Should We Pity Miss Bates or Strive to Be Her?

Oh Miss. Bates. Often we see her in Emma  films or when we encounter her in the story we ignore her:

Find her annoying:

Or pity her:

But then something stood out to me this time I read it that made me wonder…

Hmm…

Maybe WE have always approached this character the wrong way and we should actually strive to BE her.

So let’s start at the beginning.

Miss Bates was the daughter of a vicar, he having passed on and left the family in an improvised state.

She isn’t known to be intelligent, witty, or wise.

She wasn’t considered beautiful when she was young and isn’t seen as such now,

She never was courted, engaged, or married.

Her youth passed by with no distinction.

She now is middle-aged and spends all her time taking care of her elderly mother.

 And she spends most of her time trying to stretch her dollars as far as they can go.

Yes, life seems to be pretty grim.

So why should we want to be like her?

Because, despite ALL this, despite her life and circumstances, this is how she is:

“And yet she was a happy woman, and a woman whom no one named without good-will[sic].”

And where does this happiness come from? How does she have such pleasant emotion in such a bleak situation?

“It was her own universal good-will[sic] and contented temper which worked such wonders.”

Yes, her happiness isn’t derived from objects, money, people, beauty, etc. She is happy because she wants to be happy…

And because she can find pleasure in everything.

“She loved everybody, was interested in everyone’s happiness, quicksighted[sic] to every body’s merits: thought herself a most fortunate creature, and surrounded with blessings in such an excellent mother, and so many good neighbors and friends, and a home that wanted for nothing.”

Yes, most of us would be complaining, grumbling, whining, or disgusted to have her life…

But that isn’t how Miss Bates react. Instead she is joyful in everything and thankful for all she has in her life, even though most would view it as nothing. She reminds me of the green onion girl from Veggietales. Always joyful in everything.

And because of her joyful spirit she finds herself enjoying “a most uncommon degree of popularity.”

And that’s why I believe we should strive to be like her. How much nicer would life be if we learn to love what we have? If we tried to be kind and compassionate to all? If we looked at the good in others and our life instead of focusing on the negative?

For more on Miss Bates, go to A Bit Pottery About Jane Austen

For more Emma, go to When You Shockingly Relate to Mr. Woodhouse

For more Cristina Garcia quotes, go to Optimum Image

For more Charles Dickens quotes, go to Trek the Halls with Bones and Scotty

For more L.M. Montgomery quotes, go to I’m the Happiest Girl on Prince Edward Island: Anne of Green Gables

For more bible verses, go to Each Illustration is a Little Story. If You Watch Them, In a Few Minutes They Tell You a Tale: The Illustrated Man

For more Steve Maraboli quotes, go to The Final Chapter

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If Only You Could See

So often when we looks at ourselves we see nothing we like.

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We think that we aren’t smart enough, pretty enough, handsome enough, successful enough, etc. Just not living up to the expectations we and society build up.

Something is not right!

But you are wrong. If only you could see…

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Never forget!

And I truly mean it

And I truly mean it

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For more quotes, go to The Taxman Cometh

For more on The Breakfast Club, go to Optimum Image

 

 

Some Things Never Change

So as I was saying Marianne is not into Edward as a romantic hero.

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Here is a list of Edward’s shortcomings according to Marianne

  • He’s not handsome enough
  • Doesn’t have the right airs or manners.
  • He is tame with no fire (i.e. too much of a nice guy)
  • No taste in music
  • Doesn’t know anything about art
  • He’s not exciting

Now who does Marianne sound like? An average teenage girl.

Say What

Yep, this book came out around 200 years ago, yet it is as relevant as today. Does that surprise you?

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Let’s take a closer look at what she wants in a guy. First of all she doesn’t like Edward because he isn’t handsome enough. Now there are teenage girls who prefer substance over looks, I have to admit I was one as I liked guys who weren’t the hottest ones in school, but most young girls it’s what they see on the outside. I mean think about the guy in your high school that everyone wanted to date? Were they a nice person? Most of you will answer that as no. Nope, they tended to be all about themself.

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Now I’m not saying you won’t be able to find a hot nice guy, I’m just saying that sadly most girls don’t realize until after they have had their heart broken that looks are not as important as what is on the inside of a person.

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Yep, the heart or soul of a person is the most important thing.

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Marianne is also not into Edward because instead of showing fire and spirit, his eyes only show intelligence and virtue. You see Marianne doesn’t want a smart, nice boy. Nope, she wants that bad boy.

