Always There For You

In this life, there are few things we can actually depend on to help when things go bad. One of these is food.

Eating

I’m sure you’ve all felt this way at one point. I know that when I get really angry I can scarf done so much, it’s crazy!

i eat

After all, food is always there for you.

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Yep, food will always be there to help you get a better perspective.

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For more of my thoughts on food, go to I Before E, Especially After P

For more Sabrina the Teenage Witch, go to It Doesn’t Exist

Pizza Power

I love Pizza!Love triangle pizza

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I mean how can you not, it is just an amazing creation. One of the best inventions ever!

I love Pizza

I love Pizza

Every time is great for pizza, although I do have to admit that I think I order it more than I should.

Pizza Delivery Sabrina the teenage witch

I mean, when I eat it I think about how it is not the best thing in the world to be eating.

Pizza

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But hey, pizza fixes everything!

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Yep!

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I know I sound like a Ninja Turtle, but Pizza Power

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For more on pizza, go to Pink Elephants

For more on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, go to Episode III: Revenge of the My Favorite Movie Lines List

For more of my favorite songs, go to For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic

For more non-Austen films, go to Part VII: It Was Said One Night

For more of my favorite quotes, go to I’ll Be Alright Without You by Journey

For more on love triangles, go to Love Stinks

For more of my everyday musings, go to For All the Men Who Wonder What It’s Like or check out my tumblr

Pink Elephants

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14) Your Least Favorite Disney Song

I hate the song Pink Elephants on Parade from Dumbo. This song is horrible and freaked me out as kid. It actually continues to do so. This song is just wrong on so many levels. Aw! Look at his face. :(

Everytime I see it I’m like why was this made? I mean a drunk elephant? Really disney? Really?

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I can’t watch it, think about it, or talk about it. Its horrible and horrfying!

Die, die, die!

Die, die, die!

“Seeing pink elephants” term means a hallucination, caused by alcohol. Jack London is the first to have used the term in his autobiographical book John Barleycorn, as “the man whom we all know, stupid, unimaginative, whose brain is bitten numbly by numb maggots; who walks generously with wide-spread, tentative legs, falls frequently in the gutter, and who sees, in the extremity of his ecstasy, blue mice and pink elephants.”

Here’s the vid if you want to see it. Watch at your own risk.

For more on Dumbo, go to Episode VI: Return of the Movie Lines List

For more on Disney animals, go to the Cat’s Meow

For more of my favorite songs, go to There’s No One Like Gaston

For more on Disney, go to If I Never Knew You

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In other news, yesterday was

Fridaythe13th

Yep, I stuck to my usual tradition, calling in a pizza

Pizza Delivery Sabrina the teenage witch

When I put in my special instructions, I asked for the guy to talk in a Transylvanian accent. I mean come on, it’s Friday the 13th!

Then I put on my Ghostbuster T-shirt, as there was no way I could spend Friday the 13th not wearing that. I mean seriously.

So I was sitting down and waiting for my pizza using the Heavy Metal one as its the best

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But it didn’t work. It said prep the whole time.

Anyways, so when the guy got there he didn’t want to do the accent, which made me sad as I really wanted it! It’s Friday the 13th! Keegan would have done it (that was the delivery guy I had last time). I play-threatened to not tip him, but got what I wanted in the end. 🙂

Since it was a full moon, I decided the films I would watch would be werewolf theme. I started off with

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as I have had it referenced in so many books and movies, but it sucked. Really, really bad. Come back in October and read my review.

Then I watched:

the wolf man

Which was amazing! I LOVE this movie so much. (A review of it will also be out this October)

All in all it was a pretty good Friday the 13th. 🙂

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For more on The Wolf Man (1941), go to My Favorite Movie Lines

For more on Classic Horror Films, go to Eternal Punishment for Anyone Who Opens this Casket

For more on Friday the 13th, go to That Video…is Not of This World

For more on Horror films, go to I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

For more on Heavy Metal, go to Unbound (The Wild Ride)

For more on Pizza, go to Would You Like a Pizza My Heart?

