What the H*** Are You? I’m a Leprechaun, Me Dear: Leprechaun (1993)

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!!!

So most of you are going:

No, I’m not crazy. I know that this is October, Horrorfest VIII. But I couldn’t help it as this film has a Leprechaun and I watched it on Saint Patrick’s Day.

Tory: What the h*** are you?

Leprechaun: I’m a leprechaun, me dear.

So I have never watched this film prior to this time, I’d only seen Nostalgia Critic’s review of it. It never really interested me, but when we added it at the library I thought “what the heck, why not?”

This was probably the dumbest thing I have ever seen.

Warwick Davis plays the Leprechaun and I’m just why? This is a talented actor! Star Wars, Narnia, Willow, etc. You’re better than this.

Than this movie!

So the film starts off with Dan O’Grady returning from Ireland. He searched and caught a Leprechaun, stealing the Leprechaun’s gold.

The Leprechaun follows him, and is set on killing him, but kills the wife first. But in the midst of his planned murder spree-he stops for tea.

Now I love tea, but it just seems weird to me that he stopped for tea. At first it made me laugh, but then it made me realize how creepy this leprechaun is. Like he just legit murdered someone and then nonchalantly has tea time.

Or scones!

O’Grady outsmarts him and traps him in a chest, putting a four-leaf clover on it. Now the leprechaun is stuck in there until the clover comes off.

[Daniel O’Grady lays the four-leaf clover over the Leprechaun’s crate]

Daniel O’Grady: The power of this clover will keep you in there forever.

Leprechaun: [From inside the crate] Get that d*** clover off this crate. I told you, you couldn’t kill me. Where’s me gold, Danny, me boy? [Mr. O’Grady begins to hammer the crate shut] Oh, Danny, don’t strain yourself.[Mr. O’Grady then begins to pour gasoline over the crate] No, not gasoline. You can’t burn me, I won’t let ya. [the Leprechaun laughs] Don’t strain yourself. You’re not as young as you used to be. You might have a stroke. I curse ye for all eternity. I’ve traded me soul for me gold. You’ll trade your life. [the Leprechaun laughs]

O’Grady has a heart attack, and we flip to the next scene…

Jennifer Aniston is teenage (?) Tory. She is moving with her dad from LA to North Dakota, for reasons unknown. There is no character development, or personality (besides whines a lot) from her.

So anoying

OMG Jennifer Aniston calls where she is New Mexico and her dad said North Dakota-like those two look nothing alike. Ughhhhhh, I can already tell this will be a loooooooong movie.

Ugh!

They come to a beat up, dirty, nasty house that used to be the O’Grady home and the Dad bought it. So….how like much time has passed? I mean O’Grady is alive and in a nursing home, but it looks like it has been forgotten for 25 years. No, make that 50, like the Jumanji house looked way better.

I looked it up and it is ten years. Ten YEARS?! Seriously-it looks waaaay longer.

Time has not been kind to you.

So there is a group of three guys painting the house. I guess the dad hired them, I mean they never explain that, or why they are there-but I guess so.

Speaking of which, who are these guys. I mean I know they are painters, but are they brothers? Cousins? Why is that little kid with them and why isn’t he in school? Now that I mention school, when does this take place? Summer? What is going on?

So Nostalgia Critic and Cinema Snob call the one guy Tory likes Jim Carrey Kevin Bacon, and I have to say they are right. He’s like the no-name brand of a famous cereal.

OMG, I just realized the big guy is evil Francis from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure! Francis the bike stealer. Better not trust him, once a bike stealer, always a bike stealer.

I loved PeeWee’s Grand Adventure, I used to watch the movie again and again. So hilarious. And much better than this one. But enough about that, back to the movie.

Do I have to?

Francis…I mean Ozzie accidentally knocks the clover off the box, which releases the Leprechaun.

Ozzie tells the rest outside but they don;t believe him.

And…wait a second, why is Jennifer Aniston Tory painting? This doesn’t make sense. With the little bit of her character we have had so far, there is no way she would be into that.

Ozzie spots a rainbow, and he and the little boy follows it finding the gold-Ozzie swallowing one-Really?

Alex: Hey, Ozzie. Do you know what this means?

Ozzie: We’re rich, and I can buy comics every week.

Alex: Yeah, but you know what else? We can get you an operation.

Ozzie: For what?

Alex: To make you smart. See we can go to the hospital and have them operate and fix your brain.

Ozzie: But – But I – I’m smart.

Alex: Yeah. Well, sort of. What I mean is we can make you real smart. That way, people won’t make fun of you.

