, go to You’re Mother is a Shadowhunter…Like You: The Mortal Instruments, City of Bones (2013)

#2) Henry Cavill c/o CAA 2000 Avenue of the Stars Los Angeles, CA 90067

The next letter I wrote was to Henry Cavill. I’m not really a fan of his as I haven’t actually seen that much of his work. I liked him in Stardust but besides that I’ve only seen him in the Snyder Cut of Justice League, and I think he played the son in the Count of Monte Cristo? So skipped over the usual fawning and went right to the point, stressing how the fans would love to see him in an Austen adaption, especially as Mr. Darcy. And if he wasn’t really interested in either, perhaps he would be willing to do an Austen themed tiktok or Instagram reel? Out of all these men I have the highest hopes for him as he is one who understands the love a fan has for a certain work. But, I guess we will just wait and see.

#3) Ben Barnes c/oWilliam Morris Endeavor Entertainment 9601 Wilshire Blvd. 3rd Floor Beverly Hills, CA 90210

The next person on my list was Ben Barnes, and unlike the other actors, I have only seen Ben Barnes in two films and both were absolutely terrible. The films? Prince Caspian and Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Now I know a lot of people like this Disney series and I will concede there are quite a few things they did very well, but the character of Prince Caspian was 100% not one of them and the whole plot line of Voyage was not only illogical but just plain horrible. What were they thinking?

As I’m not a fan of his I just went right into letting him know about how he is one of the highest requested actors to be in an Austen production, most commonly suggested to play Mr. Darcy. Like the others, I asked if he would consider any upcoming Jane Austen productions; or alternatively considering dress up in a Regency type outfit and reenact a part of Pride and Prejudice.

#4) Richard Armitage c/o United Artists 12-26 Lexington St, London W1F 0LE, United Kingdom

And lastly, we have Richard Armitage. As I am a fan of his I did a bit of fangirling (just a little) before I laid out the same request as the others. Please consider any upcoming Jane Austen productions; or alternatively consider dressing up in a Regency type outfit and reenact a part of Pride and Prejudice.

For more on Richard Armitage, go to I Want to Understand You: North & South (2004)

I’m hoping at least one will respond to my letters. I’m not expected an actual return letter (although I did tell all of them would definitely be appreciated); I know this is real life not a wattpad/webtoon story; but I’m hoping that I’ll receive a response in social media or possibly an upcoming Jane Austen production. (Fingers crossed!)

But I guess we will just have to wait and see.

If I do receive anything I will be sure to share it with you all. And again, thank you everyone for celebrating with me this past month, and thank you all who have been a part of these past 10 years.

For more letter writing, go to I Wrote Mr. Darcy a Letter

I’ll Be Watching You: Austentatious (2015)

So this title of course references The Police song, even though it has nothing to do with the episodes plot.

Sorry, anytime I think of Sting and The Police I think of that scene from Footloose. But yes, the song:

I’d rather not be watching this. I have already watched two episodes and have not been impressed. I can see why it was canceled after one season.

Ouch

I know harsh, but I speak the truth. Basically, the story is that Marianne and Elinor Dashwood live together and are friends with Elizabeth Bennet, Emma Woodhouse, and Grant/George Knightley. All live in modern times and are an accountant, jobless, real estate agent, divorce lawyer (!!! I know Emma, really?), and I don’t know what “Grant” does.

So we start off this episode with Marianne trying to make eggs and falls of course because she is a dumb blonde. Why do they make her that way?

Elizabeth is over and complains about the awful Darcy, who she has been emailing and she can’t stand him.

I am with her, they make him too jerky-seriously I hate him.

I know, I know

This series killed me okay. It made me utter what never should be uttered and then I died. It is a ghost of my former self that is writing this.

An angry ghost

And I’m sure if Jane was around, she sure wouldn’t appreciate what you writers did!

Elizabeth gets a call about a house and it is Collins looking for a realtor. Remember in the last episode he had his date where he tried to pump Elinor.

See Hook agrees with me.

Elinor, the accountant, has to deal with a tough client, who’s angry that she has to pay so much. I actually like this part of the episode because that’s what I have to deal with sometimes at work. It feels very real and it isn’t silly or stupid like a lot of other parts of these shows.

What I wish I could say to some people.

Poor Elinor, that sucks.

Yes, Elinor I know exactly how you feel.

She’s complaining to Knightley, I find that interesting. I like that he has taken that friendship role with all the girls. Plus in Sense and Sensibility, Elinor and Colonel Brandon talk quite a bit (as everyone feels the need to confide in her) so it kind of meshes that with this. Good job TV show, there are two things you are doing right.

But will it last?

For the thousandth time

Elinor has a promotion, woohoo!

Meanwhile, Marianne is shopping online and Emma hires her as the receptionist at her firm. Marianne is thrilled to be around hot lawyers, but down about that she has to be there at 8.

So Elinor’s promotion, she doesn’t get much time to settle in. Not only does she have to start her new job that afternoon, the IRS is coming and she has to deal with them. I know the show is trying to add drama, but I really don’t think that is how it works. I don’t think they would just “throw you in”. And certainly not throw you to the IRS, I mean I think she could defintely complain about that to HR.