There’s No One Like Gaston

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Day 13) You Favorite Villain Song

Gaston

Now I know there are many more scary and mean villian songs, but this one is my favorite. I love Gaston, but let me clarify, I love Gaston like how I love Draco Malfoy. They have some the best lines, they are so egotestical that they are hilarious, and you just know the story would be a snooze-fest without them. Gaston’s song is so awesome because it is so silly, egotestical, manly, and a total laugh riot.

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I mean this is like the ultimate pep talk. Next time you have a friend who isn’t doing well, just change the words around and add their name in. They’ll thank you for it. 🙂

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re ev’ryone’s favorite guy
Ev’ryone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why

No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s quick as Gaston
No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one’s been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
No one’s got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating
My- what a guy, that Gaston

Give five “hurrahs!”
Give twelve “hip-hips!”
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips

No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston
For there’s no one as burly and brawny
As you see I’ve got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny
(That’s right!)
And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair

No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I’m espcially good at expectorating
(Ptooey!)
Ten points for Gaston!

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev’ry morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge

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No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating
Say it again
Who’s a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who’s the hero next door?
Who’s a super success?
Don’t you know? Can’t you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There’s just one guy in town who’s got all of it down
And his name’s G-A-S- T –
G-A-S-T – E –
G-A-S-T-O – oh!

GASTON!!!

For more on Beauty and the Beast, go to Episode VI: Return of the Favorite Movie Lines List

For more of my favorite songs, go to If I Never Knew You

For more on Disney Villains, go to The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind

For more on Disney go to I’ll Make a Man Out of You

For more on Draco Malfoy, go to Even After All This Time

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In other news:

Fridaythe13th

and not just that, it is also a full moon

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Yep two things:

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Horror films!!! And…

Pizza Delivery Sabrina the teenage witch

Pizza!!!

Yep every Friday the 13th pizza and a horror flick!

If you are into scary movies then I suggest reviewing Horrorfest: 31 Day of Terror and Woe and Horrorfest II: The Oddities of October. Also keep your eyes peeled for a three-quel!

And if you want to continue in this Friday the 13th mood, check out Camp Blood: Friday the 13th (1980) and A Deliciously Creepy Tale: Butterfinger the 13th.

I Saw Goody Osburn With the Devil: The Crucible (1996)

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I saw Sarah Good with the Devil! I saw Goody Osburn with the Devil! I saw Bridget Bishop with the Devil!

The play The Crucible by Arthur Miller is one amazing work, and the film version really did it justice. This play is about the Salem Witch Trials, but is in actuality written to speak out against the Anti-Communist feelings, McCarthyism, the HUAC, blacklisting actors, etc. Miller used real historical figures as the basis for the characters in his play.

The Crucible takes place in Salem, MA in 1692. The film starts off with a bunch of teenage girls partying in the woods with the minister’s (Reverend Samuel Parris) Barbadian slave Tituba. One of the girls is the minister’s daughter Betty and his niece Abigail. Abigail takes the chicken used in the ritual and kills it, afterwards drinking its blood, and wishes for John Proctor‘s wife to die so that she can have him.

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Just as Abigail finishes, the minister surprises the girls in the woods and they all run off.

That day Betty won’t wake up, no matter what Abigail does. The other girls are worried and Abigail makes them promise that they will not tell anyone anything, except that they were just dancing in the woods. She knows that they will all get into DEEP, DEEP trouble if anyone finds out what they were doing. Rev. Parris questions Abigail intensely and she continues with the dancing story. Parris asks if her name is unblemished in the community, as he is worried that if their are any marks against her, people will not  believe them. There was an issue with her being thrown out of Elizabeth Proctor‘s house, (more on this later), but Abigail insists that the reason she was sent away was because she wasn’t subversive enough.

The Putnams, a powerful family, come over and say that their daughter Ruth won’t wake up either. Goody Putnam has lost all her babies, Ruth having been the only exception, and believes that it must be witchcraft that killed them. They also say they have heard that the girls are bewitched. Rev. Parris is worried at what to do and sends for Rev. Hale, a known witch hunter, to figure out this mess.

John Proctor arrives on the scene, played by the very attractive, the very talented, and one of the best things in this film, actor Daniel Day–Lewis (DDL).