An operation for your brain, that went dark. Who is this kid-jeez.

What the heck?

The Leprechaun hides under a truck and gropes Tory’s leg. She complains about it and her dad’s reaction is hilarious.

Tory: [Tory falls after something touches her leg from under the truck. Nathan comes to check on Tory] I thought that was you rubbing my leg.

Nathan Murphy: And you let me?

Tory: That’s not the point. Something was rubbing my leg, like caressing it. And it-it ran off over there.

J.D. Reding: It’s probably just an old possum, honey.

Tory: No, dad. That was not an animal. I know what it feels like when a man caresses my leg.

J.D. Reding: You do?

Really dad, I’m sure ANYONE could tell the difference between a possum which has CLAWS and a male hand.

You know what, imagine a movie about horrifying possums, like that would be the SCARIEST thing ever. You don’t know scared until you have had one of these ugly demon creatures hiss at you.

And do Possums even live in North Dakota, I would think it would be too cold…You know what-looking it up…It looks like only in the last few years have they been heading into North Dakota, and a very tiny population.

Hmmm?

The Leprechaun attacks the dad and he ends up in the hospital overnight. The leprechaun follows then attacks them on a tricycle.

A leprechaun on a tricycle-the least scariest thing ever. Seriously? Who green lighted this?

Jennifer…I mean Tori and the Kevin Bacon lookalike go to the hospital and then over to a diner, where Ozzie and the little boy Alex are supposed to meet them. Ozzie and Alex stop at a merchant’s office first, showing him the gold coins, leaving one with him.

Afterwards, the Leprechaun comes and he…

He pogo sticks him to death. Pogo Sticking the merchant to death-this is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.

Ugh! Really!

And then after he kills him-he…he stops to clean his shoes!? WHO green-lighted this film? WHO?

We flip back to Jennifer Anniston complains again-this time about the diner food. I hate to agree with her-but the stuff discount KB is eating looks like dog food. I wouldn’t want it either.

Later, the Leprechaun drives one of those Barbie cars. Oh man, I wanted one of those so bad as a kid. Anyways… A cop pulls the Leprechaun over and I’m like how does a toy car even have lights to actually drive in the dark?

The Leprechaun kills him.

The Leprechaun goes back to the house and tosses it looking for his gold. And stops to shine shoes.

The crew comes back to the house and Discount Kevin Bacon says a bear could have messed up the house? Really? REALLY??? Have you seem what bears do-it would have been way more messed up. I mean you live in North Dakota, you should know what something looks like after a bear attacks it. Why is everyone in this movie so stupid? Oh wait, it is a stupid movie.

“I’m going to check out the bedrooms for where we will stay.” Why are they all staying at the house with Jennifer Aniston? Where do they usually live? Why is she okay with this? She doesn’t know these guys they could be crazy or rape her.

This movie!!!!

And was her dad really okay with this when he was freaking out over the leg thing earlier? Don’t these boys have their own home? Wouldn’t it have made more sense for her to stay at the hospital or a motel rather than go home for the night in a beat up house in the middle of nowhere?

I’m done

Discount KB gets caught in a bear trap and they have a stupid fight with a leprechaun. Basically whack-a-mole with a leprechaun.

I’m out!

They all run to the car, which won’t work because of the leprechaun who dismantled the battery. They are trapped inside it when he comes chasing after them in a car with a pitchfork attached.

First, usually the monster is attacked with the pitchfork so I guess trying to do irony or something.

Huh?

And second, all I can think is that he is a little man in a kid’s car. Like, he seriously can’t be stopped. I mean he’s the size of a toddler. And he manages to knock the truck over? Seriously. This movie is sooooooo dumb!!!!

Or plot!

They escape to the house and slam the door on his hand-making him loose it. Tori then goes out with a gun (even though she’s never shot anything before.) And gives the gold to the Leprechaun.

She asks what he is, and I know it is dark, and your character has already been established as not smart, but really? Really? Really?

Leprechaun counts the gold and realizes one is missing,

They open the fridge-no freezer so I don’t know how this is possible-for ice and the leprechaun is inside. Well if he can transport into buildings-why didn’t he do that earlier. Why didn’t he just get them in the truck or come in the house hours ago. This movie makes no sense!!!! NO SENSE!!!!!

How I feel about this movie:

They try to call for help, but the Leprechaun takes over the phone copying Nightmare on Elm Street with his tongue.

EW!