An IRS agent is coming and all I can think of it it kinda makes me think of Parks and Rec when Ben comes and Leslie’s all mad about it and then they fall for each other-I just have a feeling Edward Ferrars is to be the IRS agent.

But seriously, you have a giant IRS dilemmea with your firm and you are going to promote someone from lower to take care of it. I mean I get they are probably trying to set up a fall guy, but wouldn’t you want someone who knows to take care of it and make sure all is good?

Woohoo, gold star theIRS agent is Edward Ferrars-did I call it or what?

Edward is like really cool and collected…I never pictured him that way since he was so controlled by his mama.

Majorly

Anyways, the two hit it off and he acts really sweet and gets command of the situation and calm a freaking, babbling Elinor down.

Interesting, a very different portrayal…

Hmmm…I don’t know of I like it.

All the girls meet up and Emma complains about Darcy, And oh my gosh he is so awful. No wonder this TV show was canceled. Like can we just sock him in the face. Please leave.

I know, I know-I said the dreaded words again-but I’m already dead inside from watching this.

Marianne offers to get revenge by mixing up his messages, but then she will get fired, so I’m not sure that is a good revenge idea.

So not fun…

So Elinor and Edward are eating breakfast and hanging out-telling stories and it is pretty cute. I like their interactions.

Good job!

Elizabeth meets with Collins to discuss “houses” but its a total date. Like seriously Lizzie, he has you meet at a restaurant for DINNER!!!

Liz is all business and Collin is all let me try and get info because I want to date you. The vibe is as strong as a 7th grader spraying himself with AXE for the first time-super ob.

Emma is working and Darcy is throwing a full on B.F.

Ugh I hate him. Like I want to STOP WATCHING. If I could I would throw my fist into the TV and punch him in the face. UUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

I hate you, I hate this series, I hate the writers…

Back to Liz and Collins, nothing is getting done and Collins is all yeah she’s into me.

Uh no.

Emma and Darcy fight some more-ugh

Marianne is too dumb to know the difference between a fax machine and a copy machine. Although, I have to admit that happens a lot at the library.

So Liz goes to Elinor’s home and she’s all “glad you are home” So Liz lives with her? I thought in the first episode Elinor was all “it’s my apartment Marianne” and going on and on and on about how it was her home and she wasn’t sure she wants to share with her and she has everything just how she likes it, blah blah blah. But if Liz lives there too, shouldn’t she have a say in her home? And shouldn’t she have spoken to her about Marianne living there? This makes no sense within the context of the first episode, but I guess it explains why all the girls are there all the time. I thought they were just limited on sets, I mean Collin takes Liz out to the same place he took Elinor. Which does work for his character.

Liz complains-and Elinor knows why he is flirting-but doesn’t tell her. Bad friend.

See Hook agrees with me.

Finally she spills and Liz is so angry- and she’s right, she been wasting her time getting her chained yanked while he is just goofing around pretending to buy. I’d be so angry.

Forget you!

Marianne is on the hate Darcy train as well after dealing with him.

You jerk!

Marinne tears a message for him, hmm…

Darcy is all blah, blah Emma I’m an angry stupid prick and I want you to do all this work even though I’ve complained that this is my area of expertise and I don’y want you touching it. I can’t find a file and its all your fault ad I hate how they make him.

I hate this

Do I have to finish this series, because I don’t want to. Why did they make Darcy so awful, he was not that awful in he book.

Ugh!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Or TV show in this case.

Emma is angry and justifiably. She should report him to HR. He should not treat her that way.

Liz is walking and Collin surprises her. They meet to discuss her dropping him. And he’s infuriating . Liz is pretty nice, I think I would have been more upset.

Marianne and Emma are walking and eating. Marianne left Darcy fake messages to the movie theater and weather station. She tells him, sorry the numbers came in too fast, maybe try a few combinations. It’s pretty funny, but Emma warns her he could her fired for it.

Marianne does’t care as it is only a temp job. Marianne shares some backstory on her family, and the writer’s got it right, thank goodness. When their dad died, Elinor took over taking care of everything, and making sure things were done-causing her to quickly grow up and adopt the “sensible persona”. And how her mom just let Marianne be herself, she’s always been the one taken care of versus taking care of others like Elinor.

Edward and Elinor grow closer together, and they are very cute. I like it! More Edward please and less Darcy.

I think a thousand fangirls died over that statement.

Darcy starts acting like a human being and actually tells a not really apology which makes me still want to punch him.

WHAT!!!!

They have a loooooooooooooong way to go to fix him.

I am NOT happy!

Collins stops by Elinor to see Liz. He wants her to show him a house as he has settled on an idea of what he wants. Liz gets mad an tells him he needs boundaries. True dat. Good job Liz-stick to your guns.

Collin leaves and calls her on the phone to set an appointment.

Ugh! This dude!

For more Austentatious, go to Big Girls Don’t Cry: Austentatious (2015)

For more Jane Austen film retellings, go to Mrs. Darcy Wants to Know the Truth!: Death Comes to Pemberley, Episode Three (2013)

For more Sense & Sensibility, go to The Smart One and the Pretty One

For more Pride & Prejudice, go to I Met Mr Darcy

For more Emma, go to Austen Avengers Assemble!