Look at that hunk of a man! :)

Look at that hunk of a man! 🙂

Proctor is a manly man, :D, but has a major tiff with Rev. Parris. (There tensions go way back) He doesn’t think that anything is wrong with girls, but suspects that they are just playing around. As he leaves he is approached by Abigail who was waiting for him outside. Abigail was working in his house and the two had an affair! Gasp! (Although he is so attractive I can’t blame the girl for crushing on him, but she should have respected the fact that he is MARRIED!) HIs wife, Elizabeth,  figured that something was up between them and threw her out of her house.

Anyways, Abigail wants them to get back together, but John says no. He is ashamed of what he did and is only about his wife now. However, Abigail is not so ready to let go.

You loved me, John Proctor, and whatever sin it is, you love me yet!

You loved me, John Proctor, and whatever sin it is, you love me yet!

OBSESSED!  This girl has psycho-stalker all over it.

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Rev. Hale comes to town and under his intense questioning, Abigail decides she is going to have to give him more than “they were dancing in the woods.” She tells him that Tituba bewitched her and the girls, and forced them to do witchcraft. Tituba, freaks out and after she is beaten she confesses that the Devil came to her. She also says that Sarah Good, Goody Osburn, and Bridget Bishop with the devil. Soon all the girls are chanting and adding to the list of who the witches are. Rev. Hale calls for chains so that they can throw the women into prison. This is a pretty, crazy, intense scene.

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John Proctor is at his farm and can hardly believe how crazy the witchcraze has gotten. (Miller really makes his point on how quickly a witch hunt can happen and how innocents will get hurt.) He told Elizabeth that Abigail told him it was all joke, but can’t tell everyone else because she said it to him in private. Elizabeth loses all faith in her husband, fearing that the two tried to rekindle their affair.

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Mary Warren, their hired girl, comes in and says that they have now 39 people standing trial for witchcraft. She gives Elizabeth a poppet she made at court.  John doesn’t want Mary going to the trails anymore and threatens to beat her, but Mary says he should watch out she as she is a valuable asset and just saved Elizabeth from being named a witch.

After Mary goes to bed the two worriedly confer about what this means for Elizabeth. Soon Hale shows up to question their Christian character. He says that Elizabeth has only been mentioned in passing, that he is really there to check on John. He quizzes him on the ten commandments, with Proctor only missing one, “thou shall not commit adultery”.

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Proctor reveals that Abigail told him that the witchcraft was all joke. Hale is confused as many have confessed, although if they hadn’t they would have hanged. As Hale ponders this,  Francis Nurse and Giles Corey burst in reavealing that their wives, Rebecca and Martha (both good Christian women) were taken. Hale is in shock, as is the Proctors when policeman come to take Elizabeth away. They check Elizabeth’s poppet, given to her by Mary, and find a needle in it. This is proof of witchcraft, as apparently Abigail has been saying that Elizabeth has been tormenting her with her witchy spirit. She was just taken under affliction and a needle found stabbed in her stomach, exactly where it was in the poppet.

After Elizabeth is taken, John loses his temper and convinces Mary to reveal the truth, that everything was a game.

Corey, Nurse, John, & Mary all burst in the court and try and show that it has all been a lie. Putnam had his daughter name people to get land and Abigail was after John. It turns out that Elizabeth won’t hang as she is pregnant, but John won’t let up.  Mary turns on him and calls him a devil, the girls all start screaming it too.

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John yells out that Abigail is a whore.

John Proctor: It is a whore’s vengeance

Now the game has changed as John reveals all. He tells them how he and Abigail were together and his wife threw her out and Abigail is out revenge. This is a serious charge as no one would announce themself a lecher. The Judge asks whether or not Elizabeth is a truthful person and will reveal that is the reason why she kicked Abigail out. After John and the others convince the Judge of Elizabeth’s character, he decides to bring her in to settle the whole thing. He first has Abigail and John face him, they are not allowed to turn around. He then has Elizabeth come in, and questions whether or not her husband has committed adultery. Elizabeth faces the judge but can’t say that her husband sinned, she loves him too much and doesn’t want to hurt him. John is then called a witch and sentenced to be hanged.

Abigail realizes that even though they sentenced John to keep the court from being a mockery, no one trusts her and all believe her to be a whore. She steals away in the dead of night with all of Rev. Parris’ money.