They then throw shoes at the Leprechaun to escape to find Mr. O’Grady to figure out how to stop the Leprechaun. The Leprechaun actually stops to shine the shoes.

WHAT AM I WATCHING??!!

That little boy Alex is a total sicko and psycho-in-training. The next Norman Bates-the way he talks-just saying!

Killer

So they get to the hospital and the Leprechaun is there. If the Leprechaun was mending the shoes how did he get the hospital so fast? Magic powers? And if he has such powers WHY DIDN’T HE USE THEM EARlIER AND JUST KILL EVERYONE ALREADY

UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH, I’m so over this film. UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!

Tori finds O’Grady and he tells her to find a four-leaf clover. She goes home…and where are the guys? Weren’t they all in a car together? Or are they still at the house. If they were at the house why didn’t the Leprechaun kill them as he wants the gold in Ozzie’s stomach? If they went with her, why didn’t they come back with her? I’m confused.

Tory goes to a green glowing clover patch. Now I’ve seen A LOT of movies, and glowing green-radiation right there. She’s going to become a giant shamrock woman or have earth-driven powers or something after touching these.

But not everyone knows how to wield it.

Of course not really, bur I’m sure that would be a waaaay better film.

So the Leprechaun transports himself and follows her. They get the four-leaf clover, kill the leprechaun, and then throw him in the well? Wow, You just poisoned the water supply.

And then gasoline? Do these people not care at all about the environment?

I’m out!

OMG I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING. THE LEPRECHAUN GETS THROWN IN THE WELL! WHAT IF HE IS REALLY?

Would be a better film, dontcha think?

Hmm…

All in all, it’s a DUUUUUUUUUUUUUMB Movie and I’m glad it’s over.

Yay!

To start Horrorfest VIII from the beginning, go to Count Dracula the Propagator of This Unspeakable Evil Has Disappeared. He Must Be Found and Destroyed!: Horror of Dracula (1958)

For more leprechauns, go to Pot o’ Gold: 17 Irish Heroes

For more Nostalgia Critic, go to Ever Heard of the Tommyknockers?: The Tommyknockers (1993)

For more on Jennifer Anniston, go to Even Though You Are Only Using Me and Made Me Look Like a Jerk, I Only Care About Helping You: Picture Perfect (1997)

Amish Baked Oatmeal

Or scones!

So I love tea

And I am always on the lookout for new recipes to go with my teatime. This one my sister blog, Mysterious Eats, posted and it looked so good, I decided I needed to try it out with my tea time.

Ingredients:

  • 2 Large Eggs
  • 1/2 Cup of Light Brown Sugar
  • 1.5 Tsp of Baking Powder
  • 1 Tsp of Cinnamon
  • 1.5 Tsp of Vanilla Extract
  • 1/4 Tsp of Salt
  • 1 1/4 Cup of Milk
  • 1/4 Cup of Butter, Melted
  • 3 Cups of Rolled Oats (Quick Oats work too)
  • Cinnamon Sugar

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Butter an 8×8 inch baking dish, set aside.
  3. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the eggs.
  4. Add in brown sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, vanilla, and salt. Whisk until there are no lumps.
  5. Stir in milk and melted butter.
  6. Add oats and mix well.
  7. Pour into prepared baking dish and spread evenly. (At this point you can refrigerate overnight or bake immediately.)
  8. Bake in oven 30-40 mins until it is set.
  9. Top with cinnamon and sugar.
  10. Cut into squares and serve warm with fresh nuts, milk, a little cream, half and half, maple syrup, or honey of desired.

Unlike my sister blog I took a couple tablespoons of my hot Earl Grey tea and poured them over the top of the square and I thought it tasted fantastic! I would recommend this for you tea time.

For more goodies to make with your tea, go to Cheese Round

For more recipes, go to Green Tea Frappuccino

Got Tea?

So I went to make a cup of tea as I love to drink it even in the heat:

As I went to make it I saw:

My tea is almost gone!!!!!

What am I going to do???

I used to go to Teavana, but it closed.

I tried another place, but I didn’t like their loose-leaf tea. I know I could get the bagged type, but loose leaf is so much better. There is a whole ritual to it that is really enjoyable.

I don’t know where I will go to get more but I for sure won’t be giving up my tea time.

For more tea posts, go to Cats, Books, & Tea

For more tea recipes, go to London Fog Fauxccino

Irish Blueberry Scones

So what goes best with Jane Austen novels and films?

And what goes with tea?

SCONES!

These come from my sister blog  MysteriousEats.wordpress.com

Or scones!

