First Impressions

PrideandPrejudice

So let’s talk about Mr. Darcy’s first meeting. He made several mistakes.

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Yes, you did. You made a to of blunders that really led to you demise in the public’s eye.

So we see that when Darcy is first introduced as being one hot guy.

“Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mein, and…having ten thousand a year…the ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley, and he was looked at with great admiration…”

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That is until he showed how prideful he is

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“[Mr. Darcy] was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity; for he was discovered to be proud; to be above his company, and above being pleased; and not all his large estate in Derbyshire could save him…”

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1. Not Dancing

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Now I am not big on dancing, I’m like William H. Macy in Wild Hogs

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But to people in Regency era dancing was an important thing. As a woman to be dancing it spoke of your beauty and possibility of marriage. Therefore Darcy giving a huge slight on the town  and the women as he danced with no one. It was like saying no one there was good enough for him.

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It also told everyone that they had no chance at all at gaining his heart as

“To be found of dancing was a certain step toward falling in love…”

Not good Mr. Darcy, not good at all.

Ouch

Ouch

But in his defense he only knows a few people, and it can be hard to dance in front of strangers, especially if you are dancing with a stranger.

“You know how I detest it [dancing], unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner.”

I know I couldn’t do it. Mr. Bingley tries to introduce him to people, but Darcy just shuts him down. True it sounds rude, but I believe that Darcy is just socially awkward.

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2. Pride

Mr.DarcyMoveAside Pride and prejuice

Yep, Darcy comes off as a regular tool, the way he acts above everybody else.

“he was discovered to be proud; to be above his company, and above being pleased…”

Jerk

He only dances two dances, one with Mrs. Hurst (Bingley’s sister) and Miss Caroline Bingley. He also only talked to the people within his party, declining to be introduced to anyone else.

How rude

“His character was decided. He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world, and everybody hoped he would never come there again.”

Good riddance

Good riddance

However, I’m going to play devil’s advocate here. It can be hard when you are in a new area. Sometimes you can come off being ruder than you mean to be.

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I used to be like that a lot. People would tell me they thought I was a snob before, and glad that they were mistaken. I never realized that my self-consciousness was giving off that kind of vibe. In fact I feel bad for Darcy, as for him it was the same way. He never realizes the way he may portray himself or the attitude he gives off until Elizabeth tells him.

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3. Slighting Elizabeth

Ooooh Darcy, this is where you really dig yourself into a hole.

“She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.”

Ouch

Ouch

Sorry Darcy, I have nothing to say to defend you. You said such a cruel thing and she tells her friend and family. Her mother spreads the story around and Darcy, you’re coffin is sealed.

Good riddance

Good riddance

 

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So this clearly shows that we need to watch our actions and how we present ourselves to people. First impressions last a long time and take forever to overcome.

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Also that even though Darcy is hot and rich, its personality that will always win over as everyone was willing to forget trying to win his heart, once they felt his personality was a huge zero.

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Yep personality will always win out:

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And it’s a good thing for us that Darcy has a beautiful soul to go with his body. It just takes a bit of time for us and Elizabeth to see it.

Laurence Olivier Mr. Darcy

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For more on Mr. Darcy, go to It’s All Jane Austen’s Fault

For more on Pride and Prejudice, go to Just Can’t Get a Break

For more on Elizabeth Bennet, go to How to Catch a Man

For more on first impressions, go to Happy Birthday Pride & Prejudice

For more on Regency Era, go to Definitely Not Mr. Darcy

For more on tall, dark, and handsome men; go to Gone Forever

For more on Maya Angelou, go to A Woman’s Heart

For more of my favorite quotes, go to Food, Food, Food!

For more on Wild Hogs, go to Part VIII: The Little Movie Lines List

For more on George of the Jungle, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines’ List

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Part VIII:The Little Movie Line List

MovieQuotes

Yep. it’s time for another My Favorite Movie Lines Lists! Enjoy!

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701)”King Henry VIII: Mistress Anne, will you teach the king of England how they dance in the French court?
Anne: There is nothing that France can teach England, your majesty.
King Henry VIII: Well said. Well said.”–Anne of the Thousand Days (1969)

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702)”Landon: I’m sorry she never got her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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703)”Flik: Here, pretend – pretend that that’s a seed.

Dot: It’s a rock.

Flik: Oh, I know it’s a rock, I know. But let’s just pretend for a minute that it’s a seed, alright? We’ll just use our imaginations. Now, now do you see our tree? Everything that made that giant tree is already contained inside this tiny little seed. All it needs is some time, a little bit of sunshine and rain, and voilá!

Dot: This rock will be a tree?

Flik: Seed to tree. You’ve gotta work with me, here. Alright? Okay. Now, y-you might not feel like you can do much now, but that’s just because, well, you’re not a tree yet. You just have to give yourself some time. You’re still a seed.

Dot: But it’s a rock.

Flik: [shouting] I know it’s a rock! Don’t you think I know a rock when I see a rock? I’ve spent a lot of time around rocks!

Dot: You’re weird, but I like you.”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

 

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704)”Princess Fiona: And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what’s he like?
Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in “short” supply.
Donkey: Yeah! Though there are those who think “little” of him!–Shrek (2001)

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705)”Jack: You’re gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000! Plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar! And if you wanna see your friend alive again, do not call the cops! If you’re not here in half an hour to settle this, I’m gonna take the fine out on your friend’s legs! I’m gonna break ’em with this tire iron!
Dudley Frank: Don’t bring the money! I’m a computer programmer! I don’t need my legs!
Jack: Fine! I’ll break his hands!
Dudley Frank: Oh, d*** it. Bring the money!”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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706)”Scott: You’re perfect Kate… and so far not flammable.”–John Tucker Must Die (2006)

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707)”Hopper: First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault.”– A Bug’s Life (1998)

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708)”Anne: We had the situation under control.

Teresa: Yeah. We were about to go all Buffy on their gringo a****.”–Man of the House (2005)

 

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709)”Landon: Listen, Jamie, I was hoping we could run lines together?
Jamie: Okay, but just not so anybody knows, right?
Landon: Well I just figured we could surprise everyone with how good I get.
Jamie: Like we could be secret friends.
Landon: Exactly, exactly it’s like you’re reading my mind.
Jamie: Great umm… maybe you could read mine.
[she gives him a cold glare and turns away]”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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710)”Terry: You know, sometimes I just wish I was a guy.

Buddy: No, you don’t! The male body needs sex at all times! It’s a living hell!”–Just One of the Guys (1985)

 

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711)”Queen Gorgo: There’s only one woman’s words that should affect the mood of my husband. Those are mine.” –300 (2006)

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712)”Lord Farquaad: Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”–Shrek (2001)

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713)”Anne: No, he means the other Texas Rangers, you know, like The Lone Ranger.

Heather: He had that cool Indian friend, what was his name?

Teresa: Tonto?

Barb: He was hot! Why don’t guys wear loincloths anymore?”–Man of the House (2005)

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714)”Constance MacKenzie: All men are alike. The approach is different; the result is always the same.”–Peyton Place (1957)

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715)”Lucius: Always giving orders. Just like every other adult.”–Planet of the Apes (1968)

 

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716)”Ernst Robinson: It’s better to use your head than break your back, I always say.”–Swiss Family Robinson (1960)

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717) “Guinevere Pettigrew: Not everything comes along just when we want it. There are times when decisions just have to be made, or you certainly will miss out.”–Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008)

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718)”[teaching Dizzy how to fight]
Clem: First thing you wanna do is gouge the dude’s eyes out.
Luther: Hey, it’s just kids in high school.
Clem: Oh. So you’re gonna want to fight dirty. “–The New Guy (2002)

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719)”Tuck: You fired!

Roll: You fired!

Tuck: You fireeeeeed!”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

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720)”Terry: I’m just so confused.

Buddy: Of course you’re confused. You’re wearing my underwear.”-Just One of the Guys (1985)

 

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721)”Wayne Campbell: [after Ben orders Chinese food while speaking Cantonese] This guy is good.
Benjamin: I picked up a little Cantonese while I was in the Orient. You know, you sound a lot like you’re from Kowloon Bay as opposed to Hong Kong.
Cassandra: I was born in Kowloon Bay!
Benjamin: There you have it!
Wayne Campbell: This guy is really good.”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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722)”Shrek: Example… uh… ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes… No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave ’em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs…
Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.”–Shrek (2001)

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723)”Terry McKay: Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories…”–An Affair to Remember (1957)

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724)”Mrs. Thornton: A person doesn’t always get what she deserves. Remember it. If there’s anything in life you want, go and get it. Don’t wait for anybody to give it to you.”–Peyton Place (1957)

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725)”Guinevere Pettigrew: I am not an expert on love, I am an expert on the lack of love, Delysia, and that is a fate from which I wish more fervently to save you.”–Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008)

 

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726)”Alex Whitman: This morning I couldn’t decide between a hamburger and a tuna melt. But my life made perfect sense. Now I know exactly want I want, but my life makes no sense. Somewhere between tuna melt and your aunt’s tamales, life lost meaning and gained a purpose.
Isabel Fuentes: What are you saying?
Alex Whitman: I am saying- This is morning I was worried I’d met the girl of my dreams at the drycleaners and not recognize her. But you- you are what I never knew I always wanted.”–Fools Rush In (1997)

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727)”Dizzy/Gil: Don’t make me do crazy eyes…”–The New Guy (2002)

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728)”Loretta Lynn: [Loretta catches Doo with another woman] Woman, if you want to keep that arm, you better get it off my husband.

