Talking Doll Terror, Insane Inmates at the Asylum, and Movie Monsters Come to Life: Good Will Haunting, Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1998)

I grew up reading and watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I loved it and am not a fan of the reboot as Melissa Joan Hart was just so sweet and the show hilarious.

I was always rooting for her and Harvey to get together.

This episode takes place in season three. What has happened so far is Sabrina is a half witch half mortal who has discovered on her 16th birthday she is a witch. Until she gets her witch’s license she cannot see her mother; and is instead sent to live with her fraternal aunts, Aunt Zelda and Hilda.

Sabrina’s best friend is Valerie, who is incredibly anxious and constantly freaking out with no real personality, and Sabrina is dating Harvey Kinkle “a quasi-jock with semi-literary aspirations and a hint of nihilism”.

In season three Sabrina has gone through many adventures but currently she is trying to solve the family secret (in order to get her witches license). So far in this season Sabrina has chosen between two boys vying for her attention a half witch (Dashiell) and her previous boyfriend Harvey; she gets her face turned bright red trying an embarrassment remover spell; she and Harvey do not get paired up for her “fake marriage” assignment in class and she gets jealous; she tries out being a witch-magician; and discovers she has a witch allergy to pancakes.

We start the episode off with a narration from Salem in the manner of Alfred Hitchcock Presents meets The Twilight Zone.

This Halloween, Valerie has once again made plans without asking Sabrina. She has invited her boyfriend Justin, Harvey, and herself over for a scary movie night. Sabrina is not thrilled Valerie has repeated what she did the previous year, but happy when her aunts agree to let her stay in the mortal world this year instead of going to the witches’ realm.

Her aunts on the other hand are not as lucky and have to attend their great aunt Beulah’s Halloween party. They have been able to avoid it for the last 500 years but are no longer able to.

Sabrina and Valerie are having a good time watching Clint Eastwood films (the video store was out of the scary movies) when she gets an unexpected delivery from the other realm. A “Molly Dolly”. This “Talking Tina” lookalike quickly turns this evening from a fun night to a terrifying one:

Molly Dolly: “I’m a Molly Dolly”.

Sabrina: “Stop that! Can’t you say anything else?”

Molly Dolly: “I’m a Molly Dolly, and I’m gonna get you”.

Sabrina: (nervously) “That’s not what I wanted to hear”.

Sabrina tries to hide the doll from everyone but this turns out to be something she can not handle with her magic. The doll keeps the doors and windows from opening, brings in the real Frankenstein’s monster, the mummy, and more.

From Supernatural

While Sabrina’s tries to outsmart the demon doll; her aunts have headed to the Other Realm and the party. When they arrive at Aunt Beulah’s home it turns out to be an insane asylum with a Guy Who Thinks He’s Gary Owens, a wacky butler Bellevuedere, multiple personality Delilah, a mad scientist Dr. Hans Egglehoffer, and crazy Aunt Beulah.

Zelda and Hilda try to leave but find themselves locked in with no way out. Their powers are gone and they are captured during their escape and get their brains switched with a chicken.

Sabrina is at the edge of her rope trying to hide the witchery and keep her friends safe and travels over to the other realm to get help from her aunts.

When she gets there the truth comes out: her aunts were never in any danger as it is an insane asylum themed Halloween party. Her Aunt Beulah sent the doll so that Sabrina could have fun with her friends, not realizing that her friends are mortals and not witches.

From Clueless

Zelda and Hilda are set back in the right order, Sabrina goes home and the doll + monsters are sent home, Sabrina’s friends continue celebrating Halloween with her and all is well…except there is a werewolf with Salem that wasn’t sent with the doll.

We end with a Salem recapping the episode via-a-vis Alfred Hitchcock or Rod Serling. It’s a cute and fun episode. Definitely one to enjoy on Halloween.

For more Sabrina the Teenage Witch, go to A River of Candy Corn Runs Through It: Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1997)

For more witches, go to The Witch’s Curse: Murder She Wrote (1992)

For more asylums, go to Is Lassiter Crazy or Has He Discovered a Criminal Case in a Recovery Hospital?: Psych 2, Lassie Come Home (2020)

For more Halloween Parties, go to How to Throw a Hallotean Party

Always There For You

In this life, there are few things we can actually depend on to help when things go bad. One of these is food.

I’m sure you’ve all felt this way at one point. I know that when I get really angry I can scarf done so much, it’s crazy!

After all, food is always there for you.

Yep, food will always be there to help you get a better perspective.

For more of my thoughts on food, go to I Before E, Especially After P

For more Sabrina the Teenage Witch, go to It Doesn’t Exist

Pizza Power

I love Pizza!

 

I mean how can you not, it is just an amazing creation. One of the best inventions ever!

I love Pizza

Every time is great for pizza, although I do have to admit that I think I order it more than I should.

I mean, when I eat it I think about how it is not the best thing in the world to be eating.

But hey, pizza fixes everything!

Yep!