Ingredients:

  • 1 3/4 Cups of All-Purpose Flour
  • 2 Tablespoons of Sugar
  • 1 Tablespoon of Baking Powder
  • 1/4 Teaspoon of Salt
  • 4 Tablespoons of Unsalted Butter, sliced into pats
  • 1/2 Cup of Dried Blueberries
  • 5 Tablespoons of Milk
  • 2 Eggs, one for the batter and one to brush the tops
  • Sugar to sprinkle (optional)

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
  2. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
  3. Whisk the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt together in a large bowl.
  4. Rub in the butter with your fingers until it’s all worked in.
  5. Mix in the dried blueberries.
  6. In a small bowl or measuring cup, whisk the milk and one egg together.
  7. Pour the milk mixture in with the dry and gently mix until the liquid is fully incorporated.
  8. Transfer dough to lightly floured surface. Knead the dough a few times and pat it into a disc about 3/4″ thick.
  9. Slice the dough into 8 equal wedges, and transfer the wedges to the prepared baking sheet, leaving spaces between each scone.
  10. Brush with egg and sprinkle with sugar (if you so desire).
  11. Bake the scones for 15-20 mins or until the tops are lightly browned.
  12. Serve warm with butter or clotted cream.

Thoughts After Baking:

I loved it! I couldn’t stop eating.

Delicious! And perfect for tea time!

And eat scones!

For more scones, go to Harlem Tea Room Cheddar-Thyme Scones

For more recipes, go to Are Dean Winchester and Jane Austen Kindred Spirits?

For more Wilkie Collins, go to You Know You Really Love Tea When…

You Know You Really Love Tea When…

So some people love tea and others love tea.

I’m in the second category.

1. Yep, you know you love tea when five minutes feels like forever!:

2. When cup sizes never please you:

3. Life just doesn’t feel right if you don’t have a cup in hand:

4. When tea pops up in your everyday conversations:

5. When you use it to calm down:

6. Or from saying things you shouldn’t:

This could get ugly, better stir my tea.

7. You aren’t even British, but because of your love of tea people assume you are:

8. Your idea of “going out drinking” is going to a coffee shop and drinking hot tea:

9. You drink tea no matter the time of day or temperature:

10. When it is your tea time you wait for no one and will not be interrupted:

11. You are always offering people tea to drink:

12. You have a huge collection of tea spoons, tea cups, tea tins, loose leaf tea, bagged tea, etc.

13. When you go out to Coffee shops or Starbucks, you are the only one not drinking coffee.

Yep, the Tea Life is the Life for Me

For more tea posts, go to Perfectea, A Perfect Cup of Tea or Tea for Two

For more C.S. Lewis quotes, go to Book Club Picks: Sandcastle Kings

For more Wilkie Collins quotes, go to I Made My Own Teabags

For more Jane Austen Quotes, go to Triple Berry Salad

I Made My Own Teabags

PatrickjanementalistTEA

So I don’t know how many of you remember, but I went to Teavana and became addicted to loose leaf tea.

StirsTea

Yes, loose leaf tea is so much better than the bagged one. It is richer and just tastes amazing.

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Now there is a problem with it, unlike the bagged tea you can’t just stick the loose leaf tea in your purse or bag and take it wherever you go. You have to have the infuser, keep your tea dry and cool in an container, have a dish to hold the infuser afterwards, etc. It can be a lot of work.

tea

I mean a good infuser is hard to find, one that the holes are small enough the tea doesn’t come through. Once you find one, you protect it and make sure that it doesn’t get damaged. I like having my tea throughout the day and at work, so I’ve been buying loose leaf for home and carrying the packaged ones with me for travel.

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But this was starting to rack up in money and I knew there had to be an inexpensive way to make tea bags. But what to do?

ThinkingHmmwriting

I checked online to see if there was anything I could do. I found a way to make teabags using coffee filters on The Make Your Own ZoneThe directions and guide were super easy to follow and do. I made two bags and thought I would test them out at the nearest tea time.

teatimewomeninwhite

I stuck the bag in, and I think I folded it wrong as it had a ton of air in it and floated to the top. I had to use a spoon to weigh it down so it would steep. It tasted alright, but not as good as a regular infuser. I think it is good of you want to take your tea on the go.

But either way, loose leaf or bagged: I love tea!