Girl at fairgrounds: Who are you telling what?

Loretta Lynn: I don’t know who you are, but I know what you are.”–Coal Miner’s Daughter (1980)

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729)”Dizzy/Gill:The onIy music worth being called music. I’m talking about the funk.–The New Guy (2002)

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730)”Lonny: Drew… what’s the name of your band, mate?
Drew Boley: Wolfgang Von Colt.
Lonny: …and you’re sticking with that are you?
Drew Boley: Yeah…
Lonny: [to audience] Please welcome to the stage very poorly titled Wolfgang Van Colt!
Drew Boley: …Von Colt.
Lonny: [to Drew] It’s not an improvement.”–Rock of Ages (2012)

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731)”Interviewer: Do you have a criminal record?
Rocky Balboa: Nothin’ worth braggin’ about.”–Rocky II (1979)

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732)”Novalee Nation: You tell them that our lives can change with every breath we take… and tell ’em to hold on like hell to what they’ve got: each other, and a mother who would die for them and almost did… You tell them we’ve all got meanness in us, but we’ve got goodness too. And the only thing worth living for is the good. And that’s why we’ve got to make sure we pass it on.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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733)”Reporter: Where did you get the name, “The Italian Stallion”?
Rocky: Oh I made that up one night while I was eating dinner.”–Rocky (1976)

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734)”Henry Tilney: Now I must give you one smirk, then we can be rational again.”–Northanger Abbey (2007)

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735)”Willy Jack Pickens: Why does anyone lie? Cuz we’re scared? Or crazy? Or jut mean?… There’s a million reasons why a person lies… But sometimes, you tell a lie so big… that it changes your whole life… Lie’s so big… it makes you think…”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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736)”Ben Calder: If I kiss you, do you think they’ll shoot me?
Anna Foster: No, but I will if you don’t.”–Chasing Liberty (2004)

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737)”Donkey: You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!
Shrek: I don’t care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, “Let’s get some parfait,” they say, “H*** no, I don’t like no parfait”? Parfaits are delicious!”–Shrek (2001)

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738)”Grandma Halley: First loves are never really over. Nobody’s perfect, Sweetheart. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.”–How to Deal (2003)

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739)”Henry Tilney: No! The discourtesy was all his. I-I have broken with my father, Catherine, I may never speak to him again.

Catherine Morland: What did he say to you?

Henry Tilney: Let me instead tell you what I said to him. I told him that I felt myself bound to you, by honor, by affection, and by a love so strong that nothing he could do could deter me from…

Catherine Morland: From what?

Henry Tilney: Before I go on, I should tell you there’s a pretty good chance he’ll disinherit me. I fear I may never be a rich man, Catherine.

Catherine Morland: Please, go on with what you were going to say!

Henry Tilney: Will you marry me, Catherine?

Catherine Morland: Yes! Yes I will! Yes!–Northanger Abbey (2007)

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740)”Old Woman: [watching Shrek fight] The chair! Give him the chair!”–Shrek (2001)

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741)”Leland: You don’t care about anything except you. You just want to persuade people that you love ’em so much that they ought to love you back. Only you want love on your own terms. Something to be played your way, according to your rules.”–Citizen Kane (1940)

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742)”J.P. Prewitt: The truth is male models have been assassinating world leaders for over 200 years. Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right? Well, who do you think made the silk stockings and powdered wigs worn by our early leaders?
Derek Zoolander: Mugatu!
J.P. Prewitt: [pauses] Slaves, Derek. So they hired John Wilkes Booth to do Mr. Lincoln in. The first model/actor! Dallas. 1963. John F. Kennedy.
Matilda: Lee Harvey Oswald wasn’t a male model.
J.P. Prewitt: You’re ******* right he wasn’t, but the two lookers who capped Kennedy from the Grassy Knoll sure as s*** were!”–Zoolander (2001)

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743)”Annie Reed: Destiny is something we’ve invented because we can’t stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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744)”Novalee Nation: It’s too late, isn’t it, Forney?

Forney Hull: Too late for what?

Novalee Nation: I lied to you, when you asked me if I loved you, and I said no. Remember?

Forney Hull: Yes.

Novalee Nation: I lied. It wasn’t true, I-I love you. It’s just I lied because I thought you deserved something better.

Forney Hull: Something better than you? Novalee, there isn’t anything better than you.

[they kiss]”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

Where the Heart is

 

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745)”Catherine Morland: When shall we go into society, Mrs Allen? I suppose it is too late this evening?

Mrs. Allen: Bless you, my child, we neither of us have a stitch to wear!

Catherine Morland: I did bring my best frock and my pink muslin is not too bad, I think.

Mrs. Allen: No, no, no, no! Would you have us laughed out of Bath?

Mr. Allen: Resign yourself, Catherine! Shops must be visited! Money must be spent! Do you think you could bear it?

Catherine Morland: Very easily, sir!”–Northanger Abbey (2007)

 

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746)”Jack Colton: What did you do, wake up this morning and say, ‘Today, I’m going to ruin a man’s life’?”–Romancing the Stone (1984)

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747)”Chiron: Percy, take this to defend yourself. It’s a powerful weapon. Guard it well. Only use it in times of severe distress.
Percy Jackson: This is a pen. This is a *pen.*”–Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief (2010)

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748)”Ruth Meyers: My name is Ruth Meyers. Call me Ruth Meyers.”–Where the Heart is (2000)

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749)”[Riding in the curricle, Henry and Catherine see the first view of Northanger Abbey]

Henry Tilney: There.

Catherine Morland: It’s exactly as I imagined. It’s just like what we read about.

Henry Tilney: Are you prepared to encounter all of its horrors?

Catherine Morland: Horrors? Is Northanger haunted, then?

Henry Tilney: That’s just the least of it. Dungeons, and sliding panels; skeletons; strange, unearthly cries in the night that pierce your very soul!

Catherine Morland: [sardonically] Any vampires? Don’t say vampires. I could bear anything, but not vampires.

Henry Tilney: [laughing] Miss Morland, I believe you are teasing me now.”–Northanger Abbey (2007)

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750)”Patricia: I love you more than all the words in all the books in all the world.”–Why Did I Get Married? (2007)

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751)”Tiresias: It is the journey itself that makes up your life.”–The Odyssey (1997)

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752)”Lexie Coop: Americus? What kind of a name is Americus?

Novalee Nation: I wanted her to have a strong name.

Lexie Coop: Well, I guess I shouldn’t talk. I named my kids after snack foods: Brownie, Praline, Cherry and Baby Ruth.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

 

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753)”Sam Baldwin: What is “tiramisu”?
Jay: You’ll find out.
Sam Baldwin: Well, what is it?
Jay: You’ll see!
Sam Baldwin: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I’m not gonna know what it is!”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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754)”Judge Dredd: Judgement time.”–Dredd (2012)

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755)”[Jack takes Joan’s shoes and breaks the heels off so she can hike through the forest]

Joan Wilder: These were Italian.

Jack Colton: Now they’re practical.”–Romancing the Stone (1984)

 

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756)”Thelma ‘Sister’ Husband: Home is where your history begins. Home is where they catch you when you fall.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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757)”Larry Zoolander: I just thank the Lord she didn’t live to see her son as a mermaid.
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man! [high-pitched cough] Mer-man!”–Zoolander (2001)

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758)”Becky: That’s your problem! You don’t want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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759)”Jem Trehearne: That’s women for you – save your life one minute, frightened of you the next. I guess I’m not a very pretty sight at the moment, but I don’t bite, you know.”–Jamaica Inn (1939)

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760)”[after reading Joan’s new novel based on her adventure]

Gloria: Joanie, you are now a WORLD-CLASS hopeless romantic.

Joan Wilder: No, hopeful. Hopeful romantic.”–Romancing the Stone (1984)

 

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761)”Data: Hey McFly, you bojo, those boards don’t work on water!”–Back to the Future Part II (1985)

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762)”Shrek: [Burps] Better out than in, I always say.”–Shrek (2001)

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763)”Jamie: How can you see places like this… and have moments like this and not believe?
Landon: You’re lucky to be so sure.
Jamie: It’s like the wind. I can’t… see it, but I feel it.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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764)”Richard Hannay: I know what it is to feel lonely and helpless and to have the whole world against me, and those are things that no men or women ought to feel.”–The 39 Steps (1935)

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765)”Americus: Forney, if you give a cow chocolate will you get chocolate milk?

Forney Hull: Yeah. And if you spin a cow around real fast you’ll get whipped cream.

Americus: Wow! You know a lot.

Forney Hull: Well, I work in the library.”–Where the Heart Is (2000)

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766)”May: Love is many things. It’s varied. One thing it is not and can never be is unsure.”–Madea’a Family Reunion (2006)

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767)”Prince John: And why should the people listen to you?
Robin Hood: Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.–Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

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768)”Marty McFly: Great Scott!
Doc: I know, this is heavy”–Back to the Future Part III (1990)

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769)”Dizzy/Gil: Did we give up when Pearl Harbor was bombed?
Football player #72: Hey, I thought that movie made money.”–The New Guy (2002)

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770)”Mark Darcy: I don’t think you’re an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother’s pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever’s in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences… But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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771)”Suze: Fluent in Finnish?
Rebecca Bloomwood: Everyone has fudged their resume a little.”–Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

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772)”Donkey: All right, nobody move! I’ve got a dragon and I’m not afraid to use it! I’m a donkey on the edge!”–Shrek (2001)

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773)”[a leaf falls in front of one of the worker ants in the food lineWorker Ant #1: I’m lost! Where’s the line? It just went away. What do I do? What do I do?