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Now having that bad boy can be exciting and all, but when push comes to shove they won’t care about what’s best for you but what’s best for them. Their crazy adventures will end up causing trouble for you, the “exciting” impulsive life will eventually become a bore, and their free spirit will become commitment phobia. Sadly, most young girls fall for this kind of “love” 9really attraction) instead of going with someone who is stable, reliable, and an all around guy good for you.

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And those are the guys that are the best.

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Marianne is also upset at his supposed disinterest in books and music.

“I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in ever point coincide with my own. He must enter into all my feelings; the same books, the same music must charm us both.”

Now I’ll be the first to say that I love movies, books, and music.

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But is that really what you want to base your relationship solely on?

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Now I’m not saying it isn’t important. I mean I love reading, it is such a part of me:

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And we all know my stance on film:

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And music…well

Music

But that isn’t what I base a whole relationship on. The person has to read, but what they read isn’t as important as the fact that they are doing it. Loving film and having the ability to marathon is definitely needed as I like to do that as well. Having some similar tastes in music, mostly in they have to be willing to listen to my oldies and classics. But all this is superficial. What is more important is how they treat you.

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Do they see you as equal or belittle you? Do they value your opinions or not care what you think about? Are they willing to value you and your time together or do they not care as they could get “any old girl”? Do they share the same values?

Hmm

Hmm

True back in Regency era, they didn’t really care about that. It was more about bloodlines, dowries, etc. But this should be the way it is. As a person of any age looking for the perfect guy, you need to make sure that you push through the superficial, outer layer and look instead at what is underneath. See what truly makes up that person. Or else you will learn the hard way and get your heart incredibly crushed (or worse) in the process.

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Remember:

PerfectGuy

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So how does this turn out for Marianne?

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You’ll just have to wait and see.

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For more on Marianne Dashwood, go to Sisterly Roles

For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to To Edward or Not to Edward?

For more on being old fashioned, go to Treat Her Right

For more quotes, go to Adventure Time

To Edward or Not to Edward?

So when we last left off in Sense and Sensibility things were going haywire.

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Yep. Fanny Dashwood didn’t even wait for the body of Mr. Dashwood to cool before she moved in the home and claimed it as her own.

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I hate that woman.

Hate YOu

I mean

Girl Please

Just calm yourself down and wait.

Anyways, Fanny’s brother also came to visit.

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And was such a pleasant surprise to everyone in his kindness. In fact Elinor finds him incredibly charming.

In fact she is the one that pushes her family to spend time with him and see him as his own sweet person instead of evil incarnated like Fanny.

“I think you will like him’, said Elinor, ‘when you know more of him.”

In fact Mrs. Dashwood does grow to like him as she seems him as tender, sweet, and the perfect match for Elinor…not to mention he’s also rich and could take care of them all.

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And that’s when Mrs. Dashwood starts planning their match, really taking a card from Mrs. Bennet in assuming something without any real proof of it’s existince. Yep, she thinks that Elinor and Edward are headed down the aisle.

“In a few months, my dear Marianne,’ said she [Mrs. Dashwood], ‘Elinor will, in all probability be settled for life. We shall miss her, but she will be happy.”

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Yeah mom, you probably should have talked to Edward and Elinor before announcing or planning it.

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Now there are two people who are not happy with this. Marianne, the first, doesn’t want Elinor to marry Edward. Now some of you might think that she doesn’t want to lose her sister, which is part of the reason, but her biggest issue with Edward is that she thinks he is boring.

Bones David Bored I;m bored boring

Edward as a romantic hero? Marianne says:

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Here is a list of Edward’s shortcomings according to Marianne

  • He’s not handsome enough
  • Doesn’t have the right airs or manners.
  • He is tame with no fire in his eyes (i.e. too much of a nice guy)
  • No taste in music
  • Doesn’t know anything about art
  • He’s not exciting

Yep, to Marianne nice, secure, sweet is not really what she wants. She’s after a guy from a romance novel who is dashing, charming, has a heart of gold, who loves music and poetry and will focus on that instead of being sweet or secure. Yep Marianne is just like you.

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And the other person who is not happy about this closeness…well (as I’m sure you all guessed) that person is Fanny.

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She is not about that at all:

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But more on that later as well.

So To Edward or not to Edward is the question for Elinor, of which we will read the answer in an upcoming post.

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For more on Sense and Sensibility, go to The Eye of the Storm

For more on Elinor & Marianne, go to Sisterly Roles

For more on the fiendish Fanny Dashwood, go to Promises Were Made to Be Broken