It is hanging time and the Judges, Hale, & Parris are all hoping to get a confession out of Proctor. Proctor doesn’t want to, but after they bring Elizabeth to him, he wants to be there for the baby. He goes to sign his confession, but won’t say he saw anyone else with the devil. Proctor may be willing to give in and denounce himself, but won’t take anyone down with him, he’s too honest for that. He signs the confession, but takes the paper back. (This scene is really powerful as DDL gives an amazing performance.) The leaders want to nail the confession to the door, but he won’t let them, as he can’t have his sons living in shame. Ultimately he takes back his confession and decides to die an honest man.

How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!

How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!

Rebecca, Mariah, & John are all hanged as they say the Lord’s Prayer. This is to prove they are not witches, as it was believed that nobody in league with the Devil could recite the prayer.

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It is a really powerful film and a must see for anyone. Not only is it historical fiction and a suspense/horror film (Suspror), but the issues expressed in it are not something that can be pinpointed to one time, but constantly crop up through the ages. When something strange is going on, or when one is afraid; often they latch out and try to hunt out “the cause” picking one to be the scapegoat and hold the blame.

Here is a cover page/poster I made for my countdown to Halloween. Enjoy 😀

23

A River of Candy Corn Runs Through It: Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1997)

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You mean Halloween might actually be fun this year?

Not exactly Sabrina.

So its Halloween, the Christmas for witches and Sabrina is stoked that she won’t have to go to any big, boring, family party like the year before. Instead her aunts decided that they are all going to stay home this year and relax. Her aunts just bought furniture on sale from the Witches’s Realm and are eager to break them in.

At school, the bane of Sabrina’s existence, Libby is throwing a Halloween bash, only for the “cool” people.

Naturally that means you freaks aren't invited.

Naturally that means you freaks aren’t invited.

Valerie is upset that she and Sabrina are not invited and spreads around that Sabrina is throwing her own Halloween party that will be cooler than anything Libby does.

Not Valerie always upsetted me. I REALLY don’t like her. I mean they talk about how “insecure” she is but I think she us mean and manipulative. She is always getting Sabrina to do stuff for her, give her things, lend her things, etc; never asking or saying thank you. She is willing to ditch Sabrina anytime if a chance at popularity comes her way. And she committed the ultimate BFF sin, she went on a date with Harvey, Sabrina’s boyfriend. Granted they were on a break, but a true BFF NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER dates her friend’s ex.

So Sabrina doesn’t want to Sa Val or the student body and she really does want to show Libby up so she agrees to do it. She makes her aunts promise that nothing weird will happen but that they will have a normal, mortal, party.

Her aunts are excited and decide to increase their candy corn production.

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Even Salem is down, and eager to check out the snacks.

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Sadly Harvey can’t come as he is taking his little brother trick or treating. This freaks Sabrina out as she was counting on him being the “cool” person guarenteeed to be there.

To make matters worse it turns out that they have talking furniture. That’s one of the problems with buying other realm items. They can’t return them either, as it is Halloween, and the other realm buisnesses are shut down. They try to put the furniture down in the basement but it turns out they have other realm termites. They leave them upstairs and hope they will be quiet.

Valerie comes over dressed up as a duck.

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Unfortunately nobody else does, and Val is so embarrassed she runs upstairs to Sabrina’s room and tries to hide out there. They both have to come down though as the party sucks. No one is having a good time, they can’t use the stereo because the termites at it, and the kettle is producing mass quantities of candy corn.

To make matters even worse Halloween carolers and Sabrina’s quizmaster show up

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The “cool crowd” shows up and Sabrina tries to do something to salvage the party. Then everything goes crazy.

Valerie drops through the floor because the termites ate through the wood, the couches start moving and talking, the carolers come in, and a river of candy corn flows through the living room.

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Sabrina is at a loss to explain what is going on, but she doesn’t have to. Everyone thinks that Sabrina did it to make her Halloween party one spectacular event. She quickly becomes the toast of the school.

Harvey even shows up after he finishes with his brother. Libby shows up since her party was a washout and Harvey’s brother egged her house. Sabrina finishes the night by zapping in the 10,000 Maniacs.

If you’d like to check it out for yourself, go here.