Worker Ant #2: Help!

Worker Ant #3: We’ll be stuck here forever!

Mr. Soil: Do not panic, do not panic. We are trained professionals. Now, stay calm. We are going around the leaf.

Worker Ant #1: Around the leaf. I-I-I don’t think we can do that.

Mr. Soil: Oh, nonsense. This is nothing compared to the twig of ’93.”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

 

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774)”Richard Hannay: There are 20 million women in this island and I get to be chained to you.”–The 39 Steps (1935)

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775)”Doc: No one should know too much about their destiny.”–Back to the Future Part II (1989)

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776)”Rebecca Bloomwood: Men like you are the reason I left Finland.”–Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

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777)”Shrek: Fiona? Are you all right?
[Fiona looks at herself, and sees she is still an ogre] Princess Fiona: Yes. But, I don’t understand. I’m supposed to be beautiful.
Shrek: But you are beautiful.”–Shrek (2001)

PrettySoul

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778)”Sam Baldwin: I am NOT going to New York to meet some woman who could be a crazy, sick lunatic! Didn’t you see Fatal Attraction?”–Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

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779)”Dr. Harris: I blew it didn’t I? Why didn’t I concur?”–Catch Me If You Can (2002)

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780)”Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read… if they can’t even fit inside the building?–Zoolander (2001)

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781)”Sherrie Christian: I’m a stripper at the Venus Club.
Drew Boley: I’m in a boy band.
Sherrie Christian: You win.”–Rock of Ages (2012)

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782)”Mable ‘Madea’ Simmons: I told you, you don’t know how to lie. What kinda lawyer don’t know how to lie? Lie and lawyer go together lie-awyer… lie-awyer!”–Madea’s Family Reunion (2006)

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783)”Landon: Jamie has faith in me. She makes me want to be different, better.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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784)”Derek Zoolander: I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.”–Zoolander (2001)

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785)”Batiatus: Good luck, and may fortune smile upon… most of you.”–Spartacus (1960)

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786)”Manny: Utilizing psychic vibrations, I shall select the perfect volunteer.

Molt: Oh, oh, oh, oh! Pick me! Oh, oh! C’mon, I’m asking you with my brain.”–A Bug’s Life (1998)

 

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787)Frank Abagnale Jr.: [whispering to girl] Hey…You should fold it.
Joanna: What?
Frank Abagnale Jr.: That note. It’s a fake, right? You should fold it.
Joanna: It’s… It’s a note from my mom. I have a doctor’s appointment.
Frank Abagnale Jr.: Yeah, but there’s no crease in the paper. When your mom hands you a note to miss school, the first thing you do is, you fold it and you put it in your pocket. I mean, if it’s real, where’s the crease? [Joanna folds note to give it a crease.]–Catch Me if You Can (2002)

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788)”Angela: They’re just so sneaky that you think it was your idea.
Frances: Yeah. You’re sitting back and you’re like: “Oh, yeah. This my idea. But wait a second, why am I alone? Why am I unhappy?”
Angela: “Why have I gained 20 pounds?”
Frances: They Jedi mind-trick you. “–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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789)”J.P. Prewitt: Male models don’t think for themselves.
Derek Zoolander: That’s not true!
J.P. Prewitt: Yes it is, Derek.
Derek Zoolander: [meekly] Okay.”–Zoolander (2001)

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790)”Alex: I dunno… I like you
Gigi: [She’s taken aback] You do?
Alex: Well, yeah, okay, don’t start doodling my name on your binder, okay.”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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791)”Capt. Crewe: Because it’s magic. Magic has to be believed. It’s the only way it’s real.”–A Little Princess (1995)

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792)”African Woman #1: I’m sure he just forgot your hut number!
African Woman #2: Or was eaten by a lion.
African Woman #3: You guys are awesome!”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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793)”Stoney: Bud-dy!”–Encino Man (1992)

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794)”Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You’ve think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an a** of yourself that way but you don’t fall in love that way either. You have not won. You’re alone. I may do a lot of stupid s*** but I’m still a lot closer to love than you are.”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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795)”Mugatu: SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ’s sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They’re the same face! Doesn’t anybody notice this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You’ve done nothing! NOTHIIIING!”–Zoolander (2001)

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796)”Sara Crewe: I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren’t pretty, or smart, or young. They’re still princesses. All of us.”–A Little Princess (1995)

Princess

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797)”Von Luger: Are all American officers so ill-mannered?

Hilts: Yeah, about 99 percent.

Von Luger: Then perhaps while you are with us you will have a chance to learn some. Ten days isolation, Hilts.

Hilts: CAPTAIN Hilts.”–The Great Esacape (1963)

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798)”Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. “–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

film-strip-799)”Bridget: It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.”–Bridget Jones’ Diary (2001)

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600)”Scott Calvin: Hey, Charlie, you know how to call 911?

Charlie: Sure, 9-1-1.”–The Santa Clause (1994)

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For the previous list, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more on A Bug’s Life, go to CANDY TIME!

For more on A Walk to Remember, go to Fulfilling the List

For more on Back to the Future, go to Fashion Show

For more on Bridget Jones’ Diary, go to The Beauty of Darcy

For more on Catch Me If You Can, go to 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Confessions of a Shopaholic, go to Episode V: My Favorite Movie Lines Strike Back

For more on Dredd (2012), go to Na-Na-Na-(Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na)

For more on Fools Rush In, The Swiss Family Robinson, and The Odyssey, go to Snakes on a Post

For more on He’s Just NOT That Into You, go to You’re My Exception

For more on Northanger Abbey, go to The Lining is Silver

For more on Rock of Ages, go to Don’t Stop Believin’

For more on Rocky, go to There’s No One Like Gaston

For more on Shrek, go to Episode IV: A New Favorite Movie Lines List

For more on Sleepless in Seattle, go to Anything Can Happen

For more on The Santa Clause, go to On the 11th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Wayne’s World, go to Episode III: Revenge of the My Favorite Movie Lines List

For more on Where the Heart Is, go to Forney Hull

For more on Wild Hogs, go to Sucky Sequels

For more on Zoolander, go to It’s Back:The Sequel

 

 

Part VII: It Was Said One Night (My Favorite Movie Line List)

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Here we go again! Another list! Hope you all enjoy it!

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601)”Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.
Carnival Barker: Well, you see that little spaceship there? You see how it’s not knocked over? You know what that means, Professor? It means you don’t get the unicorn! Aw, somebody’s got a frowny face! Better luck next time.
Gru: Okay, my turn.[Gru takes out a plasma gun and fires it, destroying the stand and disintegrating the spaceship] Knocked over!”–Despicable Me (2010)

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602)”Graham: Well, I cry all the time.
Amanda: You do not.
Graham: Yeah I do. More than any woman you’ve ever met.
Amanda: You don’t have to be this nice.
Graham: It happens to be the truth.
Amanda: Really?
Graham: A good book, a great film, a birthday card, I weep.
Amanda: Shut up.
Graham: I’m a major weeper.”–The Holiday (2006)

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603)”Wayne Campbell: So, do you come to Milwaukee often?
Alice Cooper: Well, I’m a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were coming here as early as the late 1600s to trade with the Native Americans.
Pete: In fact, isn’t “Milwaukee” an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. Actually, it’s pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for “the good land.”
Wayne Campbell: I was not aware of that.”–Wayne’s World (1992)

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604)”Derek Zoolander: I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.”–Zoolander (2001)

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605)”Marian: There is a price on your head.
Robin Hood: How much?
Marian: One hundred gold pieces.
Robin Hood: Is that all? I shall have to annoy the good Sheriff more. Soon it will be a thousand.
Marian: For a thousand, I would turn you in myself.”––Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

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606)”Sammy: What I’m saying is all I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be all right.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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607)”April: Don’t make me staple your head.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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608)”Cynthia Morales: Love is not always that easy, Anna.
Alan Weiss: Nothing worth getting ever is.”–Chasing Liberty (2004)

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609)”Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty… For tonight, we dine in hell!” –300 (2006)

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610)”Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.”–Zoolander (2001)

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611)”Spartacus: All men lose when they die and all men die. But a slave and a free man lose different things.
Tigranes Levantus: They both lose life.
Spartacus: When a free man dies, he loses the pleasure of life. A slave loses his pain. Death is the only freedom a slave knows. That’s why he’s not afraid of it. That’s why we’ll win.”–Spartacus (1960)

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612)”Airport Guy: Hey, do you like A Flock Of Seagulls?
Robbie: [sees the guys hair is just like the lead singer of A Flock Of Seagulls] I can see YOU do.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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613)”Miles: [holds up a copy of “The Graduate” on DVD] Uh oh… “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio… “? I bet you didn’t know, it was all written for the movie, it was a score, technically.
Dustin Hoffman: I can’t believe this… I can’t go anywhere.”–The Holiday (2006)

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614)Robbie:[Singing] You don’t know how much I need you. While you’re near me, I don’t feel blue. And when we kiss I know you need me to. I can’t believe I found a love that’s so pure and true. But it all was bulls***. It was a ******* joke. And when I think of you, Linda, I hope you f****** choke. I hope you’re glad with what you’ve done to me. I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy. You left me here, all alone, tears running constantly. Oh would somebody kill me please? Somebody kill me please. I’m on my knees, pretty pretty please. Kill me. I want to die. Put a bullet in my heeeeaaaad.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

Wedding Singer Love False Stinks

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615)”Dimitri: If we live through this, remind me to thank you.”–Anastasia (1997)

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616)”Derek Zoolander: What say we settle this on the runway… Han-Solo?
Hansel: Are you challenging me to a walk-off… Boo-Lander?”–Zoolander (2001)

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617)”Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you’re getting fat and maybe it’s been raining too long, you’re just sad that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Paul Varjak: Sure.
Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that’d make me feel like Tiffany’s, then – then I’d buy some furniture and give the cat a name!”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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618)”Stoney: If you’re edged ’cause I’m weazin all your grindage, just chill. ‘Cause if I had the whole brady bunch thing happenin’ at my pad, I’d go grind over there, so dont tax my gig so hard-core cruster.”–Encino Man (1992)

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619)”Will Hayes: I kept the book…
April: Yeah?
Will Hayes: Because it was the only thing that I had left of you.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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620)”Dowager Empress Marie: You’ll stop at nothing, will you?
Dimitri: I’m probably about as stubborn as you are.”–Anastasia (1997)

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621)”Det. Nunzio: [after Scott got arrested] Look, I know you’re Scott Calvin. You know you’re Scott Calvin. So let’s make this simple: I say ‘name’, you say ‘Scott Calvin’. [Gestures Scott to come close] Name?