I know I sound like a Ninja Turtle, but Pizza Power

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For more on pizza, go to Pink Elephants

For more on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, go to Episode III: Revenge of the My Favorite Movie Lines List

For more of my favorite songs, go to For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic

For more non-Austen films, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more of my favorite quotes, go to I’ll Be Alright Without You by Journey

For more on love triangles, go to Love Stinks

For more of my everyday musings, go to For All the Men Who Wonder What It’s Like or check out my tumblr

Pink Elephants

14) Your Least Favorite Disney Song

I hate the song Pink Elephants on Parade from Dumbo. This song is horrible and freaked me out as kid. It actually continues to do so. This song is just wrong on so many levels. 

Everytime I see it I’m like why was this made? I mean a drunk elephant? Really disney? Really?

I can’t watch it, think about it, or talk about it. Its horrible and horrfying!

Die, die, die!

“Seeing pink elephants” term means a hallucination, caused by alcohol. Jack London is the first to have used the term in his autobiographical book John Barleycorn, as “the man whom we all know, stupid, unimaginative, whose brain is bitten numbly by numb maggots; who walks generously with wide-spread, tentative legs, falls frequently in the gutter, and who sees, in the extremity of his ecstasy, blue mice and pink elephants.”

Here’s the vid if you want to see it. Watch at your own risk.

For more on Dumbo, go to Episode VI: Return of the Movie Lines List

For more on Disney animals, go to the Cat’s Meow

For more of my favorite songs, go to There’s No One Like Gaston

For more on Disney, go to If I Never Knew You

In other news, yesterday was

Yep, I stuck to my usual tradition, calling in a pizza

When I put in my special instructions, I asked for the guy to talk in a Transylvanian accent. I mean come on, it’s Friday the 13th!

Then I put on my Ghostbuster T-shirt, as there was no way I could spend Friday the 13th not wearing that. I mean seriously.

So I was sitting down and waiting for my pizza using the Heavy Metal one as its the best

But it didn’t work. It said prep the whole time.

Anyways, so when the guy got there he didn’t want to do the accent, which made me sad as I really wanted it! It’s Friday the 13th! Keegan would have done it (that was the delivery guy I had last time). I play-threatened to not tip him, but got what I wanted in the end. 🙂

Since it was a full moon, I decided the films I would watch would be werewolf theme. I started off with

as I have had it referenced in so many books and movies, but it sucked. Really, really bad. Come back in October and read my review.

Then I watched:

Which was amazing! I LOVE this movie so much. (A review of it will also be out this October)

All in all it was a pretty good Friday the 13th. 🙂

For more on The Wolf Man (1941), go to My Favorite Movie Lines

For more on Classic Horror Films, go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens this Casket

For more on Friday the 13th, go to That Video…is Not of This World

For more on Horror films, go to I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

For more on Heavy Metal, go to Unbound (The Wild Ride)

For more on Pizza, go to Would You Like a Pizza My Heart?

There’s No One Like Gaston

Day 13) You Favorite Villain Song

Now I know there are many more scary and mean villian songs, but this one is my favorite. I love Gaston, but let me clarify, I love Gaston like how I love Draco Malfoy. They have some the best lines, they are so egotestical that they are hilarious, and you just know the story would be a snooze-fest without them. Gaston’s song is so awesome because it is so silly, egotestical, manly, and a total laugh riot.

I mean this is like the ultimate pep talk. Next time you have a friend who isn’t doing well, just change the words around and add their name in. They’ll thank you for it. 🙂

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re ev’ryone’s favorite guy
Ev’ryone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why

No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s quick as Gaston
No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one’s been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
No one’s got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating
My- what a guy, that Gaston

Give five “hurrahs!”
Give twelve “hip-hips!”
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips

No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston
For there’s no one as burly and brawny
As you see I’ve got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny
(That’s right!)
And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair

No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I’m espcially good at expectorating
(Ptooey!)
Ten points for Gaston!

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev’ry morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge

No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating
Say it again
Who’s a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who’s the hero next door?
Who’s a super success?
Don’t you know? Can’t you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There’s just one guy in town who’s got all of it down
And his name’s G-A-S- T –
G-A-S-T – E –
G-A-S-T-O – oh!

GASTON!!!

For more on Beauty and the Beast, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

For more of my favorite songs, go to If I Never Knew You

For more on Disney Villains, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on Disney go to I’ll Make a Man Out of You

For more on Draco Malfoy, go to Even After All This Time

In other news:

and not just that, it is also a full moon

Yep two things:

Horror films!!! And…

Pizza!!!

Yep every Friday the 13th pizza and a horror flick!

If you are into scary movies then I suggest reviewing Horrorfest: 31 Day of Terror and Woe and Horrorfest II: The Oddities of October. Also keep your eyes peeled for a three-quel!

And if you want to continue in this Friday the 13th mood, check out Camp Blood: Friday the 13th (1980) and A Deliciously Creepy Tale: Butterfinger the 13th.