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For more on tea, go to It’s Always Tea Time

For more Jane Austen Quotes, go to There’s a Cyclone Coming: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

 

It’s Always Tea Time

So a while back we had a tea party at our church for an event.

teaandscone

Different people were given a table, in which we could make our theme whatever we wanted. I was given a table and my theme was books! After all:

blanceTea&Books

Anyways, I just realized I forgot to post the pics from it. So I thought I would now.

tea

My centerpiece was a collection of nice hardcover classics stacked on top of each other, with a hollowed book on top that a tree branch came out of. Clipped to the tree was tea bags for each person to choose from.

I then chose six of my favorite classic books in which the characters have tea time or talk about tea. With each table setting I tried to embody the book.

mr knightley drinks tea

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Setting 1: Mansfield Park by Jane Austen, 1814

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So for the first setting I made sure to pair it with a very simple cup, as Fanny is not only a poorer relation, but she is a girl who likes simple things over the grandiose and showy. I laid out a copy of the book cover in front of the table setting, and then had this quote on the table.

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Then the cutlery:

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I put a white bow because Fanny would be the type to have a simple adornment like that, instead of extensive work on her dress.

I also added the gold cross as that is a huge part of the scheming by Maria Crawford to get Henry and Fanny matched up. When Fanny asks to borrow a chain for the gold cross her brother gave her, Maria sneakily gives her one that Henry gave her; so when Henry sees it he thinks that Fanny has decided to embrace his attentions, (i.e. gave him the green light).

For more on Mansfield Park, go to A World of Teas

For more Jane Austen, go to Free, for Lack of a Better Word, is Good

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Setting 2: Emma by Jane Austen, 1815

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The second setting I choose Emma. For this I had a gold and cream cup and saucer; the fanciest one I could find as Emma was rich and from an old family. She would have the finer things.

I laid out the book cover and this quote from the novel:

teaEmma

For Emma’s cutlery I wanted something a bit showier and fancier. I made a hair clip out of a red flower and gold fan charm. I thought this would encompass the character of Emma.

tea

For more on Emma, go to Baby Jane Austen

For more Jane Austen Quotes, go to I Can’t Pretend, I Have to Be

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Setting 3: The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins, 1859

thewomaninwhite

This was the table setting I choose for myself as I figured I would probably be the only one at the tea party who has read this book. And I was right. I don’t know why people don’t read Wilkie Collins anymore. This one of my favorite mysteries, as our main character comes upon a woman in white who holds a warning, leading him down a very twisted path. As the story continues, different characters become the voice of the book, until we reach the conclusion and discover who this woman in white is and what she is trying to stop.

I set up a copy of the book cover, and in front of it had my absolute favorite tea quote:

teatime

Seriously, if you aren’t here I am starting without you.

StirsTea

Anyways, the silverware:

tea

This was the first one I put together going with a magnifying glass as this was a mystery, and adding a cameo afterwards. I thought it would be a great symbol of the time, along with the white silhouette of a women being reminiscent of the woman in white.

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Setting 4: Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, 1865

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The fourth setting was an Alice in Wonderland theme. The cup I choose for this was one designed to be a rose, while the saucer a leaf. This was to symbolize the Garden that Alice has a not so fun time in.

I set up a copy of the book cover, and in front of it had this quote:

teatimealiceinwonderland

Then I designed the napkins thusly:

teanapkin

The watch of course for the White Rabbit who is always running late, and the creamer for the Mad Hatter and March Hare’s obsession with tea and their endless tea party.

For more on Alice in Wonderland, go to Disney Lesson

For more on Lewis Carroll, go to Can’t Go Back 

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Setting 5: Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie, 1911

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Second to last we had Peter Pan. The cup I choose for this one had strawberries on it, and I choose it because I thought it was something that Wendy would have liked.

I laid out the book cover and this quote:

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For the setting I went with something a little more basic, a red feather. This feather was supposed to be the feather Peter wears in his hat.

tea

For more on Peter Pan, go to My Teaddiction (Tea Addiction)

For more on J. M. Barrie, go to Fan-do or Fan-don’t. There is No Fan-try

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Setting 6: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis, 1950

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For the last setting I went a little more modern than the others. This one’s tea cup had a winter scene as the world of Narnia is stuck in a cycle of :

Always winter but never Christmas”

I laid the book cover and this quote:

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This quote is from Mrs. Beaver, but for cutlery design I went with Mr. Tumnus and Lucy’s tea time. I had two tiny tea cups tied to symbolize their tea for two.

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For more on The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, go to Simply Fantastic

For more on C. S. Lewis, go to Going on a Treasure Hunt

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drinkteaReadbooks

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For more on my love of tea, go to My Trip to Teavana

For more book-filled posts, go to A Book Only a Reader Could Write