Scott Calvin: Kris Kringle.

Det. Nunzio: Name?

Scott Calvin: Sinterklaas.

Det. Nunzio: [annoyed] Name!

Scott Calvin: Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel. [Imitates Ed Sullivan] Topo Gigio!”–The Santa Clause (1994)

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622)”Captain of the Guards: Yep, that’s catnip…
Puss-in-Boots: Um… that’s… not mine…”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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623)”Tom Fox: He doesn’t have a passport.
Carl Hanratty: For the last six months, he’s gone to Harvard and Berkeley. I’m betting he can get a passport.”–Catch Me if You Can (2002)

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624)”Bartlett: Virgil, isn’t it?

Hilts: Hilts. Just make it Hilts.”–The Great Escape (1963) 

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625)”Duke: What’re you gonna do, drown me in your tears?
Justin: I did not cry during that game. I had something in my eye.”–She’s the Man (2006)

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626)”Holly Golightly: I’ve got to do something about the way I look. I mean a girl just can’t go to Sing Sing with a green face.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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627)”Roger Thornhill: I’m being followed. Can you do something about that?
Taxi Driver #2: Yes I can.
Roger Thornhill: Do it.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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628)”Shmi Skywalker: You can’t stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting.”–Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

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629)”Will Hayes: Here… I wanna marry you because you’re the first person I wanna look at when I wake up in the morning, and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do. So, will you, um, marry me?
April: Definitely. Maybe.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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630)”Matt Murdock: So does every guy have to go through this just to find out your name?
Elektra: You should try asking for my number.”–Daredevil (2003)

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631)”Bianca: Has the fact that you’re completely psycho managed to escape your attention?”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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632)”Robbie: We’re living in a material world and I am a material girl… or boy.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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633)”Frank Abagnale, Jr.: Brenda, I don’t want to lie to you anymore. All right? I’m not a doctor. I never went to medical school. I’m not a lawyer, or a Harvard graduate, or a Lutheran. Brenda, I ran away from home a year and a half ago when I was 16.
Brenda Strong: Frank? Frank? You’re not a Lutheran?”–Catch Me if You Can (2002)

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634)”Emperor Nero: [During the burning of Rome] What does the mob want?
Petronius: Justice.
Emperor Nero: A mob doesn’t want justice – they want revenge!”–Quo Vadis (1951)

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635)”Marylee Hadley: I’m allergic to politeness.”–Written on the Wind (1956)

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636)”Derek Zoolander: But why male models?
J.P. Prewitt: Are you serious? I just told you that a moment ago.”–Zoolander (2001)

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637)”Luther: If you’re gonna talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk. Otherwise you’ll be lined in chalk. “–The New Guy (2002)

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638)”Richard Dadier: Yeah, I’ve been beaten up, but I’m not beaten. I’m not beaten, and I’m not quittin’.” –Blackboard Jungle (1955)

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639)”Anne Elliot: If I may, so long as the woman you love lives, and lives for you, all the privilege I claim for my own sex, and it is not a very enviable one – you need not covet it, is that of loving longest when all hope is gone.”–Persuasion (1995)

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640)”Anderson: Sir, helmets interfere with my psychic abilities.
Judge Dredd: Think a bullet in the head might interfere with them more.”–Dredd (2012)

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641)”Mr. Knightley: Men of sense, whatever you may say, do not want silly wives!”–Emma (1996)

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642)”Raphael: For what is an artist in this world but a servant, a lackey for the rich and powerful? Before we even begin to work, to feed this craving of ours, we must find a patron, a rich man of affairs, or a merchant, or a prince or… a Pope. We must bow, fawn, kiss hands to be able to do the things we must do or die. [chuckles] We are harlots always peddling beauty at the doorsteps of the mighty.
Michelangelo: If it comes to that, I won’t be an artist.
Raphael: [scoffs] You’ll always be an artist. You have no choice.”–The Agony and the Ecstasy (1965)

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643)”Alex: You’re my exception.”–He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)

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644)”Derek Zoolander: Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They’ll be looking for us at Maury’s right? But they won’t be looking for… not us.”–Zoolander (2001)

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645)”Dean: If there is a higher power, why is it He can’t get you a new sweater?
Jamie: He’s too busy looking for your brain.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

Sarcasm

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646)”Beth: I just need you to stop being nice to me unless you’re gonna marry me.”–He’s Just Not That Into You

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647)”Policeman: How does the girl fit into the picture?

John L. Sullivan: There’s always a girl in the picture. What’s the matter, don’t you go to the movies?”–Sullivan’s Travels (1941)

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648)”Maya Hayes: What’s the boy word for ‘slut’?
Will Hayes: They still haven’t come up with one yet. But I’m sure they’re working on it.”–Definitely, Maybe (2008)

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649)”Rocky Balboa: I just also wanna thank God. Except for my kid bein’ born, this is the greatest night in the history of my life. I just wanna say one thing to my wife who’s home: YO, ADRIAN! I DID IT!”–Rocky II (1979)

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650)”Arthur Abbott: I’ve got something for you.
[picks up a corsage]
Iris: [touched] Oh.
Arthur Abbott: Forgive me. The last time I had a date, this this is what we did.
Iris: It’s beautiful.
[kisses Arthur on the cheek]
Arthur Abbott: If it’s corny, or if it’s going to ruin your outfit, you don’t have to wear it.
Iris: [Iris puts the corsage on her wrist] I like corny. [Takes Arthur’s hands] I’m looking for corny in my life.” –The Holiday (2006)

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651)”Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking “wow, you’re ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.”
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.”–Zoolander (2001)

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652)”Robin Hood: Blinkin, listen to me. They’ve taken the castle!
Blinkin: I thought it felt a bit drafty. Cor, this never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood: He’s dead?
Blinkin: Yes…
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while…[Remembers] Oh, you were away!
Robin Hood: My brothers?
Blinkin: There were all killed by the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog, Pongo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish, Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: [on the verge of tears] My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish. [pause] Oh, it’s good to be home, ain’t it, Master Robin?”–Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

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653)”Sir Thomas More: Why not be a teacher? You’d be a fine teacher; perhaps a great one.
Richard Rich: If I was, who would know it?
Sir Thomas More: You; your pupils; your friends; God. Not a bad public, that.”–A Man for All Seasons (1966)

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654)”Donkey: [singing] The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom…
[trails off]
Shrek: Bet my bottom?”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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655)”Roger Thornhill: Handle with care, fellas. I’m valuable property.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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656)”Arthur Abbott: Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.
Iris: You’re so right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god’s sake! Arthur, I’ve been going to a therapist for three years, and she’s never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.”–The Holiday (2006)

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657)”Mr. Knightley: I can think of nothing less appealing than an evening of watching other people dance. Go on! [throwing stick for dog to fetch]
Emma Woodhouse: Then you shall have to dance yourself.
Mr. Knightley: I have no taste for it. I’d rather fetch that stick.
Emma Woodhouse: I’ll try to remember to bring it to the ball.”–Emma (1996)

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658)”Agnes: I like him. He’s nice.
Edith: He’s scary.
Agnes: Like Santa.”–Despicable Me (2010)

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659)”Robbie: See? Billy Idol gets it!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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660)”Mrs. Robinson: Elaine, it’s too late!
Elaine: Not for me!”–The Graduate (1967)

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661)”Gru: I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet works.”–Despicable Me (2010)

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662)”Father of the Bride: You are the worst wedding singer in the world, buddy!
Robbie: Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire. You understand me.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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663)”Donkey: Oh, Shrek. Don’t worry. Things just seem bad because it’s dark and rainy and Fiona’s father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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664)”Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me.”–The Graduate (1967)

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665)”Man at Prairie Crossing: That’s funny, that plane’s dustin’ crops where there ain’t no crops.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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666)”Margaret Tate: Was that your family?
Andrew Paxton: Yes.
Margaret Tate: Tell you to quit.
Andrew Paxton: Every single day.”–The Proposal (2009)

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667)”Robbie: Hey, psycho – we’re not gonna discuss this, OK, it’s over. Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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668)”Molly Malloy: If you was worth breaking my nails on I’d tear your face wide open.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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669)”Eve Kendall: [Hanging by their fingers from Mount Rushmore] What happened with your first two marriages?
Roger Thornhill: My wives divorced me.
Eve Kendall: Why?
Roger Thornhill: They said I led too dull a life.”–North by Northwest (1959)

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670)”Holly Golightly: A girl can’t read that sort of thing without her lipstick.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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671)”Gidget: Oh boy, the bigger they are the dopier they come.”–Gidget (1959)

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672)”Dudley Frank: The music moves me, but it moves me ugly.”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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673)”Linda: I don’t ever want to marry you.
Robbie: [takes a deep breath, sighs] Gee, you know that information… really would’ve been more useful to me *yesterday.*
Linda: I’ve been talking with my friends the last few days…
Robbie: Oh, boy, here it comes.
Linda: …and I think I’ve figured out what’s been bothering me. I’m not in love with Robbie, now. I’m in love with Robbie, six years ago. Robbie, the lead singer of Final Warning; I used to come watch you when you were in your silk shirt and Spandex pants, and you would sing into the microphone like you were David Lee Roth.
Robbie: I’ve still got the Spandex; I’ll put ’em on right now.
Linda: The point is, I woke up this morning and realized I’m about to get married to a wedding singer? I am never gonna leave Richfield!
Robbie: Why do you need to leave Richfield? We grew up here. All our friends are here; it’s the perfect place to raise a family.
Linda: Oh, yeah – sure! Living in your sister’s basement with five kids while you’re off every weekends doing wedding gigs at a whoppin’ sixty bucks a pop?
Robbie: Once again, things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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674)”Hildy Johnson: Walter, you’re wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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675)”Paul Varjak: [about Holly and Jose] So you’re getting married, then?
Holly Golightly: Well, he hasn’t really asked me, not in so many words.
Paul Varjak: Four you mean?
Holly Golightly: Huh?
Paul Varjak: Well that’s how many it takes: will you marry me?”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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676)”Edith: Are these beds made from bombs?
Gru: Yes, but they are very old and are not likely to explode. But don’t toss and turn.
Edith: Cool!”–Despicable Me (2010)

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677)”Dudley Frank: [after tasting some of Maggi’s chili] Mother of God! I swallowed hot lava!”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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678)”Sammy: If you find somebody you can love, you can’t let that get away.”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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679)”Walter Burns: What do you think I am, a crook?
Hildy Johnson: Yes.”–His Girl Friday (1940)

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680)”Paul Varjak: And I always heard people in New York never get to know their neighbors.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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681)”Maggie: You coming back through?
Dudley Frank: Maybe. A biker never knows. A week, a month.[pauses] Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, give or take six minutes for wind resistance.”–Wild Hogs (2007)

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682)”[Harriet and Mr. Elton are talking as Emma tries to listen from behind a bush]
Rev. Elton: I love… I simply love…
Emma Woodhouse [to herself]: Could this be? The declaration?
Rev. Elton: Celery root.”–Emma (1996)

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683)”Shrek: The kingdom of FAR FAR Away, Donkey? That’s where we’re going! FAR! FAR!… away.”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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684)”Holly Golightly: It should take you exactly four seconds to cross from here to that door. I’ll give you two.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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685)Gidget: Honest to goodness it’s the absolute ultimate!”–Gidget (1959)

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686)”Landon: Uh, yes, sir. I’d like to ask your daughter to dinner on Saturday night.
Reverend Sullivan: That’s not possible.
Landon: Well… with all due respect, sir, I ask you to reconsider.
Reverend Sullivan: With all due respect, Mr. Carter, I made my decision. You can, uh, exit the way you entered.
Landon: Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t treated Jamie the way I should’ve. She deserves more than that. I’m just asking you for the same thing that you teach us every day in Church. And that’s faith.”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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687)”Prince Charming: Princess… Fiona?
Wolf: NO!
Prince Charming: Oh, thank heavens!”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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688)”Paul Varjak: You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.” You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.”-Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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689)”Landon: Do you love me?
[she nods]
Landon: Will you do something for me, then?
Jamie: [smiles] Anything.
Landon: Will you marry me?”–A Walk to Remember (2002)

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690)”Robbie: All right, remember – alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!”–The Wedding Singer (1998)

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691)”Holly Golightly: You could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you. I must say, the mind reels.”–Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

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692)”Dave: [At Home Depot] Please don’t pee in that, it’s not a real toilet.”–Couples Retreat (2009)

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693)”Mr. Knightly: [About Elton] That man is so full of himself I am surprised he can stay on that horse.”–Emma (2009)

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694)”Agnes: Why are you wearing your pajamas?
Vector: They’re not pajamas! It’s my warm-up suit.
Agnes: Why do you need warming up for?
Vector: For doing stuff.
Margo: What kind of stuff?
Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn’t understand.
Agnes: Like sleeping?”–Despicable Me (2010)

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695)”Walter Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anyone cry today?
Kat Stratford: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.”–10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

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696)”Fairy Godmother: Don’t you point those dirty, green sausages at me!”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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697)”Emma Woodhouse: Oh, but if he seems happy, I will know that he’s decided to marry Harriet, and I will not, I know I will not be able to let him tell me. But if he seems sad, I’ll know that John has advised him against it. I love John! Or he may seem sad because he fears telling me he will marry my friend. How can John let him do that? I hate John!”–Emma (1996)

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698)”Joey: When you’re living in my house, you’re a Taliban! Okay? You keep your body a secret. Except you get to, you know, go to school and read books.”–Couples Retreat (2009)

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699)”Edith: When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this’d be more like Annie.”–Despicable Me (2010)

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700)”Receptionist: Look, she’s not seeing any clients today. Okay?
Shrek: That’s okay, buddy. We’re from the union.
Receptionist: The union?
Shrek: We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign.
Receptionist: Oh, of course.
Shrek: Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed?
Receptionist: A little. We don’t even have dental.
Shrek: They don’t even have dental. Okay, we’re gonna have a look around. And buddy, it would be better if the Fairy Godmother doesn’t know about this. Know what I mean? Hmm?”–Shrek 2 (2004)

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For more on the film It Happened One Night, which this title is a parody of, go to I Don’t Want the Money

For more My Favorite Movie Lines List, go to Episode VI: Return of the Movie Lines List

For more on 10 Things I Hate About You, go to You’re Just Too Good To Be True

For more on A Walk To Remember, go to Fulfilling the List

For more on Anastasia, go to I’ll Always Be There When You Need Me

For more on Catch Me If You Can and The Holiday, go to the 25 Films of Christmas

For more on Daredevil, go to Pot o’ Gold

For more on Definitely Maybe and Zoolander, go to It’s BACK

For more on Disney, go to  For She Filled Their Lives With Sunshine

For more on Emma (1996), go to I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

For more on Emma (2009), go to Obviously You’ve Never Met George Knightly

For more on He’s Just NOT That Into You, go to You’re My Exception

For more on Persuasion, go to Oh Oh De Lally

For more on Shrek 2, go to I Wouldn’t Change You, Darling!

For more on Star Wars, go to And Away We Go

For more on The Santa Clause, go to On the 11th Day ‘Til Christmas

For more on Wayne’s World, go to Episode III:Revenge of My Movie Lines List

For more on The Wedding Singer, go to Wanna Grow Old With You

For more on Wild Hogs, go to Sucky Sequels

Sucky Sequels: Mean Girls 2 (2011)

So the other day I had just come home from the store and was dead tired from walking there and back; along with carrying my groceries.

I had work in little over an hour so I decided to surf the channels until I found something good. Of course it was one of those days where nothing is on.

Then I saw something with Meaghan Jette Martin in it. I was intrigued as I only knew Meaghan from the completely sucky TV series  10 Things I Hate About You(The show was so awful! They ruined the movie! I could write a huge post on everything wrong with that show, but I’ll save that for another time. To read more on what I think of the actual film, click  here.)

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The film was Mean Girls 2 which sucked so bad. I mean the original film was awesome as it was so real at how it expressed how girls are in high school. Every girl could relate to it! Everyone could relate to it! I loved it! Why must they constantly remake or create sucky sequels of great films?

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I was just about to flip the channel and try to find something else when who should walk across the screen and change everything?

The Very Handsome…The Very HOT…The Very Talented…

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Diego Boneta!!!

I love this guy! Ever since his guest role in Pretty Little Liars and Drew in Rock of Ages! I couldn’t believe he was in this movie! I mean he deserves so much better. But now that I saw him in there I couldn’t stop watching. I mean look at this guy how could you say no?

Can't look away from his gorgeousness.

Can’t look away from his gorgeousness.

So the film was very dumb and predictable. The main girl, Jo, bands with the “losers” to take down the head girls. Problems arise as the secret Jo has been hiding is found out and she loses her friends; her love interest, and her power. In the end everything works out and everyone gets back together.

Blah, blah

Besides  sucking because of its predictability, it had HUGE plot holes and many, many, many things wrong with it! How did the writers and producers pass this on through?

What the heck is that?

1) North Shore High in Ohio

Why are they in Ohio? They weren’t in Ohio in the first film. I thought they were in California. So now why place them in Ohio? Do they feel that having it in Ohio makes it more racecar friendly as that is the job her dad has? And if it is a different school from the first one, why have the same principle? Does he just like to oversee schools named North Shore? Since the plot was nowhere near the first film, and in a completely different area; why even use the same actor to be the principle and use the same name? Don’t establish links of continuity if there is none!

2) People would not think Jo was the hottest girl ever because she is new

Contrary to cinema belief, when a girl moves to a new school, people don’t think she’s automatically hot. New does not equal hot. It’s more on par with John Tucker Must Die as people don’t know the new girl and don’t care to. I mean in this film they treat her as if she is Aphrodite gracing Earth with a visit.

LOL another 10 Things I Hate About You reference

LOL another 10 Things I Hate About You reference

Now I am not saying that this is what a personally believe, nor am I saying that this is what people should assume; what I am saying is that if a girl dressed grungy, took shop class, knew how to work on cars, made feminist remarks, knew all about sports, almost breaks a guy’s arm for touching her, and doesn’t wear a bra all the time; most people would assume she was a man-hating feminist; also decreasing her hotness factor with most of the guys in the school to 0. And therefore Jo would be friendzoned for life.

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3) NO dogs in school

Okay dogs are not allowed in school. My friend trained guide dogs and brought the pup into school until it graduated and the teachers plus the principle always hated it. Principal Miller had a cow the day that one of the yellow labs pooped in the outside hallway. I remember our English teacher Ms. Martyn hated the dogs. She was always complaining about tripping over it and “play” threatening to get rid of it. One year the dog’s name was Mackenzie, Ms. Martyn’s first name and she would become upset whenever someone would call the dog.

Anyways, yeah dogs are not allowed in school. City ordinances state that domestic animals are not allowed in public education places.

 

Better Schooch your Pooch

Better Scooch your Pooch

4) Dating the School “Hottie” to get a modeling career

So Mandi is dating the school “Hottie”, I put it in quotations because he is clearly a nottie. Tyler (Diego Boneta) is the hottest, but as we have just been told that he and Mandi are siblings that means he is off limits. Anyways, Mandi’s convoluted plan is to date this immature jerk, Nick, so that when he gets his football scholarship to UCLA she can visit him and become a model.

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Mandi’s supposed to be rich and the prettiest girl around. Why doesn’t she just have her parents pay for a portfolio, model there in Ohio and then move out to California. I’m pretty positive that there are many modeling agencies in Ohio.  Oh look there are! And why California over New York? New York is closer to Ohio than California and it has been the fashion capital of the United States for a lot longer. LA will always be second.

I mean it makes sense that she would date the school “hottie” to keep her position of power, but for a modeling career? That just seems weird. And why even go to CA just to visit him? If she wants to be a model that bad, why not just move out there on her own? Why does she need him to be a model? That doesn’t make any sense at all.

5) Guess what…we’re poor

So Jo has always wanted to go to Carniege Mellon since that is where her mom went. Unfortunately, dear old dad lost all the money they had and they can’t afford to send her there, she’ll have to apply to in-state. Now I may be wrong here, but Jo made it sound as if her dad had all the money tucked away set on her tuition. Tuition for Carniege Mellon in 2011 when this film came out was $44,450, (that’s just tuition alone). That means it was $177,800 (before tuition increased) for four years. How did the dad lose all that money? You think that even if he was playing the stock market, like the film uses as an explanation for lack of funds, he would still have been plugging some away. You don’t just put money on stocks and hope that sixteen years later you would have over $177,800. I mean he should have at least most of the first year squirreled away. I mean she is an only child and it seems like he was always planning on sending her to college. And with Jo applying to financial aid she should get some support. The next year she would have completed a year’s residency and can apply for in-state tuition.

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It would be more believable if her dad lost it gambling or due to a past addiction; but I think this was on abcfamily so they wouldn’t have that.

6) French Revolution Meltdown

So we hear of why the Queen Bee Mandi hates super nice girl Abby. Back in middle school Mandi had a French Revolution party and Abby outshone her in a Marie Antoinette oufit.

First of all what 11-year old has a French Revolution themed Halloween party? What kid (besides me and other nerds) even knew about the French Revolution? (I had read he children’s version of A Tale of Two Cities already and the Marie Antoinette Diary from the Royal Diary Series.)  What popular kid who is not into school or history would do that? And what kid would ever do that for a Halloween party? Not much imagination allowed for costumes. Usually you do “At the Movies”, “Disney”, “Monster Films”or a “Decade” party. But hey, I guess it makes buying the food easy, as you can serve them nothing. That would get those kids really into the spirit. It would make more sense for her to have a Phantom of the Opera party as the film just came out. The Marie Antoinette film which would have sparked interest in the French Revolution wouldn’t be coming out for another two years.

And why would someone throwing a French Revolution party, and not dress up as Marie Antoinette? It’s her party of course she is going to be Queen, especially if she is Queen Bee of the school. No way would the host dress up as a peasant girl.AdrianBoothroyd_998696c

And on that note, what parent would dare send their child to someone else’s party dressed up as the Queen? That is just rude and distasteful. Dear Abby would disapprove! You know, at this point I can’t say I blame Mandi for hating Abby, I would have been pissed too.

Is this too crazy?

Oh look Abby, you’re up.

7) I Want the Disabled Spot!!!

Okay so Mandi gets a boot up her butt because she has the number two spot, the number one is the disabled parking, which Abby ends up snagging. Come on now, no one would be jealous over that. Besides, Mandi would hate to wear a walking cast, as it would clash with all her outfits. Not buying it.

8) Pimping Out Your Friends…That’s Real Friendship

So Mandi enlists the help of school web designer and nerd Elliot in order to embarrass Abby. In fact to make sure he does it, she pimps out her friend Chastity. The only problem with this is that she never had to pimp out her friend in the first place. Mandi asks Elliot for a favor and he agrees right away. Then she sics Chastity on him to make sure he does it. But if he already agreed than why do that? Why pay for something when you can get it for free? That makes no sense at all!

9) “Most Girls Would Have Laughed, Texted, or Posted a Status Update”

Okay writers I don’t know what Hell you’ve been having Tyler live in, (oh wait that’s right Mandi’s house), but every girl he knows would have reacted that way? I find that a bit odd that Jo is the first girl he’s ever met that would actually show compassion. Seriously? Even if he has been sequestered in a home with a she-devil, I do expect him to go outside sometime and if he did he should meet way more than one girl who would not have been cruel to others for laughs. As a delegate of my sex I take it upon myself to be the one to teach Diego, uh I mean Tyler, that there are caring and compassionate women in this world. 😉

It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it.

It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

10) Guns in School? Is this Writer on Crack?

So embarrassing Abby by spilling beans and sour cream on her, taking a pic, uploading that to the school website and texting it out to everyone wasn’t good enough for Mandi. She had a guy paintball Abby’s car! PAINTBALL!

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How the heck did they get a paintball gun in the school? Man the security guards, the principal, the cops, SWAT team would be all over this thing.

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And why on Earth would the black kid be the one doing it. Hello! Abby’s parents are super rich, and Mandi is not going to stick up for you! There is no way that this black guy would have been doing the shooting.

And lets get back to the gun issue. How the heck do you get a paintball gun in school, and why are there no cops crawling all over or taking you down? Paintball guns are not that quiet, a teacher would have heard and seen you and called 9-1-1. I mean a 7 year old got suspended for bringing a water gun to school, an Ohio first grader got suspended for bringing an airsoft gun to school (maybe it happens in Ohio more than I thought), oh and looky here Kansas student expelled for bringing a paintball gun to school. I mean after the Columbine shootings and Virgina Tech, schools don’t mess around. This kid would have been taken down or shot.

The Steve Sloan tackle

The Steve Sloan tackle

11) “It Wasn’t an Accident, Just Some Girls at School”

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This is more than just teasing, this is serious assault. They hired a guy to shoot up Abby’s car with a paintball gun. That’s messed up, that requires notifying the parents, that means taking action. Don’t  pull a Baby-sitter’s club and try and handle this problem all on your own.

12) Prostitution…I Mean Escorting or Supplying a Service

So Abby’s Billy Mays-esque father offers to pay Jo to be Abby’s best friend. When Jo declines, stating that this is wrong; he offers to pay her college tuition.

He looks devilish and creepy here. Definitely wouldn't want to be in a room alone with him.

He looks devilish and creepy here. Definitely wouldn’t want to be in a room alone with him.

Okay, I don’t care how much anyone wants their kid to have friends, there is no way he is paying $177,800 to some kid he doesn’t even know. If he is such a smart businessman, he could hire an actor and have them fake be enrolled in the school. I mean a guy who is always has a wad of bills on hand and “has more money than he can spend” would make that happen in a second.

And why would he pay her in cash? That seems really weird and under the table. I would think he was secretly in  the mafia or a drug lord. The Kingpin, Henry Hills, etc.

If I was Jo I would ask the dad to create a scholarship (in which I would be the one already set up to win) that I would apply to. Therefore causing me to not feel like a prostitute, and Abby would never find out that I was being paid to be her friend. (Which you know is going to happen, these films always follow a pattern.)

I wonder what her dad would say once he saw the money. I mean you could pull a 21 and tuck it away, but it is probably safer in a bank. But how would you explain were you got the dough from. Can’t say a casino as she isn’t 21 yet. If she tried to pay her tuition in cash the IRS would swoop on ’em. Problems galore.

13) B.A. Biker Chick?

Helloooooo she rides a Vespa! A frickin’ Vespa!! I don’t know what B.A. may be in Ohio but here in CA I have never heard people who ride Vespas called B.A. And Biker chick? Bikers would eat her for breakfast. I’m sure the Hell’s Angels would kill Mandi for even supposing that Vespa riding Jo is in the same level as them.

Ray Liotta would take Mandi, Jo, and the rest of the crew out just like in Wild Hogs. 

14) Paparazzi? Really TMZ Wannabe has that much time?

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I don’t care how popular, how cool, or how much of a Queen Bee she is; there is no way that this girl is going to approach her every morning for a quote on something to place in her paper.

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15) Mandi is a Sociopath

Clearly we have seen that Mandi has some issues, but she is also a raging sociopath. She is attractive and always decked out, she believes herself to be best, has no respect for rules and responsibilities (I think bringing a dog to school and hiring someone to shoot up a girl’s car clearly answers this as check), she is a pathological liar, she is a parasite that feeds on you, comes from a broken family, and she does you wrong “because you asked for it”. Not only does she fit those traits but has exhibited cruelty to animals (threw her dog in the trash), hired someone to assault a girl’s car with a gun (symbolizing what she wants to do to the girl in real life), gave someone with an allergy to strawberries the fruit that could kill her; clearly someone needs to turn her in before she becomes the next Patrick Bateman.

Patrick Bateman: I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Patrick Bateman: I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don’t know why. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

Further proof: Later she pimps out Chastity to get Jo’s file and has Hope stalk Jo. This girl needs help, pronto. And her friends need to find someone saner to hangout with.

16) Random Tyler Moment

Okay not that I’m complaining that we get a look at Diego Boneta, but this is just strange. Jo’s walking down the hallway and we see Tyler behind her about to approach her, but never does. Like what the heck writers! Is he too scared to ask her out? Did he get waylaid by a friend? Like why place him in a scene if he’s not going to do anything? Did you think we would forget about him?

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As if we could ever forget him.

17) Crushed Drink in Anger, Yet no Spills

Seriously?

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First of all it would be really hard to just crush it like that, but even more so not to spill on herself. The drink would have gone flying all over her, and she would have been full of stains. Just saying.

18) Not Breaking but Entering

Screen shot 2013-04-14 at 12.19.02 AMSo Mandi and the crew just run into the Mitchell’s garage in hopes of finding a way to embarrass Jo. Now, maybe this is just me, but wouldn’t you have locked your garage if you aren’t outside? Especially if you have an expensive racecar in it? Now I know that both Jo and her dad are home but that thing must have cost a fortune. Cars can be $1-3 million per team and engines alone can cause up to $8 million. If it were me, I’d be keeping that baby locked up tight.

19) Sticky Situation

So Mandi & Co decide that to really embarrass Jo and get her to march to their tune; they will put industrial glue on her vespa causing her to get stuck. The only problem is, it should have lost it’s stickiness long before then. Jo meets up with Abby around 3:00, went to the auto parts store and probably got home around 4:00-4:30. Abby went home about 4:30-5:20 when the girls showed up. They douse her Vespa with glue about 5:30-6. Now judging by most schools, she has class at 8 which means that she will be leaving anywhere from 7-7:30 So that glue that has been on the chair has been aired out for over 12 hours, it should be very dry now and not sticky. And wouldn’t Jo have noticed when she fixed up her Vespa?  I mean most industrial glue stinks. There is no way that the glue would be working by the time Jo place her rump on the  bike.

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20) Riding Vespa through the School

Screen shot 2013-04-14 at 12.39.21 AMAll I could think of when watching this is how much trouble she would get in. And you notice they always do something like this in movies, but it would never work in real life. There are too many people in the halls for you to get around or make wide enough turns. Plus how would she get it through the bathroom door? They always open out. The principal would be on her case, she’d probably be expelled, yeah muy mal.

21) Art Smock Skirt

Seriously? The art smock is just going to magically stay on her without any safety pins, ties, or buttons; and still look good? Yeah right! This is what Abby hands her.

funny_artist_art_smock_art_painting_apron-r3ff7dd4bc34e43dfa1d0dadfb63ae0a6_v9wtf_8byvr_512There is no way you are turning this into an actual skirt. I know, I’ve tried. I had a barbie shirt that was red and white, and really wanted a red skirt to go with it. Barbie didn’t have a red skirt, but she had a red apron. I tried to make a skirt, but a portion of Barbie’s hiney was always showing. You can’t do it by tying. I’m actually going to try myself to see if it works. I’ll let you know.

Yep tried it. Doesn’t work.

22) Golden Gate Bridge

Jo is telling Abby about some her favorite buildings and is super surprised Abby has heard of the Golden Gate Bridge. Hellooo, maybe my California is showing but I would think that most people in the US have heard of the Golden Gate Bridge. After all it is one of the seven man made wonders of the U.S. Jo you need to crawl out from under that rock you have been living in and get in the real world.

23) Grounds for Termination

So Jo is pretending to be Abby’s friend because Abby’s dad is paying her. Then Abby offers to draw buildings for Jo since she sucks as an artist but wants to be an architect, (wow-I hope you are good at math). Abby tells Jo not to tell Abby’s father because he doesn’t approve.

hold-up-wait-a-minute-let-me-put-some-pimpin-in-itI don’t know about you all, but this just screams BAD IDEA. Her dad isn’t going to be too happy to hear that you are encouraging something he disapproves of. If he finds out he will probably out you and fire you.

24) I’m Applying to Columbia…Just Kidding it’s really NYU

Uh, hello Abby but unless you are planning on paying for college yourself, your dad is going to figure out that you are going to NYU and not Columbia. In fact I don’t know how you even imagined getting that past him.

Ugh, and I hate these storylines. Oh no-poor little rich girl who has a ton of money and could go to any college anywhere-but shoot, Dad won’t support my artistic dreams.

Ugh!

I also feel the whole wealthy kid wanting to go to art school and dad not approving, and therefore the girl having to use her skills to make it on her own is a little too much of a ripoff of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, primarily the third book Girls in Pants. The same thing happens to Lena. I don’t understand how these rich kids can always get money and win scholarships, but here I am someone who’s parents can’t afford college and never seems to get the breaks. Oh yeah, that’s right, these are works of fiction and I’m in the real world. Seriously though, please STOP these storylines.

25) Jo’s Daydream/Memory (Not too sure which it is)

Actually there is nothing wrong with this scene. This was the best part of the film, (the only part). I just felt like including it. 😉

26) The Big Egg Drop Project

So in order to be one of the finalist for this architecture scholarship, Jo has to pass this egg drop project that is extremely hard. Now I’ve had to do this in my physics class, it is not that hard so don’t understand the big deal. In my class we had to create a basket made of paper and drop a raw egg in it. If the egg didn’t crack, we’d go on to the next level were we would have to drop an egg from a higher point. I remember just throwing a bunch of paper together and testing it out by tossing Dum Dums in it. Got it completed in less than 20 mins. Now they are having to make a parachute, but seriously why this be the big project? I was expecting something more like the projects they do in Ren’s woodshop class in Even Stevens. The one where she has makes a stool. I mean come on, the writers could have come up with something better.

27)Borrowed Car

I get that Nick has a nice car, and hey it would impress practically any girl but why doesn’t Tyler have his own sweet ride? Mandi has a cool car and she is only his stepsister, why isn’t his father buying his son a set of wheels?

Screen shot 2013-04-08 at 11.32.32 PM

I mean in Pretty Little Liars when he was the “poor kid” dating rich Spencer he had an amazing set of wheels. Why doesn’t he have any when he is a rich kid?

I love Mustangs!

I love Mustangs!

It is true that we aren’t supposed to know that Mandi and Tyler are stepsibs yet, but still how come he doesn’t have a hot ride?

And granted, his friend could have a better car than him, but if he is planning on making out with Jo that night, wouldn’t it be strange to do it in your friends car? I mean I think that is sooo weird.

28) Photo Finish Date

Okay I get that the writers want to show this awesome date that Jo and Tyler are having but in a serious of snapshots? Are you kidding me? I understand that they might be tired of writing text, but that is one of the worst things you could do in the middle of the film. It just distances the viewer from the plot and to be perfectly honest, bores them. “Photographs” of scenes should only be done in the beginning or end, like The Parent Trap (1998). I mean who is taking these photos on their date? Did they bring a third person just for this? Is it a ghost?

29) Too Touchy-Feely

Okay this is Tyler and Jo’s first date, and Jo’s first date ever, there is no way they’d be THAT comfortable climbing all over and feeding each other. On the first date, you are still reserved as you are trying to figure out what is acceptable by the other person. There ain’t no way that Jo’d be that okay seeing as she’s never been on a date with any guy before and would definitely be way nervous and awkward.

30)Asking About Past Loves

Okay there is no way anyone would ask the question of “how many have you been with?” on the first date! It’s the FIRST DATE! Those are things you wait to ask until you have been dating for a while. No one wants to hear on the first date every single person their crush has been with. That comes later when the two have become more invested in each other and are not so quick to run out. Tyler I love ya, but that was a bad move.

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31) Tyler and Mandi? Hooking Up? GROSS!

Okay, why does everyone say this? I mean yes they grew up together, but they are step siblings. NOT BLOOD RELATED, therefore it is perfectly legal for them to have a relationship. I mean hasn’t any of these kids seen Cruel Intentions? (I don’t recommend it) They have that total vibe going on as Mandi seems waay into Tyler. Except Mandi is both the Ryan Phillippe and Sarah Michelle Gellar characters, Tyler is just awesome.

Cruel Intentions + Mean Girls 2

Cruel Intentions + Mean Girls 2

Jo could definitely be Reese Witherspoon‘s part.

32) I’m Sorry I Posted that Awful Video of You

Okay  Elliot apologizes for posting the video on the web, and says he no longer can be webmaster. All I can say is I’m feeling no sympathy for you here and I want some real groveling. YOU POSTED A VIDEO OF ME ON THE INTERNET, its going to be around FOREVER! You humiliated me in front of EVERYONE I deserve all kinds of things for you to prove your sorry. I’d be screaming at him like Karen when Henry stands her up in Goodfellas.

If I was Abby I’d be yelling at Elliot “whatever you are doing to earn my forgiveness, it better be good”. And it better be as high up there as Henry Hill’s “I’m sorry”.

33) The Wrong Eggs

Screen shot 2013-04-18 at 12.35.30 AM

So Mandi switches the eggs and Jo & Tyler end up with an unboiled egg instead of a boiled one. Their parachute crashes and they receive a 0.

First of all, when I did this in my physics class you had to use raw eggs because that better proved how strong your egg catcher thingy was. And we didn’t have a ruler we just had to try and toss it in our baskets. So I really am not understanding the level of difficulty this is supposed to be.

Secondly, besides that though, how could they not tell the egg was raw? I mean a raw egg has a completely different feel to it regarding weight. It just seems so much lighter and you can tell there is liquid in it.

Third, what teacher is really that much of a dipstick they won’t let you go again using the proper egg? He totally would have. Or they could bring their parents in and start a huge fuss how it wasn’t fair that they weren’t able to have an equal try.

And once again what does the egg drop have to do with architecture? NOTHING!

But hey at least one good thing came out of this. Raw egg is really good for your hair.

34) Doctor Supplying Drugs

Okay I don’t care how rich Hope may be, but there is no way that a doctor is going to provide her with laughing gas just because she asks for it.  Oh look:

“Ohio: Selling nitrous oxide to a person under 21 years of age is illegal. Selling nitrous oxide (to a person over 21 years of age) is illegal if also devices used to inhale nitrous oxide are sold, or if the seller has reason to believe that the nitrous oxide will be inhaled. All sales have to be recorded. All cartridges containing nitrous oxide have to be printed with a note which includes intended use and warning about the presence of ‘dangerous health effects’. “

Yeah, there is no way that Hope could have gotten a supply as her doctor would not want to risk losing his license.

35) Now You’re Just Asking for It (Not Breaking but Entering Part 2)

Screen shot 2013-04-18 at 12.53.29 AM

Okay man you have an expensive racecar in your garage! LOCK IT! This baby is  $1-3 million per team and engines alone can cause up to $8 million!! Keep that car locked up tight. You are just asking for someone to steal from you. No sympathy right now. I mean I have nothing valuable in my garage but I keep that puppy sealed up stronger than a Pharaoh’s tomb. This reminds me of the Bling Ring. These kids stole from a ton of stars because they never locked up their belongings. Come on you have valuables! Protect Them!

And this is further proof that Mandi is a psychopath.

36) “Not enough time, not enough money”

Okay so Jo’s dad is crying like a baby because his engine is ruined, and states that only if they had time and money to fix it. Now Jo has money that could probably help, but doesn’t offer it to her dad. What a jerk!

Now I know it would be hard to, because her father would want to know where it came from, and would probably make her give it back, but look at this man! How could you not even offer it?

It would break my heart to see my dad cry.

It would break my heart to see my dad cry.

37) Girl Hormones

Okay, I don’t like the fact that this movie is making it seem as if feeling upset and wanting to crush someone for hurting you is “girly” and something that “tomboy” Jo never did. Those are things everyone goes through, no matter what their sex. Bad form, bad form.

See Hook agrees with me.

See Hook agrees with me.

38) “But it was so much fun”

When Jo confronts Mandi she flat out admits she did it. Come on, there is no way that she would say it in a crowded area like that. I mean TMZ girl is not that far away and this is the scoop of the year. She’d pull a Campus Confidental and expose Mandi for the psycho she is. Mandi seems pretty smart, she’d probably say she didn’t know what Jo was talking about, while smiling the whole time to let Jo she knew exactly what she was talking about. The whole false innocent thing is totally Mandi’s MO. Plus she would know that would piss off Jo even more.

39) Almost tells her, but chickens out at the last minute.

Classic movie cliché, right up there with the POG. I mean right here you seal the friendships death warrant. There is no surprise ending in this film, we know how it will be. I know that it is something you can never seem to cut out of the equation, but I really wish they would come up with a new plot line than “I’m lying abut really being your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend, but I really fell for you in the end. Our relationship may have been built on a lie but the rest has been true” thing.

40) Getting ready for the party scene

Okay I understand that the writers created this scene so that we could see the brother/sister dynamics and that we could hear all the reasons why Tyler dislikes Mandi (that way when Jo starts acting like Mandi we will understand why the two break up. I mean we know they are going to be Super Ob.) But this scene is just too intimate. It just seems weird to me that he is talking to her while she is getting ready in her room that close to her.

Screen shot 2013-04-25 at 11.52.40 PM

I know the film is trying to dissuade a whole stepbrother/stepsister relationship, but this scene kept giving me flashbacks to Cruel Intentions. I mean the tension between the two was really similar.

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They should have had the scene in the  kitchen or living room or at least not have them speak that close to each other. I mean it looks like they are going to kiss.

41)”Who wants to go to a party where they have to wear cocktail dresses?”

Uh, Jo I know you are supposed to be a super tomboy, but do you really have so little imagination that you can’t fathom why some girls would want to dress up? Lots of girls enjoy it, I mean look at prom. You like to dress up and feel like a beautiful creature ever now and then.

And don’t you dare get on your tomboy high horse again, because you wear a nice dress to your own party. So…just shut up. So there. (Granted Abby’s mom insists that she dress up, but if Jo was really as principled as she is always insisting, she would have just ignored her)

So there!

They may be trying to portray Abby’s mom as silly but she’s right. If your the host/hostess you need to dress your best. It’s YOUR party. And the mom is totally right, YOYO (You’re Only Young Once) Live it up, when your old and gray you can look back on those memories of when you could wear those sexy dresses.

42) There is no way that Abby’s dress could fit Jo.

Abby’s mom insists the girls dress up and pulls out a skin tight green tank dress for Jo to wear. There is no way that the two girls could wear the same size as Abby is much more fuller figured. The dress would be way too big for Jo and falling off her. Sorry guys, this isn’t The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. It would actually make more sense if the mom pulled something out of her closet as the two are a similar size.

There's just no way

There’s just no way

43) TMZ girl is not a true friend

Okay TMZ wannabe girl has been hanging out with Abby and Jo all the time. She is supposed to be a “good” friend, yet she goes to Mandi’s party first instead of Jo and Abby. What kind of friend would do that? Why write her that way? All I got to say about her now is CUT ‘ER LOOSE!

And run fast

44) Clip in colored hair

Screen shot 2013-04-26 at 12.18.54 AM

Okay NOBODY wears that anymore, it died out in the early 2000s. I remember, because I used to have some. What was really in 2011 was tinseling the hair or the pheasant hair extensions. Whoever was writing this wasn’t with the times.

45) Tree Dancer, not hugger

Seriously?

Seriously?

Like dancing with a tree is really they way into a girl’s heart? I know it is supposed to be sweet/silly, but it just is dumb to me. Like that is really going to impress me and have me forgive you? No way! I want GROVELING!

46) Drug Deal

Screen shot 2013-04-26 at 12.35.06 AM

So Mandi has Hope pay the pizza delivery guy to coat the pizzas in ipecac. And all I can think is how does Hope have that much money and would the pizza guy really jeopardize his job that way? I mean first of all, having all these kids throwing up is going to reflect very badly on whatever pizzareia he is employed at. The guy will lose money, and pizza boy here will be out of a job.

Plus with such a wide amount vomiting, I feel like these kids are going to be tested to make see what was exactly the cause. Their drug tests, I’m sure would show that these kids all took ipecac, which will be denied by everyone. When they test the pizzas, they will see that this is where it came from. Then, everyone will piece together where the ipecac came from which is for sure going to get Pizza boy in a ton of trouble. Hope, I’m not so sure, her family has money.

I mean giving someone laxatives without their knowledge is technically a murder attempt, I know because someone threatened me with this and got in big trouble. It’s because you can die from too much diarrhea. I feel that the same would go for ipecac. I’m pretty sure Pizza boy does not want to go to jail.

47) Delivery Boy Must Have Wings

Okay so Hope pays Pizza boy to coat the pizzas with ipecac, runs back to get the rest of the group at Mandi’s, gets her mask and gloves and the quartet run back over to Abby’s. Now this couldn’t have taken more than 10-15 mins, 20 if we’re really pushing it. So how the heck were they able to, in that short of time get enough Chinese food for everyone?

Where-To-Find-Hong-Kong-One-Dollar-Chinese-FoodThere is no way they could do that with so many people at Abby’s place. I mean they had like 6-8 boxes of pizza, and now they have to buy a carton for everyone? There has to be over a 100 people there. There is no delivery place on Earth that could make that much food, that quickly, then have someone take it over and deliver it, and everyone grab a carton and finish all before Mandi & Co make the less then 10 min walk to Abby’s.

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48) I’m Blind to Everything

Okay, so I understand that Nick is not the brightest crayon in the box and can be pretty oblivious to everything, but when Jo grabs the ipecac-laden pizza out of the trash, how does he not see it? It is right in front of him!

Screen shot 2013-04-26 at 12.51.11 AMHe should have totally seen it and been like, “I don’t want it…” Plus that is just gross and mean to give someone something out of the trash. And mean to use Nick, who hasn’t done anything to you.

And so that’s as far as I got in the film. I then had to go and get ready for work. Let me know what you think of this post, and comment below if you want me to finish reviewing the film. I had a ton of fun writing this, as I hated it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.

For more (and better) sequels, go to I Want Friend Like Me: The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

For more on Diego Boneta, go to Nothing But A Good Time